AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 47

A lesson in staying grounded and anchored from the Super Star himself

The more successful we become, the more accepting, grounded and anchored we must learn to be. 
Today the much loved Super Star Rajnikanth turns 64. As his new film Lingaa releases, fans are whipping up a new frenzy all over. Honestly, I am not a great fan of Rajnikanth’s acting. But I adore him as a human being. In fact, I have learnt a lot from him – most of all from his legendary humility. The only time I met him was 24 years ago, when he was 40 and I was 23. I was then working with India Today magazine. I was doing a feature story on the spate of religious films that were coming out at that time. Rajni’s Sri Raghvendra (SP. Muthuraman) had released in 1985. It was Rajni’s 100th film. But it tanked at the Box Office. I was asked by his assistant to meet Rajni at Vijaya studios in Chennai where he was shooting. When I reach the shooting floor, Rajni pulled a chair for me to sit, lit himself a cigarette and in the most child-like, curious, manner asked me to what the meeting was all about. I gave him the background to my story and asked him two questions at the same time. “Why did he do a religious film like Sri Raghavendra when he has an image of an action hero?” and “What was his reaction to the film flopping at the Box Office?” His response was spontaneous. He did not even think. He simply said, “Sri Raghavendra is not a religious film. It is about a man and his ‘awakening’. You are too young to understand the meaning of the word ‘awakening’. As for the film’s run at the Box Office, perhaps the audience too does not understand what ‘awakening’ means.” He then laughed heartily at his own answer for a couple of minutes, stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray next to him, got up, shook hands with me and walked on to the floor for his next shot. His assistant told me that the meeting was “over” and that while I could stay on and watch the shooting if I wanted, I wasn’t going to be allowed to meet Rajni again on this subject. I remember coming back with mixed emotions. On one side I liked the man and his down-to-earthiness. On the other hand, I simply could not comprehend his answer. I concluded then that he was eccentric. Years later when I reflected on that meeting, I understood, thanks to my evolution, that he was laughing at my inability, as well as his audience’s, to comprehend what an ‘awakening’ really is!
Cover Picture Courtesy: InternetIn her book on Rajnikanth, ‘The Name Is Rajnikanth’, (Om Books International, 2008), Gayathri Sreekanth, talks of the one time in 1995 when then Prime Minister P V Narasimha Rao calls up Rajnikanth over phone. Rao invites him to contest the upcoming elections, allying with the Congress, and offers him the Chief Ministership of Tamil Nadu. At that time, media reports and pre-election polls had predicted that any party that aligned with Rajnikanth would win a handsome majority in the State. Sreekanth talks of Rajni meditating in his prayer room at home in Poes Garden, in front of a picture of his favorite Saint Raghavendra, on the Prime Minister’s offer and on his then-almost-certain entry into politics. His prayer, says Sreekanth, leads him to realize that he should not succumb to temptation. She writes of how Rajni reflects on the following questions: “Who am I? Who am I talking to? What the hell is my background and what have I become?...Maybe He (Raghavendra) is the supreme director, the whole event (of the political offer) unfurls in front of Him. I am sure it is He who is directing the whole episode, and I am a mere puppet. I am asked to act in the drama of Life and I will do it….There must be something in me that people like me so much. Why else will they shower so much of love on me? … I must do something for these people. They trust me with their lives. I must never let them down.” As I write this Blog, speculation is rife that this time the Bharatiya Janata Party is making overtures to Rajni, in the aftermath of the Bangalore Special Court’s verdict against Jayalalithaa in the Disproportionate Assets Case, inviting him to support them in the upcoming 2016 Assembly elections. I am not sure what Rajni will do. While I believe he will still stay away from politics, I also know that his decision will be based on his thinking that he’s a ‘nobody’ that people have made a ‘somebody’ and that he should never ‘let down those people’.
This is one lesson from the Super Star that I will always hold close to my heart: Which is to stay humble, stay grounded and stay anchored. And to know that I am a mere puppet in the beautiful, inscrutable Cosmic Design. That I have to act in the drama of Life and I must do it – peacefully and happily!

What goes around comes around

Whatever you do, you will reap the benefits or consequences of your actions in this lifetime itself.
This morning I got news that my father’s younger brother’s wife had passed away. I have an un-ignorable, unforgettable connection with this family. Years ago, my uncle, it was alleged, had forged my father’s signature to seek a loan, by pledging the family property, from a bank to grow his business. His business moves didn’t yield expected results and he could not redeem the property from the bank. When my parents got to know of this, they sought to take swift and determined action to stake their claim for their share of this pledged property. I was just 20 then, and was a cub reporter with The Indian Express. My mother insisted that we file a police complaint for cheating against my uncle. As a journalist, I had built strong contacts within the police force. So, I ensured that my father’s complaint against his brother was taken up directly by the then Commissioner of Police, Chennai. My uncle was immediately arrested for forgery and cheating. Obviously, when my aunt came to know of this development, she was distraught. She pleaded with me and my parents not to take such precipitate action and offered to resolve this issue soon. But my mother would not agree to this even though my father and I were willing to withdraw the complaint. My aunt locked herself up in her home and threatened to commit suicide. I remember that night vividly – it was pouring in Chennai; my father and I pleaded with my aunt to show restraint and went to the Police Commissioner’s home on my scooter, and sought his permission to allow us to withdraw the complaint. The Commissioner was very upset with our inconsistent stand on the complaint but finally relented. And just as my uncle was being taken to jail in police custody, we managed to secure his release. The property issue was resolved by my uncle in due course. But this episode, naturally, split my uncle’s family from mine – forever. It is possible that my aunt and uncle never forgave me for my role in this sordid family drama – for, without my influence with the police, my uncle may never have been arrested – even if it was, effectively, only on paper.
Years later, in the context of my Firm’s bankruptcy and my personal insolvency, when I had to be in a police station owing to a complaint filed by a friend over my inability to return the money I had borrowed from him, this incident of my uncle and aunt came to haunt me. I have recounted the episode of me being picked up by the cops, late in the night, in my Book – “ Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content while living without money ” (Westland, August 2014). But I haven’t shared my perspective on “What goes around comes around” in this context until today. When I got the news that my aunt had passed away, I sent her a silent prayer. And sought her forgiveness one more time. Sitting in the police station and thinking of the consequences of my friend’s complaint against me that night in 2009, and again on subsequent occasions when I was summoned to the police station, I have always thought of this truth – that you reap what you sow. All your actions have to be accounted for in this lifetime itself. Some say that karma works. Others believe in the concept of heaven and hell. I have understood from my experiences that you have to face the outcome or consequences of your actions – right here, in this lifetime. Period. The good that you do comes back to you. And the harm that you cause – wittingly or unwittingly – to anyone, to even nature, comes back to teach you lessons that you have to learn.
My own learning is simple. Let us not judge people. If we can, let’s please avoid hurting anyone. Even if someone harms you, cheats you, just let go. Whether you accept it or not, whether you believe in it or not, there is cosmic retribution – and it works! But if you must act on a situation, follow the due process of law – let it take over. I don’t say all this from the point of view of avoiding fearful consequences. Consequences are consequences – and every action will have one! Fear is an emotion that we bring to a situation. I am saying this from the point of view being able to deal with Life a lot more simply. People, and that includes you and me, always do what they believe is right. We all make choices all the time. Some of them work in our favor. Others don’t. Nobody is good or bad. Everyone is a product of the time they are going through. If you have to do something, by all means do it, but remember, what goes around will come around!

With acceptance there can only be inner peace and happiness

No one can make you unhappy or disturb your inner peace unless you allow them to!      We often end up blaming others for the way we feel about the situations we are in. For instance, you order a coffee at a café and it arrives lukewarm. You tell the waiter to replace the coffee. He refuses. And you get angry. Till you arrived at the café and ordered that coffee you were in fine spirits. But that experience leaves you fuming. A friend who sees you stomping out of the café seeks to know the reason for your lousy mood. And you blame the café and the waiter. Now, while they may have served you bad coffee, the truth is you served yourself the lousy mood. Think about it – did the coffee or the waiter cause your unhappiness and anger or was it your expectation that the coffee be hot and the waiter be polite that caused you to lose your cool? The coffee arrived the way it did. The waiter behaved the way he did. You had an expectation that was different from reality. And so you were upset. In all situations in Life, if you choose to remain unruffled, no one can make you upset or angry, and no one can make you unhappy.
Happiness is always accepting, and loving, what is. In the example above, happiness meant accepting the coffee the way it came and accepting the waiter for the idiot that he is. This does not mean that you should not object to the poor service. Of course you can and you must. But don’t lose your equilibrium, your sense of happiness and inner peace, over someone else’s behavior. In fact, on a daily basis you can use the hundreds of provocations that Life throws at you, to train yourself to accept what is, the way it is and to be peaceful and happy. Someone cutting across the road as you drive, an irksome fellow passenger on a plane, a nasty auto-rickshaw or taxi driver, a shopper who elbows past you at the check-out late in a store, your rebellious teenager at home – each of these interactions offers you an opportunity to learn to be happy despite the circumstance, despite the provocation. Currently, you are succumbing to the provocation. You are responding with anger because you are questioning why someone is behaving the way he or she is. But if you let them be and if you agree that you are not going to lose your balance, your cool, you will find that you can be both peaceful and happy – all the time!
Responding to Life peacefully is a lot more sensible than reacting to Life. Reacting comes with impulse. Responding requires reflection. When you reflect over every event in your Life, even if it’s just for a moment, and then respond, you are giving yourself the chance to first accept your reality and then frame your action. And wherever there’s acceptance, instead of resistance, there can only be inner peace and happiness.

Every loss is an opportunity to flow with Life!

When something or someone gets taken away from you, just accept the event as an opportunity to live without that something or person. The most remarkable quality about Life is that, no matter how you feel about your loss, Life simply goes on!  
This year opened with our “miracle” car breaking down! (Why I call it a “miracle” car is chronicled in my Book – ‘Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content while living without money’ ; Westland, 2014.) The cost of fixing the car was far higher than the car’s value itself. Naturally, we sold the car. And obviously, given our financial state, we haven’t been able to buy another car. Then, our TV conked out. And then our 19-year-old (yes!!!) microwave too called it a day. We had been living without a washing machine for several months already, so suddenly, as I recalled to my wife, it seemed that we were the way when we were at the start of our careers. When we had none of the worldly assets that a household today necessarily needs – plus, we didn’t have work or money. As each of our basic necessities perished, we, as a family, adapted. None of us complained. None of us grieved. Yes, it was difficult. Whether it was having to wash clothes or heat food or simply not be able to put up your feet and watch TV. Without the car, we had to now deal everyday with the infamous auto-drivers of Chennai. But we just went on – knowing that this phase was something we all had to endure. Then, by the middle of the year, some friends stepped in and helped us replace our washing machine, microwave and TV. My smartphone too had crashed and another friend gifted me a spare phone he had. When I reflected on the year gone by, I couldn’t but marvel at the way Life works – Life just happens; things get taken away and yet, maybe you don’t get all that you want, but you do get whatever you need! Well, we still don’t have a car. But, seriously, we have learned to live without one!
Much of our insecurity about Life comes from our perceived inability to cope with loss. We imagine we cannot live without some things or some people. Yes, when we lose a thing or someone, that loss can be very painful. We will despair and grieve. But one way to deal with a loss is to ask yourself if you came into this world with this thing or person that you are grieving about. You came alone and empty-handed. And you will leave alone and empty-handed. Whatever you claim you own is what was given to you here. Your name, your qualifications, your experiences, your relationships, your money, your assets, your memories – all of them happened and are happening in this lifetime. And none of them can go with you when you depart from this planet. So, why fear losing someone or something, why grieve over the loss of someone or something, when you can’t take them away with you?

I have discovered that every loss is a beautiful opportunity to learn to live fully. This really means that every loss is an opportunity to trust Life more. To know that if you have been created, you will be provided for and looked after – no matter what happens to you. So, if you are faced with a loss, just accept your new reality and allow Life to take you forward. When you live this way, you will discover that Life simply goes on – and you too will learn to flow with it!     

Learn to trust Life and go follow your bliss!

Don’t postpone living – go do what you love doing and Life will take care of your bills and responsibilities!  
Yesterday, our neighbor visited us and we spent a good hour chatting about Life. His family has been going through a lot of challenges. His wife has been bed-ridden for over two years now. She’s had several orthopedic challenges with respect to her lower limbs. She’s already been through four surgeries and the prognosis is that she can walk with support only in a few more months. Meanwhile, my neighbor too was felled by a rare disease that paralyzed his muscles, and he had to spend over a month in hospital and six months recovering at home. Now that he’s much better, my neighbor, who’s in his late 50s, told us, “I want to spend the rest of my Life doing what I love doing. This experience has taught us that we must live our lives fully and enjoy every moment. In fact, thanks to my stay at the hospital, I have learned to even love my physical limitations and challenges.”
My neighbor makes a very valid point. Most of us postpone living, hoping that we can “some day” live the Life that we want. The moot question is when is that “some day” going to arrive? The truth is that if you expect that day to arrive in the future it never will – because when you reach a milestone you have set for yourself, a new one will entice you. For instance, if at 20 you decide that you will make a million dollars, by the time you are 30, to secure your finances and then go to do what you love doing, chances are you will either make that million or you won’t. If you don’t, you will want to continue to keep trying and so you will push your “do-what-I-love-doing” deadline to 40. And if you do, you will want to make some more money, to feel more secure – because more the money, more the insecurity! Or finally when you are ready, your family responsibilities will weigh you down – either your parents need looking after or your spouse needs support or your kids need financial assistance. Or simply, after you turn 50, after over 30 years of running the rat race, earning a living, raising a family, meeting targets and working hard, you are just exhausted. You don’t want to take “any risks”. And this is how, sadly, Life gets postponed.
There is no better day than today to start living the Life you want. You can either postpone living and keep suffering work and Life situations that you abhor or you can simply take the plunge and live the Life you want to – doing what you love doing. I talk from experience. Though I decided at age 29 that I will follow my bliss, it wasn’t until I turned 36 that I discovered what gave me joy. But over the last 11 years I have stood my ground – despite the gravity of my financial challenges – choosing to do only what I love doing and where I can create value. In this time, while money has been virtually non-existent, Life has taken care of all that I need. So, from the Life I have and what I have seen, I will always champion that when you know what gives you joy – just go do it. Don’t worry or feel insecure. Know that if you have been created, you will be taken care of and provided for. Learn to trust Life and go follow your bliss!
Life is a limited period offer. The Buddha has famously said: “The trouble is you think you have time”. This is so true. Which is why we naively keep postponing living. It is important that we pause and reflect on our lives from time to time. And no better time to do it than today – this Monday, now! Ask yourself – What  am I running around for? What do I really love doing? And what am I doing about it? Hopefully, your answers will awaken you to a Life of joy and you will go do what you want to do in the time that you still have left. When you let go, and live your Life without postponing it, Life will take care of you in ways in which you can’t even fathom!

Create your own magic, let your music happen and be happy!

When you can immerse yourself into doing something, no matter where you are, and you love doing it so much that you lose yourself, in it, to it – well, that’s one sure way to be happy!
T.M.Krishna in "One"
Picture Courtesy: One with Music/facebook PageA couple of days ago, I watched the opening of Carnatic classicist T.M.Krishna’s “One” (P.Jayendra, 2014) at Sathyam Cinemas. It was a magical experience. Jayendra calls his film an “experiment” to take the artiste out of the confines of a studio and/or auditorium and allow him to perform unbridled and free in nature – where the artiste experiences a oneness with creation itself. But the “experiment” actually ends up breaking tradition, blazing a new trail and setting musicians and music free. None could have been a better protagonist for this path-breaking initiative than Krishna. As Krishna himself told Narayan Lakshman of The Hindu, a few days before “One’s” release: “I have, over the years, moved to a different space in what music means to me and what the experience of music is; singing in tranquil, lush surroundings such as the foothills and forests of the Nilgiris allowed me to feel the air and space, actually experience beauty, and let the music happen.” When you watch the film, you too will realize how Krishna let go and let the music flow – unmindful of the film’s crew at work or of the three cameras that were capturing his every move and the seven microphones that were recording live sound – of not just the singing, but of the water flowing, the birds chirping, the clouds rumbling and the leaves rustling. Clearly, there appeared to be no retakes – Krishna sang from his soul and the crew recorded. Which explains how they finished recording the entire film’s content – all the songs – in just two days! That was my key takeaway from the “One” experience – Krishna just lost himself to what he was feeling, immersed himself in the moment and let the music happen.
For lack of a better quote, let me repeat, one more time, what Osho, the Master, has always said and championed: “When the dancer becomes the dance, when the singer becomes the song, when the musician becomes the music, magic happens.” Clearly you can witness and feel the magic happening in “One”. Interestingly, we too can create this kind of magic in our lives if we too follow our bliss – doing what gives us joy and immersing ourselves doing it all the time.
My bliss comes from being able to express myself through my writing, my public speaking engagements and through leading and inspiring change among people in workshops that I lead. I have found that every time take the floor, I just forget where I am and even who I am. I simply become the subject that I am championing.
I remember, some years ago, we were mandated with leading change in a very fractious environment at a leading healthcare company. I was anchoring a crucial offsite workshop, which marked the culmination of several months of our intervention. But parallel to our professional commitments, there was a big seismic event happening in our Life – we were just coming to terms with the fact that as a Firm we were bankrupt and penniless as a family! One of our creditors, from a large, multi-national bank, had figured out where we were conducting the workshop for this client and landed up at the hotel’s banquet area. He accosted me during the coffee break and threatened to both disrupt the proceedings by informing our client of our “dishonorable nature” and to also sue us in court. I told the gentleman and his contingent that while I appreciated their claim I could not fathom them interrupting me while I was at work. I requested that we meet another day at my office. But the creditor insisted on creating a ruckus. There were raised tones and some aggressive body language followed. This led to my client’s Executive Director, to walk up to me and ask if everything was okay. Her intervention led to the creditor and his team backing off. They agreed to meet me the next day at my office. But my equilibrium was clearly disturbed. I requested my client if I could extend the break by a few more minutes just to gather myself. When I resumed, and took the floor again, after 10 additional minutes, the Chairman of my client company also joined his team. Over the next two hours, I made an impassioned plea and case for change, citing opportunities that this team had, and highlighting the problems that needed resolution urgently. I lost myself to the cause that I was championing. When I finished, the Chairman, rose and soon the whole team, gave me a rousing, standing ovation. Each of them, including the rabid elements on the team, without any suggestion from me or the Chairman, promised to personally change and pledged to transform their company. When I got back home that evening, I marveled at how I had shut out such a disconcerting experience with the creditor and yet had been able to contribute so passionately to a client’s cause. I reckoned that this was possible only because I had done what I love doing, because I had immersed myself both to the cause and in the moment. In a couple of quarters after this workshop I bumped into the Chairman of this company again at the lobby of the Taj Coromandel Hotel and he told me this: “Your intervention was magical. It healed my team. Of course we had to let a couple of managers go, but the rest of them have truly changed the way they think and behave. Resultantly, they are performing better. This would not have been possible without what you did for us.” It was a humbling compliment. I cherished it more because is showcased to me that it is possible to banish worry and anxiety, anger and grief, and to let your music happen, if you do what you love doing and learn to be in the moment!

You too can do this. Despite what you are going through and what you are faced with, choose to spend an hour every day doing what you love doing – be it cooking, walking, gardening, reading, singing, dancing, writing, driving or even working (if you enjoy your job). Immerse yourself in that activity. You will soon discover that it is possible to lose yourself to what you love doing. That’s how you create your own magic, let your music happen, and learn to be happy! 

You are an ‘avatar’ too … created with a specific Purpose!

The key to intelligent living is to look within and find your Life’s Purpose manifest itself in front of you!
Here, take a break. And think about this calmly. There obviously is a reason why you and I have been created as human beings. Else, we could have been created as the swine that spreads the flu. Why be created as the human who gets that dreaded flu? So, let’s stop cribbing and instead celebrate being human. 
The problem with most of humankind is that we lament being human. We say, justifying our limitations and frailties, 'After all, I am human'. When we look at our creation from that perspective, we miss seeing the limitless power and potential within us. We are so overwhelmed by stories from history that we fail to see our true Self. We have grown up imagining that we are lesser mortals. For instance, when Krishna was born, so we are told, the prison gates opened and the serpent sheltered the baby as the father crossed the overflowing river in pouring rain. When Jesus was born, again as we have been told, the three Kings were guided by a star in the sky. When Nanak was born, I remember reading this in an Amar Chitra Katha edition, those visiting the child found a halo around the baby's head. But who recorded what they saw when you and I were born? Who tells the stories of our birth? Therein lies the reason as to why we don't recognize who we are and what we are truly capable of.
Know that if Mother Teresa's Life had a Purpose, if Swami Vivekananda's Life had a Purpose, if the Prophet's Life had a Purpose, so do our lives__your’s and mine. Swami Sathya Sai Baba says it beautifully,"The difference between you and me is that I know that I am God. And you don't know, or you refuse to accept, that you are God!" We will start living intelligently when we know that each of us has been created as a human with a specific Purpose. We are 'avatars' too....or 'messiahs', if you like.

Simply put, your Life’s Purpose will manifest itself in front of you when you stop searching for God outside of you. Being human is to know that the Godlight is within you. When you find it within, you too will 'awaken' to a lifetime of loving, serving and living!

Sow the seeds of love and bliss, harvest abundance!

The first step you take is what leads you to the last step.
The seed becomes the tree and also the fruit. So, if the seed is of bitter gourd, you are not going to get tomatoes from it. Unless you discover what you have done wrong, maybe get rid of all the bitter gourd growth, till your garden and sow tomato seeds, you ain't gettin' no tomatoes!
The problem is with the way we have all been brought up. And the problem is with the way we continue to bring up our kids. We have been taught that to be successful, you must be the first in your class, you must compete and vanquish the rest, you must not trust people__neighbors, classmates, even extended family because you 'may hurt yourself or even be cheated'. We have been taught that security comes from money. And so we must only choose vocations where there's money. But the soul demands nourishment from love, joy and bliss as you reach your 40s and beyond. And by the time you start seeking it__which is why you are on this Blog and reading this post!!!__your seed of 'me-firstism and money-over-joy' has grown to become a big, big tree and looks seemingly infallible. This tree will bear only the fruit of 'insecurity and incompleteness'. You are insecure about many aspects of your Life and you know that already! In order to help yourself to the fruit called bliss, you must sow the seed of love – of loving Life and accept it for what it is. You must tend the plant, as it sprouts, with joy. Only then will your soul feel blissful.

The biggest gift that we can give our children__and indeed to all of mankind__is to encourage them to take the right steps, sow the right seeds and lead them to follow their bliss. You don't want them to feel the way you are at your age, do you? If you want them to live intelligently, let them to be successful with and in love, egg them on to immerse themselves in what they simply love doing and you stop worrying about them. When we sow the seeds of love and bliss in our own families, we will harvest abundance. 

Don’t suffer! Either speak up and/or forgive and move on…

We sometimes don’t realize we have this phenomenal ability to forgive and move on. So we end up suffering people and situations – often endlessly!  
Two days ago, I met a young lady who was very disturbed emotionally. Her’s is an arranged marriage. Her husband of five years, she says, had let her down over an issue raised by his mother – her mother-in-law. He had apparently abused her (his wife) and held her accountable for “insulting” his mother. This incident is over two years old and even as this young lady has been struggling with this emotional hurt, her husband has been diagnosed with cancer. Interestingly, she’s been by his side, dutifully nursing him and helping him cope with all the pain and depression. She told me while she was doing whatever she could to help her husband, she was still unable to get over her hurt over the past and move on. “I simply am unable to forgive him for what he did to me. Agreed, my mother-in-law made a mountain out a molehill, but I can’t understand why my husband vented his fury at me. I felt trampled upon and felt like dirt. Now, when I sit by his side all night helping him deal with his pain and nightmares, I am also suffering within. I feel so much anger for him. Instead of letting it all out, I am having to control it and look after him. This makes me feel worse,” the lady told me, breaking down a few times as she shared her predicament.
I told her that she was making matters worse for her by carrying so much hurt and anger within her. She either has to express her anger – which is to tell her husband how she feels about being treated the way she was or she has to forgive him and move on. It will be ideal if she can do both. Her suffering, I told her, was coming from repressing her feelings. Since her husband is in a fragile state himself, the only way forward for her – and him – at the moment, is for her to be by his side. And since this is not the time to rake up a past hurt and discuss it, she must forgive him and pour her heart into caring for him. (Well, she has the option to leave him at this time. But she, rightly so, does not want to exercise this option.)

Her story may seem unique. But it is not. Many of us suffer from not being able to speak our minds when we must. And many of us also suffer from our inability to forgive and move on. It may not always be possible for us to forget whatever has happened in Life, but we can surely forgive others for what they have done to us. Here’s the nub: when someone does something to you that you do not appreciate, simply tell them so on their face. If you can’t speak up – send that person a text, an email or a WhatsApp message or a facebook messenger note. Then forgive that person and move on. If you have failed to speak your mind and communicate your feelings because you see no point in even discussing the issue with this person, at least forgive this person for his or her transgression and move on. The more you cling on to a hurt, an insult, an abuse, a betrayal, the more you will suffer. Interestingly, unless you “allow” someone to hurt you emotionally, you will never suffer. If you treat people with the view that everyone is entitled to their opinions and behaviors, you will never be emotionally disturbed no matter what people do to you. However, since not all of us can claim to be so evolved and mature, the best way is to speak up or move on or, in a best case scenario, do both. Never suffer anyone or anything grieving that you “wish” you were treated better. It is this wishing, your wishing, that is causing your suffering. And never the person or the event that has upset you.

Give your attention to what's more important than to what comforts you

Whatever we give attention to in Life grows.
You and I are who we are because of what we have focused on. If we have dwelt on mundane issues, we will be stuck in the rut. If we have looked at the magic and beauty of Life, we will be surrounded by people, events and scenarios that make us happy. For you to understand how this works, you must know what's important for you in Life. And you must shift your attention to those things, those pursuits that are really important. When you look at the roads, the unpicked garbage and the street people or when you read the headlines about selfish, corrupt people you will end up being cynical. This cynicism will grow. Making you bitter and angry. Instead, if you focus on the good that people do each day to make your Life possible with a degree of comfort you have chosen, you will find gratitude welling up within you. This gratitude will make you both peaceful and prosperous. If you focus on how it’s possible for your child to go astray in this big, bad world, that feeling of insecurity will chew you up. It will haunt you even in your sleep. Instead if you focus on the joy of having brought a new Life into this world, through you, and allow that goodwill to grow within you, you will see your child as a wholesome individual charting her own path in this world.

In Life, all things you seek and that comfort you are mundane at one level: the money you have, the control you think you have on your circle of influence, the respect you get from society and other such similar stuff. And yet what you have and don't think of always are the most important at another level: this Life, your family, the ability to touch, see, feel, hear, express....Give your attention to what's more important than to what comforts you. You will then invite abundance unlimited into your Life!