Nancy N. Rue's Blog, page 4

Nudged to Grieve

Dear Fellow Nudgees,

 

    Ever since yesterday's news of the tragic school shooting in Connecticut I've felt a deep ache in the middle of my chest. I can't even name it because it's such a combination of sadness and horror and anger and guilt. That's grief, yes? A confusing madness of conflicting emotions that can find no place except in a knot of pain.

    And that is no more than a hang nail compared to the suffering that is happening among the family and friends and community of those who knew the victims of this heinous crime. It leaves me not knowing exactly how to pray. And so I merely grieve with them.

    I've always said that when something horrible and impossible to understand happens, the question to ask God is not just "Why?" but "What now?" I'm not sure any of us are ready for the "What now?" at this point. And in this case, "Why?" IS an appropriate question. Why was this young man's mental illness not better managed? Why does our system prevent us from preventing this?  Why was it possible for him to possess a semi-automatic weapon? Why does anyone in the United States need to own a gun of that kind, the right to bear arms notwithstanding?

    But I think it is only effective to ask "Why?" if we ARE going to move on to "What now?"  Are we going to address these mental health and guncontrol issues? Are we going to take a stand against violence in film and video games and neighborhoods and homes? What are we going to do -- because we must do something. I come back to theologian Abraham Heschel who said, "Few are guilty. All are responsible."

    What am I responsible for? Is it simply to continue to help girls grow into young women who can be the generation that stops the hate? To write fiction that encourages Christians to get out of the pew and be Jesus in the world? Or is there more? Merciful God, in the midst of Your own grief, please, please show me.

    For now I grieve and I know you grieve with me. And as people who are nudged beyond our comfort zones, let us pray together -- about all of it. Let us not underestimate the power of that. The Lord be with you, my friends. Let us pray.

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

Hank Comes Out of the Cafe . . . and Into Your Face

Hello, my fellow nudgees. I hoped there were many of us out there - that I wasn't the only one who got nudged to be a little . . .  different. Now I know there ARE. I've been overwhelmed and gratified by the response to my guest blogging last week, most of you hailing from Jen Hatmaker's blog. One of you said, "I am here . . . land of the crazy." Someone else said "I think we were separated at birth." Comment after comment echoed the cry: I want to be real Jesus to people. It's kind of lonely when poeple look blankly at your passion. Welcome, welcome, welcome, all of you. This is a place where you can feel free to express the truth you're finding and share where it's nudging you to. What do you say we carry on?

For those of you just joining us, we're looking to Hank D'Angelo, Allison's motorcycle riding instructor and spiritual mentor (I still like that skill set) in The Reluctant Prophet trilogy for nudge-related wisdom. Just as Jesus did (and I don't think I quite realized this when I was writing the books) Hank usually answers Allison's questions with a challenge. Each week we're deaing with a different Hank challenge, hoping it will jar us into taking up our own.

Normally Hank and Allison have their mentoring sessions in a coffee shop, but today's conversation takes place in Allison's living room, shortly after she's been released from jail for refusing to break up a feed-the-homeless event that turned into a spontaneous opportunity for Allison to speak out (in the park pictured above). Which she never intended to do and still doesn't know what to make of. 

But Hank does.

She says, "You can't hide from this. Allison, you are a prophet."

Allison, of course, balks, saying she doesn't foresee things, a common misconception about prophets. She argues that she's not the caliber of Isaiah and Jeremiah. She says she's not a good risk for this because she's never had a dream and followed it through. To use her own words:

        "I've had no sense of direction. I've failed at just about everything I tried because I didn't really try."

    Hank's answer? "I think those are all the very reasons God picked you."

    I'd love to take a look at that first. Are the excuses we use NOT to step out and do what we know we're being called to do -- aren't those the very qualities that make us perfect for the job?

    By anybody's logic, I shouldn't be in a career where I'm open to criticism all the time, because a few unkind words can take me down so fast it's like watching a quarterback sack. Yet that same ultra-sensitivity makes me extremely careful about the words I use. 

    There's no way I should be a full-time writer because I'm such an extrovert, and the creation of fiction requires large blocks of quiet alone time. That means I have to try to create very real characters, people to keep me company so I'm not always inviting somebody out for lunch. (The grieving when a series is finished is the price I pay for this craziness)

     And should I have a ministry? I didn't go to seminary. I didn't graduate from a Christian college. I'm not even a traditional evaneglical. What that all adds up to is a constant seeking what is true and real right along side of the people I minister to, especially the young ones.

    I could have gotten away with a lot of the "I can'ts" in there and stayed with public school teaching and be retired right now. Except that God wouldn't let me, and I mean that. I don't take credit for seeing the light. I saw the dark of deep depression; God nudged me when I was in that cave. It was either come out or die.

    Hank also points out that Allison BECAME all that she now knows before she knew it. In other words, "You didn't choose this job -- it chose you."

    Allison replies, "And you're saying I don't have any choice but to keep doing it."

    Hank sits back and says, "There you go."

    So there WE go. What choice do we have but to see our "I can'ts" as "That's why I shoulds" and do the job that has chosen us, no matter what it is? After all, a nudge isn't just a suggestion . . .

    Hey, so share with us, willya?

    What are the limitations you think you have that keep you from following that nudge? Are they actually the very reasons why you should?

    What job has already chosen you? Have you been doing it in some way all along?

    All of us here in "crazy land" want to hear. We need to be encouraged and inspired and kicked in the tail. And that's a job we're ALL called to.

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue                       

What Hank Says . . . About Leaving the Pew (Reluctant Prophet Trilogy Giveaway!)

Hello, fellow Nudgees. As we’ve been exploring the wisdom
character Hank D’Angelo imparts in The Reluctant Prophet trilogy, it keeps
occurring to me that God cuts me no slack.

Seriously.

I’m not
nudged to write novels that soothe (and I love novels that soothe – L.M.
Montgomery anyone? Jane Austen?) Or books that allow readers to escape for a
while (and I am all about escaping –
I’ve lost myself in every Harry Bosch story Michael Connelly ever wrote). Or
even Christian fiction that reinforces the basics we all need to live by (and
heaven knows I need that too.)

No, I get
to write the ones that challenge me with the tough questions – that hard stuff
that try as we might we can’t really, seriously find a simple answer for. God
asks me to address the questions that require wrestling and may result in
bruising. Or worse.

That
doesn’t make me noble. I’m as reluctant as Allison herself. But like her, I
pretty much have to do it. Which is why, when the opportunity came up to do a
“blog hop” – which you’ll hear more about below – I couldn’t do anything except
pose those questions, one each day of the “hop.” (And can I just say I can’t
type that without thinking of the “sock hops” we used to have in the gym when I
was in high school. Remember those? If you don’t because you’re too young, I
don’t want to hear about it.)

The first
question the trilogy puts out there is “How far out of the pew do we need to go
to do the Jesus thing?”

Allison
runs into that dilemma in The Reluctant
Prophet when she goes to her small group, which she fondly refers to in her
mind as “The Wednesday Night Watchdogs”, and asks for their help with the
troubled people she’s taken in off the street. Their responses range from, “The icing has slipped off your cupcakes,”
to “These people have deep-seated
problems and I just think you’re being naïve to think we can save them.”

They voice
concerns about her safety.

They tell
her that to take this risk is irresponsible.They don’t
want to see her heart broken when it doesn’t work out.

Allison’s
answer?

“So that’s what we’re about then. Staying
safe in our gated-community faith, where we make room for God. Well, you know
what? That’s a fantasy and a lie.”

I’ve always wanted to say that.

I guess now
I have.

Allison
goes on to speak the first prophecy God gives her, which you can find on p. 181
of The Reluctant Prophet. She’s very
sure that what she’s said is right. But that doesn’t mean she knows what to do
now. Haven’t we all been there?

So she seeks Hank’s wisdom, and the
conversation goes like this:

“All
right,” (Hank) said, “we’ve established that God is behind all this, yes?”

“Yes.”

“It
hasn’t been my experience that God gives an assignment and then leaves you to
figure out how to carry it out by yourself.”

“He’s
not saying anything.”

“Maybe
he doesn’t have to. Maybe you already know.”

 That, I believe, is the answer to
“How far out of the pew do we need to go?” We already know. Why wouldn’t we? That’s
just about all Jesus talks about in the Gospels. It’s everything we see him do.
He spends almost no time sitting in the synagogue. He’s out there, on the
hillsides, on the streets, at the tables with the lowlifes. Even his disciples
are not what you would call the cream of the crop. We know how far we have to
go. We know.

And we know ourselves, too. As that
conversation between Hank and Allison goes on, Allison speaks of what she knows
about herself as an individual. Her experience taking care of her nanny Sylvia
gave her the experience she needs to take care of Geneveve.

So perhaps the question isn’t
really ‘How far out of the pew do I need to go?’ but rather, ‘What do I already
know how to do that I can do if I get my hind parts off this pew and my nose
out of this Bible study and my head out of what I shouldn’t do because I’m a
Christian.’

Before we hop ahead here, I want to
make sure you understand, none of this is an indictment of the church or of
small groups, Bible study, or fellowship with the body of Christ.  We absolutely don’t know what to do if we don’t have all of that as a foundation.
But it should never hold us back from putting ourselves out there the way Jesus
did, and still does.

I know how to write and I know how
to teach and I know how to bring people together. And I make a pretty mean
lasagna. I have no other choice but to take those things outside the pew (who
eats lasagna in the sanctuary?) and go with those strengths.

Instead of answering that question,
I guess I’ve only raised two more.

What do you already know about
where God wants you to go? What do you already know about yourself that could
take you there?

So what do you say we explore that
together?

 

 

Now what you have probably been
waiting for…winning books!  My
publisher, David C. Cook is giving away:

Reluctant
Prophet series (3 books) to 10 winners,
PLUS 10
copies of Reluctant Prophet to each winner’s recipient of choice.

I will personally sign each
book as well as include a letter with Reluctant Prophet to your person of
choice. 

Visit here
for the Rafflecopter entry form and official rules.

If you are joining the hop
mid-way through and not sure where to go, here are all the stops for each day.  That way you are able to maximize your
entries into the giveaway, as well as capture Nancy’s heart as she wrote this
series:

Monday: Nancy
Rue,
The Nudge “What Hank Says . . . About Leaving the Pew”

Tuesday: Mocha With Linda “Will
the “Real” Christians Please Stand Up?”

Wednesday: Jen Hatmaker “When the
Nudge Drives a Wedge”

Thursday: Julie Cantrell
“That Whole ‘Unequally Yoked’ Thing

Friday: Far From Perfect
MaMMa “Is It Worth Having a Record?”

A few more top 10 quotes from Reluctant Prophet Series

Some thoughts/pins to share with you for the weekend (and in preparation for next week!)

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Source: Uploaded by user via Nancy on Pinterest

 

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Source: Uploaded by user via Nancy on Pinterest

Special Offer at Cafe Nudge

Okay, so I know that is like the worst picture of me ever, but it IS a pic of the Spanish Galleon Cafe where Hank and Allison met weekly in The Reluctant Prophet and Unexpected Dismounts, and I WAS deep in thought when my husband snapped it. I know: nto an expression you see often!)

The point is, I'm loving hanging out in Cafe Nudge with you and Hank and I so appreciate your comments (Once I got through all the Spam. Do I have a sign on my back that says, "Advertise your pharmaceuticals here!") and your personal emails. 

I'm liking it so much that I'm incorporating it into the "Blog Hop" we're doing next week to spread awareness about The Reluctant Prophet trilogy and its message. You'll start here Monday with Hank at Cafe Nudge and then "hop" (I can't help thinking about those sock hops we used to have in high school in the gym; if you're too young to understand that, I don't want to know about it!) to continue with the tough questions the trilogy poses. It's a whole cool thing with prizes involved, and although I resisted it at first because you know how I am about contests and things -- but I have been completely won over and I've had a blast creating guest posts. Seriously, it would be worth showing up just to see that I can actually write five posts in a week (when normally you get one every three months!)

I'd really love to have this experience with you. Yes, we're trying to widen the audience but as the core of it, you are definitely the people I want to cafe hop with. You'll be here right?

Blessings, all --

 

Nancy Rue

 

 

Top 10 quotes from Reluctant Prophet Series (not all 10)

Nudgees,

This is Nancy's VA... remember me? It's been a while, but we are gearing up for blog hop next week and in preparation for it I wanted to share a few pins from Pinterest that are circulating.  If you are on Pinterest and not yet connected with Nancy, please put your url in a comment below. 

Hope you enjoy these as much as Nancy enjoyed refreshing herself with the content to find them (yes, she did this herself, no assistant, they are her favorites!).  Keep in mind, they are only a small selection for now.  Others are on facebook or Pinterest.

Quote 3 of 10

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Source: nancyrue.com via Nancy on Pinterest

 

Quote 5 of 10

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Source: nancyrue.com via Nancy on Pinterest

 

Quote 6 of 10

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Source: nancyrue.com via Nancy on Pinterest

Hank Is Back at Cafe Nudge

Hello, Fellow Nudgees. I've been so pleased with the response to our new series "Hank Says" here on the blog. If you're just joining us at Cafe Nudge you might want to go back and check out last week's post, and of course feel free to comment as several of you have. I've also received some private emails, one of which prompts me to clarify one thing I wrote.

I was talking about a BIble study which declared that if you didn't audibly hear God, like ALL the time, you didn't have a relationship with God and you better get on it. I didn't mean to imply that getting down on your knees and saying, "God, I really am out of touch with you. Can we fix that?" isn't something we ALL need to do at times. I was referring more to the shocked tone the author used - and the wagging finger -- and the "There is only one way and it's my way" attitude. Please forgive me if I offended any of you. My passion about neener-neener Christianity gets me in trouble sometimes.

Speaking of, well, speaking  . . . it's SO God that when I went looking through The Reluctant Prophet for Hank's next wise words, I came to the scene, around page 243, 244, where Allison is processing with Hank how she's supposed to get Geneveve, the prostitute she has taken in, to go to NA and start dealing with her addiction. Allison has been loving Geneveve, taking care of her, showing her that God loves her, and still she refuses the help she needs. The conversation between Hank and Allison goes like this:

    Hank: I see God all over this, Al. Just keep doing what you're doing. You'll get there.

     Allison: I've tried to talk to Geneveve about NA twice, and she just starts crying and telling me it's going to be different this time. . . What am I supposed to say?

    Hank: What any good Southern Christian woman would say to a friend who was deluding herself.

    Allison: What? "You're a lying sack of cow manure, and you better get your tail to NA before I slap you silly?"

    Hank: That's the one. She isn't going to shatter. If she were that delicate she'd be dead by now. Show her some Jesus love. He did not, as you'll recall, pussyfoot around."

What is so God about that is that I've been fretting (do you not love that word? We seldom use it any more and when a dear friend of mine spoke it in a conversation recently I realized it perfectly fits what I do so much of the time . . .but I digress). I've been fretting about needing to be honest with a couple of different people about some unwise and in one case even ungodly things I see them doing. So what comes up in the lectionary this week but Luke 17: 3 - "If another disciple sins, you must rebuke the offender, and if there is repentance you must forgive . . . seven times a day." Since I, like Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, do not believe in coincidence, I tried to take it to heart.

But then I ran up against the word "rebuke." It's the very word that made me (dare I say this?) not like Jesus when I was a young girl. I just knew that if he "rebuked" me I would never get over it. Why couldn't he explain things nicely when people messed up? I know now, of course, that some people don't respond to "nice" -- but still, when he tells me I'm supposed to rebuke my fellow believer, I want to go hide in the back of my closet.

And yet. And yet. Didn't I let those same words come out of my beloved Hank's own mouth?  "Show her some Jesus love. He did not, as you'll recall, pussyfoot around."

So what does that mean exactly, Fellow Nudgees? There's no getting around that we're called to help keep each other straight. But some of that rebuking isn't done in a spirit of love. Some of it feeds the rebuker's own ego. Some of it has driven people right out of the body of Christ because no one has taken the time to figure out why they need to be rebuked in the first place. Or, in fact, IF they do.

Maybe that's the answer right there. Before she has this conversation with Hank, Allison does pray for Geneveve, get her to a place of strength, try to understand where she's been. The rebuking shouldn't come first -- but when tough Jesus love is needed, we've got to give it.

Even if it means trouble for the friendship.

Even if you're going to be called a meddler or a shrew or a self-righteous son-of-a-gun. 

Even if it doesn't work.

It does work for Allison. This time. And then she gets to do the fun part -- the forgiving. The "Okay, let's go to work on this thing -- together." I think what I thought as a kid and what many still do in the name of righteousness is fail to see that the rebuking isn't the end of it. It's the beginning. 

So when do we call that not-so-Christian behavior to someone's attention? And how? Is there anybody who needs that kind of love from you right now? We'd love to hear.

What this means, of course, is that now I have to go face those folks who seem to need it from me. I still can't think of it as "rebuking". Is that okay? I'm going to think of it as . . . loving enough to say, "Oh, honey -- what were you thinking? Can I help you turn this around?"

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. As I thank God for the blessings in my life, you will definitely be included. What a joy to take this journey with you.

And if you need to do any rebuking of me, could you wait until after the leftovers have been put away?

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue   

 

Hank Says . . .

Hey, fellow nudgees. I've so appreciated your comments and the emails a few of you have sent me. I love the feeling that we really are all in this together. As one commenter put it so well (in fact, better than I did!): "I'm still as effective as an empty sock-puppet if I try to do things on my own."

I was feeling that way the other day, only in kind of a different way. It's going to sound a little crazy, probably, but what the heck . . . that ship has sailed. Okay, here it is. I was driving home from someplace (doesn't matter) and I felt suddenly lonely. I thought, y'know what -- I miss my characters. That really isn't as woo-woo as it sounds. I did spend three intense years with Allison and Chief and Desmond and that whole crowd. They became as real to me as they apparently are to my readers -- and none more than Hank. I was missing her so much that day I said out loud, all alone in my car: "I wish I had a Hank in my life."

And then I thought, um, if Hank came out of my imagination then isn't she sort of  . . .me?  I couldn't quite be at home with that so I went a little deeper, probably forgetting completely that I was driving down the freeway so thank God, literally, that I didn't become a danger to myself or others. 

Yeah, I created Hank's stocky body and motorcycle expertise and love of all things delicious. But I didn't create her wisdom. I was just the channel for it. God gave me such great stuff when I was writing those scenes with Hank and Allison sitting across from each other at the Spanish Galleon and later at Sacred Grounds. I didn't know most of it until it appeared on the screen and I learned so much from it. I know I'm not the only writer who has had that experience. It's what Christian authors are supposed to do, right?

Still, the thought hasn't left me alone, and I've decided to create a series here on The Nudge that highlights some of Hank's wisdom. I'm imagining us all sitting down for stupid-sweet coffees and amazing egg concoctions (which I won't partake of since eggs make me deathly ill -- information you surely needed!) and chewing not only on scones and waffles but on the words that have come out of her mouth. If you're up for that, then gather 'round at Cafe Nudge and let's get started.

The first wise thing Hank says to Allison comes after listening to her conversion story and pondering with her the question "Could this Nudgy, kind of almost a voice thing -- is this how people know God's talking to them?" Hank says:

"In my experience it doesn't matter how you know. It only matters that you know."

I don't know about you, but I really do think that's true. I once read in a popular-in-the-90's Bible study sort of book an author say: "If you are not audibly hearing God's will you are not in relationship with God. Stop reading this book and get down on your knees and connect with the God who speaks to you." Those weren't the exact words, but they were similar enough that I did stop reading the book and dropped it into the trash can. How many earnest, God-seeking people are turned off by stuff like that? It still seriously drives my blood pressure up.

Because the thing is, how many ways ARE there to know God's nudging you? I've heard the still small voice perhaps a dozen times in my 61 years. I've also been thrown off a bicycle (what else would account for me turning right into a car I knew was there?). Had my jaw wired shut (not the same accident). Gotten chills. And just somehow KNEW. I'm not saying God orchestrated my bike wreck or my TMJ, but I am saying that God definitely spoke through them, clearly and without words. 

Hank's right as far as I'm concerned. We can get into debates about whether certain mysterious visitors in our lives were angels or some dreams we've had were right up there with Gabriel showing up, but that really isn't the point . Do we get THAT God has "spoken" to us -- that's the point. 

I wonder how many times I've missed it? I wonder if God just keeps trying until I go, "Oh, wait, is that You?" I wonder if my busyness and pride and anxiety sometimes give him cause to say, "Y'know what -- she's not ready for this. I'm going to ask someone else."

I wonder what you're thinking about that. Do you think Hank's right? How does God speak to you? Bring it to the table here at Cafe Nudge. I'll make the coffee.

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

Hey, fellow Nudgees. A few days ago I realized somethin...

Hey, fellow Nudgees. A few days ago I realized something that I wanted to share with you.

I've stopped whining.

Okay, let me clarify that. I still whine when the septic tank backs up just before houseguests arrive or Guinness (male lab) wakes me up out of a delicious nap with his wet nose in my ear. I whine long and loud in those situations. I mean, as my favorite football commentators say, "C'mon MAN!"

I'm talking about the whining I've done for so long -- even publically -- about what the writing life has become.

You've heard me carry on about not wanting to spend time tweeting and friending and liking and hopping (blog-wise) and linking-in and logging-on and everything else that requires me to be media social.

You've listened to me go on ad nauseam about how I'm a writer and writers write -- they don't promote and market and post and run contests.  I'm sure you've wanted to offer me a little cheddar with that whine when I've longed out loud for the days of L.M. Montgomery and Jane Austen, who didn't have to do all this "stuff". You could probably chant with me: "This isn't what I signed up for 30 years ago."

Yeah, well, what is?

I actually never asked myself that question. What I did, as I shared with you in a previous post, was ask God to lead me to the goals this year instead of me setting them and then asking God to bless them. And then with fearful heart and quaking boots I listened and waited and took walks and baked pies and otherwise went about my daily round. And a couple of weeks ago as I was journalling, I realized:

I've stopped whining.

Instead, with the help of my saintly virtual assistant I've been able to let "social media" become "soul media" for me. I've discovered that just because The Reluctant Prophet trilogy isn't flying off the bookstore shelves its message is touching people deeply and I can use the Internet to keep talking about that message. I mean -- really. I have actual relationships with readers on Facebook. I'm sharing my thirtieth anniversary as a published author with them.  And who better, right? Every day I find new ways to deepen my relationship with the girls on my tween and teen blogs, which I can only carry so far between the covers of my books.

Another saintly friend who comes from the business world has taught me about tickler files and client binders and priority scheduling. The writing time is sacred, but so is the space for all the other things that are now a part of this thing called making a living as a writer.

Because that's the thing -- over these thirty years I have watched it all change until it is not the same in any way as it was back in 1982. I mean, what the Sam Hill is? If things didn't change, we would still be wearing shoulder pads, ladies (which I actually happened to like) and Spandex with leggings (which I did not!) About the time I unconsciously stopped whining, I started asking God, "What is still true about writing?"

Here is just one of the many answers that have come to me:

I still can't not do it because it's what I'm called to do.

 Or to put that into terms that actually make sense: If I ask myself, are you going to stop listening for truth and discovering ways to get it out there just because publishers no longer offer mega-multi-book contracts and most of the mom-and-pop Christian bookstores have closed their doors and writers now have to be part of the team that markets their books?

Um, no. I can't even consider it. Nor do I want to because -- dare I say it -- some of these new ways are pretty fun.

How can I meet with the vibrant, beautiful young women who make up the Tommy Nelson marketing team and not want to get on board with where they want to take me?

How can I talk to a young, enthusiastic acquisitions editor who explains "socially developed material" and not want to do an e-book that way? 

How can I turn down any opportunity to help people recognize the nudge and follow it in their own authentic ways -- even if that opportunity lies in a one-liner on Facebook?

I can't. Because God won't let me. Because God has made it clear that things being made new  is not limited to the hereafter.

And that, I think, is why I've stopped whining.

Not because I'm virtuous (are you serious?) or saintly (no, that's my virtual assistant and my business advisor-friend) or particularly astute (this is the woman who never put it together until I heard it yesterday that "author" and "authority" come from the same root word, which is probably a good thing) .

No, I've stopped whining because I don't need to anymore.

Except when it comes to the septic tank . . . .

You know I'd love to hear, well, anything you want to say -- but especially what is still true for you even as the world changes.

In HIS truth,

Nancy Rue 

Far Enough Moments

Hey, fellow Nudgees! It's been a while since we've chatted but I've been feeling the nudge to get back with you.

Part of that, of course, is that the final book in The Reluctant Prophet trilogy is now OUT. Too Far To Say Enough hit the shelves last Monday, bringing Allison's journey (at least for us) to what one reviewer called "a satisfying end." I hope YOU are satisfied with it, and I'd love to know one way or the other. Right here is a good place to comment.

I'd love to hear what you think about:

    * the Sultan finale

    * the Troy Irwin resolution

    * the development of the Sacrament House

    * and, of course, the Allison/Chief deal

One reader who emailed me had some very strong opinions about how all of the above should go down and even though my conclusion and hers were, uh, not the same, I was intrigued by the fact that there could have been a number of ways the trilogy could have turned out. So, again, I would love to hear your thoughts.

The other reason I was nudged to post is that the title (and the concept) of "too far to say far enough" is timely for me personally and I'm sure it is for a lot of you as well. As I wend my way through my seventh decade (it is rather heart-stopping to realize one's sixties are the seventh decade of life . . .) I'm continually looking for direction.

        * What's next?

        * Where have I not gone far enough yet?

        * And where is it time to say "this is it -- done."

It may sound sort of cowardly to say "far enough", especially in a society that tells you to, "Just do it!" "Be all you can be!" "There's nothing you can't accomplish if you're willing to work yourself to death!" But I've had my share of moments when "far enough" were the best words that could have come out of my mouth:

    * When I counseled myself out of the motorcycle class because I was a danger to myself and others. I mean, seriously, do I not look like a crash dummy on that thing?

    * When in my thirties I was 15 pounds underweight and found myself tearing the label off the SlimFast container and hiding it in the back of the cabinet so my family wouldn't know I was still trying to lose.  Did I think they were blind?

    * When I realized that it was time to take the leap of faith from teaching to full-time writing.

The list goes on, but you get the idea. I'm thinking it's as important to know when to say "enough" as it is to know when to say "I've come too far to stop now." 

Christine Paintner, author of The Artist's Rule (which I highly recommend), suggests that instead of making a "to-do list" today, make a "stop doing" list. I've only just started on mine but I'll share an item or two:

        (1) Stop telling myself I'm a terrible cook. No one has died at my table yet.

        (2) Stop working overtime. I mean, seriously, it's not like I get time and a half!

        (3) Stop creating schedules no one could possiby keep up with except a robot.

It's a soul-searching exercise and a freeing one. Yeah, there are definitely times when we have to say, "I've come too far to say far enough."     

        Twenty years ago when our marriage was on the skids and I thought I wanted to call it quits, I knew in my soul we'd come too far for that.  

        Six years ago when I became so depressed during a medication change I had the thought that maybe this living thing was just too hard . . I still held on, still kept writing Healing Stones, which I think of as the book God wrote for me while I was out to lunch.

     Just this year when I considered the notion that I was "done" and should just mentor -- and God showed up with "let's go deeper."

I'm thinking it's all about discernment, right? I'd love to hear how you've discovered when you've come far enough and when you have to keep going. That will help us all with the discerning -- which is the one thing we'll never have done enough of.

And . . .  enough for now.

 

Blessings,

Nancy Rue