Jason Haskins's Blog, page 50
February 5, 2015
Jimmy Fallon Does it Again
In his time hosting The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon has found the best way to acquire and entertain viewers is his nostalgia for the 90's. Sure, he has the Lip Sync Battles, Epic Rap Battles, and a few other bits that have piqued my interest. It is his love for Saved by the Bell that keeps me following him on Twitter. A deep, passionate love for Saved by the Bell is probably the only thing Fallon and I have in common. Well, that and we're both handsome. Oh, and that scene in Fever Pitch where Fallon is watching the Buckner video is also a favorite of mine.
Without further adieu:
Video via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
I, for one, love that so many episodes were crammed into this 8 min video. Not necessarily through dialogue, but also through posters on the wall. "No Hope with Dope" "Save the Max" and a poster for the rafting trip were my favorites.
It made me want to go watch all the episodes. I used to get my fix over at E! during the weekdays. Of course, they decided 4 hours or more a day of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (or a variation of) was much better to air. I guess their target audience doesn't consist of 36 year-old writers who still dream of going to Bayside High.
Hopefully they have seen the error of their ways and return Saved by the Bell to the airwaves immediately.
Oh yeah, five seconds in and this was already better than the movie they made on Lifetime.
Thanks Jimmy. Now, if you can get the original cast of Hang Time back together my life would be complete and I would promise to watch you every night. For at least a year.
Without further adieu:
Video via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
I, for one, love that so many episodes were crammed into this 8 min video. Not necessarily through dialogue, but also through posters on the wall. "No Hope with Dope" "Save the Max" and a poster for the rafting trip were my favorites.
It made me want to go watch all the episodes. I used to get my fix over at E! during the weekdays. Of course, they decided 4 hours or more a day of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (or a variation of) was much better to air. I guess their target audience doesn't consist of 36 year-old writers who still dream of going to Bayside High.
Hopefully they have seen the error of their ways and return Saved by the Bell to the airwaves immediately.
Oh yeah, five seconds in and this was already better than the movie they made on Lifetime.
Thanks Jimmy. Now, if you can get the original cast of Hang Time back together my life would be complete and I would promise to watch you every night. For at least a year.
February 3, 2015
A Quick Recap of All Things Jason
I'm a liar. I'll announce that right off the bat. This will not involve everything about Jason. The following will only recap the writing aspect of my life. The moral of this story: Don't believe all the headlines you read.
It's been a few months so I'll cut right to the chase. You're welcome.
In early January, I was able to start writing (on a volunteer basis) for a website focusing on the Boston sports scene. Chowder and Champions is the name of the website. You can also like them on Facebook if you'd like to keep up-to-date with your favorite Boston team.
My third full length play, The Latitude of Life, received a reading with HomeGrown Theatre. Very thankful for the opportunity and received some much needed feedback.
Of course, I am still writing with Bronco Nation News. All the football and basketball news that's fit to... well, what we all have time to write. Signing day is fast approaching and the basketball team is on a roll so there's been plenty to write about recently.
"The Dragon Princess" is still being shopped to agents and publishers. It is still available to download. It's also hanging out on Goodreads.com. Go check it out and give it a read today if you haven't already. (Or write a review if you've read it. A good one or bad one. Feedback is appreciated.)
I did finally finish the first draft of a screenplay, Kings without Castles. Took over 10 years, but it finally happened over Christmas.
Other than that, busy submitting short stories and my full length plays, Solace and Poison.
Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy February and hopefully some warmer weather!
It's been a few months so I'll cut right to the chase. You're welcome.
In early January, I was able to start writing (on a volunteer basis) for a website focusing on the Boston sports scene. Chowder and Champions is the name of the website. You can also like them on Facebook if you'd like to keep up-to-date with your favorite Boston team.
My third full length play, The Latitude of Life, received a reading with HomeGrown Theatre. Very thankful for the opportunity and received some much needed feedback.
Of course, I am still writing with Bronco Nation News. All the football and basketball news that's fit to... well, what we all have time to write. Signing day is fast approaching and the basketball team is on a roll so there's been plenty to write about recently.
"The Dragon Princess" is still being shopped to agents and publishers. It is still available to download. It's also hanging out on Goodreads.com. Go check it out and give it a read today if you haven't already. (Or write a review if you've read it. A good one or bad one. Feedback is appreciated.)
I did finally finish the first draft of a screenplay, Kings without Castles. Took over 10 years, but it finally happened over Christmas.
Other than that, busy submitting short stories and my full length plays, Solace and Poison.
Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy February and hopefully some warmer weather!
January 26, 2015
WWE Royal Rumble KO's Minds, Fans Revolt
Tonight I am going to delve into a subject I've never really discussed here before. I've tackled current events, pop culture, sports, and writing over my years on this blog. Tonight, I go forth and discuss the hot topic that's burrowing in everyone's mind: The 2015 WWW Royal Rumble.
*Warning: The following is a 36 year old man's take on a scripted show in which grown men (and women) wrestle for entertainment. Judge away.
I'm not here to dissect all of the matches of this Pay-Per-View event. I'm here to look at the Royal Rumble match itself and the fallout from the result.
At this point, wrestling fans are well aware that Roman Reigns won the Royal Rumble. This victory has guaranteed Reigns a shot at the title at Wrestlemania 31 against Brock Lesnar.
Reigns has been a fan favorite up until recently. Fans still like him, but their enjoyment has waned in recent months. As the WWE is sports entertainment, character development and charisma on the mic are very valuable in the WWE. In some fans eyes, this is where Reigns has displayed recent shortcomings.
Daniel Bryan is loved by many of the WWE fans. He is the creator of the "Yes" Movement and fans chant emphatically behind all of his appearances. Bryan was one of the favorites to win the Rumble before the event started.
If you are not a wrestling fan and still reading this, I applaud you.
The Royal Rumble took place in Philadelphia this year. That's very important because fans at live events in this city can be very unforgiving, especially for their own teams.
Daniel Bryan was the tenth wrestler (out of 30, for the not-so-inclined). Even if he did not win, fans believed they were in for a long night of their favorite wrestler battling in the ring. They were not. He put in some solid time in the ring, but was eliminated before the 16th wrestler even entered.
The fans revolted, proceeding to boo for what remained of the entirety of that match. They chanted "Yes", the booed, the chanted for CM Punk, who has been gone from the company for a year. They were not happy. Even when Reigns, a supposed good guy, won, the crowd only gave a brief applause followed by louder boos.
Fans cancelled their WWE Network subscription ($9.99 a month). Fans took to Twitter and the internet to express their outrage. They were having none of it. Their favorite wrestler did not win or did not make it far in the event. They were mad. Why? All because the television show they like simply didn't go the way they wanted.
I get it. I do. Let me pose this to you: When you go to a sporting event to root for your favorite team, do you disavow allegiance to them and stop following them/watching their games? Okay, yes, but that only usually last for a few days. Then you're right back to rooting for them.
I understand people pay for a subscription to this network so they feel they have entitlement to get what they want. To an extent, they are correct in their thinking. There should be able to get what they desire once in awhile. They got that last year, when Bryan finally won the championship. Of course, they brought the fans along for the ride, keeping them interested until the cash cow that is Wrestlemania.
As consumers, these fans have the right to come and go as they please. Here's one thing to remember, though: It's sports entertainment. It's a scripted show. Without surprises in story lines and matches, what would keep the majority of people coming back for more? Yes, disappointment will happen, but when hasn't that happened in a t.v show? A character you love dies, a character you love isn't shown on an episode, a character you love makes bad choices but totally redeems himself later and you still return to see what happens next.
If a company gives the majority of fans what they want every single time, that's not interesting. It's not compelling and after awhile, the product becomes bland and more people tune out.
Chances are, the entire Royal Rumble is in the early part of a larger story line. It's a long road to the grand daddy of them all, Wrestlemania, and we all know stories change and grow during the build up.
I was disappointed that Bryan didn't last longer. His elimination caught me off guard, yes, but to me that just makes me yearn to see what they have in store for him. Maybe it will fail and they'll take us down a road no one wants to see at the moment. (i.e. Kane). Let's hope not, but as of now, all opportunities are on the table.
Bryan losing so early did not ruin my experience. As a fan, I understand that there were 30 men in this event. Only one can win. It just so happens the most deserving character may have lost. Fans, you know this, but it's not reason to cry. I understand a young kid crying when his favorite wrestler is facing overwhelming odds, but he's a kid. He's young enough to still believe in the magic and fantasy of it all.
It's not, though. It's not real life. It's a television show with athletes doubling as actors with a creative team scripting story lines. It's a television show that can be entertaining, drab, dull, crazy, and funny all in the same night. Get over it. Watch it or not but just remember these athletes are out their working for your entertainment. In the end, the main event may have let you down, but that title match was worth it, wasn't it?
If you ask me, we need more of Dean Ambrose anyway.
And Mr. Reigns, don't worry about those booing fans in Philadelphia. They once booed Santa Claus. If I must say, that puts you in pretty decent company.
*Warning: The following is a 36 year old man's take on a scripted show in which grown men (and women) wrestle for entertainment. Judge away.
I'm not here to dissect all of the matches of this Pay-Per-View event. I'm here to look at the Royal Rumble match itself and the fallout from the result.
At this point, wrestling fans are well aware that Roman Reigns won the Royal Rumble. This victory has guaranteed Reigns a shot at the title at Wrestlemania 31 against Brock Lesnar.
Reigns has been a fan favorite up until recently. Fans still like him, but their enjoyment has waned in recent months. As the WWE is sports entertainment, character development and charisma on the mic are very valuable in the WWE. In some fans eyes, this is where Reigns has displayed recent shortcomings.
Daniel Bryan is loved by many of the WWE fans. He is the creator of the "Yes" Movement and fans chant emphatically behind all of his appearances. Bryan was one of the favorites to win the Rumble before the event started.
If you are not a wrestling fan and still reading this, I applaud you.
The Royal Rumble took place in Philadelphia this year. That's very important because fans at live events in this city can be very unforgiving, especially for their own teams.
Daniel Bryan was the tenth wrestler (out of 30, for the not-so-inclined). Even if he did not win, fans believed they were in for a long night of their favorite wrestler battling in the ring. They were not. He put in some solid time in the ring, but was eliminated before the 16th wrestler even entered.
The fans revolted, proceeding to boo for what remained of the entirety of that match. They chanted "Yes", the booed, the chanted for CM Punk, who has been gone from the company for a year. They were not happy. Even when Reigns, a supposed good guy, won, the crowd only gave a brief applause followed by louder boos.
Fans cancelled their WWE Network subscription ($9.99 a month). Fans took to Twitter and the internet to express their outrage. They were having none of it. Their favorite wrestler did not win or did not make it far in the event. They were mad. Why? All because the television show they like simply didn't go the way they wanted.
I get it. I do. Let me pose this to you: When you go to a sporting event to root for your favorite team, do you disavow allegiance to them and stop following them/watching their games? Okay, yes, but that only usually last for a few days. Then you're right back to rooting for them.
I understand people pay for a subscription to this network so they feel they have entitlement to get what they want. To an extent, they are correct in their thinking. There should be able to get what they desire once in awhile. They got that last year, when Bryan finally won the championship. Of course, they brought the fans along for the ride, keeping them interested until the cash cow that is Wrestlemania.
As consumers, these fans have the right to come and go as they please. Here's one thing to remember, though: It's sports entertainment. It's a scripted show. Without surprises in story lines and matches, what would keep the majority of people coming back for more? Yes, disappointment will happen, but when hasn't that happened in a t.v show? A character you love dies, a character you love isn't shown on an episode, a character you love makes bad choices but totally redeems himself later and you still return to see what happens next.
If a company gives the majority of fans what they want every single time, that's not interesting. It's not compelling and after awhile, the product becomes bland and more people tune out.
Chances are, the entire Royal Rumble is in the early part of a larger story line. It's a long road to the grand daddy of them all, Wrestlemania, and we all know stories change and grow during the build up.
I was disappointed that Bryan didn't last longer. His elimination caught me off guard, yes, but to me that just makes me yearn to see what they have in store for him. Maybe it will fail and they'll take us down a road no one wants to see at the moment. (i.e. Kane). Let's hope not, but as of now, all opportunities are on the table.
Bryan losing so early did not ruin my experience. As a fan, I understand that there were 30 men in this event. Only one can win. It just so happens the most deserving character may have lost. Fans, you know this, but it's not reason to cry. I understand a young kid crying when his favorite wrestler is facing overwhelming odds, but he's a kid. He's young enough to still believe in the magic and fantasy of it all.
It's not, though. It's not real life. It's a television show with athletes doubling as actors with a creative team scripting story lines. It's a television show that can be entertaining, drab, dull, crazy, and funny all in the same night. Get over it. Watch it or not but just remember these athletes are out their working for your entertainment. In the end, the main event may have let you down, but that title match was worth it, wasn't it?
If you ask me, we need more of Dean Ambrose anyway.
And Mr. Reigns, don't worry about those booing fans in Philadelphia. They once booed Santa Claus. If I must say, that puts you in pretty decent company.
January 15, 2015
Lochlyn Munro: An Actor's Spolight
In lieu of today's Oscar nominations, its time to take a look at an under appreciated actor of our time. With a career spanning nearly thirty years, this actor has appeared in both film and television. He has worked with heavyweights such as Will Ferrell, Tom Everett Scott, Anna Farris, Josh Duhamel, and Huey Lewis. This man's name: Lochlyn Munro.
Now, some of you might be staring at this photo thinking, "who the hell is this guy?" Or maybe you're saying to yourself, "I've seen this guy before but I've never known his name. Thank you Jason."
Munro's career began shortly after an injury derailed his hockey career. Looking for a new outlet, Munro settled on the very stable profession of acting. He soon began working in television, appearing on such shows as 21 Jump Street, Wiseguy, and even an episode of Blossom.
After a decade of steady work, Munro signed onto co-star in a feature film in hopes of transitioning a career in super stardom. In 1998, along with the likes of Tom Everett Scott, Mark Paul Gosselaar, and Poppy Montgomery, Munro starred in Dead Man on Campus. With such a collection of young talent on board, this movie was destined to be a comedy classic.
It was not. Critics panned the film and success was not to be had. (More on this later).
Though the film was box office poison, Munro's career was not. The same year he acted along Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan in Night at the Roxbury. These two were very hot comedic properties at the time and Munro was able to capitalize upon that.
The Wayans brothers took notice of Munro. He was not only cast in Scary Movie, Munro was brought back years later to play Agent Jake Harper in the movie White Chicks. Thus, his status as a Wayans brother player was cemented.
Munro also returned to television, appearing in seven episodes of Charmed. He also was lucky enough to act opposite James Caan in an episode of Las Vegas.
In fact, Munro has been a key guest star on many t.v. shows. The people at CBS love him the most, giving him parts in 2 different CSI spinoffs, NCIS, JAG, Hawaii Five-O, and Without a Trace, to name a few.
Enough about his
5. Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story (2012)- "Bobby Hull"
Mr. Munro was lucky enough to return to the rink for this inspirational story of Gordie Howe. Though Munro did not get to play Howe, he was lucky enough to bring his hockey skills (and acting chops!) to the character of Bobby Hull. Bobby Hull's career spanned almost 25 years. Over his NHL career, Hull had 610 goals and 560 assists. Hull was a two-time winner of the Hart Memorial Trophy and produced offspring that would also play in the NHL.
4. White Chicks (2004)- "Agent Jake Harper"
Munro gives a nuanced performance as Agent Jake Harper. It can be difficult to act against comedy stalwarts Shawn and Marlon Wayans, but Munro is able to give a commanding performance as a bumbling FBI agent. In fact, it is a performance that would make even Uta Hagen proud.
3. Sliders (1996)- "Billy the Kid"
There's not a lot I can say about this. I'm still speechless that Sliders went off the air. I'm speechless at Munro's one episode performance. Speechless.
2. Duets (2000)- Ronny Jackson
The karaoke movie to end all karaoke movies. Paul Giamatti, Andre Braugher, Maria Bello, and Gwyneth Paltrow all star alongside Munro in this movie. Munro begins the movie with a powerful rendition of Billy Vera's "At this Moment". The audience of ten people at this showing 15 years ago were silenced and awed at Munro's talent. He could have easily carried this movie as the main character. Only Braugher is able to match Munro's singing talent and it can be surmised that he simply copied Munro's performance. Then Huey Lewis shows up... Let's just say Munro deserves much more than to lose to a karaoke ringer like Lewis.
1. Dead Man on Campus (1998)- Cliff
"My name is Cliff, brother of Joe. I got me some crack. I want me some hoes."
Munro is Cliff, a loose cannon of a frat brother. He is the best and most underrated part of this movie. Manic energy. A delight. Munro is comic gold, laying waste to all frat boy performances before him. And ruining frat boy performances of the future. Go see this movie. I no longer own a VHS copy, but if I did, I would lend it to you in a heart beat.
Mr. Lochlyn Munro: An acting legend. An icon. A superstar? No. Just a man that shows up and goes to work. With nothing less than ten projects set to be released in 2015, how can you not appreciate that?
Now, some of you might be staring at this photo thinking, "who the hell is this guy?" Or maybe you're saying to yourself, "I've seen this guy before but I've never known his name. Thank you Jason."
Munro's career began shortly after an injury derailed his hockey career. Looking for a new outlet, Munro settled on the very stable profession of acting. He soon began working in television, appearing on such shows as 21 Jump Street, Wiseguy, and even an episode of Blossom.
After a decade of steady work, Munro signed onto co-star in a feature film in hopes of transitioning a career in super stardom. In 1998, along with the likes of Tom Everett Scott, Mark Paul Gosselaar, and Poppy Montgomery, Munro starred in Dead Man on Campus. With such a collection of young talent on board, this movie was destined to be a comedy classic.
It was not. Critics panned the film and success was not to be had. (More on this later).
Though the film was box office poison, Munro's career was not. The same year he acted along Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan in Night at the Roxbury. These two were very hot comedic properties at the time and Munro was able to capitalize upon that.
The Wayans brothers took notice of Munro. He was not only cast in Scary Movie, Munro was brought back years later to play Agent Jake Harper in the movie White Chicks. Thus, his status as a Wayans brother player was cemented.
Munro also returned to television, appearing in seven episodes of Charmed. He also was lucky enough to act opposite James Caan in an episode of Las Vegas.
In fact, Munro has been a key guest star on many t.v. shows. The people at CBS love him the most, giving him parts in 2 different CSI spinoffs, NCIS, JAG, Hawaii Five-O, and Without a Trace, to name a few.
Enough about his
5. Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story (2012)- "Bobby Hull"
Mr. Munro was lucky enough to return to the rink for this inspirational story of Gordie Howe. Though Munro did not get to play Howe, he was lucky enough to bring his hockey skills (and acting chops!) to the character of Bobby Hull. Bobby Hull's career spanned almost 25 years. Over his NHL career, Hull had 610 goals and 560 assists. Hull was a two-time winner of the Hart Memorial Trophy and produced offspring that would also play in the NHL.
4. White Chicks (2004)- "Agent Jake Harper"
Munro gives a nuanced performance as Agent Jake Harper. It can be difficult to act against comedy stalwarts Shawn and Marlon Wayans, but Munro is able to give a commanding performance as a bumbling FBI agent. In fact, it is a performance that would make even Uta Hagen proud.
3. Sliders (1996)- "Billy the Kid"
There's not a lot I can say about this. I'm still speechless that Sliders went off the air. I'm speechless at Munro's one episode performance. Speechless.
2. Duets (2000)- Ronny Jackson
The karaoke movie to end all karaoke movies. Paul Giamatti, Andre Braugher, Maria Bello, and Gwyneth Paltrow all star alongside Munro in this movie. Munro begins the movie with a powerful rendition of Billy Vera's "At this Moment". The audience of ten people at this showing 15 years ago were silenced and awed at Munro's talent. He could have easily carried this movie as the main character. Only Braugher is able to match Munro's singing talent and it can be surmised that he simply copied Munro's performance. Then Huey Lewis shows up... Let's just say Munro deserves much more than to lose to a karaoke ringer like Lewis.
1. Dead Man on Campus (1998)- Cliff
"My name is Cliff, brother of Joe. I got me some crack. I want me some hoes."
Munro is Cliff, a loose cannon of a frat brother. He is the best and most underrated part of this movie. Manic energy. A delight. Munro is comic gold, laying waste to all frat boy performances before him. And ruining frat boy performances of the future. Go see this movie. I no longer own a VHS copy, but if I did, I would lend it to you in a heart beat.
Mr. Lochlyn Munro: An acting legend. An icon. A superstar? No. Just a man that shows up and goes to work. With nothing less than ten projects set to be released in 2015, how can you not appreciate that?
January 7, 2015
Tan Daddy
I recently submitted the following piece to a short fiction contest.
Though I did not win or place, I was given special notice for two words that appear in the story.
The Boise Weekly sure got my hopes up when I saw the title of my story in their headline.
Onto the next one. An opportunity at every corner.
For now, a story:
"The man with shaded glasses lights a cigarette that dangles from his chapped lips. The morning sun beats down upon his bald head as he reaches for his breakfast. He grabs the can of Pabst, the condensation cooling his frail hands. He drinks slowly. The man judges the long days by empty beer cans, not by minutes or hours. Leathery, sun kissed skin provides a tough exterior, guarding the memories of a forgotten life. Memories buried under what used to be very pale skin and a loud soul. Tan Daddy is his name. For the day, the neighborhood is his."
Though I did not win or place, I was given special notice for two words that appear in the story.
The Boise Weekly sure got my hopes up when I saw the title of my story in their headline.
Onto the next one. An opportunity at every corner.
For now, a story:
"The man with shaded glasses lights a cigarette that dangles from his chapped lips. The morning sun beats down upon his bald head as he reaches for his breakfast. He grabs the can of Pabst, the condensation cooling his frail hands. He drinks slowly. The man judges the long days by empty beer cans, not by minutes or hours. Leathery, sun kissed skin provides a tough exterior, guarding the memories of a forgotten life. Memories buried under what used to be very pale skin and a loud soul. Tan Daddy is his name. For the day, the neighborhood is his."
January 3, 2015
Clickbait and First Thoughts.
First off, Happy 2015!
Recently, during the NCAA playoff game between Ohio St. and Alabama, a young woman was caught on camera seemingly doing something wrong. For those of you unaware of what I'm talking about, take a quick look here.
Now, I did not see this initially during the game. I saw it floating around the internet the following day and decided to see what all the fuss was about.
First off, I had no idea what a "sidepiece" was and this word was dominating many of the headlines. After some reading of comments and after watching the video, I was made aware that the word "sidepiece" is referring to the person that is not your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Okay, a few things about this. One, I must be getting old and/or need to visit urban dictionary more. I've heard of "getting a little piece" on the side. It seems society has just turned that around. Makes sense, I guess. Of course, part of me was also looking for a gun of some sorts, as I have heard that called a "sidepiece" once or twice before. I watched this video many times looking for those things.
My main focus, before even reading the article and it's accompanying comments, is that this young lady takes something off the man's back and coyly places it in her mouth. This is the first thing in the video that caught my eye. At no point in this video did I believe she was guilty of anything besides secretly trying to eat something she found on her boyfriend's back. She had the look of a young child that was trying to get away with eating a booger.
Which leads me to the point of selling articles and the thousands of people that had the first instinct to assume this girl was guilty of cheating on her boyfriend with this other guy at the game. To me, at no point does she look guilty of being caught on t.v.in a compromising situation. She doesn't try to hide or quickly back away from this guy. Yet, that's where many readers minds went to. Even after it has been confirmed that this gentleman is her boyfriend (or "mainpiece", for the youth out there).
Why do we do this? The same reason the headlines had the word "sidepiece" in them. It sells. It gets people to click on articles and videos that will often disappear after a few days and vanish into the pantheon that is the internet. People have begun to assume the worst about society and the internet takes advantage of that. We are presented with headlines that often don't have an article that is remotely related to the headline. All for the profit of "clicks" and "likes" and "shares".
Sure, it's a funny little clip. People have turned into being funny for all the wrong reasons, though. All I want to know is what she places in her mouth at the end of the video. The girl in the upper left is watching the entire thing take place.
The Zapruder film, it is not. With it still being discussed on the internet a few days after the fact, I figured I'd weigh in my two cents. That's what the internet is for. Weighing in two cents all for the click price of one. Assuming the worst while passing over the truth. Maybe I'm just as guilty for even discussing this piece of "news" that is currently trending.
And yet, all I want to know is this: What exactly did this young lady eat off of this young man's neck?
I suppose we'll leave that up to the historians of our future...
Recently, during the NCAA playoff game between Ohio St. and Alabama, a young woman was caught on camera seemingly doing something wrong. For those of you unaware of what I'm talking about, take a quick look here.
Now, I did not see this initially during the game. I saw it floating around the internet the following day and decided to see what all the fuss was about.
First off, I had no idea what a "sidepiece" was and this word was dominating many of the headlines. After some reading of comments and after watching the video, I was made aware that the word "sidepiece" is referring to the person that is not your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Okay, a few things about this. One, I must be getting old and/or need to visit urban dictionary more. I've heard of "getting a little piece" on the side. It seems society has just turned that around. Makes sense, I guess. Of course, part of me was also looking for a gun of some sorts, as I have heard that called a "sidepiece" once or twice before. I watched this video many times looking for those things.
My main focus, before even reading the article and it's accompanying comments, is that this young lady takes something off the man's back and coyly places it in her mouth. This is the first thing in the video that caught my eye. At no point in this video did I believe she was guilty of anything besides secretly trying to eat something she found on her boyfriend's back. She had the look of a young child that was trying to get away with eating a booger.
Which leads me to the point of selling articles and the thousands of people that had the first instinct to assume this girl was guilty of cheating on her boyfriend with this other guy at the game. To me, at no point does she look guilty of being caught on t.v.in a compromising situation. She doesn't try to hide or quickly back away from this guy. Yet, that's where many readers minds went to. Even after it has been confirmed that this gentleman is her boyfriend (or "mainpiece", for the youth out there).
Why do we do this? The same reason the headlines had the word "sidepiece" in them. It sells. It gets people to click on articles and videos that will often disappear after a few days and vanish into the pantheon that is the internet. People have begun to assume the worst about society and the internet takes advantage of that. We are presented with headlines that often don't have an article that is remotely related to the headline. All for the profit of "clicks" and "likes" and "shares".
Sure, it's a funny little clip. People have turned into being funny for all the wrong reasons, though. All I want to know is what she places in her mouth at the end of the video. The girl in the upper left is watching the entire thing take place.
The Zapruder film, it is not. With it still being discussed on the internet a few days after the fact, I figured I'd weigh in my two cents. That's what the internet is for. Weighing in two cents all for the click price of one. Assuming the worst while passing over the truth. Maybe I'm just as guilty for even discussing this piece of "news" that is currently trending.
And yet, all I want to know is this: What exactly did this young lady eat off of this young man's neck?
I suppose we'll leave that up to the historians of our future...
December 24, 2014
A Christmas Greeting
The Eve of Christmas will always have a special place in my heart.
Christmas Eve mass, the chili dinner, the anticipation of tearing into those gifts that were sitting under the freshly cut pine tree. The sleepless nights awaiting Santa's arrival.
Philip Rivers waving good-bye to the Broncos, the makeshift Christmas with the never ending ham, and a night of excitement in a North Hollywood bar.
These are only a few among many.
Today, that childhood wonderment and excitement is as ever present as it was when I was eight years old.
No particular reason, mind you. Perhaps it is an eternal optimism that I will always carry with me.
This is not only the season of miracles, but a season to spread joy, kindness, and love.
We may do that with gifts. We may do that with donations. We may do that with a simple phone call.
Tell a loved one how you feel. Say hi to a stranger. Buy a beer for a friend.
This year has been a year of peaks and valley. I have enjoyed the peaks and embraced the valleys. Without the valleys, life would simply be too boring.
A self published fantasy novel. A new play. New writing opportunities. Seeing old friends. 3 trips to Nevada, including my first Thanksgiving with my parents and brother for the first time in 14 years.
Rejection letters, lost romances, and deteriorating friendships. Health scares for family members and friends alike. Career changes. All part of the ride that was 2014.
Life, as a matter of fact, is a constant ebb and flow.
Cherish the small moments. Difficulty will arise but as I've always been told, "Hardship builds character."
I want to take a moment to wish everyone my warmest holiday greetings. Or Merry Christmas, as people said in the old days. I am very appreciative of those friends and family I have in my life, near and far. You are always in my heart, with good thoughts of health and happiness. I wish you the merriest Christmas and may 2015 lead all of you on your grandest adventure yet.
Christmas Eve mass, the chili dinner, the anticipation of tearing into those gifts that were sitting under the freshly cut pine tree. The sleepless nights awaiting Santa's arrival.
Philip Rivers waving good-bye to the Broncos, the makeshift Christmas with the never ending ham, and a night of excitement in a North Hollywood bar.
These are only a few among many.
Today, that childhood wonderment and excitement is as ever present as it was when I was eight years old.
No particular reason, mind you. Perhaps it is an eternal optimism that I will always carry with me.
This is not only the season of miracles, but a season to spread joy, kindness, and love.
We may do that with gifts. We may do that with donations. We may do that with a simple phone call.
Tell a loved one how you feel. Say hi to a stranger. Buy a beer for a friend.
This year has been a year of peaks and valley. I have enjoyed the peaks and embraced the valleys. Without the valleys, life would simply be too boring.
A self published fantasy novel. A new play. New writing opportunities. Seeing old friends. 3 trips to Nevada, including my first Thanksgiving with my parents and brother for the first time in 14 years.
Rejection letters, lost romances, and deteriorating friendships. Health scares for family members and friends alike. Career changes. All part of the ride that was 2014.
Life, as a matter of fact, is a constant ebb and flow.
Cherish the small moments. Difficulty will arise but as I've always been told, "Hardship builds character."
I want to take a moment to wish everyone my warmest holiday greetings. Or Merry Christmas, as people said in the old days. I am very appreciative of those friends and family I have in my life, near and far. You are always in my heart, with good thoughts of health and happiness. I wish you the merriest Christmas and may 2015 lead all of you on your grandest adventure yet.
December 16, 2014
Cloudy Heart
The snow was cold. There was no ignoring that. It was the irritating itchiness of his borrowed wool jacket that was driving him insane. The man didn’t complain, though. For starters, there was no one nearby to complain to. Secondly, with the sun hidden behind the clouds and a bitter wind blowing from the east, the man was lucky to even have a jacket at all. For that much, the man was grateful.
Small pieces of the white flurry stuck to the man’s brown, scraggly beard. His soulful blue eyes searched the land for shelter, but the white sheet of snow prevented him from doing so. His feet had stopped being cold long ago. He had been on the road for days and though his boots were still in good condition, he had become oblivious to the pain that attacked his feet. Numbness had settled in long ago. Everything from his mother to yesterday’s hot chocolate in Denver crossed his mind. Both warmed his soul. These were the thoughts that carried him forward.
Six years had passed since the man had left home. This Christmas was the one he would make it home. Anger had carried him away all those years ago. It was the anger of loneliness that forced him to return. He had adhered to a strict life while growing up and only wanted to break free from it. The chain held by his father needed to be broken. The man gathered what money he had and left. He hopped on the bus and just left. No destination in sight, the man let the spirits carry him away.
It killed him to leave his mother. She was the one light in his dark life. Her energy had kept both of them alive. The last letter he got from her was at Christmas of the second year of his absence. The man’s father had died and the letter was riddled with desperation. The man was a failure. He was a man without a home and he could not return. Even in death, his father had won.
The night grew deeper. The man was close. The arrival in his mind was perfect. His mother would be there, alone and lighting the Christmas tree. The man would walk through the front door; frozen but full of hope. Her eyes would be a waterfall of tears. Minutes would stretch into hours and hours into days. Life would begin for him once again.
The man hadn’t bothered to call. The idea of pure joy overwhelmed him. Nothing provides the body with more sensation than the love of mother and child. The last of his money was spent on a pair of used mittens he purchased from a thrift shop. His fingers, now swollen, now used the mittens as nothing more than decoration. His journey was nearly complete and the heavens could feel his heart grow.
As he rounded the corner and stepped onto Sycamore Street, the man’s legs began to tingle and his feet thawed out. The snow intensified now, nearly blinding the man. His heart showed him the way. Odd memories began to creep in. Good ones, bad ones, sad, happy; all of them. Friends long gone and times well spent. His father was there. His mother as well. She was the fire of his life. He threw his tattered scarf around his reddened face and stopped. Chills attacked his spine as the thought of his return grew closer. He approached the house. There were candles in the window that illuminated a well decorated room. The man slowly approached the house. His eyes peered in and his heart dropped. Inside this hallowed vault stood a Mother, a Father, and their young child. A lump grew in the man’s throat. The life he once knew had moved on. As the man continued to watch through the frost bitten window, the mother lifted her small child in her arms. On top of a beautifully lit tree, the child placed an angel fresh from its package. As he watched the family embrace, the man’s eyes slowly leaked. For the first time in years, the man smiled.
December 10, 2014
A Gem Among the Rest
Christmas, as it has been for years, comes and goes quickly, often without a thought to Christmas movies and television specials of years past. We have classics, like Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown's Christmas, A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life, and Home Alone. These are shown annually and, with the invention of DVR, are hard not to miss.
Let's take a moment to look at one of the lost Christmas specials. It was a very special episode in season two of a television show that ran from 1986-1990. The show centers around this:
That's right. It's that loveable creature Alf!
If you don't remember Alf, IMDB describes the show as "A furry alien wiseguy comes to live with a terran family after crashing into their garage."
Alf was certainly a wiseguy. And he loved cats. He loved to eat cats and I believe almost every episode had a joke centered around Alf trying to eat the family's cat, or cook the cat. The Christmas episode even starts with Alf singing, to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas, 82 different ways that he can cook a cat.
Okay. I stumbled upon the episode on Hulu. I thought to myself, "I watched Alf as a kid but can't remember anything but his desire to eat cats. Let's take a look see at this."
I sat there for nearly 47 minutes and watched every single second of this episode entitled "Alf's Special Christmas." Let me tell you this much... It is very...special.
Special might not even be the right word. The entire episode runs a gamut of emotions. Not that the show is overly funny (looking back at it now, anyhow), but for a Christmas special it is not as hokey/corny as the 90's television that followed or the 70's specials that preceded it.
I'll warn you now. "Alf's Special Christmas" will bring you to your lowest of lows before lifting you up again. There is a very clear Christmas message here. As you watch, you will be fully aware that lessons will be learned about life, Christmas, love, being kind, and all that jazz. As it is, the late 80's were apparently a very depressing time and the creators of Alf encapsulate all of the depression in this special episode. For a show I often considered as a family affair, this episode is of very adult subject matter. Nostalgia, growing up poor, death, loss of loved ones, a birth, and loneliness are all on the table in this Christmas episode.
Go watch it. Not for nostalgic reasons. Or maybe for nostalgic reasons if you miss Alf. Or simply watch it (for free) if you are tired of the usually Christmas fare that is offered on television.
"Alf's Special Christmas" (and other episodes of Alf) are currently airing on Hulu. About half way through this viewing, I did find myself vaguely remembering this episode.
As a pleasant surprise, it has Cleavon Little in it, who you might remember from Blazing Saddles. He plays one Mr. Foley, who kindly fixes up old toys and gives them out (as Santa Claus) to the children's wing of a hospital. How can you go wrong with that?
Let's take a moment to look at one of the lost Christmas specials. It was a very special episode in season two of a television show that ran from 1986-1990. The show centers around this:
That's right. It's that loveable creature Alf!
If you don't remember Alf, IMDB describes the show as "A furry alien wiseguy comes to live with a terran family after crashing into their garage."
Alf was certainly a wiseguy. And he loved cats. He loved to eat cats and I believe almost every episode had a joke centered around Alf trying to eat the family's cat, or cook the cat. The Christmas episode even starts with Alf singing, to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas, 82 different ways that he can cook a cat.
Okay. I stumbled upon the episode on Hulu. I thought to myself, "I watched Alf as a kid but can't remember anything but his desire to eat cats. Let's take a look see at this."
I sat there for nearly 47 minutes and watched every single second of this episode entitled "Alf's Special Christmas." Let me tell you this much... It is very...special.
Special might not even be the right word. The entire episode runs a gamut of emotions. Not that the show is overly funny (looking back at it now, anyhow), but for a Christmas special it is not as hokey/corny as the 90's television that followed or the 70's specials that preceded it.
I'll warn you now. "Alf's Special Christmas" will bring you to your lowest of lows before lifting you up again. There is a very clear Christmas message here. As you watch, you will be fully aware that lessons will be learned about life, Christmas, love, being kind, and all that jazz. As it is, the late 80's were apparently a very depressing time and the creators of Alf encapsulate all of the depression in this special episode. For a show I often considered as a family affair, this episode is of very adult subject matter. Nostalgia, growing up poor, death, loss of loved ones, a birth, and loneliness are all on the table in this Christmas episode.
Go watch it. Not for nostalgic reasons. Or maybe for nostalgic reasons if you miss Alf. Or simply watch it (for free) if you are tired of the usually Christmas fare that is offered on television.
"Alf's Special Christmas" (and other episodes of Alf) are currently airing on Hulu. About half way through this viewing, I did find myself vaguely remembering this episode.
As a pleasant surprise, it has Cleavon Little in it, who you might remember from Blazing Saddles. He plays one Mr. Foley, who kindly fixes up old toys and gives them out (as Santa Claus) to the children's wing of a hospital. How can you go wrong with that?
December 9, 2014
Cat vs. Christmas
Dear owner:
You have finished decorating for Christmas. The stockings are hung, the tree is lit, and tinsel is hanging everywhere. You are jovial, ecstatic, and in the Holiday mood.
Let me do the same. I try to sit under the tree and you yell at me.
I bat at the low hanging ornaments. Guess what, you yell at me. If you don't want me to play with the ornaments, don't hang them so low.
I chew on the tinsel. More yelling.
You have taken away my normal spots of exploring with Nutcrackers, Sno-globes, and other various collectibles and Christmas crap. Why do you torture me?
You wonder why I sleep even more this time of year.
You have taken away all my fun. Even the catnip laced toy you give me on Christmas morning won't win me over. My joy is not reliant upon catnip and you laughing at me while I roll around in the leftover Christmas wrapping. I am not your puppet.
I am your pet.
So have your eggnog and your yuletide and your Christmas trees. I'm just going to sleep here. And secretly drink the water from the tree holder while you sleep.
See you in January, jackass.
Sincerely,
Cats.
