Sera Trevor's Blog, page 2

June 6, 2018

Earthly Pleasures excerpt

I've reached the halfway mark in my next novel, Earthly Pleasures! To celebrate, I've decided to share an excerpt with you. This book contains all of my favorite tropes: enemies to lovers, sex magic, arranged marriage (or bond, in this case), first times, and ugly ducklings, to name a few. This book is also a lot steamier than my other fantasies, so be prepared for some sexy times!

Blurb:
Prince Padriac is a hedonistic degenerate—or at least that’s what his mother and the rest of the royal family think of him, and he’s happy to live down to their expectations. But when the crops of their kingdom start failing, the queen commands that Padriac be joined to Brother Laurel, a monk, in order to combine his royal magic with that of the earth Goddess to bring fertility back to the land. The union is only meant to be temporary, but Brother Laurel is so ugly and prudish that it might as well be an eternity. However, as they get to know one another, Padriac realizes he has misjudged Laurel and finds himself falling for the thoughtful and sensitive monk. The fate of the kingdom relies on their sexual union, but as time goes on, it becomes clear that the fate of their hearts is in jeopardy as well.

Excerpt:
Padriac had just finished his preparations when there was a knock on the door. When Padriac opened it, he found Brother Laurel standing there, dressed once more in the green robes of the acolyte. His expression was grim as usual, but Padriac did not let that deter him.

“Good evening,” he said with his most charming smile. “I’m so glad you’re here. Please, come in.”

Laurel gave his customary reply—nothing at all. He entered the room swiftly, brushing past Padriac with hardly a second glance. Padriac muttered a brief prayer before shutting the door. Since this was all in service of the Goddess, surely She would offer him a little help.

Laurel stood in the middle of the room, frowning at everything. Padriac cleared his throat and gestured toward the sofa. “Why don’t you have a seat and join me for a glass of wine?” Padriac paused as something occurred to him. “You haven’t taken a vow of silence, have you?”

“No,” Laurel said.

“Excellent. Then sit, please.”

Laurel did not move toward the sofa. “Is there somewhere I can disrobe?” he asked instead.

Padriac blinked. This was moving along more rapidly then he had anticipated. “Certainly. There’s a dressing screen to your left there.”

As Laurel got undressed, Padriac settled on the sofa and poured them both a glass of wine. Laurel emerged soon afterward—he was not nude, but dressed in a strange garment. It was like a nightgown, except that the sleeves were long and snug, and it had a button collar that was done up all the way up. It was not the most erotic of garments, but that did not dissuade Padriac. He patted the sofa beside him. “Come, sit. Have a drink.”

“No, thank you.” Laurel headed for the bed and got in under the covers. “Could you put out the candles?”

Padriac frowned. This was not going as planned, but if Laurel wanted to jump right into it, he supposed that he could accommodate him. Perhaps it was best to get their first time over with—it would take the edge off the situation. After all, they had several months together. He snapped his fingers, extinguishing half of candles, before approaching the bed. “Is that better?”

“I meant all of them.”

“But if I put them all out, how am I to see you?”

“I thought seeing me wasn’t something you would want,” Laurel said stiffly.

Ah. So he was still hung up on that. Padriac sat at the edge of the bed. “I know we got off to a somewhat rocky start, and for that, I apologize. You have to understand that I was taken quite by surprise with the whole situation.” He leaned down, only a breath away now. “I am more than happy to have you in my bed.” He went in for a kiss.

And was shoved backward. “No kissing,” Laurel snapped.

Padriac blinked at him in surprise. “What?”

“No kissing, no touching, other than what is strictly necessary. You might be happy to have me in your bed, but the feeling is not mutual. I am not here for pleasure. I am here in service to the Goddess and to the people. So spare me your seduction. Put out the candles and do your duty.”

It was a truly shriveling outburst. Padriac gritted his teeth. He had promised himself he’d be patient, but this was really testing his resolve. With another snap of his fingers, the candles all went out. He removed his dressing gown, taking care first to remove the vial of oil from its pocket, and hung it on the bedpost. Then he got into bed.

But once he was there, he had no idea what on the Goddess’s green earth he was supposed to do. No kissing—he could understand that much. But what constituted “necessary” touching?

Padriac gave his own cock a few strokes, attempting to coax himself into arousal but was only half successful. He slipped his hands under Laurel’s garment. His skin was clammy to the touch. Padriac caressed his thighs before moving upward, brushing a hand over Laurel’s flaccid prick—

Laurel jerked away. “I said no touching!”

“Well, I’m going to do some touching,” Padriac snapped in exasperation. “I can’t just shove my prick in you with no preparation.”

Laurel was quiet for a moment. “All right,” he finally said. “Just don’t-don’t touch me…there. Just where you need to.”

When Padriac resumed, Laurel was shaking. Padriac pulled back and rubbed his face. This wasn’t going to work. His prick had completely wilted; he had never felt less aroused in his entire life. With a snap of his fingers, the candles lit again.

Laurel, whose eyes had been screwed shut, gradually blinked them open. “Why did you stop?”

“We need to talk.” Padriac grabbed his dressing gown and stood. “Come on, get out of bed. Let’s go sit on the sofa, and I’m afraid I must insist this time.”

Once they were both settled on the sofa (or, well, not “settled” precisely, since Laurel only perched at the edge, as if waiting for a moment to flee), Padriac picked up the wine glasses. “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

Laurel shook his. Padriac downed his glass, and Laurel’s too. He rubbed his face again before speaking. “Are you here of your own free will, or have you been coerced?”

Laurel worried the hem of his garment. “No. I mean, yes, I agreed to this. No coercion.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes. I volunteered.”

That surprised Padriac, considering how unhappy he clearly was. “You volunteered? Why?”

“Because my connection with the Goddess is among the strongest anyone’s seen in a century,” he said. “The High Priestess herself said so. How could I say no when such a small sacrifice will save so many lives?”

“A noble sentiment,” Padriac conceded. “But it seems to me that it is not such a small sacrifice for you. You’re terrified.”

“I am not,” Laurel said, some of that earlier ferocity back in his voice. Padriac was glad for it—it was certainly more appealing than the frightened fawn demeanor. “I have pledged myself to the Goddess to do Her work on this earth. I will endure whatever I must to end the famine.”

Padriac felt a headache coming on. He poured himself another glass of wine. “That’s all very well for you, but I’m afraid I won’t be up for such an arrangement, if you catch my meaning.”

Laurel’s cheeks flushed. “All right,” he said quietly with his head bowed. “You can kiss me if you need to.”

Padriac considered him. “No, I don’t think so.”

Laurel looked up, confusion in his eyes. “Then what must I do?”

“Nothing for tonight.” Padriac stood. “I’m going to bed.” He made his way to the bed without looking to see if Laurel was following.

Padriac took off his robe and got in under the covers. With a snap of his fingers, the candles extinguished, leaving the room only dimly lit by the fireplace. After a few minutes, Laurel joined him.

When several more minutes had passed with Padriac saying nothing, Laurel spoke up. “I’m ready,” he said, his voice shaky.

“No, you aren’t. And that’s the issue. I’m not touching you until you are comfortable with this.”

“But I am!” Laurel protested.

Quick as lighting, Padriac rolled onto Laurel, supporting himself with his arms on either side of Laurel as he loomed over him. Laurel cried out in surprise and flinched. Padriac looked down at him grimly. “That’s what I thought.” He moved off of him and lay down with his back to Laurel.

“I’m sorry! I’ll do whatever you want—”

“What I want is to get some sleep. I suggest you do the same.”

“So that’s it then?” Laurel’s voice raised in outrage. “You’re just going to abandon your duties and let all those people starve?”

“I doubt very much that we will end the famine in one night. It can wait.”

Silence fell between them. Padriac thought that that would be the end of it, but then Laurel spoke again. “Everything I’ve heard about you is true. You care nothing for duty— the only thing that matters to you is your own pleasure!”

Padriac wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. Was it a genuine outburst of temper, or an attempt to goad him? He rolled onto him again, taking a wrist in each hand. Laurel didn’t flinch this time; he glared up at him, his face flushed again and his jaw clenched tight, his chest heaving. Interesting. Padriac made a mental note of his reaction.

“I am your prince,” Padriac growled. “And you would do well to remember that before you speak in such a manner to me again. And if you think you can shame me into doing what you want, you’d best think again. It doesn’t work when my brother does it, and he’s the crown prince. It certainly won’t work coming from you.” Padriac released him. “Now go to sleep, or get out. I don’t care which.”

Padriac rolled over and shut his eyes. Laurel remained where he was for a few long moments, but then he got out of bed and made his way to the sofa. Which was fine with Padriac. He sighed. Goodness, what a mess. But it was a mess that could wait until morning.

******
So what did you think? Let me know! I'm so excited for these boys and I hope you are, too. Stay tuned for updates!
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Published on June 06, 2018 16:19

April 27, 2018

My next book!

I'm pleased to officially announce my latest project and the title. Thanks so much to those of you who have provided feedback!

My next book will be...

*drumroll*

Earthly Pleasures

Prince Padric is a hedonistic degenerate—or at least that’s what the rest of the royal family think of him, and he’s happy to live down to their expectations. But when the crops of their kingdom start failing, the queen commands that her son be joined to Brother Laurel, a monk, in order to combine the royal magic of the Sun God with that of the fertility magic of the Moon Goddess. The union is only meant to be temporary, but Brother Laurel is so ugly and prudish that it might as well be an eternity. However, as they get to know one another, Padric realizes he has misjudged Laurell and finds himself falling for the thoughtful and sensitive monk. The fate of the kingdom relies on their sexual union, but as time goes on, it becomes clear that the fate of their hearts is in jeopardy as well.
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Published on April 27, 2018 10:12

April 7, 2018

My next project

It's release day for Consorting with Dragons!
And thanks to everyone who preordered, it premiered at NUMBER ONE in new releases for LGBT Fantasy on Amazon! Seeing that little orange bestseller banner on Amazon was such an amazing feeling -- thank you all so much for your support! And if you haven't had a chance to grab your copy yet, I'll be running a special for $2.99 for the next three days -- be sure to grab it before it goes to full price!

But as exciting as new releases are, I know that I've got to get to work on my next book! I would love your input on which ideas sound appealing to you. I can't control where the muse will take me next, but she'll probably steer me towards ideas that have a lot of interest. ;)

Here are the blurbs for my ideas (the titles are preliminary, obviously). When you're finished reading, go to my website here and scroll down to vote in the poll. Thanks in advance!

Troll Whisperer #2
Noah and Oscar have been married for five years, and now they’ve become parents to an adorable baby girl, with Oscar’s sister serving as a surrogate. Life seems just about perfect, but a sudden illness puts Noah’s sister Rebecca into a coma, which brings Noah’s mother and father back into his life. As they battle for control over the care of Rebecca, Noah must also defend his little family against his bigoted parents. Oscar and the Lozada clan have his back, but only Noah can truly stand up to his parents, once and for all—if he can find the courage to do it.

Sex Magic
Prince Padric is a hedonistic degenerate—or at least that’s what his mother and the rest of the royal family think of him, and he’s happy to live down to their expectations. But when the crops of their kingdom start failing, the queen commands that her son be joined to Brother Laurell, a monk, in order to combine the royal magic of the Sun God with that of the fertility magic of the Moon Goddess. The union is only meant to be temporary, but Brother Laurell is so ugly and prudish that it might as well be an eternity. However, as they get to know one another, Padric realizes he has misjudged Laurell and finds himself falling for the thoughtful and sensitive monk. The fate of the kingdom relies on their sexual union, but as time goes on, it becomes clear that the fate of their hearts is in jeopardy as well.

The Dark One
Edwan carries out the darkest commands of the wicked king of Kazar, who stole him as a child from his home kingdom of Namitus. After Edwan tortures an important prisoner from Namitus to death, the king commands him to magically take the face of the murdered man and return to Namitus as a spy in order to discover the information he failed to extract from his prisoner. Edwan does as he’s told, as always, but he immediately runs into a huge problem—the prisoner was married to the handsome and kind priest Illium, who is overjoyed that his “husband” has returned. The king of Kazar did his best to kill all that was good in Edwan, but Illium is slowly bringing the better side of his nature back to life. When Namitus falls and Illium becomes Edwan’s prisoner, the men are twisted together in a snare that neither of them can escape.

Lost in the Space Jungle!
Dr. Vivek Burman is a genius exobotanist who is very excited to be among the first humans to explore Eden, the mysterious new planet that’s just been discovered in a nearby solar system. Also on the team is Adem Sadik, a no-nonsense (and very sexy) Marine from the Mars colony who is there to ensure the safety of the scientists. When Vivek sneaks off to get an early start on his research, he falls and breaks his leg. Adem comes to his rescue—but the rest of the team mysteriously vanishes. Now the two of them must struggle to survive in an alien jungle. Will they find paradise together, or will Eden be their hell?

Rider Hood and the Wolves of Nod
A year after his parents die in a car accident, Rider Hood decides to hike the Appalachian Trail to reconnect with his roots and maybe find his long lost grandmother. A friendly couple warns him about the strange cult in the remote hills, but Rider did want an adventure, after all. He gets more than he bargained for when he’s attacked by two of the cult members, who seem to turn into…werewolves? He’s saved by Elijah, a man of the woods who claims to be a werewolf, too—an outcast from the town of Nod, where his cursed people have lived for centuries. Elijah refuses to let Rider leave the woods until he’s sure that Rider hasn’t fallen under the curse as well. As far as kidnappers go, Elijah seems like a nice enough guy, but there’s no such thing as werewolves…right? Can Rider escape the woods, or is he stuck with this strange (although admittedly cute) mountain man until the next full moon?

And that's what I've got so far! I also have ideas for Troll Whisperer 3 and a sequel to Consorting with Dragons starring Larely, but those ideas need a little time. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
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Published on April 07, 2018 16:12

March 19, 2018

Consorting with Dragons is up for preorder!

Consorting with Dragons will be released on April 7th, but it's up for preorder now for only $.99! The price will go up once it's published, so I suggest grabbing it now.

Links!

Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Kobo

Also on iBooks, but can't link to that.

I'm very excited, and hope you are too!
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Published on March 19, 2018 09:53

February 21, 2018

Consorting with Dragons is finished!

...and it has a brand new cover by the talented Natasha Snow! I can never get images to work properly on Goodreads, so head over to my website to see it. It's gorgeous!

Way back in 2014, I wrote my debut novella, Consorting with Dragons, for the Goodreads M/M Romance Group’s Don’t Read in the Closet story telling event. While I had spent ten years writing fan fiction, this was my first foray into original work. I had no idea what reception the book would get. The event was very big, with lots of stories by more established authors. And honestly, I was a little disappointed with how it turned out—because there was a strict time limit on how long I had to write the story, the ending was incredibly rushed. I also didn’t have enough time to really dig into the world building and the relationship between Jasen and Rilvor the way I wanted to.

So I was very surprised that Consorting with Dragons was so well-received. It remains my most popular work, with over 900 ratings on Goodreads. It won third place for Best Debut in the Goodreads M/M Romance Group’s annual Reader’s Choice Awards, and people still contact me to tell me how much they enjoyed it. I couldn’t have asked for a better introduction into the world of original m/m romance!

After the event was over, I immediately began plans to expand the original novella to make it the book that I had hoped to write the first time around. I was sure that it would be just a matter of redoing the ending, adding a couple of other scenes, and voila. Surely that would be easy!

Turns out, not so much. However, four years and three books later, I am happy to announce that the expansion of Consorting with Dragons is at last finished! At around 90,000 words, the book is more than twice as long as the original novella. Don’t worry—the core story hasn’t changed, but now there’s more romance and more hijinks! There are several new characters, such as a sinister minister who plots against Jasen, and an old boyfriend who shows up to make trouble. You’ll get to see more of the Allied Realms, including Rilvor’s home country of Rakon, and of course, Grumhul, where you’ll also meet Queen Urga the Unimpressed. There’s a pair of cursed shoes, a ghost, and a grand ball (it is a Cinderella story, after all). I’m really excited for you guys to read it!

But before I can get it to you, it needs some polishing. I’m hoping to publish it mid-to-late March, April at the latest. In the meantime, I’m making the first three chapters available for free. There’s not much new here other than some tweaks to the world-building (gender equality has come to the Allied Realms!), but if it’s been a while since you’ve read it, you might enjoy refreshing your memory. And if you haven’t read it yet, it’s a good intro! You can claim your copy at Instafreebie or Bookfunnel. Let me know if you have any problems, and I'll get it to you directly. My email is seratrevor@gmail.com.

Thanks to everyone for your patience - I know it's been a long wait, but hopefully it will be worth it!
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Published on February 21, 2018 10:54

February 8, 2018

Gentlemen Don't Murder

Hello everyone! I wanted to tell you about my friend Gillian's murder mystery novel, which is now up for consideration at Kindle Scout. It's a vintage detective story with a queer hero. I'm a huge fan of historical novels, but it's really tough to pull off those kinds of stories with LGBT protagonists. She's managed it splendidly, and it's a fanastic mystery to boot.

She's put in up on Kindle Scouts, which is a program to help aspiring authors get a contract with Amazon. In order to make that happen, she needs votes! You can read all about the book and how you can help on her blog. I hope you check it out -- if you like my writing, you will definitely like hers!

PS - I have an announcement about my own project to make soon - hopefully in a day or so. :)
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Published on February 08, 2018 13:04

December 13, 2017

The Charity Shop Rejects Live in Concert

The holiday season is a time of joy...except when it's not!

The Charity Shop Rejects Live in Concert is the third book in Gillian St. Kevern's For the Love of Christmas! series, which includes The Ugliest Sweater and Ibiza on Ice. I highly recommend all of them, but The Charity Shop Rejects also can be read as a stand-alone. The whole series is a laugh riot, but Gillian also includes a lot of the anxiety that can come from "the most wonderful time of the year." This book is the perfect break from the hectic holidays.

Mikaal Sarhadi has been in trouble since the moment he met guitarist Declan Hyde. Declan treats music like religion, setting high standards for himself and his bandmates. Mikaal struggles to even step on stage. He will do anything to justify Declan’s belief in him—even if that means ignoring the powerful attraction between them.

After a chance meeting with Brandon, Declan’s estranged brother, reveals just how much Declan will sacrifice for his music, Mikaal wonders if he can even call himself a musician. Worse, drummer Hiro’s visa application has been denied. With time running out for The Charity Shop Rejects, Mikaal must conquer his stage fright or lose music—and Declan—entirely.


Head on over to my blog where Gillian answers a few questions about ugly clothes, the perils of the holiday season, and how to deal with self-doubt.
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Published on December 13, 2017 10:58

November 27, 2017

How To Foil A Curse

What is a curse?

It’s something dark that hangs over your life. You didn’t ask for it. You don’t deserve it. There is no adequate explanation. Maybe it’s a disease—one that’s devastated you or someone you love. Maybe it’s a shitty childhood, or a dead-end job, or debts you had to take just to keep your head above water. Maybe it’s an accident that changed your life. Maybe it’s a person you shouldn’t have let in, or one who broke in and won’t leave.

Whatever it is, it sucks. And everyone has one.

My curse is a mood disorder. It’s one of the scarier ones—it rhymes with “high roller.” The thing about being a high roller is that mostly, you roll low. Two years ago, I was barely rolling at all. To cheer myself up, I thought it would be funny to write a vampire romance where the mortal is the cynical, brooding character, and the vampire is a total doofus. It got a laugh out of me when I wasn’t doing a whole lot of laughing.

The book, as you have probably determined, became Curses, Foiled Again. Felix is my big, doofy vampire, and John is my brooding mortal. John and I don’t have a lot in common, but we both are on the receiving end of familial curses, and we both have a tendency to be fatalistic about it.

But that’s the thing about curses—the more you brood about them, the worse they get. I wish I could tell you how to break your curse, but most curses can’t be broken. However, I can tell you your curse’s big weakness—it feeds on your energy. It wants it, but it can’t take it. You can move that energy elsewhere.

So I took my energy and made it into a book, and my curse got a little weaker. There’s probably something in your life that deserves your energy more than your curse—find it and nurture it. You can’t break your curse completely – but you can foil it.

Curses, Foiled Again is now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, NineStar, and iBooks.
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Published on November 27, 2017 10:33 Tags: curses, foiled-again

November 20, 2017

Facebook party!

Once Upon a Rainbow, Volume One by Sydney Blackburn

It's release day for Once Upon a Rainbow, a collection of queer takes on classic fairy tales brought to you by NineStar Press. To celebrate release day, the authors in the anthology are hosting a facebook party, and you're all invited! The event can be found here.

I don't have a story in the collection, but I am a NineStar author, and I do love fairy tales, so I'll be hosting one of the time slots. I'll be there for one hour, starting at 7pm EST (4pm PST). So come by to chat, play some games, and maybe win a prize! Hope to see you there!
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Published on November 20, 2017 09:20

November 15, 2017

The Disneyland of Cemeteries

For my 11th wedding anniversary, my husband and I went to a cemetery.

I realize that it probably doesn’t sound like a very romantic date, but it’s tough for us to get a babysitter, so we had to multitask. And I really, really wanted to see this particular cemetery, because it features prominently in my upcoming book, Curses, Foiled Again.

Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California is the final resting place of over 250,000 people, including numerous celebrities. But it’s more than just a cemetery. The park also contains a museum, two mausoleums, and three chapels, which are all replicas of actual historical churches in Europe. (Fun fact: Ronald Regan married his first wife at one of chapels called the Wee Kirk O' The Heather.) (Another fun fact: Yes, that’s really what it’s called.) There’s also the Hall of the Crucifixion-Resurrection, a building constructed for the sole purpose of exhibiting the world’s second largest painting. There are over 1500 statues, ten percent of which are reproductions of works by famous sculptors—the park hosts a complete collection of replicas of Michelangelo’s work. Over a million people visit each year.

All of this is the brainchild of Dr. Hubert Eaton. As an evangelical Christian, he had a strong belief that mortal death marked the beginning of a joyous eternal life in Paradise. Therefore, he felt that cemeteries have no business being gloomy. In 1917, Eaton took over the management of the park and began to implement his vision of a “happy eternal life.” He even laid out his vision in a massive stone monument entitled “the Builder’s Creed,” which states that Forest Lawn will be “as unlike other cemeteries as sunshine is to darkness.” In the Creed, Eaton promises that the park will be “filled with towering trees, sweeping lawns, splashing fountains, singing birds, beautiful statuary, cheerful flowers, noble memorial architecture with interiors full of light and color, and redolent of the world’s best history and romances.” (You can read the whole thing here.) A statue of two children and a puppy look up in awe at the Creed. You can stand right next to them and gape at it yourself. It’s pretty gape-worthy. The Builder’s Creed is not the only monument containing Dr. Eaton’s musings—there are several others, all in stone, which are always signed not as Dr. Eaton, but as The Builder.

So yeah, it’s not your typical cemetery. Have I mentioned it’s a franchise? There are ten Forest Lawn locations.

In Curses, Foiled Again, the cursed witch John has bought a plot here. Without giving away too much, he fully expects to be dead soon, and as a fan of Old Hollywood, he likes the idea of being buried in the same place as many of Hollywood’s brightest stars. Even without the celebrities, though, the appeal of this place is apparent. Eaton definitely achieved his vision. This is the happiest cemetery on earth.

Which is to say, it’s also a little—well, tacky. Or not tacky, exactly—everything is beautiful and meticulously crafted. There’s not a blade of grass out of place. It’s neat and tidy—in other words, not remotely like reality of death. This is death as a Disneyland attraction—in fact, Disney himself is buried here. There’s even music playing from invisible speakers as you walk around the place, just like when you walk down Main Street, USA in Disneyland—a Main Street which doesn’t resemble any actual place, but the dream of a place, an idealized image that’s fun and comforting—but it’s not real.

​That’s the vibe of the place—unreal. I never knew quite how to behave. Could I take pictures there? Cameras were prohibited in the mausoleums, but according to the Builder himself, he wanted Forest Lawn to be “a place where lovers new and old shall love to stroll and watch the sunset’s glow…where artists study and sketch…where school teachers bring happy children to see things they read of in books,” which made me feel like maybe pictures were okay? I mean, this is a cemetery with a gift shop and thirteen-foot high statues of the Founding Fathers. Surely pictures were okay. What I ended up doing was waiting for my husband to give me the all clear sign, and then snapped the pictures.

And there were enough people around that we did have to wait until the coast was clear. Some of them were obviously grieving relatives, but there were a lot of people who looked more like my husband and me, consulting pamphlets over what attraction—er, monument to visit next. The museum was small but still busy—the current exhibition hosted art work by the painter Cao Yong. It was pretty good. We also took in a show at the Hall of the Crucifixion-Resurrection. It turns out that you can’t just go and look at the world’s second-largest painting. It’s a whole presentation that shows on the hour every hour and lasts about twenty minutes. It tells the story of how Dr. Eaton heroically tracked down the painting, which depicts the moments leading up to Christ’s crucifixion. It had been lost for thirty years, tied up in customs when the Polish artist couldn’t pay the tariff. The presentation also explains how Dr. Eaton commissioned the sequel painting, which isn’t quite as big but is still very impressive. And yes, it’s a sequel—it completes the Crucifixion/Resurrection duology, which skips over the actual crucifixion—as has already been established, Forest Lawn is a strictly “No Bummer” zone.

But even as I found the whole spectacle of the place a little disorienting, I have to admit that I enjoyed myself. The park is huge—we ended up spending about three hours there and still didn’t manage to see everything. Every time you thought you’d seen it all, you’d round a corner and find, for example, the Labyrinth, which is described as a “walking path meditation,” or a giant mosaic of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The mausoleums were absolutely gorgeous, filled with beautiful stained glass windows.

And complaining that it all feels “fake” is kind of missing the point. Yes, it’s a little on the gaudy side, but I think the idea of making cemeteries nice places to visit is a good one. I’m not a Christian, so the reassurances of a glorious life after death weren’t particularly relevant to me, but both my husband and I agreed that celebrating the lives of people who have passed is a better way to honor their memoires than dwelling on the fact that they’re dead. It was weirdly nice way to spend the afternoon. And whether you believe in the “happy eternal life” or, like in my case, “YOLO,” it serves as a good reminder of both.

You can view my pictures of Forest Lawn over at my blog here.
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Published on November 15, 2017 10:08 Tags: curses, foiled-again