Susan Scott's Blog, page 50

Friday Resource: How to Handle Difficult Conversations at Work

This week’s Friday Resource was originally published by Harvard Business Review and details how to handle difficult work situations.

Difficult conversations and situations are part of our lives. For those in a management role, these conversations can be more common than you’d like.  Whether you are delivering bad news to a client, or having a performance review conversation with a direct report – it’s no easy task.

The difficult nature of these conversations can force some people to avoid them altogether, which is a mistake. These conversations help us grow – as leaders, employees and people. So instead of avoiding them, learn how to handle them in a way that produces a better outcome for both parties.

A few tips to help you get there:

Plan but don’t recite. You should never go into a tough conversation unprepared, however you should not read from a script. The conversation will rarely go exactly as planned and it is unfair for your counterpart to not be prepped for their part in your conversation.

Reflect. This is something we rarely have time for in our busy lives, yet is one of the best tools that the greatest leaders use regularly. Make time to reflect on what went well and what can be improved for your next fierce conversation.

The bulk of these tips are from Jean-Francois Manzoni, professor of human resources and organizational development at INSEAD, and can help you take on a fierce conversation. Now it’s up to you to have it.

Read the article

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Have a Fierce Conversation

We all want to have meaningful and real conversations in our lives – both inside and outside of work. In the workplace, Gallup has found that consistent communication — whether it occurs in person, over the phone or electronically — is connected to higher engagement. Gallup shares, “For example, employees whose managers hold regular meetings with them are almost three times as likely to be engaged as employees whose managers do not hold regular meetings with them.”

And let’s be honest – scheduling meetings is the bare minimum requirement here. What is important is the type of conversations you have. And without surprise, I will recommend you make them fierce.

The simplest definition of a fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself, into the conversation, and make it real.

You know you’re having a Fierce Conversation when:

You are speaking in your real voice.You are speaking to the heart of the matter. You are really asking and really listening.You are generating heat. You are enriching the relationship.You are different when the conversation is over.

In your meetings, do you feel you have conversations like this? How can you introduce these elements into your daily conversations?

It is not easy. Yet, it is worth it. One of our clients, Mary Buscher from Sammons Annuity Group said, “When people are willing to look at the importance of conversations and relationships in the workplace through a new lens, amazing things occur.”

What fierce conversation has your name on it?

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Create Time for a New Relationship

Looking ahead at your eventful week, think about the many people you will interact with – on the phone, via email, in your community, and in the office.

When you talk with these people, will you ask engaging questions and really listen for the answers? Or will you simply wait until it is your turn and talk at somebody?

As Susan Scott, Fierce Founder, states, “If you want to become a great leader, gain the capacity to connect with your colleagues and customers at a deep level…or lower your aim.”

Being genuine and authentic is easily identifiable through conversation. Conversely, being unauthentic and fake can be even more obvious.

This week’s tip is to make time to rekindle a fading relationship or create a new one with someone in your life. Schedule the time in your calendar to build this new relationship. Create a habit of it.

Some reliable ways to forge this new relationship:

Ask questions and truly listen.Enjoy yourself and laugh.Share coffee, chocolate or some other treat.Send a personal note after and follow-up.

It isn’t that complicated, yet we have trouble finding the time to create new relationships.

How will you practice building a new relationship this week?  

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Friday Resource: When a Vacation Reduces Stress — And When It Doesn’t

This week’s Friday Resource was originally published by Harvard Business Review and discusses why employees have varying levels of happiness after returning from vacation.

To put it simply – all vacations are not created equally.

There is no doubt that a positive vacation creates a significant increase in happiness and energy levels while reducing stress. However, a poorly planned stressful trip can leave you more burnt out than before. According to the research, the post-vacation blues are more a result of the type of vacation you take than taking the vacation itself.

So is it easy to just have a great, stress free vacation? According to the research, apparently not. Luckily there are some steps you can take to help plan your stress free vacation.

Go far away. We all know the benefits of a staycation – lowering your carbon footprint, saving money and being a tourist in your own city are all great things. However, a 2013 Twitter study revealed that the farther away the location, the better the trip tended to be for the traveler. Skip the staycation and explore the world.Plan in advance. One of the leading contributors to a stressful trip is poor planning. Lack of adequate preparations leaves you scrambling around and in a state of frenzy. Start planning your trip out at least a month in advance and your vacation stress reduces greatly.Hang out with a local. This may seem odd, but one of the biggest stressors of a trip is managing the tiny travel details that all add up. Getting in-touch with a local host can give you a better lay of the land, creating a much richer experience.

 

So it’s up to you, will you have an amazing vacation or face the (stressful) repercussions of a no-so-amazing one?

Read the article

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3 Tips for Curing the Post-Vacation Blues

If you took a vacation and this post is relevant to you, congratulations! Taking time off is important.

However, coming back from vacation and hitting the ground running can be quite jarring. In fact, the whole notion of “post vacation blues” is actually a top excuse used to not take vacations by many Americans, and consequently, the American workforce leaves approximately 429 million paid vacation days on the table every single year. Wow. At the end of the day, as a leader, it is your choice – no one else’s – to take or not take your provided vacation days.

In an effort to not contribute to that astronomical number, I recently took some time off for a vacation to France. It was an amazing adventure, from Eiffel Tower view picnics to being next to the summit of Mont Blanc to indulging in sunflower fields in Provence. The trip awakened my senses in a way that only travel can and deepened my appreciation for life, among other things. That is what all vacations should do in one way or another.

And then it was time to return to my busy life. And you have to return to yours, eventually. Here are three tips to consider to make your post-blissful time off to be the most successful.

Before you go: Decide on how often you will check-in. There is a lot of advice about how much you should or shouldn’t check into the office while on vacation. The reality is that you need to find the level of comfort and satisfaction that works for you. Some people do not want to check work email at all. Others have anxiety with the very idea of seeing a three or four-digit number of emails in their inbox when they return. In Seth Godin’s book Tribes, he shares a story about being on vacation, not being able to sleep, and getting up early in the morning to check his email in the hotel lobby. A couple comes in from late-night partying, and one of them says, “Isn’t it sad? That guy comes here on vacation and he’s stuck checking his email. He can’t even enjoy his two weeks off.” Godin thinks to himself, “Other than sleeping, there was nothing I’d rather have been doing at that moment, because I’m lucky enough to have a job where I get to make change happen.” As leaders, and actually as human beings, we are all in different places in our lives, our careers, our journeys. Don’t rely on the standards set forth by others. Decide what works for you – every few days? Every morning? Never? Once you decide, communicate with your team. Be clear and transparent.Choose one thing. It is easy to be swept back into the everyday and not truly reflect on your time on vacation before you go back to “the grind”. Make sure to pause. A question Eric, my partner-in-crime, and I asked ourselves after our trip to France was: If we could incorporate one lesson/change based on what we enjoyed/learned/noticed on our trip, what would it be? Eric’s answer was to sloooow down. The French are good at taking time in the day and not rushing through their life in panicked frenzies (which let’s be honest, we see too often in American cities). My inspiration was from all the art, food, and beauty in France. The one thing I want to incorporate more in my life is to indulge in creative outlets – to paint or draw or anything that feels freeing. Now he and I can help each other incorporate these pieces into our lives. If we didn’t reflect on it, it would be impossible to be deliberate after coming back. Be just as intentional with your time off as you are with your time working. Take from the many memories and lessons you learned on your vacation – do not forget about them immediately upon your return.Schedule your next vacation. Even if it is a small trip or staycation. As Susan Scott, our Founder, mentioned in her piece How to Take a Vacation , “When your body and brain are running on fumes, you can’t do your best work. It’s important to step away from time to time – physically and mentally – so that you can return refreshed, energized. In fact, schedule three trips for the future. Each time you take one, add on another so that you always have something wonderful to anticipate.”

Look at your calendar and request your next time off. It can be a long weekend getaway, or even to play tourist in your own city or town.

The idea of not taking vacation because you don’t want to deal with coming back to a lot of work is a devastatingly unhealthy conversation with yourself. You deserve more. Don’t settle for that rationale.

Now go book an adventure somewhere, and use some strategies to come back to the office successfully.

Then report back. I want to know your tips and tricks – about your travels and your return.

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Develop Your Team While Away on Vacation

You can develop your team when you are away on vacation. That sounds like a dream, right? A magic pill that you would most definitely purchase if it existed, yeah?

Well luckily, you don’t need a pill. It boils down to the conversations.

As a leader, you need to take time off and recharge. This is necessary for your wellbeing as well as your team’s. A past Fierce Study revealed that more than 58 percent of respondents indicated that they received no stress relief from vacations. The goal of vacation is to enjoy and feel refreshed when you return. And your ability to relax and decompress is dependent on you, not the vacation itself.

Surprising or not – there are currently responsibilities on your plate that your team members want to own. This should make you jump for joy When your team members develop, your team develops, and you do as well. Vacation is a great time to give high performers on your team more responsibility.

When I was preparing for my vacation in France this month, I met with each of my team leads to:

Clarify what must get accomplished in that timeframe.Ask questions around the support needed. Make a plan if it is not clear for the individual.Give clear direction for levels of decision-making. We use our Decision Tree model to share whether it is root, trunk, or leaf level. Be clear on who can provide support or approval if they do not have a high decision-making level.

This structure helped everyone feel more grounded before my departure, including me. Given that, this week’s tip is to create a plan to develop your team when you are away on vacation, even if it is for a long weekend. Set up clear expectations, so that you feel comfortable when you disconnect, and you are truly able to disconnect.

Then take a deep breath and play when you are away. You must have trust in your team. And if you do not, that is something you need to explore more deeply.

If you take the steps to properly prepare for vacation, your team will be developing, and you will come back refreshed and renewed. That’s a win-win.

I shared my simple structure above. What else have you seen work for preparing everyone for vacation time, as the leader or a team member?

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Friday Resource: Why don’t Americans take more time off?

This week’s Friday Resource was originally published by Fortune and questions why Americans do not take more time off from work.

The American workforce leaves approximately 429 million paid vacation days on the table every single year. This begs the question – why do Americans feel that they cannot take time off?

This is paid time off that employees deserve and have worked hard for – so why do we collectively feel so guilty taking the time off? According to a 2015 study by The Creative Group, 40% of executives believe employees would be more effective if they took more of their vacation days with only 9% believing there would be a decrease in productivity in their absence.

One of the leading reasons Americans abstain from taking their much needed vacation days is the fear of returning to thousands of emails and unhappy clients or coworkers. This is an ill-conceived notion. Your coworkers, boss and clients all understand your need to take time off and recharge, because it benefits the company as a whole.

It is important for managers and organizational leaders to emphasize the importance of taking these much needed breaks for the overall health and effectiveness of their employees. The best way to accomplish this? Lead by example. Take all your vacation days and come back refreshed and your team will follow your lead.

Read the article

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How to take a vacation

Congratulations. You are gainfully employed. The primary focus of your organization is growth, and you have some knee-buckling goals to deliver. If you fail, darkness will cover the earth, the stock value will plummet and chaos will reign. Meanwhile, a talented colleague is vying for your job.

And you could sure use a vacation!

Hence, a few suggestions:

Take one. Dammit! When your body and brain are running on fumes, you can’t do your best work. It’s important to step away from time to time – physically and mentally – so that you can return refreshed, energized. In fact, schedule three trips for the future. Each time you take one, add on another so that you always have something wonderful to anticipate.Check the dates with your boss and then put them on your calendar for all to see. Don’t cancel or reschedule your vacation just because others’ priorities end up competing with yours. What you want and need is as important as what others want and need.Save up for your vacation. Every time you’re tempted to buy something, think about the adventure you could have instead. It is possible to admire things without needing to own them. Value making memories over acquiring possessions. Let experiences be more important than things. A new car or a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s won’t change your life. Time spent in the Masai Mara will.Get out of the usual vacation rut. If you always go to Hawaii, go to Iceland. Exchange run-of-the-mill escapades on mediocre beaches, cruise ships or hotels for something rare. Leave your golf clubs at home. Take cooking lessons. Walk in the Swiss Alps. Stay in a tree house, a lighthouse, a cozy mountain lodge, a rolling hut in Washington’s Methow Valley. A change of scene will expand your thinking, expand the possibilities for your life and your career. New vistas will help reprioritize your life, shift your perspective about what this precious thing called – your life – wants and needs to be about.Travel light. Don’t fill your suitcase with all the clothes you might need in case… Don’t fill it with touristy trinkets.  Unless you are an avid collector, you don’t need a snow dome with the Eiffel Tower or a Keep Calm and Carry On coffee mug. Look for one thing to bring home, that one piece that will give you pleasure and bring back memories every time you look at it, like the mortar and pestle you find in the I’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue Sunday market. It may weigh a ton, but it will be worth lugging it home.

Read the rest of the article in my Huffington Post column.

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Break Down a Silo

The word silo comes from a farm storage silo – a tall airtight container with no windows. In many organizations that is exactly what a silo feels like, and often silos are competing for limited resources.

According to a Clear Company survey, 86% of employees and executives cite lack of collaboration or ineffective communication for workplace failures. Does this surprise you? We know from the work we do at Fierce that this is true. One of our clients shared that if they could quantify the biggest line item on the loss side of their P&L statement, it would be miscommunication.

So why do we stay in our boxes/silos/bubbles? Well, it is less work. It is more comfortable. I love the quote from Brené Brown, “You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.”

Leaders (with or without the titles) today who have the most influence are able to create alignment and cohesion between different departments, collaborate often, and therefore, they have greater success. This week’s tip is to intentionally break down a silo by having a conversation with someone on a team you normally do not work with.

Schedule a coffee. Invite someone new into a meeting. Ask someone for a quick stand-up meeting on an issue you are wrestling with.

We all need some air – figuratively and literally – from our silos. Go ahead and break them down, baby!  It starts with a conversation.

 

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Friday Resource: 7 Mistakes Most First-Time Managers Make at Least Once

This week’s Friday Resource was originally published by The Muse and explores common pitfalls of the first-time manager.

Transitioning into a new role as a rookie manager is no easy feat. Although the promotion was due to your hard work and accomplishments on the job, your role has changed dramatically. The days of relying solely on yourself to get the job done are gone – as a manager you need to ensure you are providing your team with the resources they need to complete their jobs. Success is now measured by what your team can accomplish and requires consistent coaching, supervising, and guidance.

Oftentimes, one of the hardest habits to break is to get out of the weeds and look at the big picture. As a manager, you are in charge of guiding your team or department towards long-term goals. Part of that is letting go of the tiny details and trusting your team to accomplish their individual goals (don’t become a micromanager – no one likes that).

Getting into the cadence of a managerial role can take some time to perfect – however it is important to make sure that you do not wait too long to get your hands dirty. You are now responsible for making decisions that affect a whole team of people, so it is important to not hold back and to make the most of your opportunity from the beginning.

First-time mangers, it is up to you to avoid these common pitfalls and continue working towards becoming the manager you strive to be.  

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