Ann Imig's Blog, page 9

Greetings from Wisconsin’s oldest living humor/cat/daughter blogger!

I am still here after 90 9 years. The world crumbles all around us, yet I remain ever your Wisco Jewess, your Stay-At-Home Humorist: fan of taglines, slightly energetic, semi-woke, and at the ready to entertain you with extraordinarily fresh content!

ITEM. Toby has behavior problems.

Hobbies include scaling heights, stealing food, and sneak attacks. Toby loves water and laughs in the face of our “get off the kitchen counter” spray bottle. We got him from a shelter so we can’t be certain of his breed, but he’s at least 60%  flying squirrel. He has my long arms. We love him times many adjectives and adverbs.

 

 

ITEM. My assortment of parents continue to thrive!

A few years ago I admired a new landscape on my mom’s wall. I assumed she bought it at a local gallery, only to learn that she had taken up pastels and drawn it herself. Imagine if I embedded a video of me ably playing a tuba concerto–a concerto. That’s how it feels to see my mom’s artwork. She knits and weaves, but aside from a deftly drawn stick-figure on my 1980s brown bag lunch, I had no idea she had this in her. I’m not sure she did either, until age 73. We have no idea who dwells within us, and what works might emerge tomorrow.

Mom has worked as a therapist for 40 years. My dad has worked as a labor arbitrator for 50 years. Recently I told Dad how I envy a lifelong steady career to engage in fully, eventually master, and truly enjoy.  He agreed about that good fortune and added “Well, I’ve been married three times.” That has brought me smiles and peace of mind all week. My parents are my midlife gurus.

ITEM. We all start over in different ways, again and again.

Nine years ago I started a humor parenting blog. Somewhere along the way it merged with creativity, a whole new life-cycle of cat (RIP Henry and Dexter aka The Fur Bastard), and as of today the cutting-edge and likely extremely lucrative trend of daughterblogging.

The world might be crumbling, yet plenty of us have resources to fortify and rebuild, help and hold hope with our extremely long arms. We have tuba concertos yet to play, second and third careers and/or marriages to discover, and spray bottles to resist.  We can do this. Again and again.

 

 

 

 

 

Book giveaway: Janine Kovac’s Spinning (life on stage meets life in the NICU)

Given that I have spent the last decade immersed in motherhood stories, and given my lifetime love affair with the stage, it comes as no surprise that Janine Kovac’s beautifully crafted memoir Spinning: Choreography for Coming Home kept me turning the pages.

Wait. Actually it is a surprise, because I’ve heard, read, and written hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of mother stories. While I can appreciate nearly any true story of motherhood, to really grip me and keep me with you after all these mother words takes something special. Spinning is something special.

 

When Janine Kovac gives birth to micro preemie twins nearly four months before they are due, she channels the grace and strength that carried her through a successful ballet career. The human body has amazing healing powers if you just know how to listen to it. But old habits bring up old haunts and bitter memories–the futile quest for perfection and a career-ending injury. In the sterile, fluorescent world of the NICU, ballet breeds hope as the twins make a miraculous recovery. Can it also bring resolution to the dancer so many years after the abrupt and painful end to the career she loved so much? — Amazon synopsis

The combination of Kovac’s insider look into the life of a professional ballet dancer (and her struggle with finding a new identity when it abruptly ends) woven together with the crisis of her tiny twins’ dangerous arrival and precarious survival, literally made me deep breathe along with her.  The unique details of Kovac’s experiences held me rapt, but her existential crisis of new motherhood felt very familiar, as she and her husband and 3-year-old daughter struggled to find their footing with the crisis of new babies (very very fragile ones at that), and as Kovac wrestled with memories of her younger self and paths not taken.

Janine not only writes, but she devotes her time and resources to providing opportunities for other creative women. She served as local director for LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER: San Francisco, and she’s a founding member of the nonprofit group Write On Mamas. She recently co-founded Moxie Road Productions “a consulting firm that helps women bring their ideas into the world” with her LTYM San Francisco co-producer Tarja Parssinen.  Learn more about author Janine Kovac here.

Support Janine by buying her book here! Make sure to help an author out immensely by leaving a review on Amazon and/or goodreads if you love it (and I think you will)! And/or leave a comment below about one of your former selves still spinning around within you, and I’ll choose a winner at random to receive a free copy of Spinning (continental US only). I’ll leave entries open through end of day 10/1/17.

Practice anti-perfection with me

I live mostly in gratitude right now for my dry safe home and healthy loved ones. If you live out of harm’s way like I do today–for this moment–you, too, likely hold sadness and deep sympathy for the suffering due to the hurricanes, forest fires, and deportation threats. The list of potential and imminent tragedies looms large and touches so many people. You probably have taken action steps to give or help however you can. I have too, and will leave some links below.

I’m also preparing for my talk at the DreamBank next week on (Thursday evening 9/14) about practicing anti-perfectionism.

Perfectionism reminds me of the playground game Red Light, Green Light. You run with every GREEN LIGHT, and stop in your tracks at the call for RED LIGHT. The point of the game is to make it to the finish line first. RED LIGHT stops the game, the fun, and all the forward momentum.

Our perfectionism glares RED LIGHT. It tells us we aren’t enough, and that there’s only one winner (and surely it isn’t us, so game over). Perfectionism is pervasive in our culture; especially online and in the media we consume. Becoming completely focused on the perfectionism red light signal–instead of the value that the process of a green light moving us forward can provide–can lead to procrastination, undermine our confidence, and even impact our well-being and health.

I didn’t pay attention to these signals until my body gave me a glaring RED LIGHT that leveled me several years ago. I had to learn how to let go of outcomes and value the journey in order to regain my health and confidence. Now I understand that GREEN LIGHT means that you work for the work’s sake, trusting the process, and that keeping energy moving forward and opening up is even more important to my well-being than any notion of a (often overrated) finish line. I now know–whatever I do–it’s never going to be perfect. I’ve learned to do it anyhow. I did an 8 minute Facebook live (my first Facebook live!) that will give you a sense of next week’s conversation.

Join me at DreamBank for a conversation about the pervasive culture of perfection and how to practice anti-perfection daily. The event is FREE and filling fast, so make sure to reserve your spot here.

 

 

Speaking of process, early this summer I spoke to Ashleigh Blatt from The Power Squad Project podcast about planning for endings as part of the process of every endeavor.

 

We discussed:

evolving your business
deciding to close your business
making the decision
knowing what’s right for you and your business
knowing when it’s time
what’s next

Listen here. 

***

A tiny list of action steps to consider:

Diapers and clean underwear are a critical health/hygiene and dignity issue that often gets overlooked and is badly needed during evacuations/weather crisis.

Here’s a list of places to donate money and aid to communities of color in Houston

Call on your representatives to #DEFENDDACA and support/follow/share Wisconsin’s own Voces de la Frontera

***

Message In A Guest Book

Before we left for our annual trip to Lake Superior, I pulled a goddess card. The goddess I blindly selected told me to seek a spiritual place, a timely suggestion given Lake Superior tends to connect me to my spiritual side (also to my World’s Best Donuts side).

Yesterday Mom and I went to a tiny private spa on an extraordinary cove; a haven on protected native land.

Each time I visit, I sign the house guest book.

A 2002 visit provided an oasis from corporate life. My second visit in 2003 coincided with a major shift in my life when I’d miscarried my first pregnancy and consequently left a high-stress sales job; my great loss springing me to great freedom.

In 2003 I had a loving husband and a condo in Chicago.

These guys didn’t exist.

 

Listen To Your Mother? Utterly inconceivable. I knew nothing of blogging. In fact, I think I believed at age 29 I’d outgrown my creative side.

The goddess card told me to seek a spiritual place. I found wisdom–or at least a shift in perspective– in a 14 year old note I wrote myself during a time when I couldn’t imagine most of the main ingredients of my life today.

Entire lifetimes of possibility lie in wait; ideas and potential we cannot even fathom right now, not to mention dear friends, mentors, even loved ones we haven’t yet met.

 

In the meantime there are World’s Best Donuts. I recommend the maple long john.

Happy Father’s Day, Kaleem! #ShareTheLuv by Treating Devoted Dads and Caregivers

This post is sponsored by Luvs

Father’s Day is an important day for dads, moms, children and families around the U.S. and Luvs invited me to celebrate a devoted dad in Madison.

Caire family portrait, 2014

If you live in the Madison-area, you’re likely familiar with Kaleem Caire. Kaleem is a doting dad to five kids and husband to Black Women’s Wellness Day founder and host Lisa Peyton-Caire. Kaleem devotes his working hours to serving dozens of families and future leaders through One City Early Learning, and has dedicated himself to countless others through his years of leadership and community-building.

One City Learning class of 2017: Madison’s future leaders, ready for Kindergarten!

Recently I met with Kaleem and Vice President/Center Director Marlo Mielke for a tour of the school, and so I could hand-deliver a gift from Luvs. Luvs donated diapers to the school, and also gave me $200 in gift cards to spoil Kaleem as a father– and his staff as caregivers– in honor of Father’s Day.

One City Vice President/Center Director Marlo Mielke and Founder/President/CEO Kaleem Caire

Marlo and Kaleem funnel their passion for our city and people into One City’s mission to cultivate a community of healthy, happy, thoughtful and resourceful children who possess the capacity and commitment to empower others and change the world, their families and communities for the better. I watched tears brim both Marlo and Kaleem’s eyes as he read aloud a Facebook post from a student’s mom that had attended graduation the night before. Her post began “Last night I experienced one of those moments where you know, as a parent, you’re getting something right.” As I walked through the welcoming, peaceful, joyful preschool, I felt that, too–like Madison is getting something right thanks to One City, Marlo’s direction, and Kaleem’s dedication and vision.

I asked Kaleem some questions about fatherhood, and you can read the full interview below. This quote jumped out at me and personifies Kaleem as a a dad and leader:

 

“Dive into their lives” — Kaleem Caire

 

Happy Father’s Day, Kaleem!! Thank you for building and guiding Madison to a brighter future. Enjoy spoiling yourself and your staff with this gift from Luvs. You deserve it!!

Parenting and care-giving can be difficult and expensive, so diapering shouldn’t be. Luvs knows that between laundry, play dates, snack time, and nap time, you don’t have time for leaks. Luvs makes life easier for busy parents by helping to keep leaks in the diaper where they belong, so baby stays dry and comfortable, even overnight. In fact, they guarantee it.

The official diaper of experienced parents is sharing the luv this Father’s Day and offering a great money-saving opportunity with a $2 print-at-home coupon. Visit http://www.coupons.com/brands/luvs-coupons/ to access a Luvs coupon of $2 off any one diaper pack.

Print-at-Home coupons expire 30 days from the date the coupon is printed by the consumer
You can use this coupon at any mass, discount or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold. All Luvs Diapers are included in this particular offer, except trial/travel sized diaper packs.

The official diaper of experienced parents, Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™ are softer and more absorbent than before*, with large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection and a money-back guarantee.  Luvs provides features babies and parents need for less cost than premium brands.

Interview with Kaleem Caire: Father and Visionary

What has surprised you about fatherhood?

My mother and father didn’t raise me. I left home at age 17 right after high school graduation for the U.S. Navy and from then on, was almost completely on my own financially, etc. However, in my experience with my own children, I have learned that being a parent takes on greater importance as your children get older. They need us more: our sons and our daughters. As they venture out into the world as young adults, we actually have more in common with our children. Pursuing independence and taking on adult responsibilities requires a lot of support, guidance and advice from parents. I’m really enjoying that part of fatherhood: watching my older children transition into adulthood and supporting them during this part of their journey.

How has fatherhood changed you?

Fatherhood calmed my spirit and gave me a greater sense of direction. It clarified my purpose in life. It informed my life’s work to help move children forward. It also helped me understand what I missed by not having my own father and mother present in my life as a child and young adult, and how that affected me. I’ve become a stronger, and more focused, disciplined and very patient person. I love being a dad and partnering with my wife in parenting our children.

What would your ultimate Father’s Day look like? What will your Father’s Day actually look like?

I would travel with my entire family to someplace that we all have dreamed about going together – to the Caribbean, Africa, Australia or France. We have never taken a serious family trip like that together. My wife Lisa and I were young when we started having children. She was 21 and I was 22 when our first child was born. We have five, ranging in age from 10 to 23. Traveling with all of us was too expensive for our budget if it wasn’t by car. My dream is to take a flight somewhere together, and enjoy our time sitting on the beach, swimming, and exploring and learning a new place together.

I don’t know what my Father’s Day will look like because I don’t know what my family has planned for me. But whatever it is, I will enjoy all of us being together; enjoying time together. As our children get older and we get older, time becomes more precious. Soon my children will venture out into the world and develop their own lives and families. I value every moment I have to spend with them, because I know I can’t expect them to be present every Father’s Day in the future. So being together, doing anything, will be great for me.

Do you have any advice for new dads?

Be a real, active father to your children and support your wife…the mother of your children. Raising children is a partnership that requires your presence, participation and authentic expression of love, care and kindness towards your children and their mother. Your children will develop a sense of security based on how you live your life with them. They will understand how to love if you show them and their mother real love. And be prepared to sacrifice for your children. Once you have them, it’s not just about you anymore. They need every amount of time and attention you can give them – not just your money. Don’t just work, come home and talk to your children for a few minutes. Don’t buy them things and think that you are investing in them. Dive into their lives. Help shape and mold them. Have a plan for what and who you want expose them to and how you want to raise them. They will be what they see. Show them first, what a good father looks like. That will carry them further than anything else you could ever do for them.

What have your kids taught you? (Your own and/or the kids at One City)

My children have taught me how important it is to be a father who is present in their lives, and more importantly, what it feels like to have children who love you unconditionally, and love their mother and family, too. I have seen what I didn’t have through my children. I have seen the beauty of having siblings and love them. I have seen through them what that looks like. I have seen what it looks like to have a real bond between mother and child. Our children absolutely adore their mom. And I have learned what they need from me as their father. It’s been a journey and a process, but they have helped make me a better person, and have enriched my life more than anything else I have ever done or will ever do in the future. It’s been an awesome ride and I look forward to how my role as a dad will evolve in the future.

 

The Miracle of Ease

Miracle of Ease sounds like a digestive aid, a joint cream, or a low-impact exercise dance requiring a broomstick skirt. However, the miracle of ease I’m about to describe is a phenomenon in which a new door swings open before you, and the moment you step over the threshold people, funding and resources await you.

I experienced a miracle of ease when I founded Listen To Your Mother. The show came together in a matter of weeks, a venue became available for minimal up-front costs, the talent came in droves, and the audience and press followed suit. I brought LTYM into the world and shaped its fundamental components, but a mighty miracle of ease took over thanks to many capable hands, brilliant minds, and generous connections coming together seemingly effortlessly to catapult LTYM to national stardom. It happened easily quickly and breathlessly when LTYM first took-off. I could hardly keep up, and described it as my legs running miles ahead of my torso. Had this moment of ease–this miracle– not occurred, you can bet LTYM would’ve remained local, comfortably safe, and small.

Mind you, “ease” doesn’t mean easy. Sometimes getting to the door of opportunity requires hours or years of work, plus conquering fears, naysayers and any manner of obstacles. These rare auspicious moments of synchronicity I call “ease” often require personal sacrifice, tough decisions, and demand stretching far beyond our comfort zones to new, foreign and often intimidating terrain.

Ease sometimes reminds me of the effortless chemistry of two people falling in love, or even the early weeks of parenting when you can coast on pure adrenaline, before the darkness of sleep-deprivation takes a toll. Ease comes from a force greater than you and relies on the many helping hands and offerings of others, like the family friends stocking your fridge and your layette. With each tiny moment of burgeoning self-efficacy (diapering! feeding! figuring out that rocking thing to stop 5 minutes of crying!) comes a feeling of new mastery YOU TOTALLY MAYBE HAVE THIS INFANT THING KINDA HANDLED and believe you can and will function on 90 minute increments of sleep indefinitely. Then five weeks later you crash and have to figure out the hard work of sustaining a new being. But for a brief moment you soared. Ease is fleeting and it’s supposed to be.

Ease is a friendly cloud lifting you to your next video game level, giving you a reprieve from your rote trajectory under barrels and over fireballs; boosting you to a higher plane. Yes, that level will eventually present its own obstacles and setbacks, but that’s the life cycle of personal and professional development.

Right now I’m watching ease happen for a couple different people in my life, and it leaves me awestruck to watch stars align–even when they aren’t my stars. My sister and her family recently moved across the country for her new job. They sold their house the week it listed, and found a house in the very competitive Seattle market the following week. Her husband dreamed of returning to the mountains and felt ready to leave his position of many years, and their 16 year old welcomed the idea of a fresh start. The move includes a lot of labor and stress, but all with the clarity of meant to be  and the ease of watching resources and opportunities line up with uncanny timing and abundance.

An online friend of mine who recently completed some award-winning research is being actively recruited for positions that will take her career into the stratosphere, even though she wasn’t even considering leaving her current position. With each interview and application and step in the process it seems so obvious to me that the universe (God, energy, #Convfefe) is leading her into an exciting new chapter. She didn’t even want to do this award-winning research. She planned to take a safe route, and yet she found herself following the more intimidating path with relative ease. Meant to be. Miraculous, really.

Writer Nancy Davis Kho decided to turn her blog and manuscript Midlife Mixtape into a podcast. 2000 downloads later–and with inquiries from literary agents as a result–she continues to find fascinating industry leaders in business entertainment and technology for her guests. Her interviews of these GenEx thought-leaders thriving in midlife are combined with hilarious anecdotes about the music that underscored their journey along the way, and advice for their younger selves. I keep texting and emailing Nancy because seeing this project unfold with such success, I feel like I’m witnessing one of her magical moments of ease, made even sweeter by years of work and investment blogging, freelance writing, attending live music religiously, networking across social media, and shopping a manuscript, only to pay off in an unexpected and delightful iteration that combines all of those elements.

I feel ready for a period of ease. However, ease isn’t necessarily something you can aim for, nor can you inhabit ease forever. The trick lies in noticing when it happens, and maybe–especially when it doesn’t happen. Consider family road trips; you have to plan it and pack the car–often you hit horrendous traffic and someone pukes and everyone fights the whole time, it rains and you cut your trip short only to return home relieved and happy to see your own bed. I can think of several of my pursuits (TV shows! Manuscripts! Going sugar-free!) that began with energy and potential only to falter one way or another and bring back home to start again, regardless of how I fought for them. Other times you make every green light and fly unobstructed across miles of landscape. Someone still pukes but magically you have a plastic bag  at the ready and your kid decides he’s had enough screens and even initiates a conversation. The weather stays sunny and mild, and perhaps a new family tradition is even born. LTYM was that kind of trip–remarkable ease, great company, incredible views– and enough arms and bags to catch the puke along the way.

You can’t chase ease, but you can decide to consciously do the opposite–to stop forcing outcomes. That’s where I am. I’m working on a project I enjoy–completely offline. If it becomes my next thing I will be thrilled. If it doesn’t, I will keep my eyes open for that next cloud– ease–so I can notice where it is, hop on, and rise.

What’s Next?

A last nod to the production office, backstage at the Barrymore Theatre with cast member Vicki Eckman and Madison Co-producer–my friend and lifesaver–Takeyla Benton (photo by Melissa Austin) bonus photobomb by Leslie Coff

As many of you know, last weekend we celebrated the 8th annual and grand finale Madison LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER show.

2017 Madison cast Camille Bernier, Megan Ryan, Madison co-producer Takeyla Benton, me, Claire Weiss, Leslie Coff, Deb Nies, Katie Frank, Vicki Eckman, Jael Currie, Rhenna Widerski, Lisa Bauer and Megan Diaz (and honoring alumni standing below). Photo by Melissa Austin

In fact, in 2017, together with 28 other cities (60+ local women “torchbearer” director/producers, over 350 storytellers and several thousand audience members this year alone) we wrapped a gigantic bow around the entire national project as established in 2010. None of this would’ve been possible without the tremendous support from and leadership of our national team; business strategist Deb Rox, Diversity and Inclusion consultant Taya Dunn Johnson, Returning Cities Mentors Melisa Wells and Stephanie Precourt (also Online Content Manager) and founder/national director, me.

We created this Mother’s Day tradition in Madison. It’s with tremendous pride and gratitude to all of our readers, sponsors, and to all of you who listen with us year after year that we say a fond farewell. Listen To Your Mother has always subscribed to the show biz credo “leave them wanting more” and that’s exactly what we intend to do.

View all of our show photos by Melissa Austin Photography HERE

My children were tots when I created this show, and now they’re not. Life’s seasons spin faster than ever. Thank you for listening with open hearts, laughing with open mouths, and lifting up motherhood with open arms along the way.

 

Moving forward, looking back with love and gratitude (photo, Melissa Austin)

For more information about staying in touch with the Listen to Your Mother Show, subscribe to our newsletter and connect with us @LTYMShow on social media and the LTYM website.

For information on how you can host your own Listen To Your Mother Show in the future, contact Miracle Or 2 Theatrical Licensing

What’s next?

Want one last chance to experience the LTYM phenomenon?? Join me and Madison LTYM alumni Takeyla Benton, Iya Dunni, Melissa Falcon, Nydia Rojas, Opal Ellyse Tomashevska, Nuria Vega, and Michelle Wildgen for a ONE TIME ONLY, FREE encore mini LTYM show THIS THURSDAY MAY 25th, 6:15 PM at American Family Insurance DreamBank. Space is limited, so RSVP to confirm your free admission today.

MOM LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY (All I want for Mother’s Day and a $50 gift card for one of you!) #ShareTheLuv

This post is sponsored by Luvs.

What do I want for Mother’s Day?

 

I’m going to let myself dream here; a dream of Mother’s Day without dirty socks on the couch, wet towels on beds, and entire soccer cleet-prints worth of mud on our floors. I dream I can have this dream without anyone on the internet commenting you’ll miss those socks wet towels  and mud cleet prints one day!! I know. I will! Let’s dream this Mother’s Day and not sob over fleeting youth.

I dream my children will voluntarily lay down their screens, take up fresh air and beg me for a family hike.

I dream for quiet–quiet play, quiet reading, quiet board games–but not the eerily muffled quiet of one boy smothering another boy.

I dream of everything feeling orderly and complete–freshly painted walls, closets purged of plastic fads gone by, self-cleaning windows.

I dream of winning a landscaping lottery that comes with lifetime maintenance included. I don’t need a Koi pond, maybe fewer ant hills and divots smaller than manhole covers.

I dream of a movie everyone wants to watch that does not involve hand-held action vertigo; likely a musical, and likely my family will beg me to sing aloud and please sing even louder, Mom!

I dream my children will use their youtube time not to watch gaming tutorials but bathroom cleaning tutorials. Instead of MOM DID YOU GO TO THE STORE they will greet me with MOM LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY AT SCHOOL, WHAT I LEARNED AND WHO INTERESTS ME IN GREAT DETAIL!

In truth, I already have what I want for Mother’s Day: the golden age of parenting that is toilet-trained children. But for those of you who do not, I give you the next best thing–diaper savings. Luvs knows that parenting can be hard and expensive, so they believe great diapers should also be a great value.

Luvs would like to treat one of my commentors to a $50 AmEx gift card, so leave a comment below for a chance to win. #ShareTheLuv of what you love about mothering or what you’d like for Mother’s Day. Just don’t tell me I’ll miss those socks one day.
For a second chance to win, check out our local Listen To Your Mother director/producers wish lists for Mother’s Day. Find out what they love about being a mom, and leave a comment there too!

In honor of Mother’s Day, Luvs, the official diaper of experienced moms (and dads, too) is sharing the luv and offering a great money-saving opportunity with a $1 print-at-home coupon. Visit http://www.coupons.com/brands/luvs-coupons/ to access a Luvs coupon of $1 off any one diaper pack.Print-at-Home coupons expire 30 days from the date the coupon is printed by the consumer.

In addition, to continue sharing the savings, you can look out for the paper on Sunday, May 28th, for a high-value BrandSaver coupon offering for $2 off any one pack or box of Luvs diapers. The expiration date is 6/10/17.

You can use these coupons at any mass, discount or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold. All Luvs Diapers are included in this particular offer, except trial/travel sized diaper packs.

The official diaper of experienced parents, Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™ are softer and more absorbent than before*, with large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection and a money-back guarantee.  Luvs provides features babies and parents need for less cost than premium brands.

Join me for fun and prizes TONIGHT May 9th for a #SharetheLuv Twitter Party hosted by @iConnectIM and @Luvs Diapers

 

The Ides of Blahhhh

March comes in like a lion–a dirty damp lion named BLAH who blows your neighbor’s recyclables across your muddy excuse for a lawn. March traps your long hair in your car door every time you find the strength to battle the wind tunnel of the grocery store parking lot, after catching your runaway grocery cart and finally seeking refuge in your vehicle. Ha ha on you when you try to check your blind spot.

Last night the wind kept me up in fear that a tree might smash the house and kill us. My lack of sleep obviously served to protect us and our property, as everything big and heavy remains in tact this morning including our heads. Anxiety saves houses and lives!

HAPPY MARCH!! THE IDES OF BLAH!

Will you fight the blah with me? Let’s fight the blah.

If the sun comes out make sure to go stick your face in it. You can even do this inside your home if you have a sunny window.
Buy some fun note cards and ambush a person in your life with a quick HEY or thank you or miss you. Send it to someone for a small delightful act of blah-resistance. 
Watch the movie Sing Street on Netflix. Instant uplift, great music (my 13 year old loved it, too).
Go get a new hairdo or reconfigure your furniture.
Buy yourself a crossword book on paper–or maybe Sudoku or even word-searches.
Make a plan for a walk in a park with your partner or a friend instead of the typically coffee or meal.
Pick three colors that appeal to you and doodle or adult-coloring book for 10 or 15 minutes, while you listen to music. I’ve found limiting myself to three colors helpful, otherwise my picture starts to look butt-ugly and butt-ugly doesn’t relax me.
I listened to LTYM auditions on Sunday and two things crystallized for me: First, we are so. so. hard. on. us.  Second, our innate resilience is extraordinary. Give yourself grace, give others grace, even give your home grace. Now give yourself more grace.
We get to wake up every day and start over. So many of the negative self-critical stories I tell myself about the feelings I think I feel result 95% from exhaustion. Sometimes the best way to fight the blah is found in going to bed early (when the kids do) or in a 20 minute power nap. Fun fact: 20 minutes of deep breathing rejuvenates the body as much as an hour of sleep. Even if you can’t sleep, you can breathe deeply, and here’s my favorite GIF to help you do just that right now as you read this.
Finally two quotes to help beat the Ides of Blah


Why would you wish darkness upon yourself when light shines all around you? — Doreen Virtue
Sometimes that light shining all around you is a crummy walk with a wonderful friend, a Lego dude laying in the mess who gets you, or a cute HEY note card. — Ann Imig

Oh hey! The sun came out. Off to stick my face in it. ♥

 

 

 

Red rover, red rover let something new into your brain and force the crap out

Like many people, the new administration has stressed me out of typical anxiety, past every-so-often feelings of depression, and brought me to the brink of despondency. However, I think I found a way out! While tentative, I think it’s a breakthrough worth sharing, in case it helps anyone else.

I’m no stay-at-home brain scientist, but I do have a few weeks anecdotal evidence to share (which does not a sound-experiment make–sorry, graduate school). After feeling very low for weeks at a time, I noticed that even while running or doing yoga, spending time with loved ones, working– or any number of the things that typically help keep me balanced and healthy– my inner-dialogue kept returning to self-criticism and low mood even during said pleasurable activities. I was 24/7 11s on the brow, agitated and tearful.

Prompted by a friend, I began considering a new writing project–writing not about parenting, not LTYM related, and not a topic I’ve exhausted over 9 years on the internet.  The idea gave me a brief surge of adrenaline to the extent that I told a few friends about it–atypical for me, given my preference of completing things before I even whisper a word of their existence.

At the end of my next run, I realized I’d thought about this new project the entire time. For 60 minutes I wondered, considered, and dreamed with no negativity or fear. For 60 minutes I felt lightness, creativity and curiosity without any interference by anger, fear, or my personal favorite “not enough” perfectionism (which translates effortlessly to any and every. single. area. of my life).

By starting something new, I broke through the negative chatter playing Red Rover across my limbic system. I experienced a release from depression–a lift and relief that has kept me afloat and given my brain something new to play on the playground. Also, having a new idea take up residence in my brain conveniently takes space and time away from my addiction to the news cycle.

If you feel low, noticing that all of your thoughts seem to cycle back to some form of despair, why not give this a try? Start a new practice, project, hobby, exercise–whatever–but it has to be NEW; something totally different than you’ve done before. Also, choose something that won’t drive you ego-crazy; something light that interests you, that can keep you enthused and fuel your curiosity. Finally, it’s vital that you dedicate yourself to the process OVER the end product, so you don’t give up when you face the inevitable “is this any good” resistance. Promise yourself upfront you’ll see the process through, regardless of your opinion about what you think it is and what if any merit it possesses. I promise you–I promise me–I’m going to finish this new manuscript, even if I never mention it here or to you, ever again. Red rover red rover, let good come over and go away forever. Good shmood.

Wait..ummm Ann–isn’t a writing project something totally ego-driven for you? Yes and no. Yes because I’d love to have this project turn into something, but no because I’m clear that for now the process of simply doing the work takes precedent over what it might become. I’m not in a rush to get to the finish line, because I see how the journey is good for my brain right now. I’m also approaching this writing project in a new/different way, with the open mind of a novice structural engineer endeavoring to build something solid, rather than a jaded interior decorator with a tropical-print papasan chair who waltzes in with matching curtains/bedspread/wallpaper already picked out. Pretty.

Doing something new opened a door in my head, and I’m taking my time swinging around this jungle gym instead of short-circuiting around the same tired negative Red Rover feedback loops. I’m glad I told a few people what I’m doing, because staying true to my word is an efficient motivator for me. If you want to dedicate yourself to a practice and maybe have a breakthrough, feel free to use me as an accountability partner. Message me on facebook or leave a comment below. OMG I’m not selling you anything I promise, except for a spectacular Red Rover metaphor.

Updates!

We announced auditions for my last LTYM Madison, and I sure hope you’ll give us one last chance to hear your story!

 

It’s now or never to participate in the original project as founded in Madison, but not necessarily never-forever because LTYM is getting a new life in 2018 through Miracle Or Two Theatrical Productions (which you can read about here).

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Here’s something funny/tragic I wrote to cope with the impending demise of our public school system. Enjoy/sob:

DeNew Math from De New Administration!