Frank Gullo's Blog

Catch Him

I’ve probably read The Catcher in the Rye fifty times since first discovering it as a teenager. But when I picked it up again this fall, just weeks after sending my daughter to university, I realized I wasn’t reading it as Holden’s peer anymore. I was reading it as someone’s father.

The Holden I’d known for decades, who I identified with and debated about in college, was gone. In his place was a child waving every red flag of distress. Not a whiny teenager. Not an entitled prep-school kid. A boy in crisis.

The Shift Every Parent Knows

Parenting through the last few years has been a masterclass in vigilance. My daughter’s generation has faced stressors few others have: COVID disrupting formative years, the threat of school shootings, and the algorithmic social media amplification of every insecurity. Parents now learn to scan constantly for signs of struggle in ways our own parents never had to.

Yet, reading Holden through a parent’s eyes, I realized the same stress and confusion were there in 1951—we just hadn’t learned the language, and, crucially, we didn’t look past the surface to see the warning signs.

What a Parent Sees

At sixteen, Holden’s alienation feels relatable or irritating. As a parent, it feels alarming.

In just a few days, we learn the depth of his trauma:

When his younger brother Allie dies, Holden smashes every window in the garage with his fists. “My hand still hurts me once in a while, when it rains and all,” he says, like it’s nothing.

He is on the school grounds and hears a classmate jump to his death to escape bullying. The classmate was wearing a sweater he borrowed from Holden when he died.

He fixates on the Museum of Natural History “because everything always stayed right where it was.” He wonders where the ducks go when the pond freezes. He dreams of being “the catcher in the rye,” saving children from falling not just off a cliff but into adulthood.

When his sister Phoebe asks him to name something he likes, he blurts “Allie,” then defensively adds, “I know he’s dead.”

Reading that scene now, I see a boy emotionally frozen at the point of loss, reaching for a world that ended when his brother died.

The Behaviors We Misread

Critics have long dismissed Holden as annoying, privileged, or petulant. But as a parent, I see something else entirely.

A teenager expelled from multiple schools, perhaps struggling with learning differences, attention issues, or depression.

A kid whose thoughts loop and spiral, possibly signs of anxiety or processing challenges.

A boy who can’t read social cues and finds most people “phony.” This intense fixation might be a manifestation of a neurodivergent child struggling to navigate a world of ambiguous social rules and unspoken expectations.

A teen self-medicating with alcohol and cigarettes.

Reading him as a parent, I don’t see defiance anymore. I see symptoms, and a teen trying to survive without the support he needs.

The Scene That Would End Differently Today

Then there’s Mr. Antolini.

Holden falls asleep on his teacher’s couch and wakes to find him “patting me on the goddam head.” The moment is ambiguous, was this concern or something darker? Holden doesn’t know. But he knows he feels unsafe, and he leaves.

As a parent, my reaction is simple: I’d want my child to do the same. I wouldn’t need proof of intent to validate their discomfort. If my daughter or son woke up in an adult’s home feeling unsafe, I’d tell them to trust that instinct and be grateful they did.

Yet Holden is often criticized for “overreacting.” That says less about him and more about us—our discomfort acknowledging vulnerability in boys. We still expect them to justify fear before we take it seriously.

The Parent Holden Needed

When I reread Catcher as a parent, I saw what Holden needed:

Compassion to sit with his overwhelming grief.

Evaluation and support for learning differences.

Professional mental health support for depression and anxiety.

Adults who possessed the wisdom to look past the sarcasm to the scared kid underneath.

The Timeless Question

What keeps The Catcher in the Rye relevant isn’t just Salinger’s prose; it’s the peril of adolescence itself. Sending my daughter to college reminded me how fragile that passage can be, and how fiercely we try to protect our children from falling.

Reading the book now, I see the same Holden reflected in so many teens today: kids teetering on the edge, hoping someone, anyone, will catch them.

The Corner Blitz

Cyberball

Sounds from a late 1980s / early 1990s arcade: the metallic clash of robot against robot, the electronic whine of a bomb heating toward detonation, the clink of quarters dropping into a machine. For me, those sounds belonged to Cyberball, glowing in a neighborhood Putt-Putt Golf and Games on Sheridan Drive in Tonawanda, just outside Buffalo, New York.

My high school friends Jim and Eric were regulars there. They were good, but God and Rob were better. (God earned his nickname while studying to become a mortician, and the name stuck.) Jim and Eric kept improving until one night they finally unseated the reigning champions. I’d rotate in occasionally, corner blitzing every play I could.

In September 1988, Atari released Cyberball, imagining the sport’s future in the year 2022, where athletes had long since been replaced by robots. In this version of football, seven-robot teams competed with a 350-pound ball that doubled as a bomb, heating from cool to critical. Hold it too long, and your robot player went up in smoke.

The game was developed by a team led by programmer John Salwitz and artist Dave Ralston. Salwitz would later contribute to Command & Conquer and Medal of Honor, while Ralston stayed on at Atari before moving to other studios. Together they created an arcade game experience that merged sports, science fiction, and strategy in a new way.

The Cyberball arcade machine was a dual-monitor cabinet that supported four players at once, making the game a social gathering place for gamers. Players developed layered strategies: disguising formations, faking handoffs, and upgrading their robot rosters from plastic to titanium. On defense, turbo bursts were timed with precision to break up passes or deliver devastating tackles.

Cyberball: Football in the 21st Century

Years later, when I conceived a story about a quarterback trying to prove humanity still matters in a sport dominated by machines, my first thought was of Cyberball... and beating the blitzing corner.

Freedom Insurance

Freedom Insurance

In 2175, terrorism is predictable.

One corporation — Freedelity — has mastered the art of automated and complete threat prediction. They offer Freedom Insurance: a 100% guarantee that you and your family will never be victims of a violent attack.

The cost? Not money.

Your data. No privacy, but absolute safety.

Read the full story for free at https://onlyhumanthebook.com/freedominsurance/.

Thirty Years Later, Still Saying Merci

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends and neighbors! 🍁

Though I’m south of the border now, my heart travels north today to Ottawa, where thirty years ago I was a graduate student at the University of Ottawa.

Morisset Library, University of Ottawa

I’m grateful for so many I connected with during my time in Canada: the patient university staff who helped this American navigate a new and unfamiliar foreign admissions system, the passionate professors who opened my eyes to the brilliance of Canadian artists, writers, and creators I’d never encountered before, and the friendships forged that remain strong three decades later.

Terry Fox Memorial Sculpture

Thank you, Canada, for teaching me to ice skate (as an adult, no less!), for introducing me to the magic of beaver tails, poutine and the Man with Two Hats, for the countless walks along the Rideau Canal, and for helping me discover that Quebecois French has its own wonderful character that no Parisian textbook could have prepared me for.

Ottawa Firefighters Memorial

So on this Canadian Thanksgiving, I’m thinking of you with deep gratitude.

The Man with Two Hats

Merci pour tout.

Why American Boys Still Need Rites of Passage

It's been nearly 30 years since I attended grad school and completed my Master’s Thesis. My topic was rites of passage for boys and young men in America as reflected in the nation’s popular literature. What I discovered is that American society lacked sufficient frameworks for guiding young men into adulthood.

The world is of course very different now than it was in the mid-1990s when this was written. Yet the themes of alienation and empty purpose I sensed and uncovered in my original analysis are even more relevant today as they were two and a half decades ago. I was soberly reminded of this during the post-mortem on the 2024 election when it was revealed that young men under 30 shifted right by a 14-point margin, many saying they see a "masculinity crisis" and felt homeless politically and as a man.

This prompted me to return to my work with fresh eyes, hoping that the insights from my original research and the evolution of these issues over three decades might contribute to understanding and addressing what has become a defining challenge of our time.

Warning Signs

In my analysis, I traced a troubling pattern through American literature: the gradual disappearance of ceremonial rites of passage that had once guided young men into mature adulthood. From Huck Finn's mentorship under Jim on the Mississippi to Ike McCaslin's hunting initiation with Sam Fathers in Faulkner's "The Bear," from the fishing lessons in Norman Maclean's "A River Runs Through It" to the wilderness wisdom in Hemingway's Nick Adams stories, American coming-of-age literature revealed the importance of the natural world in male rites of passage and how the closing of the natural frontier loosened this important connection between boys and the natural world as a primary initiation ground.

The cost of this loss became evident in later literary protagonists: Holden Caulfield from Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye wandering Central Park in desperate search of authentic mentorship, the cocaine-numbed narrator of Bret Easton Ellis’s "Less Than Zero" drifting through empty privilege, and Updike’s Rabbit Angstrom forever trapped in the glory of high school basketball because no one guided him toward adult purpose. These characters aren’t just famous fictional constructs, they are harbingers of what happens when a culture abandons its responsibility to consciously guide masculine development.

I argued that without formal frameworks for masculine initiation, American society was creating a generation of men adrift in "arrested development": emotionally stunted, spiritually rootless, and vulnerable to destructive substitutes for the meaningful challenge and recognition they craved.

Boys Are Still Struggling

Today's data confirms what literature anticipated decades ago. Boys are struggling academically at unprecedented rates, with women earning 15% more bachelor's degrees than men. Male labor force participation has declined dramatically, with nine million prime working-age men not in the labor force even before Covid-19. Mental health crises, suicide rates, and social isolation among young men have reached epidemic proportions.

What I didn't anticipate in 1995 was how technology would amplify both the problem and potential solutions. The fundamental need for initiation didn't disappear, it simply found new expressions, and not all of them healthy.

Digital Guides Fill the Vacuum

Joe Rogan and other podcasters have become spiritual guides to millions of young men seeking meaning. His podcast pulls over 10 million listeners per episode, more than CNN's primetime lineup combined. Men aged 18-45 now trust podcasts more than any other news source, creating what amounts to a parallel information ecosystem where masculine identity is negotiated in real-time.

This represents a profound shift from the isolated literary characters I analyzed in my thesis. Now, millions of young men are undergoing their masculine formation together, through parasocial relationships with podcast hosts who have become de facto mentors. As anthropologists studying these spaces observe, "at its core, the appeal of these podcasts is the promise of transformation. The conversations revolve around a central, almost mythic struggle: the battle against one's own worst instincts." These are exactly the kind of initiatory challenges traditional rites of passage once provided.

But the vacuum I identified has also been filled by more controversial figures. Andrew Tate became "the most Googled public figure in 2022" by focusing on exactly what I wrote about: young men seeking "community and place of belonging, a defined enemy, direction, certainty, solutions to deep and systemic issues and, perhaps most importantly, hope." The concerning reality is that 79% of boys aged 16 to 17 in the UK had consumed content by Tate—more than knew their own Prime Minister.

The Consequences of Neglect

The 2024 US election revealed the stakes of ignoring young men's developmental needs. Trump made strategic appearances on male-dominated podcasts—spending three hours with Joe Rogan, appearing on shows with Theo Von and Adin Ross—while Harris declined Rogan's invitation. The result speaks for itself.

This isn't just America. Similar patterns are emerging across Western democracies as young men feel increasingly alienated from progressive politics they perceive as hostile to masculine identity. When I hear that young men feel "quite homeless politically" because they "don't see themselves in the rhetoric and aesthetic and politics of the left," I recognize the same psychological homelessness I documented in characters like Holden Caulfield, but now it's playing out on a national scale with electoral consequences.

The tragedy is that the young men drawn to figures like Andrew Tate aren't irredeemable—they're simply responding to the same fundamental needs that drew Ike McCaslin to hunting camps and Norman Maclean to rivers. They want challenge, they want mentorship, they want to matter. When healthy culture fails to provide this, unhealthy culture will gladly step in.

A New Generation of Guides

In contrast, what has give me hope has been the emergence of a modern men's work movement that understands both the depth of the crisis and the necessity of conscious solutions. Unlike the toxic masculinity peddled in darker corners of the internet, this movement recognizes that healthy masculine development requires both challenge and wisdom, structure and soul. These leaders have intuited what my analysis suggested: that authentic masculine development needs integration of strength with vulnerability, leadership with service, and individual growth with community responsibility.

This new generation of guides has helped shape what amount to modern rites of passage, though they might not call them that. They've developed frameworks that provide the same essential elements traditional rites offered: separation from childhood conditioning, transformational challenges, wise mentorship, and reintegration into community with new responsibilities.

A prominent voice has been Richard Reeves whose academic research provides the statistical backbone for what many have intuited. His work confirms structural solutions like "redshirting" boys in school and recruiting more male teachers, while arguing for "a positive vision of masculinity that is compatible with gender equality." Reeves brings scholarly credibility to conversations often dismissed as reactionary, demonstrating that helping men doesn't require abandoning feminism.

Traver Boehm and his "UNcivilized" movement recognizes that men need both "primal masculine" and "divine masculine" energies—what he defines as strength, presence, responsibility, obsession (growth-oriented), and competency. This mirrors the integration that traditional rites provided: physical challenge coupled with spiritual wisdom.

Connor Beaton has developed perhaps the most systematic approach through ManTalks, emphasizing "shadow work," facing the rejected aspects of oneself that lead to self-sabotage. His framework provides a three-part journey to uncover and free oneself from destructive patterns, essentially creating a modern psychological initiation that helps men move from unconscious reactivity to conscious response.

Robert Masters brings a psychotherapeutic approach with his shadow work methodology, creating what he calls "core-level" transformation by helping men face their foundational conditioning through psychological, emotional, and spiritual approaches. His work recognizes that true masculine power emerges not from avoiding difficult emotions but from developing the capacity to meet them consciously.

Robert Glover identified a specific modern masculine pathology—"Nice Guy Syndrome"—where men disconnect from their authentic desires and boundaries in a misguided attempt to earn love and approval. His recovery framework essentially provides a pathway from false masculine conditioning back to integrated masculine authenticity.

David Deida offers men a path that honors both their deepest drives and their capacity for transcendence through his work on sexual polarity and spiritual masculine expression. His emphasis on "fearlessness, or the capacity to transcend the fear of death for the sake of love" as a quintessential masculine gift provides modern men with a noble purpose that traditional societies encoded in their initiation rites.

What these approaches share with traditional rites of passage is their emphasis on community and witness. The most effective contemporary men's work doesn't happen in isolation but in groups, including men's circles, weekend intensives, mentorship programs that provide the witness and accountability that transformation requires. They understand that lasting change needs both individual work and collective support.

What Modern Rites of Passage Must Include

Based on both my original research and the work of today's most effective practitioners, I believe any effective modern masculine initiation must include:

1. Intentional Challenge

Boys and men need experiences that push them beyond their comfort zones: not for machismo, but to discover their own resilience and capacity. This might be wilderness experience, physical training, emotional vulnerability, or spiritual practice, but it must involve genuine risk and growth.

2. Wise Mentorship

Young men need guides who have done their own inner work and can provide both challenge and compassion. As Connor Beaton discovered, transformation requires the courage to "shine light into my deepest corners and start talking about it."

3. Sacred Purpose

Traditional rites always connected individual transformation to service to the community. Modern men need to understand how their personal development serves something larger than themselves.

4. Integration Practices

The work doesn't end with insight but requires ongoing practices that integrate new awareness into daily life, including meditation, journaling, men's group participation, or commitment to specific forms of service.

5. Community Recognition

The broader community must acknowledge and celebrate men's growth, creating social incentives for healthy masculine development rather than rewards for destructive behavior.

Rites of Technology

The internet has exacerbated the problem and also provides potential solutions. Digital tools can either isolate men in echo chambers of rage or connect them in communities of growth. The most effective approaches use technology to facilitate real human connection and accountability, not just consumption of content that confirms existing biases.

What I've learned is that Joe Rogan pulls more listeners than traditional media precisely because he provides what traditional institutions have abandoned: lengthy, unfiltered conversations about meaning, purpose, and what it means to be a man. The tragedy is when this hunger gets exploited by those selling dominance and grievance rather than growth and service.

The Stakes for Democracy

What became clear to me watching the election results is that we can no longer afford to ignore young men's need for meaningful initiation into healthy masculinity. When we abandon them to figure it out alone, they become vulnerable to demagogues who exploit their legitimate needs for recognition and purpose.

The choice of which version of masculinity we promote has become a matter of democratic stability. The healthiest modern approaches I've studied seek integration: honoring both masculine and feminine qualities while recognizing that true strength includes vulnerability, true leadership includes service, and true courage includes the willingness to grow.

The frontier was never geographical, it was always psychological and spiritual. As characters like Nick Adams and Sal Paradise have showed us, the most important territory to explore has always been within ourselves. But now that inner territory is mapped in real-time through AI and digital connections that can either isolate us in echo chambers or connect us in communities of growth.

Across the country, men are creating the rites of passage that formal culture failed to provide, often using the same digital tools that can radicalize toward destruction to instead build toward integration. They're gathering in circles, embarking on vision quests, engaging in shadow work, and committing to conscious relationship.

The question isn't whether we need masculine initiation—the need is written in election results, suicide statistics, and the millions who flock to any figure promising masculine recognition. The question is whether we'll create conscious ceremonies that build men up, or watch them get recruited by those who exploit their hunger for significance.

This reflection builds on insights from my 1995 thesis "Wide Awake in America: The Emergence and Dissolution of American Ceremonial Rites of Passage" and incorporates perspectives from contemporary leaders in men's development including Richard Reeves, Connor Beaton, Traver Boehm, David Deida, Robert Glover, and Robert Augustus Masters.

Endnotes and References

Gullo, Frank. "Wide Awake in America: The Emergence and Dissolution of American Ceremonial Rites of Passage." M.A. Thesis, University of Ottawa, 1995.

Contemporary Statistics and Research 2. Reeves, Richard V. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It. Brookings Institution Press, 2022.

"Young men under 30 voted for President-elect Donald Trump over Vice President Kamala Harris by a 14-point margin." CIRCLE analysis using AP VoteCast data, November 2024.

"Women earning 15% more bachelor's degrees than men in 2019." Reeves, Richard V. "Why boys and men?" Of Boys and Men Substack, September 10, 2022.

"Nine million prime working-age men not in the labor force." Reeves, Of Boys and Men, 2022.

"Joe Rogan pulls 11 million listeners per episode." Carman, A. "Spotify reveals Joe Rogan's podcast numbers." Bloomberg, March 21, 2024.

"Men aged 18-45 now trust podcasts more than any other news source." National Research, Inc. poll published by The Daily Mail, December 2024.

"Andrew Tate became 'the most Googled public figure in 2022'." Multiple sources including BBC and Guardian reporting, 2022-2023.

"79% of boys aged 16 to 17 in the UK had consumed content by Tate." Hope Not Hate research, 2023.

"At its core, the appeal of these podcasts is the promise of transformation." Posner, Abigail and Tom Maschio. "If we just listen, bro podcasts lay bare the search for masculinity." The Drum, May 6, 2025.

Boehm, Traver. Man UNcivilized. Self-published, 2023. See also: traverboehm.com and manuncivilized.com

"Primal masculine" and "divine masculine" energies. Boehm, Traver. Interview on "The Uncivilized Podcast" and various social media content.

Beaton, Connor. Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom. Sounds True, 2023.

"Shadow work" and three-part journey framework. Beaton, Connor. ManTalks content and Men's Work, 2023.

"A positive vision of masculinity that is compatible with gender equality." Reeves, Richard V. Of Boys and Men, 2022.

Masters, Robert Augustus. To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power. Sounds True, 2018.

"Core-level" transformation methodology. Masters, Robert Augustus. Knowing Your Shadow: Becoming Intimate with All That You Are. Sounds True, 2013.

Glover, Robert A. No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life. Running Press, 2003.

"Young men feel 'quite homeless politically'." Reeves, Richard V. Interview on Niskanen Center podcast, November 20, 2023.

"Community and place of belonging, a defined enemy, direction, certainty." Analysis from multiple sources on manosphere appeal, including academic research on Andrew Tate's influence.

"Trump made strategic appearances on male-dominated podcasts." Multiple news sources covering Trump's podcast strategy in 2024 election, including appearances on Joe Rogan Experience, Theo Von, and Adin Ross shows.

Traditional rites of passage research cited in original thesis, including works on Papua New Guinea male initiation and various cultural practices.

Faulkner, William. Go Down, Moses (particularly "The Bear"). 1942.

Maclean, Norman. A River Runs Through It and Other Stories. 1976.

Hemingway, Ernest. Various Nick Adams stories.

Salinger, J.D. The Catcher in the Rye. 1951.

Ellis, Bret Easton. Less Than Zero. 1985.

Updike, John. Rabbit, Run. 1960.

Peterson, Jordan B. Various works and podcast appearances referenced in manosphere analysis.

Fresh & Fit Podcast content and analysis from multiple academic sources studying manosphere influence.

Various social media and podcast analytics cited throughout, including Spotify charts and YouTube subscriber data.

Note: This piece represents a synthesis of academic research, contemporary observation, and personal reflection spanning nearly three decades. While every effort has been made to accurately represent sources and statistics, readers are encouraged to consult original sources for complete context.

Blending Time and Tech with Travis Belrose

Last summer, during a visit to Ottawa, Ontario, I recorded an interview with my friend and fellow University of Ottawa alum Travis Belrose. The interview was moderated by (at the time) grad student Jennifer Igbokwe, also from the University of Ottawa, and was focused on our books (Only Human and The Samurai Poet).

The conversation explored the origins and themes of our books, the distinct challenges of our writing processes, the growing impact of AI on writing and writers, and reflections on our time at the university and the broader writing world.

Please enjoy and listen to our conversation on the the Only Human YouTube book channel at @OnlyHumanBook, or below.

TechXY Turbo - Episode Drop

TechXY Turbo has launched and is now available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon, Pandora, Podcast Addict, Deezer, and JioSaavn.

Please enjoy and listen to the following episodes:

Episode 1 - "Breaking Excuses & Embracing AI" with Larry Mietus

On this episode, Larry shares insights on AI’s role in business strategy, the future of work, and the biggest tech-driven transformations happening today.

Episode 2 - "AI, Cybersecurity, and the Future of Digital Privacy" with Jessica Copeland

Jessica joins TechXY Turbo to dive deep into the intersections of artificial intelligence, cybersecurity, and the legal industry.

TechXY

Sneak peak: https://techxy.net/

David Copper Interviews Me

David Copper is a voice artist who I’ve worked with on several projects to date and with more planned for 2025.

In this interview from last November, we discuss everything from computer games, the value promise of AI as a tool, the limits of AI today in forecasting, future projects, the Bills and Vikings, and an iconic, inspiring Buffalo Bills Super Bowl memory.

Celebrating the 20th anniversary of Half-Life 2

“Wake up and smell the ashes.”

20 years ago, Half-Life 2 was released. At the time, the computer gaming market was booming. 2003, the year before Half-Life 2, featured the release of Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and there were several good media franchise tie ins to choose from, including Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Games with immersive stories and playable worlds were breaking new ground too, with Morrowind and Neverwinter Knights very popular at the time.

And then came Half-Life 2, which managed to take successful gameplay elements from all the best games of the era, advance graphics fidelity and in game physics, add in new playable mechanics and enemy AI, and wrap it all in an unforgivable story with memorable characters that rivals the best in all of sci-fi pop culture with the added element that you are part of the story.

For me, it’s the game of games. My desert island, all time favorite game.

Thank you, Valve.

—

To celebrate the game’s 20th anniversary, Valve is offering Half-Life 2 for free until November 18th with additional content including developer commentary mode, improved graphics, and more. There’s also a Half-Life 2 documentary available for free viewing on YouTube.