Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff's Blog, page 24

For Halloween: Shadow Falls – The Original Audiodrama

For every light that shines… a SHADOW FALLS…

Happy Halloween. I thought in honor of All Hallow's Eve Weekend, I'd dig up the original 6 episodes of the Shadow Falls audiodrama. Meet for the first time, the mysterious Galen Altos, who knows not where he is or why he is there… and visit the town that holds a darkness far beyond his control.

Boo!

SHADOW FALLS – Episode One – Click here to listen

SHADOW FALLS – Episode Two – Click here to listen

SHADOW FALLS – Episode Three – Click here to listen

SHADOW FALLS – Episode Four – Click here to listen

SHADOW FALLS – Episode Five – Click here to listen

SHADOW FALLS – Episode Six – Click here to listen

And of course you can discover more about poor lost Galen Altos and the meanings behind his nightmares in Shadow Falls: Badlands and Shadow Falls: Angel of Death.

  

Self Publishing Diary: Three Different Books on Bestseller Lists

I have often told people that I think of publishing an eBook as planting a seed. One that can grow into something and keep growing for the months and years to come. In July, I noticed that I had two books on bestseller lists at the same time. Last night, I noticed that three very different books of mine were all on Kindle bestseller lists.

Go Forth and Kick Some Ass is again on the Kindle bestseller list for CREATIVITY! Yes! It's been slowly picking up steam again. I'm thrilled about this because even though some may think it's a bit cocky for me to write a "self help" book, this was a product of several sermons I gave as the "Rev. MYN" (Yes, I actually am an ordained minister believe it or not). I'd rather think of it as a book on how to channel your best work no matter what you do. I've often had people asking me about how to get motivated creatively, so I decided to put it all in an easy-to-digest ebook. I'm working on a follow-up to "Go Forth" which will be made up of those original Rev. MYN sermons. Look for it soon.



The Killing of Osama Bin Laden continues to sell regularly. It's been at the top or near top of the TERRORISM list since it's release in May. It's a short book and a very concise telling of how we got Bin Laden. Part detective story, part tech thriller and part Bruckheimer action blowout. I'm proud to say that this was the VERY FIRST book on Bin Laden's death published anywhere in the world and has sold many, many thousands of copies across the globe. Though the popularity of the topic has waned a bit, it was such a major historic event that I feel it will continue to sell copies every day for a very long time… and no, at this time I have no plans on writing a book about how Ghadaffi was killed… but only because I don't think the last chapter of that story has been told yet.

For me, publishing is a long tail business and Where's My F*cking Latte taught me that firsthand. This is a book that first came out in paperback in 2007, then for the Kindle in 2008 and then by 2009, started inching up the Kindle bestseller list for TELEVISION. For the most part it has sat at #1 on that list for the last 3 months. Just lately, it's crawled up to the top of the MOVIES bestseller list as well. I'm happy to say that, at least for the moment, it's #1 on both lists. I'm even outselling Roger Ebert's book!  Not bad for an indie.

In actuality, Where's My F*cking Latte is on 3 different Amazon bestseller lists: Kindle bestsellers for Movies and Television and Amazon's overall bestseller list for all books (ebooks and print) for Television (currently #6)

The Killing of Osama Bin Laden is also on 3 different Amazon bestseller lists: Kindle books for Terrorism, Middle East and also for all books on Afghanistan (Yes, there's a list for that! LOL)

So that's SEVEN, count 'em 7, bestseller lists that these three books currently sit on. Books that I don't really actively promote much, if at all. Am I stoked? Hell yes!

Bottom line. eBooks are seeds that, once planted, can grow into mighty oaks. It may take weeks, months or even years… but once that book is out there, it can continue to pick up an audience for a very long time.

 

Outselling Roger Ebert on the Bestseller List

[image error]

A screenshot from Amazon's bestseller list for Kindle books in the category of Entertainment/Movies.  As you can see, Where's My F*cking Latte is currently outselling "Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2011″. Ebert's hugely famous. I'm nobody. Both of our books are the same price. As a huge, lifelong Ebert fan, I'm a bit floored and humbled… Tomorrow, maybe he'll outsell me… maybe. All I gotta say is that "It's on, Ebert!"

Actually, there's some more "bestseller" news I want to share, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

 

PCH: Music Today is Disposable

Seriously, today's music is sold with an expiration date, I swear. Mark and Mike take on this lofty topic about how music has morphed from an artform into a commodity that lasts as long as a carton of milk.

Plus, some moderately offensive bits and yes, a few emails, including a discussion on exotic animals as pets in Ohio.

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO PCH  or SUBSCRIBE TO PCH IN iTUNES 

TRANSISTOR RODEO is out in Paperback! For a limited time, order a signed copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO and get a signed copy of NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET for FREE!

  

Rant: Competitive Eating

Welcome to America… well, maybe we're no longer the once all-powerful world leader in everything as it was when I was a kid. Maybe our cars come from Germany or Asia, or if you're talking about autos built here in the U.S. of A, most of the parts they're assembled from are actually made overseas. Maybe, three quarters of everything we buy these days is made in China by convict laborers slaving away in deplorable factory sweatshops to make my cheap tube socks. But I contend there are still two things we invented in this country that no other nation can come close to touching.

Jazz. A purely American style of music that is more out of touch with America's youth than the idea of pulling your pants up so I don't have to see your fucking underwear. You know what I like to do? I like to sneak up behind them wearing a hocky mask and waving a machete to make them run. It's fun to watch stupid teenagers fall on their faces. Maybe, it's just me.

But I digress…

The second thing that I believe is so American that it is basically a thumbnail sketch of portraying what this country is all about—I'm of course talking about… competitive eating.

Do they have competitive eating in other countries? What about in China? Maybe they just open up the doors of their local animal shelters and call it a buffet. All you can eat. Dim sum fucking poodle, motherfucker! I'm just kidding… about the part that China has animal shelters.

You would think our love of competitive eating would be used by the terrorists to make other countries hate us? I heard that Al Qeada tried to rile up the locals with anti-American sentiment by broadcasting the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest to the far reaches of Ethiopia. You know what? It actually inspired the Ethiopian people to create eating contests of their own. It kind of has its own local slant. The winner is the one who eats first. I believe the current record is three days.

Look, not to make fun of starvation… unless of course you're talking about undernourished supermodels, for whom a meal is a handful of cotton balls dipped in lemon juice, now that's fucking funny. But the fact is, and without going all Seabuscuit atop my high horse, there are still countries in this world where people are starving to death. Of course, nobody likes to think of such sad things. That's why mindless diversions and distractions were invented. Oh say, like, competitive eating. You don't have to think about competitive eating. It's eating. It's about as primal an instinct as humans have next to fucking and defecating. Hell, I've known people who are so in tuned with their primal self, they like to do all three at the same time!

Let me tell you It's not a pretty sight… and you can tell who those people are because they tend to go through a lot of bathmats.

Competitive eating "car wreck" entertainment. You can't help but look away from a competitive eating contest any more than you can look away from two midgets fucking.

But what I love is the pure chutzpah that surrounds competitive eating. Did you know that it now calls itself a sport? I'm not kidding. It even has a governing body that calls itself Major League Eating. I'm sorry, you can't call it a sport. Sport participants are otherwise known as athletes. Competitive eaters are athletes in the same way that rappers are musicians.

You ever see this guy Joey Chestnutt swallow sixty hot dogs with no gag reflex? Damn, I bet if you moved the competition from Coney Island to Fire Island you'd quadruple your event attendance. For fuck's sake. That's so many nitrates that if you die of a heart attack they won't have to embalm you, you'll already be preserved from the inside.

But if you think that's messed up, just consider for a brief moment, some other eating records I culled from the pages of the Major League Eating website.

7 quarter pound sticks of butter in 5 minutes… that's the record held by some guy named Don Lerman. Seven sticks of butter? First prize should be a Pulp Fiction heart syringe full of Draino right to your Aortic Ventricle. Turns out the same guy who owns the butter eating record also holds the record for eating 6 pounds of baked beans… Who was the sponsor of that? Haines?.. winner get a new pair of underwear. I actually heard the guy won a trip to Hawaii. Airfare wasn't included. He just blew himself all the way over.

How about this one? 9 and a quarter pounds of asparagus. That was in April. I can still smell the guy's pee from here.

But this one takes the cake… 3 and 3/4 pounds of Rocky Mountain Oysters… Holy shit, dude… that's the most balls in one guy's mouth since the the last time the Village People played Elton John's birthday party.

Look, eating isn't a sport. It's a fucking art.

Personally, if we're going to judge people on eating, how about one where you get points for style. Now, I'm not talking about lifting your pinky in the air or any of that hoity-toity "putting on airs for the queen" bullshit. You should get graded by how you look doing it, like surfing or freestyle skiing. But who am I kidding. The closest thing competitive eating will ever come to art is when some dude Jackson Pollacks the floor after nine buckets of chili cheese fries.

Hey man, there is serious money in competitive eating. What I especially love. You know who is Major League Eating's biggest sponsor?

Peptol Bismol.

No, I am not pulling your schwantz. Pepto. That pink shit you drink when your stomach is all fucked up. Isn't that just beautiful.

Peptol Bismol sponsoring Major League Eating is like Budweiser sponsoring the TV show about Interventions.

Oh, I kid, but people LOVE this type of entertainment. Every year, come the Fourth of July, I already know that at noon Eastern I'm going to be in front of a TV set watching that Nathan's hot dog eating contest, wondering why the fuck I keep doing it while at the same time not being able to pry myself away. Watching the Victoria Secret fashion show makes me want to jack off… Watching Joey Chestnutt eat 60 Nathan's Hot dogs still makes me want to jack off but I put mustard on it first.

Given this country's obsession with food and food over consumption, I predict that in 50 years competitive eating will surpass baseball as America's favorite pastime… The hall of fame will be a drive thru. Of course competitive eating will have its Babe Ruth, who may actually get his reputation from actually eating Baby Ruth bars… or perhaps instead competitive eating will have it's own Billy Jean King who will have an endless appetite for bearded clam. Personally, I can't wait for competitive eating's Jackie Robinson… I bet guy who breaks the color barrier won't be black or brown. He'll be a nice shade of purple from the 18 chicken wings he's fucking choking on.

*****

This rant was originally performed in the episode of PACIFIC COAST HELLWAY entitled "Americans Sure Love to Eat"

Raf Shows Off His New Copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO

[image error]

Raf, who has been a big supporter of my work for years posted this photo on Facebook right afte he received his brand new copy of  Transistor Rodeo in paperback. I had to snag it because it really, really made my day. How awesome is this?

Thanks Raf! You totally rock, buddy!

TheBookDesigner.com Likes Angel of Death

You know, I'm getting more serious about offering to hire myself out to design ebook covers for other people. Super pro Joel Friedlander from TheBookDesigner.com had this to say about the artwork I created for SHADOW FALLS: ANGEL OF DEATH:

"…he has quite a knack at graphic design…"

Hey, that's enough for me!

I submitted it for his monthly ebook cover design awards for Sept 2011. Winners get announced tomorrow. Wish me luck!

PCH: Riot Season

Get yer pitchforks and torches, bitches! It's riot season here in the U.S. of A. Finally, Americans getting off their fat, lazy asses and standing up against the total ass reaming the middle class has taken by a government that wants to see the middle class eliminated…. or something like that. Damn, it's exciting to see American's own version of Arab Spring… Hey, stick it to them, Occupiers. I believe in capitol punishment, meaning I believe everybody in the Capitol should be punished.

Okay, now that's off my chest. It's time to rock some PCH. Mike and I decide to take on this lofty topic with our usual cynical indifference and then we get a visit from Doofy, who may or may not be fixing a roof and then I go apeshit about something that drives me nuts: anonymous internet commenting.

It's all right here… if you can handle it. It's NSFW, as if you didn't know that already.

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO PCH  or

SUBSCRIBE TO PCH IN iTUNES 

TRANSISTOR RODEO is out in Paperback! For a limited time, order a signed copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO and get a signed copy of NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET for FREE!

 

LIKE the MYN Books Facebook page - When it hits 1,000 Likes, one lucky follower will win a brand new Kindle or Nook

Visit Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff's blog at Wordsushi.com

Listen to Mike Yusi's kickass music podcast: UC Radio… 

And don't forget to VOTE FOR UC RADIO every day over at PodcastAwards.com

MUSIC IN THIS EPISODE:

"Asshole" by JIM'S BIG EGO

"Ready or Not" by MIKE ERRICO

Buy a Signed Copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO and I'll Throw In a Signed NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET for Free

I'm so stoked by the response so far for signed paperback copies of TRANSISTOR RODEO, but I hate the fact that the USPS makes me charge so much for shipping, especially outside the U.S. So, I decided to sweeten the pot. Order at least one signed copy and I'll throw in one signed copy of NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET with each order.

The only way you can order a signed copy is to SIGN UP FOR THE MYN MAILING LIST. I promise I won't spam the hell out of you, I just want to let you know about book releases and stuff and special "friends only" offers like this one. Once you sign up, you'll get access to the ordering page AND you'll get an email with the same ordering links.

Plus, order now and I'll even throw in a set of steak knives slash a buck off the retail price of $9.99 for the trade paperback version of TRANSISTOR RODEO. So, for just $8.99 (plus postage) you get signed copies of TRANSISTOR RODEO and NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET.

C'mon… how cool is that?

[image error]

Wanna get $2 off a paperback copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO?

Just join the MYN MAILING LIST and you'll automatically get an email with a discount code to save $2 on every copy of TRANSISTOR RODEO you buy from my Amazon/CreateSpace eStore. 

Also, the only way to order SIGNED COPIES of TRANSISTOR RODEO is to join my mailing list… so please, hit this link and sign up.

It'll be on Amazon's site in a few days and of course you can order it without the discount code and pay the full $9.99 retail price at my Amazon/Createspace eStore link: https://www.createspace.com/3700954