Priyanka Naik's Blog, page 16
January 14, 2015
Clandestine
Have you ever heard the sound of silence?
People who know me know how mentally stimulating I find conversation. I like to stay amidst talking people, in noisy places, amidst friendly chatter. It makes me feel alive. Being a part of the crowd offers a strange kind of security, a solace that everyone is moving along with you. The only time I appreciate some quiet is either when I am having a splitting headache or when I am reading a book.
However, last weekend I experienced something unique. I was talking to a group of friends, and all of a sudden, I felt this need to separate myself from the incessant banter. I wanted to focus on something far away. It was not that the conversation wasn't interesting. Our conversations are always fun. But there was a part of my mind that was trying to focus on something else...a clock ticking on a wall at the far end corner of the cafe, the sound of the blades of the whirring fan above us, the swish swooshing made by opening and closing movements of the door. What felt absurd was that these were sounds that I hardly paid any attention to in the past...noises that are drowned out in the din at a common place setting.
However yesterday I was straining to notice them. It was as if I had enough of the obvious and now wanted to explore the ignored...as if my ears were craving to hear the sounds of silence.
Perhaps my friends noticed my distracted behavior and we called it wraps earlier than usual. On the way home, I was ruminating over this unnatural reaction of mine, but still couldn't place any reason to it. Maybe I'm just turning old and senile, I humored myself. But there was another part of me that was still trying to detach myself from thinking too hard.
It was around 9 pm by the time I got home. I headed straight to my room. A half read novel was lying on the bed. As habit would have it, I was tempted to pick it up. But I refrained. I switched off my cell phone, turned off the TV, opened the windows to my room and waited, eyes closed. How long since I had last done that? How long since I had tried to drive away all the clutter that occupied my mind?
How long since I had stopped to appreciate the sound of silence?
I flinched with the realization. Could it be that my mind was trying to tell me something? Did a mental freeze mean that my brain, my body was asking me to slow down?
Are we not acquainted so much to the superficiality that we forget to notice the deeper essentials? If we peel back the superficial layers of our life---the frenzy, the confusion----a calm stillness awaits.
A cold breeze brushed against my face. I tried to distract myself from the occasional sound of traffic on the street in front of my house. It took me some time to adjust myself.
As I stood there, chafing the pristine silence from the chaos, I heard the rustling of leaves, the faint mewing of our neighbour's cat (I wasn't even aware they had a cat until then), a faint familiar tune playing on a radio station in some parked car somewhere in the distance----soft signs of satisfaction that the mind searches for every once in a while. It was breath taking, this experience.
I wanted to explore the beauty of that stillness.
I wanted to be one with this magic of silence!
The moment felt so fragile that I wanted to preserve it for eternity. But letting it go was necessary...for me to experience it all over again.
And so let go I did, with the promise of a visit soon...very soon.
For words are a powerful addiction,and silence a complicated affair...Each in company and in solitude, a magic one dare not share...
So discover your learning moment,a time freeze or wrap...But don't you dare stay too long there,It could be a terrible love trap...
For it's not my duty to warn you,But it's indeed yours to learn...Celebrate, revel and flirt with these,Or fester, perish and burn...
It's a powerful thing, this magic,to know how far to go...To either from a safe distance watch,or keep coming back for more...
So pick carefully and wisely,your words and silence too...Used right, your days it can fill with bliss,when wrong, your hearts with rue...
People who know me know how mentally stimulating I find conversation. I like to stay amidst talking people, in noisy places, amidst friendly chatter. It makes me feel alive. Being a part of the crowd offers a strange kind of security, a solace that everyone is moving along with you. The only time I appreciate some quiet is either when I am having a splitting headache or when I am reading a book.
However, last weekend I experienced something unique. I was talking to a group of friends, and all of a sudden, I felt this need to separate myself from the incessant banter. I wanted to focus on something far away. It was not that the conversation wasn't interesting. Our conversations are always fun. But there was a part of my mind that was trying to focus on something else...a clock ticking on a wall at the far end corner of the cafe, the sound of the blades of the whirring fan above us, the swish swooshing made by opening and closing movements of the door. What felt absurd was that these were sounds that I hardly paid any attention to in the past...noises that are drowned out in the din at a common place setting.
However yesterday I was straining to notice them. It was as if I had enough of the obvious and now wanted to explore the ignored...as if my ears were craving to hear the sounds of silence.
Perhaps my friends noticed my distracted behavior and we called it wraps earlier than usual. On the way home, I was ruminating over this unnatural reaction of mine, but still couldn't place any reason to it. Maybe I'm just turning old and senile, I humored myself. But there was another part of me that was still trying to detach myself from thinking too hard.
It was around 9 pm by the time I got home. I headed straight to my room. A half read novel was lying on the bed. As habit would have it, I was tempted to pick it up. But I refrained. I switched off my cell phone, turned off the TV, opened the windows to my room and waited, eyes closed. How long since I had last done that? How long since I had tried to drive away all the clutter that occupied my mind?
How long since I had stopped to appreciate the sound of silence?
I flinched with the realization. Could it be that my mind was trying to tell me something? Did a mental freeze mean that my brain, my body was asking me to slow down?
Are we not acquainted so much to the superficiality that we forget to notice the deeper essentials? If we peel back the superficial layers of our life---the frenzy, the confusion----a calm stillness awaits.
A cold breeze brushed against my face. I tried to distract myself from the occasional sound of traffic on the street in front of my house. It took me some time to adjust myself.
As I stood there, chafing the pristine silence from the chaos, I heard the rustling of leaves, the faint mewing of our neighbour's cat (I wasn't even aware they had a cat until then), a faint familiar tune playing on a radio station in some parked car somewhere in the distance----soft signs of satisfaction that the mind searches for every once in a while. It was breath taking, this experience.
I wanted to explore the beauty of that stillness.
I wanted to be one with this magic of silence!
The moment felt so fragile that I wanted to preserve it for eternity. But letting it go was necessary...for me to experience it all over again.
And so let go I did, with the promise of a visit soon...very soon.
For words are a powerful addiction,and silence a complicated affair...Each in company and in solitude, a magic one dare not share...
So discover your learning moment,a time freeze or wrap...But don't you dare stay too long there,It could be a terrible love trap...
For it's not my duty to warn you,But it's indeed yours to learn...Celebrate, revel and flirt with these,Or fester, perish and burn...
It's a powerful thing, this magic,to know how far to go...To either from a safe distance watch,or keep coming back for more...
So pick carefully and wisely,your words and silence too...Used right, your days it can fill with bliss,when wrong, your hearts with rue...
January 11, 2015
Your love---a double edged sword
It keeps me safe. I can feel it surround me like a sheath at times. The memory of our last time together. So many things that needed to be said, yet refused to roll out on my tongue.
You had your suitcase packet. You were ready to leave. And I...
I can still see myself leaning against that light green wall, wondering how time could have been so cruel to fly away so easily. You were leaving for your city, that had ironically become my city now. That was the only link we would have between us in the years to come...that, and a painful sense of nostalgia we would associate each other with.
" I will miss you," I said. I had wanted to say something else.
"How do you know that? I'm not even gone yet," you smiled.
I smiled back trying to ignore the tears that were forming in my eyes. In my mind, you had left already. In my heart, we had parted. You knew that too, but perhaps wanted to make light of the moment. Or perhaps you thought it wouldn't be the last time we were meeting. But all I noticed then was that you hadn't said you would miss me as well. I waited...
Once again, you had nothing to say.
I had a million things to tell you. I thought I'd see you off. But as luck had it, I couldn't. I did not have any right to. That day a lot of things stayed pending.
I longed to hug you and say goodbye. But I did not. How could a hug matter when you know you are never going to see the person again? Ironically, I guess I kept wishing it wouldn't be the end.
In the years that followed, I went through this version of our last meeting several times over. Sometimes it made me laugh. The juvenile parting card, the silly gift, the way I behaved around you might have all seemed like unwanted drama. But there are very few precious moments I have of us...and no matter how immature they may seem in hindsight, it still hurts to let them go.
You set the bar high...so high that lowering it seems impossible now. Is it possible to make up a sacrosanct memory from bits and pieces of our imagination? Could it be that I have plastered the chips and deficits of your flawed image with fragments of an imagined perfection, thereby placing you on some sort of pedestal? Sometimes I wonder if I have imagined it all. Do you really exist or was it all a dream? Then I recall that moment buried in time.
That day, you had nothing to say.
Someday, I hope to find the right words.
Until then your love will continue to be this double edged sword, and my love will gladly bleed...
You had your suitcase packet. You were ready to leave. And I...
I can still see myself leaning against that light green wall, wondering how time could have been so cruel to fly away so easily. You were leaving for your city, that had ironically become my city now. That was the only link we would have between us in the years to come...that, and a painful sense of nostalgia we would associate each other with.
" I will miss you," I said. I had wanted to say something else.
"How do you know that? I'm not even gone yet," you smiled.
I smiled back trying to ignore the tears that were forming in my eyes. In my mind, you had left already. In my heart, we had parted. You knew that too, but perhaps wanted to make light of the moment. Or perhaps you thought it wouldn't be the last time we were meeting. But all I noticed then was that you hadn't said you would miss me as well. I waited...
Once again, you had nothing to say.
I had a million things to tell you. I thought I'd see you off. But as luck had it, I couldn't. I did not have any right to. That day a lot of things stayed pending.
I longed to hug you and say goodbye. But I did not. How could a hug matter when you know you are never going to see the person again? Ironically, I guess I kept wishing it wouldn't be the end.
In the years that followed, I went through this version of our last meeting several times over. Sometimes it made me laugh. The juvenile parting card, the silly gift, the way I behaved around you might have all seemed like unwanted drama. But there are very few precious moments I have of us...and no matter how immature they may seem in hindsight, it still hurts to let them go.
You set the bar high...so high that lowering it seems impossible now. Is it possible to make up a sacrosanct memory from bits and pieces of our imagination? Could it be that I have plastered the chips and deficits of your flawed image with fragments of an imagined perfection, thereby placing you on some sort of pedestal? Sometimes I wonder if I have imagined it all. Do you really exist or was it all a dream? Then I recall that moment buried in time.
That day, you had nothing to say.Someday, I hope to find the right words.
Until then your love will continue to be this double edged sword, and my love will gladly bleed...
January 7, 2015
Ours is not to reason why...
If we thought we had put the terror and gruesome crimes behind us in 2014, and stepped into a fresh year--a harbinger of mutual love and world peace, then we got to think again.
The past, as they say, can never leave us alone. Come 2015, we have fresh headlines reiterating haunting catastrophies of the past gift wrapped in new bloody paper. Terrorism has raised its ugly head on a global scale. For those of you who haven't got it, I'm talking about the heinous Charlie Hebdo attack that ocurred yesterday morning. A terrorist attack of exceptional barbarity, this is believed to be the deadliest attack in France since 1961,
The attack took place at the magazine's daily morning editorial meeting where three gunmen entered and opened fire shouting "We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad" and "God is Great" in Arabic.Twelve people including the editor and cartoonists, and security were killed on the spot, while many were injured. The gun men have then said to have escaped in a car that was abandoned at a distance.
I heard this news yesterday evening. While TV headlines screamed out the ghastliness of the attack, the video footage of a cop being shot point blank were going viral, the entire world was expressing their condolences and solidarity towards the bereaved families of those killed.
Today morning came with the news that the youngest of the perpetrators had surrendered. Mint India has expressed support by republishing cartoons that were published in Charlie Hebdo. While Barrack Obama expressed his sympathies, every single person in the world seemed to be tweeting or facebook(ing) about what had happened.
But how long before this is forgotten? Weren't we clucking our tongues and expressing disgust about the Peshavar firing, about the Nirbhaya rape case, about the suicide bombings in Yemen, about the uncountable acid attacks, about the ever growing list of horrendous crimes in the world? Do you still remember the gory details of each? Hasn't the rage for yesterday's monstrosity simmered down with newer and more shocking crimes replacing them instead?
I remember the untimely death of Sunanda Pushkar (a well known socialite and wife of MP and minister of state and human resources development, Shashi Tharoor) a year back. How the whole world had been fretting and screaming foul. I was one of the countless people who thought there was more to it than an overdose of sleeping pills. But what can one say when the forensic reports and police investigations dismiss the matter as an open-and-shut-case? The public outcry faded. The Tv reporters hushed down. Her soul was said to be resting in peace. Who dares unruffle the calm of the dead?
Cut to present day. The case has been reopened. News headlines claim that there is evidence of foul play. The viscera has been sent for further investigation. I recall this post I had written back then. Today, I have lots more to say. But I choose not to. Why? Because I am no longer sure if it matters anymore. Justice delayed is justice denied.
I feel amused at the headlines which even now are being very careful with their words. It's evident that power-play reigns supreme. Then why has the case been reopened? To give us a hope to believe Only time will tell.
So many lives, the team at Charlie Hebdo , Sunanda Pushkar, the innocent children and their teachers at the Peshavar school, Bhavani-the woman who lost her life in Bangalore's bomb blast, and countless others who have been once mentioned and forgotten who is to account for them all?
On the flip side, there is Sakshi Maharaj asking people to procreate more. Makes me want to believe he has lost his mind, the poor guy.
Ironically, in today's world, where more is (made) less in a matter of seconds, wouldn't it be ideal to stop propagating the human race instead of destroying it?
The past, as they say, can never leave us alone. Come 2015, we have fresh headlines reiterating haunting catastrophies of the past gift wrapped in new bloody paper. Terrorism has raised its ugly head on a global scale. For those of you who haven't got it, I'm talking about the heinous Charlie Hebdo attack that ocurred yesterday morning. A terrorist attack of exceptional barbarity, this is believed to be the deadliest attack in France since 1961,
The attack took place at the magazine's daily morning editorial meeting where three gunmen entered and opened fire shouting "We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad" and "God is Great" in Arabic.Twelve people including the editor and cartoonists, and security were killed on the spot, while many were injured. The gun men have then said to have escaped in a car that was abandoned at a distance.I heard this news yesterday evening. While TV headlines screamed out the ghastliness of the attack, the video footage of a cop being shot point blank were going viral, the entire world was expressing their condolences and solidarity towards the bereaved families of those killed.
Today morning came with the news that the youngest of the perpetrators had surrendered. Mint India has expressed support by republishing cartoons that were published in Charlie Hebdo. While Barrack Obama expressed his sympathies, every single person in the world seemed to be tweeting or facebook(ing) about what had happened.
But how long before this is forgotten? Weren't we clucking our tongues and expressing disgust about the Peshavar firing, about the Nirbhaya rape case, about the suicide bombings in Yemen, about the uncountable acid attacks, about the ever growing list of horrendous crimes in the world? Do you still remember the gory details of each? Hasn't the rage for yesterday's monstrosity simmered down with newer and more shocking crimes replacing them instead?
I remember the untimely death of Sunanda Pushkar (a well known socialite and wife of MP and minister of state and human resources development, Shashi Tharoor) a year back. How the whole world had been fretting and screaming foul. I was one of the countless people who thought there was more to it than an overdose of sleeping pills. But what can one say when the forensic reports and police investigations dismiss the matter as an open-and-shut-case? The public outcry faded. The Tv reporters hushed down. Her soul was said to be resting in peace. Who dares unruffle the calm of the dead?
Cut to present day. The case has been reopened. News headlines claim that there is evidence of foul play. The viscera has been sent for further investigation. I recall this post I had written back then. Today, I have lots more to say. But I choose not to. Why? Because I am no longer sure if it matters anymore. Justice delayed is justice denied.
I feel amused at the headlines which even now are being very careful with their words. It's evident that power-play reigns supreme. Then why has the case been reopened? To give us a hope to believe Only time will tell.
So many lives, the team at Charlie Hebdo , Sunanda Pushkar, the innocent children and their teachers at the Peshavar school, Bhavani-the woman who lost her life in Bangalore's bomb blast, and countless others who have been once mentioned and forgotten who is to account for them all?
On the flip side, there is Sakshi Maharaj asking people to procreate more. Makes me want to believe he has lost his mind, the poor guy.
Ironically, in today's world, where more is (made) less in a matter of seconds, wouldn't it be ideal to stop propagating the human race instead of destroying it?
"Ours is not to reason why,ours is but to do and die..."~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
January 1, 2015
Lets get started
And yes, we are in 2015!
Another year has come and gone. We bid goodbye to 2014. We came to terms with the fact that the year (along with its share of good, bad and ugly) is never coming back, and we gracefully entered the new year by clinking our glasses and googling 'New Year' quotes to tweet.
So now that the excitement has faded and the first day novelty has simmered down, we are back to routine again. Does anyone recall where they kept their resolution list? Mine must be there somewhere, under some pillow or table top. (I swear I haven't lost it...the list I mean. It must be there somewhere.)
Anyhoo, what do we want for ourselves this New Year? Do we really know or do we need a 'Mirror of Erised' to tell us? I really liked the idea of 'Secret Santa' this Christmas. I was secretly wishing my secret Santa to be my publisher and so I had asked for a higher royalty on my recently released novel 'Twists Of Fate'. But there was nothing like that. Maybe I was misinformed about it being just a silent prayer technique, or perhaps the 'Secret Santa' thing really worked and they actually contacted my publisher who blatantly refused to agree to my small little wish. I would never know...Sigh! ("Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die" )
Sheesh! Digression takes up most of my time. Let's come back to what I want this 2015---
I want to read more. I want to find time for lots of books. Reading can never be enough. But I have a goal of at least a hundred books this year. I hope I can exceed that. Cheers to this reading challenge.I want to blog and blog hop more regularly. You, who have apparently lost interest in reading 'Nostalgic Moments'---I miss you and I want you back! I am guilty of being out of the loop but I'm here now and you will see me writing home at least thrice every week (if not more.)I want to eat healthy. Hold it, this doesn't mean I am going to swallow a can of spinach every day or skip my meals for a skinny salad. (Let's be realistic.) It just means no snacking in between. (and that my friends, is a BIG deal for yours truly). I want to complete the manuscript for my second novel. It's in my mind right now. I hope to get it out on paper soon. Knowing what an elaborate and tiresome journey it is to get a book published, would I do it all over again? Most definitely yes! *blush*I want to get fit not fat. Err...the less said about this the better! I want to learn a new language this year. A real language mindya.I want to keep my mind and heart open to new things and people. I want to spend more time with people I love and those who love me. I want to chuck out emotionally draining and negative influences from my life and surround myself with positive energy.I want my baby 'Twists Of Fate' to reach out to a lot of people. This is something I can only hope will happen...because it needs cooperation from a lot of links in between. There is my publisher, the distributor, the book store owner, the online book carts, and most importantly, YOU, the reader! I hope you will give it a read, and if you like it, please do spread the word. Amazon.in http://bit.ly/priyankanaik
Flipkart: http://bit.ly/1yT8L I want to laugh more, worry less and live better. I haven't yet found the perfect key to this. But I intend to keep searching. I would only be happy if you'd want to join.and last but not the least, I want to stick to this 'To-Do' list. I know how tough it is to abide by resolutions. Heck, we all know that. In fact, my resolution list included a hundred odd few more things. But I just can't seem to find where I place it. I guess the universe is conspiring to help preserve only the resolutions that are most important.
So throw aside that list (for those who haven't lost it already), close your eyes, clear your mind of the clutter, and realize which New Year goals come back to you.(Share them in your comment while you are at it.)Then gear up, buckle your seat belts and get on this 2015 ride with me.Cliched but true, here's another chance for us to get it right...
Love, Smiles and New Year Cheer!!!
Another year has come and gone. We bid goodbye to 2014. We came to terms with the fact that the year (along with its share of good, bad and ugly) is never coming back, and we gracefully entered the new year by clinking our glasses and googling 'New Year' quotes to tweet.
So now that the excitement has faded and the first day novelty has simmered down, we are back to routine again. Does anyone recall where they kept their resolution list? Mine must be there somewhere, under some pillow or table top. (I swear I haven't lost it...the list I mean. It must be there somewhere.)
Anyhoo, what do we want for ourselves this New Year? Do we really know or do we need a 'Mirror of Erised' to tell us? I really liked the idea of 'Secret Santa' this Christmas. I was secretly wishing my secret Santa to be my publisher and so I had asked for a higher royalty on my recently released novel 'Twists Of Fate'. But there was nothing like that. Maybe I was misinformed about it being just a silent prayer technique, or perhaps the 'Secret Santa' thing really worked and they actually contacted my publisher who blatantly refused to agree to my small little wish. I would never know...Sigh! ("Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die" )
Sheesh! Digression takes up most of my time. Let's come back to what I want this 2015---
I want to read more. I want to find time for lots of books. Reading can never be enough. But I have a goal of at least a hundred books this year. I hope I can exceed that. Cheers to this reading challenge.I want to blog and blog hop more regularly. You, who have apparently lost interest in reading 'Nostalgic Moments'---I miss you and I want you back! I am guilty of being out of the loop but I'm here now and you will see me writing home at least thrice every week (if not more.)I want to eat healthy. Hold it, this doesn't mean I am going to swallow a can of spinach every day or skip my meals for a skinny salad. (Let's be realistic.) It just means no snacking in between. (and that my friends, is a BIG deal for yours truly). I want to complete the manuscript for my second novel. It's in my mind right now. I hope to get it out on paper soon. Knowing what an elaborate and tiresome journey it is to get a book published, would I do it all over again? Most definitely yes! *blush*I want to get fit not fat. Err...the less said about this the better! I want to learn a new language this year. A real language mindya.I want to keep my mind and heart open to new things and people. I want to spend more time with people I love and those who love me. I want to chuck out emotionally draining and negative influences from my life and surround myself with positive energy.I want my baby 'Twists Of Fate' to reach out to a lot of people. This is something I can only hope will happen...because it needs cooperation from a lot of links in between. There is my publisher, the distributor, the book store owner, the online book carts, and most importantly, YOU, the reader! I hope you will give it a read, and if you like it, please do spread the word. Amazon.in http://bit.ly/priyankanaik
Flipkart: http://bit.ly/1yT8L I want to laugh more, worry less and live better. I haven't yet found the perfect key to this. But I intend to keep searching. I would only be happy if you'd want to join.and last but not the least, I want to stick to this 'To-Do' list. I know how tough it is to abide by resolutions. Heck, we all know that. In fact, my resolution list included a hundred odd few more things. But I just can't seem to find where I place it. I guess the universe is conspiring to help preserve only the resolutions that are most important.
So throw aside that list (for those who haven't lost it already), close your eyes, clear your mind of the clutter, and realize which New Year goals come back to you.(Share them in your comment while you are at it.)Then gear up, buckle your seat belts and get on this 2015 ride with me.Cliched but true, here's another chance for us to get it right...
Love, Smiles and New Year Cheer!!!
December 14, 2014
Flash fiction: 'Followed...'
.
A cloth purse slung over her delicate shoulder and a iPhone in hand, Trina was walking back home. It was late evening. The street lights were dim and the alley was dark when suddenly she realized someone was following her.
Her pace quickened. She wanted to reach home fast.
Just then, another follower.
She wondered why this was happening today. She was the plain Jane...the girl next door. .any kind of attention surprised her.
Two minutes later, someone else joined the followers. This time she noticed it was her colleague Akash from work.
He hardly looked at her in the office...and now...what was he doing following her? There was a strange mix of anxiety and uneasiness creeping within her.
She thought for a moment and typed furiously on her cell phone.
'I think...' she paused, then continued typing, '...I am going to be the next big celebrity around here. #feelinglucky
*************
Tweet sent!!
She smiled and checked her notifications again. Her boss had just 'favorited' her latest update. She was home. It was time to log in from her desktop!
A cloth purse slung over her delicate shoulder and a iPhone in hand, Trina was walking back home. It was late evening. The street lights were dim and the alley was dark when suddenly she realized someone was following her. Her pace quickened. She wanted to reach home fast.
Just then, another follower.
She wondered why this was happening today. She was the plain Jane...the girl next door. .any kind of attention surprised her.
Two minutes later, someone else joined the followers. This time she noticed it was her colleague Akash from work.
He hardly looked at her in the office...and now...what was he doing following her? There was a strange mix of anxiety and uneasiness creeping within her.
She thought for a moment and typed furiously on her cell phone.
'I think...' she paused, then continued typing, '...I am going to be the next big celebrity around here. #feelinglucky
*************
Tweet sent!!
She smiled and checked her notifications again. Her boss had just 'favorited' her latest update. She was home. It was time to log in from her desktop!
November 30, 2014
Short story: The kiss of love
"It's going to rain. Let's leave from here. It looks like the skies are brewing up a storm," Asif voiced his concern.
"I don't mind facing any tempest as long as you are there with me," whispered Adaa, her soft eyes gazing longingly into his.
They were two young souls madly in love with each other...Asif and Adaa. Every evening, they would visit their favorite spot, sit on the same park bench and discuss their insecure future, the constant threat that loomed over them owing to the one innocent crime they had committed...the crime called 'love'.
The conservative mindset of their own orthodox families had made it even worse. Coming from two different Muslim backgrounds, they were innocent victims of the 'Shia-Sunni' hatred that existed in most of Lucknow those days.
"They won't let us live, Adaa. I have tried to convince them in every possible way," Asif pointed out. He was well aware of the barbaric nature of the punishment that would lie in store for them.
There was a determined look in Adaa's iridescent eyes, a mixture of passion, helplessness and rebellion. She brushed the tear rolling down Asif's cheek, and held his rugged face lovingly in her delicate hands.
"Then there is only one option left for us," she said ruefully, fishing out a small bottle of cyanide from her hand bag.
They were found lifeless the next morning on the same park bench. A mad beggar said that he had seen them kiss after which they held each other's hand and closed their eyes---the same peaceful condition their bodies were discovered in. But the two families paid no heed to his mumbles. They ruthlessly separated the two bodies from each other and used their contacts to close the case.
Even today, residents of the town claim that they see two spirits hover near the park bench every stormy night.
Asif and Adaa knew that their love would never be accepted. Not wanting to lose each other, they had decided to take this one final step...they had decided to submit to the tempest together.
Finally they are in a better place where societal norms and taboos are not important, where religion, castes and sects do not matter...where love is the only religion!
November 19, 2014
Sample chapter from 'Twists Of Fate'
Chapter 10Mrunmayee gazes at her reflection in the mirror and cringes on realizing that the pink top would have suited Nandini more. She needs to lose a little weight around the shoulders, and it fits a little too snugly over her ample bosom, making her look like she might spill out any moment. She had tried on a deep purple kurti earlier, which on the other hand, had fit her just fine. But there was something about the pink top that allured her. She had overheard Nandini talk about it with the sales person in charge and had immediately asked him to hand it over to her to try on.It's funny how our desires often tend to circle around the whims and fancies of others rather than the self. One school of thought has a convincing explanation that this is because we live in a society that makes us want to be pleasing to others more than the self--a rather selfless trait, so to think. But then there is this other theory which eventually concludes that we do all of this to please no one but the self...because praise and compliments are what the devil thrives on, and we are in no significant way any different.Mrunmayee changes back into her sari and walks out of the changing room with nothing but the pink top in hand surprising the sales person who goes inside the trial room to collect all the discarded choices mentally cursing all womankind for their indecisive nature.“Is something wrong? You look as pale as a ghost,” she asks a flummoxed Nandini who seems to be now lost in a whirlpool of mixed emotions.“It's nothing. I actually remembered there is some other place that I need to be.” Nandini pauses and then hastily blurts, “Your husband said he would be here in ten minutes.”“Are you sure you are okay? You do look a little flushed,” asks Mrunmayee, still a little confused.“Oh yes. I am perfectly fine. Just need to catch up with a few friends and make up for a busy week. You have a great anniversary.”“I can understand,” she sighs. “Neil, my husband, is constantly swamped with work too. It's only weekends that we get to spend quality time with friends and each other.”Then watching Nandini fidget with her purse she bids her farewell, not wanting to delay her anymore.“It was lovely meeting you. Thanks for all the trouble. I'll keep in touch...”“Sure.” Nandini smiles feebly. She says goodbye to Mrunmayee and rushes away from the scene.While on her way out of the mall, she senses an acrid distaste in her throat and an urgent need to throw up.Nandini rushes to the nearby washroom. A sense of relief floods through her body, to find an unoccupied cubicle. As she flushes out the bitter taste of bile from her system, she wishes she could do the same to the equally bitter hatred that she has been harbouring towards the woman for all these years.The fascination...the admiration...the marvel...the novel appreciation for this lady disappears, just like the keen interest in befriending her. Mrunmayee's neatness...fashion sense...organized behavior...feminine etiquette, all seem suddenly so fake and manipulative now.It is ridiculous how biased bias can be. Everyone, at some point in life, encounters it--in the bitterness of defeat, in the envy of success, in the happiness of someone we consider less worthy. It is absurd how envy makes people pick up pointless and baseless faults in those they had once appreciated. What is even weirder is how some choose to cleverly mask it, like a zit concealed with loads of makeup, unaware that with time it is sure to wear off and reveal its ugly self.Nandini does not wear makeup. Somewhere down the line, she had lost faith in all things made up.Now confined within the four walls of the bathroom cubicle, amidst salty tears and faded memories, she recollects all those times she has promised herself not to fall weak. But when has life been predictable? It has its own plans, that only time can unfold…Neil had not recognized her voice, though there was a sudden pause on hearing her speak.But Nandini, how could she not know it was him??The smell of phenol and the restless foot tapping of the women waiting outside does not allow her to stay in there for a long time--the limitations of a public restroom.Dabbing her eyes dry, Nandini scurries out of the phenol and makeup scented atmosphere and steps out into the long corridors which would further lead to the exit of the plaza.As she crosses CBTL on the way out, flashes of the past come to life before her downcast eyes as if the clean mopped marble flooring is a plasma screen featuring her life in motion picture. She tries hard to push away the scenes. But the pause button fails to please her, and the reel only manages to play faster. No amount of pushing any button in the dark recesses of her mind manages to eject this relentless recording, and she is forced to go back to that day she confronted Neil…their last meeting, as if it just happened yesterday. It was exactly a month after Sharvari's wedding.“Byomkesh Da called yesterday. He and Protima Boudi want to meet us regarding the children. Debojit has grown up into a fine young man, and I am sure he will keep Nandini very happy. It would only be wise to say yes,” Mr Mazumdar discussed with his wife over dinner.Something about the Joshi wedding had evoked a sudden sense of parental responsibility in them. It was as if the differences between husband and wife had decreased, and their daughter had become the focus of their joint attention. Nandini did not know whether to be happy or sad about it.“And it's not like Nandu can find a good boy for herself like our Appu did. With her shy and timid nature, we would have to wait for a hundred years before someone comes and professes his love for her,” he grimaced.Aparna had married Atul after three years of clandestine courtship. At first, her decision had raised a huge hue and cry at the Mazumdar house. However, all had gone well after Atul had convinced them that he and his wife would live separately after marriage, instead of with his parents in their humble home. The loan for the house had already been sanctioned, a fact that Aparna had confirmed before she agreed to marry him. Atul's poor parents had been distraught over their only son's decision, but they had bestowed their blessings on the couple anyway. However, neither Aparna nor Atul had tried to persuade them to attend the marriage, acting totally indifferent to the hurt they caused to their breaking hearts. Mr and Mrs Mazumdar had not even noticed their absence. They were only too pleased at their daughter's organized planning that had roped in a worthy groom who would dance around her little finger.However, with Nandini next in line now, they were worried. They believed their younger daughter's reserved nature and self righteousness were uncharismatic traits, unworthy of attracting any male attention without their help.Nandini wanted to scream at them, tell them that they need not worry, that she had already found a very good match for herself, someone much better than their stupid Debojit Chatterjee. Instead, she ran off to her room and cried all night. She could not wait for Neil to take the lead anymore. She would have to confess to him; she was so sure the idiot was too shy to ask her out. She had caught him stealing glances at her at Sharvari's wedding. Over time, he had grown to be so fond of her. Nandini had grown to be a close friend. If Sharvari and Adarsh could realize they were in love with each other in such a short time, surely Neil too must have recognized his feelings for her, she thought. Weren't the endless conversations between them proof enough that they cared? After all, love is often revealed by the mundane gestures of day to day life. You don't need to scream out your feelings. When it's love, you just know…and Nandini knew! However, it was only when she spoke to Neil that she realized how little...“B..ut…but Nandu,” he stammered, startled by her sudden confession, “You n...never told me...”A tear rolled down her cheek. “I thought you always knew. Neil, I have had feelings for you ever since I realized the meaning of love, and somewhere down the line, I thought you understood…and reciprocated.”Neil did not know what to say. It was true that he and Nandini had become good friends over the years. It was Nandini's constant phone texts and cheerful calls that helped him through a rough day at his new job. She would be the first one to wish him on birthdays and other occasions, sometimes even before family. He would counsel her, guide her, advice her. She would in turn listen to him rant about his seniors, complain about his team and justify his dilemmas. Nandini was aware of Neil's weakness—his lack of strength when it came to making decisions. She believed he too harboured a silent love, just like the one she had been hiding in her heart. Neil knew that Nandini had learned to face her own demons in life. It was this truth that always made him feel protective towards her, and the fact that his friendship meant the world to her, meant a great deal to him.“Friendship? Is that all there is between us??” she asked. She had never believed in an overt display of affection. If Sharvari and Pari could have guessed her feelings for Neil years ago at fifteen, how could Neil be so blind even after all these years?Looking at his flustered expression, she could not stop the tears from streaming down her face. “Neil, my parents want to get me married to some man I don't even know. I can't imagine a future without you. In my thoughts, I am already Mrs Nandini Neil Joshi since the day I fell in love,” she panicked.She covered her face with both her hands as if she had mustered all the courage in her shivering body to say all that she wanted. Neil was now staring at her in surprise. He had never heard Nandu speak with such conviction before. Where did she hide all this passion, all these emotions?“Nandini, I know you are a very sensible girl. I have always respected your maturity. If you think with a clear mind, you will see that I am not the best guy to be in love with.”“You are perfect for me...” she was still sobbing.Neil wanted to hold her trembling body. For a moment, he felt a strange attraction for her vulnerability. He wanted to calm her down, hold in his arms and console this graceful creature who was so enamoured by him. He was tempted to fall in love with her.But would that kind of love be strong enough to break the shackles of rigid orthodox? Would her passion help her surpass the permanent sea of mediocrity he was living in? Could this affluent 'Malabar Hill' girl be happy with a middle class 'Shivaji Park' boy like him? Neil felt like he was at both ends of these questions. He could imagine an uptown girl challenging him in the same tone someday. He could understand how much it would hurt then. But he could not make up his mind…he had felt his emotions scatter especially after the confusion that had set in lately.Too many doubts were subconsciously creating havoc inside his head. He wanted to ask her how, where, and when it had all happened. However, his heart was posing other questions. Was he guilty of sending out mixed signals? Or had something changed between them? Was he really afraid to confess his feelings? Or was he facing an emotional dilemma between the head and the heart? Had his heart never felt a thing for this girl baring her soul in front of him, or was it having second thoughts of late? He wanted to ask a lot of questions…to Nandini…to himself…to his conscience. But he was too embarrassed to find out the answers.“No, Nandu, it's not possible. It's never going to work out.”“B...ut Why not?” She was being adamant now.Again, he controlled the strong urge to tell her the truth.“Neil, I love you!”She had finally said it. She had mustered up all the courage inside her to utter the three golden words she had rehearsed saying in front of the mirror so many times before. She felt a strange weight leave her shoulders--a weight that had been pressing upon her all this while as if the entire world was balanced on its tender support. She felt relieved yet apprehensive, nervous yet excited, tense yet happy, brazen yet bashful; a flurry of young emotions created ripples within her as she caught his gaze and lowered her eyes almost instantaneously.The air above them had suddenly started feeling heavy, the tension palpable.“N..Nandu, you don't understand,” Neil stammered, indecisive whether to continue or not.A pregnant pause later, he let out a defeated sigh and said, “There is someone else...”
-----------------------------------------------------------------'Twists Of Fate' is available at Flipkart and Amazon.in Fb page: http://facebook.com/TOFthenovelYou can view the video trailer here: video
November 5, 2014
Quote #2 from 'Twists Of Fate'
Hey guys,
Do you remember the childhood games we used to play? Snakes & Ladders, Hide & Seek, Chinese Whispers...we have so much fun playing these as kids.
And then we grow up, and all these games change meaning!
At times we have to befriend a few 'snakes' to climb a few 'ladders'...
Sometimes we hide and wait to see who will come searching...
Chinese whispers, the game we played in school, changes into a more dangerous game in society...
Sharvari, Pari, and Nandini are finally here...to tell their story!
You can now order your copy at Flipkart:
http://www.flipkart.com/twists-fate-english/p/itmefaa9gna7zhzg?pid=9789350881002&otracker=from-search&srno=t_1&query=twists+of+fate%2Bpriyanka+naik&ref=7509b88d-e62f-4aa3-bd57-e640a428ed5b
Also available at Amazon.in and Infibeam.
(You can check the official facebook page for other updates: http://facebook.com/TOFthenovel )
As a part of the blog world for the last so many years, I hope I have the support of all you past, present and future residents of BlogVille. :)
Do spread the word around.
Cheers!
October 30, 2014
Quote #1 from 'Twists Of Fate'
Sharing a moment from between the pages of my debut novel 'Twists Of Fate' for you all...
Now available on:
AMAZON.IN
http://www.amazon.in/TWISTS-OF-FATE-Priyanka-Naik/dp/9350881004/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414489478&sr=8-1&keywords=twists+of+fate%2Bpriyanka+naik
INFIBEAM:
http://www.infibeam.com/Books/twists-fate-priyanka-naik/9789350881002.html?utm_term=priyanka+naik+twists+of+fate_1_1
Sharvari, Pari, and Nandini are waiting for you to read their story...
Now available on: AMAZON.IN
http://www.amazon.in/TWISTS-OF-FATE-Priyanka-Naik/dp/9350881004/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414489478&sr=8-1&keywords=twists+of+fate%2Bpriyanka+naik
INFIBEAM:
http://www.infibeam.com/Books/twists-fate-priyanka-naik/9789350881002.html?utm_term=priyanka+naik+twists+of+fate_1_1
Sharvari, Pari, and Nandini are waiting for you to read their story...
October 21, 2014
Happy wali Diwali to you
Wishing you all a very happy Diwali. May this festival light up your face with a million watt smile that finds a zillion reasons to stay forever! :)
