Aathira Jim's Blog, page 4

T - Tara

Image Source
Flitting in the corners of my mind In the spaces between your fingers Memory glides in, filling in that empty spaceA bygone era, good times and bad 
Teaching me something, always Yet it's the ghost of the ones gone sourThat haunt me still, keeping me awakeIn crowded rooms and on starless nights 
The slimy wet memory that Makes you break out in a cold sweatOr the smile of an old friend Lighting you up from inside 
Broken glasses, stained fingers Swollen lips, secret letters That swing in the corner of our parkWhere we used to sit, holding hands 
Let me go back once more Experience it all over again Even those tears that were spilt Just to feel your hands Trace those salt tracks on my cheeks...

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

S - Sasha

Image Source
Sasha took a deep drag from the cigarette dangling on her fingertips, inhaling it in, feeling the smoke fill her lungs. Though she called herself the occasional smoker, the need to burn through a packet per day had turned into the norm. 
She liked to blame it on the stress that was eating her up. The constantly criticizing boss at work. The back stabbing friend. The ex who still gave her nightmares. So many reasons. One more toxic than the other. It was funny how it was easier to blame others than own it up herself. 
Life sucked for her, that was how she felt. There would always be one thing or the other going on and she would feel the tingle start to creep up on her and her fingers would involuntarily reach for the pack that she kept on her work desk. 
She raised enough eyebrows as it is with the bold colors she wore and her don't-care attitude. But this time, today, she knew was different. This time, she would try genuinely, for herself. Sometimes, the only person that would stick by your side through it all is yourself. And sometimes, that was enough. 

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

R - Reva

Image Source
I sit down to write and my mind is completely blank. Writer's block, a lazy excuse I read somewhere. So many things I want to say and yet I'm unable to capture the beauty of it the way I want. That's when I think of you. And my words flow...
Your skin smooth like silk, your lips warm and inviting, your arms that crush me against the length of your body. I can write a whole book on the way you make me feel and still find it incomplete. Or maybe I should write a saga on our story. 
There are things I wish to tell you in person, things that I want to say aloud as I look into your eyes. But as always, the words refuse to leave my mouth, getting stuck somewhere in between my throat that I swallow it in haste. 
Would I ever be able to tell you how much you mean to me? Will I ever have the courage to do so? Or will I be labelled as a freak of nature for daring to love you? Just because I'm a woman like you?

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

Q - Qurbani

Image Source
Have you heard the sound of a heart breaking? It's as silent as the first drop of rain on your cheeks. It's as soft as the morning dew under your bare feet when you step outside at dawn, while rest of the world is asleep. 
Heart aches, heart breaks. Does it all feel and sound the same? Is it the sound of melancholy when you sit alone watching the rain pour down? Or is it the deafening silence that replaces the presence of a loved one?
For me, it was the sound of my front door banging shut when you left. It's tremors were felt when I saw you go back to her, the one who broke your heart. It reverberated through my entire body like a physical ache. I knew right at the beginning I could never replace her, but I was there for you, it was the least I could do.
You wanted more, you always did, I was never enough. For you, I was just a friend. You can break my heart all you want, you know I will always welcome you back home when you need me. But tell me one thing, a temporary fixture, was that all I was? A place to linger, but never stay? 

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

P - Pournami

Image Source
Medical or Engineering? What would you prefer? These were the only options that I was givenWhat about the arts? 
That's where my passion liesYou can't make a living out of a hobby I was admonished, get a proper degree Forced to take up a field I had no interest in 
I slogged away for years I graduated, got a well paying job Worked promptly from 9 to 5Doing seemingly satisfying work 
But at night I took out my brushes And I turned to my passion To create, to breathe, to live And tried not to notice That twinge of regret I felt otherwise...

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

O - Ophelia

Image Source

Things went from bad to worse over a period of few months. True, they had known each other for a long time but tying the knot meant taking on more responsibilities. It meant sharing not just the good things, but the bad stuff as well. 
The blame game started soon after. Egos grew bigger, till they touched the sky. Coming back down to earth seemed almost like an impossible feat. Bank accounts doubled, tripled and the size of their hearts grew smaller and smaller. So small that it was difficult to even find place for the love that they shared initially. 
Until one day, she grew fed up with all the fighting and whispered those magic words, one that neither of them had bothered to utter since the day they had started living together. 
"I'm sorry", Ophelia whispered. 
Maybe it didn't solve all of their problems. Maybe all it did was buy them a little more time. Or maybe, just maybe, they learned to take the first steps together in forgiving each other in a long journey.

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

N - Natasha

Image Source
Look into my eyes when you talk to me Keep your phone away, so will I Let't talk about things that matter for a change Not just the bills to be paid or the outstanding EMI 
Let's go on an impromptu trip For old time's sake, couple of clothes and faithAnd let's escape reality Let's forget there are chores to be done 
And travel to a place where the earth meets the skyWhere the sea has endless waves sweeping us away And stay in a cosy place that has no wi-fi At night we will read by the fireplace 
Listen to all those albums that we have But have been too busy to hear all this whileThose long hikes that we thought we outgrew Can we try it one more time?
Take a plunge and try doing thingsWe have been putting off for a long time Ice-cream cones at midnight Books that have been piling on our shelves
Try not to think too much And let's do this one last timeFor you, for me, for usFor what we once were...

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

M - Mikaela

Image Source

You have 10 new notifications. 
The message popped up on her phone screen first thing in the morning. A few likes and comments on her recent picture. After checking and replying to it, she scrolled through her home page and it was soon filled with updates from the various people on her friends list. An old classmate had gotten married and she proudly showed off her marriage pictures. She clicked a like. They had hardly exchanged two words since connecting on social media, but wouldn't it be rude not to even like the picture?
She scrolled down again. A colleague had given birth and the update showed a beaming mother with her hands around a tiny bundle. Again, a like. Scrolling down, more happy pictures. She felt the familiar sense of dissatisfaction creeping upon her. What was she even doing with her life when all around her people seemed to be living their dream lives? She hated herself for thinking the way she did. 
She went to the settings tab on her profile and clicked on the deactivate profile option. Confirm deactivation of account? 
Was she sure? No, she wasn't sure. Social media had helped her in connecting with some of her good friends and keeping in touch with them, it had also given her a voice when she wanted to be heard. But more often than not, her voice got drowned in millions of others and it turned into a disturbing noise, nothing more. She clicked on no and went back to the home screen on her phone and uninstalled the little blue icon there. She was done. And now, maybe she can carry on. Or she could at least try. 

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

L - Lana

Image Source
Doe-like eyes, flawless skin
I was envied for all this and more
I was content, the way I was
Till the day he came along

Told me he loved me
And wouldn't take no for an answer
How dare I spurn his love!
And so he decided to teach me a lesson

I was walking by unsuspecting
When he sprung upon me from a street corner
Throwing what felt like molten lava on my fire
A tiny vial of acid was all it took

Sweet revenge for him, a loss of life for me
A life that was blissfully unaware
Of the curve-ball that it was to throw my way
My skin melted, my face and body disfigured

I contemplated ending my wretched life
Where people stared at my face
For all the reasons that I did not want
Pity in their eyes, thanking their stars it's not them

My nemesis walked away free
But it took me many years to break the shackles
Surgery, skin grafts and years of darkness
Was all it took to rebuild my life from scratch

Today, I have started to dream again
Of a life that will be filled with more kindness
One where I may even have a family
He may have poured acid on my skin
But my dreams still remain untarnished..


Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.

K - Kiara

Image Source

I scribble few lines in my notebook. Scratch out the words that look so out of place in those pages soon after. When it comes to you, I seem to run out of words. How do I describe the way you make me feel? I can write that your smile reminds me of summer rain or that your hands traces maps on mine or the way your skin tastes like sea breeze. But nothing I write will do justice to the way you make me feel. What is a writer to do when this happens? 
You had asked me long back what it was about you that I fell in love with. Today, my darling, I can say that you are the only one that I could never capture perfectly on paper. It's the first time that the ink from my pen failed to match the images imprinted inside my head. And somehow, it doesn't bother me one bit. You remain locked up inside me, my very own secret. A writer's selfishness or a lover's possessiveness? Maybe a bit of both...

Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.