Priyanka Naik's Blog, page 18
May 29, 2014
Parody: 'Date a boy who boozes...'
A long time ago, I came across this interesting piece written by Rosemarie Urquico, titled 'Date a girl who reads'. The keen observation about the 'reader' girl got people all over the world smiling and sharing the writeup all over their Facebook walls and MySpace pages. Personally, I was so impressed with the article that I decided to get inspired and invent a small little parody---my evil contribution to the world. Its called "Date a guy who boozes." and should be taken with a bucket load of salt.
Date a guy who drinks...not just socially, but someone who, for lack of a more eloquent word, boozes.
Date a guy who spends his money on alcohol instead of gizmos. He has problems with bar space because he has too many bottles to store-wine, whiskey, rum, cognac, gin-you name it, he has it all stacked neatly in his bar.. Date a guy who has a list of spirits he wants to guzzle, who has had a mean cocktail since he was twelve.
Find a guy who drinks. You’ll know that he does because he will always have that look in his eyes when he spots a lounge or pub. He’s the one lovingly looking over the wine shelves at the shopping mart, the one who quietly cries out when he spots his favorite Bacardi pack of six.
You see the weird dude sniffing the corks of vintage champagne bottles, in a winery? That’s our potential boozer. They can never resist smelling the corks, especially when they are vintage. Find out more about him.
He's the guy dozing (from last night's hangover) while you try out dress after dress in the changing room. If you take a peek from inside, you would find him patiently sitting on the couch outside with his head in his hands, afraid to stand up from fear that he may throw up from the effort. Lost in the frenzy of an inebriated world. Sit down. He might give you a glare, as most guys who drink do not like to be questioned or reprimanded. Ask him about last night's party instead. Feign enthusiasm. Offer to buy him a espresso.
Let him know what you really think of irresponsible drinking. Check if he is the kind to drink and drive (If he is, dump him ASAP.) Understand that if he says if he loves you more than Jack Daniels, he’s just saying that to sound romantic. Ask him if to choose between Hoegaarden and Draft, and sit back and watch the confusion..
It’s easy to date a guy who drinks. Refilling his champagne flute with his favorite bubbly would make up for birthday meal you burnt. Accompany him for his biannual LFT's (Liver Function Tests). Hold his hand during an Ascitic tap. Let him know that you understand that booze is love.
Understand that he knows the difference between intoxication and reality but by god, he’s going to try to make his internal system a little like his favorite brewery. It will never be your fault if he does.
He has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to him. Nine times out of ten, you can tell him he imagined it all, and he'd be too stoned to contradict you. Behind booze are other things: Dope, Charas, Smack, Gaanja. What's a little life anyway? It will definitely not be the end of the world.
Fail him. Because a guy who drinks knows that failure, like hepatic failure which his doctor has warned him about, often leads to the climax, the fall of the curtain, the end of the show. Because guys who understand all this, and still continue to drink nevertheless, should not expect people to improve or learn from mistakes. Moreover, they would hardly notice the break in the continuity of their relationships. Because they take pride in a jilted love affair, after all wasn't it a broken heart and a drinking problem that turned 'Devdas' into a hero, they think. Because life is meant to have a 'Paro' or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Guys who booze understand that people, like characters, are slandered. Except in the Disney Series.
If you find a guy who boozes, keep him at arms length. When you find him up at 2 AM clutching a bottle in his hand and weeping like a baby, know he has a serious problem and call Rehab. Institutionalizing him may make you lose him for a couple of months, but he will always come back to you, a reformed man. He would talk as if the lectures in the Alcohol Anonymous sessions he has been attending really help, because for a while, they do.
You will propose to a man who has now started drinking in moderation, or so you would like to think. The experiment is a success.
You will smile at your lucky stars---at least he did not end up like the neighborhood Jake, who was found lying in the gutters, bottle in hand---until you will notice that he is grinning right back at you, for no apparent reason. That is when you will notice his stoned expression, the drool at the corners oh his mouth, the alcohol breath, the dark circles around his eyes, the tremors. But its too late. You are already married to the addict. Then you will join him too, first out of frustration, then for company, then for inspiration. Inspiration will soon change to intoxicating passion, and the next thing you know you will have kids with strange tastes and even stranger addictions. He will introduce your children to Ben and Jerry's and Liqour candy the same day. The rum cake will always have a little extra rum poured in. Nobody will know whether it was you or the kids that consumed the last sip of brandy. But those things wont matter much. Even if they end up as drunks, someone will date them someday. Someone will marry the bummers. You married one, yourself, didn't you? Years from then, you and him will walk the winters of your old age together if you two manage to survive that long.
Date a boy who boozes, because its funnnnn! Who wants a nice little happy life with no squabbles and fights, with lovely well mannered children and a secure future? Nawww! BORING!!
A life with hangovers and nausea, and late nights and insomnia, and espressos that kick in and jobs that kick out, and bruises and needles, and blood tests and hospital beds, and insurance fights and drunken brawls, and brutish kids and unpredictable endings....Boy!!! Now that's Adventure, eh? A man who does not booze will never be able to provide you with the kind of insane instability that a boy who boozes can.
So, if you want the world and the worlds beyond it, a little sooner than expected and not necessarily in a good way, date a boozer.
Or better yet, you start boozing too!
(Issued in public interest)
Date a guy who drinks...not just socially, but someone who, for lack of a more eloquent word, boozes.
Date a guy who spends his money on alcohol instead of gizmos. He has problems with bar space because he has too many bottles to store-wine, whiskey, rum, cognac, gin-you name it, he has it all stacked neatly in his bar.. Date a guy who has a list of spirits he wants to guzzle, who has had a mean cocktail since he was twelve.
Find a guy who drinks. You’ll know that he does because he will always have that look in his eyes when he spots a lounge or pub. He’s the one lovingly looking over the wine shelves at the shopping mart, the one who quietly cries out when he spots his favorite Bacardi pack of six.
You see the weird dude sniffing the corks of vintage champagne bottles, in a winery? That’s our potential boozer. They can never resist smelling the corks, especially when they are vintage. Find out more about him.He's the guy dozing (from last night's hangover) while you try out dress after dress in the changing room. If you take a peek from inside, you would find him patiently sitting on the couch outside with his head in his hands, afraid to stand up from fear that he may throw up from the effort. Lost in the frenzy of an inebriated world. Sit down. He might give you a glare, as most guys who drink do not like to be questioned or reprimanded. Ask him about last night's party instead. Feign enthusiasm. Offer to buy him a espresso.
Let him know what you really think of irresponsible drinking. Check if he is the kind to drink and drive (If he is, dump him ASAP.) Understand that if he says if he loves you more than Jack Daniels, he’s just saying that to sound romantic. Ask him if to choose between Hoegaarden and Draft, and sit back and watch the confusion..
It’s easy to date a guy who drinks. Refilling his champagne flute with his favorite bubbly would make up for birthday meal you burnt. Accompany him for his biannual LFT's (Liver Function Tests). Hold his hand during an Ascitic tap. Let him know that you understand that booze is love.Understand that he knows the difference between intoxication and reality but by god, he’s going to try to make his internal system a little like his favorite brewery. It will never be your fault if he does.
He has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to him. Nine times out of ten, you can tell him he imagined it all, and he'd be too stoned to contradict you. Behind booze are other things: Dope, Charas, Smack, Gaanja. What's a little life anyway? It will definitely not be the end of the world.
Fail him. Because a guy who drinks knows that failure, like hepatic failure which his doctor has warned him about, often leads to the climax, the fall of the curtain, the end of the show. Because guys who understand all this, and still continue to drink nevertheless, should not expect people to improve or learn from mistakes. Moreover, they would hardly notice the break in the continuity of their relationships. Because they take pride in a jilted love affair, after all wasn't it a broken heart and a drinking problem that turned 'Devdas' into a hero, they think. Because life is meant to have a 'Paro' or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Guys who booze understand that people, like characters, are slandered. Except in the Disney Series.
If you find a guy who boozes, keep him at arms length. When you find him up at 2 AM clutching a bottle in his hand and weeping like a baby, know he has a serious problem and call Rehab. Institutionalizing him may make you lose him for a couple of months, but he will always come back to you, a reformed man. He would talk as if the lectures in the Alcohol Anonymous sessions he has been attending really help, because for a while, they do.
You will propose to a man who has now started drinking in moderation, or so you would like to think. The experiment is a success.
You will smile at your lucky stars---at least he did not end up like the neighborhood Jake, who was found lying in the gutters, bottle in hand---until you will notice that he is grinning right back at you, for no apparent reason. That is when you will notice his stoned expression, the drool at the corners oh his mouth, the alcohol breath, the dark circles around his eyes, the tremors. But its too late. You are already married to the addict. Then you will join him too, first out of frustration, then for company, then for inspiration. Inspiration will soon change to intoxicating passion, and the next thing you know you will have kids with strange tastes and even stranger addictions. He will introduce your children to Ben and Jerry's and Liqour candy the same day. The rum cake will always have a little extra rum poured in. Nobody will know whether it was you or the kids that consumed the last sip of brandy. But those things wont matter much. Even if they end up as drunks, someone will date them someday. Someone will marry the bummers. You married one, yourself, didn't you? Years from then, you and him will walk the winters of your old age together if you two manage to survive that long.
Date a boy who boozes, because its funnnnn! Who wants a nice little happy life with no squabbles and fights, with lovely well mannered children and a secure future? Nawww! BORING!!A life with hangovers and nausea, and late nights and insomnia, and espressos that kick in and jobs that kick out, and bruises and needles, and blood tests and hospital beds, and insurance fights and drunken brawls, and brutish kids and unpredictable endings....Boy!!! Now that's Adventure, eh? A man who does not booze will never be able to provide you with the kind of insane instability that a boy who boozes can.
So, if you want the world and the worlds beyond it, a little sooner than expected and not necessarily in a good way, date a boozer.
Or better yet, you start boozing too!
(Issued in public interest)
May 9, 2014
Dear Fidato
I will never understand how a distant faded memory sneaks its way into your mind on a perfectly busy day and just refuses to let go.
I will never understand how no matter what the current dynamics of the relationship, glimpses of what 'once had been' visit you especially when you least expect it...sometimes in days, sometimes in months and sometimes in years.
Some emails stayed undeleted...
Some letters remained unburnt...
Some conversations got permanently archived...
Some precious imprints got etched in the memory...
and you and me, I guess in some far away recess of my tired mind, we are always there---loving each other, hating each other, at logger heads with each other...or perhaps in perfect harmony with one another.
I do not know if memories are excuses to break away from the rest of the world. If they are, then perhaps you are helping me.
Some relations will forever remain inscrutable. Some people, forever indispensable.
Maybe, just maybe, in some parallel universe, you and me are still together. laughing at the confusion between us in the here and now.
I will never understand how no matter what the current dynamics of the relationship, glimpses of what 'once had been' visit you especially when you least expect it...sometimes in days, sometimes in months and sometimes in years.
Some emails stayed undeleted...
Some letters remained unburnt...
Some conversations got permanently archived...
Some precious imprints got etched in the memory...
and you and me, I guess in some far away recess of my tired mind, we are always there---loving each other, hating each other, at logger heads with each other...or perhaps in perfect harmony with one another.
I do not know if memories are excuses to break away from the rest of the world. If they are, then perhaps you are helping me.
Some relations will forever remain inscrutable. Some people, forever indispensable.Maybe, just maybe, in some parallel universe, you and me are still together. laughing at the confusion between us in the here and now.
April 1, 2014
ANTAKSHARI-3...Its back!!!
Hello Readers,
I am aware that we have been a little out of action here, you and me.
Perhaps it is the lull that comes after years of togetherness that occurs even in the best of relationships, or perhaps the monotony of our hectic schedules leave us with little time to stop and smell the flowers. Whatever might be the reason, the truth is that this sudden bout of deadpan lethargy is quite obvious by the awkward cessation of cheerful chatter wafting in the air, and the sweet fragrance of soulful conversation that once emanated from our 'Nostalgic Moments'.
So just to spruce up our relationship once more with the good old charm and enthusiasm of yester years, here's presenting before you, (*drum rolls in the backdrop*) online ANTAAAAKSHARI 3!!!!!!
For those who are not aware, Online Antakshari is a series of fun interaction posts we used to have way back on here. The first time around, it was a huge hit (check Antakshari-1 ) with members all over Blogsville and outside participating. Months later, we saw Antakshari 2 happening, and had a jolly well time then as well. Hence, the need of Antakshari-3 now, to bring back memories of a time not long ago, and help us kick start our listless minds with a hum on our lips and a spring in our step.,
As for the rules of the game, for those who arnt aware---
It is a simple game where in you start with a song and the next person takes it from the last letter of the last word of that song and types in (because unfortunately the virtual world has its limitations) another song.Let us try not to repeat any of the songs because repetition kinda spoils the fun..and make sure we don't murder any lyrics around here. We wouldn't want those lyricists turning in their graves ;)Oh, and one more thing, typing more than just two lines of the song is mandatory. If by chance two or more people comment in at the same time with different songs for the same letter, then the one whose comment appeared first will be considered.Anyone and everyone (bloggers and non bloggers) is invited and welcome to participate any number of times. FOR THE OPENING SONG, CHECK OUT THE COMMENT SPACE....
CHEERS TO A MAGICAL MUSICAL TIME AHEAD!!! :)
