Steven Donahue's Blog: Books and Stuff, page 2
September 5, 2013
Remembering Our Angel
Today is the one-year anniversary of the loss of our son, Ryan Matthew Donahue.
I miss him every day.
He was stillborn at 20 weeks on Sept. 5, 2012. I held him in my arms that morning in the hospital and wished by some miracle that he could have survived. But we were not granted a miracle.
I miss talking about him in the present tense, like my wife Dawn and I did when she was still pregnant with him. I miss talking about what we had planned for him. Little things, like the theme of his nursery, to big things, like what religion he would be taught. Beforehand, I had imagined what it would be like to take him to school, toss a football to him at a park, read my favorite kid’s books to him, and watch him smile, learn and grow.
Our loss was understandably devastating. Things like this typically tear a couple apart or bring them closer together. There were times when I thought that Dawn and I would not survive the loss, and I’m sure she felt the same way. We are still together today and I hope we have many years ahead of us. But we had to endure intense suffering that no one can understand unless they have lost a child of their own.
My wife channeled her pain into a poignant book titled Because I am Ryan’s Mommy. In it, she shares her grief and her healing in heartbreaking and inspiring detail. She is stronger than she realizes, and her strength grows each day. I am stronger for having known her.
Time hasn’t healed us yet. Maybe it never will. We have planted a tree in Ryan’s memory. I hope it grows into a sturdy being, its branches reaching toward the sky. I like to think his spirit is around us everyday, that he is watching over us they way we would have watched over him.
I miss my son and if there is a Heaven, I look forward to seeing him again someday.
I miss him every day.
He was stillborn at 20 weeks on Sept. 5, 2012. I held him in my arms that morning in the hospital and wished by some miracle that he could have survived. But we were not granted a miracle.
I miss talking about him in the present tense, like my wife Dawn and I did when she was still pregnant with him. I miss talking about what we had planned for him. Little things, like the theme of his nursery, to big things, like what religion he would be taught. Beforehand, I had imagined what it would be like to take him to school, toss a football to him at a park, read my favorite kid’s books to him, and watch him smile, learn and grow.
Our loss was understandably devastating. Things like this typically tear a couple apart or bring them closer together. There were times when I thought that Dawn and I would not survive the loss, and I’m sure she felt the same way. We are still together today and I hope we have many years ahead of us. But we had to endure intense suffering that no one can understand unless they have lost a child of their own.
My wife channeled her pain into a poignant book titled Because I am Ryan’s Mommy. In it, she shares her grief and her healing in heartbreaking and inspiring detail. She is stronger than she realizes, and her strength grows each day. I am stronger for having known her.
Time hasn’t healed us yet. Maybe it never will. We have planted a tree in Ryan’s memory. I hope it grows into a sturdy being, its branches reaching toward the sky. I like to think his spirit is around us everyday, that he is watching over us they way we would have watched over him.
I miss my son and if there is a Heaven, I look forward to seeing him again someday.
June 29, 2013
How to Recognize and Get Out of An Abusive Relationship
Below is an article that I wrote on domestic violence in 2007. Sadly, little has changed since then.
What qualifies as domestic abuse? According to the website www.domesticviolence.org, it is a person's attempt to control someone in a relationship through various words and actions. Therefore, it can be more than just physical harm to the victim. It can also be verbal threats, constant criticism, isolation from family and friends, and attempts to keep the victim financially dependent on the abuser by cutting off access to funds or employment.
Domestic violence has no economic or cultural boundaries. It occurs in all racial, economic and social groups, including married couples, same-sex partners, senior citizens, and teen and young adult daters. The website www.endabuse.org says that close to one-third of American woman have reported some kind of physical or sexual abuse by a partner; and that the worldwide figure is about the same. However, domestic violence is not just a "women's issue." According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, while there are more than 5 million occurrences of intimate partner violence against women each year, there are also more than 3 million occurrences of violence against men.
In January, 2006, President Bush signed the Violence Against Women Act 2005, which is designed to reverse this trend by authorizing funds for various programs, including those that provide emergency services for victims, training for health care providers in assisting victims, and the promotion of non-violent solutions to youths, according to www.endabuse.org. However, the money allotted to these programs must be approved yearly by Congress, a step our lawmakers must take to ensure that these critical programs are allowed to flourish. Voters should contact their representatives and tell them to continue to fund these initiatives, and not to let partisan politics interfere with their implementation.
Another useful tool in our nation's efforts to end domestic violence would be the creation of a domestic violence prevention study program for all public and private middle schools and high schools. The curriculum would initiate discussions about a topic that is rarely examined in a society that shies away from controversial subjects. However unpleasant it may be, learning ways to prevent or stop domestic violence is just as important as learning to multiply fractions or construct coherent sentences.
Domestic violence is a serious problem that needs serious solutions. Domestic violence can have devastating effects on a family, and if steps are not taken to stop this crisis, the core of our nation will begin to erode. Through education, legislation and open discussions of this issue, we the people can find ways to prevent that from occurring.
What qualifies as domestic abuse? According to the website www.domesticviolence.org, it is a person's attempt to control someone in a relationship through various words and actions. Therefore, it can be more than just physical harm to the victim. It can also be verbal threats, constant criticism, isolation from family and friends, and attempts to keep the victim financially dependent on the abuser by cutting off access to funds or employment.
Domestic violence has no economic or cultural boundaries. It occurs in all racial, economic and social groups, including married couples, same-sex partners, senior citizens, and teen and young adult daters. The website www.endabuse.org says that close to one-third of American woman have reported some kind of physical or sexual abuse by a partner; and that the worldwide figure is about the same. However, domestic violence is not just a "women's issue." According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, while there are more than 5 million occurrences of intimate partner violence against women each year, there are also more than 3 million occurrences of violence against men.
In January, 2006, President Bush signed the Violence Against Women Act 2005, which is designed to reverse this trend by authorizing funds for various programs, including those that provide emergency services for victims, training for health care providers in assisting victims, and the promotion of non-violent solutions to youths, according to www.endabuse.org. However, the money allotted to these programs must be approved yearly by Congress, a step our lawmakers must take to ensure that these critical programs are allowed to flourish. Voters should contact their representatives and tell them to continue to fund these initiatives, and not to let partisan politics interfere with their implementation.
Another useful tool in our nation's efforts to end domestic violence would be the creation of a domestic violence prevention study program for all public and private middle schools and high schools. The curriculum would initiate discussions about a topic that is rarely examined in a society that shies away from controversial subjects. However unpleasant it may be, learning ways to prevent or stop domestic violence is just as important as learning to multiply fractions or construct coherent sentences.
Domestic violence is a serious problem that needs serious solutions. Domestic violence can have devastating effects on a family, and if steps are not taken to stop this crisis, the core of our nation will begin to erode. Through education, legislation and open discussions of this issue, we the people can find ways to prevent that from occurring.
Books and Stuff
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