Kayla I. Shown-Dean's Blog, page 62

Snow Day

Better Together

This week is the final edition of the journey into my past through song. Thanks for joining me this month; I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have.

Our last song is “Better Together” by Jack Johnson, and I believe this song (lyrics, rhythm and all) completely encapsulates what it means to be a couple. It was true when we had been dating for a lengthy period of time, and now, after nearly six years of marriage (10 years of being a couple), it still remains true. And what couple doesn’t relate to at least one Jack Johnson song?

When I hear this song though, I think of the everyday: running the errands together, going to college, cleaning house, and sinking into the couch for a movie after a long day at work. While I can do all of these things on my own, it’s just so much better to do them together.

Playing into True Love

Next in my True Love playlist is fellow writer, blogger, and teacher, Katharine Trauger. (Wow, Katharine, I had no idea that we had so much in common.)

Katharine makes her blogging home at Home’s Cool and The Conquering Mom–which both have lots of interesting advice for homeschooling and stay-at-home mommies. Personally, I think Katharine is a wonderful story-teller with beautiful stories to tell. But I’ll let you all be the judge of that. I hope you enjoy her True Love Tribute: Playing into True Love.

~*~

How did I know? How did I find the man of my dreams?

As if looking for an outfit that I could not imagine, I told myself, “I’ll know him when I see him.”

I hoped I was right.

The first time I saw him, he was sitting down. I was standing up, and I was not impressed.

It was a homecoming float decorating meeting, and I’d had some responsibilities in that barn where that flatbed was stored, and when I turned around, all available seats were taken.

Then it happened. He offered me the upturned bucket he was using for a seat and I was impressed, after all.

And he sure was good-looking!

Thus began many days of talking, talking, talking. We ate out once a week because I had to miss dinner when I tutored. We stood in sheltered places on campus to keep warm in the winter blasts. We tried to find acceptable pass times and finally thought of playing chess together.

It delighted me that he was intelligent, that he enjoyed playing chess. I was not very good at it, although I’d taught all my siblings how to play. But I was attracted to this intelligence that would prefer doing something mentally difficult for fun.

That’s when I knew. I knew he could easily be the one, but not because of playing chess. It was because of the chess board he brought with him that night.

You see, I was raised very poor. My folks had little to go on and every cent I got, I earned myself. We had no hot water tank. One door in our car had to be tied shut for safety.

That poor.

I was looking for a guy who could, first, accept me within my poverty, and second, deliver and keep me from ever going back into it. I did not know how to attract such a man, though, since I was sunk so deeply in poverty, myself.

Who would have a poor girl? The question plagued me.

When I met this, my future husband, I quickly learned he was strong, self-motivated, farm-orientated, and smart. That told me he knew how to survive. But because I perceived him as having come from wealth, he scared me, actually.

Until I saw the chess board.

On our first ever chess-playing night out, the board he brought was made of cardboard, drawn, literally on the side of a box with felt tip pen. And the pen had run out of ink, so some of the black squares were only briefly scribbled, not really blackened. Not only that, but the chess playing pieces were the dime-store kind a person could pick up for $1.50.

When I saw all that, I knew. Here was a man who I thought could have anything and chose to save money by drawing a chess board on a side of a box.

I loved that chess board. It spoke to me. It told me this man would not care if my folks were “that poor”. This man would understand the lack of hot water in our home. He would understand the poverty. In fact, I suspected there was a background of wisdom and training born of poverty in this man. I suspected we might share the same goals of lifting each other out.

From that night, on, I looked at him differently. He no longer was a “maybe”; he’d become a “must be”.

Although no one can know the future, I knew that if all went normally, I’d never be totally poverty-stricken again. I knew he’d work hard to make what he needed. I knew he’d turn down expensive frills for a sensible lifestyle. I knew he’d be smart about money.

Besides that, he grew up around home canning, home-sewn clothing, and eating whatever was set before him. I was sure this was going to be very good.

And I was right.

We have enough; we save; we do not go without any thing of great importance. We work hard for everything but the wealth here is not measured only in dollar signs. There is a great wealth, in my heart, of knowing he’s the one. He’s always been the one. He’s taken good care of me all these years and I’ve been blessed.

He’d wanted to be rich someday, and that has never really happened, but there is a wealth that goes beyond dollars.

How I knew it would turn out this way, I do not know. A chess board? It cannot have been that. It was an attitude that went along with it and matched what I hungered for. It was a drive to do one’s best, a big drive to be the most he possibly could, for me.

I knew it when I saw that board.

Now we’re old.

He’s made us many things since then, furniture, cabinetry, and even including a chess board made of plywood that we play on occasionally.

I’m still not a very good player.

But I was right.

And let me ask you this: Who else in history won His Bride by arriving humbly, accepted her in spite of her poverty, rescued her from it, and has kept her faithfully ever since?

Katharine Trauger  is a retired educator and a women’s counselor. She and her husband spent 25 years running a home and school for children who would otherwise have been homeless. She has worked 15 years as contributor and/or columnist for several small professional magazines, with over 60 published articles. She blogs about the rising popularity of “being at home” from a sun room on a wooded hilltop in the Deep South at: Home’s Cool! and The Conquering Mom and tweets at Katharine Trauger (@KathaTrau). She is currently working on a self-help book entitled: Yes, It Hurts, But . . .

A blurred vision

Come On Get Higher

Welcome back to the musical journey through my relationship. This is another song that was “instrumental” to my personal love story. When my husband and I were planning our wedding, I had my heart set on dancing our first dance to the song, “When God Made You” by Newsong. My husband, on the other hand, wanted to dance to the 2009 hit love song “Come on Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson. To say I was sooooo against it doesn’t even begin to convey how much I did not want to dance to that song. Besides, I picked out my husband-and-wife-first-dance song lightyears before he did.

But the day before our wedding, I had an epiphany: it was his wedding too, and as long as I was dancing with him, it didn’t matter what song we danced to.

So I grabbed the DJ and switched out the songs without Preston knowing about it. The day of the wedding, we took our places for the first dance. When the DJ hit play, Preston just beamed and pulled me close to him. It was one of the best surprises I’ve given him.

True Love: High School Sweethearts!

Happy Valentines Day to all of my readers! For those of you who have been following my blog this month, you know that our theme for the month is TRUE LOVE. Today, you are in for a special treat as Renee Birchfield from marriedandhungryblog.blogpost.com will be sharing her own personal love story. I hope you all enjoy the story of her journey to her one true love as much as I do.

~*~

Hi everyone I’m so excited to share our love story with you today. It all started back in high school; yup we are high school sweet hearts but only barely. We had the same math class senior year, and I had been on again off again with this other guy, but the last month or so of class a connection was made. We were in the same group, and the majority of the time we were in that group we weren’t that fond of each other. He had had a girlfriend, and being the great guy he is wouldn’t talk to me other than about math, and it bothered me that he didn’t seem to like me. Later, they broke up, and we became better acquaintances and were in class on an assignment together in our group and were using his book. When the bell rang, I grabbed the book thinking it was mine and went about my business. That night I realized it was his and went to text him to let him know I had it but realized I did not have his number. I let him know the next day when we got to class, about ten minutes into class he slipped me a piece of paper with his number, “So it won’t happen again.” as he put it. (I still have that slip of paper) I sent him a text so he would have my number and that day was the beginning of a text conversation that has yet to end.

A week or so later he asked me to go to a movie together, it took a bit of convincing to go for it from my friends, but I decided to go with him. That night he arrived to the theater before me and had bought the tickets! Now this may seem like a no-brainer, but being in high school and dating some not so stellar guys, this was the first time someone had bought my ticket to a movie. I had the best time at that movie, and we stayed for over an hour talking in the parking lot; it was great. We had two other dates all fun and great. On that third date we went to a local park and found baseballs and had our first kiss. A few days later he asked me to be his girlfriend in a McDonald’s parking lot; I, of course, said yes.

We dated all through college, and during our senior year, he took me on a date that I would never forget. We went to that local park that we had had so many great walks in, and we walked around again. We went up to our spot by the tennis courts to sit on a hill right where that first kiss happened. This man who I had grown up with been through so much with and loved more than anything started talking about all the great times we had and how great we were together. Me thinking he was just being sweet said something along the lines of this would be the things to say when you propose, ( yes I knew it was going to happen some point soon). As we decided it was time to head back to the car, I got up, but he was not next to me. I turned and saw him. He was down on one knee, looking at me with a beautiful ring in his hand and a glow on his face. He asked the question that I will only hear once, and it was perfect. I said yes and took the ring and put it on. Yes I know I should have let him put it on, but I was not about to let him take it back haha. It was amazing and 9 months later we had a beautiful wedding, exactly 4 years and 2 months from the day we became a couple.

It is now 7 months later. It has been the best 7 months of our lives, we moved away from home, started jobs and grown as a couple. I am so glad and blessed to have him as my husband. This love story was written by God; there is no denying it. We have been through a lot together that should have broken us, but we never let go. We never gave up, and our love was always stronger for it as well.

Thank you so much for letting me share my story with you. I hope you enjoyed it!

Renee discusses her favorite parts of life over at Married and Hungry. Upon getting married and finding very few tips online on being a new wife she decided that she would share her journey. Being a self-proclaimed food nerd she shares her favorite recipes as well. Also while trying to become craftier she even shares her Pinterest craft trials. You can keep up with her at @marriedanhungry over on Twitter, and Married and Hungry’s Facebook page.

Through the trees…

I’m so in love…

…with this song. It means so much to me personally.

When my husband and I were only dating, I went by his house one day to pick him up for work. I let myself in as usual, and Preston led me to the couch on which was placed a small gift. It was an IPOD. I was so excited because this was actually my FIRST IPOD!! But then he said, “That’s not the whole gift. Turn it on.” I did; there was one song on the IPOD, Blue October’s “Calling You”. Then, he said, “This song is how I feel about you.” That was probably one of the sweetest gifts he ever gave me.

I walked down the aisle to this song on our wedding day, still thinking of that day two years before when he gave me this gift.

It wasn’t until years later that I saw the music video and heard one man’s testimonial for the love of his daughter in the video’s beginning. Then, I realized that this song is easily applicable to all kinds of love, which only makes me love this song even more. Be sure and stay tuned for next week’s post as we continue to journey through my musical past.

Also be sure to check out my post, and all the other love-themed posts, on Arkansas Women Bloggers.

Looking Back To Before You Came Into My Life

 

I’m sure by now every one has heard (and probably have even been annoyed by) Carly Rae Jebson’s song “Call Me Maybe”.

I heard it for the first time about two or three years ago when my husband went on a youth trip to Atlanta. The youth group introduced him to it over the week, and he came back singing it in the car, around the house, and even in the shower. But have we ever really listened to it?

One of the song’s downfalls, I believe, is its catchy tune. While its a good way to sell records–and get a song stuck into your head, it’s also a good way to skim right over the meaning behind the lyrics, and I think this song has some pretty powerful lyrics. For example, I would NEVER “trade my soul for a wish” or “pennies and dimes for a kiss”–I mean, isn’t that prostitution? That’s illegal!

But I’m not here to focus on the bad lyrical choices in this song; instead, I want to focus on the good. One in particular would be the line,  “Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.” After I noticed this line, I thought to myself, “What does that mean?”

Then I thought back to all those times as a teenager I wished for someone–not just to love me, but to get me, someone who would completely understand me. You remember those nights of staying up late watching chic flicks dreaming of a love like Rose and Jack’s (Titanic)? My friends and I sang love songs to our stuffed animals and filled notebooks with love poems and letters all addressed to the person of our dreams, all the while hoping he was real.

Then I met him, and we did fall in love and get married and have kids and a house and a job and all the bills, stress, and insanity that goes with it–all those things that cause us to lash out at one another and threaten to break a marriage down.

I think sometimes we just have to remember what is was like before.

We need to remember that longing…and that feeling of falling in love.

We need to remember: “before [our significant others] came into [our] lives, [we] missed [them] so bad.”

From my Perspective…

 

Also, be sure to check out my poetry today on Short Fiction Break!!!