Michael K. Smith's Blog, page 38
August 7, 2019
The U.S. Conquest of Hawaii
August 21 marks the 60th anniversary of Hawaiian statehood. Most Americans know little more than "Pearl Harbor" about the 50th state, and few realize that when the U.S. naval base there was attacked by the Japanese, it was not at the time U.S. territory. We know even less about how Hawaii came to have an important U.S. naval base that could help trigger a world war. This national "ignorance" of vital historical matters is a manifestation of what James Baldwin called American "innocence," the inability to face or even recognize essential facts about ourselves. In relation to Hawaii this innocence renders us oblivious to the imperial power grab that robbed the islands of their independence 125 years ago.
As long as Great Britain deterred rival powers from colonizing the islands, the United States championed Hawaiian independence. In 1842, President James Tyler declared that Washington wanted "no peculiar advantages, no exclusive control over the Hawaiian Government, but is content with its independent existence and anxiously wishes for its security and prosperity." Therefore Washington would oppose any nation's attempt "to take possession of the islands, colonize them, and subvert the native government." So was the Monroe Doctrine extended to Hawaii. Hawaiian independence was also recognized by the major European powers, among others, and affirmed by many treaties and proclamations.
As the nineteenth century proceeded, the balance of power shifted towards the United States, offering new imperial opportunities. U.S. colonists developed a booming sugar industry, enhancing the importance of Hawaii as an imperial stepping-stone towards outposts in Asia. Rear Admiral Samuel Francis DuPont went on record declaring that "It is impossible to estimate too highly the value and importance of the Hawaiian Islands, whether in a commercial or a military sense." So the U.S. "self-defense" perimeter expanded to include Hawaii, which was menaced by a 90% majority of indigenous Hawaiians that the white planter class called a ninety percent "ignorant majority." So Washington assumed the white man's burden of guiding and assisting the Hawaiians - so "low in mental culture" - on their journey from grass hut backwardness to civilized existence.
In 1886, Planters Monthly editorialized that the naive Hawaiian "does not yet realize" the "bounds and limits fixed" and the "moral and personal obligations attending" the gift their imperial benefactors had bestowed on them: "The white man has organized for the native a Government, placed the ballot in his hands, and set him up as a lawmaker and a ruler; but the placing of these powers in his hands before he knows how to use them, is like placing sharp knives, pointed instruments and dangerous tools in the hands of infants." Such sentiments will be all-too-familiar to the student of Euroamerican foreign policy (always conducted by "men of best quality") going back five centuries.
The Marines landed to support the U.S. colonists in 1873, just 30 years after President Tyler had loudly endorsed Hawaiian independence. When the plantation oligarchs failed to take power in the elections of 1886, they launched a coup d'état the following year assisted by their military arm the Hawaiian Rifles. The "Bayonet Constitution" imposed on the king awarded U.S. citizens the vote while banning Asians as "aliens" and excluding a large part of the native population with property qualifications. The coup also delivered the Pearl River estuary as a site for a U.S. naval base.
An annexation treaty presented by President Harrison to the U.S. Congress expired after an investigation of the coup revealed popular backing for Queen Liliuokalani rather than the provisional government of the planter class. With a continuing influx of Asians to the islands heightening U.S. fears of a redistribution of wealth via the ballot box, Teddy Roosevelt bellowed of "a crime against white civilization." Only one remedy stood out: union with the white-dominated mainland in order to dilute the Asian majority and preserve white rule.
Further acts of U.S. benevolence followed in due course. In 1891, the U.S.S. Pensacola arrived "to guard American interests," which by then included ownership of a modest four-fifths of the arable land. In January 1893, Queen Liliuokalani made a final effort to preserve Hawaiian independence, eliminating wealth qualifications and granting the right to vote exclusively to Hawaiians. On orders of U.S. Minister John Stevens, a staunch annexationist known for his "partiality for white folks," U.S. troops landed and imposed martial law in support of "the best citizens and nine-tenths of the property owners of the country," in the words of the expedition's commanding officer. Stevens informed the U.S. Secretary of State that "the Hawaiian pear is now fully ripe and this is the golden hour to pluck it."
U.S. planters and their Hawaiian collaborators issued a proclamation officially declaring the belief on the part of the "overwhelming majority of conservative and responsible members of the community" - who constituted a few hundred men - "that independent, constitutional, representative and responsible government, able to protect itself from revolutionary uprisings and royal aggression, is no longer possible in Hawaii under the existing system of government." Queen Liliuokalani surrendered under protest to the "superior force of the United States of America" and its troops, abdicating in hopes of sparing her followers the death penalty. She herself was fined $5000 and sentenced to five years at hard labor for her crimes against U.S. benevolence, though the sentence was commuted in 1896. With the usual patriotic fanfare the Republic of Hawaii was established on July 4, 1894, with American pineapple baron Sanford Dole proclaiming himself president.
Sources:
Kent, Noel J., Hawaii: Islands Under The Influence, (Monthly Review, 1983)
Zinn, Howard, A People's History of the United States, (Harper, 1995)
Schirmer, Daniel B., Republic or Empire: American Resistance to the Philippine War, (Schenken Publishing, 1972)
Chomsky, Noam, Year 501 - The Conquest Continues, (South End, 1993)
As long as Great Britain deterred rival powers from colonizing the islands, the United States championed Hawaiian independence. In 1842, President James Tyler declared that Washington wanted "no peculiar advantages, no exclusive control over the Hawaiian Government, but is content with its independent existence and anxiously wishes for its security and prosperity." Therefore Washington would oppose any nation's attempt "to take possession of the islands, colonize them, and subvert the native government." So was the Monroe Doctrine extended to Hawaii. Hawaiian independence was also recognized by the major European powers, among others, and affirmed by many treaties and proclamations.
As the nineteenth century proceeded, the balance of power shifted towards the United States, offering new imperial opportunities. U.S. colonists developed a booming sugar industry, enhancing the importance of Hawaii as an imperial stepping-stone towards outposts in Asia. Rear Admiral Samuel Francis DuPont went on record declaring that "It is impossible to estimate too highly the value and importance of the Hawaiian Islands, whether in a commercial or a military sense." So the U.S. "self-defense" perimeter expanded to include Hawaii, which was menaced by a 90% majority of indigenous Hawaiians that the white planter class called a ninety percent "ignorant majority." So Washington assumed the white man's burden of guiding and assisting the Hawaiians - so "low in mental culture" - on their journey from grass hut backwardness to civilized existence.
In 1886, Planters Monthly editorialized that the naive Hawaiian "does not yet realize" the "bounds and limits fixed" and the "moral and personal obligations attending" the gift their imperial benefactors had bestowed on them: "The white man has organized for the native a Government, placed the ballot in his hands, and set him up as a lawmaker and a ruler; but the placing of these powers in his hands before he knows how to use them, is like placing sharp knives, pointed instruments and dangerous tools in the hands of infants." Such sentiments will be all-too-familiar to the student of Euroamerican foreign policy (always conducted by "men of best quality") going back five centuries.
The Marines landed to support the U.S. colonists in 1873, just 30 years after President Tyler had loudly endorsed Hawaiian independence. When the plantation oligarchs failed to take power in the elections of 1886, they launched a coup d'état the following year assisted by their military arm the Hawaiian Rifles. The "Bayonet Constitution" imposed on the king awarded U.S. citizens the vote while banning Asians as "aliens" and excluding a large part of the native population with property qualifications. The coup also delivered the Pearl River estuary as a site for a U.S. naval base.
An annexation treaty presented by President Harrison to the U.S. Congress expired after an investigation of the coup revealed popular backing for Queen Liliuokalani rather than the provisional government of the planter class. With a continuing influx of Asians to the islands heightening U.S. fears of a redistribution of wealth via the ballot box, Teddy Roosevelt bellowed of "a crime against white civilization." Only one remedy stood out: union with the white-dominated mainland in order to dilute the Asian majority and preserve white rule.
Further acts of U.S. benevolence followed in due course. In 1891, the U.S.S. Pensacola arrived "to guard American interests," which by then included ownership of a modest four-fifths of the arable land. In January 1893, Queen Liliuokalani made a final effort to preserve Hawaiian independence, eliminating wealth qualifications and granting the right to vote exclusively to Hawaiians. On orders of U.S. Minister John Stevens, a staunch annexationist known for his "partiality for white folks," U.S. troops landed and imposed martial law in support of "the best citizens and nine-tenths of the property owners of the country," in the words of the expedition's commanding officer. Stevens informed the U.S. Secretary of State that "the Hawaiian pear is now fully ripe and this is the golden hour to pluck it."
U.S. planters and their Hawaiian collaborators issued a proclamation officially declaring the belief on the part of the "overwhelming majority of conservative and responsible members of the community" - who constituted a few hundred men - "that independent, constitutional, representative and responsible government, able to protect itself from revolutionary uprisings and royal aggression, is no longer possible in Hawaii under the existing system of government." Queen Liliuokalani surrendered under protest to the "superior force of the United States of America" and its troops, abdicating in hopes of sparing her followers the death penalty. She herself was fined $5000 and sentenced to five years at hard labor for her crimes against U.S. benevolence, though the sentence was commuted in 1896. With the usual patriotic fanfare the Republic of Hawaii was established on July 4, 1894, with American pineapple baron Sanford Dole proclaiming himself president.
Sources:
Kent, Noel J., Hawaii: Islands Under The Influence, (Monthly Review, 1983)
Zinn, Howard, A People's History of the United States, (Harper, 1995)
Schirmer, Daniel B., Republic or Empire: American Resistance to the Philippine War, (Schenken Publishing, 1972)
Chomsky, Noam, Year 501 - The Conquest Continues, (South End, 1993)
Published on August 07, 2019 20:24
August 6, 2019
1945: Hiroshima and Nagasaki
A Sun Of Fire,
a violent light never before seen in the world, rises slowly, cracks the sky open, and collapses. Three days later a second sun of suns bursts over Japan. Beneath remain the cinders of two cities, a desert of rubble, tens of thousands dead and more thousands condemned to die little by little for years to come.
The war was nearly over, Hitler and Mussolini gone, when President Harry Truman gave the order to drop atomic bombs on the populations of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In the United States it is the culmination of a national clamor for the prompt annihilation of the Yellow Peril. It is high time to finish off once and for all the imperial conceits of this arrogant Asian country, never colonized by anyone. The only good one is a dead one, says the press of these treacherous little monkeys.
Now all doubt is dispelled. There is one great conqueror among the conquerors. The United States emerges from the war intact and more powerful than ever. It acts as if the whole world were its trophy.
------Eduardo Galeano, Memory of Fire - Century of the Wind, p. 126
a violent light never before seen in the world, rises slowly, cracks the sky open, and collapses. Three days later a second sun of suns bursts over Japan. Beneath remain the cinders of two cities, a desert of rubble, tens of thousands dead and more thousands condemned to die little by little for years to come.
The war was nearly over, Hitler and Mussolini gone, when President Harry Truman gave the order to drop atomic bombs on the populations of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In the United States it is the culmination of a national clamor for the prompt annihilation of the Yellow Peril. It is high time to finish off once and for all the imperial conceits of this arrogant Asian country, never colonized by anyone. The only good one is a dead one, says the press of these treacherous little monkeys.
Now all doubt is dispelled. There is one great conqueror among the conquerors. The United States emerges from the war intact and more powerful than ever. It acts as if the whole world were its trophy.
------Eduardo Galeano, Memory of Fire - Century of the Wind, p. 126
Published on August 06, 2019 10:29
July 26, 2019
CapitalGate’s The Problem, Not Russiagate
"Under existing conditions, private capitalists inevitably control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information. It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of political rights." - Albert Einstein
While the professional class minority employed in sustaining the multi-million dollar russiagate fiasco has financially cleaned up, one has to sympathize with the slightly larger minority of innocent citizens who missed their therapy appointments in order to watch or listen to the incredibly boring, pointless and nearly unending game-of-drones latest chapter, called “Mueller’s Testimony”. The overwhelming majority of Americans only took note of this programming for the puerile when tuned into other social and anti-social media belching up enormous amounts of this brain dissolving gas. But both the minority under forceful brain assault and the majority not paying any attention are kept from far more serious events and issues that warrant all our consideration.
While one of the ruling class parties is under forced obsession with the fiction of russiagate, both parties are moving ahead either in blissful ignorance or saber rattling madness, towards war in the middle east for Israel, while increasing finances for Israel, suppressing American freedom of speech for Israel, and throwing in some mental assault on China to take a little attention off Russia and put it on the other alleged major menace. The imperial system of global capitalism is under greater threat than ever, with competition originating in new forms, nations and cultures everyday. What’s a ruling minority to do but further coerce its minions under thought control while slaughtering foreigners whenever and wherever possible, even as that becomes more problematic? The twenty first century has created even bigger problems for minority rule than the last one did.
As if the repercussions of the Russian revolution in 1917 weren’t bad enough for the empire, the Chinese revolt thirty-two years later caused greater nightmares in the west. While seemingly controlling these two major revolutions in part by boycotting, sabotaging and engaging them in proxy wars, Iran’s 1979 Islamic revolution was immediately seen as a threat by the US and its new imperial partner Israel, with forebodings of doom at this Middle Eastern national force taking control from its colonial rulers. Iran offered a newer adversary driven by religion as well as political economics, and could become a local power threatening to Israel such as had never existed before. Naturally, the global twins of terror were alarmed and that alarm has grown as has Iran’s stature and power in the area and the world. And even the end of the soviet union, seen as a victory for the short sighted west, has resulted in a rebuilt Russian force and renewed assumption of a role as world power, bringing revival of all the dumbest forms of past anti-communism this time directed at a seemingly worse enemy: capitalism!
Meanwhile, China underwent a massive reform and became a capitalist economic system under the control of a communist party, thereby experiencing an incredible measure of growth quite shocking to the west and causing more need to fear the end of euro-ruled environmental destruction in a more equitable –if that’s possible - exercise of market forces under the domain of an authority putting the public good before private profit. What are the ruling powers to do?
Elect a totally un-related to the political establishment egotistical rich boob as president, whose ego speaks so honestly he is all but totally destroying the usual hypocritical political protocol, and having failed miserably by allowing that to happen, blame it all on Russia. And call the greatest friend Israel has ever had in the white house a tool of.. guess which country? While past presidents toed the Israeli line in deference to the power of the Israeli lobby, this one doesn’t need their money and actually believes the mythology. Ruling power is really in a quandary and so must reduce the population to even greater confusion than usual, making Einstein’s opening quote almost an understatement.
Thus we have a nation in debt for 23 trillion dollars, mostly spent making a tiny minority wealthy beyond belief while buying a massive military with hundreds of foreign bases and enough munitions to destroy the entire planet, including Trump’s ego. This while numbers of America’s homeless increase by the minute, personal consumer and student debt are in the trillions, and the economy is said to be booming, once again assuring that it makes great sense to rely on a market under control of private profiteers and claim democracy, equality and peace on earth good will to all as the outcome of such deranged lunacy.
Meanwhile, we hear that the oaf in charge is a sexist – he leaves the seat up in the toilet – a racist – he probably has more lower income supporters “of color” than upper income types of color or no color can imagine – and anything but the danger of policy in the middle east getting beyond usual wretched American anti-Semitism towards Palestinians, and threatening to further alienate more of the world from the monstrous entity our propaganda claims as humanity’s hope while most of the world sees us as the greatest threat to peace and global security imaginable.
So, look for ever more details of Trump’s guilt in working for Russia - not Israel - hiding his tax forms so we won’t learn he is rich– who knew? – and how he is strengthening America’s greatest menace, alienated guys with shaved heads and swastika tattoos who are making it difficult for guys who ride in limos and deal billions of dollars in stocks and bonds every day in service to their masters who use some of the profits to pay media stenographers to fill our heads with important info about Russia taking over our electoral process from the billionaires who previously owned it and are now reduced to watching some measly little Russian online operation of market hustlers spending something like a hundred thousand dollars – wow! – to affect the outcome of the multi billion-dollar market mall we’re told is our democracy.
The American dollar’s power is going the way of all forms of previous domination and many nations are banding together to confront what the American people should be dealing with: bringing our nation under the control of its people, not just its minority ruling class, before the rest of the world has to do it for us. It’s going to have to happen to save humanity and we’d be much better off affecting that transformation ourselves, rather than be distracted further by more nonsense from consciousness control about Russia. Our problems are the climate calamity threatening all of humanity, Wall Street, the Pentagon, congress, the white house, and especially the market under minority control which is responsible for all of them. The famous socialist thinker quoted at the beginning was talking about something more recently called fake news, but whatever the label, he had it right and it’s still true.
Published on July 26, 2019 11:35
June 23, 2019
Assange and Trump: Real Hero, Fake Villain
The rapid descent of the nation, the system and the planet under the domain of private-profit-first capitalism continues with opposition growing but still far too much acceptance that only agrees to new employees at the level of state rule who represent the same class interests but in more polite forms. This means some benefits for some groups but always at far more cost to others. Affirmative Action, to mention only one program created to supposedly amend some of racism’s worst social malevolence towards a minority, did far more to advance women, who represent a majority, while bringing growth to the black middle and upper middle classes but even greater growth in black poverty and a massive increase in black prisoners crowding America’s penal colony. A profit for some always entails a loss for others and as long as this system prevails, so will that rule.
A Trump regime more feared by Republican Party wealth than Democratic Party wealth feared Bernie Sanders is holding true to those fears in that it might rush the empire to ruin even faster than what was inevitable anyway. While Trump has some tendencies that put him left of what, under current perverse standards, passes for liberal, his inability to maintain a position from the start of a sentence to the end is most feared by the ruling class, which is why it’s liberal sect-cult has been moving towards impeachment since the day before his inauguration while the conservative-cult-sect has seen to it that he is surrounded by dunderheads and murderers who make him seem almost thoughtful by comparison.
As his administration’s policies, not always his, help bring Russia, China and really the rest of the world closer together both in immediate fear and long-term hope, the American people have to understand that we are part of that group and act that way rather than continue performing as humanity’s self-chosen rulers. We are fast approaching a point at which not just future generational threats are forecast but those in which tomorrow morning could bring on a colossal blunder that creates a war beyond anything even the brain-dead and morals-free who cause it might have imagined. The present crisis with Iran is simply the long term Israeli occupied American government policy writ larger, more dangerously and, if possible, even dumber than in the past. But this closely follows the near destruction of Venezuela which has failed but at critical cost to that nation, suffering along with too many others the death rattle abuse of an imperial power which still rules for the moment only as a result of being able to kill more people more quickly than any other nation. That awesome and ugly power is fading, too, but hoping that it will happen soon enough isn’t enough. The American people will have to bring about radical change, a transformation here that will greatly aid in the transformation of the globe into a community of cooperation, peace and social justice, to replace the bloody animosity and injustice so long accepted as reality.
Present trends are hopeful only under continued lesser evilism that enables voters to select leaders appealing to minority identity groups and performing beneficially for them while still aiding and abetting the system that will create a few more billionaires but far more poverty, war, and far less humanity the longer it is tolerated. Continued stress on individual villains posing as leaders and minorities disguising humanity as special identity groups is the divide and conquer strategy of our rulers.
If there is a single individual that warrants any attention beyond that of the human race, at least for the moment, it should be Julian Assange, whose persecution and suffering after performing as a heroic servant of the people is a disgrace to supposed if yet unrealized democracy. The future of a truly informed public able to act with full knowledge of what rulers are actually doing, after generations of living in forced atmospheres of propaganda passing for material reality, is under greater threat than ever. Assange, and one of his prime sources, Manning, are imprisoned by social forces that represent a menace to the human race and by individuals in leadership among that force who have pond scum between their ears and pus running through their veins.
These are the creatures who can rule that foreign nations must bow to the imperium or be destroyed because it knows best, is best, and represents future freedom and democracy, even if present slavery, mass murder and authoritarianism are its most important tools. These are the paid servants who report (?) and comment on reality as stenographers to power and call it “journalism” and “punditry”. And they are a tiny minority of the human race, running the nations, the people and the planet into the ground at an ever-faster pace, while we are distracted by false consciousness beyond the imagination of past social critics who invented that term.
Showing his contrasting skills, among them the negative of acting like an oaf with a nuclear weapon in his hand but the positive of at times being a crystal clear communicator, the ego-maniac in the white house has popularized the term “fake news”, instantly understood by just about everyone as describing the political establishment, corporate media and those holding power over the means of communication. That power is now fading as well, by what is still anti-social but has great possibilities of becoming truly social media. At present, it is still a market tool to make some richer at the expense of consumers, but Assange and Manning are prime examples of what it can mean in truly spreading information to the people and not just the latest product for sale or celebrity to admire or paid politician to vote for.
While the issues of climate and atmospheric plague, threats of more war, greater poverty and approaching capitalist bankruptcy must be confronted and dealt with for the longer term, the short term threat to Assange and Manning is a crisis for not just them but for humanity and any possibility of opening the books and files to reveal real rather than fake news. Freeing them is far more important than simply getting rid of Trump. Not just for them and the American people, but for what that will say about America to the people of the world.
Published on June 23, 2019 16:49
June 14, 2019
Noam Chomsky Explains Gargantuan Waste Spending Through the Pentagon
December 13, 1989, KGNU Radio
Caller: "I'd like to ask you about . . . the Pentagon budget, which is only about 6 percent of the GNP, and military procurement is only 2 percent or 3 percent of the GNP. If you think that exists to benefit high-tech industries, it seems like it would make more sense for the government to directly fund high-tech industries if they wanted to do that. Probably the public would be even more supportive of it, like they are in Japan."
Noam Chomsky: "The figures about percentage of GNP are almost totally meaningless. The point is that the corporate managers in advanced industry - this is true of electronics, computers, pharmaceuticals, etc. - expect that the government, meaning the public, will pick up the costly parts of the production process, the parts that are not profitable - research and development. That's got to be paid for by the public. Furthermore, the public, through the Pentagon, provides a state-guaranteed market, which is available for waste production if commercial markets don't work. That is a gift to the corporate managers. It's a cushion for planning. When something can be sold on the market, you sell it. If not, the public purchases it and destroys it. Furthermore, the public pays the cost while the corporation makes the profit. If you take a look at particular industries you can see how this works.
"Take, say, the computer industry, the core of the modern industrial economy. I'm kind of smoothing the edges here, but the story is essentially accurate. You can put in tenth-order effect, if you like. In the 1950s, computers were not marketable, so the public paid 100 percent of the cost of research, development and production through the Pentagon. By the 1960s, they were beginning to be marketable in the commercial market, so the public participation declined to about 50 percent. The idea is that the public pays the costs, the corporations make the profits. Public subsidy, private profit; that's what we call free enterprise. By the 1980s there were very substantial new expenditures required for advances in fifth-generation computers and new fancy parallel processing systems, etc. So the public's share in the costs went up very substantially through Star Wars and the Pentagon, etc. That's the way it works. Percentage of GNP doesn't tell you anything relevant to this process.
"As to why the government doesn't just come to the population and play it the Japanese way, the answer is, in my view, and this has been the answer that business has given and I think they're right, that the public here wouldn't tolerate it. This is not a docile, submissive population like Japan. You can't come to the population here and tell them: Look, next year you're going to cut back on your consumption by this amount so that IBM can make more profits and then maybe ten years from now your son or your daughter will get a job. That wouldn't wash. What you tell people here is: The Russians are coming, so we better send up a lot of missiles into space and maybe out of that will come something useful for IBM and then maybe your son will get a job in ten years. Those last parts you don't bother saying.
Caller: "Who are you quoting? Are you quoting yourself or some analyst in the military or what?"
Chomsky: "What I'm saying is what politicians in the United States say."
Caller: "I've never heard them say that."
Chomsky: "You've never heard a politician in the United States say, the Russians are coming, we have to have more missiles?"
Caller: "I've never heard them say that we need it because we have to fund some high-tech industries."
"You didn't hear what I just said. I said that the last two sentences I added were not what is publicly said. How you do it in the United States is you say, look, we've got to defend ourselves, we need Star Wars, we need the Pentagon system, and the effect of that is to achieve what I just described with regard to the computer industry, or whatever. That is because this is a relatively free society.
"If politicians were to approach the public telling them, look, we've decided that next year you're going to cut back on your consumption so that IBM will make more profit, the reaction in the United States would be a healthy reaction: Who are you to tell me to cut back so that IBM will make more profit? If it's going to be a social decision of that kind, I want to take part in it. And that's precisely why business does not want to be put in those terms. They do not want social policy, which is going to organize people, to become involved in making decisions over investment. This issue has come up over the years, many times, in the business press. Go back to the 1940s where they point out there are two techniques: one technique is the military system, the other technique would be social spending, infrastructure development, hospitals, services, etc. or useful production. But the latter is no good. It will work from a technical, economic point of view, but it has all sorts of unwelcome side effects. For example, it tends to organize public constituencies. If the government gets involved in carrying out activities that affect the public existence directly, people will want to get involved in it."
-----Noam Chomsky, Chronicles of Dissent - Interviews With David Barsamian," pps. 178-82
Caller: "I'd like to ask you about . . . the Pentagon budget, which is only about 6 percent of the GNP, and military procurement is only 2 percent or 3 percent of the GNP. If you think that exists to benefit high-tech industries, it seems like it would make more sense for the government to directly fund high-tech industries if they wanted to do that. Probably the public would be even more supportive of it, like they are in Japan."
Noam Chomsky: "The figures about percentage of GNP are almost totally meaningless. The point is that the corporate managers in advanced industry - this is true of electronics, computers, pharmaceuticals, etc. - expect that the government, meaning the public, will pick up the costly parts of the production process, the parts that are not profitable - research and development. That's got to be paid for by the public. Furthermore, the public, through the Pentagon, provides a state-guaranteed market, which is available for waste production if commercial markets don't work. That is a gift to the corporate managers. It's a cushion for planning. When something can be sold on the market, you sell it. If not, the public purchases it and destroys it. Furthermore, the public pays the cost while the corporation makes the profit. If you take a look at particular industries you can see how this works.
"Take, say, the computer industry, the core of the modern industrial economy. I'm kind of smoothing the edges here, but the story is essentially accurate. You can put in tenth-order effect, if you like. In the 1950s, computers were not marketable, so the public paid 100 percent of the cost of research, development and production through the Pentagon. By the 1960s, they were beginning to be marketable in the commercial market, so the public participation declined to about 50 percent. The idea is that the public pays the costs, the corporations make the profits. Public subsidy, private profit; that's what we call free enterprise. By the 1980s there were very substantial new expenditures required for advances in fifth-generation computers and new fancy parallel processing systems, etc. So the public's share in the costs went up very substantially through Star Wars and the Pentagon, etc. That's the way it works. Percentage of GNP doesn't tell you anything relevant to this process.
"As to why the government doesn't just come to the population and play it the Japanese way, the answer is, in my view, and this has been the answer that business has given and I think they're right, that the public here wouldn't tolerate it. This is not a docile, submissive population like Japan. You can't come to the population here and tell them: Look, next year you're going to cut back on your consumption by this amount so that IBM can make more profits and then maybe ten years from now your son or your daughter will get a job. That wouldn't wash. What you tell people here is: The Russians are coming, so we better send up a lot of missiles into space and maybe out of that will come something useful for IBM and then maybe your son will get a job in ten years. Those last parts you don't bother saying.
Caller: "Who are you quoting? Are you quoting yourself or some analyst in the military or what?"
Chomsky: "What I'm saying is what politicians in the United States say."
Caller: "I've never heard them say that."
Chomsky: "You've never heard a politician in the United States say, the Russians are coming, we have to have more missiles?"
Caller: "I've never heard them say that we need it because we have to fund some high-tech industries."
"You didn't hear what I just said. I said that the last two sentences I added were not what is publicly said. How you do it in the United States is you say, look, we've got to defend ourselves, we need Star Wars, we need the Pentagon system, and the effect of that is to achieve what I just described with regard to the computer industry, or whatever. That is because this is a relatively free society.
"If politicians were to approach the public telling them, look, we've decided that next year you're going to cut back on your consumption so that IBM will make more profit, the reaction in the United States would be a healthy reaction: Who are you to tell me to cut back so that IBM will make more profit? If it's going to be a social decision of that kind, I want to take part in it. And that's precisely why business does not want to be put in those terms. They do not want social policy, which is going to organize people, to become involved in making decisions over investment. This issue has come up over the years, many times, in the business press. Go back to the 1940s where they point out there are two techniques: one technique is the military system, the other technique would be social spending, infrastructure development, hospitals, services, etc. or useful production. But the latter is no good. It will work from a technical, economic point of view, but it has all sorts of unwelcome side effects. For example, it tends to organize public constituencies. If the government gets involved in carrying out activities that affect the public existence directly, people will want to get involved in it."
-----Noam Chomsky, Chronicles of Dissent - Interviews With David Barsamian," pps. 178-82
Published on June 14, 2019 09:04
June 7, 2019
What is so rare as a - fake news - day in June? *
While the continued mental assault on what is left of public consciousness still features the idiot fiction of Russiagate, or how the evil Putin arranged to trash our great American democracy and defeat holy mother Hillary on behalf of cursed father Donald, the month of June offered not one but two major fictional treatments of historic reality to further reduce innocent minds to enslaved mentalities. The fables of D-Day, celebrated every year in glorification of a war actually won by the Soviet Union but taught as America’s gift to the global marketplace, and the unholy terror alleged by evil China in the infamous Tiananmen uprising treated here as a story worthy of creation by Disney, Spielberg, Mother Goose and Ronald Reagan combined.
While American troops paid a heavy price and contributed mightily to the victory over Germany in WW2 with the attack on the French coast memorialized as D-Day, that beachhead of some 50 miles was dwarfed by the 1500 mile wide eastern front where Russia absorbed more death and destruction than any other nation in that massive bloodbath. D-Day was a much belated response from America and Britain to endless pleas that an attack be conducted in the west to spare some of the terrible toll on Russia. That nation suffered as many as 20 million dead, entire cities and villages reduced to giant cemeteries and rubble while a post war fairy tale was spread of American GIs rescuing Europe, giving candy bars to children, creating fictional democracy and real pregnancy wherever they went. French brutality towards its women who allegedly fraternized with the German enemy, many doing so to help their families survive, was covered somewhat in newsreels released here. But American troops impregnating hordes of French women, reducing many to prostitution under conditions of wartime poverty and hardship, was hardly mentioned. The entire history of that so-called “great” war is as smothered in propaganda and fiction as any story of American conflict and we still pay a price of belief in alleged glory participating in an orgy of mass murder that may have taken the lives of far more than fifty million and was deemed totally unnecessary by many critics at the time. They, of course, were quickly labeled as fascists, communists or non-sectarian free thinkers and dismissed from any hearing by the public. Critical thinking about ruling propaganda has no place in a democracy. And boiled excrement makes for a nutritious meal.
While that war put America, untouched by any of its horror on our mainland while Europe and the pacific were nearly destroyed, at the top of the industrial pyramid of capital by its end, its controlling global position has lasted until the present historic moment. This finds the world reeling under a series of political, economic and environmental breakdowns all due to the reduction of humanity to commodity consumers in a vast shopping mall that is reducing the planet to a garbage dump, and an ever growing ghetto of multitudes reduced to poverty while a small group enjoy riches beyond the wildest fantasies of past or present royalty. That reality has produced many conditions of revolutionary aspirations among people disgusted with the status quo, none of those having succeeded yet but some coming closer to ideals growing more necessary as more of humanity sees the potential horror of continued operation as an anti-human system of alleged democracy passing for a market place in which the rich and poor enjoy supposed equal access to the fruits of life. This political economic religious fanaticism is coming face to face with the political economic science that finds anti-social reality reducing humanity to a future that threatens to be much shorter than its past. The controlling mindset that perpetuates the madness plays a further role in the second June historic moment treated as myth by western mind management. What is called the Tiananmen “massacre” has destroyed more western consciousness than any eastern bodies allegedly taken in that event.
When Chinese seekers of more democracy and less corruption rose in protest against their government much of the organization came from outside China, in the tradition of so-called “color revolutions” of the present promoted by western capital’s agents both in and outside the country supposedly experiencing the call for freedom. More recently the events in the Ukraine were similar when an elected government was overthrown with open American involvement in league with some former Ukrainian fascists, but the 1989 demonstrations in China were not only given great coverage then but memorialized with still unsubstantiated death tolls and alleged horrors claimed which rarely if ever mention Chinese troops attacked and beaten to death by mobs of supposedly peaceful demonstrators. While originally claiming thousands killed, more recently the toll has been carefully lowered by some to hundreds, but others still shriek that thousands were murdered by the bloody monsters in China. There is as much evidence for this number of deaths as there is for Iraq’s possession of weapons of mass destruction, Israel’s great suffering at the hands of murderous Palestinians, and the injustice experienced by American women when Trump leaves the toilet seat up.
Widespread belief in these two summer fantasies of history would not last ten minutes in a nation with a truly free press able to widely distribute the stories of what actually took place, what behind the scenes activities played a role in both, and what the outcomes have actually produced. The duplicity and disinformation of much that passes for reality in the hands of stenographers and paid agents for power has led to some not believing anything they are told about anything, which is understandable but only leads to acceptance in often almost as maniacal and far fetched conclusions reached by far too many of us. But at least doubt may cause many to try to look further and find out more of what has really been kept from us and not simply relying on new fables and follies to explain old ones. A place to begin might be these two giant creations of mass mythology that could help us all learn more about the real world rather than the one presented to us by the owners and operators of our supposed democracy .
* James Russell Lowell, amended by frank scott
Published on June 07, 2019 18:48
May 31, 2019
Identity Groups = Market Shares = Class Division
The divide and conquer tactics practiced by minority ruling powers are simply age-old class divisions forced on their majority subjects, but they have become more dangerous as imperial capitalism has entered a most critical period threatening more destruction than ever before. At a time when real global democracy is both more possible and necessary than ever, humanity is split into more sub-divisions than ever, with economic stratification disguised by group identity labels, most totally and a-scientifically as separate races. That is the way authority wants it and why it must be overcome before capitalism's self-destructive roots become total reality and unity is finally achieved only to experience devastation with the belated realization that it is happening to all of us and not just some of us.
The extreme emergency for the human race that has been given the brand name “climate change” and is a result of the compulsive over consumption exercised by perverse market forces under the control of minority private profiteering has been turned over to that same malevolent force for an alleged solution to the problem. This is like solving the problem of humans reduced to renting their bodies for sex by putting pimps in charge of the process. And further assuring that there will be no solution that doesn’t procure more private profits, the professional sex workers seeking liberation will be put into separate groups according to skin tones, religions, sexual sub-categories and any other measures of division to assure that they will not operate as a group confronting the same problems, no matter their alleged differences in how, where and under what circumstances the problems occur.
The threat to humanity’s future by what is called climate change, originating in the nineteenth century at early stages of industrial capitalism and sited as long term danger to humanity by many at the time, has become far more obvious as the fossil fuel-carbon based economic engine of profit has spread further and farther than its European origins to represent a major threat to the future of the human race. This has made minority ruling power created divisions of the majority more important than ever, because in the past it only had to deal with rebellions in one nation at a time even if global philosophy was at their root, but now that capitalism has become a truly and obviously global system the opposition is also worldwide. But most important in the divisions created among us is the diabolically fictional and totally anti-scientific allegations of racial difference that exist to obscure our primary differences which are among economic classes.
The only biological difference in the human race is between male and female and no matter the alleged identity group diversity, humans have had and continue to have no problem at all at mating, pro-creating, or just having recreational sex with one another across all alleged and artificial divides of nations, religions or ethnicity. Tall, short, rotund and thin humans are not separate races except to the tragically misinformed or propaganda barraged believers and the same is true for skin tones and language /cultural differences. All of us have to eat, need clothing and shelter, and are having growing difficulty acquiring these life supports. And as the rich get richer and richer and the world’s population grows poorer as a result, the rumblings of discontent are growing. They need to become an all consuming desire and collective action to transform the environment, both locally but planetary as well, to one that reverses social value systems to first support the public good, and then – and only then - any notion of private profit.
Class society must take precedence over all other subdivisions or things will continue to get better for a relative handful of humans, no matter how allegedly diverse they supposedly are, while it disintegrates physically, socially, spiritually and psychologically, for a growing majority. That majority is vastly more diverse both in numbers and ratios to those enjoying the fruits of private profit growth and over consumption that finds hundred of thousands living in luxury, even if mostly unpaid for and piling up in debt, while hundreds of millions are involved in struggles for survival. These grow more difficult as nature is destroyed for the benefit of a small group doing quite well with war, poverty, injustice, and all the ramifications of imperial power exercised to benefit a small segment of our people, at the expense of the entire planet and the overwhelming majority of our population.
While a tiny minority of a few thousand billionaires exercise power and control over more than seven billion people and the entire global system, the multitudes are propagandized into thinking that generosity and philanthropy on their part will ultimately enrich us all and create a better world. Religious belief may be an opiate for the people, as Marx called it, in order to make an often painful reality tolerable, but human revolution in the material world is the only thing that will bring about a reality that enriches life for all of us and not just some of us, a shrinking group getting wealthier by the second as humanity grows poorer and more endangered in the same time frame.
Relying on rich people to endow colleges and museums, build hospitals, create housing and more, while assuring them massive tax deductions for their generosity, has gone beyond the tolerable and like all else that passes for reality, amounts to accepting individual acts of decency that create social acts of degeneracy in perpetuating rather than ending the system that makes such acts necessary. Even when a billionaire “of color”, to use presently acceptable racist language, pays the student loans of a graduating class at a men’s university of “people of color”, the injustice of economic class is revealed though hardly noticed. The privileged minority that can attend college, in the case of this gift to a privileged sector of the population deemed under-privileged in popular conception, does not benefit the largest group of the community but a minority already beyond the norm for even being able to get the loans to attend. A majority of Americans do not get near a college or university, no matter their skin tones, unless they are making deliveries or cleaning toilets or constructing a new gym or frat house. Did the billionaire practice his generosity by, say, offering to pay the rent of all the “people of color” tenants at a housing project, for a full year? Thereby freeing them far more than the exultant students who would and will certainly be relieved of a sometime staggering financial burden, but as nothing by comparison to the burdens of living in reality working class or near poverty with a future offering more possibility of entering an institution of penal punishment than an institution of higher education? Again and as always, real economic class trumps false alleged race, as it does and will continue to do until we leave our submissive and competing groups and become what we truly are; a race of humans who will not have much of a future, if any, if we do not rise up and create a democracy that works for all of us, and only then allows us to perform at our highest levels within a society of peacefully cooperating individuals, rather than continuing to our possible doom as violently competing near animals.
Published on May 31, 2019 12:37
May 5, 2019
OK, LET'S TALK ABOUT CHARLOTTESVILLE
Ann Coulter
May 1, 2019
So Joe Biden launched his presidential campaign talking about Charlottesville.
This tells us that life is so good for the fabulous people on the coasts -- the only group the Democratic Party really cares about -- that they can afford to devote themselves to crazy fantasies that make them feel morally superior to other people.
The Democratic Party used to be about protecting workers' wages. Now the pitch is: I will suck up more to The New York Times editorial page.
I am in no mood to defend Trump, but the media's wholesale lying about Charlottesville is too much for any sane person to take. Everything the media say about it is the very definition of "fake news."
No human being, dead or alive, has condemned 'white supremacists' more than Trump has. I can't begin to quote all the times he has done so, or this column would be the length of a book.
Within the first hour of the melee, the #Resist geniuses were already blaming Trump for the mere existence of white supremacists and neo-Nazis. It kind of looks like Trump was going to be called a Nazi no matter what he did.
At 10 a.m. on Aug. 12, 2017, Rosie O'Donnell tweeted a photo of Nazi flags at the rally with the comment: THE TRUMP EFFECT #25thAmendmentNow #stopTRUMP"
Soon thereafter, Rob Reiner tweeted: "Let's be clear. The hatred we're seeing in Virginia lies at the feet of Donald Trump. Stoked during the campaign, his silence condones this."
Alyssa Milano tweeted at 11:59 a.m." "Hey, you going to comment on this, @realdonaldtrump? #AltReich"
Trump was a Nazi because some of the people who hate him managed to get on Twitter a few hours before he did that day. (He was golfing.)
Around 1 p.m., Trump began tweeting about Charlottesville, saying, among other things:
"We ALL must be united & condemn all that hate stands for. There is no place for this kind of violence in America. Let's come together as one!"
"We must remember this truth: No matter our color, creed, religion or political party, we are ALL AMERICANS FIRST."
The actresses said: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! (Sarah Silverman: "This is on-purpose vague bc ur a wimp that stands 4 nothing ...")
Trump's statements were a lot more condemnatory than any Obama statements on either the Dallas cop-killer or the Muslim who murdered 13 people at Fort Hood.
Obama, two days after a black supremacist gunned down five policemen during a BLM protest against the police: "I think it's very hard to untangle the motives of this shooter."
Obama, the day after the massacre at Fort Hood with an assailant shouting "Allahu Akbar!" : "I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts."
Back to Trump's shockingly inadequate response to violence in Charlottesville. Later that day, the president reiterated the color-or-creed point and condemned the "hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides."
Then we were off to the races! He said MANY SIDES. Q.E.D. He's a Nazi.
That's when twits like Marco Rubio and Mitt Romney said: Wrong! On one side were FASCISTS, and on the other, anti-fascists, who are pure of heart and cute as little puppies ... as they beat the crap out of college conservatives.
New York Times reporter Sheryl Gay Stolberg, reporting from the ground in Charlottesville, had tweeted: "The hard left seemed as hate filled as alt-right. I saw club-wielding 'antifa' beating white nationalists being led out of the park."
Trump was a monster for seeing the same antifa violence that a New York Times reporter saw. (The left went mental on Stolberg, so she deleted that tweet. Reality must not be allowed to interfere with the media's lies!)
Two days later, Trump held a press conference on Charlottesville expressly to denounce neo-Nazis and white supremacists for the billion-and-oneth time: "Racism is evil. And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans."
The following day at a press conference on infrastructure, the press had about two questions on that topic and dozens of accusatory statements on Charlottesville.
--"Let me ask you, Mr. President, why did you wait so long to blast neo-Nazis?"
(It's been nearly a decade since a Muslim shot up Fort Hood in Texas and we're still waiting for Obama to "blast" Nidal Malik Hasan.)
--"Why do Nazis like you?"
(Was Obama ever asked why cop-killers liked him?)
The rest of the reporters' questions were more in the nature of "statements":
Q: Nazis were there. Q: David Duke was there. Q: The neo-Nazis started this.
In a press conference that was -- again -- on infrastructure, Trump spent paragraph after paragraph -- more than 200 words -- denouncing white supremacists and neo-Nazis. He condemned "hatred" and"bigotry," called the driver of the car that killed Heather Heyer a "murderer," and repeatedly said "the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists" were "very bad people."
But he also said: "Not all of those people were white supremacists by any stretch. Those people were also there because they wanted to protest the taking down of a statute of Robert E. Lee."
Trump clearly distinguished between the people "protesting very quietly the taking down of the statue of Robert E. Lee" and - "the bad ones" -- the "neo-Nazis, white nationalists, whatever you want to call them."
"You had people -- and I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists, because they should be condemned totally. But you had many people in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists. OK? And the press has treated them absolutely unfairly.
"Now, in the other group also, you had some fine people. But you also had troublemakers, and you see them come with the black outfits and with the helmets, and with the baseball bats. You had a lot of bad people in the other group."
Actual question from a reporter: "Sir, I just didn't understand what you were saying. You were saying the press has treated white nationalists unfairly?"
That idiocy has now been enshrined as a canonical belief of the Democratic Party, worthy of launching a presidential campaign. Life must be great on the coasts."
COPYRIGHT 2019 ANN COULTER
May 1, 2019
So Joe Biden launched his presidential campaign talking about Charlottesville.
This tells us that life is so good for the fabulous people on the coasts -- the only group the Democratic Party really cares about -- that they can afford to devote themselves to crazy fantasies that make them feel morally superior to other people.
The Democratic Party used to be about protecting workers' wages. Now the pitch is: I will suck up more to The New York Times editorial page.
I am in no mood to defend Trump, but the media's wholesale lying about Charlottesville is too much for any sane person to take. Everything the media say about it is the very definition of "fake news."
No human being, dead or alive, has condemned 'white supremacists' more than Trump has. I can't begin to quote all the times he has done so, or this column would be the length of a book.
Within the first hour of the melee, the #Resist geniuses were already blaming Trump for the mere existence of white supremacists and neo-Nazis. It kind of looks like Trump was going to be called a Nazi no matter what he did.
At 10 a.m. on Aug. 12, 2017, Rosie O'Donnell tweeted a photo of Nazi flags at the rally with the comment: THE TRUMP EFFECT #25thAmendmentNow #stopTRUMP"
Soon thereafter, Rob Reiner tweeted: "Let's be clear. The hatred we're seeing in Virginia lies at the feet of Donald Trump. Stoked during the campaign, his silence condones this."
Alyssa Milano tweeted at 11:59 a.m." "Hey, you going to comment on this, @realdonaldtrump? #AltReich"
Trump was a Nazi because some of the people who hate him managed to get on Twitter a few hours before he did that day. (He was golfing.)
Around 1 p.m., Trump began tweeting about Charlottesville, saying, among other things:
"We ALL must be united & condemn all that hate stands for. There is no place for this kind of violence in America. Let's come together as one!"
"We must remember this truth: No matter our color, creed, religion or political party, we are ALL AMERICANS FIRST."
The actresses said: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! (Sarah Silverman: "This is on-purpose vague bc ur a wimp that stands 4 nothing ...")
Trump's statements were a lot more condemnatory than any Obama statements on either the Dallas cop-killer or the Muslim who murdered 13 people at Fort Hood.
Obama, two days after a black supremacist gunned down five policemen during a BLM protest against the police: "I think it's very hard to untangle the motives of this shooter."
Obama, the day after the massacre at Fort Hood with an assailant shouting "Allahu Akbar!" : "I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts."
Back to Trump's shockingly inadequate response to violence in Charlottesville. Later that day, the president reiterated the color-or-creed point and condemned the "hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides."
Then we were off to the races! He said MANY SIDES. Q.E.D. He's a Nazi.
That's when twits like Marco Rubio and Mitt Romney said: Wrong! On one side were FASCISTS, and on the other, anti-fascists, who are pure of heart and cute as little puppies ... as they beat the crap out of college conservatives.
New York Times reporter Sheryl Gay Stolberg, reporting from the ground in Charlottesville, had tweeted: "The hard left seemed as hate filled as alt-right. I saw club-wielding 'antifa' beating white nationalists being led out of the park."
Trump was a monster for seeing the same antifa violence that a New York Times reporter saw. (The left went mental on Stolberg, so she deleted that tweet. Reality must not be allowed to interfere with the media's lies!)
Two days later, Trump held a press conference on Charlottesville expressly to denounce neo-Nazis and white supremacists for the billion-and-oneth time: "Racism is evil. And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans."
The following day at a press conference on infrastructure, the press had about two questions on that topic and dozens of accusatory statements on Charlottesville.
--"Let me ask you, Mr. President, why did you wait so long to blast neo-Nazis?"
(It's been nearly a decade since a Muslim shot up Fort Hood in Texas and we're still waiting for Obama to "blast" Nidal Malik Hasan.)
--"Why do Nazis like you?"
(Was Obama ever asked why cop-killers liked him?)
The rest of the reporters' questions were more in the nature of "statements":
Q: Nazis were there. Q: David Duke was there. Q: The neo-Nazis started this.
In a press conference that was -- again -- on infrastructure, Trump spent paragraph after paragraph -- more than 200 words -- denouncing white supremacists and neo-Nazis. He condemned "hatred" and"bigotry," called the driver of the car that killed Heather Heyer a "murderer," and repeatedly said "the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists" were "very bad people."
But he also said: "Not all of those people were white supremacists by any stretch. Those people were also there because they wanted to protest the taking down of a statute of Robert E. Lee."
Trump clearly distinguished between the people "protesting very quietly the taking down of the statue of Robert E. Lee" and - "the bad ones" -- the "neo-Nazis, white nationalists, whatever you want to call them."
"You had people -- and I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists, because they should be condemned totally. But you had many people in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists. OK? And the press has treated them absolutely unfairly.
"Now, in the other group also, you had some fine people. But you also had troublemakers, and you see them come with the black outfits and with the helmets, and with the baseball bats. You had a lot of bad people in the other group."
Actual question from a reporter: "Sir, I just didn't understand what you were saying. You were saying the press has treated white nationalists unfairly?"
That idiocy has now been enshrined as a canonical belief of the Democratic Party, worthy of launching a presidential campaign. Life must be great on the coasts."
COPYRIGHT 2019 ANN COULTER
Published on May 05, 2019 18:19
May 3, 2019
Facebook Awakens, Finds Real Menace
Facebook Bans President, Congress, Pentagon, Military Industrial Complex, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Army, Navy, Air Force and Corporate Media For Their Violence and Hate Crimes.
Go-Fuck-Me online group immediately offers aid, raises twelve dollars in first day of fund raising, resolves not to eat or feed pets until Anti-Social media regains its senses.
United Nations breaks out in largest public celebration since the end of World War Two. Representatives of overwhelming global majority dance, sing and give finger to embarrassed American delegation, reduced to hiding under desks while gaining better views of female aides’ legs.
Hillary and husband join with Donald and wife and leap off Empire State Building observation deck in protest. World community rejoices.
Published on May 03, 2019 17:21
Kardashian Announces Entry Into Democratic Primaries
Party leaders excited at celebrity entering competition. “Finally, we’ll have a candidate with a great ass to defeat an asshole of a candidate” said chief party pollster Witless Von Marchado Weiss, who predicted Hillary Clinton would win the election by a landslide but was unaware of the existence of an electoral vote, let alone an electorate.
Party coffers were enriched by several billion dollars in just a few minutes as go-fund-me campaigns began the moment the Kardashians announced that Kim had easily won their family competition to become the most famous non-political personality to ever run for president.
“Ronald Reagan was a retired actor while Kim Kardashian is an entertainer woman of the moment, active online, regularly using and advising cosmetics and cosmetic surgery to America’s feminist population, and the offspring of immigrants, married to a person of color, admired by gays, Jews, Muslims, Communists, Nazis and millions of persons unashamed to identify as Democrats and Republicans. She can’t miss since she’s already got name, face and buttocks recognition among Americans of all walks, runs, trots and crawls of life” said party sage Milhaus Mishuginah Osama. “We are entering a new phase of American history in which powerful rich and famous women with great asses will have more opportunities for achieving success than ever before.”
President Trump indicated he might retire after one term rather than go up against an opponent so clearly more popular in both reality, surreality, fantasy, science fiction and cartoon TV. “ If I run, I might vote for her anyway. I mean the woman has a great ass and she’s even prettier than my wife, or my daughter.”
Published on May 03, 2019 14:13
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