David Dye's Blog, page 49

Managing Up: Keep Your Boss Informed About a Struggling Team Member

Managing up is easy when performance is good, but it gets a bit more tricky when results are down. Here are a few practical ways to show your boss you are on it WHILE giving your struggling employee the time and space to turn their performance around.

How Do I Manage Up When Results are Down? #AskingforaFriend

This question came in through our learning lab in one of our live-online leadership development programs.

What’s the best way to “manage up'” when working through employee coaching and improvements?

The question brought back a rush of memories of one particularly impatient boss who wanted every performance issue fixed “yesterday” the “easy way.”

Meaning, “just fire the guy” and move on.  That boss wasn’t particularly close to the complexity of the work.

And, he had a hard time seeing the long-term potential in struggling employees.

So, I learned the art of managing up when results were down the hard way.

Why This is Hard

Coaching for lasting improvement can take a minute. Your employee needs time to try new approaches and learn what works best in different scenarios.

Great coaching requires real connection, vulnerability, and trust. No one wants to feel like every conversation is being followed and tracked by someone outside the room.

And even as your struggling team member is improving, it’s likely they’re still going to screw up from time to time, reinforcing their reputation as a poor performer.  It would be easy for a removed observer to prematurely conclude that your coaching’s no working, and it’s time to move on.

And of course, there’s Murphy’s law at play…even if that customer service rep you’ve been coaching to have more empathy has made major improvements, the one time she gets testy with a customer will inevitably be when your boss is walking by.

You care about your struggling employee. You care about your boss. And, you care about the long-term performance of your team. It’s hard to balance these nuanced relationships as a human-centered leader. But it is possible.

4 Steps to Keeping Your Manager Informed When AddressIng Performance Issues

You need to give that struggling employee feedback, coaching, and support while keeping your manager informed about progress in a way that gives them confidence that you’re doing the right thing for the employee and the business.

1. Set clear expectations with your employee and with your manager

Start with a shared definition of success. Ensure all three of you define what good performance looks like in the same way. Sure, start with the metrics, like making quota or attaining service level or productivity measures. And, also ensure you’re aligned on the behaviors that will lead to success.

Focus on the game, not just the score.

2. Work with your struggling employee on a clear path to improved performance

If you need help with this, these articles are rich with practical tools.

How to Provide More Meaningful Performance Feedback 

How To Coach Employees to High Performance When Time Is Limited

Be sure to establish timelines and check-ins to measure progress.

3. Schedule the finish

The next step to managing up when coaching a struggling employee is to share the high-level plan with your manager and check for understanding to ensure they’re aligned with your approach.

And, here’s the part where you buy yourself the time to make an impact.

Schedule the finish. Get some time on your manager’s calendar when you will talk about the situation again. When your manager knows you have a solid plan AND they know when they’ll get an update, they’ll be less likely to ask you about progress every time they bump into you.  You’ll feel less micro-managed and you have time to help your struggling team member without having to share the play by play.

4. Give them opportunities to repair their brand

This is perhaps the trickiest part of managing up with a once-struggling employee. Even if they’ve worked hard to turn their performance around and they’re nailing their role, Ii’s likely you both still have some managing up to do.

iI’s time to show your manager they’ve really changed.

Marshall Goldsmith gives some good advice on this in our recent Asking For a Friend interview (I’ve included a very short excerpt from that interview below… you can watch the rest of the show at this link.

“It’s much easier to change behavior than to change the perceptions of others. Changing the perceptions of others is hard because we all see each other in ways that are consistent with our previous stereotypes.”

An important part of your role in managing up is to help your manager see the change.

Managing Up: What if The Employee Can’t Turn it Around?

Of course, it’s also possible that despite your best efforts, the performance doesn’t turn around.

If you’ve been following this process, you have good documentation, and you’ve kept your manager informed, you’ve built trust in all directions. It’s time to move forward with the next phase of the performance management process without guilt.

Sometimes letting an employee go is the most human-centered action for all involved.

As a human-centered manager managing up well, you want to support your employees and help them to grow AND give your manager the piece of mind so they don’t need to get overly involved.

Leaders Coaching Leaders: One Secret to Sustainable Leadership Development

 

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From Conflict to Courage with Marlene Chism

When leaders can see conflict as a teacher, face it with courage, and continually work on transforming themselves, they can get the resolution they are seeking. Unresolved workplace conflict wastes time increases stress, and negatively affects business outcomes.

But conflict isn’t the problem, mismanagement is. Leaders unintentionally mismanage conflict when they fall into patterns of “the Three As:” aggression, avoidance, and appeasing. In this episode, Marlene Chism, author of From Conflict to Courage gives you exercises, examples, and expert guidance on developing the three elements needed to improve your capacity for conflict and address conflict head-on.

From Conflict to Courage

04:42
Improve communication and relationships and lead from within first.

05:57
When we live and work in cultures where our very safety is threatened, there’s no fulfillment in that.

07:20
Even aggression is a form of avoidance; an avoidance of looking within and being a different kind of leader and looking at their own wounds.

10:38
Practical phrases to use when receiving more aggressive criticism.

12:49
How conflict is not actually the problem.

13:08
Conflict as opposing drives, desires, and demands.

18:26
Honesty as a reflection of your own levels of self-awareness.

22:24
We have opportunities for conflict almost every day because it’s part of the human experience.

23:15
Steps to take to start moving toward the conflict, stop avoiding, and start leading.

26:46
How learning to become a decision-maker makes choices become so much easier.

27:56
Clarity as a general principle versus leadership clarity.

40:23
When you find your choice, you find your power.

44:28
How are we dealing with our own anger? What’s the proper place for it and how do we manage it?

46:30
Building a space between stimulus and response.

47:00
Emotional integrity and taking ownership of your experience.

51:30
Leadership clarity, employee clarity, follow-up, and accountability.

 

Connect with Marlene

LinkedIn

Website

Get the Book

 

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Employee Complaints – 5 Questions to Ask

Your number one leadership job is to support your team to achieve its goals. Employee complaints give you an excellent opportunity to support your people, build their confidence, connect them to one another, and remove barriers to a productive team. Begin by discerning what your employee most needs: to vent–or an intervention?

Many managers wince at the mention of employee complaints. If you’re one of them, you might picture a chronic complainer who always has something negative to say. If so, I’d invite you to consider the opportunity these complaints give you. It’s not about making everyone happy. Rather, employee complaints give you a chance to listen deeply and either help people discover their capacity to solve problems or to address and resolve serious workplace issues.

Your First Job with Employees Complaints

Your first task when your team members bring up a complaint is to listen. Begin by acknowledging how they feel. For example, you might say “It sounds like you’re feeling like you were treated unfairly. Is that right?”

When you do this “reflect to connect” and check in to make sure you understand how they’re feeling, people feel seen and intense emotions release some of their grip.

5 Questions to Ask Before Responding to Employee Complaints

Sometimes your team member just needs to blow off some steam. They get the issue off their chest, they feel heard, and they’re ready to keep moving or figure it out on their own.

Other times, however, there is a serious issue that requires your intervention. It could be anything from unclear instructions on your part to a problematic process or even a serious ethical problem like harassment.

You don’t want to be unresponsive or unsupportive in either case. But how do you discern whether the employee needs to vent or needs your intervention?

The answer is to ask questions that help the person tell what needs to happen next. (I shared three of these questions in a recent video on LinkedIn and people added a couple more that I’ll share here.)

Question 1: Tell me what you want me to know.

This question is more of a request than it is a question, but it plays the same role. I learned this question from trial attorney Heather Hansen when she was a guest on Leadership without Losing Your Soul (check out 8:41 of this episode to hear her powerful explanation).

The beauty of this question is that it helps guide the person to share what is truly most important to them. When you ask it sincerely is heartfelt and it is efficient.

Question 2: How might I help?

This question helps the person identify exactly what they want. If they need to vent and talk it out, they’ll often say so. If they want you to take action, this question helps them clarify their request.

Your most effective action may not be the one they ask for, but you still will know exactly what they want. At times, a follow-up question might be appropriate. When they ask for a specific intervention, you might follow up by asking, “what would you hope the outcome of that would be?”

This gives you a good sense of what they really want. If they want a peaceful workspace, your intervention may or may not be the best solution, but now you know what they truly want.

Question 3: Should the three (or more) of us talk together?

When employee complaints are about another person’s activity or performance, this question can help you sort out whether the complainer is playing games, has a legitimate issue, or is fearful of retaliation or harassment.

If you’re talking to someone who’s playing politics, they’ll usually defer right away and break off the conversation. When there’s a true misunderstanding, they’ll often welcome a three-way clarifying conversation.

For someone who has brought up an issue of harassment or unethical behavior, this conversation may not be appropriate and your best course is to engage your Human Resource partners to help safeguard the employee’s wellbeing while figuring out what happened.

Question 4: What will serve you best right now?

Debbie Cohen, CoFounder of Humanity Works shared this question with me. It’s a nuance of question 2 and a great follow-up or alternative as you explore options. It’s another way of discerning whether the person needed to vent or really needs your help.

Question 5: Why do you think that this happened? (or is happening?)

This question comes from a member of my LinkedIn community, Bill Duffy, C.O.O. at Flight Adventure Parks. This question is a powerful way to follow up on tangled or unclear situations. Ask it with empathy and sometimes the person complaining can reason their way to an understanding of the other party, identify the process or system that’s broken, or help you gain insight about your next steps.

Finish Listening

As you ask these questions, continue to listen and “check for understanding” to ensure you have the details right. For example, “I want to check for understanding here–you spent three nights working to get that project done and then heard nothing back after you turned it in?”

Your next steps will depend on the specifics of the situation, but when you face employee complaints, the best place to begin is to listen, ask questions, and listen some more.

Your Turn

What questions have you found most helpful when responding to an employee’s complaints? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

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The Disciplined Listening Method with Michael Reddington

Do you know the value of your listening skills? The cornerstone of any leader’s personal brand is how people perceive their listening skills. Distractions, biases, unhealthy expectations, and misaligned perceptions make it difficult for leaders to truly understand and influence their audiences. An important skill in reducing missed opportunities and increasing commitments to action is recognizing the value of the clues people display during every interaction.

In this episode, Michael Reddington, Certified Forensic Interviewer and author of The Disciplined Listening Method, provides leaders with the skills, techniques, and perspectives necessary to identify hidden value in every conversation. Michael shares the seven core behaviors of the Disciplined Listening Method that position leaders to discover the truth often hidden in plain sight by leveraging a learning mentality and a goal-oriented approach to encourage their audiences to save face, commit to sharing sensitive information, and change their behavior.

The Disciplined Listening Method

05:35
What is a certified forensic investigator?

08:30
Using investigative interviews as a morale-boosting tool.

10:18
What led to putting this expertise together in this way that makes it accessible and useful for so many of us?

13:41
Why is listening a key leadership skill?

21:49
How to be clear on our goals, short and long term and how can this conversation impact our relationships and objectives?

34:15
How to listen to coach the thought process and decision-making chain, instead of focusing on the excuse.

35:41
How do we navigate the challenge of human-centered leadership taking time and time being increasingly tough to come by.

35:57
Why time is the enemy of empathic listening.

44:25
How to control our internal monologue to stay focused on the conversation.

46:42
Developing awareness of ourselves as listeners.

54:18
Where can we start to become a disciplined listener?

 

Connect with Michael

Twitter

LinkedIn

 

Get the book

 

The post The Disciplined Listening Method with Michael Reddington appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

How Do I Find More Meaning in My Work? – with Marshall Goldsmith (Video)

In this very special edition of Asking for a Friend, I partner with David and his Leadership Without Losing Your Soul podcast. in a conversation with Marshall Goldsmith about how to find more meaning in work, and his new book, The Earned Life.

“We are living an earned life when the choices, risks, and effort we make in each moment align with an overarching purpose in our lives regardless of the eventual outcome.” – Marshall Goldsmith

How to Find More Meaning in Your Work (and Life) With Marshall Goldsmith

1:35  Marshall shares a bit about his new book which is built on what he has learned in life as well as studies over the years.

The key to an earned life is the alignment of these three elements:

Higher-level aspirations – some people live in their heads. They have great thoughts but not much action.Ambition – goal achievement – some people become almost addicted to achievements and goals.  But we don’t control results. How long do achievements make you happy? Many live with the mentality of “I’ll be happy when …”   We are constantly restarting our lives.Our day-to-day actions – these actions need to align with our aspirations and ambitions.

5:22  The one-breath / every breath principle – we are constantly building a new version of ourselves. Embracing that helps us forgive ourselves and keep growing.

6:53  The previous versions of ourselves have caused ripples even presently. How do we navigate when we change and evolve from what we originally shared?

The question comes down to changing perception vs. changing behavior.  Follow-up is key.

Rather than make one statement to your team that “I’m going to stop ____________” tell them your intention and maintain a conversation.  Ask for ongoing feedback. This will build trust that you are working on changing even if you slip – because you are going to still make mistakes.  If they haven’t had an ongoing conversation with you, they will assume, “They haven’t changed a bit.”

Your turn. What would you say are the most important aspects of finding meaning in your work? What constitutes an “earned life?”

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Braver at Work: Questions to Inspire Your Next Courageous Act (with Video)

Gain the Confidence to Be Braver at Work

Whenever we ask participants in our Courageous Cultures or Team Innovation programs to share a time that felt particularly brave at work, the room explodes with powerful energy.

People love to share times when they were scared and did the right thing anyway.

Sometimes we even construct a “Courage Buffet” so people can share their courageous moments privately and publicly at the same time. This leads to poignant sharing and powerful insights.

Perhaps some of these moments of courage will feel familiar to you. Moments where someone…

“confronted my boss’ bad decision”“fired a poor performer after years of everyone looking the other way”“had the courage to walk away from a toxic situation”“stood up for a coworker being discriminated against.”“fired a customer.”“defended a co-worker against a bully.”

We’re curious. What’s a time YOU felt brave at work? (We would love to hear your stories in the comments).

Most of these stories are not about Bravery with a capital “B”—the front-page news stories of whistle-blowing and confronting ethical breaches.

They are stories with a lower-case “b”—choices to take a small, uncomfortable risk for the good of the business, team, the customer, or themselves.

How Does Courage Make You Feel?

When we ask about how being courageous at work made them feel, the answers are remarkably consistent. People report that they felt:

“Fantastic”“Strong”“Relieved”“Proud”“Stupid that I Waited So Long”Avoiding Regrets of Boldness

This discussion of courageous moments often leads to confessions of regrets – those times when you don’t act.

Dan Pink calls these “regrets of boldness” in his book, the Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.

Dan collected 20,000 regrets from people around the world. In fact, you can take take part in this ongoing World Regret Survey here.

He found that people have the same four regrets, and one of them is a “Regret of Boldness.” (Learn more in this short interview:)

Here are examples of regrets we heard from audience members in one of our recent Courageous Cultures keynotes.

“My regret is not talking to my boss about this sooner. She was so receptive.”“I wasted years in a toxic job, but I was too scared to leave.”“I knew what we were doing was wrong—still wake up at night feeling guilty.”5 Powerful Questions That Will Help You Be a Bit Braver at Work

Our goal today is to save YOU a regret or two. Or, to help you encourage courage in your mentoring or coaching conversations.

1. Why is this courageous act so important?

One of the most interesting side findings in our psychological safety research was that when people described their courageous acts, they told us, “At the time it didn’t feel remarkably courageous, I was just doing what needed to be done.” They were brave at work because the cause mattered.

2. What does a successful outcome look like?

You can gain confidence to be braver at work by visualizing success. What’s better because of your courageous action? What will be better when you take action this time?

3. What’s at stake if I don’t act? (Will I regret not doing something?)

This one’s the inverse of number two. What’s the consequence of inertia?

Consider what happens if you don’t speak up or address the concern. What if no one else does anything either? What are the consequences?

4. Imagine you’ve just taken courageous action, what do you notice about yourself?

Dr. Amy Edmondson of Harvard, who wrote The Fearless Organization and the foreword to our book talks about the risk of “discounting the future,” or underestimating the future value of speaking up and over-weighting their current fear. This question can help you be braver at work by visualizing those powerful, positive feelings that come from doing the right thing.

5. What do others notice about you after this brave-at-work moment?

This final question can be fun to consider too. Confidence and daring are contagious. They may or may not even know about the courageous act—many of these acts of courage necessarily happen behind closed doors. But they might just notice a renewed sense of calm, peace, or maybe even some healthy, well-earned pride.

Looking for more ways to speak up and be a bit more courageous at work?

Check out these articles, or download the first chapters of Courageous Cultures: How to Build Teams of Micro-Innovators, Problem Solvers, and Customer Advocates for FREE.

Managerial Courage: 7 Ways to Be a Bit More DaringShare Your Ideas: Practical Ways to Ensure Your Voice is HeardHow to Deal With Team Conflict Your Turn

We would love to hear from you. What’s a moment that you were brave at work that makes you proud? Do you have any “regrets of boldness”?

Leaders Coaching Leaders: One Secret to Sustainable Leadership Development

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Building Psychologically Safe Relationships with LaTonya Wilkins

Real connections within teams can create a culture shift for an entire company. In this episode, LaTonya Wilkins gives you practical ways to lead below the “surface-ness” of traditional corporate culture, and how to build R.E.A.L. relationships with your team. Psychologically safe relationships with people who are different from you are the cornerstone for creating truly innovative, productive, diverse, equitable, and inclusive cultures of belonging.

Inspired by organizational culture research, social psychology, and neuroscience frameworks, this episode is a compass for the purpose-driven and forward-thinking leader. It merges true stories from the lived experiences of Wilkins with actionable insights backed by dynamic interdisciplinary research. This episode is for you if you’re ready to disrupt the way we think about traditional leadership standards and the diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives that have failed to make lasting change.

Leading Below the Surface

7:36 – The role ‘below the surface leaders’ (like her Grandmother) played in LaTonya’s life. Combined with the adversity she’s faced in the workplace, these inspired her to help leaders do better.

8:33 – The positive power of building relationships

12:01 – How treating someone as a full human being can feel revolutionary – and why it’s vital to build psychologically safe relationships at work

14:42 – The need for a leadership archtype about how we treat people

16:35 – How “below the surface” leaders invest in REAL relationships where you are relatable, equitable, aware, and loyal

20:46 – What “leading below the surface” means. How many leaders get caught up in the “surface” reality of our normal human biases – and how these will prevent you from leading and building psychologically safe relationships

21:43 – The terrible three biases that limit our leadership and effectiveness – and how to start moving through them

29:54 – How leaders begin by reflecting on how they have both been a recipient and perpetrator of these human biases so we can build awareness and make different choices

32:05 – When leaders strive to be Relatable, the key is “decentering.” Building psychologically safe relationships starts with curiosity about other people. Awareness of their realities. Seeking understanding.

35:06 – Relatable is showing up curious about the other human being. Learn who they are, and their reality, and process all of that.

36:06 – Why being relatable in this sense takes time and leaders should plan on patience.

39:26 – How leaders can practice being Equitable and empowering other people through power-sharing (hint: be the trampoline)

47:37 – Why psychologically safe relationships with people takes empathy. How to build your empathy by connecting to a person’s story.

51:02 – Get started by focusing on your thinking first.

Connect with LaTonya

LinkedIn

Website

 

Get the Book

 

The post Building Psychologically Safe Relationships with LaTonya Wilkins appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

What We Can Learn from our Regrets (With Video)

Organizations that provide psychological safety will reduce boldness regrets and get greater capacity out of their team.

I caught up with Dan Pink, author of The Power of Regret just after his fantastic keynote at the HR SHRM Virginia Conference in this special episode of Asking for a Friend. 

In his research collecting 20,000 regrets from people all over the world, Dan found trends of four types of regret. I asked him about one so related to our Courageous Cultures research—the regret of boldness.

The regret of boldness is evident in people who say things like,

“If only I’d taken the chance.”
“I wish I had started a company.”
“If only I’d spoken up.”

These regrets aren’t just the responsibility of the individual. Organizations that provide psychological safety help empower their people to not experience such regrets.

How can you do that? In everyday leadership operations. For example,

If someone disagrees with you, thank them for disagreeing. If they make a mistake that’s not colossal, celebrate it for the sake of learning.

You won’t regret it.

Some of the Best Quotes from Dan Pink’s The Power of Regret

“Regret makes us human, regret makes us better.”

“By making us feel worse today, regret makes us better tomorrow.”

“Understanding its effects hones our decisions, boosts are performance, and bestows a deeper sense of meaning.”

“The lesson of closed doors is to do better next time. The lesson of open doors is to do better now.”

“We regret foregone opportunities more than unfulfilled obligations.”

More Interesting Quotes from Other Voices on Regret

“If only. Those must be the saddest two words in the world.” – Mercedes Lackey

“Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will say either, I wish I had, or I’m glad I did” -Zig Ziglar

“LIfe is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes too high to dwell on what might have been.” -Hilary Clinton

“I would rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not.” Lucille Ball

Your turn.

What regrets do you have? What can you do about it now? Are you leading people who may have regrets? How can you help?

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How to Help Your Team Say No at Work

Help your team say no at work so they can say yes to the work that matters most

The ability to say “no” is critical for a person’s sense of agency or feeling in control of their life. That feeling of agency directly contributes to workplace morale, engagement, and productivity. You can help your team develop their ability to say no at work by modeling the behavior, teaching them how to say no, and supporting them when they do.

Know When to Say NoWhy Saying No Is DifficultThree Ways to Help Your Team Say NoWe Almost Missed It

We were in the middle of one of our favorite conversations: talking with leaders who had attended one of our long-term training programs about how they and their teams were using what they’d learned in the months and years afterward.

That’s when Shannon, a Vice President, commented on the value of a clear M.I.T. (M.I.T. = Most Important Thing).

“I love how we all have that language in common. We know what our M.I.T.s are, so when I suggest an idea, my Directors can challenge me and say, ‘How does that fit into our M.I.T.s?’ When they do that, it calls us back to center and keeps us focused.”

We love hearing how teams use a shared definition of success and focus. But Shannon and her team had taken it to the next level—and she said it so naturally that we almost missed it.

What was that next level?

Her team told her, “No.”

As in, “no, we shouldn’t do that—at least, not as it’s currently presented. If it aligns and gets where we’ve all agreed we should go, then let’s talk about it, but otherwise, it’s not a great idea.”

That’s a big deal.

Know When to Say No at Work

It takes a great deal of psychological safety for performance-driven teams to tell their leader no–and it’s also a characteristic of high performance.

For your team to say yes to what matters most, they also must say no to something else. “No” is the best answer in many situations where a misplaced “yes” can sabotage relationships, goals, and well-being. Here are five times when no is a good choice:

1. Say “No” to Rude, Disrespectful, or Unethical Behavior

It might feel easier to ignore the situation. After all, who needs more drama? But allowing a co-worker or boss to treat you with disrespect slowly undermines your confidence and sends a clear message that you’re willing to accept that behavior from him or her and any casual observers. Say “yes” to civil and ethical behavior at work.

2. Say “No” to Time Wasters

Time waters include people or activities. Say “no” to meaningless activity that doesn’t propel your mission and goals. Say “no” to the guy who’s always hanging around your cube or mindless social media scrolling that doesn’t inform, inspire, or energize. Say “yes” to achieving your goals.

3. Say “No” to Your Boss’ Harebrained Idea

Keep reading for suggestions on how to say no to your boss – and know that your boss will thank you for carefully putting on the brakes. Speak up. Say “yes” to shared priorities and outcomes.

4. Say “No” to Negative Self-Talk

It’s easy to talk ourselves out of our own success. Say “yes” to positive thinking.

5. Say “No” to Scope Creep

You’ve outlined the project and the deliverables, but the “just one more” requests keep getting tagged on, without renegotiated deadlines or compensation. It’s okay to say “No, I can’t do that right now under our current terms,” while saying “yes” to “I’d be happy to talk to you about that as phase 2.” Say “yes” to renegotiation.

Why It’s Difficult for Your Team to Say No at Work

It’s not an easy thing to say no to the person with direct influence on your livelihood and career. This power imbalance costs organizations in lost talent, wasted time, accidents, and employee disengagement.

You can be the most human-centered, considerate leader and people still have their fears based on past experience or that of friends and family.

It’s not an easy thing to say no to the person with direct influence on your livelihood and career.

Three Ways to Help Your Team Say No

Helping your team say no will require you to lead the way, equip them with specific skills, and support them in their “no’s.”

1. Lead the way

Your team is watching you. They’ll learn when and how to say no from the example you set. Do you consistently show up with confident humility and respectfully challenge your peers and your boss? Do you commit to a healthy “no” when it’s appropriate – especially when it costs you but protects your team?

Be the courageous leader your team needs by mastering a skillful “no.”

2. Help Them Know How to Say No

You can equip your team with several ways to say “no” at work in different circumstances.

Say no with clear priorities.

The first way to help your team say no at work is to establish clear priorities (see Shannon’s team M.I.T.s above). When you and your team have strong, clear, shared priorities, the next step is to use them to filter every decision.

For example, “Does this help us achieve the outcomes we committed to?”

“If so, does it get us there faster or with better quality than what we’re already doing?”

If not, the no is obvious and the team can move on.

An easy no.

In many social situations, a simple “no thank you” will suffice. No justification or explanation needed.

Say no by starting with yes.

In a work environment that lacks psychological safety, there is an art to saying no effectively. What if the request is from another department lead asking your team to take on a project or make room to solve a problem right away?

In these situations, your most effective “no” often starts with a “yes, and.”

Start by affirming the request and the value the request might represent—that’s the “yes.” Then bridge to the context, consequences, and decisions – that’s the “and.”

For example, “Yes, it sounds like this project would benefit our marketing strategy. And, at the moment, the team is cranking hard to meet our customer’s finish line for the new product development. I can certainly prioritize this new marketing project if we can shift the product deadline. Or, we could get this new one done after the product wraps up. My preference would be to finish up with the product so we can give this our full attention. What do you think makes the most sense?”

3. Support Their No

One of the most critical moments, as you help your team say yes to what matters most, is when they first say “no” to you or another leader.

They’ll likely do it imperfectly at first. Their “no” may lack grace. But if that “no” points toward what matters most, honor it, celebrate it, and support their decision with your peers.

You can follow up with your team privately and use it as a coaching opportunity. Help them become more skillful and navigate challenging relationships. 

Your Turn

In healthy relationships, people honor one another’s “no.” You can help your team say yes to what matters most, by modeling how to say no, teaching them how to say no, and supporting them when they do.

We’d love to hear from you: What is one of the most effective “no’s” you’ve heard from your team or another leader?”

 

The post How to Help Your Team Say No at Work appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

The Earned Life with Marshall Goldsmith

The Earned Life is a road map for ambitious people seeking a higher purpose. An earned life means living in a way where the choices, risks, and efforts we make moment to moment line up with our bigger purpose, regardless of the outcome. But for many of us, that pesky final phrase is a stumbling block: “regardless of the eventual outcome.” Not being attached to the outcome goes against everything we’re taught about achievement and fulfillment in modern society.

In this episode, Goldsmith shares a wealth of insights about how to live with purpose, joy, and freedom now while working for the difference you want to make in the world. We talk about how to overcome common barriers that keep us from being our full selves, how to build trust and credibility with other people as we grow and change, why being happy now is one of the most important choices you can make, and much more.

The Earned Life

02:30
Three key elements to having a great life. One is our higher-level aspiration or purpose. The second is our ambition, which is goal achievement. And the third is our day-to-day actions, our immediate activities now, and the key to having a great life is the alignment of these.

04:09
The great Western disease is I’ll be happy when.

05:45
We’re not who we used to be. We’re constantly changing as we go through life. The “me” at the end of our conversation is not the same me that was at the beginning of our conversation.

07:12
How do you recommend leaders and people navigate the change from the previous versions of ourselves?

09:12
In leadership, it doesn’t matter what we think we said, all that matters is what they heard.

09:44
Barriers to becoming our best self – how inertia gets in our way.

11:21
We’ve all been programmed to believe we are a certain person. And if we’re not careful, we just live out these programs in life.

13:10
Know when to leave. The reality is it’s your life and you need to make a choice.

18:04
What are the YCBM moments? (You Can Be More moments.)

20:03
Marshall’s practical advice for the younger generation to set themselves up for living an earned life.

21:08
Our mission in life is to make a positive difference, not to prove we’re smart and not to prove we’re right.

22:07
When is promoting myself the right thing to do. And when is promoting myself the wrong or dysfunctional thing to do.

27:35
Marshall’s final advice: Number one, three words. Be happy now, not next month, not next year.

28:48
We don’t regret the risk we take and fail. We regret the risk we fail to take.

 

Connect with Marshall

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Website

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The post The Earned Life with Marshall Goldsmith appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.