David Dye's Blog, page 52

Leading Through Ambiguity with Dr. Debbie Sutherland

Have you ever been faced with a puzzling pattern of events, been stuck in a confusing situation, or felt trapped by your own routine thinking patterns? Or have you wondered about how you think and make decisions during messy and unexpected situations? Then you’re familiar with the challenges of leading through ambiguity.

In this episode, Dr. Debbie Southerland gives you five key thinking and behavior strategies to explore business uncertainties and build an ambiguity mindset. Using research and powerful real-life stories from dozens of executives whose roles involve a high degree of ambiguity, Dr. Sutherland provides tools, resources, and insights to help you increase your comfort with the unknowns. If you are a business leader who wants to expand your thinking and ability to lead through ambiguity, someone who wants to explore a knowing gap in life or business, this episode is for you.

Leading Through Ambiguity

2:23 – The Business of Ambiguity is backed by an incredible amount of research and interviewing as well as being very practical.

7:05 – The frustrations and observations that led Dr. Sutherland to research ambiguity and ultimately write the book

11:34 – What is ambiguity

12:07 – Why ambiguity is stressful and how it causes some leaders to “lose their soul” when leading through ambiguity

14:07 – Change is a constant

17:14 – The critical role of reflection and thinking about the whole system as you lead through ambiguity

18:10 – Individual behavior is a function of the system they’re in

19:27 – How building connectivity throughout the business helps everyone navigate the challenges of ambguity

22:05 – How leaders can avoid getting stuck in the trap of their own competence

24:14 – How to create the deep networks that help you lead effectively

26:56 – A practical activity to help you build your self-awareness

27:49 – The role of objective post-project reflection

32:34 – How to develop comfort with the unknown (a key characteristic for leading through ambiguity.)

Connect with Debbie

Twitter

LinkedIn

Instagram

Get the book

The post Leading Through Ambiguity with Dr. Debbie Sutherland appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

How do we grow leaders as teachers? (Video) with Dr. Sydney Finkelstein

As you know, I’m really passionate about growing leaders. And, we always build a “leaders as teachers” component into our leadership and development programs. In fact, we’re delighted to be speaking on this topic at the ATD conference in Orlando this May. If you’re going to be there too, let us know.

That’s why I was delighted to read Dr. Sydney Finklestein’s Harvard Business Review article, The Best Leaders are Great Teachers. I immediately got a copy of Dr. Finklestein’s book, Super Bosses, and invited him on Asking For a Friend to talk about how to grow leaders as teachers.

How Do We Grow Leaders as Teachers (highlights and excerpts)

1:40 Source of inspiration

Going back to simple lessons about life such as moving slower. Taking time to really talk with people. Taking a breath.

3:00 What is a “Superboss”?

A Superboss is a leader who creates other leaders.
They have a track record of generating and regenerating talent.
And most importantly, a Superboss is a teacher.

3:54 Three categories of Superbosses

Iconoclast
Creative people who create a following because of their deep talent.
They are leader teachers because they create an environment of interaction and collaboration.

Glorious Bastard
They really want to win. AND, they know they need to surround themselves with superstar talent to make that happen.

If working for a glorious bastard, you have to be all in. The payoff can be big though tough. The career acceleration can be extreme.

Nurturer
This is who most of us think about when we think of a leader as teacher. This is the leader who really cares about you – who wants you to get better.

8:15 How does a Superboss unleash constant creativity in their team?

1. Model creativity and innovation
2. Allow people to fail for the right reasons
3. Create a culture of experimentation

10:30 Discussing clarity and curiosity (innovation) using quotes from Sydney’s book

“Employees cannot innovate in meaningful ways unless they have a frame in which to work – and the Superbosses’ fundamental vision provides that grounding.”

Superbosses are uncompromisingly open. Uncompromising about the vision, but open to ideas within that vision.

“When Superbosses hire employees they implicitly invite them to buy into their vision and become part of the revolution. But they also invite them to buy into the mindset of openness and innovation that made that vision possible in the first place.”

They have an entrepreneurial mindset, always on the lookout for great, untapped talent. They notice underlying skill sets in people no matter the job they currently have.

16:40 Leaders as teachers – How can I be a leader/teacher?

A hallmark of a Superboss is to be a teacher.
This happens in an organic manner, often informally.
They are willing to go the extra step.
They continue to learn themselves.

Superbosses teach professionalism, points of craft, and life lessons which include elements such as:

How you carry yourself
How you communicate, sell, prepare for meetings
Grounding in integrity and ethics
Mindset of innovation
Continuous learning (which provides you more to teach.)

21:48 Practical Techniques for Leaders as Teachers

1. Customize how you work with people on your team. Recognize differences and adapt your approach accordingly.
2. Create opportunities for learning. (This requires delegation.) Find what each member of the team can excel at.

25:47 What if being a Superboss doesn’t come naturally?

The follow-up book, The Superboss Playbook, has exercises that can help develop these skills.
Anyone can learn. You have to want to. Have a mindset of giving people guidelines and see what they come up with. Superbosses tend to be 50/50 introvert/extravert.

28:30 Final thoughts about Leaders as Teachers

We only get one shot at being a leader. Why wouldn’t we want to be the best we can be?

Your turn. What’s your best practice for being a leader teacher?

The post How do we grow leaders as teachers? (Video) with Dr. Sydney Finkelstein appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

How to Help Your Team Think Bigger

Help your team think bigger by engaging, equipping, and encouraging.

The other day we were chatting with a group of senior leaders deeply committed to building a courageous culture. They shared a frustration we hear all the time: “Our managers think too small! How do we help people REALLY CONSIDER what they’re doing–to look for better ways to work smarter? They do their work, but we can’t seem to help them think bigger.”

“We’re encouraging people to share their thoughts,” they continued. “They must have ideas that would make their work easier or help our customers but so far, no one’s said anything.”

Help them think bigger by engaging.

Helping your team think bigger will take time, so you want to start by engaging them in the process.

When you have a team of “the best damn doers” it’s not realistic to expect an overnight change in their thinking or behavior. They’ve had success doing what they know how to do, they feel competent at it, and it’s comfortable. For many people, competence and contentment are significant motivators.

It’s also what’s been expected. Many organizations have invested lots of time identifying the critical behaviors that everyone must do it achieve success. Asking teams or leaders to consider deviating from those activities naturally causes concern. And yet, the dance between clarity and curiosity is critical to continued relevance and growth.

Why do we do what we do?

You can start helping a team of doers think bigger by engaging in conversations that redefine what success looks like. Success isn’t completing a task, it’s achieving an outcome. Engage the team in these conversations to build shared ownership about the outcomes.

A note here: this conversation doesn’t undermine the importance of leading indicators or success behaviors. The goal is to pull back the curtain and reconnect what everyone does to why it matters. In our effort to make success easier, a tunnel-vision focus on success behaviors can shut down curiosity and creativity.

Finally, a critical part of this “what success looks like” conversation is that we regularly examine what we’re doing to see if there might be better ways to achieve our outcomes.

How do we do what we do?

Once you and your team have clarified what success looks like in terms of the outcomes you want to achieve, then it’s time to turn the focus back to tasks and activities.

Engage the team in a conversation about how they achieve those outcomes. What are they doing now that works? Is there anything they’re doing right now that doesn’t work?

This is a great time to introduce a courageous question. Choose one specific area of work and ask for a single way to improve. For example, “Thinking about our customer service experience, what is one way we might get our customer an accurate answer faster than we do today?”

Help them think bigger by equipping.

Once you and the team have re-examined and aligned on your critical behaviors, everyone will get back to work and back to “doing.” Now it’s time to equip the team to think bigger in the course of their normal work.

There are two ways to equip your team to think beyond “doing.”

1. Give them time to think.

Look at people’s schedules and the number of tasks (including meetings) that occupy their day. Will it take all the self-discipline and willpower they can muster to barely succeed at what’s on their plate?

It’s almost impossible to think bigger when you’re in survival mode. Thinking takes time.

If swamped is the norm for your team, think about small ways to introduce more white space and margin in your days. (And be aware of your example here – you may need to lead yourself before you can help your team.)

You might create structured thinking time through a regular “Why Week.” Introduce a process or task at the beginning of the week. Schedule 30 minutes each day for the team to discuss one question:

Why do we do this?Who is it for?What is it for?Is it working?What’s one way we could improve it?2. Give them tools to think.

You can also equip people to think bigger by giving them specific ways to do it. The “Why Week” is one example. Other tools include:

Own the U.G.L.Y. conversations that reveal opportunitiesThe I.D.E.A. Model to think through and qualify ideasStrategic Empowerment to help people know where to focus their creativity and solutionsAn invitation to take the customer’s perspective.Help them think bigger by encouraging.

When you first ask your team to think about how to improve processes or make things work better, you might not get an answer right away. It can take time for people to process and then take the risk of speaking up.

What they need now is continuous encouragement to think bigger.

Eventually, someone will make a suggestion. Everyone is watching to see if you really meant it and you’ll get more of what you encourage and celebrate. Thank them for their idea. Follow up and encourage them to elaborate, ask if anyone can expand on it, add to it, or if it sparks another thought.

As you and your team go about daily work, be on the lookout for opportunities to encourage bigger thinking. For example, if there’s an outcome you didn’t achieve despite the team doing all the “right” things, it’s an opportunity to examine what happened.

Was it the right goal? Are these the right activities to get there? Was it perhaps a successful failure (where you didn’t achieve the outcome for a healthy reason)?

As you reinforce the opportunities for bigger thinking and celebrate when it happens, you’ll build momentum and your team’s confidence in thinking beyond their immediate tasks.

Your Turn to Help Your Team Think Bigger

Helping your team or organization stay relevant and effective requires an elegant dance between clarity and curiosity.

For teams who have found success in clarity, it will take time to help them develop a regular cadence of curiosity. You can help your team think bigger by engaging in conversation about what they do and why they do it, equipping your team with time and tools, and encouraging everyone as they contribute.

We’d love to hear from you—how do you help your team to look beyond that task at hand?

 

The post How to Help Your Team Think Bigger appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Making Virtual Work with Betty Johnson, Ph.D.

Have you or your team felt the drain from virtual work? In this episode, author Betty Johnson reveals the voices of real virtual workers. They say it’s people, not cameras, that create “Zoom fatigue.” Through their verbatim words, Dr. Johnson illuminates how you can stop doing the things that wear down virtual work and what you can start doing—right now—so that virtual meetings cease to be an exhausting, time-consuming pain. So that virtual work works. For everyone.

Learn precisely how to do what virtual workers implore you to do. How to get more done in less time. How to enable the sorts of relationship-building they need to carry them through tough times. How to enable authenticity, inclusion, agency, and equity. How to maximize their talents and wisdom so you and they become more successful.

Making Virtual Work

07:14
The most significant measure of whether you’re a mediocre leader or a great leader is not how smart you are. It’s not how driven you are. It’s not even how innovative you are.

07:33
What is the greatest measure of your worth as a leader?

15:58
Listening for the emotion that’s in someone’s complaint.

18:24
Reflect, connect, and then action; do what they need to make things better.

31:42
Lack of inclusion wears people out.

32:30
How service acting is a form of emotional labor and highly correlated with emotional exhaustion.

35:57
Every minute spent feeling useless, instead of useful in terms of getting their job done, building relationships, growing their career, is wearing.

 

 

Connect with Betty Johnson, Ph.D.

LinkedIn

Get the Book

The post Making Virtual Work with Betty Johnson, Ph.D. appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Career Growth: How to Be More Creative as You Develop Your Team (Video)

Beyond the Climb: 7 Additional Dimensions to Career Growth

As a human-centered leader, you truly care about your team and their career growth. But what if promotional opportunities are limited, or you have team members who are just not interested in taking on more?

In this “Asking for a Friend”, I talk with Julie Winkle Giulioni, author of Promotions are So Yesterday, about the multiple dimensions of career growth.

Alternative Career Growth Options: Beyond the Climb

Navigating the Career Growth Conversation (with timestamps)Source of Inspiration

1:30 What has been one source of inspiration/strength for you?
Family, friends, frontline workers – the grace I’ve seen extended among human beings.

Three Questions

2:45 How do you build careers and develop employees when promotions and opportunities are limited? Three questions Julie used in her research:
What does career growth mean to employees?
How do people want to grow?
What’s available in organizations to help people grow?

Eight Dimensions

4:15 While “climb” is one way employees want to develop, Julie discovered seven other dimensions to career growth.

ContributionCompetenceConnectionConfidenceChallengeContentmentChoice

In aggregate, all seven of the dimensions other than climb were more interesting to people, with
contribution and competence consistently at the top. “Climb” is consistently at the bottom.

Helping Your Organization See the Value of Other Dimensions of Development

6:08 How do you help an organization to see and appreciate the other elements as ways to encourage growth?
These dimensions lead to a more abundant mindset. Encourage leaders to expand their definition of career development. Emphasize that these other dimensions are things that CAN be done whereas a promotion may not be available. Use the information to empower.

Is “Climb” is Losing Its Luster?

8:30 Why is “climb” losing its luster?
It may be more that it was the only thing on the menu. Having other dimensions creates an expanded vocabulary for career development.
Employees are savvy and often see that the life of a manager is not always pleasant and is often challenging or even daunting.
People are reprioritizing the relationship they want with work. They may not want additional stress, but tend to still want to grow.

Confidence / Meaning / Timing

10:25 Is confidence regarding the role or outside the role?
Both. Managers will do well to personalize this to the particular employee.

12:50 It’s never worth the extra money/prestige if you don’t love the work itself.
People are looking for meaning.

16:30 What if you have a “climber” who is not ready to move up?
Our default setting is to climb. With the expanded menu, managers can have a deeper conversation to find out what’s animating the desire to climb, and find other ways to boost and develop the person on the road to a new role.

13:44 How do managers help their team consider these other dimensions?
Use self-assessments to jumpstart the conversation
Link to Julie’s assessment: https://www.juliewinklegiulioni.com/b...

19:00 A quick look at Let’s Grow Leaders’ Confidence/Competent Model

Connection and Networking

19:37 Connection
Facilitate connection through the work people are doing.
Invite people to create and learn together.
Be strategic about how you organize the work to build connection. (It builds development organically.)
Encourage people to share their growth goals with one another.

23:52 Strategic Networking
Think about peers: Do you have an encourager? Do you have a challenger?
Develop a collaborative rather than competitive environment.

Measuring: A New Way of Gathering Numbers

25:07 What strategies do you recommend for internal measurements where metrics traditionally defined success?
Redefine the metrics. i.e. the number of people who have expressed interest in other dimensions, the quality of conversations between managers and team, etc.
Shift from meaningless numbers to meaningful, qualitative, and reflective numbers that look at the quality of relationships.

Contentment? Really?

27:34 Contentment
Contentment is not synonymous with complacency.
Contentment includes acknowledging that we will be working for a long time. We can’t climb constantly.
How can I do things with great joy, ease, meaning?

Last Piece of Advice

30:35 Last piece of advice
Start by taking the free self-assessment to reveal more about yourself and how you may want to grow.

Related Asking for a Friend Episodes on Career Growth

If you enjoy this Asking for a Friend video, you might also enjoy this article which includes an interview with Julie “How to Develop People When You Don’t Have the Time.”

And this conversation with April Rinne about building a “portfolio career.”

And you may also find our Developmental Discussion Planner handy as you help your team have deeper development conversations. 

The post Career Growth: How to Be More Creative as You Develop Your Team (Video) appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

The Simplest Way to Get Better Results From Your Team (with Video)

How I Learned the Secret to Better Results the Hard Way

Before I share this secret to getting better results, I’d like you to think back to your senior year in high school. Do you remember being really sensitive to all the “lasts?”

The last big game. The last show you were in. Or, the last summer night before you and your friends all went their separate ways?

Well, it was my son Ben’s last marching band game of the season his senior year in high school, and he had invited me to come to take pictures—which is a great job for me. I love my son. I’m feeling all the mom feels of a kid getting ready to graduate and go off to school. And, I love photography.  I’m highly motivated to do a great job.

No one needs to convince me to get better results. I’m on it.

So I’m pulling into the stadium and I can hear the cadence of the marching band coming around the track …

Actually, I think this story will be more fun if I tell it to you this way:

Communicating Clear Expectations is Not Micro-Managing, It’s Empowering

If you want to empower your team to find more creative ways to get better results, start by defining success.

My guess is you don’t need more ideas of what needs to be accomplished. You’ve already got a long list of the most important things.

You know your “guitar.” But what you DO NEED is for your team to share their ideas of how to get there faster with better quality.

One of the biggest mistakes we see well-intentioned human-centered leaders make is to under-communicate their expectations. They assume their team SHOULD know what matters most and why. They could get better results if they were more clear about what matters most.

One good conversation about expectations not only prevents fourteen “Why didn’t you?” conversations, it also reduces ambiguity and frees up time and energy for more creative solutions.

Your turn. What’s your best secret for encouraging better results?

Additional Resources to Get Better at Setting Clear Expectations

How to Reset Performance Expectations For Better Results

Check for Understanding: A Leadership Communication Best Practice

Leadership Skills: 6 Competencies You Can’t Lead Without

 

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The Manager’s Playbook with Joel Trammell and Alicia Thrasher

Have you worked in an organization that suffers from a crisis of management and leadership? Then you know how important it is to have a Manager’s Playbook. Under-trained and under-equipped, many great people have turned out to be not-great managers and their employees and companies’ bottom lines are suffering the consequences.

In this episode, David talks with Joel Trammell and Alicia Thrasher, co-authors of The Manager’s Playbook, about the massive difference that simple management and leadership competencies make—for employees, for bosses, and for companies at large. Training great managers with a consistent system for delivering results is one of the fastest ways to gain a competitive advantage. Tune in and get the five fundamental skills all great managers and leaders master, from motivating people to developing self-awareness.

The Manager’s Playbook with Joel Trammell and Alicia Thrasher

11:55
Five competencies that define good management.

16:58
What are some of the common mistakes that people make with authenticity and leaders’ communication?

27:45
One of the five fundamental competencies that makes good managers is awareness. What are we talking about with awareness?

35:10
Leadership is your ability to influence people to eagerly follow your direction.

37:27
Some of the misconceptions about coaching – and why coaching is one of a manager’s critical responsibilities.

41:20
A manager’s work involves three elements: planning, execution, and growing.

45:40
What does it mean to empower the highly talented people you’ve brought on board and how do great managers empower their teams and their people?

Connect with Joel

Website

Connect with Alicia

LinkedIn

Twitter

 

The post The Manager’s Playbook with Joel Trammell and Alicia Thrasher appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Employee Growth: How to Better Support Team Member Development

Exploring the S Curve of Employee Growth

In this week’s Asking for a Friend, I speak with Whitney Johnson, author of Smart Growth, about how to support your team along the S curve of employee growth.

When I read Whitney’s new book, I was struck by how her model reflected my own journey of taking the leap from Verizon Wireless executive to entrepreneur.

You’ll want to watch the interview, particularly if you, or someone you care about, feel called to take on a new challenge, or are particularly stuck or stagnating in your career.

The S Curve of Employee Growth

Whitney talks about three main phases of growth: the launch phase, sweet spot, and mastery. In the launch phase, you take on the role of “explorer” and “collector,”—you’re not committed to taking on a new challenge full steam at this point. But, you’re learning about the possibilities of this new adventure and if it’s right for you.

Then in the sweet spot, you learn fast and your performance accelerates. Key roles in this phase of the game are “accelerator” and “metamorph,” where you BECOME your aspiration.  This all makes real sense to me. I distinctly remember that moment I realized I was doing more than writing, I had become a writer.

And in the final phase, mastery, you’re confident and tested, and beginning to look around for what’s next (the next S curve for your personal or employee growth.

Bonus Track: Six Questions to Ask Yourself in the “Explorer” Phase

As I was reading Whitney’s book, I kept smiling through the “six questions to ask yourself in the explorer phase.”

So as a “Bonus Track” I share them as it relates to the “explorer” journey I began a decade ago, which turned into Let’s Grow Leaders (if you’re just tuning in here’s the backstory with a side of love story.)

As it turns out these are almost the exact questions  I asked myself at that time.

1. Is it achievable?

Once my leadership blog started gaining traction, I began paying attention to who else was in this human-centered leadership space. I reached out to every leadership blogger I could—talking with them about their approach, their challenges, and most importantly, what they were doing that led to success. As I found my human-centered leadership voice, I began to more fully understand my unique gifts and what differentiated me from others in this space. That discovery brought confidence. 

2. Is it easy to test?

Apparently, this one came from my subconscious. I was exploring before I was exploring. When I started my Let’s Grow Leaders blog on Sunday morning, I had no intention of testing my ability to start an international leadership development company. I just knew I had something to say, and began to write it down.

The funny part of this story is that I “shipped my art” (my really crappy first blog) to Seth Godin that morning. AND HE WROTE BACK.

I will never forget that generosity of encouragement to get me started.

3. Is it familiar, yet novel?

One hundred percent. The first decade of my career (and all my formal education) was about leadership development and communication. AND then, I became a large team operations leader. I’ve lived what I yearned to teach. I had taught leadership decades before in my HR roles. I knew how to build and operationalize high-quality leadership programs (and sell them internally to internal stakeholders).  And also importantly, I knew how to measure their impact on bottom-line business results.

4. Does it fit my identity?

Totally. And, I had to laugh, at age 22 I thought I was ready to start my own LLC (called values and visions).  I didn’t have the education, experience, or skills to do that … YET …  Although, I just checked my tax returns. I netted $500 in that endeavor 😉

5. Is the pursuit worth the cost?

Every single human I talked with told me the financial risks were insane. (Except for one random dude who came up to me after a keynote I gave that first year. He challenged my, “I’m prepared to make less to pursue my dream,” with “Why do you assume that?”  He was right.)

But the truth is, I was prepared to sacrifice some financial security to make a deeper impact on the world. And it was really hard the first few years. There were many days I wasn’t sure it would work. I gave myself a “How much I’m willing to lose?” deadline (I came within a  hundred bucks of that.)

A huge joy is that we can now give back profits from every program to our Winning Wells program, building clean water wells in Cambodia.

6. Does it align with my values?

YES! And that’s the real joy. I’m one-hundred percent confident I was put on this planet to grow leaders as a leader, a parent, and through our leadership development work around the world.

Smart Growth Interview HighlightsGrowth is our default setting.

2:40 I share a story from Whitney’s book. A 56 year old shared how tired he was, and the lack of engagement he is currently feeling. While written way before the pandemic, it applies now. There’s a reason Adam Grant’s article on “languishing” was the most-read New York Times article of the year.

Growth is our default setting.
We may feel we have a good life, but if we aren’t thinking of growing anymore, go deeper as to what may be happening to our sense of engagement.
What do you need to do to rest and restore?

Source of inspiration

5:30 What has been a source of inspiration for Whitney and her own engagement?

Whitney has found strength in her faith tradition, and not abandoning it during the pandemic.
Working on writing a book and having a meaningful project.

The S Curve of Learning

7:50 We discuss the S curve of learning (based on a Diffusion Curve).
Whitney used this to explore a hunch about growth and engagement

Launch Point

Your brain is running a predictive model.
Many times those predictions are incorrect, and you are in new territory which is taxing.
You might feel overwhelmed in this phase and growth feels slow.

Sweet Spot

10:24 The Sweet Spot
Your predictive model is getting increasingly accurate
You are starting to feel energy and engagement
Growth is fast

Mastery

10:50 Mastery
You’ve figured it out
Your growth slows down

12:22 How do you coach someone who is in mastery?
Anchor – once you’ve accomplished what you set out to do, take time to honor it. Review what worked and the habits that got you there.
Mountain – What now?

Is this “A” summit or “THE” summit?

My team is on a variety of spots on the curve of employee growth. How do I help them all?

21:00 How do I help my team with their engagement and development?
You can manage your team as a portfolio of S curves
Optimizing your team for growth benefits from a variety of points on the curve
For example, those at the launch point need support, encouragement, training, resources, and you value their inexperience. Their questions can lead to innovation.

22:46 How do you help those who have reached mastery and aren’t interested in a new launch point.
Have an S curve discussion with them.
Remind them that learning is the oxygen of human growth.
Make a plan for continued growth to the point of their retirement/resignation.
Encourage them to leave an example and legacy.
Point out what they will lose if they stay stagnant

25:30 How do you help Millenials/Gen Z’s embrace a challenge?
They likely noticed other generations working very hard – almost too hard. They want to grow but not just at work.
Don’t be resentful, but be direct in what they need to do to be successful.
Humans like freedom, but we also like boundaries. Be flexible on where/when/how but very clear on what needs to be done.

Last piece of advice about personal and employee growth.

27:55 Last piece of advice
The purpose of the book is to give you a very simple, visual model of what growth looks like. When you have a map, the more you can grow.

If you like this Asking for a Friend on Inspiring Employee Growth, you won’t want to these:

How to Help My Team Make the Most of Failure (Colin Hunter)

How do I have more impact and influence at work (Liz Wiseman)

Development Discussion Planner (Free Tool) How to Prepare for a Better Development Discussion

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The Most Challenging Person for a Human-Centered Leader

To be a human-centered leader requires compassion, empathy, and kindness for someone it’s easy to overlook.

If you’re serious about becoming a more human-centered leader, it’s vital to master one specific relationship: the one with yourself.

This is a leadership relationship I often overlook.

It’s so easy to have compassion and grace for other people while pushing myself for more and holding myself to an unreasonable standard of perfection or achievement.

When I drift away from the positive leadership practices we dedicate our lives to sharing with the world, it’s almost always because I’m not leading myself.

And it makes sense–how can you possibly maintain empathy for others if you’re not acknowledging your own feelings? How could you have grace and compassion for your team if you don’t have it for yourself? How can you maintain patience and curiosity when you exhaust yourself?

In short, you can’t.

This is an Achilles heel for many leaders. Karin and I have the privilege to work with leaders around the world who inspire us every day with their commitment to their people. We meet amazing leaders who treat their teams with the utmost dignity and respect, inspire everyone around them, and teach us with their skillful focus.

And I know that some of these leaders wrestle with their anxiety, depression, or feelings of burnout and inadequacy. I know because they’ll tell me. And I know because I do too.

Be the Human-Centered Leader You’d Want Your Boss to Be

I end every episode of my podcast by inviting you to “Be the leader you’d want your boss to be.”

Today, I invite you to extend that principle to how you’re leading yourself. How are you caring for you?

Let’s start with a few questions that can help you be a more human-centered leader for yourself:

Do you have the same patience for your learning, mistakes, and growth as you do for your team?When you experience prolonged anxiety or depression, do you give yourself a minute to deal with it (or do you keep driving through it)?Do you invest time in healing and nurturing relationships–whether with friends, family, a therapist, a coach, or all of the above?Are you getting enough sleep? (Whatever it is you need that helps you function at your best.)Are you getting enough exercise? (Whatever activity keeps your mind sharp and body working the way you want it to.)Are you investing in your own growth and professional development the way you hope your team will grow?Do you invest time in professional relationships that will support and nurture your work and growth?Can you approach your frustrations and challenges with curiosity?Do you consistently make time to think about what you’re doing and why (or are you constantly in reaction mode)?No Guilt Allowed

If you read these questions and feel guilt … stop. Guilt isn’t the point. It’s not another list of things you’ve got to do or feel inadequate about.

These questions are a thermometer. If you take your temperature and have a fever, there’s nothing to feel guilty about; it’s just data–information you can use to care for your body and get healthy.

So, if you’re reading these questions and they paint a picture of self-neglect, please know that the most important way you can show up as a human-centered leader for your team, your organization, and your mission, is to show up for yourself.

You can’t do it all at once. Pick one item. Start there and start small. Then add to it.

Your Turn

I’m working on these items myself. I haven’t arrived or perfected one of them–but I’m on the journey and there’s always more to learn.

I’d love to hear from you: what do you do to ensure you’re showing up as a human-centered leader–for yourself?

Note: there are times everyone needs help. Sometimes it’s a mentor, a friend, or a coach. And sometimes life throws us more than we could possibly know how to handle. (And there has been a lot of this over the past couple of years). If you’re there now, please consider a qualified therapist.

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Civility at Work: How Do I Deal with a Mean Co-Worker? (video)

Civility at Work is a Team Sport

What do you do if you’re dealing with a co-worker who is completely uncivil? I mean down-right mean, their momma should have taught them better kind of uncivil? How can you address civility at work at a team level?  #Askingforafriend

I was talking with an HR leader the other day about some of the challenges they were facing after a very turbulent year, the stressful year.  They are in an industry that has faced a lot of stress and anxiety at the frontline.

And he said, honestly, ” at this point our biggest challenge is civility at work. Getting people to treat one another with common sense, basic levels of respect.”

This made me so sad, knowing what these frontline employees have been dealing with. The last thing they need on top of all the stress is to have to deal with a mean or uncivil coworker.

So I did a quick LinkedIn Poll to see how pervasive this was.

So here are a few of my thoughts about how we can tackle t his challenge of civility at work. I would also really love to hear from you.  What advice would you add?

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