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Nancy J. Cohen's Blog: Nancy's Notes from Florida, page 100
September 20, 2012
Blog Tour Begins!
Congrats to Nora-Adrienne and Lisa Rayns who have won their choice of one of my backlist ebook romance titles in my excerpt commenter drawing. Ladies, please let me know your choice of title and email. Find more info here: http://nancyjcohen.com/books/romance/
My Blog Tour is off to a running start. Here is my schedule. Please follow along, leave a comment, share, and tweet. Check out the original topics for each visit. Some offer special giveaways in addition to a drawing from all commenters at the end.
September 21 RELEASE DAY PARTY!
Spot giveaways of backlist titles and bonus prizes on my Blog or Facebook Page for commenters all day Sept. 21 between 8am and 8pm.
Share and Retweet my posts all weekend and comment on my Blog or Facebook Page, and you’ll be entered into a grand prize drawing for a Warrior Prince T-shirt and magnet and a signed copy of “Wicked” Women Whodunit.
Sept. 19, Wednesday, Paranormal Wednesday Blog, http://bit.ly/OEndj0 , Author Interview
Sept. 21, Friday, The Revolving Book, http://therevolvingbook.com
Sept. 22, Saturday, Novel Natterings, http://www.laverneclark.blogspot.com/, Myth as Inspiration
Sept. 23, Sunday, RomCon Blog, http://romconinc.com/index.php, Theme Parks as Setting
Sept. 24, Monday, Coffee Time Romance, http://coffeetimeromance.com/CoffeeThoughts/, Trolls: Good or Bad?
Sept. 27, Thursday, FF&P Blog, http://ffnp.blogspot.com/, Mixing Magic and Modern Times
Sept 29, Saturday, Killer Hobbies, http://killerhobbies.blogspot.com/, Food for Thought
Oct. 3, Wednesday, Smart Girls Love Sci Fi, http://smartgirlsscifi.wordpress.com, What are Vile Vortices?
Oct. 4, Thursday, My World of Dreams, http://jhthomas.blogspot.com/
Oct. 5, Friday, Long and Short Reviews, Author Profile
http://longandshortarchives.blogspot.com/2012/10/interview-nancy-cohen.html
Oct. 8, Monday, Star Crossed Romance, http://www.star-crossedromance.blogspot.com/, Myth and Magic
Oct. 11, Thursday, The Galaxy Express, http://www.thegalaxyexpress.net, Author Interview
Oct. 17, Wednesday, The Self-Rescue Princess, http://theselfrescueprincess.wordpress.com/
Oct. 30, Tuesday, Romance Promo Central, http://romancepromocentral.com/, Halloween Spotlight: Monsters in Norse Myths
All commenters during Nancy’s blog tour will be entered into a grand prize drawing for a
Warrior Prince
T-shirt and magnet and a pdf copy of Warrior Prince. Winner will be announced on Halloween.
September 19, 2012
Garlic Shrimp Skewers
GARLIC SHRIMP SKEWERS
16 large cloves garlic, peeled
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1-2 pounds jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined, tails intact
1/3 cup olive oil
¼ cup tomato sauce
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp fresh basil, chopped
Blanch whole garlic cloves in boiling water for 3 minutes, drain and set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, blend the olive oil, tomato sauce, red wine vinegar, chopped basil, and minced garlic. Add the peeled shrimp and toss to coat. Cover and refrigerate for a half hour or so.
Heat the grill. Remove the shrimp from the bowl and thread them onto wood skewers presoaked in water. Curl shrimp so ends are nearly touching. Pierce the shrimp twice, just above tail and out the opposite side. Alternate with large garlic cloves. (Option: Add grape tomatoes or onion chunks at this stage). Place skewers on oiled grill rack 4-6 inches above the fire, turn frequently, and brush with remaining marinade. Grill for 6-10 minutes until cooked through.
Note: Shrimp skewers can also be finished off or baked/broiled in the oven, again for just a few minutes until cooked through.
Warrior Prince Excerpt Conclusion
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 14 Conclusion
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
Her cheeks flushed as she latched onto his other remark. “Trolleks? Who are they? And what did you mean when you mentioned credits outside?”
He raised an imperious eyebrow. “I wish to offer you a position as our local guide.”
She gazed at him askance. Whoever these guys were, there wasn’t any doubt in her mind that they needed help. Should she accept?
With her track record, it was likely to be the only decent job offer in her future. Her temples throbbed while she debated her response.
Right now, when she could finally search for her birth parents, she didn’t want any roadblocks getting in the way. Was it worth tagging along with Zohar and his gang to earn the cash she needed for her research?
Maybe they were tourists from a backwater country, but that didn’t explain their raid on the log hut or their assault gear. Something more important was at stake here. Hooking up with them, even as their hired guide, could only spell trouble.
“Sorry.” She stood tall, giving Zohar a level glance. “Tempting as your offer is, I have to decline.”
“Wrong answer.” Zohar’s jaw tightened as he reached for her.
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Order Now from The Wild Rose Press
This marks the end of my series of excerpts. I hope you’ve enjoyed these selections and will read more in the story. A prize drawing from all commenters will be held tomorrow and announced on this site. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
My Blog Tour starts today! Please visit me at Paranormal Wednesday http://shondabrock.com/#/blog/4559736266
All commenters during my blog tour will be entered into a grand prize drawing for a
Warrior Prince
T-shirt and magnet and a pdf copy of Warrior Prince. Go to http://nancyjcohen.com/appearances for a complete schedule.
September 18, 2012
Common Writing Mistakes
Recently, I’ve been judging writing contest entries. Below are some of the common problems I have discovered among these manuscripts. Out of several entries, only one passed muster. It was well written, kept my interest, had an interesting “voice” and an intriguing premise. I’d read this book if more was available.
The other submissions, however, were painful to get through. Here are some of the problems I encountered so you can avoid them in your work. I use the pronouns “he” or “she” interchangeably as this advice applies to readers and writers of both genders.
Establish the Setting Up Front
As soon as possible into the story, establish the place, season, and time of day. Remember your Who, What, Why, Where, and When. Try to work these into the opening pages unobtrusively. Example: Crickets chirped their nightly chorus, the music of summer. Or: Late afternoon sunlight glinted off an icicle hanging from the roof. Also, don’t mention a street name or landmark and assume the reader knows where this place is. Be specific and give a location.
Make Your Characters Likeable
Remember to address your character’s goals, motivation, and conflict. If you show her acting in an unfavorable manner, what made her that way? Motivate her behavior so the reader understands where she’s coming from and sees the light at the end of the tunnel with character growth by the book’s end. Give her redeemable qualities so we can like certain aspects of her. If not, the reader won’t care and that’s the death knoll to your story.
This also applies to the anti-hero. What makes him redeemable? Why should I, the reader, care about him? Also, what does your character want? If he wanders aimlessly through life with no particular goals, that makes me as a reader less interested in him. Unless, of course, you give me a reason why he behaves that way. Maybe he lacks confidence in himself because of a past event. Maybe he’s afraid of failure. Knowing this will make me more sympathetic toward him.
Watch Your Use of Bad Language
The occasional curse word may be acceptable for a romance hero who’s a hard ass or for a heroine in the urban fantasy genre or for guy fiction in general, but elsewhere it may raise a reader’s hackles. It can also turn off some readers completely, so this language should be sprinkled in judiciously, if at all. Add it only if it helps to define a character, not because it’s the way you speak or because you believe it makes your protagonist seem tough. Always ask yourself: is this necessary? If not, leave it out. Or deploy a substitute, like “frak” on Battlestar Galactica. If writing sex scenes, consider the subgenre. Certain words that may be acceptable for erotica might be too graphic or crude for readers with more delicate sensibilities, especially those who read romances more for the stories than the love scenes. Remember the old adage: Less is better, especially if you want to expand your readership.
Show, Don’t Tell
To keep the pace flowing, use mostly dialogue and action and minimal exposition. If you have long passages where nothing happens except the protagonist thinks to herself or explains to the reader what happened, the story comes to a dead halt. You want to imbue a sense of immediacy in your story, and that won’t happen unless you involve the reader. Telling me what is going on isn’t nearly as gripping as showing me. Each chapter should start and end with a hook. Again, long meandering passages of narration will not encourage the reader to turn the page and may put her to sleep instead. Also keep in mind that reader attention spans are shorter today. What worked in past prose doesn’t work in this age of technological marvels.
Save Flashbacks for Later
The first chapter is your only chance to grab the reader so she’ll continue your story. If you segue into a flashback, the forward momentum is lost. Who cares what happened in the past? Throw in a line or two in dialogue or introspection to show us and then move on. Or make it part of the story action, like in a confrontation with a friend or a hesitation on the part of the main character to perform some act. Work backstory in with minimal intrusion in your first few chapters. Flashbacks will kill pacing, so again, remove those long passages of remembrances. Only retain what is necessary to explain the current action. Later, after you’ve hooked the reader, you can work this info into the story, hopefully through dialogue.
Every Conversation Should Have a Purpose
When I say that you should use dialogue generously, I don’t mean that two friends should get together and chat meaninglessly on matters that don’t move the story forward. Dialogue should serve a purpose: reveal information, define character, move the plot ahead, offer reaction and reflection on what’s just occurred. So ask yourself as you approach a conversation, what do you want to get across in this segment? If you don’t have a point to make, delete the scene.
Proofread Your Work
Would you send an editor a manuscript that you haven’t read through to check for typos? No? Then why send one to a contest where mechanics are judged? Proofread your work for typos, dropped punctuation marks, repetitions and misspellings.
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Most of the entries I’ve read have been competently written. In some cases, the author’s voice comes through as distinctive and engaging. However, the writing itself isn’t the problem. It’s the content— in particular the pacing, structure, and/or character motivations. Does a crisis or a change happen to the character at the start so that she (or he) experiences a call to action? Does the story move forward from there? Or does it stumble while you detour into a long introspection or memory sequence? Do you involve the reader in the action or tell us what happened? Is your character passive or proactive? Have you done all you can to attract new readers and not repel them with questionable language? Reread your first three chapters. If you were an editor, would you want to read more?
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 13
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 13
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
“So what did you want to tell me?” she asked.
His gaze darkened. “We have much to discuss, but not a lot of time. It is unwise to linger.”
His somber expression didn’t sway her. “Feel free to go and take your friends along with you. Your problems aren’t mine, although I do want to thank you for rescuing me from those nutcases in that employment office.” Her forehead scrunched. “Just how did that place vanish, anyway? It was some sort of optical illusion, right?”
“In a way. Look, you fail to understand the danger. We cannot leave you alone.”
“I’m home, and that’s all that matters.”
He shook his head. “Not so. The Trolleks will come after you. They will follow your scent.”
“What scent?” She sniffed the air. “Are you telling me I stink? I may have been running around in the heat, but—”
A grin transformed his face. “You misinterpret, little one. Your skin is fragrant, like purpura blossoms. It is a most pleasant scent and highly alluring.”
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Who are the Trolleks? Should Nira be worried about them?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
September 17, 2012
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 12
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 12
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
Their leader accompanied her forward, his boots pounding on the hot pavement. The others crowded behind as she resignedly led the way.
Inside the foyer, Nira tossed her purse on a side table. As soon as Grace was out of earshot in the kitchen, she lowered her voice. “Okay, who are you and what do you want? And where are you from? You talk like foreigners.”
“Our home is called Karrell.” Zohar’s eyes smoldered as he regarded her, his height and powerful shoulders making her feel small and feminine.
“Never heard of it. Must be a tiny country.” She swept her gaze over their belted tunics, side arms, and tailored trousers. “You could pass for invaders from outer space. Are you sure you’re not here for a convention? Because who else would dress like that, unless you’re with a SWAT team?”
“We are here to save your world, not invade it. What is this phrase, swat team?”
“I will research it, rageesh.” The man with a stubbled jaw, unkempt hair, and killer dimples could have been a double for Josh Holloway on Lost. Nira stared at him, wondering if this were some sort of reality show with hidden cameras.
“I told you not to call me that, Paz.”
“My apologies.” Paz bowed his head, making Nira wonder about his relationship to Zohar.
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Are these men just clueless foreigners?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
September 16, 2012
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 11
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 11
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
“This is Zohar,” Nira supplied when he appeared at a loss for words. “Guys, meet Grace. She’s a dear family friend.”
“Where will you be staying? I know some budget hotels if you need a place.” Grace’s face lit up as it always did when she offered advice.
A hunk with golden blond hair and a youthful face had been speaking softly into his cell phone, or at least a device that looked like one. Switching it off, he regarded his leader. “Rayne has secured accommodations for us at a local hostelry.”
“Oh, that’s good. I suppose you’ll want to visit all the popular theme parks while you’re here,” Grace rambled on as the sun broiled Nira’s scalp.
“What is a theme park?” Zohar cocked his head. “Our objective is Drift World.”
Grace wagged a finger. “Personally, sonny, I don’t see the attraction in adults role-playing their fantasy jobs. Get a real one, that’s my opinion.”
“Grace, it’s too warm out here. I’m going in the house.” Snatching her keys from the carjacker, Nira used the remote to lock her vehicle. Then she wheeled toward the front door, advancing only a few steps before she hesitated. These men seemed friendly, but was it wise to invite them inside?
She turned to Zohar. “Thanks for the escort home. However, please don’t feel you have to hang around on my account,” she told him with a hopeful lilt.
“We still need to talk.” A determined look on his face, Zohar gestured toward the house.
Her stomach sank. She wasn’t going to get rid of him so easily. Maybe she could figure out a way to ditch these guys after cooling off inside.
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Would you trust Zohar at this point?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
September 15, 2012
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 10
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 10
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
Twenty minutes later, they pulled up to the curb in front of Grace’s house. As the driver of Nira’s car joined them outside, the elder lady meandered into the yard. She wore a silk blouse and slacks with not a hair out of place on her teased gray head.
Nira’s heart swelled with affection. Grace was a kindly neighbor who’d offered support when her mother died six years ago. After raising her two younger sisters, Nira had moved into Grace’s house to save money. While the arrangement suited them both, Nira yearned for freedom, not to mention a measure of privacy. This was another reason why she wanted a job, to afford her own apartment. It would mean leaving Grace alone, though, and the eighty-two year old woman became frailer each year.
“Nira, what happened? I didn’t expect you back so early.” Grace peered at Nira’s companions. For her advanced age, her eyesight was still fairly sharp. “Who are your friends?”
The one with rangy black hair and a beard spoke up. “We are…cousins.”
“Really?” Grace propped her hands on her slim hips. “I didn’t know you had any relatives besides your sisters, dear.”
“No, I, uh—”
Zohar strode to Nira’s side and spoke in an undertone. “If you need credits, I am prepared to offer you a job.”
“Say again?” Leaning forward, Grace cupped her ear.
Nira shot Zohar an inquiring glance. She’d ask him what his remark meant later. In the meantime, she raised her voice so Grace could hear.
“These are cousins on my father’s side. Since he walked out on us when I was eight years old, I never knew much about his family. I was quite surprised when they showed up.” Glaring at Zohar, she waited for him to contradict her. He grinned back, a gleam of approval in his eyes.
“My word, you must be thrilled. Come inside and have some lemonade and cake.” Grace surveyed their attire. “No doubt you’ll want to lose those costumes. Your awesome guns add a nice touch, but they might frighten someone. Great choice of props, boys. I hadn’t realized a sci fi convention was in town.”
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How will Nira explain their presence?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
September 14, 2012
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 9
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 9
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
She gave him her address while the rest of his men tore off their disguises. Crammed inside the second row of the van between two hulks, Nira clutched her precious handbag.
When her friend and mentor, Grace Miller, saw Nira trooping in with a gang of men, she’d probably call the cops herself.
Nira hoped so. Now that she was free to pursue her research, she didn’t want anything to interfere.
Her glance dropped to her wristwatch. She’d received the timepiece from her mother as a gift while her mother rested on her deathbed, along with a confession that Nira had been adopted. This keepsake, left by her biological parents, remained the only clue to her true identity. It ran with no visible mechanism and no battery.
Once Nira discovered the inscription on its face was runic lettering, she became fascinated with Norse legends. She studied comparative mythology in grad school, hoping to teach after she’d earned her doctorate degree. In the meantime, she’d meant to trace her origins but lacked the funding to carry out her plans. So far, she wasn’t having much luck finding a summer job. 
She couldn’t worry about that now. First she had to get away from these men.
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What would you do to ditch them?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
September 13, 2012
Warrior Prince Excerpt Part 8
Warrior Prince
Excerpt: Part 8
Copyright 2012 by Nancy J. Cohen
“Okay, that wasn’t real. I must be hallucinating.” Nira accepted her bag from the man who’d retrieved it.
“No hallucination. You were nearly ensnared.” Zohar prodded her toward a parked white van. “This is why you need our protection. Secure her.” He handed her off to another masked man before heading toward the driver’s seat.
“I have my own car. I can meet you wherever we’re going.” Nira thought it worth a try.
Zohar whipped around. “Give your keys to Kaj. He will follow us.”
“I don’t think so. Hey, what are you doing?”
One of the men flashed a pair of stormy gray eyes as he snatched her purse. He fished inside until he found her key ring. Tossing the bag back, he strode toward her vehicle as though it emitted a beacon. Along the way, he ripped off his mask. She got a glimpse of unruly wheat hair, even features, and a taut jaw before he turned his back on them.
“All right, how did he know that’s my car?” She held her ground, refusing to budge.
“Your signals are strong, little one. You left your essence on your automobile. Even we are not immune.”
Zohar tore off his hood, making her inhale sharply. If kidnappers competed for looks, he could win a spot in GQ. 
Deep set turquoise eyes sat under emphatic brows and above a straight, aquiline nose. A firm mouth spoke of a man who set himself high standards, his upper lip a bit narrower than its fuller bottom. He wore his dark brown hair swept back over a regal forehead like Captain Kirk on the original Star Trek show, although his was a bit tussled from the mask.
He grinned, transforming his stern expression into one of devilish amusement. An answering coil of warmth rolled through her.
Okay, get a grip. You’re trapped with four hunky guys who could easily overpower you, and you have no notion of their true intentions. She had to give them credit for rescuing her, though. Maybe they were undercover agents working with some federal agency on a drug bust case.
“Can we take off our masks, rageesh?” another man asked in a respectful tone.
Zohar shrugged. “Why not? The lady is one of us now. Tell me where you wish to go.” His deep voice flowed over her like warm honey.
The police station, big guy. Unfortunately, she didn’t know where one was located on International Drive.
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Do you think it’s wise for Nira to go with these men?
This is a 14-day series of excerpts from my upcoming release, WARRIOR PRINCE: Book One in the Drift Lords Series. All commenters will be entered into a drawing for one of my backlist romance ebooks. Two lucky winners will be announced on Day 15. Go to my Contest page for more opportunities.
Nancy's Notes from Florida
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