S.C. Green's Blog, page 12

10 of the best females writers of the strange, funny, and fantastic

As a woman who also happens to be a writer, I’m aware of a lot of discussion that goes on around women in fiction and women who write fiction.

Despite the fact that females are the overwhelming consumers of fiction books (buying more than ⅔ of all fiction books sold), there’s still an “old boy’s club” attitude around much of fiction authorship. Women writers of equal merit have to fight twice as hard to have their books seen, promoted, reviewed, and awarded.

When people talk about a female writer, it’s often assumed they’re a romance writer, and even then – romance novels are derided as though they lack the literary merits of other, male-dominated genres.

And if you don’t happen to write romance? Writers who approach dark topics are often encouraged to adopt male pseudonyms, and it’s female writers more than males who are asked if they write their (smutty or murdery) stories from life experience. It’s as though it’s thought a woman lacks the ability to create worlds from her imagination.

And don’t even get me started on crap like the Sad Puppies.

Despite this ridiculous and pervasive bias, female writers continue to write and thrive. I want to continue to celebrate some of the awesome woman who have influenced me and chagned the way I thought about writing and reading and life.

In no particular order, here are some of my favourite female writers. I’ve probably missed some, but if I remember them, I’ll just do another list!

1. Margaret Atwood

Atwood is the queen of what’s commonly referred to a “magic realism”, books seeped in speculative tropes, but with a literary fiction bent. I first read The Handmaid’s Tale at high school (another class was studying it, and it sounded way more interesting than the book we were reding, so I read that instead), and was instantly hooked by the way she created a world that seemed so bleak and so utterly possible. I can’t wait to check out the new Hulu series when we eventually get it here in NZ.

Start with: The Handmaid’s Tale, Oryx and Crake.

2. VC Andrews

V.C. Andrews has been a bestselling phenomenon since the publication of her spellbinding classic Flowers in the Attic. Her books frequently deal with the subject of consensual incest, rags-to-riches, riches-to-rags, and other kinds of forbidden love. Sensual, creepy, and beautifully gothic, Andrews writes family sagas where tragedies and sins echo through generations. Despite the fact that she’s been dead since 1996, VC Andrews is still publishing books (using ghostwriters, obviously).

Start with: Flowers in the Attic, My Sweet Audrina.

3. Shirley Jackson

Jackson is a new love of mine. I devoured We Have Always Lived in the Castle in a single sitting a couple of months ago, and ever since I’ve been working through her entire catalogue. She’s one of the most respected writers of all time, cited as an influence on Neil Gaimen, Stephen King, Joanne Harris, and many others. When her short story, “The Lottery” was released in the New Yorker in 1948, the paper was flooded with more responses and letters than they’d ever received before. Her work has these sinister, unsettling overtones that make you doubt the sanity of every character. You never feel the same when you finish one of her books as when you started.

Start with: We Have Always Lived in the Castle, The Lottery and Other Stories.

4. Sophie Kinsella

Sophie Kinsella is one of the biggest authors of “chick-lit”, back when chick-lit was still a term publishing people used. The term is hokey but the books are anything but. Teaming with intelligence and hilarious, flawed, and wonderful characters, Kinsella’s books are probably some of the funniest I’ve ever read. EVER. They’re also brimming with wonderful English Englandisms. Hollywood made the first book in her Shopaholic series into a movie, but turned it all American and it was bad bad bad. These are perfect books for bus reading or holiday relaxing.

Start with: Confessions of a Shopaholic, My Not-So-Perfect Life.

5. Anne Rice

How could I, a teenage goth growing up in the nineties, not worship Rice, whose books practically defined the modern vampire tale. Rice taught me about the richness of language, that worlds are built not out of sweeping descriptions of huge, impressive things, but of a million tiny, important details scattered throughout a narrative. I really want to re-read Rice’s books, but they’re currently not available in ebook format as far as I can see, and my paperback copies are buried in boxes still. Anne, if you’re reading this, GET YOUR BOOKS ON KINDLE.

Start with: Interview with a Vampire, The Witching Hour.

6. Emma Bull

“Emma Bull is really good.” Neil Gaimen wrote that blurb on the cover of one of her books, and it’s totally true. Listen to Neil. If you haven’t read War for the Oaks, READ IT. OMG, seriously, just do it. This book was the first book I heard described as “urban fantasy” and it is the model by which I judge every book in the genre (and find most of them lacking). Emma’s rich language and exquisitely-broken main character will leave you addicted.

Start with: War for the Oaks, Bone Dance: A Fantasy for Technophiles.

7. Doreen Tovey

Dorreen Tovey was the first “grown up” author I ever read, back when I was seven or eight, I think. My mum showed me her book, Cats in the Belfry in the library, and I fell in love with all the Siamese cats frolicking over the cover. After reading through her whole series, I spent the next six years begging my parents for a Siamese cat for every birthday and Christmas (And I got my Toby when I was 13, because they’re awesome parents). Tovey tells these hilarious true tales of her life in a tiny English village with her husband Charles, their crazy cats, all the wacky village characters, and their donkey Annabel. You will fall in love.

Start with: Cats in the Belfry, Cats in May.

8. Liane Moriaty

Liane Moriaty is an Australian writer who creates what I would call, “Antipodean gothic.” Her stories feature these wonderful, sympathetic characters (mostly women) who you wish like hell were your close friends, who end up in the most impossibly awful situations. Each book features a deep, sordid mystery that tears these character’s lives apart, and you spend half your time hoping like hell it won’t turn out as bad as you know it will, and the rest of the time wondering how they’re going to put their lives back together. I binge-read all of her books on my South Island trip last year, and now I’m hanging on for the next one.

Start with: Big Little Lies, What Alice Forgot.

9. Kameron Hurley

I discovered Kameron through her book of essays, The Geek Feminist Revolution. And then I joined her Patreon and started reading through her short fiction, and got hooked. Kameron is really, REALLY good. She calls her genre New Weird, which is basically what I’m beginning to realise is actually what I write (the Engine Ward series fits here perfectly). Her books are profoundly dark and disturbing and feature casts of characters, many of whom don’t fit established genre tropes. Lots of strong women, gender-fluidity, and SENTIENT TREES.

Start with: The Stars are Legion, The Mirror Empire.

10. Olivia Cunning

Olivia writes sexy contemporary romances, including what’s probably my favourite romance series of all time – Sinners on Tour. These books follow the five members of a heavy metal band while they tour the country, break hearts, solve mysteries, and find true love. These books are super erotic, and the characters are so exquisitely drawn you kind of all in love with all of them. By the end of the series you just want to keep going on adventures with them forever.

Start with: Backstage Pass, Try Me.

There are so many other women writers I love – H Y Hanna, Darcy Coates, Mary Roach, Francesca Lia Block … the list could just go on forever. Who are your favourites?

 

When our Prime Minister gets burned by John Oliver

I know some shitty things happened in the world this week.

I know we all need a little something to make us remember that the world is indeed a wonderful place.

I present to you … that something.

NZ Prime Minister Bill English being dragged over the coals on Last Week Tonight.

Your welcome.

And yes, this was even reported on in our national paper.

(Although, incidentally, some of us grew up on tinned spaghetti and pineapple on pizza and we turned out just fine. After watching this my husband has been begging to have this for dinner, so … your mileage may vary.)

When I’m not watching John Oliver or creating culinary hate crimes in the kitchen, I write dark urban fantasy and paranormal romance novels. My latest book, Writing the Wolf, second in the Wolves of Crookshollow series, is out now. Grab your copy from your favourite retailer, or join my mailing list to stay up-to-date with the series.

BlisterFest 2016: Hiking the Routeburn Track

After successfully completing the Inca Trail in 2015, I resolved that I would spend more time exploring the natural areas of my own country. New Zealand is so incredibly beautiful, and yet here I was schlepping halfway around the world to do my hiking? It wouldn’t do.

Luckily, the perfect opportunity presented itself. A lovely couple asked me to perform their wedding ceremony in Greymouth, down in the South Island. I said yes immediately, and started planning where else I would go while I was in the South Island.

For those who don’t know, New Zealand is divided into three islands – the North Island (the most populous), the South Island (where most of our farming takes place), and Stewart Island (it’s tiny and far away and mysterious and I don’t really know what goes on there except that maybe there are dinosaurs). I live in Auckland, our largest city, which is located near the top of the North Island. Despite living in New Zealand my entire life, I’ve only visited the South Island twice – once when I was three, for some eye tests in Christchurch, and once for three days of relaxing in Queenstown following our wedding. This isn’t an uncommon statement to hear from a North Islander, so I wanted to rectify it with a bit of a meander.

I settled on an itinerary – two nights in Greymouth for the wedding, then I’d take the TransAlpine – one of the most beautiful railway journeys in the world – across the island to Christchurch. Three nights exploring Christchurch, and then down to Queenstown, where three intrepid friends and I would hike the Routeburn track. We decided to call this adventure BLISTERFEST 2016, like a rock festival, except there would be actual rocks.

(Thanks to Jess Lowe for taking all the epic photos along the way.)

About the Routeburn Track

The Routeburn Track is one of New Zealand’s nine Great Walks – outlined hiking routes famous for their epic scenery. The Routeburn is one of the most popular, and for good reason – the trek takes you through some of the most impressive alpine landscapes. From lush meadows, reflective tarns, and alpine gardens, you’ll climb through epic valleys and over soaring ridges.

It’s epic, in the truest sense of the word.

Day 0

John, Jess and I arrived into Queenstown from Christchurch, and we met up with Inez at our backpackers. I’d chosen the Sir Cedric’s Southern Laughter hostel for the one single fact that it offered guests free use of a spa pool. The place was really cool – our rooms were set off from little lounges/kitchenettes, a bit like motel rooms. The place had a relaxed, outdoorsy vibe.

We started the day with lunch at the local Speights Alehouse, where we made a list of all the pre-hike chores we had to do. Luckily, the alehouse was located directly opposite the Department of Conservation centre, where we needed to head first to collect our hut passes and emergency beacon. The lady in the DoC office gave us a great run down of the trail and the weather (bad, bad, and worse), and wished us good luck!

Then, it was on to the supermarket, where we chose a menu of porridge (breakfast), bangers and mash (day 1 dinner), and sweet and sour sausages (dinner day 1). We each chose our own lunch and snack food. My menu included pumpernickel bread, venison salami, cheese, nuts, and grapes (which I pulled off the bunch and stored in a plastic container).

Our final stop was to the outdoors shop, where we picked up hiking gear we’d rented for the trail (renting can be cheaper than hiking if you need lots of gear – I rented a sleeping bag so I didn’t have to carry one through my whole trip. Others rented hiking poles). We returned to the hostel to pack our bags and store our non-hiking gear, then went out for dinner.

The trendy place to head for dinner in Queenstown is a place called Fergburger. At all times of day it has a line that stretches down the road and sometimes around the corner. After our day of traipsing around, that was the last thing we wanted to do, so we asked at the hostel for the best “non-fergburger” cheap dinner. She pointed us to The London, right next to Fergburger.

If you go to Christchurch, you should totally go here. We paid $60 for an EPIC three-foot pizza with three different toppings, and sides of loaded wedges and jalopeno toppers. All the food was fantastic and they had a decent beer selection.

Day 1

Off we go!

We rose with our alarms, had our last breakfast in civilisation, and took our last hot showers. We checked out of the hostel and lugged our packs down into the village, where we’d be meeting our bus to take us to the Routeburn Shelter.

The bus trip took approximately two hours, and was mostly made up of other hikers. We stopped in Te Anau for thirty-five minutes, where we had some quite delicious scones and went to the bathroom. Then it was on to the trail entrance.

When we arrived, it was raining steadily. We all crowded into the shelter with the other hikers and started adjustments. Packs were repacked, poles untangled, toilet stops taken, clothing added or removed, and then, eventually, finally, we hit the trail, with two new friends in tow.

The first day is a steady four hours uphill through a dense forest. For much of the journey, we walk alongside or cross over the Route Burn (river). We clambered over an epic swingbridge to admire the Bridal Veil fall, then on past the Routeburn Flats hut. From here, we started climbing more sharply, and we got some epic views of the Humboldt mountains.

Uphill is my favourite hiking terrain. It’s easier on my eyes and I have the fitness level to be able to just keep going. Of all the people in our group, Jess struggled the most on this day, because she didn’t have the fitness level the rest of us did. But even though she was tired and frustrated, she did it, and when we arrived at the Routeburn Falls hut, hugging the edge of the mountain and overlooking a cascading waterfall, we were all pretty stoked.

This woman is literally amazing.

The doc huts on the Routeburn can accommodate around 50 people, and they’re very well equipped (pretty luxurious, from my hiking experience). The Routeburn Falls hut looked out over this magnificent cone.

Everything has to be flown in by helicopter. This is a helicopter changing the septic tank. (Yup, that’s a whole tank of hiker poo just flying through the sky).

That night the hut held a competition. There were two large banners on the wall, where the hut ranger had got people of different nationalities to write the same phrase in their native tongue. You had to guess as many as you could, and the team who got the most would win a prize. I puffed out my chest. I studied five languages at university. Surely I’d be able to make an educated guess on a few!

Hahahaha. Ha. Ha.

We lost pitifully, to a table of Germans who managed to pick up Basque and Farsi, along with a bunch of others. I got Greek and Russian mixed up. I STUDIED Greek. Clearly, hiking messes with my brain.

Let’s see how many you can get.

Jess cooked us an amazing dinner of bangers and mash and garlicky onions. Most people brought along freeze-dried food, and were rather envious of our epic feast. Our ranger gave a talk about the local wildlife, as well as a weather report for the next day. We were heading in to a six-hour hike, and the weather was supposed to get really bad about 1PM. We decided to get up at 5AM, and try and hit the track before sunrise, so we could reach MacKenzie hut before the nasty stuff hit.

After a dram of whisky each, we all went off to bed.

Day 2

My alarm beeped to life. 5AM. Yikes. There’s a 5 in the AM now? It was still pitch black – the kind of total, deep darkness you only experience when you’re miles from civilisation.

It must be time to make a move.

I got dressed by feel inside my sleeping bag, reminded my mumbling comrades that the alarm had gone off, and tiptoed across to the communal cooking rooms to start the tea boiling.

After half an hour, the tea was boiled, I’d read a few chapters of my book, and no one else had joined me. I returned to the sleeping cabin and gently, so as not to annoying another of the other groups, reminded my peeps that we needed to bust a move.

I then went back and waited, and waited. And waited. It became clear to me that in order to get moving in the morning, my friends needed more than just a gentle coaxing. Lesson learned.

Eventually, everyone did get up, and we ate a delicious warm breakfast of porridge and herbal tea. We were one of the last groups to leave, hitting the track by 7:30AM – later than we’d hoped, but still good time. After a steep climb over slippery rocks, we hit the alpine slopes, passing through deep valleys and getting epic views across the landscape.

Jess does an amazing hobbit impression, which had us in giggles as we traipsed across stunning alpine vistas.

We sidled along the bluffs above Lake Harris to reach the highest point on the track at Harris Saddle/TarahakaWhakatipu (1,255 m). About thirty minutes before we hit the saddle, the weather started to get really bad. We were freezing cold and tired by the time we crashed through the doors of the Harris Saddle shelter. Saddles are exposed, and the wind tore through like a hurricane, bending and beating at everything in its path, including us. We took a long break here to eat a bunch of snacks and chat with some of the other hikers, to re-energise before the descent to Lake MacKenzie hut.

Harris Saddle shelter – the most welcome sight in the universe.

The weather held off for us as we descended the Hollyford Face. This rocky path proved difficult for me and my comrade John. We both have the same eye condition, which makes depth perception and downhill across rocky surfaces different. Hiking poles help, but I still struggled to go as fast as the others in the group.

At least the view was epic – we could see all the way across the Darran Mountains and over the crystalline Lake Mackenzie.

Remember that bad weather? Well, excepting a few horrifically cold gusts, it held off until literally the moment we stepped on to the porch of Lake MacKenzie hut, and then the heavens opened up. We rushed inside, put our wet clothes by the fire, and chilled out with the other hikers until it was time to cook dinner.

This is what hut life looks like – trying to find room around the fire to get your boots dry.

Jess’ culinary masterpiece for the evening was sweet and sour sausages, and it was delicious. We had a hilarious Irish hut ranger who gave an equally hilarious hut talk about how someone brought a garden gnome on the hike just to shove it into the bushes to scare him. Another dram of whisky, and off to bed for us.

Day 3

After another early morning (5:30AM awake, 7:30AM left the hut … yeah, we need to get a bit better at this), we hit the track and started out with a climb toward the treeline.

After a gradual descent, we entered an open grassy area dotted with ribbon wood trees, and I discovered to my great delight (and no one elses’ delight) that it was snowing! There was snow! How cool was that? Actually, it was freezing, but the snow buzz kept me going for a bit longer.

We descended through the forest, heading to the Earland Falls. The falls actually go over the track, so your choice is to take a frigid cold bath, or a detour around them that involves some pretty serious climbing. With huge packs. We took the detour, which was … an adventure. But we made it.

The track continues its descent through beech forest to Lake Howden Hut.

Our attempt at a group snow selfie.

We arrived at Lake Howden hut with enough time to hang around for an hour, eat some food, and warm ourselves by the fire. A few of the German hikers we’d been friendly with were already there, so we hung out and had a great time. Until … a woman came up to us and fake-asked us to move tables. Apparently, she had a tour-group of guided hikers coming in, and she ALWAYS used the central table – the table closest to the fire.

Now, if you don’t know about guided hikers, they are the people who pay literally thousands of dollars to, as my friend Jess puts it, “faux-hike” the track. Their packs are lifted in by chopper. They have lunches prepared and hot tea made for them at each stop. They even sleep in different huts with coffee machines and bars and pillows and beds and such. They’re kind of a standing joke amongst all us wet, bedraggled sloggers who’d dragged our own gear across the whole track.

Now, we were all wet and miserable after three hours hiking through driving rain, freezing wind, and snow. These guys had hiked an hour up from the carpark with no packs, and they were getting the fire? Um … sure. Whatever. We moved tables, and proceeded to mock these hikers under our breath. Then Jess went outside to go to the bathroom, and told us the guided walkers had dumped all their wet gear on top of ours outside, knocking people’s jackets into puddles, filling boots with water. And she found several of their paper lunch bags lying on the ground.

Not impressed. After the left, we sat around the fire a bit longer, making up choice insults, then hit the track again – we needed to reach the parking lot by 3PM to catch our bus.

The feeling of elation when we stepped out into the parking lot was absolutely indescribable.

Twenty minutes later, our buss arrived and we hopped on board. Unbeknownst to me, the bus I’d booked was actually a tour company who take tourists from Queenstown to Milford Sound for a champagne cruise around the sound, and then bring them back again. So while the four of us had spent three days hiking in the rain and snow, these most walking these guys had done was from their seat on the boat to the bar and back. You should have seen the looks they were giving us.

Giddy with post-hiking high, we found some seats, and proceeded to loudly recount our favourite moments from the trek. We looked like escaped convicts. We smelled like you’d expect people who hadn’t showered for three days to smell. Under normal circumstances I’d be worried about making us all be quiet so we didn’t disturb the others, but this day I didn’t give a fuck.

We had a stop at Te Anau for coffee. When we got back on the bus, we discovered that several passengers had deliberately moved away from us.

Dicks.

Back in Queenstown, we each had glorious hot showers, called our loved ones, jumped in the hostel spa with the last of our whisky (a double stroke of genius. Seriously, this was the best thing ever.), and then headed out around 10PM to find some food.

Travel tip: Very few places in Queenstown are open for dinner after 10PM at night. We went back to the pub, and they told us to head to a place called the Fat Badger. Turns out, this is a rad pizza and beer place.

I ordered a “bowl” of cider, not really sure what that was. What came out from the bar was less of a “bowl” and more of a “baptismal font.” What an epic way to finish this adventure.

The whole trip was amazing. It was an absolute joy to be able to experience such raw, untouched landscapes, and sharing this experience with awesome people makes it all the better. We’re already planning BlisterFest 2017 (The Rakiura track, on the mysterious Stewart Island).

Tips and recommendations:

If you ever find yourself in New Zealand, definitely consider doing the Routeburn. It wasn’t too difficult and for three days offered a simply spectacular view of alpine scenery. Many people believe it is better than the more popular Milford Track, and it’s definitely a bit quieter.

Here are some tips from me and my group:

If you’re all in a small group, work together to come up with a food menu. It will save you room versus each person carrying/cooking their own thing, and will mean you’re able to create more tasty meals.
Bring a pot of water for boiling and some tea bags. Seriously, this was the most amazing luxury ever.
We started from the Routeburn Shelter end of the track, and finished at the Divide. I’d recommend this for beginning hikers, as the first day is a bit shorter than the subsequent days. It also means you get most of the uphill sections done on day one.
DoC offer rental of emergency beacons. They’re around $30-40. I’d definitely recommend this, especially as it helps those friends and family who aren’t hiking with you to feel secure that you’re safe.
Take the time to participate in the hut activities and talk to you fellow hikes. We met some awesome people.
Don’t worry too much about how short/long you take. DoC gives an estimated walking time for each day. We were bang on for days 1 and 3, and took one hour longer on day 2. Some hikers did the second day in literally half the estimated time (3 hours instead of 6). If you enjoy the challenge of speeding through as fast as you can, more power to you, but personally I’m happy we were able to really enjoy the landscape.
Pick up all your rubbish and don’t leave anything behind but your footprints.
Don’t wait in line for burgers like a fool.

Have you hiked the Routeburn Track before? Or another epic hiking trail? Tell us about it!

When I’m not hiking off into the wilderness, I write dark urban fantasy novels. My latest book, Petrified City, first in the new Chronicles of the Wraith series, is out now. Grab your copy from Amazon, or join my mailing list to stay up-to-date with the series.

I want to talk about 13 Reasons Why

For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been debating if I should write something about 13 Reasons Why.

This dialogue has been running through my head. “I’m just a little metal blogger. I write romance novels. I don’t have a degree in film criticism or psychology or mental health. I don’t have a right to have an opinion about this show.”

The fact that I’m here now, writing about 13 Reasons Why, will tell you what became of that particular dialogue.

I binge-watched 13 Reasons Why over Easter weekend, with my husband by my side. If you haven’t heard of 13 Reasons Why, it’s the show aimed at teens that everyone is talking about. In it, Hannah Baker kills herself, and leaves behind 13 cassette tapes, each one talking about a different reason why she decided to commit suicide. Each tape is about a person, named on the tape, and Hannah had the tapes sent to the first person on the list, with the instructions that they were to listen, then send the tapes on to the next person, and so on down the line.

If it sounds heavy, that’s because it is. From about the third episode, I pretty much cried non-stop through the whole thing. It’s pretty horrifying.

It’s also brilliant.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Also, stuff that may be hard to read if you can’t deal with reading about suicide and rape and fun stuff like that.

Right? We’re ready? We’re cool?

Okay, here we go.

There has been a lot of criticism about the show, particularly about it’s depiction of three key scenes – two rapes, and Hannah’s actual suicide. After seeing the show, I went straight out and read the book it was based on, more for a writerly interest in how the author handled the complex structure of Hannah’s narrative alongside the narrative of the book’s other protagonist, Clay, who is listening to the tapes. In the book, these three scenes do happen (although Hannah’s method of suicide is swallowing pills), but they aren’t described graphically. The rape scenes in particular are very elusive – you understand them only through subtext.

The majority of the criticism falls on the graphic depiction of Hannah slitting her wrists and lying down in a bath, her parents finding her there later. Also, critics bash the whole concept of the show, citing it as a dangerous revenge fantasy that will encourage teens to commit suicide to show their tormentors. There’s talk that letting Hannah have a “voice” after her death through the tapes gives a false impression of the reality of suicide. And perhaps these criticisms are completely and utterly justified – I’m not a psychologist, and if people more learned than myself say that showing suicide actually convinces teens to do it, then I’m not going to sit here and disagree with them.

But.

Personally, that wasn’t how I read the show at all.

I’ve been turning it over in my mind a lot over the last couple of weeks, of the role of the show in being responsible for suicides inspired by that scene. Of how, were I behind the show, I probably would have made similar decisions to those the directors and writers made, to those the author made.

The whole theme of the story was that although Hannah’s decision was ultimately her own, and it was shown to me time and time again to be the wrong one, the decision that caused untold damage to every person she ever cared about, that each person was responsible for their actions that helped lead to that decision. You can’t know what’s going on another person’s life, and that cruel thing you do or say because you’re scared, or you want to fit in, or you don’t know any better may not seem like much to you, but it’s part of the problem that can ultimately lead to this horrible end.

Personally, I found the suicide scene essential to the overall message of the show, which was the reality of how ugly and painful and horrific suicide is. Nic Sheff, a writer for the show, went into more detail in his defense in an essay he wrote for Vanity Fair. Nic describes his own suicidal impulses. During a dark point in his life, he tried to make himself overdose on pills, but then he remembered a woman he met who had tried to do just that. She survived — but while her body attempted to process the pills, she ran through a glass door and suffered massive internal bleeding.

“It was an instant reminder that suicide is never peaceful and painless, but instead an excruciating, violent end to all hopes and dreams and possibilities for the future,” Sheff writes. “The memory came to me like a shock. It staggered me. And it saved my life.”

He wrote Hannah’s suicide specifically to do the same for someone else at rock bottom: show them how painful and unpleasant and messy suicide really is, and dissuade them from trying it. He wanted “to dispel the myth of the quiet drifting off, and to make viewers face the reality of what happens when you jump from a burning building into something much, much worse.”

To me, the show succeeded in this. It wasn’t angelic or glamourous. It was sparse and horrific and utterly visceral. It will haunt me for a long time, and I don’t think I’m alone in that. It makes me want to do my bit to help anyone who is having those kind of thoughts avoid going through that, and putting their friends and family through that.

But I’m not about to go up against the peer-reviewed research that suggests this representation could encourage teens to commit suicide. I think absolutely no one, including the show’s producers, want that to happen, and I hope for everyone’s sake, it doesn’t. I’m not qualified to debate if that was a good move or not, just that for me, as an adult watching the show, it was one of the most powerful moments.

Is the art responsible for that kind of tragedy? Personally, I think art’s role is to throw light upon the dark places, to tell the stories that resonate with people, to be bold enough and brave enough to depict the ugly and the sad and the lonely sides of human nature. The whole point of 13 Reasons Why is highlighting how our behaviour and words impact others. I think it’s the wrong tack to blame the authors for being irresponsible, without first looking at what we, individually and as a society, can do to ensure that slut-shaming and bullying and rape and cruelty are no longer part of our schools and our lives.

Rather then directing anger at the art that highlights these issues, is it not better to direct that anger at finding a way to solve them?

The show took the first step – it raised awareness, it got people talking.

We all have to take it from here.

This is my story.

I’ve never really seen this theme played out in a book before. I’ve read a lot of teen books that deal with suicide and depression and bullying, but they usually focus on a key group of bullies and a key incident. In Hannah’s story, we see how each little event, many of them seemingly innocent, some committed by kids who are even more bullied or ostracised than her, lead up to a tragic and hopeless ending.

For me, this hit fucking close to home.

I’ve spoken briefly about what happened to me when I was in school. People said stuff to me that, out of context, doesn’t sound that bad. They called me blind, blinkie, blinkie bill. They called me ugly. They loved that word and used it a lot. They called me weird. They told me to go away. I had major bullies who did horrible things, who hurt me in ways that still haunt my dreams. But mostly, it was the everyday things people said, or stood by and let be said, that seemed harmless to them, but echoed in my head on constant repeat, like an annoying pop song you just can’t get rid of.

I’d been hearing those things from the age of six up until I left high school. Nothing I did made them stop, because what they were talking about was part of me. Teachers couldn’t stop them, conversations with other parents didn’t stop them. I don’t think if I’d changed schools, things would have been any better. I couldn’t miraculously become not-blind. I couldn’t change my face or my body. Even if I could, I don’t think it would’ve made much difference.

What happens in your mind after you hear those things, every day, time and time again? You start to believe them.

You hold them inside you until they become part of you. And when something truly traumatic happens to you, like what happened to Hannah in the story, you internalise it. You say to yourself, “of course this happened. It had to happen to me. It’s my fault.“

By the time I was fifteen, I believed it was my fault. I knew I could never change who I was. I just wanted it to stop.

I wanted to die.

I was tired and it was too much. I wanted to give up.

I thought about it every day, how I would do it, what I would say in my own note. I made an attempt I’d consider serious once, when I was sixteen. An ambulence had to be called. I hate that I put my parents and friends through that, but at the time, I honestly believed they’d all be better off without me.

As to the scene where Hannah confides in her guideance counseller … yeah, that one was familiar to me, too.

Like Hannah, I hoped it would get better, but I placed my hope in things that were bound to disappoint me. I gave myself over to my couple of friends at the time, and to my boyfriend, and I made them the sole source of my happiness. We had some of the best times of my life thus far when I was 15-16, but when I swung back down into the depths of my depression, I clung to them. And that wasn’t fair.

I had already given up. They were my last hurrah. I waited for them to hurt me, because I expected it, but I had no right to ask them to be perfect when I was falling apart and gave no energy to them. People aren’t perfect, and they fuck up. They fucked up and I fucked up and I got hurt and I had no tools to cope with that and that was totally not their fault.

So much of what Hannah described on the tapes – her feeling of numbness, the way events that were small to others became huge beacons on her own narrative, the way she said, “I’ll give life one more chance,” the peace she found in her final decision. All of it was painfully, achingly familar. All of it was wounds that had scarred over years ago.

To me, that was the power of 13 Reasons Why. It wasn’t a revenge story. It was a girl who didn’t know how to cope with the trauma she’d experienced because her spirit had been worn down by the casual cruelty of others.

I related to that so hard.

And it was also about a boy who wanted to love her, but who was afraid, for the same reasons that everyone was afraid. It was the story of his loss, and his struggle to forgive her for what she done, and to forgive himself for his fear. Clay’s story is so essential, because his struggle to come to terms with what Hannah did, and what had been done to her, showed him how brave he could truly be.

Clay doesn’t get talked about nearly enough in the articles about the show, but he’s wonderful.

I never saw the story glorifying suicide. I never saw a revenge story. What I saw was Hannah’s parents, and Hannah’s friend Clay, and all the other people on the tapes, trying to make sense of her death. I saw the ripple effect her death had for everyone on the tapes. The ending in particular was to me a cry that this has to stop, now, because it’s already too late.

What Hannah did, making people feel as though they were responsible for her death, was an awful thing to do. Ultimately, she made that decision. But she didn’t do it for revenge. She did it because she couldn’t speak when she was alive. She needed to speak. She needed to tell her story.

Being “frozen” and “silent” and “numb” were themes throughout the show. Often, Hannah has an opportunity to say something, but she doesn’t. She speaks about this on the tapes, how she wanted to, but couldn’t. How what she screamed in her head was different from what came out of her mouth.

Of course, suicide is the ultimate silence.

During the rape scene, Hannah doesn’t cry out. She doesn’t fight. I saw someone on a FB forum asking about this the other day. A lot of people shot her down, but I thought that was stupid. People need to ask questions like this. They need to understand. I said that, especially when you’re at the place Hannah was at when you internalise all the cruel and careless things that had been said and done to you, when a trauma like that happens to you, you internalise it, too. You say, “this is what I deserve.” You don’t fight because you believe this was meant to happen, this was what happened to girls like you.

Sometimes, when you’re frightened, you freeze. Not everyone can fight back. Not everyone has it in them to try to physically hurt another person, even if that person is trying to hurt them. I did martial arts at university, in part because I didn’t want to freeze, ever again, and my instructor said it was a common problem people experienced when they started – they had to break through a barrier in their brains that said it was okay to hurt someone. As it was, it took me two years to stop saying “I’m sorry,” every time I punched someone.

When I first came to Auckland, I was scared. I thought it would all just be an endless cycle of this shit. But I learned how much bigger the world was. I learned that what drove me in life was enough to keep me going when something bad happened. I made friends, I met my husband – the single best thing that has and ever will happen to me.

The people in my life now and the work I’m doing are all the inspiration I need to get up in the morning. Nothing that happens now ever seems that bad anymore. Because of them, but also because of me.

I didn’t die. I’m here.

I can’t explain what changed for me. I woke up one day, and I wanted to live. I looked around my room at all my fossils and books and Egyptian paintings and my cat sleeping on the end of the bed and thought there was so much in the world I wanted to explore and discover and know. I wasn’t ready to die.

The dark thoughts mostly stopped. So too did the importance I placed on what other people thought of me. I stopped hearing what people said or did to me. I stopped caring. So they thought I was ugly? Who cares – I could still have an amazing life.

And I do.

Why am I writing this now? What do I hope to achieve? I guess … life has been so incredibly good to me over the last fifteen years, I haven’t wanted to dwell too much on what did happen. I didn’t want people to look at me with pity or scorn. I didn’t want to hear that I was trying to gather sympathy, Maybe … it’s too raw and deep and personal to speak about still, even after all these years.

But maybe what I’ve written here will help someone. Maybe this will help you if you’re feeling hopeless, or to stand up for someone when people are being less than awesome to them. If it’s helped one person, then I consider it worthwhile.

13 Reasons Why is getting people to talk about these issues, and I believe that’s a good thing. I don’t believe a TV show or a book should be held responsible for a person’s decision to commit suicide, any more than the people on the tapes were responsible for Hannah’s suicide. It’s not meant to be a treatise on mental health issues. It was one girl’s story. And to me, it was painfully, personally real.

Dismissing it as sensationalist or dangerous is, I think, dangerous in and of itself.

There’s a great article on local publication The Spinoff for parents on 13 conversations you should have around 13 Reasons Why, that I think is a good resource for parents whose kids are watching the show. Maureen Ryan also writes about the show as a parent for the Chicago Tribune.

This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever written on this blog, but I thought it was important. I wanted to present another side in the debate about how dangerous this show is. I don’t think it’s dangerous. I think not talking about it is dangerous.

So, I’m talking.

If you’re experiencing depression or having suicidal thoughts, here are some places you can reach out to for help. Please reach out for help. (NB: These are local to New Zealand. If you live somewhere else, check out the helplines in your area).

Lifeline – 0800 543 354
Suicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Depression Helpline  – 0800 111 757 – this service is staffed 24/7 by trained counsellors
Samaritans  – 0800 726 666
Youthline (open 24/7) – 0800 376 633. Text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz.
0800 WHATSUP (0800 9428 787) – Open between 1pm and 10pm on weekdays and from 3pm to 10pm on weekends. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz.
Healthline – 0800 611 116
For more information about support and services available to you, contact the Mental Health Foundation’s free Resource and Information Service on 09 623 4812 during office hours or email info@mentalhealth.org.nz

When I’m not writing here on the blog, I’m the author of paranormal romance and dark fantasy novels. I try to write about characters with real struggles who sometimes make horrible mistakes, but who use their brains and skills and kindness to overcome and triumph. You can sign up to my mailing list to get some free books and learn more about my work.

My latest paranormal novel, Hollow, is out now

The Hollow is no ordinary haunted house.

The rooms change places, the walls are closing in, and every day the house gets closer to being crushed beneath the weight of the void between the fae and human worlds.

Aisling is the Hollow’s last protector, a young woman ready to sacrifice herself to protect her family’s magic from falling into the hands of the fae. She knew the Hollow would eventually take her life. But she never imagined it would bring her the boy of her dreams.

Niall is a warrior, a fae born and bred for killing. But all his strength and guile can’t help him save his brother, who is being held prisoner by a rival fae. The only way Niall can save his brother is to gain enough magic to pay off his debt. And there’s only one ready source of residual magic in the city – the Hollow.

Now, Aisling and Niall are trapped inside the Hollow. As their enemies batter at the doors, desperate for entry, and the void threatens to consume them in eternal night, Aisling and Niall must battle their own demons and join forces to save the magic of the Hollow from falling into the wrong hands. 

If the Hollow falls, both worlds fall with it. But if Aisling and Niall succeed, they will be forced apart for all of eternity.

Read now on Kindle | Nook | iBooks | Kobo | Google Play

I’ve really enjoyed writing this story. Haunted houses are a subject that fascinate me, and appear in different guises in a lot of my stories (The Man in Black, the foxes series to a certain extent …) When Rebecca Hamilton approached me about writing a book in a shared world series about the fae pulling witches from earth into their realm, I was in the middle of reading House of Leaves, and the idea of a house that straddled that void between the worlds came to me. I thought about what it would be like to be trapped inside such a house for your whole life, and what you’d do to pass the time. As soon as I realised the house had to have a library, Aisling’s character was born.

I was fascinated by the idea of this girl who read every book she could, books about worlds she had never experienced. Even simple things like characters going to school or falling in love were completely beyond her. Aisling’s entire catalogue of emotions and responses is learned from books. It’s almost as though she herself is haunted by the words on the pages.

Hollow is a standalone paranormal romance novel released under my penname – USA Today bestselling author Steffanie Holmes. It is the Book II in the Fallen Sorcery Isa Fae shared world series. If you like stories of clever witches, deadly fae, and a house with a mind of his own, this book will be impossible to put down.

Reader FAQ
What is the Isa Fae shared world?

In the world of Isa Fae, magic is both life source and currency, and running out of magic means certain death. But beyond barter, the only way to obtain more magic is by collecting energy from other dimensions…an option that hasn’t been available to them since a nuclear war rendered Earth uninhabitable, cutting off the Fae’s primary source.

With the stores of magic dwindling, and no access to the human world to get more, the Fae must find new ways to distribute magic and protect what little they have. But when the factions can’t agree on how to move forward and secede from one another, it leaves each to be represented by their own leaders and ruled by their own laws.

What lengths will each faction be willing to go to survive? And what price will survivors from Earth pay to be a part of their new world?

Read more and see the other books in the series on the Fallen Sorcery website.

Do I have to read all sixteen books to get the full story?

No. Each book is designed to stand on its own, so each features its own unique characters in one of the sixteen factions, and each will have a satisfying ending. However, I definitely recommend you check out some of the other stories.

Will Hollow be released into Kindle Unlimited?

Not at this time. I have recently pulled my Steffanie Holmes catalogue from KU, and my fantasy novels will follow later this year. I don’t intend to go back, but that may change in the future. However, the book is only a paltry $2.99 to buy, so you can definitely still read it!

Will Hollow be out in paperback?

YES. I’ve submitted paperback files for final approval yesterday, so the paperback will be available this week from Amazon.

Will Hollow have a sequel? Will we meet Aisling and Niall again?

I have no plans at this time, and I am bound by my contract with Fallen Sorcery. I am allowed to use the characters again, and the Hollow, too, but not to use the Isa Fae world. I may in future write something extra, perhaps a story about Aisling and Niall’s descendants growing up in the house, but I don’t have any plans for this year.

Will you be doing more of these shared-world projects?

I don’t have any plans to in the near future. While this was a really fun project, I think I prefer having total control over world building and pricing, and the freedom to pivot and adapt in ways that are best for my story and my career. This year, expect to see me finish off the Wolves of Crookshollow series, and start a new vampire series that I’m ridiculously excited about. I’ll also hopefully finish off Witches of the Woods, and get the next Chronicles of the Wraith book out, but that might be too ambitious.

Thanks so much for reading and supporting my work!

Read Hollow now on Kindle | Nook | iBooks | Kobo | Google Play

Your first indie $1000: how to write and sell your novels course

When I first stated self-publishing, I did a lot of stuff wrong. My first book was poorly edited. It had gaping continuity errors and a spelling mistake on the dedication page. It had a niche audience consisting of metalheads who liked reading bizarre satirical fantasy books about battling for the apocalypse.

Not surprisingly, it sold a grand total of 122 copies, most of which were to well-meaning friends and family who probably never read it.

That was 2012. In 2013 I published my second book – The Sunken. This is part I of a three-part dark steampunk saga that I’d been writing for the better part of five years. These books are the books of my heart, a story I feel as though I was destined to tell. To this day, the Engine Ward books are my ultimate pride, one of my biggest achievements as a writer.

But even after I published the second book, they still only sold a handful of copies every month. It wasn’t until 2014 when I published my first romance series – starting with the Art of Cunning – that I started making serious money. Five-figures kind of serious money. All from three romance novellas that took me a total of ten weeks to write.

Why?

Stepping away from my first chosen genre and writing anonymously (at the time) allowed me to step back and critically evaluate everything I was doing. What was it about those three books that made them successful when my fantasy books fell flat? Could that success be replicated across any genre? I wanted to found out, so I kept writing. I kept publishing, and along the way, I learned how to replicate that success, month after month after month.

Since the first month I earned four-figures from my fiction books, I’ve kept up a steady income, despite the ups-and-downs of the publishing industry and all the changes Amazon has thrown at me. In 2017 I took my paranormal romance catalogue from Amazon-exclusive to wide release, in a genre where very few authors can make a successful career wide.

This is my career and my passion, and I want to help you to get to the same place with your books. That’s why I’ve created a new course – Your First Indie $1000.

What you’ll learn in YOUR FIRST INDIE $1000.

I aim to give you a crash course in everything I know about indie publishing, from writing the book, through the production process, right up to the hard part – finding readers and marketing the book to them. In this course you’ll learn:

My formula for plotting page-turning books, even if you hate the idea of outlines.
A successful plan for getting the words done and finishing what you start.
A run-down of the different indie publishing options, along with all their pros and cons.
Tips for sourcing and managing your editors, designers, proofreaders, and other professionals.
Identifying your ideal reader and finding ways to reach them.
How to leverage author newsletters to empower readers.
Romancing the algorithm: how to use Amazon and other retailers’ search engines and tools to help your books get found.
The different advertising and promoting options, and how and when to leverage each. This is marketing on any sized budget.
One-size-fits-nobody: tools to help you create the author career you want, in any genre, without having to fit your writing into some kind of box.
Case studies and examples from successful indie authors, including some of my own lessons.
How to create a sustainable writing career that will earn for you for years to come.

Ready to earn your first $1000 as a novel writer and kickstart your writing dreams? Sign up today:

Who will benefit from Your First Indie $1000?

This course is ideal for writers of all levels of experience who want to try and build a successful indie author career. Whether you’ve yet to finish that first novel, or you’ve been publishing for a while but haven’t hit your income goals yet, I can help give you a plan to make your dreams a reality.

This course isn’t for those people who want to write just one book and forget it, but people who want to make a viable living as an author. It’s ideally suited to genre writers, but literary writers will find much of value also.

If you are writing something other than novels – poetry, short fiction, non-fiction, shopping lists – you will find some aspects applicable, and others not so much.

How YOUR FIRST INDIE $1000 is taught.

This is an eight-week writing and publishing course, taught in a combination of email lessons, a Facebook group, and live hangout Q&As where you can ask questions and get feedback on what you’ve been working on so far.

Every week you’ll receive an email lesson about a different facet of earning your first $1000. We’ll cover writing, researching the market, covers, blurbs, launch, and marketing. These are meaty lessons with tons of tips, links to other resources, and actionable steps to get you moving.
You’ll be invited into the private Facebook group, where you’ll be able to chat with other students, post your writing or ask questions. I’ll be hanging out there to give tons of one-on-one feedback. And I’ll even invite some of my other author friends to come and talk to you about their experiences.
I’ll hold one Facebook live call, where you can hop on and chat in person, and ask all your questions.

Who’s the teacher?

The would be me. I’m Steff, a New York TImes and USA Today bestselling author of both dark dystopian fantasy and paranormal romance (under Steffanie Holmes). I’m the author of sixteen books (seventeen by the time this course begins). I’m super passionate about being an indie writer and helping others to succeed.

Currently, I teach creative writing at Rutherford College Community Education, and I’ve previously taught through Sewlyn College. I’m a regular speaker at Romance Writers of New Zealand conferences on the topics of indie publishing and online marketing. I’ve worked with startups, corporates and small businesses all over the world to help them grow and maintain an authentic online presence.

This is the first completely online course I’ve run. It’s cool, because this means I can help authors from anywhere in the world.

What I won’t tell you:

This course is about writing something that inspires you, while finding the best way to reach the readers who are interested in that. I won’t tell you to write a specific genre, to publish a certain number of books, to make books free, to price books high, to make a sacrifice to the Elder Gods … if you want to write, and you want to earn four-figures a month as a writer, then I want you to be able to do that on your own terms.

You write what you want to write. I’ll just help you do it better.

Click to join the class now for only $99USD (approx $139 NZD).We’ll be starting classes on May 15, 2017. Spots are limited to only thirty places, so be in quick! 

Post-Scriptum: Smoke in my eyes, hip hop on my lips, in my castle in the clouds.

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In my ears: The soundtrack from Marvel’s Luke Cage. Yes, this is mostly hip hop and R&B, which is a really odd choice for me. And it is the soundtrack from a superhero show, which is doubly unusual.

We just finished watching Jessica Jones – the only superhero show I’ve ever actually enjoyed, because it was dark and gritty and wodnerfully sick – and decided to give Luke Cage a go, as Cage is a character in Jessica Jones and their stories interconnect. The show is set in Harlem and has socio-political commentary as a main theme, and this is carried through to the music in a big way. I’m writing a book at the moment with a POC main character who has to deal with racism as part of her daily life. It’s been an interesting experience trying to get inside that character’s head to experience what she does (not having been subjected to racism personally). This music is really helping me to dig deep into her psyche. Also, it’s bloody good. Check out “Good Man” by Raphael Saadiq, and “Long Live the Chief”, by Jidenna.

Here’s the latter from that show.

Reading: I am now communiting into the city a lot more before, which means I’m reading more than ever. Last month I polished off Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash, Tabitha Kiss’ Muffin Top (this was hilarious), and H. Y. Hanna’s Four Puddings and a Funeral (also hilarious). I’m currently working my way through Caitin Doughty’s Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and now I really want to write a heroine who works at a funeral home.

Writing: Hollow releases on the 18th and I’m so excited! I’m 50k words into the second Wolves of Crookshollow book, Writing the Wolf, which will be done in May. For more writing updates, follow my patreon.

Watching: I think I mentioned most of this above, but we’re currently finishing up Luke Cage, and then we’re gonna hit Stranger Things.

On the farm: The biggest, most exciting news of all is that CDH and I moved into our brand new tower bedroom over the weekend. That’s right, we’re not sleeping in a tower, with a view across the water and over our little kingdom of sheep and chickens. Even though the rest of the house isn’t quite finished yet, this is a pretty important milestone for us, as we’re finally feeling as though we’ve accomplished something. Our next step is saving enough money to afford to bring the plumber back so he can hook up our ensuite bathroom so we don’t have to clomp downstairs if we need to go in the middle of the night.

Loving: When your friend’s daughter sends you a txt message and it looks suspiciously like a cultic chant to the Elder Gods. \m/ Planning an epic hike down in Stewart Island \m/ Getting my writing shit in order, focusing, narrowing down, figuring out my next steps. I have a big goal in mind and this year is all about making it happen. \m/ Made my first rolled lamb leg roast on Sunday, to celebrate our new bedroom. Jamie Oliver’s stuffed lamb leg is a perfect roll of meaty goodness tied in neat intervals. Mine is a radioactive slug oozing walnut guts all over the pan. Still tasted good, though. \m/ Lindsey Stirling next week and Fleshgod Apocalypse in May – total polar opposites, but both shows will be awesome. \m/ Discovering a new favourite bakery. \m/ My husband, working his arse off every waking minute to get this house finished for me. \m/ Making delicious cherry mead, and about to lay down some feijoa wine. \m/ HAVING MY OWN WALK-IN WARDROBE. It is heaven. It even has a shelf for all my hats! I will post more pictures once all our artwork is up and I’m happy with everything and I put all my socks away. \m/

That’s my week. How’s yours?

When I’m not blasting hip hop music at top volume to annoy my husband, I write dark urban fantasy novels. My latest book, Petrified City, first in the new Chronicles of the Wraith series, is out now. Grab your copy from Amazon, or join my mailing list to stay up-to-date with the series.

10 kick ass metal women who totally rock my world.

Last week, it was International Woman’s Day – a day where we celebrate how awesome it is that some of us have a vagina. To me, this isn’t a day to make claims of superiority, or to focus on women to the exclusion of other identities. It’s a day to celebrate the social, cultural, political, and economic achievements of women, and to take action to give the next generation of women greater freedom and choice.

As a woman who takes pride in being part of the metal “scene,” (which is, by it’s nature, a predominently masculine culture) I thought it would be a great opportunity to highlight some of the “metal” women I admire, who have been role models for me throughout my life; as artists, mothers, friends, businesswomen, philanthropists, activists, and warriors of metal in their own right. Some of them you’d have heard of, others you might not, but all are awesome.

1. Suzi Quatro

Suzi Q was my Dad’s great teenage love, and I can see why. A firecracker on a motorcycle, with a voice so husky it was like she should be a representative for a Quit Smoking campaign, Suzi Q has sold over 50 million albums and was the first female bass player to ever become a major rock star in her own right. Her songs are filled with sass and attitude, and she plays the bass like a boss. I was thrilled to see her in concert here in New Zealand, where she spoke with openness and humour about the struggles of being a female in the rock industry, her life, and her inspiration. On 24 October 2013, Quatro received the Woman of Valor Award from the organisation Musicians for Equal Opportunities for Women (MEOW) for her role inspiring and influencing generations of female musicians. For an introduction to Suzi’s work, try her album Suzi Quatro.

2. Bif Naked

When I was a teen, I wanted to be Bif Naked. I wanted to sing angsty songs about boys and travelling through America with my lesbian lover and get tons of tattoos and look like an Egyptian goddess. Her music is so raw and brutal – and her life has been pretty brutal at times, as well. Bif is an incredible woman, working tirelessly with the causes she believes in, even while she fights her own battle with breast cancer. I love that she lives her ethos of being punk rock, but is also unbelievably kind.

Bif Naked spoke at the University of the Fraser Valley for International Women’s Day on March 8, 2013, where it was announced she would be awarded an honorary doctorate from the university. For an intro into Bif’s work, try her album I Bificus, or her book (also called I Bificus).

3. Chelsea Wolfe

The current darling of the alternative music scene and a new obsession of mine, Chelsea Wolfe’s stunning albums have served as soundscapes for some of my own art over the last few years. She combines elements of neofolk, metal and gothic music into sweeping soundscapes of haunting beauty. Chelsea is profoundly shy and anxious of crowds. In her early performances she would wear a veil. She credits medical marijuana as an aid in helping her overcome this anxiety, and she is a prominent activist and spokesperson for the medical marijuana movement. For an introduction to Chelsea Wolfe’s work, try her album Abyss.

4. Angela Gassow

The first woman I ever really saw performing extreme metal, Angela’s aggression and power bleed onto every track. She brings that same energy to her live performances. She’s one of the major role models for women in extreme metal, and that is a label she carries with pride and compassion. She left her position as frontwoman for Arch Enemy in 2014 to focus on the management side of the band. But in Jan she announced she’ll be returning to the stage with a new project. She’s also the voice of Lavona Succuboso in Metalocalypse. Angela is outspoken about her views as a vegan, an anarchist, and a follower of the straight-edge lifestyle. For more information on Angela, check out the Arch Enemy album Anthems of Rebellion.

5. Jinx Dawson – Coven

OMG, Coven – the psychedelic rock band with occult lyrics from the 70s that had little goth me swooning at one point in my life. Jinx Dawson and Siouxie Sioux (another idol of mine) have been the style queens behind many a teenage goth wardrobe. Dawson was famous for elaborate “satanic” rites on stage – the band were at one point opening for the likes of Alice Cooper and the Yardbirds, and building a solid rep for themselves (Black Sabbath were called by an early reviewer, “England’s answer to Coven,”) before an Esquire article linked the band (unfairly) to Charles Manson, and their record label pulled their record. Coven never reached celebrity status, but they’re a pretty popular favourite among us buddy old goths. I admired Dawson’s vocals (she’s a trained opera singer, and it shows) and her commitment to performance. She’s also worked as a model, a fashion designer/stylist, and she still performing under the name “Coven”. For an introduction to Jinx Dawson, check out Coven’s Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reaps Souls album.

6. Amanda Palmer

Amanda Palmer made her name in the alt music scene with her first band, The Dresden Dolls, in the early 2000s, and she made it again when she convinced her label to drop her, raised more than $1 million for an album on Kickstarter, and married writer Neil Gaiman. Amanda’s music is more “punk rock cabaret” than metal, but her attitude is pure rock n roll give no fucks, take no prisoners. I don’t always like all of her work, and I don’t always agree with everything she says, but I deeply admire the way she builds community, shares everything she is, goes after causes she believes in (there have been too many to name), and serves as a fearless leader for a new type of artist > fan relationship. Oh, and her music is amazing.

For an introduction to Amanda Palmer, check out her album Theatre is Evil, and her book, Art of Asking.

7. Andy Pants

Andy is an amazing friend of mine. She works with victims of sexual violence as a day job, has been 1/2 of The Apocalypse since we started it five years ago, is an amazing vocalist, and is also a wife and mother to two gorgeous girls (and stepmom to another). Andy and I go way back – we met through another friend who was her boyfriend at the time. He and I have the same eye condition, and when we discovered this she MAY have thought I was trying to steal him away. Not a chance. :)

She is the BEST person to talk to if you are in trouble and need to figure out what to do, and she is incredibly, unbelievably kind. This is the girl who will drop everything if you’re in trouble, and will go to the ends of the earth to do something kind without any thought of what she’ll get in return. She is always the life of the party, and getting everyone into trouble. :) I’d be pretty damn lost without her in my life. If you want to see Andy in action, check out The Asockalypse.

8. Grim Kim Kelly

Kim is regarded as one of the most important voices in metal journalism today, whether you love her or hate her. I adore Kim’s writing – she injects so much humour, intelligence, and wit into her pieces, you can tell she’s the author from the very first paragraph. If I see her name on anything, whether it’s an article on underground goregrind bands, a festival review, or a shopping list, I’m gonna read it. She also has moxy. You have to, to do what she does in a male-dominated scene where many internet-trolls aren’t afraid to spew ridiculous hatred at her just because she has breasts and an opinion. For more information on Kim’s work, check out her twitter.

9. Amy Howat

Amy is another friend of mine. She is also the brains behind Northwic, a bespoke wedding couture and costume design company operating out of Helensville, Auckland. Amy’s work is extremely detailed, bordering on obsessive. She’s super-creative and incredibly dedicated, as well as being a genuine kind and fun person. That picture is her, wearing the wedding dress she made for her recent wedding. THE WOMAN MADE HER OWN WEDDING DRESS and looked like a magazine spread. She and her husband are our fellow crazy build-a-house-live-in-the-country friends, and it’s gonna be amazing watching their house go up just as ours is finishing.

We’re currently working on a super-secret project at the moment, and I can’t wait to see what happens with it this year!

For more information on Amy’s work, check out Northwic, and Northwic on instagram.

10. My mum

What self-respecting woman doesn’t put their mother – the woman from whom they receive so much of their personality, education, and attitude  – on their list? My mum is pretty awesome, and not just because she conquered the Inca Trail in 2015, when she was 59. This woman is fun, compassionate, supportive, and incredibly kind, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without her.

There are so so many more women who inspire me every day with their stories and their art and their humour and their kindness. I couldn’t add them all to this list. Who have I missed? Who inspires you?

When I’m not blasting metal at top volume, I write dark urban fantasy novels. My latest book, Petrified City, first in the new Chronicles of the Wraith series, is out now. Grab your copy from Amazon, or join my mailing list to stay up-to-date with the series.

My latest urban fantasy book, Ossified State, is available now

Another month, another book release! Lindsey and I have finished the second book in the Chronicles of the Wraith series: Ossified State. This is a dark, dystopian urban fantasy series and I think you should definitely give it a go, whether you prefer my romances or my science fiction books. It’s available as an ebook on Amazon for $3.99, or FREE if you have Kindle Unlimited. The paperback will be coming soon.

For ten long years, Raine endured prison, slavery, and isolation, all to stay near Petrified City. Her daughter and boyfriend are trapped inside the domed metropolis—left there to die along with the wraith, the energy-gorging ghosts that sucked the city dry. Every day, Raine surveys the exterior of the dome, waiting and watching for any sign that her family is still alive.

One day, that sign comes.

After an explosion rocks the dome, Raine’s equipment no longer registers any wraith inside. Raine and Jack—a fellow engineer who would do anything for her—enlist the help of a rogue wraith to help get her inside the dome. Even though the wraith are gone, what Raine finds inside the dead city is so much worse than she could ever imagine.

Now, Raine must join forces with a woman who wishes her dead, and the boyfriend and daughter who thought she’d abandoned them, to stop this evil from doing the unthinkable—breaking out of the dome and unleashing a new terror upon the world.

Ossified State is the second book in the Chronicles of the Wraith urban fantasy series by New York Times bestselling author S C Green and international bestselling author Lindsey R Loucks. Packed with action, passion, and retribution, this novel will be impossible to put down.

I’ve been having a lot of fun writing this series. There are two more books planned in the Chronicles of the Wraith world, and I hope to be able to start working on the third one around May/June. The stakes are raised pretty high for Sydney and Alain and May and the gang in this book, and things are gonna get a whole lot more brutal.

Don’t forget, if you want to read my books before anyone else, as well as get some awesome bonus content and behind-the-scenes updates, check out my patreon page.

Screw you Amazon, I’m going wide.

For the last couple of years, I’ve been publishing my books exclusively through Amazon’s Kindle Select program. This enables my books to be borrowed by readers enrolled in Kindle Unlimited, which is essentially like Spotify for books, where you can borrow books for a monthly fee, and authors are paid around 0.004 cents per page you read.

In order for a book to be considered for Kindle Unlimited, that book has to be exclusive to Amazon. This means readers who use iBooks, Nook, Kobo, or other platforms couldn’t easily get my books, unless they purchased them from Amazon and used some piece of software to convert the file.

I chose to go with Kindle Unlimited because of the opportunity to reach a huge range of readers. It can be hard to convince readers to spend $3-5 on a book by an unknown author. However, in KU, readers can borrow as many books as they like, which means the barriers to trying my books are gone. For a new writer like me, that’s gold.

While for the most part, the experiment in KU has been a success, I’ve decided it is time to leave the program. My reasons for this mainly have to do with the way Amazon have been running the program – arbitrarily enforcing rules, their inability to deal with scammers or accurately account for the number of pages read in KU (and therefore, the correct amount owed to authors), the PageFlip issue, shutting down author accounts because their books had been pirated and therefore broke the exclusivity clause (not the author’s fault) … the list goes on. Every day when I check the author forums or Facebook pages I belong to, I hear more stories of woe, mostly from authors in the KU program.

I grew tired of constantly worrying if I was compliant, and I hated the reliance on a single platform for my income. I felt that I was helping to train readers to expect books for free, and since I pour everything I have into my books, I want them to be valued. These factors, coupled with the recent pageflip issues crippling my income and requests from readers to make my books widely available, making the switch was a no-brainer.

Over the last month I’ve been pulling my books one by one and publishing them across all platforms. So far, all of my Steffanie Holmes books have been published to Amazon, iBooks, B&N, Kobo, and Google Play. My S C Green books will follow a little later in the year.

I’d like to re-iterate that you can still buy my books from Amazon. The only thing you can’t do anymore is borrow them through the Kindle Unlimited program.

If you’re a reader who’s been waiting to get my titles on a non-Amazon platform, now is your chance. Check out the Steffanie Holmes titles on Amazon , iBooks , B&N , Kobo , and Google Play .

And, if you become a patreon supporter, you’ll get every book I’ve ever published for free.

Digging the Wolf and Writing the Wolf

To celebrate the wide launch, I’ve got Digging the Wolf on sale for $0.99 for the next couple of days. If you’ve ever wanted to read one of my paranormal romances, give this one a shot.

You can grab Digging the Wolf on Amazon, iBooks, Nook, Google Play, and Kobo for just $0.99.

AND, the latest book in my Wolves of Crookshollow series, Writing the Wolf, is now available for pre-order on Amazon, B&N, and iBooks (Google Play and Kobo coming soon). Grab your copy today and be one of the first to read it on your chosen platform.

What’s next for me?

Now that my books are wide, I’m focusing on growing my audiences on these platforms with some targeted ads. In March, our new urban fantasy book Ossified State will be published. Then I’ll need to write book 3 in the Witches of the Woods series, books 3-4 in the Crookshollow Wolves series, as well as books 3-4 in the Chronicles of the Wraith series. I want all 3 series wrapped up by the end of the year, so 2018 will be a year of new projects and new worlds.

So that’s me, leaving behind the shackles of Amazon exclusivity and off on a multi-platform adventure. I hope you’ll come along for the ride!