John Janaro's Blog, page 296

We Plant, We Water, but God Gives the Growth

The front of the Abbey chapel, with stone wall. Everything is crafted well, simply and carefully.
The good things come slowly.

I am featuring again a picture from the grounds of my favorite monastery, Holy Cross Abbey (Cistercians) in Berryville, Virginia. Monks know that good comes from silence, perseverance, the repetition of the same simple gestures, dedication to prayer day by day, month by month, year by year. They know the labor of sowing seeds that others may reap.

I am impatient about good things. I want them fast. I want my acorns to spring into fully formed oak trees. I want my prayers answered, NOW! I forget that one of God's favorite ways of answering a prayer is, "Ask Me again tomorrow."

Occasionally a good thing bursts upon us in a dramatic and sudden manifestation. God knows we need this sometimes or our weak, distracted nature would lose sight of the good altogether. But even when God works miracles, His deep message to us is, "Trust Me."

The good things grow slowly, with patience and care, if necessary with healing and correction.

So let us not lose patience. Sometimes it seems as if fire rains down on the earth. We feel overwhelmed. But let us tend this little piece of ground, this life that has been given us. Let us sow our seed and tend our shoots with fidelity and dedication to the task in front of us. God will give the growth.

The good things come slowly. But they are the things that endure.

God in the Midst of the Storm

Everything is grace. St. Therese is famous for saying this, and I have reflected upon it previously. When we're deep in anguish, however, things can seem very obscure. We may feel angry with God, and we have to open up that anger so that it can become a cry for help, and a reaffirmation of hope that is real even if its desperate or rough and clumsy and full of pain.

Hope. Some people find a voice for their pain in places in Scripture, like the Psalms of lament (such as Psalms 13, 39, 42, 57, 70, 77, 139, 142). Its only reasonable to seek medicine for our souls, and we will often find help. We can draw deep courage from the Church: the Scriptures, the liturgy, the sacraments, the testimony of Christian witnesses, the charity and solidarity of our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Church is a home with many rooms for the weary.

Still, we should not be frustrated even when there seems to be no place for us, when nothing consoles us and we feel pushed into isolation. Sometimes our own suffering can only be endured as a secret prayer with words too deep for our understanding. We can only be with Jesus in these times, and this is enough. What we must not do, however, is choose to turn away from God and into self-seclusion. Hang on to Jesus and don't let go!

There are times when a simple reflection on God's goodness is what we need. The simple wisdom that we may have so often heard before can suddenly become a great light in the darkness.

I do believe that if we understood the mystery of our lives, we would see that everything really is "grace." Everything is enfolded in the Father's loving plan for each one of us. If God allows something bad to happen to us, He permits it because He wants to bring a greater good out of it; He wants to lead us through these struggles to a deeper and more mature life.

And this is important: He always gives us the strength to live it, to endure it, to grow through it. God doesn't always give us things that feel good, but He always gives us what we really need. That includes the grace that enables us to ask Him for help, to recognize that we need Him and are totally dependent on Him.

We don't ultimately know ourselves, or the mystery of the whole person God wills each of us to become. And when bad things happen, God doesn't usually show us (at least, not at the time) the purpose of these events in our journey to our destiny. We have to trust Him.

Trust is a decision; it is a position of the heart in the midst of the storm. It does not depend on how we feel, and it may not make us feel any better. It usually doesn't make the bad circumstance disappear. But trust makes our hearts grow. We must trust God (I often tell people) even if we can only do it through gritted teeth.

Years later, we can sometimes catch a reflection from the light of this mysterious growth. As we get older and look back on life, we can say, "I'm so grateful for that whole experience. I wouldn't be the person I am today if all of that had not happened." Such memories encourage us to continue to trust.

Always we return to the same theme: Trust. Trust in Jesus. Lord Jesus, give me the grace to trust in You. Make this trust the foundation and the shape of my heart, the position of my heart in the midst of every storm.

Whaddiya Mean "Never Give Up"?

I have probably said this before, but its worth repeating:  NEVER GIVE UP means something very particular on this page, as you know if you've been reading these posts, or if you've read JJ's book (click here to learn more about the book).

It does not mean "keep banging our heads against the wall." It does not mean a mindless perseverance in the wrong direction, for an impossible project or a dangerous illusion. Here by all means we should give up, or even better, "get back on track"! At least, we can cry "help" and let ourselves be rescued.

We must "let go" of problems that we cannot resolve, and entrust their solution to others.

Certainly, we must "give up" things and places and even persons that are destructive to us. Alcoholics need to give up drinking. Diabetics need to give up certain foods. Gambling addicts need to give up going to the casino, and they need to give up hanging around with people who go to casinos all the time. We all need to give up our selfish pride, our grudges, and our many bad habits.

People who are just being stubborn in the face of facts need to give up their false sense of control. They need to give up, give in, and let go.

Our phrase never give up is clearly not meant to indicate a naively optimistic outlook. It is not a cliche for a superficial self-confidence. What, then, does it mean? It means....

Never Give Up on life.

Never Give Up on reality, on the meaning and goodness of reality, .

Never Give Up on the journey that is your own life, and the conviction that there is a destination, even if you don't see it or understand it now.

Never Give Up on the fundamental needs of your heart (which is a human heart): the need for truth, goodness, beauty, love, justice, solidarity, happiness.

Never Give Up on your destiny. You are made "for" Something. Keep searching and don't settle for anything less.

Never Give Up on the Mystery that makes you, and sustains you and all things in being... the Mystery that your heart longs for and that everything points to... because everything cries out, "we are made by a Goodness, a Beauty, a Love that is real."

Never Give Up asking for what you truly need, and hoping to receive as gifts the things you know you can't give to yourself.

Never Give Up begging to see the face of the Mystery.

Never Give Up the struggle to be human. Keep searching for the path, for the next step. Ask for what you need, grab whatever is there and use it as best you can, be grateful for what is given to you, and keep hoping, no matter what.

Never Give Up on the Promise that has been whispered within your heart. You are made for love. You are made to be free. You are made to receive an awesome gift. This gift, even now, can heal you, change you, lift you up, satisfy your endless thirst. Never be discouraged.

Truth is Not My Possession

Instead of laying in bed all weekend, I went with Eileen to the annual Spiritual Exercises of the Fraternity of Communion and Liberation. I wore myself out even more, but it was worth it. Some things you just have to do. I don't know how to rest anyway, so I might as well burn out following Christ, rather than by endlessly spinning my own wheels.
More on this beautiful weekend later. Some recent words from Pope Francis (Audience of May 15) are worth recalling here. Truth is not my possession. It is an encounter with a Person. Benedict XVI also said (as I recall it from memory), "it is not that we have the truth; rather, the truth has us."
At the end of these selections there is a simple prayer to the Holy Spirit that the Pope proposes to us. Let us not dismiss these words as unremarkable because they are so humble. This prayer has been given to us. Let us make it our own.

"Jesus is exactly this: the Truth that, in the fullness of time, 'became flesh,' and came to dwell among us so that we might know it. The truth is not grasped as a thing, the truth is encountered. It is not a possession, it is an encounter with a Person."

"Then, as Jesus promised, the Holy Spirit guides us 'into all the truth' (Jn 16:13); not only does he guide us to the encounter with Jesus, the fullness of the Truth, but he also guides us “into” the Truth, that is, he makes us enter into an ever deeper communion with Jesus, giving us knowledge of all the things of God. And we cannot achieve this by our own efforts. Unless God enlightens us from within, our Christian existence will be superficial."

"This is a prayer we must pray every day:

      Holy Spirit,      make my heart open to the word of God,      make my heart open to goodness,      make my heart open to the beauty of God      every day."

Observing "Lyme Disease Awareness Month" in Virginia

I almost forgot to note that May is "Lyme Disease Awareness Month" in the great State of Virginia. The symbol for Lyme awareness is a lime green ribbon. Hmmmm. I guess I've never been much into the "Lyme-lime" thing. It seems (to me anyway) like an uncomfortable color, and I'm not looking for any more discomfort than I already have.

I heard that the governor's mansion was lit up one night the color of "lime" as part of this promotion.

Wow. Its a little late for me, unfortunately, but its progress, I guess. Slowly, the ice is breaking and people are discovering that this is a complicated problem. Its one of numerous complicated problems that may drive the medical profession to new levels of attention and creativity. Eventually.

Virginia is waking up, mostly because Lyme disease is clearly rampant here in its most obvious form. So people know to check their kids for ticks after they've been playing in the grass or the woods. People know to keep their eyes open for the acute symptoms that sometimes signal the infection. Doctors do the basic tests, and now they are required by state law to tell patients that these tests are... umm... not necessarily accurate. Huh? Oh dear....

Virginians are waking up to the fact that, for some people, Lyme and other tick borne illnesses can cause long term serious problems. There is still a lot of disagreement, however, about what should be done to help them. And a lot of ignorance.

My idea is that the symbol for "Lyme disease awareness" ought to look something like this:




Running from patient to patient, many doctors don't have much time for individual cases. They want to see the rash, get the test results, and write the prescription. Its fast and busy treatment for a fast and busy world.

Who wants to even think about nasty, tricky bacteria that refuse to die?

Anyway, it would appear that lots of folks are able to "beat it" with the standard prompt antibiotic treatment. Others never experience these symptoms at all, as far as they know. But there are some who end up in a struggle with a whole spectrum of health problems that range from annoying to debilitating to lethal. I know these people, and I know their stories.

I am one of these people.

But I would be a bad poster boy for "Chronic Lyme disease" because of all my other health problems. We spent more than ten years and kerfwaddles of money both inside and outside the conventional medical box, trying to make me better. In the last several years we seem to have found a delicate balance of lifestyle, stress levels, medication, diet, and a whole bag of tricks that keep me (most of the time) in the "sorta okay" range.

For now, we are going with this balance, which requires plenty of care and attention to maintain. In the present moment, it is a condition that my wife and I can embrace, along with our family, as we move forward. And I am challenged to find creative ways to put my talents to use for the good, within the limitations of what remains a complex physical and mental disability. The Lyme bacteria are only part of my problem.

But Chronic Lyme has other faces.

There are plenty of normal, lively people who play sports and are full of energy and blooming mental health, until they really get hit hard with this strange-disabling-thing-that-doesn't-go-away. Then they embark upon "the Odyssey" of denial and misdiagnosis, and treatments and therapies of many diverse kinds. They have many weird adventures as they try to return to their former good health. Some people, however, also encounter cutting-edge science and heroic, pioneering medical professionals who are developing models of medical practice that make the particular human person the center of their attention.

Awareness of the person is what we all need most.

I Need Other People

I'm run down lately (it happens, and I'm used to it). I'm not writing much right now, but rather than deprive you of a chance to read, I'll recycle. Here's a post from May 2011. Still true, two years later.

I need other people in my life.
I know there are those who are called to be hermits. But even they are not "alone," if they offer their solitude for the salvation of the world. But that is a special and mystical kind of life.

I need other people, in the most ordinary, human sense of the term. I am a weak and afflicted man, constantly in need of being reminded that I am loved, but more importantly, constantly in need of others to remind me of my vocation to love. I am naturally introspective and easily wrapped up in myself. It is not a place where I want to be, but I don't know how to get out by myself.

The way to get beyond myself is love. And the invitation to love, for me, usually comes from other people. I pray to God and I try to love God, but it is too easy for me to forget about God -- even while praying -- and get wrapped up in some imaginary "God" that is the product of my own circular thinking. How easily prayer can become a monologue and a worrying session. Of course, I know God is there; He accepts anything that we even try to give Him and lovingly turns it toward the good. Still, if life was just me by myself with my prayers, I would be a sad and lonely and atrophied person.

Throughout the day, the summons to love comes from other people. I can't do this thing called "life" by myself. I don't think I could even keep my sanity, much less attain my destiny. These other people are first and above all my wife and family, but also everyone who has been given to me in my circumstances -- people who depend on me, and on whom I depend. They turn me "outwards" with all of that intensity and perceptiveness of my personality. And so I am focused on affirming and helping others instead of analyzing and devouring myself.

It is also a tremendous blessing to be able to write in a context in which I know that someone is going to read my words. Writing could easily degenerate into a self-absorbed exercise were it not for the desire to communicate, and the realization -- thanks to this medium -- that communication will in fact be achieved, and that the words written here will be found useful by others.
 

[...which is to say, if you are reading this now, I thank you. You are a help to me, and I am grateful. I am humbled. Thank you for this gift of your attention. And don't say, "its nothing," because its not nothing. You are a person, and reading is a way of listening. It is a gift of self. That's how human things are. Thank you. Update 5/22/2013]

Many complex motivations, of course, arise in relationships with other people. But when relationships and communication strive outward, for truth, goodness, and beauty, they become the path for the freedom and transcendence of the person. Whether face to face or in writing, they embody the giving and receiving of love that is the mystery of God's own life and the means by which He draws us to Himself.

Herman and Bruno: The Sock Puppet VIDEO!!!

Well, there's nothing much for me say here. Introducing Herman (orange) and Bruno (green), the Sock Puppets, with their handlers (literally) Josefina and Teresa.

Sit back and enjoy the show, including exclusive interviews!

Pentecost: The Spirit Sends Us Forth

     "This is the precious gift     that the Holy Spirit places in our hearts:     the very life of God,     life as true sons,     a relationship of confidence, freedom     and trust in the love and mercy of God,     which has as an effect also a new gaze     towards others, near and far,     always seen as brothers and sisters in Jesus     to be respected and loved.
     "The Holy Spirit teaches us     to look with the eyes of Christ,     to live life as Christ lived it,     to understand life as Christ understood it.     That's why the living water     that is the Holy Spirit     quenches the thirst of our lives,     because it tells us     that we are loved by God as children,     that we can love God as his children     and by his grace we can live     as children of God, like Jesus.
     "And we, we listen to the Holy Spirit?     What does the Holy Spirit tell us?     God loves you.     He tells us this.     God loves you,     He desires your good.     Do we really love God and others,     like Jesus does?     Let us allow ourselves     to be guided by the Holy Spirit,     let us allow Him to speak to our hearts     and tell us this:     that God is love,     that He is waiting for us,     that God is the Father,     he loves us as a true Father,     he truly loves us and only the Holy Spirit alone     says this to our hearts.     Let us hear the Holy Spirit,     let us listen to the Holy Spirit     and let us go forward on this road of love,     of mercy and of forgiveness."
     Pope Francis

Meet Herman, the Sock Puppet

I think the best thing I can do for you today is introduce you to Herman, the Sock Puppet!

*Applause*

"Herman" is a genuine, hand made sock puppet, which means that he is (are you
ready for this) an actual sock that has been augmented by cut pieces of fabric
and some accessories and plenty of glue. Herman doesn't do much by himself,
but becomes quite lively when animated by the hand of his creator-ess.
Look at what children can do. Why should they watch television when they can use their "maginations" and some cloth and make their own characters? I was introduced to Herman yesterday, by someone who is not much bigger than a sock puppet herself:

Its Josefina. Big surprise, huh?
There's Josefina and her sock puppet, and to the right is a living room in a state of utter chaos. Thanks to the tricks of digital photo editing, however, I was able to crop it all out so that you will never know anything about that. Haha... heh....

The two messiest children in the house are named "Somebody" and "I Don't Know."

"Who made this mess?!"

"Somebody..."

"Who???"

"I Don't Know!"

Wait, this is sounding like a Bill Cosby routine.

But kids really do say things like this. Its just human life and weakness in its elemental form, without guile, without any grown-up varnish. Everybody makes messes in life and nobody likes to clean them up.

Herman wanted to do some funny faces. Okay Herman, how about an angry face?

Herman, you look sick.
Give us your best sad face:

Now that is sad, Herman. I think your nose is going to fall off!
She asked me: "Do you love Herman?" (I think its neat that Jojo always wants me to love her maginary people.)

"Of course I love Herman. I love him very much. I especially love the person who made Herman."

This afternoon she was making another one, with a green sock. Don't be surprised if we have a video puppet show soon! We can't have it right now, unfortunately. Josefina is off watching TV.


UPDATED 5/19/2013: Meet Herman's Friend, Bruno the Sock Puppet!

The green sock puppet is named Bruno. What's with the German names, I wonder? Anyway, we'll be seeing and hearing more (I hope) from these guys. Here's Bruno:

Pretty good, eh? Maybe we can make money with these things, hahaha! (typical grown-up thought)

My Two-Handed Coffee Mug

In the previous post, I mentioned "our" Cistercian monastery up the road in Berryville, Virginia. We in the diocese of Arlington, Virginia are blessed to have these monks living the contemplative life among us, as well as a convent of Dominican nuns in Linden, and a convent of Poor Clares in Alexandria. We have our own "constellation" of cloistered contemplatives who light our sky by just being who they are. They pray. Thank God for them.
The monks at Holy Cross Abbey also have a gift shop where they sell things like their own classic, double handled Trappist coffee mug. I use this one to drink my coffee almost every day.
Holy Cross Abbey coffee mug, with the monastery shield. Its even made in USA!
Trappist monks don't eat meat. But they drink coffee. They drank coffee even before Vatican II! (Well, maybe some don't drink coffee, but these big mugs are great for soup or other foods and drinks.) The two handles were traditionally found on children's mugs in France, and I presume the French Trappists brought this with them when they founded communities in the United States. Monks will say that the two handles remind them that they must become like little children to enter the Kingdom of God.
The symbolic shield of the monastery is also a reference point for many things in my own life. The waving line at the bottom represents the Shenandoah river. The line above it, with right angles, represents the Blue Ridge mountains. This is the "place" of the monastery, but it also conveys to me the sense of my own home in this valley, and the daily impact of its beauty on my life. The shield also has two crossed lines, which represent -- of course -- the "Holy Cross." And there is also the star in the upper left corner, which symbolizes the Virgin Mary.
Holy Cross Abbey also makes THE. MOST. AMAZING. FRUITCAKE. EVAH! Seriously, listen, I do not like fruitcake. But I love this fruitcake. They bake it themselves. They also have fruitcake pieces covered with dark chocolate! Oh my!

But I love my coffee mug. And I'm glad it has two handles, because some days I feel like I need them both.