Ann Imig's Blog, page 4
July 19, 2018
Lunch Forever (and maybe why our parents always want to feed us) #30BrighterDays
An addendum to yesterday’s list of chores for my kids: packing lunches. I still pack their lunches. I packed my own lunch starting in third grade; usually a piece of baloney–dry, straight-up–on white bread with an apple chaser.
But I decided I might pack my kids lunches for ever.
Listen, I have zero desire to return to Life With Littles, however nowhere in tween/teen parenting can you find the pure satisfaction that comes from the thorough completion of all-child-needs attended to, as one does with a well-fed, straight out of the bath, wrapped in a hoodie-towel, sporting a fresh diaper on his butt and an enormous grin on his face baby.
Although not nearly as huggable as a fresh adoring baby, something about packing the kids’ lunches kinda sorta checks that box for me; putting servings of vegetables in tiny tupperware, a sandwich cozy in its own sandwich container, the little treat I know they’ll eat first, an ice pack keeping everything cool. Zip it up, hand it over, done and done.
Obviously feeding is nurturing; food is life, food is love, etc. Depending on the day, feeding my family can also feel like a gigantic pain in my ass. But dang if it isn’t nice to feel a tiny bit of control as a parent of kids way too old for swaddling, with needs more complex than a Diego sippy cup can satisty, in this nutso modern world. Maybe this is why our parents always want to feed us. Maybe this is why when my Grandma Jo would offer me food and I’d tell her I wasn’t hungry she’d say What does that have to do with anything?
My kids might start buying their lunch this fall, but I got a coupon for lunch containers in the check-out line and I’m holding on to it.
The post Lunch Forever (and maybe why our parents always want to feed us) #30BrighterDays appeared first on Ann's Rants.
July 18, 2018
A-Okay #30BrighterDays
Sometimes tiny kids wake-up from naps uber-grumps with flaming cheeks and whiny cries. They drink their milk with a pinched brow and refuse to be put down. We used to call those “hard wake-ups.”
Monday morning I woke up to my least favorite thing– a dirty kitchen full of last night’s dishes, and no Mr. Coffee waiting. Typically my husband Ben cleans the kitchen at night and prepares Mr. Coffee, but he was ill and coughing all night long. As my body temperature soared, I realized the air conditioner had broken overnight. Naturally I then decided to spend 30 minutes on the phone with the insurance company disputing a claim.
A hard wake-up.
A dirty kitchen alone can make me a raging baby. Given my sick and typically very helpful mate I (barely) talked myself down, ran Mr. Coffee, and got to work. It turned out I didn’t mind the effort, so I decided to torture myself over the fact that our almost middle-schooler and almost high-schooler don’t do dishes. ANN YOU DID DISHES EVERY NIGHT STARTING IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. ANN THEY NEED LIFE SKILLS. ANN YOU ARE TOO LATE AND DO TOO MUCH AND SPOIL AND CODDLE and omg Ann give your brain a bottle and put it back to bed.
Never mind our kids do their own laundry, unload the dishwasher, set/clear the table, take care of the cat food/litter and more. Obviously I had failed parenting completely and permanently and needed instantaneous child chore rectification, because I woke up one single morning to a dirty kitchen.
I made a mental note and maybe greeted Ben with HOW ARE YOU FEELING OUR KIDS NEED TO DO DISHES AND CLEAN BATHROOMS AND COOK AND SUBTEXT WE HAVE EXACTLY FOUR YEARS TO TEACH OUR OLDEST EVERYTHING HE NEEDS FOR LIFE. At least I didn’t put rubber gloves on the still sleeping kids and wake them with the scrubber.
**
Later, my son wanted to listen to music. I suggested he listen to his iPod while mowing the backyard. He said sure and then went and did it. I repeat, he said sure and went and did it.
Our kids do need to do dishes and cook and definitely clean bathrooms, eventually. But it doesn’t have to happen now this instant. Also, small irritaitons don’t usually necessitate sweeping changes, Ann’s brain, and I do hope you enjoyed that exercise!
They are doing a-okay. So am I.
The post A-Okay #30BrighterDays appeared first on Ann's Rants.
July 17, 2018
Do you know what time it is? #30BrighterDays time.
“Do you know what time it is?” my friend and neighbor Pat called to me from her garden this morning.
“9:42” I said.
“Do you know what time it is?” She repeated. “It’s raspberry time! Want a pint?”
Her husband Mel came out the door with my rasbperries before I could even respond absolutely I want a pint.
It’s time for neighbors and berries and brighter days. Who’s with me?
***
#30BrighterDays is a practice I developed for the purpose of practice– practicing noticing, practicing creative expression, and practicing brightening my perspective. I welcome you to join me in your own notebook, on your blog, or on your social media using the hashtag. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. In fact, I’ve found it works best for me as a little deal. We often overlook those.
The post Do you know what time it is? #30BrighterDays time. appeared first on Ann's Rants.
May 31, 2018
We’re Invited
Next week we’re invited to a fifth grade celebration and an eighth grade passage ceremony, back-to-back on the same day.
We’re invited with an exceptionally happy bunch of balloons, a bowl of ramen noodles, and two cherries (with shine spots!) on top.
We’re invited to say goodbye to our neighborhood elementary school; the one that educated, housed, and nurtured our family for nine years.
We’re invited to say goodbye to a bazillion “Hi Mrs. Imig/Miss Ann/ Ms. MaxElliott’s Mom!!” volunteer and chaperone hours, storytime, spelling bees, four square, safety patrol, backpack art, Hannukkah Mom, and birthday root beer floats in the classroom.
We’re invited to say goodbye to the middle school which proved not-at-all scary, much more friendly and interesting than we anticipated.
We’re invited to say goodbye to a zillion-point-five walks to and from the joint elementary/middle school building– first holding their hands, then following them at a distance, now watching them from the window.
We’re invited to watch our kids quit some of the activities, sports, and lessons we selected for them–that they mostly stuck with– as they decide what excites and engages them on their own. We’re invited to let go for the moment of do it for the team and have you practiced nagging.
We’re invited to recall how frightened we felt letting our kids out of our arms and into the world as kindergarteners, and how watching those kindergarteners learn to read brought us awe and pride we never imagined. We’re invited to remind ourselves of this when we feel that familiar fear creep up our spine, as we send them off on buses to a new middle school and high school.
We’re invited to a lot more homework.
We’re invited to remember all the new camps, teams, bus rides, friends and situations they’ve navigated beautifully without us.
We’re invited to behold our children becoming.
They’re ready. We’ll get there.
A handful of tickets remain for my new show (Thursday evening 6/21) YOU AGAIN: an evening of songs and stories to benefit MOMS DEMAND ACTION. Enjoy Broadway favorites and original stories about midlife, marriage, and motherhood–with accompanist Mark Wurzelbacher–all in support of MOMS DEMAND ACTION gun violence prevention efforts. No ticket sales at the door! Buy tickets here. https://youagain.brownpapertickets.com
May 17, 2018
The brightness of your 2500 stories #30BrighterDays
***
Somehow I’ve always known that I wouldn’t be able to even begin to take-in the power of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER until I could step away from it entirely.
Yesterday, one year almost to the day of the project finale, I received a gift from friends of a session with intuitive coach/guide Thea Sullivan. As one part of our session, Thea took me through an energy clearing meditation. You probably know the experience of guided meditation; deep breathing, relaxation, and imagery.
Well I breathed out a craplot of people-pleasing. Plenty more needs exorcising, believe me, but I blew out enough of that perfectionist soul-sludge to make room for what happened next.
Thea asked me to imagine a big sphere of light in my arms over my head. Coincidentally or not, I use this image in yoga regularly–one that came intuitively and so powerfully for me that I actually drew a picture of it in my journal years ago. This was only one of several remarkable moments of synergy I experienced with her.
Next, she told me to picture that light as a magnet calling back all my good energy from the universe–the bits and pieces of myself I’ve given to others through creativity, work, family, community, service– to rejoin the energy ball above my head. Thea described it as an energetic homecoming; the ball grows bigger, more complete, more whole.
Instantly, 2500 sparks of light–your stories– rushed at me. I began to receive. I wept.
I didn’t know I needed this. Thankfully, my friends did. Maybe you do too.
May 14, 2018
Magic Minutes #30BrighterDays
Like many parents, we split the driving and errands. Recently it dawned on us that instead of always dividing up, sometimes we can share the labor and enjoy an uninterrupted conversation. Umm, NO DOY Ann and Ben??
I can’t explain why this took so long for us to see, except to say that as waitstaff you always try to get the most done in the least amount of trips. One person puts up the chairs after lunch rush while the other mops. Same with parenting tween/teens; one person drives to Hebrew school, while the other makes dinner.
As a childless young and inseparable couple, we automatically wrung every possible moment of togetherness from each day. Decades later, we can barely manage to sync our brains around dinner plans most weeknights. Efficiency wins out over connection too often.
On soccer nights we drive a minimum of three trips from home to the soccer park. Dropping off one kid for his 6:30-8 practice and picking up the other from his 5:30-7 means one driver waits around for 30 minutes, or runs a quick errand in between. Until we realized we could drive the middle shift together, get out of our car (!), put our phones away (!!), and take a stroll around the soccer park while we wait.
Abra Abra cadabra, we reached out and grabbed 60 minutes a week together– quality conversation and connection minutes–free from WHAT DID YOU SAY across the house FORGET IT from the next room and WILL YOU PLEASE REPEAT EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID down the stairs.
Wishing you some magic minutes today.
May 11, 2018
Northern Splendor: The Beauty of a Bright New Day #30BrighterDays
The beauty of a bright new day! ― Lailah Gifty Akita
No place makes me feel the brightness of a new day like Grand Marais, MN.
I wrote about it for the May 2018 issue of Brava Magazine.
Tickets are selling quickly for my new show (Thursday evening 6/21) YOU AGAIN: an evening of songs and stories to benefit MOMS DEMAND ACTION. Enjoy Broadway favorites and original stories about midlife, marriage, and motherhood–with accompanist Mark Wurzelbacher–all in support of MOMS DEMAND ACTION gun violence prevention efforts. Venue is small and seating is limited–don’t wait! Buy tickets here. https://youagain.brownpapertickets.com
May 4, 2018
#30BrighterDays Lights On
My day started sluggishly. After helping the kids out the door, I lay on the couch, scrolling through my phone and bemoaning my (practical, sound, UN-FUN) decision not to join my writer friends at a conference this week in California.
My friend Jim posted on Facebook about the miracle of an ordinary day, and a reminder to get busy living. I took it as a cue to get the hell off of Facebook.
As it poured rain, I ran on the treadmill watching a comedy special. Moving and laughing shook off a little gloom.
By the time I went to tutor at school, the sun shone, my skin finally felt warm, and I saw green chutes and magnolia blossoms announcing spring’s arrival at long long looooooong last.
A first grade girl–passing me in the hallway on her way back from recess–gave me a dandelion.
On my walk home, I noticed the infant burning bush we had planted this fall sprouting buds, despite looking very deceased until yesterday. (You can barely make it out in the picture below, dwarfed by its thriving and aged auntie).
Today felt like someone turned the lights on; first Jim, then a first grade girl, some hopeful buds, and also me. I celebrated with a mango lassi.
May 3, 2018
#30BrighterDays Mall Lunch
Last night my 8th grader and I attended high school orientation. After the first hour, the kids left the auditorium to have Q&A with some graduating seniors, while we parents got tips from the school psychologists about raising adolescents.
The grown-ups asked fraught questions about the behavior plan, drug use and active shooter drills; all of which the staff answered directly and took seriously.
Near the end of the evening, my friend Dan–one of the school guidance counselors–let us know that while we fretted over if/how often to allow our kids to go to the mall across the street for lunch, the kids themselves erupted in whooping and cheering at the very mention.
In the lobby afterwards, we parents nervously chatted about sports physicals and older sibling prom plans and social media. Meanwhile, my son breezed by me with a smile on his face, holding a piece of pizza the approximate size of a traffic cone.
Tickets are on sale now (more than half sold) for my new show (Thursday evening 6/21) YOU AGAIN: an evening of songs and stories to benefit MOMS DEMAND ACTION. Enjoy Broadway favorites and original stories about midlife, marriage, and motherhood–with accompanist Mark Wurzelbacher–all in support of MOMS DEMAND ACTION gun violence prevention efforts. Venue is small and seating is limited! Buy tickets here. https://youagain.brownpapertickets.com
May 1, 2018
#30BrighterDays An Imperfect Totally Wonderful Rehearsal
Today we rehearsed my new show YOU AGAIN in the venue, with the mic, and–of course– my brand new shoes. Gotta break those suckers in before show day.
My dear brilliant writer friend Lisa Page Rosenberg gave me super helpful script notes.
My wonderfully talented actor friend Samara gave me fabulous direction (and this great photo).
My gifted accompanist and musical director Mark brought his mad piano skills.
I performed for an audience of one (which is way more intimidating than an audience of 300) and she got it. She liked it!
Nothing about it was perfect. And It was totally thoroughly wonderful.
Talk about a bright spot.
Tickets are on sale now and the house is half sold for my new show (Thursday evening 6/21) YOU AGAIN: an evening of songs and stories to benefit MOMS DEMAND ACTION. Enjoy Broadway favorites and original stories about midlife, marriage, and motherhood–with accompanist Mark Wurzelbacher–all in support of MOMS DEMAND ACTION gun violence prevention efforts. Venue is small and seating is limited! Buy tickets here. https://youagain.brownpapertickets.com/
