Rachel Luckett-Connor's Blog

It’s okay to hate winter, and it’s more than okay to love yourself.

I found myself wondering how my neighbours were doing the other day (which is rare for me, I must be honest).

I then thought to myself “this can be a crap time of year for a lot of people – Christmas comedown, S.A.D, debt from last year and just feeling blah with the dark days/dark nights etc”.

I know it’s only a little thing but I put a notice up on our communal message board in the hopes that it might make someone feel a bit better. I thought it was worth sharing here too:

Hi everyone,

There’s no getting around it…for many of us, this is a shit time of year. You don’t need to deny that and you certainly don’t need to feel bad about it.

If you’re struggling with the day to day and feeling burnt out, if the dark mornings and cold nights are just making everything 100 times harder, I want to remind you that you deserve to rest, have fun and do things that make you happy.

Read a book, drink hot chocolate, play a video game, watch cartoons, research fun and free things to do in your area (and do them, even if you plan to do them once the weather’s nicer), go for a walk, learn how to knit, colour something in, book a coffee date with a friend, visit a friend with a really cute pet, plan that trip you’ve always wanted to take. The only qualifier is how truly, deep-in-your-bones good it makes you feel.

Your wellbeing is important. You are important.

No matter what’s going on in your life or what’s making you sad or stressed right now, know that you’re loved, and someone’s rooting for you.

You’re doing better than you think. I promise.

Love,

Your Neighbour xxx

Come see me and Rob at Thoughtbubble Leeds 2017!

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Just a heads-up to let you know that my partner Rob Luckett and I have a table at this year’s Thoughtbubble Comic Art Festival in Leeds!

Thoughtbubble was the very first con Rob and I ever tabled, and it’s absolutely one of the highlights of our year. If you love comics – both big publisher and indie – you’re bound to find something to your liking. If you’re attending, do pop along to table #36 in the Leeds Town Hall marquee to say hello and pick up a Bumstorm comic or two!

Look out for this here banner created by Rob:

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We’ll also have copies of our Regular Show graphic novels to buy (each signed at no extra cost). Please do bring along your Ed Edd n Eddy comics, DVDs or other merchandise for signing. Or y’know, come by for a gab. That’s fine too

When Alyssa met Billy. Some thoughts.

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Hey, Billy. 

May I call you Billy?

Honestly, so many names have been flying about the place this afternoon in relation to you, it’s hard to keep track.

I’ll stick with Billy. I know from Alyssa’s date with you that you prefer when you’re the focus of a conversation.

Oh, Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy.

There’s so much I want to say, so much I need your help with.

I’ve brought along a copy of that charming dating piece featuring you and Alyssa, just in case you needed to refresh your memory on anything we discuss today.

[image error]Photograph taken by Maya Kosoff

I have to say Billy, I’m…worried about you, mate. A bunch of us are. I know you’re looking at me all confused right now like an over-pampered Upper East Side boy in an Outback Steakhouse, so I’ll cut to the chase.

I think we know why you’re struggling to find love. 

You say it’s due to your busy schedule. I don’t doubt that’s part of it, Billy. All snark aside, actors have to hustle. Endless auditions, networking, researching roles, rehearsing…it’s a grind. I hear ya.

But then…that’s pretty much everyone, Billy. Everyone has ‘stuff’ that takes up their time. Everyone from the high-flying executive to the parent on welfare. The teacher. The binman. The retired postal worker. The social worker. The mechanic. Possibly even the waiter, who you apparently used some Jedi mind trick on to make him fetch a steak for Alyssa that was to your liking. So much stuff, swirling around.

Endless.

Yet…many of these people, stuff and all, can find love one way or another. So perhaps we need to set your acting career aside for a moment and have a look at what else is going on.

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Pass me the breadbasket, Billy. No, not a breadstick, the basket. I’m going to need a whole load of carbs for this hi-intensity burst of Truth-squats I’m about to lay on you.

See, a bunch of us are real confused right now, Billy. We didn’t expect to feel such a visceral reaction over a dating fluff piece.

It’s Wednesday.

It’s hot.

We were thinking about how many more minutes we have to haul our asses though until the weekend, or whether to get Vietnamese tonight, or whether our roommate’s managed to drag a sponge over four days’ worth of dishes yet, or what the fuck’s taking Game of Thrones so long. Talk about burning through time, amirite? Like, set Dany’s big scaly babies loose on this whole month, I need my Tormund Giantsbane fix yesterday.

The young singletons of New York didn’t ask to be scared away from modern dating forever, as if they weren’t one foot towards the hills already. Those of us who’ve been out of the dating game a while now, well, we didn’t ask to be grabbed by the spleen and javelin-tossed backwards into those turgid memories of encountering baffling, self-confidence annihilating...individuals like you.

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See, I was going to call you a name, but I’ve called you plenty already today as it is. I’m not proud of that. I usually keep off the Twitter bandwagon until I’ve heard both sides. In this instance, however, I’m not entirely sure there’s anything you can say to redeem yourself after your encounter with the lovely Alyssa.

And she is lovely, y’know. Lovely, kind, conscientious and warm, according to many reports.

[image error]Photo courtesy of Maya Kosoff

You claim that Alyssa didn’t ‘bring the goods’, but you then go on to say you had a nice conversation and she complimented you a lot. You say she was always sweet, always smiling, and it seems she took a genuine interest in you as a person. It’s fascinating that so many of Alyssa’s attributes that you apparently found tedious would rank pretty high on the ‘must-have’ lists of countless guys (and girls) in New York, and indeed the world.

Do you ever wonder why this is?

Perhaps your next move should be to take yourself to a nice, lonely bench, sit down and have a real good think. Call me crazy, but I can see many, many lonely benches in your future, Billy. But then, I also think people are entitled to have their steak reduced to ash if that’s what makes them happy, so what do I know?

Lots of people have rallied around Alyssa, y’know. People who know her, people who don’t, people who never will…but I’d go as far to guess that all of them know you, or at least different variants of you.

See, people like you, Billy…they’re everywhere.

They’re just not usually so foolhardy as to put their damage out there for the whole world to see. They usually have a small, urgent voice at the back of their skull. A voice that whispers… “Don’t do that. Don’t verbally lacerate some sweet girl in a newspaper just because she didn’t meet your impossibly high standards. People won’t respond well to that.”

Perhaps this was some quaint attempt at exposure on your part. Even bad press is good press, right? I can see that.

If I was your agent however, I think I’d  be in a bit of a pickle. I fear it’s going to be difficult to pitch you for a romantic lead now, considering the fact that a whole swathe of New York’s female populace now find you utterly repulsive.

I’m not knocking you for not being attracted to Alyssa (beautiful as she is). Physical attraction a largely unconscious response that you have no control over…but considering that so much of a person’s worth has so little to do with what you would have seen in those first few seconds Alyssa was in your life, I’m not entirely sure you have the correct definition of ‘goods’.

Just to make clear, I don’t think this behaviour is exclusive to your gender. There are plenty of douchey, superficial and immature girls out there in the dating scene, too. You may have been out with a few of them, or grew up with them. They may have said some things – or not said some things – that still linger with you today.

Could this be why you’ve created this…almost Hans-from-Frozen-esque veneer of reptilian contempt you seem to possess for sweet girls who dare to run five minutes late in New Fucking York? That’s not really my question to ask – I’m no psychiatrist, after all – but it is intriguing, don’t you think?

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If someone once made you feel so small and inadequate, that you now resort to walls of ice to keep you safe from any kind of emotional vulnerability at all, then…that is truly sad

…and I’m sorry.

I really am. 

I know from personal experience that hurt people hurt people.

When you’re wounded inside, that can so distort and discolour your view of the world, of those around you. It can make you dismiss kind people, warm people, smiling people who like to explore your hopes and dreams and light up at the thought of ice cream. Like a mantle of thorns, it keeps you safe, untouchable, and ultimately the one who bleeds the most.

All this aside, Billy, I really hope we can put much of your folly down to youth. I hope this is something that individuals such as you can overcome. This is a sharp world, a hurting world.

We need humans with full hearts, not walking wounds, and who can find love because they know what love is.

You are, however, correct. Alyssa is not the girl for you. She’s the girl for that guy who’s sick of boys like you, and knows that the true goods of a woman aren’t found in her panting scurry through some hoity-toity restaurant doors.

The real goods of a woman are found in a place that right now seems sadly beyond your reach.

Rest assured, young Billy. Alyssa will live her life, and she’ll live it well.

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A cuppa and catchup with Author Liz De Jager!

It’s time for another cuppa and catchup! This time I invited the lovely Liz de Jager along to talk about writing YA, bullet journals and pearls of wisdom for her younger writing self…

Rachel Connor: Welcome to my humble blog, Liz! Tell us a bit about yourself and what creative stuff you’re working on at the moment.

[image error]Liz De Jager: Hi! I’m so pleased to be here – thanks for the invite. So, I’m the author of a completed trilogy for YA (and other discerning readers regardless of age) called The Blackhart Trilogy.

The series follows Kit Blackhart who gets thrown in the deep end when in the first book she saves a Fae prince from becoming a snack for some bad guys and then: shenanigans!

What I’m up to at the moment: I’m editing a new book. It’s full on fantasy and I have no idea if its good. I hope it is! I’ve also become a bit of a crafter and mixed media enthusiast, making stuff and selling it on.

Rachel: I was first introduced to your work when I read Banished, part one of your fiendishly fun Blackhart Legacy trilogy. Can we hold out hope for more books set in the ‘Blackhart’ universe?

Liz: Sadly no. The Blackhart world has drawn to a close after the initial trilogy.

Rachel: Have you always known you were going to be a writer? When was your earliest memory where you knew this was the life for you?

Liz: I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I’ve always been an avid reader and I had to look after my hundreds of nieces and nephews at family gettogethers so I ended up reading to them from my tiny library I was allowed to have. When I ran out of books of my own, I started making stuff up to entertain them.

It never actually occurred to me, until I moved to the UK from South Africa in 2000 that I could actually write and be published.

Rachel: Since ‘Blackhart’ you’ve started working on something you’ve tantalisingly called the ‘Batshit Fantasy Idea™’ – can you tell us anything about this?

Liz: Well. What I can say is that I was desperate to do something different than contemporary fantasy. So I thought I’d write full on fantasy a la Joe Abercrombie and those guys. But I wanted to retell the story of Mulan somehow and have it be for younger readers.

Oh my goodness, the second the main character stepped on the page, she was just so full of vim and vigour and challenging, that I knew the book was not meant to be for younger readers.

Anything else about it: well, it’s set in a very far future where things have gone very badly for our world due an Event of Devastating Consequences. So things have reverted back to pre-medieval times with no technology to speak of.

There’s a biggish cast of characters too which is unusual for me, so I had to focus hugely on making my two main characters stand out.

Rachel: I have you to thank for my devotion to bullet journals – how did you find out about them and how do you feel they’ve benefited your writing/life etc? What would you recommend for someone who’s just getting started with bullet journaling?

[image error]Liz: Bullet journaling is so…life-changing. However it’s marmite. It either works for you, or it doesn’t. For those who don’t know about bullet journaling, check out this site, where you will learn about it all. But basically it’s an analogue system for a digital age.

Bullet journaling keeps me organised. I am not an organised person. If I don’t give myself parameters, I will live in a mess of books, inks, laptops and stationery and be 100% happy.

I relish chaos. So it was with reluctance that I took up bullet journaling, only to discover that it works for me. I won’t go much into it as it’s a bit weird reading about people’s obsession but, it allows me to organise my days so that I can have writing time with no guilt.

I think a lot of writers worry about things when they sit down to write. Doing the dishes, doing the washing, walking the dog, ordering groceries, shopping for groceries, doing the ironing. With this system you organise yourself, optimising your day.

So in that respect it has helped but what helps me when I sit down to write is, as always, The Pomodoro Technique. It’s simple.

Turn off all electronic devices that will disturb you.
Set a timer for 40 minutes and write until the timer goes off.
Then you stand up, stretch, catch up on emails/twitter/facebook/jump up and down, pee, make tea, for say 20 minutes
Sit down again for a further 40 minutes.

Obviously you can make the stretches that you write be 30 minutes or whatever, but NOT an hour. An hour tends to drag at you and your attention will wander.

Rachel: How important do you think it is for a writer to connect with other writers? Has having other writerly friends helped you on your journey?

Liz: I think having writerly friends really does help. No one else quite gets us, to be honest. Your other friends would go: come out to the pub / dinner / have coffee with us and you want to cry because don’t they understand you have words to write!? And so when you cry off that you have to write they stare at you a bit funny, like you just said you want to hurt yourself.

Having writer friends and talking to them online, via email and in real life when you’re in the throes of writing really helps. You can whinge: writing why so hard or: how can I kill this character gruesomely and in a cool way at the same time? Also: it’s a bit competitive sometimes, but the big thing here is to remember that this is YOUR journey and not someone else’s journey.

We all travel at different speeds and wanting someone else’s life because you think you perceive them as being more successful makes you forget how lucky you are in your own life.

(you can read more about some of the awesome friendships Liz has made during her writing career here.)

Rachel: You’re a multi-talented lady and have recently opened up your own Etsy shop! What kind of stuff are you selling?

Liz: Aaah, my new obsession! Yes, I started not just bullet journaling, but also art journaling a while ago because I was creatively blocked.

I really struggled so hard with writing that I turned to art to help me. I bought some paints and stuff and started playing. I had bought a stack of paper ephemera from other Etsy shops and realised I had so many beautiful vintage books of my own, who really need a new lease on life, that I could sell journaling kits myself. So I started doing that.

My little shop is called Emm’s Ephemera.  I’ve graduated to also offering planner stickers, vintage postage stamps and some other goodies as I come across them.

Rachel: Are you reading any good books at the moment?

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Liz: Yes!

I’m reading The Roanoke Girls and it is SO good. I said on twitter that it’s better than Gillian Flynn as the writer doesn’t hate her main character or any of the other women in the book.

I’ve got a few non-fictions lined up too, to read, but I think my next book to read will be Rotherweird by Andrew Caldecott, illustrated by the amazing Sasha Laika.

 

Rachel: If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

Liz: Keep writing and finish what you start. Quitters don’t see their books in shops or online.

Rachel: How do you find the writing process? Do you find it energizing, or exhausting, or both? Do you pace yourself or go ‘full steam ahead’?

[image error]Liz: Definitely both – there’s this high I get from writing, especially when you manage to fall into the zone.

I remember rushing to finish Judged, the last book in The Blackhart Trilogy and it was like two in the morning and I was too wired on the story to actually go to bed. Not ideal, to be honest, when you have to be up at six in the morning to go to work!

I try and pace myself but sometimes story just takes over and you write until you’re sick. Seriously. It’s happened before and it’s really not good! But looking back at it all now it feels a bit odd. Like: I wrote that in such a weird feverdream how is it even real?

Rachel: Do you have an old book idea from years past that you’d like to resurrect one day?

Liz: Oh my gosh yes. There’s this amazing MG I’d love to rewrite – it’s very Indiana Jones by way of Chris Bradford’s Bodyguard series. In fact, this was the first book I’d ever finished and to this day I still have my ‘bible’ and the research that went into it.

Rachel: People define success in so many different ways – what do you feel makes a person successful?

I don’t know. For me success comes from the little things. Being sent fanmail. Or being asked if it’s okay by teens if they wanted to write fanfic about my characters.

I know other people want massive sales and a huge advance but to me it’s knowing that people have read the books and liked them enough to take ownership of those characters I’ve lived with so long.

I love the idea that maybe the trilogy became the gateway drug for a reluctant reader to try other books, more challenging perhaps and that they are reading for pleasure, rather than having teachers stand over them, forcing them to read.

Rachel: What kind of research do you do for your stories, and how long do you spend researching before beginning a book?

[image error]Liz: For the Blackhart books I did a lot of lore research into names especially. Every single person I name in the books has a reason they are named what they are, especially the Fae characters.

I also did a lot of research into fairy / faery lore and superstitions. I also did a lot of research into weaponry (my google history must have alarmed some government agencies I’m sure!) and I had a friend who’s a sword instructor and my husband combat whilst I took notes and choreographed sequences so I could see what would be feasible in real life. I had them try out different weapons too. It was very interesting!

I do a bit of research when I start out. Usually, because I’m a nerd, I tend to know quite a bit of the world / mythology before I start writing because my interests are so wide. But then if I find I need to find out more, I will dig out the tomes and swot up and talk to people who I know who can help. Research never ends, I think, it just becomes yet another obsession to fall into.

Rachel: Do you remember getting your first writing advance? What was it for and what did you spend it on?

Liz: Oh yes! It was for the first book in the trilogy, Banished. I went a bit crazy and bought myself an iPad and a PS4. And so many books. Basically I cleared out my Amazon wishlist to add to my bulging reference shelves. It. Was. Amazing.

Rachel: You’re writing a first draft – is your weapon of choice a pen or the keyboard?

Liz: Planning for me is always by pen. These days I’m all about my Midori Traveler’s Notebook. It’s such a great system as the notebooks can be swapped out for new notebooks once they’re full. So basically, I have a notebook for plot and my characters. I know who they are, what they’re doing at all times. I write down the plot loosely and then I start embroidering and getting more elaborate. I play the what if game, basically.

Then I also have a notebook that contains the notes about the world and this becomes my worldbuilding bible. I write down town names, names of people they meet along the way who get named (that way no one ends up being called the same as someone else). I write down the mythology of the world too, as much as I know it. Anything important about the world lives in this notebook.

The third notebook in my TN is for edits. These I do once the first draft is typed up. I write directly onto the screen, referring to my notes on plot etc. My edits are chapter by chapter and they’re not line edits for grammar or anything like that. They are 100% about plot and character, the big stuff. Sara Grant taught me this: you first edit big, then you edit small.

Rachel: Was there ever a time you felt a bit discouraged by writing? How did you bounce back?

Liz: Quitters don’t see their books for sale.  That’s advice from my friend Zoe Marriott who is a superstar of advice and a powerhouse of skill and story.

We all get discouraged. You sometimes sit on social media and see other writers and it’s like they live this charmed life and you want to cry but you got to focus yourself.

You have to step back and get over dramatic self. No one is going to write the book for you – unless you’re a celebrity, of course – and you have to just get in there, push your hands into the mud and create.

Rachel: On the blog, I like to talk about things writers can do to nurture their wellbeing. What do you enjoy doing to recharge your creative juices?

[image error]Liz: Get out of the house. Oh gods, it’s terrifying, especially if you’re on a deadline but get out of the house.

Go walk in a park or just take time to breathe. Schedule it in, if you have to.

Leave your technology behind and go do other stuff.

For me, right now, it’s playing with inks and stamps in my art journals. My husband recently watched me and said that he likes the way I just ‘go away’ and look happy when I’m crafting.

Other stuff I do to get creative juices flowing: movies! And I read non-fiction. A lot. I’d occasionally pop online and beg people for recs. I’ll read anything basically.

Rachel: Let’s talk telly! Are you watching any good shows at the moment? What would you recommend we check out?

Liz: I’m currently LOVING The Team. It is such an interesting show with a cast from all over Europe. I’m also watching Bordertown on Netflix. I was desperate to love Finn Jones in Iron Fist but found myself being meh about it.

I recently finished the second season of Marco Polo and am sad it’s not being renewed. I’m loving the series Taken on Amazon too – it’s sort of the prequel to the Taken movies starring Liam Neeson and it’s quite good.

And of course, there’s Riverdale on Netflix. I just love this show. It is interesting, diverse and the showrunners are having so much fun with these characters.

Rachel: If you could take any three people to dinner, living or dead, who would you take and why?

Liz: I always say Alexander the Great. I have been obsessed with him for almost all my life. Homer. Just, the Illiad, man. I want to shake him/her and just shout about Achilles, basically. And I’d like to meet Dr. John Dee and ask him about his experiments and why things went so badly wrong.

Rachel: You’re headed to a desert island – what three items do you take and why?

Liz: The Illiad. See above. *sobs over Achilles*

Water purifying tablets – unlimited supply. I don’t mind not having food but I refuse to go without decent water.

My husband, Mark – he’s a good hunter/gatherer and can deal with killing things better than I can.

So as you can see, Liz is a delightful person as well as a fantastic writer! Go check out her books on Amazon, and stop by her Instagram which is just bursting with joy and creativity. Don’t forget to say hello to Liz on Twitter.

Getting feedback on your writing – part two – writing groups

Where to go for writing feedback

So you’ve done what Auntie Rach has told you and you’re now pretty certain that it’s time to get some feedback. Let’s have a look at the different options available:

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Join a writing group – there are so many benefits to doing this, chief among them being that you’ll have someone to share your writing journey with, good and bad.

 

Depending on what’s best for you, you can either search for a local writing group where you meet up in person, or you can search online for one.

I’m a member of one in-person writing group and two online writing groups. All three have been invaluable on my writing journey, if only for the chance to commiserate and have a laugh with someone who gets what you’re going through.

You can find in-person writing groups by:

Enquiring at your local library or bookstore
Putting a notice up for fellow writers in your area on a cafe noticeboard (make sure you meet somewhere public!)
Asking friends if they know anyone who likes to write and wants to form a writing group

You can find other writers online via:

Facebook (writers under 21 can join a lovely writing group called Go Teen Writers)
Twitter by searching hashtags such as #amwriting and #writerslife and following writer events such as #storycrafter and #ontheporch
Absolute Write
Writer’s Cafe
Agent Query Connect
NanoWrimo

Some of the benefits of joining a writing group include:

Honest but positive critique. Writing groups want members to keep coming back, so they’re not likely to jump down your throat and be savage just for the fun of it (and if they do, hightail it out of there, because that shit ain’t cool).

A good writing group is a safe environment with a relaxed atmosphere, but also encourages helpful advice and guidance on how everyone’s writing can get better. If you’re not feeling ready for hard tacks, don’t be afraid to have a word with the group leader. They’ll be used to dealing with writers with varying ‘skin strengths’ and make sure everyone delivers their feedback accordingly.

(be wary when asking members of certain online forums for critique. Most members will give feedback in good spirit, but some salty souls may deal you some over-the-top savagery which can really take the wind out of your sails. Proceed with caution.)

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Inspiration: Writers groups (especially face-to-face ones) usually allow a bit of time for bouncing ideas off one another and floating rough ideas. There are often writing assignments and prompts that can jump-start a new story idea that you may not have otherwise considered.

Learning new techniques: You don’t have to just learn from the feedback you get on your writing. You can also pick up handy pointers from the feedback other writers get.

A chance to get your stuff published (if you feel comfortable): many writing groups will often team up and publish their short stories, poems and essays in the form of anthologies. This is a great way to get stuff that you’re proud of in front of readers, as the other writers in the anthology will be pushing  and promoting it. Also it’s neat as hell to see your stuff in print!

A chance to make some chuffin’ writer friends: Let’s face it, as writers we tend to let our social life fall by the wayside from time to time. Meeting other writers in person is not only a fantastic learning experience, but it’s a chance to make friends with people who can identify with your struggle and will root for you.

I meet up with my Leeds-based writing group every May bank holiday for drinks, rants and general mayhem, and it’s always good fun.

Depression doesn’t take days off, and that’s okay.

Today is my birthday, and it won’t be my happiest one.

Last night I was awake until 1am, crying into the warm shoulder of my best friend and the love of my life. I’d taken that same old bait my intrusive thoughts like to lay for me, and descended down that black hole of despair so many of us are familiar with.

It starts off like a breadcrumb trail, those old tapes on repeat:

failure…delusional…stupid…give up…

failure…delusional…stupid…give up…

failure…delusional…stupid…give up…

If I’m honest, I expected this.

I knew the malignant parts of my subconscious would suit up and come give me a good kicking for daring to think differently. I knew it didn’t want me to deviate from the old patterns of jealousy, self-loathing and inadequacy that have dogged me my whole life.

How can you be happy, when you’ve been rejected so many times?

How can you keep writing, when you don’t even know anyone will read it, or care?

You’ll never be content, don’t you get it? Never.

It’s all or nothing, and you’re getting nothing. Because you deserve nothing.

I know these aren’t my words. They don’t even sound like me. They’re spoken in the low, hateful voices that plagued my childhood. Voices I’ve thankfully put firmly into the past, but still manage to sneak in if I leave the door ajar for too long. They sneak in when I get tired, sick or linger too long in that envious place that waits for me whenever I log onto social media. Subconscious doesn’t care what’s real and what’s for show, only that another opportunity’s been spotted to remind me how ‘pointless’ this all is.

Abusive words from the past have no mute button. The resulting depression isn’t something you can clock in and out of like a shift at a factory. It’s in your head, your skin, your words, your clothes, your vision. It makes everything feel heavier, tighter.

On its worst days, it won’t be contained. On its best days, it tugs the corners of your smile towards the earth, and says “I’m still here, stupid, and when you’re over this delusion that you can be happy, I’ll be waiting, knuckledusters at the ready.”

This last year’s been full of painful acceptances. It’s been a lot of howling noiselessly to the sky that life isn’t fucking fair. Innocent people die. Little sisters get sick. Mediocrity is rewarded. Snacks given by friends do count towards your daily calories.

It’s also been a year of little blessings too, blessings I haven’t always given due attention to.

Fantastic friends.

Opportunities to improve my writing.

Lovely get-togethers.

Living in one of the best cities in the UK (Leeds made the Lonely Planet Top 5, so there!).

Great colleagues who make me smile.

Rewarding work helping people deal with their debt problems.

Exciting comic collaborations.

Belly laughs.

Yummy food.

New places to visit.

Watching my nieces grow into powerful young women.

Watching my sister kick Leukemia’s ass.

Consistent confirmation that not only did I find my soulmate, but he’s very fond of me and isn’t going anywhere (glutton for punishment!). He’s also unbeaten when it comes to getting me fantastic, thoughtful presents, as evidenced by this beautiful canvas of Akko and friends from Little Witch Academia:

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Yes, my black dog didn’t do the decent thing and go nap in the kennel for my birthday this year. It snores in my earshot, and lets out the occasional meaty fart, but its not chewing my leg off today, so that’s something.

Tomorrow I’ll get back to work chasing it into the forest with its tail between its legs.

Today, it’s about beautiful friends, smiles, and memories, the only things that matter.

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Getting feedback on your writing – part one – are you ready?

It’s not always easy to know where to go for feedback. Luckily in the age of the internet, you can barely move for places, groups and communities who would love to read your work.

The tricky part is figuring out what kind of feedback works best for you.

How can feedback benefit my work?

If you want people to love your book, then you must get feedback.

[image error]Sometimes as writers we get so close and personal with our stories, that it’s nigh on impossible to step back and look for flaws.

You absolutely must endure the sting of criticism if you’re going to be a writer. Being slagged off and told you can’t write for toffee is your life now, and will only get worse the more successful you get. Congratulations! *golf clap*

This is where constructive feedback can save you.

Constructive, well-intentioned feedback off someone you trust can protect you against gobshite comments* on Amazon and Goodreads. Those kinda shenanigans can ruin your day if you let ’em.

Let’s spoil Captain Gobshite’s fun by identifying (most of) the things they could gripe about ahead of time.

Are you even ready for feedback?

If your gut answer to this question is ‘no’, then that’s absolutely fine.

[image error]There are few times more precarious in a writer’s life than when they invite someone in from the outside world to read their writing.

Make no mistake, this is sacred ground. Angels fear to tread here, so it’s natural to be cautious of someone dancing all over your story baby with big, shit-covered spiked shoes.

 

I personally feel that you shouldn’t go seeking feedback until you’ve written the second draft of your novel. I don’t think you should even read the first draft until at least a week has passed.

Here’s why:

You’ve just been through literary labour. Now, I’m not a mother (yet) so I’m not about to insult mums everywhere by comparing writing to the Gauntlet of Nope that is childbirth.

[image error]However, you’ve just dragged something kicking and screaming from your brain onto a blank page. That is no small feat, dear ones.

Your brain during the birthing of a novel is entirely different to your brain that’s slipped back into daily life again. This is the brain you want to run your novel by, not the panting, oozing, mumbling-for-sweet-oblivion lump of pink sludge that’s often left in the wake of a first draft.

Your first draft will be a bag of shite. Even Ernest Hemingway said as much, and who the hell’s gonna argue with that fella?

This isn’t a reflection on your ability as a writer, by the way. This is the way it should be. Think of your first draft as the raw primordial soup of your body, unrefined and foul-smelling in parts, but still full of life-building nutrients that will feed your story for many drafts to come (and there will be many).

Because your first draft comes out so messy, so raw, so unpolished, you can often see areas for improvement just fine on your own.

It’s my feeling that you’re still a bit sore from the first draft while you work through your second draft. A tactless comment from an outsider could send you reeling under your bed sheets, howling vows to never write again the whole way.

That’s not to say that you won’t get dickbags giving their useless opinions throughout your career (because you will, and as I mentioned, the volume of dickbaggery will increase along with your readership). You just need to be a bit selective on who you entrust your book baby to.

Come back next week for Part Two: where to go for writing feedback.

*Not everyone who gives a negative review will be a gobshite btw – just the ones that leave such helpful comments as ‘this was shit, die in a fire’. Or the ones that give a one-star review for getting a damaged book. Seriously f*** those idiots. [image error]

 

How to find your own unique writing voice

Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of writers talk about voice.

“Oh, I love this book, it’s so voice-y!”

“The agent rejected my manuscript because they couldn’t connect to the character’s voice”.

“Every character had the same voice. I couldn’t tell them apart.”

So how exactly do you define a story or character’s voice? What do people mean when they say a writer lacks voice or writes in a really voice-y way?

Voice was something I struggled with for a long time (and still do). You can learn good grammar (I’ve yet to), you can get to know genres and querying techniques pretty easily, but voice is something trickier altogether to get to grips with. There’s always a way, however!

So what exactly is a writer’s ‘voice’?

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Some say that a writer’s voice is as unique to them as their fingerprint.

Our perceptions of the world are all unique, so it makes sense that we would relay that perception to the world in our own way.

When I think about writer voice, I see it as:

50% subconscious (the small voice you’ve had since you were a baby that was shaped by your genetics, family, background, status and formulative influences)

and 50% technique that you’ve picked up (and will continue to pick up) from:

Other writers
Feedback from betareaders, mentors and readers
Books you read
TV and movies you watch
Regular journalling
Interactions you have and see in real life

Every writer will gravitate to a certain writing style, and it’s something that develops over time. If you try to rush the process, it’ll show in your work as clumsy prose and imitation of other writers.

The key to finding your unique, flavoursome, gorgeous voice is to listen to and celebrate your own experiences. THAT is what makes your writing unique. THAT is what will make the right readers fall in love with your writing. Everything else such as character development, sentence structure and imagery can be learned along the way.

Find your own voice first

[image error]Opinions differ on what makes a ‘good writer’, but I tend to gravitate to those that write with a certain rawness.

I like to believe that the writer or their protagonist is sitting across the table from me as they relay their story. I’ve invited them over to my house for a cup of tea, and they’re not leaving until they open up and tell me everything (because best hostess ever. see also:not crazy). I like to feel a certain intimacy with the writer and the world and people they’ve created.

Keeping a daily journal is a fantastic way to connect with your own voice. Set an alarm 15 minutes before your current waking up time, and just write whatever pops into your head without judgement. Many successful authors have found their writing voice this way, as well as ideas for novels!

If journalling isn’t your thing, there are some simple writing exercises you can try.

 

 

Jeff Goins is one of my favourite writers. His passion lies in helping other writers earn money through their craft while also enjoying multi-layered, happy lives.

In his 10 Steps to Finding Your Writing Voice blogpost, Jeff recommends that you:

 

Describe yourself in three adjectives (e.g. warm, cheeky, extroverted). The first three words that come to mind are likely to describe your own writing voice.


Ask your friends and family to describe you as a person (and don’t be offended if you don’t like the answer!)


Think about the last five books that you really enjoyed reading. It’s possible that they in some way represent your writing style. Which brings me neatly on to my next point…

Read, read and read some more

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One way to figure out your own voice is to read A LOT of stuff and think about what you connected with the most.

Do you find yourself gravitating towards one writing style over another? Chances are that you’ll find the ‘building blocks’ for your own writing voice in more of that writer’s work. You get to see how their characters interact, what gestures they use alongside their dialogue, and how the pacing moves through a conversation.

“But, Rachel,” I hear you wail. “Isn’t that stealing?”.

No, it’s not. When you read, you’re mentally ingesting the words and feeling out how they ‘sound’ when you speak or think them. You’re probably familiar with the opposite feeling you get when you reading something jarring – that’s because it’s written in a voice that doesn’t resonate with your own.

Just like how a child learns to speak by mimicking the speech of surrounding family members, a writer hones their voice by studying other writers. This process never really ends, by the way, so don’t worry if you’re years (or decades) into your craft and find that your writing style changes and shifts over time. That can often be a good thing!

“Yeah but I don’t have time to read”-

Er, yes you do. Everyone has time to read if they make it a priority. If you want to get serious about this writing lark, you better be making room for reading in your life. It’s just like Stephen King said in his fantastic autobiography/writing how-to book (funnily called ‘On Writing’)

 

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time, or the tools, to write.

Simple as that.”

Listen to real-life conversations

When I was a kid, I would always get into trouble for listening in on conversations between the adults. I liked when I caught two adults having a really heated conversation or gossiping about a neighbour or relative. I would watch their body language, how they would chew over certain words, what their hands did. When one adult spoke, I would watch the other for their reactions. I was a weird kid, if this wasn’t already apparent.

Anyway, my point is, if you want examples of organic conversation that feels believable, nothing can beat real life.

Next time you’re on the bus, in a cafe, doing your shopping, just keep an ear out for the conversations going on all around you. Compare the speed of one person’s dialogue to another. Think about the tone, the inflections, the pauses they take and how the rhythm can often shift and waver depending on what they’re talking about.

If you don’t fancy the idea of gegging in on stranger’s conversations, you can still get the same effect by listening to radio plays, going to the theatre or simply taking a bit more notice to how your friends and family talk to you and one another.

So fret not, my lovely scribes. You will find your own unique, beautiful voice in time, if you haven’t already. I’ll leave you with one of my favourite 80s ballads for now, and wish you endless fortune in your writing journey.

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Competition is bull**** and winning won’t make you happy. Here’s why.

Winning used to mean everything to me.

I was brought up in a household where if I wasn’t the best in my class, I wasn’t anything. I went to school with kids who would literally tear one another’s faces off over a football score.

I live in a country that was so big on ‘winning’ that it enslaved half the world.

The creative industry I work in is reminiscent of Game of Thrones for all the backstabbing, politics, sycophants and uneasy alliances it’s filled with. From all of that I take this very important lesson:

Winning is overrated, and isn’t half as important or beneficial as you think.

Let me tell you, when all I cared about was winning, I was not fun to be around.

All I did was worry about where I ranked next to other people, how every little thing I did would benefit my career, and what people were saying behind my back (even if there was nothing to talk about on account of me being literally the most fucking boring person ever).

I cried a lot, I lashed out a lot and anything that could’ve made me happy – awesome friends, a loving boyfriend, good health, a secure job – paled in comparison to this need to be the best. But here’s the thing:

Competition as you know it is a lie.

It’s a false, ever-hungry god that turns you into a shell of what you could’ve been, what you could’ve had. To me, that’s the height of tragedy. That’s why I’m looking for another way to shape the life I want, and if I can help you do the same? All’s the better.

First, let’s look at why the modern concept of competition is a steaming pile of horseshit…

Common myths about competition
MYTH #1 – It’s about crushing your rivals

Actually, champ, it’s not. ‘Competition’ is derived from the Late Latin word ‘competere’ , which means “to strive in common”. In classical Latin it means “to strive together,”

Are you detecting a theme? That’s right. The emphasis is on cooperation, and working together towards a mutually beneficial goal.

It was only when the French got hold of the word sometime in the 14th Century (compere) that the word took on the spiteful, backstabbing connotation we know and love today. Because that’s what the French do (I’m kidding. But only partially because British).

Here’s the thing about focusing on your rivals and how you’re going to take them down – it never ends. As soon as you surpass one person, another pops up who seems to be doing better than you, and another, and another, and another until you’re so burnt out from focusing on other people’s successes that you have no time or energy for your own.

Is this really how you envisioned your life? Sitting there with those green eyes wheeling to and fro, stomach bloated with bile at all that displeases you? Seething at endless reminders that you’ll never, ever truly be Number One?

And you won’t, by the way. Someone younger, better, hotter, more connected and frankly more talented than you will always show up eventually. When that happens, you better be able to look to the other aspects of your life for purpose, or at least be aware that someone right now is looking at you with exactly that shade of green in their eyes.

What to do: Make peace with where you are, where you’re headed and what you need to do in between these two milestones to make it happen.

MYTH #2 – Kind people finish last

Out of all of the myths out there, this one really grinds my gears.

Sadly, in much of the creative industry, I do see this alarming belief that you have to be an asshole diva to have a successful, meaningful career. You have to throw people shade, form up cliques like a bunch of neurotic highschoolers and have Twitter spats on the daily. You have to undercut people, froth-lipped and laughing all the way, #badbitch.

You can’t be kind, because kind people get used. Kind people are stupid. Kind people look weak. Kind people finish last.

You can’t give people your time, your courtesy, your advice, because fuck other people. Other people are the enemy!!! Death to the other people, especially the ones that fucking terrify me, which is EVERYBODY!!

Now, notice I didn’t say nice people finish last.

Why’s that you ask? Easy. Because anyone can be nice.

Even the most toxic, treacherous, narcissistic, out-for-themselves, bullying pile of rectal ooze can be nice from time to time. Even they tend to know that smiling at the right time and making the right ‘I’m-totally-not-bored-of-your-mouth-words-and-mentally-undoing-your-kneecaps-with-a-corkscrew’ noises every minute or so is worth it.

To put it bluntly, there are a LOT of shitty but successful people who get away with murder because they’ve mastered the smoke-and-mirrors art of niceness (also because they play on people’s fears of being ostracised, but that’s another blogpost).

So what makes a kind person, and why do they end up winning in the end?

Well, a kind person, whether they know it or not, tends to live by the mantra that ‘the rising tide lifts all ships’, which ties in neatly to the original definition of competition I spoke about earlier.

The kind person knows that by supporting their peers, helping them succeed, and putting that urge to be the best at all costs aside, that everybody benefits, including them.

The kind person does the right thing whether the world is watching or not. The kind person makes anonymous donations to charities, hands in a mobile phone they found in the Burger King toilets and reports the racist dickhead on the train but doesn’t instantly rush to social media and tell the world about it.

The kind person genuinely celebrates the successes of others and knows that expressing love and encouragement to those around them will always come back, one way or another. The kind person knows that winning is just a small, small fraction of a worthwhile life.

Does the kind person get jealous? Sad? Angry? Feel inadequate? You darn tootin’ they do. They’re still flawed, enjoys-a-good-shit-on-a-Sunday-morning humans, after all. What they don’t do is let all that crap govern their lives, and if they mess up, they put things right.

Basically, the kind person wins in the end because assholes can’t help but drain every drop of goodness out of their life. Eventually they’re left all alone, without a true friend in the world and rightly so. No amount of Twitter followers can defeat karma, matey.

Meanwhile, the kind person, who’s enjoyed a life of meaningful friendships, warmth, honest connections over beers and campfires, selfless love, good deeds, making people happy, being a devoted parent, watching people flourish and feeling ecstatic to know they were part of it, finds themselves paid back tenfold with love, solid friendships, joy, happy memories, a solid support network, and a life they can be proud of.

How do I know? Because I’ve seen it happen time and time again.

MYTH #3 – If I just destroy anyone who stands in my way, I’ll finally be happy

If you’ve just nodded your head while reading that sentence, with no sense of fucking irony, I….well, I don’t even know what to say to you. I think you may actually be one of the saddest people on this planet, and I honestly don’t mean that as an insult. I mean that as a wake-up call that you need help fast, my friend.

I know people who reached the top of their game sometime in their 20s or 30s, often with a whole festering pile of bodies and hearts behind them. All they were about was winning, being the best, and destroying anyone who dared to aspire to those lofty heights. They sneered, insulted, bullied and smear campaigned their way through life, all the while their face and words growing meaner and meaner.

Fast forward a decade or two, and what do you think those people have now?

Acclaim? Sure.

Fans? Probably.

Money? A fair whack, yes.

They also have a legion of enemies that laugh at their every stumble, simpering yes-men, people who will never fucking work with them again on account of them being a nightmare, constant fear of being abandoned, broken relationships, health problems, a constant gnawing anxiety in their gut, a pitiful need for attention and a future plagued with loneliness, pathetic reminiscing of good old days and a neglected family who secretly hate them and can’t wait to shove them in the first, barely functioning nursing home they see.

This doesn’t have to be your future. There is a different way, a better way, and the only way you can truly become the best version of yourself…

Make yourself your own competition

Now, I know this is the territory of cheesy fitness accounts on Instagram, but hear me out:

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Truly brilliant people know this.

Truly brilliant, talented, successful, happy people who feel that sense of pride we all long for will push all this petty competition bullshit aside and live by this mantra.

How do you live by it, you ask? Well, you’ll always find the answer when you look at the person you were yesterday and how you could’ve done things better. As for the person you striving to become, why not the person you want to be in ten years’ time?

There’s a famous anecdote from Matthew McConaughey when he won the Oscar for Best Actor a couple of years ago. It’s a sweet story and when I read it, everything began to make sense to me:

[image error]“I had a very important person in my life come to me and say ‘who’s your hero?’ And I said, ‘I don’t know, I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.’

I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says ‘who’s your hero?’ I said, ‘I thought about it. You know who it is? It’s me in 10 years.’ So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, ‘So, are you a hero?’ And I was like, ‘not even close. No, no, no.’ She said, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘Because my hero’s me at 35.’

So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

So how do you make a hero out of your future self? It’s easy:

Write down everything you want your future self to have. Here are some examples based on my own ‘future me list’

I want to have written an entire book series
I want to have a successful blog
I want to drink two litres of water a day
I want to be a loving, caring partner
I want to be really organised

Notice that none of these goals come at the detriment of someone else (e.g. I want to be more famous than ____________) There are two reasons for that:

It takes your power away: Going back to the competition myths, if you’re fixated on someone else’s trajectory, you’re not working on your own.

You can’t control what other people do. Ever: You might be head over heels in love with someone right now, and you (bless your heart) may write a goal like ‘I’m going to look so hot and be so successful that Hotty McHotface is definitely going to love me.

What if Hotty McHotface marries someone else?
What if Hotty McHotface dies?
What if Hotty McHotface joins a monastery or convent or finds a deeper meaning to life through relief work and doesn’t have time for your on-point selfies (#blessed)?
What if Hotty McHotface (gasp) did what your dumb ass should’ve been doing all along and made themselves their own competition?

How do I know that I’ll actually improve in 10 years?

Easy – go read your Facebook posts from 10 years ago. If they made you cringe all the way into your small intestine, then you’ve improved, so stop whinging and GET TO WORK.

Homework:

Go away and come up with three of your future self goals: Take each goal and think about what you could do each year, each six months, each quarter, each month, each week, each day to improve. Example:

10 year goal: I want to be a published author (don’t get caught up on self/trad pub at this stage, just focus on having your work out there one way or another)

1 year goal: I want to have a complete, competent manuscript I can show to beta readers without wanting to skin myself alive

Six month goal: I want to have written the first draft of a novel

Quarterly goal: I want to be over halfway through the first draft of a novel

Monthly goal: I’ve figured out the premise/hook/stake of my book and I want to have written 30,000 words of the first draft of my novel

And so on and so on.

Decide on the daily task (in this case, ‘I write 1,000 words a day) and track your progress.


Don’t worry if you slip up. Remember, you’re not doing this to impress anyone else but yourself.


Reward yourself for small victories: Did you smash that wordcount? I think that deserves a few episodes of your favourite show. Did you bite the bullet and send your manuscript to betareaders? Go get yourself a pedicure, eat a good burger, or go play with your friend’s puppy (because you have friends on account of NOT BEING A MASSIVE T***. See how this works?)[image error]

sparkitors:Terrified about your first day of school? BECALM...

sparkitors:

Terrified about your first day of school? BECALM YOURSELF, SIR. 

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