Debbie Ihler Rasmussen's Blog
October 27, 2020
They Didn't Know His Name
My neighbor died by suicide last week – besides the fact that it is so sad when anyone dies, let alone by suicide – the way it hit me was – well different than thought I expected.
Caden and Julie, not their real names, have been my back-door neighbors for nine years, and we go to the same church. They are both barely over 30, have no children, and kind of keep to themselves. But if you choose to interact with them, they are always friendly and would do anything for anyone. There were never any signs of depression of any kind, at least to the outside observer.
They are practically young enough to be my grandkids so socially there would not be much connection anyway, but we talked over the fence, chatted at church, you know, the “neighborly” sort of stuff.
Now left behind, Julie will try to pick up the pieces and move on. She has lots of family and lots of support, but still, at the end of the day, she will need to work through all of it – alone. That’s just the way it is with tragedy or upset or change – or all of it at once. But we will be there for her when she needs us, that is just what we do.
So. what impact did Caden’s passing have on me?
I spoke to a couple of their neighbors – both of which I have seen talking to them and do know that have had casual interaction with both Caden and Julie. But when I spoke to each of them, this is what they said:
One neighbor said, “I am so embarrassed to say that I don’t even know his name! How can that be? I have talked to him many times. To us, he is the happy guy next door.”
Caden’s nephew rents a room from he and Julie, and this is what the other neighbor said, when I relayed the information to him, “I am embarrassed to even ask this, but was Caden the husband or the nephew?”
Both neighbors are wonderful people – both have talked to Caden and Julie many times, but nether knew his name. I am not judging at all. Not even for a second.
I do not know all of my neighbors names. ☹
So, I asked a few friends, and the response was pretty much the same – they know one or two, but not all.
When I was a kid, we knew all of our neighbors – on nearly every block for several blocks around us. The same when I was raising my kids. So, I wonder what happened. When did we become such a non-interactive society? I suspect the internet has something to do with it. Maybe we don’t need our neighbors, since we have friends in other cities, other states, other countries – that we NEVER see! In person!
I don’t know, and I don’t know the solution. What I do know is that for me, it made me sad and conjured up sincere guilt about my lack of reaching out to the very people I share a street with.
I am simply suggesting that maybe we might want to get to know our neighbors names, that’s all.
I hope everyone is doing well as we welcome the holiday season. Even as we do, there is uncertainty, so I hope we can concentrate on what we can do to make the rest of 2020 the best two months of the year!
Let’s out smart 2020 – not let it win!
Have the best day ever! Thanks for reading and I will see you next time!
Love,
Debbie
Caden and Julie, not their real names, have been my back-door neighbors for nine years, and we go to the same church. They are both barely over 30, have no children, and kind of keep to themselves. But if you choose to interact with them, they are always friendly and would do anything for anyone. There were never any signs of depression of any kind, at least to the outside observer.
They are practically young enough to be my grandkids so socially there would not be much connection anyway, but we talked over the fence, chatted at church, you know, the “neighborly” sort of stuff.
Now left behind, Julie will try to pick up the pieces and move on. She has lots of family and lots of support, but still, at the end of the day, she will need to work through all of it – alone. That’s just the way it is with tragedy or upset or change – or all of it at once. But we will be there for her when she needs us, that is just what we do.
So. what impact did Caden’s passing have on me?
I spoke to a couple of their neighbors – both of which I have seen talking to them and do know that have had casual interaction with both Caden and Julie. But when I spoke to each of them, this is what they said:
One neighbor said, “I am so embarrassed to say that I don’t even know his name! How can that be? I have talked to him many times. To us, he is the happy guy next door.”
Caden’s nephew rents a room from he and Julie, and this is what the other neighbor said, when I relayed the information to him, “I am embarrassed to even ask this, but was Caden the husband or the nephew?”
Both neighbors are wonderful people – both have talked to Caden and Julie many times, but nether knew his name. I am not judging at all. Not even for a second.
I do not know all of my neighbors names. ☹
So, I asked a few friends, and the response was pretty much the same – they know one or two, but not all.
When I was a kid, we knew all of our neighbors – on nearly every block for several blocks around us. The same when I was raising my kids. So, I wonder what happened. When did we become such a non-interactive society? I suspect the internet has something to do with it. Maybe we don’t need our neighbors, since we have friends in other cities, other states, other countries – that we NEVER see! In person!
I don’t know, and I don’t know the solution. What I do know is that for me, it made me sad and conjured up sincere guilt about my lack of reaching out to the very people I share a street with.
I am simply suggesting that maybe we might want to get to know our neighbors names, that’s all.
I hope everyone is doing well as we welcome the holiday season. Even as we do, there is uncertainty, so I hope we can concentrate on what we can do to make the rest of 2020 the best two months of the year!
Let’s out smart 2020 – not let it win!
Have the best day ever! Thanks for reading and I will see you next time!
Love,
Debbie
October 2, 2020
I Am Not New - But I Am New!
Good Morning!
I am not new to Goodreads, but I am new to using Goodreads. If that makes sense.
In 2014 when I published my first book, I jumped on Goodreads but I had no clue what to do with it. Now in 2020, I am new, but I am not new. There, now we are all confused.
All of that is to say this - I am doing my first Giveaway! Yay!
Five signed copies of Mystic Angel or any other of the Mystic Trilogy books. Or if you have read those (thank you!) you may opt to have one of my upcoming new releases:
Best Friends Don't Leave - the backstory of main character Aspen Allen (from Mystic Trilogy) and her San Clemente best friend, Krista. (Release date October 30)
Talivia - Shule is book one in this new paranormal mystery/adventure series. Talivia is a fictitious island in the Pacific Ocean that has more secrets than any of the characters ever imagined- or wanted. (Release date November 30)
Nessumsar Family - Legend of the Crow. The first book in my super hero fantasy series. Super heroes with paranormal counterparts. (Projected release date December 15. May end up being the 30th)
You should enter! Just sayin!
Have a fantastic October :-)
Debbie
I am not new to Goodreads, but I am new to using Goodreads. If that makes sense.
In 2014 when I published my first book, I jumped on Goodreads but I had no clue what to do with it. Now in 2020, I am new, but I am not new. There, now we are all confused.
All of that is to say this - I am doing my first Giveaway! Yay!
Five signed copies of Mystic Angel or any other of the Mystic Trilogy books. Or if you have read those (thank you!) you may opt to have one of my upcoming new releases:
Best Friends Don't Leave - the backstory of main character Aspen Allen (from Mystic Trilogy) and her San Clemente best friend, Krista. (Release date October 30)
Talivia - Shule is book one in this new paranormal mystery/adventure series. Talivia is a fictitious island in the Pacific Ocean that has more secrets than any of the characters ever imagined- or wanted. (Release date November 30)
Nessumsar Family - Legend of the Crow. The first book in my super hero fantasy series. Super heroes with paranormal counterparts. (Projected release date December 15. May end up being the 30th)
You should enter! Just sayin!
Have a fantastic October :-)
Debbie
September 18, 2020
Hi! My Update of Six Years!
Six years to update??? Seriously - who does that?
Apparently...me.
So it is time to write my blog - I guess I just never thought I had anything to say. Now I decided I do! Haha - maybe you will agree or maybe you won't; it's okay either way.
I published Mystic Angel in 2014 and that is the same time I joined Goodreads - but then - I did - zip! On Goodreads I mean! I have done plenty in the last six years!
But for now - what about books? After Mystic Angel - in 2016 I published Mystic Lake. Then it took me three years to finish the third book, Mystic Mansion. I am NOT letting that happen again. Way too long between books and some very impatient readers! That's a good thing - that they are impatient - not that I kept them waiting. I have very loyal readers...Thank you!
I relaunched Mystic Angel and Mystic Lake in 2019 with new covers and a new design - they totally took off! I finished Mystic Mansion in Dec of 2019 and released it, so the entire Mystic Trilogy is out.
So far, I have wonderful feedback and support from my readers - and they are anxiously waiting for another book, - its just around the corner.
More on that next time!!
Apparently...me.
So it is time to write my blog - I guess I just never thought I had anything to say. Now I decided I do! Haha - maybe you will agree or maybe you won't; it's okay either way.
I published Mystic Angel in 2014 and that is the same time I joined Goodreads - but then - I did - zip! On Goodreads I mean! I have done plenty in the last six years!
But for now - what about books? After Mystic Angel - in 2016 I published Mystic Lake. Then it took me three years to finish the third book, Mystic Mansion. I am NOT letting that happen again. Way too long between books and some very impatient readers! That's a good thing - that they are impatient - not that I kept them waiting. I have very loyal readers...Thank you!
I relaunched Mystic Angel and Mystic Lake in 2019 with new covers and a new design - they totally took off! I finished Mystic Mansion in Dec of 2019 and released it, so the entire Mystic Trilogy is out.
So far, I have wonderful feedback and support from my readers - and they are anxiously waiting for another book, - its just around the corner.
More on that next time!!
