Diane Chamberlain's Blog - Posts Tagged "drafts"
One Paragraph, Three Drafts
I write many, many drafts as I work on a book. Recently, someone on Facebook asked writers to share different drafts of a single paragraph. I thought this would be an interesting exercise for me to share with you, my blog readers. I want to give credit to the Facebooker who suggested this, but I don't recall who it was, so I hope that person will read this post and step forward. Until then, here are three drafts of the same paragraph of my work-in-progress, currently titled The Lies We Told. We are in Maya's point of view here. I hope that seeing the first draft will encourage those of you who think you have to write something perfectly the first time!
Early Draft:
A guy walked into the restaurant. She noticed him the second he walked in. there was something about him. the way he scanned the restaurant. unsmiling. a flare to his nostrils that reminded her of ___. His eyes came to rest on the two men at the table next to her and Adam's he walked toward the table with a deliberate stride, and she watched him pull a gun from his jacket pocket and before she could scream or duck or even widen her eyes, he'd shot the man at the table in the head. Everyone screamed then. She had a lot of company.
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Middle Draft:
Adam said something to Brent and Rebecca, but I didn't hear him. My gaze was on a man who had just walked into the restaurant. He was dark-haired, wearing a white t-shirt and beige pants and he stood in front of the door, looking from table to table. There was something about him that sent a shiver through me.
He started walking toward us--or at least, I thought he was heading toward us. Then I saw that his gaze--his ice-blue eyes--was on the two men at the table adjacent to ours. Adam said something that must have been funny, because Brent and Rebecca both laughed, but I'd set down my fork and was beginning to tremble, my heart thudding beneath my breastbone.
I knew how quickly these things could happen. He reached behind his back, then whipped his arm out straight, the gun a gray blur, and I saw the small symbol tattooed on his finger as as he pressed the trigger.
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Final Draft:
Adam said something in response, but I didn't hear him. I was watching a man who had just walked into the restaurant. He was Caucasian, dark-haired, wearing a white t-shirt and beige pants, and he stood in front of the door, shifting his gaze quickly from table to table. Something about him sent a shiver through me.
He started walking toward us--or at least, I thought he was heading toward our table. His stride was deliberate, his nostrils flared. Then I saw that his eyes--his ice-blue eyes--were locked on the two men at the table in front of ours. Adam said something that must have been funny, because Brent and Rebecca both laughed, but I'd set down my spoon and was gripping the corner of the table, my heart thudding beneath my breastbone.
I knew better than anyone how quickly these things could happen. He reached behind his back with his right hand, then whipped his arm out straight, the gun a gray blur as it cut through the air, and I saw the tattoo of a black star on his index finger as he pressed the trigger.
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Even as I look at the final draft of this paragraph, I see things I want to change. Imagine 400 pages of this! No wonder I'm so tired. My deadline is next week, so soon I'll have to stop tinkering and send the finished product to my editor. For now, though, I hope you enjoyed this little peek into my world.
Early Draft:
A guy walked into the restaurant. She noticed him the second he walked in. there was something about him. the way he scanned the restaurant. unsmiling. a flare to his nostrils that reminded her of ___. His eyes came to rest on the two men at the table next to her and Adam's he walked toward the table with a deliberate stride, and she watched him pull a gun from his jacket pocket and before she could scream or duck or even widen her eyes, he'd shot the man at the table in the head. Everyone screamed then. She had a lot of company.
--------------
Middle Draft:
Adam said something to Brent and Rebecca, but I didn't hear him. My gaze was on a man who had just walked into the restaurant. He was dark-haired, wearing a white t-shirt and beige pants and he stood in front of the door, looking from table to table. There was something about him that sent a shiver through me.
He started walking toward us--or at least, I thought he was heading toward us. Then I saw that his gaze--his ice-blue eyes--was on the two men at the table adjacent to ours. Adam said something that must have been funny, because Brent and Rebecca both laughed, but I'd set down my fork and was beginning to tremble, my heart thudding beneath my breastbone.
I knew how quickly these things could happen. He reached behind his back, then whipped his arm out straight, the gun a gray blur, and I saw the small symbol tattooed on his finger as as he pressed the trigger.
--------------
Final Draft:
Adam said something in response, but I didn't hear him. I was watching a man who had just walked into the restaurant. He was Caucasian, dark-haired, wearing a white t-shirt and beige pants, and he stood in front of the door, shifting his gaze quickly from table to table. Something about him sent a shiver through me.
He started walking toward us--or at least, I thought he was heading toward our table. His stride was deliberate, his nostrils flared. Then I saw that his eyes--his ice-blue eyes--were locked on the two men at the table in front of ours. Adam said something that must have been funny, because Brent and Rebecca both laughed, but I'd set down my spoon and was gripping the corner of the table, my heart thudding beneath my breastbone.
I knew better than anyone how quickly these things could happen. He reached behind his back with his right hand, then whipped his arm out straight, the gun a gray blur as it cut through the air, and I saw the tattoo of a black star on his index finger as he pressed the trigger.
--------------
Even as I look at the final draft of this paragraph, I see things I want to change. Imagine 400 pages of this! No wonder I'm so tired. My deadline is next week, so soon I'll have to stop tinkering and send the finished product to my editor. For now, though, I hope you enjoyed this little peek into my world.
The Final Draft (sort of)
I'm often asked how many drafts I write when I'm working on a book. The answer: a lot. I finished my next novel, tentatively titled The Lies We Told, last week, and thought I'd show you the stack of drafts the writing generated. In my left hand, of course, I'm holding the nice, neat perfectly formatted and spell-checked version that I sent to my editor. Beneath my elbow are all the previous versions.
I use different color paper for each draft so I can keep them straight. In this stack there's pink, blue, green and yellow, and then I had to start repeating the colors.
So, what happens now? My editor (and my agent) will weigh in with their thoughts on what works and what doesn't in the final draft. By the time I reach the final draft stage, I'm too close to the book to see the forest for the trees, so their input is invaluable. The requested changes from my editor are often things like "Character X's motivation for stealing his mother's false teeth needs to be stronger". My editor's ideas for change invariably make me a) groan and b) want to punch my computer screen. It usually takes me 24 hours to recover from an editor's feedback--and to see the value in it. By then, I'm ready to get back to work.
The one thing I've learned over the course of writing 19 books is that my editor is on my side--or rather, on the side of the book. She wants the book to be every bit as good as I want it to be. There's a tendency, especially among new writers, to see the editor as the enemy. That couldn't be further from the truth. The other thing I've learned is that the editor is nearly always right on the money with her suggestions, no matter how much I hate having to make the revisions.
Here are a couple of examples of changes my editors have recommended in the past:
In my latest release, Secrets She Left Behind, I originally introduced the significant character, Jen, about halfway through the book. My editor, Miranda Indrigo, suggested I introduce Jen much earlier, which made a lot of sense and increased the tension in the earlier part of the book.
In Keeper of the Light, the old lighthouse keeper, Mary Poor, was originally a man. My editor at the time was Karen Solem, who is now an agent, and I will never forget her telling me to "sit down" before she made the particular suggestion to change Caleb Poor to Mary Poor. How I resisted for my usual 24 hours! I knew it would require revamping the entire book. Around hour 20, I realized she was right. I had to create an entirely new character in Mary, and she turned out to be a perfect and very necessary addition to the story.
So now I wait. Soon, I expect to be enduring my 24 hours of agony, followed by the addition of one more draft to the pile. I think I'll use purple this time.
I use different color paper for each draft so I can keep them straight. In this stack there's pink, blue, green and yellow, and then I had to start repeating the colors.
So, what happens now? My editor (and my agent) will weigh in with their thoughts on what works and what doesn't in the final draft. By the time I reach the final draft stage, I'm too close to the book to see the forest for the trees, so their input is invaluable. The requested changes from my editor are often things like "Character X's motivation for stealing his mother's false teeth needs to be stronger". My editor's ideas for change invariably make me a) groan and b) want to punch my computer screen. It usually takes me 24 hours to recover from an editor's feedback--and to see the value in it. By then, I'm ready to get back to work.
The one thing I've learned over the course of writing 19 books is that my editor is on my side--or rather, on the side of the book. She wants the book to be every bit as good as I want it to be. There's a tendency, especially among new writers, to see the editor as the enemy. That couldn't be further from the truth. The other thing I've learned is that the editor is nearly always right on the money with her suggestions, no matter how much I hate having to make the revisions.
Here are a couple of examples of changes my editors have recommended in the past:
In my latest release, Secrets She Left Behind, I originally introduced the significant character, Jen, about halfway through the book. My editor, Miranda Indrigo, suggested I introduce Jen much earlier, which made a lot of sense and increased the tension in the earlier part of the book.
In Keeper of the Light, the old lighthouse keeper, Mary Poor, was originally a man. My editor at the time was Karen Solem, who is now an agent, and I will never forget her telling me to "sit down" before she made the particular suggestion to change Caleb Poor to Mary Poor. How I resisted for my usual 24 hours! I knew it would require revamping the entire book. Around hour 20, I realized she was right. I had to create an entirely new character in Mary, and she turned out to be a perfect and very necessary addition to the story.
So now I wait. Soon, I expect to be enduring my 24 hours of agony, followed by the addition of one more draft to the pile. I think I'll use purple this time.
Embracing Change
The original title for this blog post was “I Give Up,” but when I mentioned that to my significant other, John, he nixed it. He said I’m a positive person who has overcome adversity and embraces change, totally shaming me into taking a different slant on my topic. Until then, I was sounding like quite the curmudgeon in this post. Now, I feel much lighter. At least, I’m trying to feel more like the change-embracing woman John believes me to be.
The first thing I planned to gripe about was grammatical abominations that have become commonplace:
•“Me and Joe went to the movies.”
•Omitting the comma before the conjunction that introduces an independent clause. (Do I own the last copy of Strunk and White?)
•Apostrophes used in plural words. As in “Apostrophe’s used in plural word’s.”
The other day, I heard the BBC World News commentator sign off with “Good day, from me and BBC,” and I decided to give up. Whoops. I mean, to embrace change. As John pointed out to me, English is a dynamic language. Accepting the changes will be so freeing! I’ll let you know how I make out.
Then I planned to discuss my war against the sale of used books. I never did mind the mom-and-pop store on the corner selling my books used, but when gigantic Amazon began pushing used books on the same page as the new books–on the same day those new books were released–I joined my fellow writers in fighting back. It’s a losing battle, and while I rue the loss of income to myself and other authors, I’ve stopped fighting it. Nevertheless, I can’t help but whisper to you, “Do you know where that book has been?”
E-books. “I will never read an e-book.” I’m sure I said that as recently as last year, proclaiming, “I need the feel of paper in my hands.” I now own an e-reader and I love it, but not without guilt. Authors make less money on e-books, and I can’t bear to think about what this shift in the way we read will mean to my beloved booksellers. But the times they are a-changin’, and I hope we can all find ways not only to endure what’s happening in the book world, but to actually thrive in spite of it. I have no idea how, but the change-embracing Diane is also an optimist!
Then we have social media. Facebook. Goodreads. Twitter. MySpace. I resisted, wondering what was wrong with all those needy people who befriended strangers. Now, though, I’ve radically embraced this change. Social media rocks. What a fabulous way to keep in touch, not only with my “real” friends and family, but my readers as well.
So how about you? What changes are you resisting? Shall we embrace them together?
The first thing I planned to gripe about was grammatical abominations that have become commonplace:
•“Me and Joe went to the movies.”
•Omitting the comma before the conjunction that introduces an independent clause. (Do I own the last copy of Strunk and White?)
•Apostrophes used in plural words. As in “Apostrophe’s used in plural word’s.”
The other day, I heard the BBC World News commentator sign off with “Good day, from me and BBC,” and I decided to give up. Whoops. I mean, to embrace change. As John pointed out to me, English is a dynamic language. Accepting the changes will be so freeing! I’ll let you know how I make out.
Then I planned to discuss my war against the sale of used books. I never did mind the mom-and-pop store on the corner selling my books used, but when gigantic Amazon began pushing used books on the same page as the new books–on the same day those new books were released–I joined my fellow writers in fighting back. It’s a losing battle, and while I rue the loss of income to myself and other authors, I’ve stopped fighting it. Nevertheless, I can’t help but whisper to you, “Do you know where that book has been?”
E-books. “I will never read an e-book.” I’m sure I said that as recently as last year, proclaiming, “I need the feel of paper in my hands.” I now own an e-reader and I love it, but not without guilt. Authors make less money on e-books, and I can’t bear to think about what this shift in the way we read will mean to my beloved booksellers. But the times they are a-changin’, and I hope we can all find ways not only to endure what’s happening in the book world, but to actually thrive in spite of it. I have no idea how, but the change-embracing Diane is also an optimist!
Then we have social media. Facebook. Goodreads. Twitter. MySpace. I resisted, wondering what was wrong with all those needy people who befriended strangers. Now, though, I’ve radically embraced this change. Social media rocks. What a fabulous way to keep in touch, not only with my “real” friends and family, but my readers as well.
So how about you? What changes are you resisting? Shall we embrace them together?
