Susan Scott's Blog, page 27

How to Improve Diversity and Inclusion in the Workplace with Better Communication

The topic of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I) is top of mind everywhere – rightfully and necessarily so. Yet, we continue to blatantly struggle to make progress or experience any measurable, impactful change.

We see the impact of Black Lives Matter and, simultaneously, watch police shootings continue. We talk of wage gaps, even show statistics of improvement, yet they still exist. We pass legislation that protects and supports same-sex couples but know that bias and discrimination remain rife. Why?

Though there are many reasons, one of them – quite simply – is this: we avoid conversations that make us uncomfortable. We’re afraid we’ll mess up, that we’ll say the wrong thing, that our lack of awareness or understanding will show up, or even worse, that our privilege or apathy (or both) might be revealed.

So, instead of diving in and making a mistake, we too often step back and stay silent. Many of us ask ourselves how we’ve become unwitting witnesses to a world that seems to decline and devolve.

Most of us want to do better, want to affect change, and want to courageously speak up and speak out. Most of us want to be people who know, as well, when to sit down and be quiet so that others have space and voice. Most of us want to live in a world – and work in organizations – that is inclusive, respectful, and profoundly diverse.

How to Have Real Diversity and Inclusion Conversations

So, what are we to do…those of us who desperately long for change?

Simple, but hardly easy, we must have the conversations we’ve been avoiding – the ones we are afraid of. We allow and acknowledge our discomfort. And we persist anyway.

In her book, So You Want To Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo says, “These conversations will never become easy, but they will become easier. They will never be painless, but they can lessen future pain. They will never be risk-free, but they will always be worth it.”

At Fierce, we would not call ourselves DE&I experts. But we are conversation experts. We know the cost of failed conversations, of missing ones.

We know about the elephants in the room: the things that everyone knows, but no one will talk about (DE&I being one of the biggest elephants ever). We know about the reality of gradually-then-suddenly – the way that seemingly small things have a way of building and accumulating, often unnoticed, until the scale tips and everything falls apart.

We know that every one of our relationship issues are, at the end of the day, conversational issues – or the lack thereof. Relationships can be defined and diagnosed by the conversations that take place – or don’t. And we know that without practical, applicable conversation skills, little-to-nothing ever changes.

We also know that conversations do not need to be perfect to be effective. They just need to be had – with courage, curiosity, grace, and some modicum of skill.

Though we fear conversations going badly, it’s the ones we avoid completely that cause the greatest harm, loss, and pain. Which, of course, is what we’re living in the midst of today: centuries of avoided conversations, missing ones.

Why Authentic Diversity and Inclusion Communication Matters

Leaning into our deep and abiding relief in the power of single conversations, we allow that they may never be easy, but that solutions, at least in part, can be simple – starting with each of us, even now, especially now.

We must be willing to talk, even more, to listen. We must be willing to try, even more, to fail. We must be willing to do more than watch from the sidelines feeling helpless and incapable. Instead, we must risk – one conversation at a time.

It has always been true but perhaps now, more than ever, conversations matter. And in ways that are critical to who we are and the relationships we have with one another as humans on this planet. Being fierce feels far more than aspirational today; it’s required.

Let’s do the work. Let’s risk feeling foolish. Let’s be willing to make mistakes. Let’s have the conversations…not avoid them.

This is how we’ll experience change. This is how we’ll turn the tide. This is how we can be part of DE&I discussions, initiatives, training programs, and most of all, individual conversations and relationships that deserve our effort and even our failings.

There’s so much more to be said about this topic – so much more that is ours to say – one conversation at a time. It can feel daunting, to be sure. This is why I’m profoundly grateful for Ijeoma Oluo’s voice yet again: “We can find our way to each other. We can find a way to our truths. I have seen it happen. My life is a testament to it. And it all starts with conversations.






















VIRTUAL DE&I KEYNOTE WITH KARITH FOSTER

Inspire your team to think differently, gain the confidence to have difficult conversations, and create a culture of fierce belonging with this virtual keynote.

Learn more >

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How to Tell If Your Workplace Has a Communication Problem

Have you ever stopped yourself to wonder if your company has a communication problem?

Like many people, my siblings and I often text each other and our 81-year-old mother in a group message. What makes this interesting is when our mother relies on voice-to-text to send us messages, due to her poor eyesight. She assumes that her phone has a clear understanding of what she is saying and simply hits “send” without proofreading her message. 

For anyone who has attempted this or has auto-fill/correct on their phone, you likely understand the importance of proofreading messages before sending them. What often follows is a steady stream of texts, with each of us attempting to “translate” what we think our mother said. 

About 40ish messages later, we’ve stopped laughing and the conversation moves on. Sound familiar at all? It’s yet another take on the classic “telephone game”.

The Problem With Workplace Communication

Unfortunately, this very scenario (minus the laughter common amongst siblings) is what often plays out in the corporate environment. A conversation held in a meeting is relayed to others, an email is sent, a notice is posted, and everyone is left to their own interpretation of what was really said.

Or worse yet, a question is asked, no one speaks up, or everyone nods in agreement with the one comment offered, and the leader leaves thinking “we’re all on the same page.” Then they wonder why there is confusion, frustration, lack of direction, and results? Again, sound familiar?

How about feedback. Is it something that is openly offered and asked for? Is it something that you only receive once or twice a year, usually at performance reviews? 

Is most of the feedback you give and receive done at the water cooler (the actual one or the virtual one)? If feedback is not something that is actively shared on a day to day basis, then you know you have a communication problem.

What’s even more frustrating is that this is not something new. Communication problems are not a byproduct of all the immediate changes corporate America had to adapt due to COVID-19. 

This business problem is something that has been plaguing workplaces for as long as there have been workplaces. So how do you fix this? 

Ways to Uncover Workplace Communication Issues

Well, one could take the Thomas Jefferson approach. Legend has it that when they were building the University of Virginia, Jefferson would sit atop Monticello with a telescope in hand and watch the goings-on. When he spotted something that needed changing, he would send one of his hired hands down to the workers with instructions. 

While this ensured clear lines of communication, it was extremely expensive and time-consuming. It’s very likely this is where the term micromanaging originated!

So how do we do it? How do we verify whether there, in fact, is a communication problem? Several different tools have been used, each with positive and negative results. Let’s look at a few of these:

1. Town Halls

This is typically where a top leader addresses a large assembly of workers to update them on the goings-on of the company. Following this update, the leader opens things up to questions from the floor. This is great in theory – IF the organization already has a culture of open communication up and down throughout the company.

2. Anonymous Suggestion Boxes

I’ll stop at the “anonymous” part. If your communication needs to be anonymous, then you have your answer!

3. Employee Engagement Surveys

While these have proven to be effective, you need to spend the time to understand what’s going on and why. 

You need to be analyzing the subjective comments, holding focus groups, summarizing the findings, assigning action items to cross-functional groups and more, all with the hopes that you can quickly employ solutions before the next survey, or before the world presents the next big challenge to your organization.

The Best Way to Solve Workplace Communication Problems

Many have uttered, in frustration, “There has to be a better way!” And they’re right. How about starting with an assessment? If you think about it, most areas where you are attempting to improve begin with an assessment. 

The yearly physical with your doctor begins with a health assessment. Fitness programs start with a fitness assessment, so you know which exercises and specific weights to begin with. 

Most cognitive and behavioral programs begin with an assessment, and so on. So, why shouldn’t the evaluation of your company communication begin with one?

Now let me be clear, the assessment is the beginning, NOT the answer. It can give you valuable insights into strengths, gaps, and where to focus your attention. The findings help to shed light on opportunity areas that you weren’t aware of -like the corporate telephone game. 

What I often see in organizations, and this gets exaggerated the larger the organization is, is the farther down the “food chain” one is, the bigger the gap in effective communication. Why is this? Shouldn’t all of us be on the same page? Shouldn’t we all know where we are going and how we’re going to get there? 

Now I realize there are key strategy pieces and long-term visioning that aren’t practical to share with everyone, especially in publicly traded organizations. That said, the things we all work on in the day-to-day shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

There is certainly no shortage of assessments one can pursue to determine the best fit for their organization. Many organizations are blessed to have talented learning professionals already working for them who can design their own assessments. 

If you are choosing this route, begin with that you want to know, with the end in mind. For example, design your questions to support the notion that your organization is exceptional in this area (My leader regularly updates me on ___, I have a clear understanding of my role, our objectives, I receive regular feedback…) and more. The results will show you where you need to focus your efforts.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Fierce offers two assessments, a Fierce Factor Assessment for individuals, to see where the communication they are having in their head is helping or hurting them, and another for groups (intact teams, departments, or entire organizations). 

Each is a series of questions designed to help in showing how aligned the individual or group actually is. In other words, if there is a large gap in the perspective (or context) of the group, then there is serious work to do in the way the group communicates.

After reviewing the initial results, teams are then instructed to look at each question individually, beginning with the question with the lowest average score. They then lean into the sometimes uncomfortable yet productive conversation around what they can do to improve in this area. 

I’ve yet to see an instance where communication is not improved as a result of this exercise.

So why not do yourself, and everyone else in your organization a favor? Give your communication skills an assessment to see if everyone is on the same page. 

If you find they aren’t, great! Celebrate the fact that NOW you know what needs to be done to avoid the corporate telephone game which almost always results in confusion, frustration, lack of direction, and results.

The post How to Tell If Your Workplace Has a Communication Problem appeared first on Fierce.

How to Reboard Your Employees After COVID-19

Return, reset, reboard – Where to even start. What do leaders need to know about the employee experience when it comes to reboarding employees after the coronavirus pandemic?

People support a world they help create.  Anyone who knows me or has attended one of my training sessions knows that I believe that to my core. From my early days at Delta Airlines, I learned the value of connecting people to each other and to the work, particularly in times of crisis.

That’s why as companies begin to reimagine and redesign work in a COVID-19 world, my advice is that the best decisions are made at the level they’ll be executed, and people don’t argue with their own ideas. The shifting expectations and priorities of today require our best thinking. 

As we redefine the way we work, new rules, tools, processes, and procedures are needed. It’s not uncommon in times like these for leaders to make those decisions behind closed doors for speed and simplicity. Don’t! 

Nearly 70 percent of initiatives fail because of people-related issues, according to Root, Inc. Adding diverse and inclusive viewpoints lead to better decision making and results, one conversation at a time.

What Does Reboarding Look Like?

No matter what you call the return to work phase in this COVID-19 reality, we were curious at Fierce to compare our experiences with those of our client community. We wanted to know what advice they were giving leaders about employee engagement and development in a virtual world.

We framed the conversation around expectations, priorities, and how we spend our time based on Josh Bersin’s article, The Big Reset: Making Sense of the Coronavirus Crisis.

Our thanks to those who generously offered the following experience and advice for reboarding employees after the coronavirus pandemic:

1. Survey for Safety Concerns

With safety as the number one expectation, identifying who returns to a worksite, by when, under what condition requires careful planning, based on guidelines and the most current recommendations. That’s only half the battle. It’s not enough to take their physical temperature, as it’s essential to consider their emotional temperature as well. 

I asked my hairdresser during a recent visit if the business was back to normal. The salon reopened the last week of May following a 12-week shutdown.  

I was surprised by her response that only 45 percent of her client group had returned, and the staff was worried. Despite all the safety precautions, like taking your physical temperature at the door, emotionally, many were not willing to return.

Fear is real, and safety is personal. If your employees don’t think it’s safe, there’s a problem. 

Survey early and often, ask questions and form advisory groups to get everyone involved. Communicating and implementing workplace safety measures is challenging, so inclusion is critical to success.

2. Coach for Clarity

There has never been a more critical time for leaders to coach for clarity and direction. For many, that commute from home to the worksite was a significant transition period, allowing a shift from personal life to professional life.  

Now boundaries are blurred and adjusting to a new routine is stressful and confusing. Add to that, the role of teacher to children now at home or considerate roommate with conflicting work schedules.   

I’ve been working remotely as a Fierce employee for years. You’d think this new reality would be a non-issue for me, yet I’ve struggled. 

Much of my time was spent on the road, delivering classroom training sessions from coast to coast until mid-March. Finding myself at home, doing dishes 365 days a week, and monitoring little faces on the computer screen felt like a bad dream. 

Thank goodness my boss has been patient, flexible, giving me options, and inviting my input every step of the way.  I’m beyond grateful.

3. Assume a Positive Intent  

From the moment David typed his response into the chatbox, people eagerly responded and chimed in. He said, “Even enjoyable changes are still changes and require adjustment.” 

I’ve heard many people site the positive side of our current reality. For example, digital goals are now a digital reality in many organizations, including our own. 

While I’d love to say that a Zoom session is the next best thing to being together in person, I’m not there yet. Like many of my colleagues, I struggled with settings, virtual tools, and prompts. I still do! And I know my situation is far from unique.

The Best Way to Reboard After Major Change 

The good news is that people are so forgiving of those stumbles.  I’ve recognized a particular grace or acceptance that is reassuring, enjoying the intimacy of kids, dogs, and family members that join our sessions.

I read a quote in Harvard Business Review many years ago that sums up these thoughts quite nicely: “Ultimately, a company’s value is just the sum of the decisions it makes and executes.” 

Conversations that reset our expectations, priorities, and how we spend our time will determine our future. So, let’s make the best decisions together, one conversation at a time.

The post How to Reboard Your Employees After COVID-19 appeared first on Fierce.

How to Have a Work-Life Balance While Working Remotely

I’ve been working remotely from my team for the last 7+ years. When this pandemic (and all that came after) began, my team approached me and graciously asked for my perspective for bringing a sense of “normalcy” to remote working so they could make sure they achieved a good work-life balance. 

“You know better than anyone how to navigate this working from home reality, Beth. You do this every day, what can you share? What is a normal day like for you?”

While it makes sense that I would have a relevant perspective on the matter, in my head I was thinking, “Really?  Normal? NONE of this feels normal.” 

It’s not just where we work that has changed. Everything that influences how we show up to work is changing too. We are working remotely during a pandemic while homeschooling our children while fighting for equality while protesting our civil rights while determining the fate of our country, and trying not to lose ourselves or fall apart in the process.  

These times are unprecedented. We are all dealing with far more change than we ever imagined we could, and we are learning as we go.

You’ll see lots of advice out there for how to most effectively work remotely. And while the authors all give really great pointers and tips, it just feels like more change to throw on top of everything else that is already changing. It’s exhausting.

3 Tips to Improve Your Work-Life Balance While Remote Working

So for the sake of us all, and our sanity, I am not going to harp on what you need to do differently (you have enough to think about).  

Instead, I want to remind you of the tools you already have. What behaviors can you pull off the shelf and dust off, not just to survive this current reality, but to intentionally show up in a way that enriches your connection with others?  

1.  Have more and better conversations

I often joke that if quarantine came in a package, it would need a warning label that says (in bold) “conversations sold separately”.  We can’t coast and expect great things. And yet, working remotely is a perfect excuse for shelving real conversation.  

While technology is a great way to make contact with others, more contact is hardly a substitute for the conversations that want and need to take place. And conversation comes best for most of us when we limit distractions. (Not easy in a time when lights, buzzes, dings, and rings rule our lives.) 

It takes hard work and what feels like a deeper and more focused dialogue than ever to keep our relationships with team members, clients, vendors, afloat these days.  

So turn ON your video camera when speaking with others, close down your email inbox, mute your instant messenger, and increase the quality of the time you are spending with each other.  

Talking WITH someone and not at them or through them, can be the difference between simply functioning remotely and actually growing, building, enriching ourselves, our teams, and our work while physically apart from each other.     

2.  Practice empathy

Even if we manage to turn down the volume on all of the distractions, we still need to ensure that our conversations are connecting us at the human level. 

Practicing empathy doesn’t mean you have to set aside your own emotions or feelings, but it does mean you need to make space for the other person to have their emotions too, even if those emotions are different from your own. 

It can be as simple as asking “How are you feeling?” and allowing silence to do the heavy lifting.  Or “How can I support you right now?” 

Sometimes, the most powerful things we can contribute to a conversation are silence and compassion and giving the other person the physical space and time to voice what is going on for them. And really listening.  

3.  Have a conversation with yourself every day

If you must, put it on your calendar, and literally invite yourself to that meeting! Find some quiet time for you to think, reflect, take care of yourself. 

Recognize the vast amount of change that your head and heart are sorting through right now and treat yourself gently. 

Lao Tzu once said, “Silence is a source of great strength.” Don’t believe it? Science actually backs this up. Silence has been shown to improve our health by lowering our blood pressure, boosting our immune system, and even growing new brain cells! 

The only way you will be of service to your team, your family, your customers is to be as whole as you can be. So ask yourself, how am I supporting me?    

That may seem impossible these days and yet, the conversation really does start with you.  How are you prioritizing your health and well-being? 

A friend of mine has permanently taken over her guest room closet for 1 hour each day. She threw a bean bag chair in there, a lava lamp (I kid you not), and posts a sign for her family that states “unless someone is in need of immediate medical attention, this space is off-limits to EVERYone but Mom…see you in an hour.”  

If an hour is too much, start with 10 minutes…work your way up. The important thing is physically carving out time to be with your own thoughts for a dedicated amount of time each and every day.

There is a tremendous amount of change happening to us and around us these days. The one constant is our ability to have and to invite more quality conversations.  

As Robert Frost said, “The best way out is through.” So ask yourself, how can I navigate this new normal through conversation? Deepening the connection with myself and others along the way.

CONVERSATION CHAOS IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Why Feedback is the Key to Successful Remote Working

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Why You Need to Be Using Virtual Microlearning for Leadership Development

The world of leadership development training has been in flux for some time now — even before the global coronavirus pandemic. More and more businesses are demanding scalable learning that can be implemented at lightning speed, is easily digestible, and most importantly, sticks. Microlearning is a powerful way to make that happen.

Here’s its definition: “…a method that uses small moments of learning to drive job performance and employee development…[It] is short and to the point, based on a topic or problem.” 

The brain can only take in so much information before it reaches overload. According to the Cognitive Load Theory proposed by John Sweller, people have a maximum capacity for learning at any one time. It’s like trying to fit two liters of water in a cup. At one point, the cup will overflow and no more water can be contained.

Some might propose getting a bigger cup, but the far better solution is to pour smaller amounts! That’s what microlearning offers. And that is what learners need. 

The Benefits of Microlearning

With everything from elementary school to corporate training now taking place online, our understanding and embracing of microlearning are critical. In truth, it’s always been critical, but in today’s reality, perhaps this is the opportunity to make it our chief focus and highest priority. If we can, if we will, our learners will thank us!

Recent research shows that microlearning improves training engagement by 50 percent, while also enhancing knowledge retention by more than 20 percent. In addition, studies have shown that this quick and easy learning modality means employees are spending up to 40 percent less time in training.

Above and beyond the reality of higher knowledge retention and better learning, is the HUGE benefit of convenience that bite-size learning provides! 

For me, even though I’m no longer in an office, I somehow feel busier than ever while remote working! I move from one Zoom meeting to the next, crank out emails in the in-between moments (or way too early in the morning), and if lucky, find time to grab some food (which usually just means more coffee)! 

The idea of sitting down for two hours of training, though luxurious, wouldn’t work for me right now – no matter how much I might enjoy it. But 15 minutes, or so? A quick “hit” of something that helps me do my job better? Not only is that doable, but I’d actually look forward to the respite, the encouragement, and time that’s just for me!

I’m hardly alone in this. Our world is moving faster and faster, despite the forced-slowing of COVID-19. Business leaders recognize just how precious people’s time actually is.

Providing employees the most potent benefit in the shortest amount of time is not only desired but practical, especially during this pandemic. 

Though often bundled into “soft-skills,” microlearning is anything but. It’s pithy and practical. It allows us to target training to address extremely specific and timely situations. Examples we have been working on at Fierce include how to have conversations about the coronavirus mask debate, diversity and inclusion, dealing with remote working, and SO much more. 

Bite-size learning allows us to provide what’s most needed in the moment and it doesn’t take more than a few moments to absorb! This is exactly why we’re incorporating this into our own training offerings. 

We are proud of our content, our training, our facilitators, and the way in which we create in-person (even virtual) experiences that are vibrant, robust, and memorable. When we made the decision to provide that same content with no facilitator or trainer at all – completely self-paced and self-led – we wondered about its efficacy, its “stickiness,” and its impact.

The Future of Bite-Size Learning

The result? We didn’t need to worry nearly as much as we did! Leaning on brain science and trusting our learners, we’ve watched microlearning work its magic. Nothing has been compromised and, in fact, much has been gained as we can now offer our content to countless more people with no instructor required to convey the message or cement the learning.

We then pushed the bite-size learning envelope even further with 3D Simulations – a new way to train using virtual, real-world short scenarios that can be completely customized to address any problem no matter how complicated. Seeing this as the future of microlearning, we asked ourselves, “Can we create short and highly interactive scenarios that allow users to experience both the pluses and the minuses of particular conversational choices?” 

More microlearning magic, to be sure! In under 15 minutes, learners are immersed in a familiar scene (their workplace, a storefront, the nurse’s station at a hospital) and given opportunity to practice the very conversations they either avoid or fear will fail – all with complete psychological safety, real-world visuals, immediate feedback, and amazing opportunity to learn through experience.

In a world pulled to disparate extremes, riddled with tension and conflict, and experiencing more distance between humans than ever before, we need training on how to have conversations that enrich relationships. 

We need training on how to have conversations that get results. We need training on how to not avoid the conversations that most need to take place. And we cannot wait until we’re all back together again or until things settle down. Microlearning is one way in which we can enable critical training now – without compromising content or quality. 

Those of us in the learning and development space are committed to helping people learn. It’s a worthy effort. How might our learners be better served if, in addition, we were committed to adapting to how we train? 

Instead of pouring way too much water in the cup, organizations can acknowledge capacity and utilize new, exciting training opportunities to offer just the right amount at just the right time and in just the right way.

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How to Effectively Manage Zoom Meeting Burnout

Zoom meeting burnout is real — but it doesn’t have to be.

As a Fierce Master Facilitator (and a raging extrovert) my favorite thing to do was be in the classroom — face-to-face with my learners. I loved picking up on the nuances, the smiles, and nods that told me I was resonating with the group. Frowns or slight head tilts that told me I needed to have more clarity or deeper discussion. When COVID-19 made it apparent that in-person training wasn’t going to happen, I was devastated and yet, I had a ‘the show-must-go-on’ mentality.

Since the start of forced social distancing and working from home, I’ve read the articles(like this one) and heard the phrase ‘Zoom Meeting Burnout’ countless times. I can pinpoint the exact moment this happened to me. 

Simultaneously, it was the moment I realized Zoom meeting burnout didn’t have to be my reality. I’ll set the stage for you: I had just finished an 8-hour virtual training for a client. Well, let me rephrase… I had just woken up from a crash nap after an eight-hour virtual training for a client.

Eight. Hours.

Clearly and rightfully so I was exhausted. I made quite a few mistakes during that eight-hour (mistake #1) training, however, my biggest mistake was that I treated it *just* like an in-person classroom. 

I was so concerned with showing up a certain way…showing up the ‘right’ way.

My attention was on me — making sure my virtual background was professional, locking my dog in the bedroom, and telling my partner the exact timing of when they could use the microwave. I was stiff, I was distracted, and I was exhausted. 

After my nap, I realized that if I were going to succeed in this virtual world, and if I were going to allow others to find value in training, something had to change.. quickly.

To find the solution to managing this zoom burnout, all I needed to do was look at the definition of a Fierce Conversation. A Fierce conversation is defined as “a conversation in which we come out from behind ourselves, into the conversation, and make it real.”

I believe that, in this virtual remote-working world, people are being more ‘real’ than ever – but only when we let them. Your employees, your staff, your team, they need to feel encouraged to be ‘real’. 

Steps to Avoid Zoom Meeting Burnout

So, how do we become ‘real’ during Zoom meetings or training? Well, It’s as simple as ABC:

A: Acknowledge Distractions

Since our global shutdown, I’ve started every virtual training welcoming my participants into my home: a 600-square-foot apartment in the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle. I let them know immediately what distractions they can expect: I have a partner who might make their way in frame and a 7-year-old border collie named Levi who might squeak some toys or pop his head in camera view (if they’re lucky). 

Then, I encourage my learners to welcome me into their homes, asking them to turn on their cameras if they are able. I let them know that I understand they might have some distractions as well and that is okay. Now they feel able to be real — and that is what I’ve wanted this entire time.

B: Brain Breaks are a MUST

For long trainings or meetings, every hour, at the minimum, give your meeting participants a break! When they come back, ask them, “How did you spend your break?” “What did you do?”

There was a client of ours who I was working with for 2.5 hours a day over the span of 4 days and I LOVED knowing what they did on their breaks. The funny thing is, they loved telling me! 

I found out what lunches they were eating, what podcasts they were listening to, what beverages were being consumed (I promised I wouldn’t tell), which kids needed their hair braided, and which pets needed to go potty. 

The best thing about this is that I learned what was important to them. Often, my learners had 10 minutes or less to do whatever they wanted or needed. If you find out what your people are doing in those 10 minutes, you can deduce quite a bit about what’s front of mind for them, where their attention is, and what’s important when we aren’t on screen.

C: Connect Quickly

While having a company-wide virtual Zoom call is necessary for business, group breakouts of 4 to 5 people are needed for connection. A 5-minute small breakout group at the beginning of your meeting will create deeper connections and buy-in throughout the remainder of the meeting/call/training/etc.  

Imagine how different your meetings would be if, within the first 5 minutes, everyone has contributed to the conversation. When I do this, I love seeing the smiling faces when I bring them back from their breakout groups. The energy is markedly different and now they’re willing to engage, they’re reconnected with their friends and colleagues and that connection reinvests them in the meeting.

It’s Time to Embrace Our ‘Real’ Selves While Remote Working

There you have it: the ABC’s of effective Zoom meetings. How do I know it works? Well, since the start of COVID-19, I’ve facilitated over 100 hours of virtual trainings. You name it, I’ve seen it. Noisy neighbors, crying children, curious roommates, playful pets, hungry partners – and that’s just the living distractions! 

We have messy bookshelves and dying plants, gurgling coffee pots and questionable camera angles — the list goes on and on. I’m here to tell you that whatever your background looks like and sounds like, it is OKAY. Because while some suggest our work and home lives are blurred — I’m suggesting they’re actually blended. No, really! It’s like someone took our lives and put them in a blender. 

We can no longer use our commute to transition between work and home or close our office doors when we need a quiet space to work on a project. We don’t have the time (or the energy) to ‘flip the work switch’ or ‘get into parent mode’. I also think this is a good thing. 

Because of our current climate, we’re being forced to remove the ‘masks’ that we’ve had to wear our entire lives. Our ‘real’ selves are coming through our computer integrated web camera’s and it’s time we embrace this, it’s time we embrace and encourage being real.

CONVERSATION CHAOS IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Why Feedback is the Key to Successful Remote Working

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Conversation Chaos in the Digital Age

Why Feedback is the Key to Successful Remote Working

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How to Take Care of Your Mental Health During Times of Crisis

As we continue to deal with COVID-19, we are simultaneously experiencing the tumult, outrage, and heartache associated with racism. No matter where we sit on the spectrum of emotions, it is impossible to be unaffected. Because the topics at hand are emotional and highly-flammable, our responses to such are, as well.

Without the ability, willingness, and courage to sift and sort through the myriad of things going on in our heads and hearts, we suffer. Our mental and emotional health suffers. Our work, our health, our relationships, and our world suffers.

A recent article by the Harvard Business Review provides data:

“Since the outbreak of the pandemic, 75 percent of people say they feel more socially isolated, 67 percent of people report higher stress, 57 percent are feeling great anxiety, and 53 percent say they feel more emotionally exhausted.

It’s worth noting that these stats are related to the pandemic alone, not the larger complexities within which we’re living. It’s also worth noting that though we see words like “socially isolated,” “stress,” “anxiety,” and “emotionally exhausted,” many of us do not know what words to use to describe all that we’re feeling. And even if we do, we’re often loathed to speak them out loud.

Talking about our emotions, for many of us, is not a skill we’ve learned, nor has it been affirmed, even allowed – especially in the workplace. That gap, the empty space between what we feel and what we actually say in conversations and relationships, is in large part, what drives a lack of mental and emotional health.

I’m very familiar with that gap, believe me.

I was 40 when I entered grad school. Part of the program requirements included that I should be in therapy – a brand new experience for me!

Those 50-minute sessions over 3 years were the first times I’d ever listened to myself talk (outside of the chatter in my head or conversations with close friends). The first time I’d heard myself name out loud to anyone other than myself where, how, and why I was feeling pain. The first time I was really listened to with that level of intensity, even intimacy. It was transformational. And it was incredibly difficult. It still is.

Now I work at Fierce Conversations – an organization that trains others on how to have conversations that matter, that make an impact, that create and strengthen relationships that not only drive results but enhance all of life. Over and over we talk about emotions – why they matter, must be named, and how effective leadership depends upon such. This still is not easy – for us or our clients.

We’re not alone. Another article from Harvard Business Review says, “We hide emotions in an attempt to stay in control, look strong, and keep things at arm’s length. But in reality, doing so diminishes our control and weakens our capacity to lead – because it hamstrings us. We end up not saying what we mean or meaning what we say. We beat around the bush. And that never connects, compels, or communicates powerfully.”

We can do better.

Talking (out loud) about our own emotions and encouraging/allowing the same in those around us is a skill we must build and a priority we must hold.

We must create and sustain work (and family) cultures that value, even expect that people will name their concerns, anxiety, and fears just as easily as their delight, celebration, and joy.

If all we did was look at this through an ROI lens, we’d reach the same conclusion. A case study published by Forbes makes the following point:

“Evidence shows that investing in employee well-being can deliver bottom-line returns. And when companies approach well-being as a core business strategy, and not solely to lower employer healthcare costs, it can lead to measurable ROI through higher engagement, lower turnover, and better productivity.”

Did I mention that none of this is easy? Do I need to mention that the absence of this: is our denial or refusal of expressed feelings (and opinions, beliefs, thoughts), is at least in part, responsible for the trauma and pain we’re living in daily?

Because we’ve not allowed for and invited others’ articulated experiences and emotions, the gap has gotten wider and wider. Safety has been sucked out of far too many conversational contexts, and every kind of health – not just emotional and mental – is up for grabs: social, financial, organizational, cultural, environmental, global…the list goes on.

Steps to Take Care of Your Mental Health

No, not one bit of this is easy. But there are small, actionable steps we can take.

1. Be aware of your own emotions.

You have them, whether you talk about them, or not. What if you did? What are they? What, exactly, do you feel? When you feel these things, how does that impact your behavior – and subsequent results? Where and with whom can you name this without risk? As leaders, we cannot expect to create a safe space for others’ emotions (or emotional health) if we’re not aware of our own.

2. Ask about others’ emotions.

No agenda. No fixing. No talk of silver-linings. Simple questions asked genuinely go a long way: “What’s going on for you?” “How are you, really?” “When you consider those potential outcomes, what do you feel?” Then wait. Breathe through your own discomfort with the silence. Listen. And trust that if asked – with sincerity, consistency, and compassion – people will respond.

It takes consistency and commitment to have healthy interactions – let alone be healthy people. But to deny any of it is to our peril – individually and collectively.

Have healthy conversations with yourself. Have healthy conversations with others. Talk about health – emotional, mental, and any other forms! All of it defined by curiosity, openness, and grace.

A quote we repeat time and again at Fierce serves as mantra and motivation: “Though no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship, or a life [even the world]…any single conversation can.”

Some “trajectory changing” is what we most desperately need today – at work, at home, as a nation, as a planet.

Single conversations are what enable and empower all of this; single conversations that acknowledge, allow for, and invite (out loud) emotions – and emotional health. Simple, not easy. And truly, non-negotiable. One conversation at a time.

Tags: #change management, #company culture, #mental health

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BEING UNCOMFORTABLE: THE CHOICE TO MAKE WHEN THE WORLD IS HURTING

“We’ll make things better by seeing, by speaking, by doing the work. Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.” ~ Seth Godin

This quote is profound, written in response to what we’re experiencing these days: Amy Cooper, George Floyd, protests, riots, and looting.

And it’s true.

True, but not easy.

Though “easy” isn’t the goal, it is, most often, our inclination. We search for easy answers and the easy way out. When things are complicated, difficult, and rife with misunderstanding, we desperately long for a quick-and-easy fix.

There is no “easy” to be found, nor is longing for such an appropriate use of our energy, our focus, or our time. Not now. Not ever.

Seeing is what we must do.

Speaking is required.

Doing the work is non-negotiable.

Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

At Fierce, we are quick to acknowledge that we do not sit in a position of authority on any of our world’s current pain points. We do not have answers. We definitely do not have a quick-and-easy fix. What we do have is questions, grief, confusion, and a deep desire for change, for rekindled hope, for healing.

Toward those ends, we are having conversations: with each other about what we think, what we feel, what we sense, what we know – and mostly what we don’t know. Not easy. Not perfectly or even consistently. Often uncomfortable.

We are clear: conversation is the only thing that offers the possibility of much-needed change. Not conversation to prove ourselves right — conversation that provokes learning, that invites curiosity, that is for the sake of understanding above all else.

One of the primary ideas we live by is that the conversation is the relationship. It’s simple math, really. What we put into our conversations equals the kind of relationship we experience.

If I put honesty, authenticity, and courage into my conversations, I will have relationships defined by the same. If I withhold what I’m really thinking and feeling, chances are high the people around me are doing the same. The conversation stops. The relationship does, as well.

And isn’t that what we’re seeing and experiencing around us today? An accumulation of failed or missing conversations. A breaking down of relationships of social constructs and contracts, of rules, of expectations, even of hope.

What would have been different if Amy Cooper had a conversation instead of spouting accusations and threats?

What would have been different if Officer Derek Chauvin had a conversation with George Floyd instead of using a murderous force?

What would be different if protestors, rioters, and looters were actually heard, listened to, and given voice in conversation, by those they are reacting to?

And what would be different in our workplaces, our homes, our relationships with co-workers, supervisors, leaders, direct-reports, kids, partners, siblings, parents, friends if we had the conversations needed instead of avoiding them? Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

We have so much work to do – collectively and individually, as a planet and as humans.

Conversations are that work.

And conversations are work. They take practice and skill and intentionality. We can choose to apply such…or not. But let’s be honest: “not” really isn’t an option. Ever. Certainly not now.

Seth Godin’s words bear repeating – again and again: We’ll make things better by seeing, by speaking, by doing the work. Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

May it be so.

Often, at the end of blog posts, we offer specific steps or to-do’s that will enable action. To do so, in this context, feels counter-intuitive, even wrong. Our “answers” are not the ones that matter. Stated even more clearly, “answers” aren’t the answer, either – no matter where they come from. Questions (and conversations) might be a far better choice…certainly more gracious, vulnerable, and transparent.

What are the questions we need to ask ourselves? What are the conversations we’re avoiding because we don’t want to hear others’ answers? And what are the relationships that are suffering, if not flailing, because we’re not willing to risk, to try, to speak, to do the work…to have the conversations that want and need to be had?

Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

Tags: #fierce-news

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This is Why Emotions Belongs in the Workplace

In every Fierce workshop I facilitate or keynote I give, there is at least one point in time (and usually more) when I talk about emotions — why they matter, why we need to allow for them, and why they must be acknowledged and named. And every time I do so, the hands go up like defense attorneys immediately saying, “Your Honor, I object!” Here’s a quick synopsis of what I hear:

“Why do I have to name my emotions? Isn’t it better for me to remain objective and UNemotional?”
“Why do I have to ask the other person what they feel? Isn’t that stepping over the line and too personal?”
“What if I ask and their emotions are out of control? What am I supposed to do then?”
“We make a point of separating emotions from the workplace. After all, we’re here to work, nothing else. They’re not appropriate and only cause problems.”

I have “answers” for all of these. But before I provide a single one, let’s hear what a few other experts have to say: “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”  – Daniel Goleman “The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.” – John Mayer and Peter Salovey Here’s the bottom line: emotions matter! They’re a non-negotiable “truth” about you and everyone you know. Emotional intelligence is critical to our success (at work and, quite frankly, as a human being). Our ability to effectively acknowledge and include emotion in our conversations and relationships will vastly increase our effectiveness and overall quality of life. Case closed, right? Hardly. But faced with all this data, this research, this evidence, why do we continue to argue anything different? The easy answer? Emotions are messy. To stay in an objective, black and white realm, sans emotions, makes everything (seemingly) simpler, cleaner, and clear-cut. But for me, when I’m more reflective, more honest, far more of my world is gray. People are not objective, including me. Each of us — and the circumstances in which we find ourselves — are far more complex, far more layered, and far more nuanced than we often prefer to believe. If I’m even more reflective, more honest, I can also admit that I’m deeply grateful this is true. A flat, one-dimensional world — at work or at home — is not all that interesting. If you offered me a choice, I’d take the mess and complexity. Every. Single. Time.

What You Risk When You Ignore Emotions

I’m lucky enough to work for an organization that understands all of this and offers training that builds our capacity to live and work in a multi-dimensional world. One filled with far more than just black and white, but every possible hue. Not just sometimes. Not just when it’s convenient. All. The. Time. At Fierce, we know and understand that emotions are the catalyst for positive change. If we do not acknowledge them, even allow and honor them, we risk losing not only our humanity but also our ability to fully connect with those around us. When we resist and/or deny our emotions, we are resisting and denying a part of who we are… not to mention demanding the same of others. This means only the parts of us and others that we deem “acceptable” are actually present in the conversation. You can see the problem with this, yes? It prevents us from being real. If we only allow the part of us that plays peacemaker to take the lead, we force the part of us that is upset with a colleague to take a back seat and keep quiet. When we brush issues under the rug, we are, in effect, brushing a part of ourselves under the rug. Nothing is resolved, we are being “unreal,” and our peacemaker continues to keep the peace. Meanwhile, the part of us that has the capacity to improve the situation is silenced. When we deny or silence the part of us that wants to find a resolution to an issue, we contribute to a “CULTURE OF NICE” or one marked with passive-aggressive behavior. The decision to resist or deny our feelings (as if they don’t exist) causes the issues around us to persist and even escalate, creating a severe impact on both our individual and collective success. Unless we’ve connected with — and expressed — both the positive and negative emotions surrounding a potential outcome, we won’t see changes in others’ behavior or our own. Ultimately, our emotions generate every result we achieve — both positive and negative. Said another way: our emotions are at the core of everything. So maybe, just maybe, we would do well to learn how to incorporate and embrace them in ourselves and in every person with whom we relate.

How to Have Emotional Intelligence at Work 

There are SO many ways in which we can learn to do this effectively and consistently. Not surprisingly, this is much of what we advocate for and train at Fierce. Here are a few tips that will hopefully jumpstart your efforts and impact your results:

When you are in a conversation (or anticipating one) that is difficult, ask yourself, “What do I feel right now?” By giving yourself the space to actually name this — even if only internally — you are already being more honest, more authentic, more real. Remember: feelings/emotions drive behavior, behavior drives action, and action drives results. Shorthand: emotions = results!
When you are in conversation with another person, ask them, “What do you feel?” (Not “How do you feel?”) Be genuinely curious. Allow space for their answer. Recognize that you are asking the question on their behalf — not your own. They will benefit by being able to name and acknowledge this for themselves!
When you can acknowledge that you are avoiding a particular conversation, situation, or person, ask yourself, “What is it costing me to not say what needs to be said?” Inventory those things out. And then ask yourself, “When I consider those costs, now what do I feel?”
When you are struggling with a co-worker or direct report’s seeming lack of accountability, ask them, “If nothing changes, how will that impact you? Others? The team? The organization?” And then, “When you consider those results, what do you feel?”

I’ll say it again: Emotions drive behavior. Behavior drives action. And action drives results. And those results? They can be good…or not! Here’s a condensed and reliable formula: Emotions = Results.  I’m hopeful I’ve made the case for emotions in the workplace, in life…period! Now, finally, though hopefully not necessary if I’ve done a good job of convincing the jury, I return to where I started: with “answers” to the emotion-resistant questions and statements I often hear in the classroom and which just might apply to you: Why do I have to name my emotions? Isn’t it better for me to remain objective and UNemotional? I think we’ve addressed this, yes? Whether you name the emotions, or not, they’re there. You are NOT objective or UNemotional — it’s not possible. Your fastest growth and the most effective way to not only lead but develop authentic, meaningful relationships, is to acknowledge and name your emotions to be real! Why do I have to ask the other person what they feel? Isn’t that stepping over the line and too personal? The same rules apply: the more you model and invite others’ expression of their emotions, the better their results, and the better the relationship! What if I ask and their emotions are out of control? What am I supposed to do then? First, pay attention to your emotions around their emotions! Second, be aware that when stepping into conversations that are difficult, even confrontational, the other person’s response is to be expected: deny, defend, and/or deflect. When we train our CONFRONT model, we talk about all of this: naming that their response (the one you’re anxious or afraid of) is rarely the issue; it’s when you follow them there with your own responses, reactions, and yes, emotions, that the problems escalate. Take the high road, demonstrate compassion and empathy, and choose curiosity over your demand to be right. We make a point of separating emotions from the workplace. After all, we’re here to work, nothing else. They’re not appropriate and only cause problems. It’s a myth — and a harmful one, at that, to believe (or even remotely infer/require) that emotions not enter the workplace. They’re there, no doubt about it. The question is whether or not we allow them in a way that is constructive vs passive-aggressive, or just plain aggressive. Emotions do not cause problems. They are the key to solving them! As leaders, regardless of title or pay grade, at work or at home, your emotions (and acknowledging/allowing those of others) will make every difference you are hoping for, working for, and driving toward. Increased employee engagement, higher productivity, healthy corporate culture, accountability, strong communication skills, trust, authenticity, integrity…the list goes on and on. So what’s the most important thing you can do right now? Answer one simple question: as you read this post, what did you feel?  Those answers, those emotions, hold all the insight you need. If your feelings happened to border anywhere close to resistance, anxiety, even low-grade fear, they’re valid!  Every emotion you have — when named, acknowledged, and allowed — holds vast wisdom. They are the key to your behavior, your actions, your results, and everything that happens from this point forward. I rest my case. {loadposition blog_inline_10_steps}

Tags: #Cultural Change, #Resistance

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