Kristy Nelwan's Blog, page 4

Penjelasan Perasaan

Katanya perasaan itu tidak perlu penjelasan.
Atau malah penjelasan yang tidak perlu perasaan?

Midnight Rambling

Kata-kata adalah nafasmu.


Dengan cantik, hanya kau yang bisa membuat mereka lebih berarti daripada udara. Lebih berarti daripada oksigen biasa. Kalimat-kalimatmu hampir seindah pelangi, hampir sebening pagi. Dan hatiku adalah segumpal awan yang turut bernyanyi, nada-nada yang bercerita tentang mimpi.


Hanya.


Ragaku tidak luar biasa, ragaku hidup sudah dan masih lama. Lebih langgeng daripada surat dan puisi yang kau cipta. Lebih bermakna daripada obrolan dini hari kita. Lebih solid daripada pelangi yang tak pernah bisa teraba. Lebih setia daripada pagi yang hanya ada sebentar saja.


Tak dekat dengan sempurna, tapi cukup dekat dengan nyata.
Ambisi yang ternyata sederhana.

This Life is Our Song

Don’t you wish we’re over? It would be easier. Don’t you wish we’re through? I know I do. None of us could properly describe what’s left, let alone what’s right. We’re not sure if we could call the road behind us as “a history”, nor do we ever accurately predict what our tomorrow will be.
Distance is distance, it’s love resistance.
Or is it?  

The BFF Martini

If I could take a glass and make one special cocktail with the mixture of Thank You, You're the Best, What Would I Be Without Our Endless Discussion and I Think I'll Be Fine As Long As You're Around . I would.

And I would hand over the glass to you. So you'd really know what I feel about our friendship.

It's like the best cocktail ever. In hell, heaven, and on earth.

It really is.

Those lanterns

Maybe those eyes were blue, as dark as the ocean. And somehow something washed them. Shades by shades and those lanterns turned bright, as smooth as skies on the daylight. Life does that. Time takes the waves closer to the seashore, where the sand is always pale--almost white. Where everything is easier, but not necessarily better.

Where reality wins over dreams
And distance is an enough reason to kill the happy ending

After What Felt Like A Million Years

I remember our first meeting, but do not recall the farewell.

It was not the day we stopped talking because we were still there for each other since then, although without words. It was not the day we stopped looking into each other’s eyes, because there were maybe no glares but our hearts remind friends. I knew that somewhere out there someone fully understands me; my fear, my story, my hope and my disappointment—as perfect as I understand his. I knew that no matter what, I’m not alone—not because he’s near, but because he exists. Days and nights go by and I was fine. We’re under the same sky, that’s what matters.

I thought you were still there.

But one day we spoke, after what felt like a million years. And the conversation went well until you said that you fear no more. You said you’ve found the answer and you now understand. You said that you’re happy and satisfied. And you fear no more. Your eyes were bright and you smile wide. You, that moment I realize, were not you anymore.

For if it was you, you’d know that there’s no happiness without fear. You’d know that satisfaction is just a myth, a dream that will never come true.  You’d know that, you’d accept that, because.


We’re under the same sky.

That’s what matters.

I remember our first meeting, but do not recall the farewell. I remember we stopped talking and gazing. But there was never a proper goodbye. The next thing I know is that you’ve gone under different sky.  


I wonder if it’s just as grey as mine. 

One of Those Moments

When your loved ones send you emptiness and notion that you're incompetent. You know they didn't mean to, but you're still in pain. You know they didn't mean to, but you also know that they should not have done so.
Hm, to be taken for granted. And to have that sinking feeling in you, the inevitable disappointment. The heaviness you couldn't get rid off, knowing that the wound is now there ... and you wonder who on earth would help you to fix this? Because, although it's hard to admit, you doubt yourself. How could you not.
You keep telling yourself that no one, no one could kill you unless you let them to.
But it's a little too late, you have let them indeed.

Don't Cheat

Let's not cheat. Though we're smart enough to find justifications, though we have enough reasons. Though we almost forget why we're together, though we don't remember anymore those tingling sensations in our tummy. That stare which started everything, those smiles followed by the first conversation...what was it that we talked about? Was it the weather or the book I was reading? Or was it just a simple, straight forward 'hi'?

The first date and then the first kiss, the very moment we hum that typical sigh, "Hmm." And then the second kiss, which lasted longer. A lot longer.

The first fight, that impossible mixture of hatred and huge love. Those tears and those make-up kisses and hugs.

And the unspoken promise that we're gonna be together no matter what, which were finally said: for better and for worse.

And days went by faster, life got more and more complicated and we went to different directions. Have grown apart they say. Yet we, you and I, we remember and we long for those sparks. We've became older, bitter, but we still want to be in love.

We've became smarter, but are we getting wiser?

Wise people question lot of things, almost every concepts...But do they not keep their promises? Do they not keep their commitment and, if they had to, be fair when they put it to an end?

Let's not cheat. Talk, try again, and leave if it still didn't work out. And then find another soul, and be in love again. Make new stories, new promises, new journey. Whatever.

But don't cheat. For everything we've forgot but been through; We were once in love, otherwise we wouldn't be here, we were once in love. And for that, let's be fair to each other, at the very least.

For everything we've forgot but been through; We were once in love, otherwise we wouldn't be here, we were once in love. And for that: I will never cheat on you. Ever.

In Love

I understand that in love we would stretch our limit, compromise, give. I understand that in love we would think of someone else(s) and not just ourselves. I understand that in love we learn everything about the person, be it a lover, a friend or family, every moment, everyday. In love we try some other perspectives, connect it to our logic, we understand and trust. And when we don't understand we just trust and let go. We love the person, it's all that matters.
I don't understand why, though. That in love, we hurt each other. We say nasty things, we yell. We still keep our ego, our selfishness: Calling it pride or principal. We force things, we can't agree to disagree. We demand everything to unite, to be one. One heart, one mind, one life. We forget that it's impossible. There are two: two hearts, minds. Life, history. It takes two to tango, it takes two to be in love, not one.
We love each other, it's all that matters.

Gravitasi dan Mimpi

Sekali lagi kau mencoba terbang setelah jatuh berulang kali. Kau percaya cintamu pada angkasa kan berbalas suatu hari. Kau percaya penantianmu yang lama kan nyatakan khayal dan mimpi. Kau percaya, sayap yang kau buat sendiri kan membawamu tinggi-tinggi.
Sekali lagi kau mencoba terbang tanpa ingat gravitasi. Gravitasi. Sesuatu yang selalu membawamu kembali. Logika yang harusnya sudah khatam kau hayati
Bukankah seminggu lalu kaupun setujuBahwa tempatmu disini, dipelukankuKau yang bilang bahwa langit terlalu sepiDan kau tak suka terbang dalam sunyi
"Disana ada malaikat kan?" tanyaku. "Ada.""Cantik?""Cantik. Baik.""Trus masalahnya apa?""Aku dan mereka nggak sama dengan kita. Itu masalahnya."
Itu kali pertama kau memberi indikasi bahwa sebetulnya kau, bukan hanya mengerti gravitasi, tapi mengerti bahwa kebersamaan kita tak terganti.
Kukira sayap-sayap itu takkan lagi membawamu pergi.
Tapi sekali lagi kau mencoba terbang setelah jatuh berulang kali. Kau percaya cintamu pada angkasa kan berbalas suatu hari nanti. Kau percaya penantianmu yang lama kan nyatakan khayal dan mimpi. Kau percaya, sayap yang kau buat sendiri kan membawamu tinggi-tinggi.

Bangun sayang, berhentilah bermimpi. Sesekali. Berhentilah bermimpi dan ingat gravitasi. Sesekali. Ingatlah gravitasi dan kita yang tak terganti. Sesekali.