David Dye's Blog, page 42

How People Are Like Trees and Why That Will Help Your Leadership

People are a lot like trees. You can’t make a tree do something, and the same holds true for people. No person brings the entire package to their work, just like no tree brings everything for every environment that you could possibly want. That’s not how any of it works. You’ll help your leadership when you can embrace and recognize the strengths that people bring and invest in that.

How People Are Like Trees and Why That Will Help Your Leadership

In 1863, the New York Herald published a story regarding President Lincoln’s response to criticism of General Grant. A committee of abolition war managers waited upon the President and demanded the General’s removal on the false charge that he was a whiskey drinker and little better than a common drunker. “Ah,” exclaimed, honest old Abe, “You surprise me gentlemen, but can you tell me where he gets his whiskey? We cannot, Mr. President, but why do you desire to know? Because if I can only find out, I will send a barrel of this wonderful whiskey to every general in the army.”

Hey, it’s David, and you’re listening to Leadership Without Losing Your Soul, your source for practical leadership, inspiration, tools, and strategies you can use to achieve transformational results without sacrificing your humanity or your mind in the process. Welcome to the show today. So talking about whiskey, what’s going on here?

Whiskey, General Grant, and Abraham Lincoln, sharing another selection today from Tomorrow Together: Essays of Hope, Healing, and Humanity with the goal to help your leadership. We’re getting into the gift-giving season and hope you might consider a copy of Tomorrow Together for the folks in your life who like personal essays, inspiration, observational humor, insights, and questions that make us pause and reflect. It’s available through Barnes Noble, Amazon, IndieBound, and wherever you buy books.

All right, so what are we talking about here? People and trees are ultimately our topic. But to get into that and help your leadership, starting with this anecdote from the 1800s about Lincoln telling these men who were complaining about General Grant, I want to get a barrel of the whiskey that he drinks and send it to all of my Generals. No one’s quite sure if Lincoln actually said this, and if he did, it’s likely he took inspiration from others before him who had said similar witty things.

My favorite of these might be King George II, an advisor of his criticized one of the King’s military appointments, saying he was unfit for the role because he was a madman. The king responded with, “I hope that the appointee would bite some of his other generals and transmit that madness”. Obviously happy with his performance and wanted that to spread over in Washington, DC just seven miles away from the Lincoln Memorial, where by the way, there is no mention of General Grant’s whiskey, there’s another national treasure, the United States National Arboretum. Winding roads and trails will take you through groves of Holly and Magnolia trees, Japanese woodlands, incredible azaleas, and dogwoods. There’s a grove of every state tree and a real panoramic view of the Anacostia River. It’s one of my very favorite places in the district, but of all the wonders that are there in the arboretum, my favorite is the National Bonsai Museum.

Home to more than 300 of the most incredible bonsai trees that I’ve ever seen. At the heart of the collection is one of my very favorite trees in the entire world, not just my favorite in the collection, but one of my favorite trees, period. It’s a nearly 400-year-old Japanese pine. One time I visited the museum in mid-July. It was 98 degrees and raining and despite the rain, when I got to that tree I paused and standing there, taking in the magnitude of that tree, my eyes teared up. I actually had tears blending in with the rain. It was a very poignant moment for me. And to understand why a tree could produce such deep emotions, you have to understand a little bit about Bonsai trees.

The trees grow in pots, you probably know that they’re in little pots, and both the branches and roots of the trees are regularly pruned, trimmed, and guided to help create and reveal the shape. As a result, Bonsai trees can require near-daily care to survive. Because they’re in the smaller pot, they’re under more stress than they would be in nature. To see this tree is to see the many generations of Japanese families that cared for this beautiful work of living art. Looking at this 400-year-old tree, I see a testament to human creativity and discipline, but it’s more than that. In August 1945, that tree and the family that cared for it survived the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, and then 30 years later, it was gifted to the United States by Japan during the US Bicentennial celebration.

I look at that tree and I see artistry, history, war, and peace, the artistry and history of it all are overwhelming. The first time that I visited the Bonsai Museum, I asked one of the gardeners, how do you make these trees so beautiful? He was an older guy and he cocked his head, squinted his eyes and he said, “son, you don’t make a tree do anything, that’s not our job.” Bonsai isn’t about making a tree beautiful. You care for the tree. You find the beauty and strength it already has and reveal that. I think the Bonsai Garden would’ve gotten along well with Abraham Lincoln or King George because people are a lot like trees. You can’t make a tree do something, and the same holds true for people.

As a leader, this is true about human beings in general, but particularly from a leadership perspective, there is peace and joy in appreciating people for who they are. In seeing their beauty and strength, enjoy and celebrate each person’s unique energy, talents, personality skills, interests, abilities, and all that they add to the world and to your life. And no person brings the entire package to their work. No tree brings everything for every environment that you could possibly want. That’s not how any of it works. So can we embrace, and enjoy the beauty and strength that people bring and invest in that?

Until next time, embrace your people for who they are, and help your leadership by being the leader you’d want your boss to be.

 

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How to Make an Even Better Career Elevator Pitch

Use this Simple Technique for a Better Career Elevator Pitch

Do you ever think of exactly the right thing to say — your perfect career elevator pitch — the moment you walk away from the conversation?

Do you want to make a better impression when you have only a few moments to share your ideas or ask for something you need?

Today on Asking for a Friend, we go old-school and talk about a very practical, and easy-to-implement technique for getting people’s attention and making an important first impression. This can help create clarity around the importance of your work. 

Ok, so the story I share with you in this video is seriously right on point. It’s so relevant that it’s almost hard to believe it happened! I actually had the opportunity to give my two-liner, power-packed elevator pitch to a senior-level executive – on an elevator – immediately following a team training about communication. 

This moment in my career helped launch me into the next level of leadership at the company I worked for. It’s like all the pieces fell into place, right when I needed them to…

And I was ready with my elevator pitch

 

An elevator pitch is something I imagine many of us wish we had mastered earlier in our careers! And guess what? You don’t actually need an elevator. Watch the video for my tips on how to prepare for that moment…the one that could potentially change your career and your life so you can become the leader you want to be. 

Try This Simple Technique for a Better Career Elevator Pitch

Step 1 of your elevator pitch is to give the person you’re talking with context that they can relate to…choose a question that they know the answer to!  For example, I could start with something like, “Have you ever had a bad boss?”  

Step 2 of your elevator pitch helps position you in that process that they already know the importance of…and will make it really clear to them the VALUE of what you do. For example, after someone is nodding their head profusely to the question, “Have you ever had a bad boss?” Then, I could say, “I provide practical tools and techniques to help you be the leader you want your boss to be.”

Big picture…they don’t need to understand the HOW of what you do…and there are a lot of complex details that you don’t need to share. You want to communicate with confidence the importance and value of what you do. 

Then your career elevator pitch will be memorable and worthwhile.

What would you add? What’s one way you help people show up confident, credible, and ready to ask for what they need — when they only have a few moments?

P.S. This video was filmed just outside the amazing Leadership Institute in Beaver Creek, Colorado where we were working with a fantastic group of human-centered leaders at East West Hospitality. 

Related articles about communication, confidence, and leadership:

Presenting to Executives: How to Have More Confidence

What’s one piece of career advice you wish you had learned sooner?

Leadership Skills: 6 Core Competencies Let’s Grow Leaders (letsgrowleaders.com)

How to Get Your Boss Excited About Your Great Idea

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How to Know if Your Boss is a Micromanager (or if you just need help)

Is it micromanagement or the support you need?

One of the biggest requests for help we receive is, “How do I deal with my micromanager boss?” In fact, that phrase consistently ranks in the top “Asking for a Friend” questions in our Leadership Development Programs.  Over-involved managers frustrate people all over the world, telling them what to do, slowing them down, and getting in the way.

Interestingly, we hear an equally common frustration from these over-involved managers.

“Why do I have to get involved in all the details! I shouldn’t have to be involved at this level — but if I don’t, something will fall through the cracks. Why can’t my team see these issues and fix them?”

In fact, often we’ll hear both sides of the story. An employee will complain that their boss is a micromanager. And, when we talk with the “micromanaging boss,” they describe a litany of dropped balls, and other performance challenges that have caused them to get involved in situations they would rather not have to deal with.

Two highly frustrated, well-intentioned people wishing they could “fix” the situation, but with radically different views on the same situation.

What is Micromanagement?

Micromanagers get over-involved in their team’s day-to-day work. They check in excessively and dictate exactly how and when work is done. Micromanagers try to control team members’ activities and outcomes.

The consequences of micromanagement include frustrated and disempowered employees who feel a lack of autonomy and consequently don’t approach their work with energy, creativity, or initiative.

Signs You’re Dealing with a Micromanager

It’s not always obvious if you’re seeing micromanagement or a genuinely concerned manager who is trying to help you. What makes it difficult is that your manager might want to train you in an existing process or methodology, You may have your own thoughts, but they want to teach you what they know has worked in the past.

Another challenge is that when faced with what they perceive as a lack of performance, energy, creativity, or initiative, managers often increase their level of controlling behaviors to compensate. This leads to a negative feedback loop where the manager causes some of the very outcomes that lead them to micromanage.

The following signs can help you decide if you’re working with a micromanager:

They have to know where everyone is at every momentThe manager constantly wants to know what everyone is working onThis need to know creates constant engagement, check-ins, and interruptions about relatively unimportant issuesLack of delegation – they insist on doing things themselvesWhen they delegate or assign tasks, they don’t describe the outcome – they tell you how to do every stepThey insist you copy them on all your correspondence and include them in every meeting even when it doesn’t add value for them or othersThese managers often withhold informationThey don’t encourage or affirm and most interactions are critical – finding fault, constantly correcting even small errors, and employees can rarely do anything well enoughIndications Your Manager is Frustrated Too and Trying to Help

How can you tell if your manager is genuinely frustrated and trying to help (as opposed to being a true micromanager)?

Start with You

The first place to look is your performance. Look at your work objectively. Is it quality? Have you made consistent errors or repeated the same mistake after learning how to do it correctly? Does your work ethic match the organization’s culture?

We’ve known many people who complain about a micromanaging boss, but who consistently sent out grossly incorrect data, the wrong dates and times, and repeatedly made the same mistakes despite receiving coaching. Or they consistently arrive late to meetings and don’t reliably meet deadlines.

You may make mistakes as you learn and grow. The question is: are you growing? Can you show improvements in your work product? Are you committed to not making the same mistake more than once? Do you implement the coaching you receive?

If not, your manager might not be a micromanager; he might be trying to help you succeed in your role.

Look for Patterns

If you work on a team or in a group, pay attention to how your manager interacts with your colleagues. Is she directive and checking in with everyone all the time? Or is it just you?

When there’s a pattern of controlling behavior, it’s more likely you have a micromanager. But if it’s just you or one other person, that’s important data that your manager has concerns or frustrations and is trying to help you perform at a higher level.

Another pattern to pay attention to is timing. Is there a new source of stress? Maybe their directive behavior comes during the ramp for a product launch or a high-stakes board meeting or after a major revenue shortfall. These aren’t reasons for a manager to micromanage, but they can explain what’s causing the change in behavior – and give you the abilty to help create a better working relationship.

Empowering Conversation Starters To Talk with Your Micromanaging Boss

Whether your manager is a true micromanager or trying to help, there are several powerful phrases to start conversations that will improve the relationship and experience – for both of you.

“I care about our success and want to make sure I’m doing my part.”

One of the best ways to start these conversations is by affirming your commitment to the team and the work. Getting this intention into the conversation opens the door for a productive conversation.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve [describe the controlling behavior objectively].”

Sometimes, drawing attention to the facts is all it takes to help a stress-out manager amend their behavior – or to take the time to explain what’s on their mind.

Examples:

I’m noticing that you’ve asked for an update on that project five times in the last two hours.I’ve noticed you’re walking me through the steps of this process that I’ve done many times before.I know that you’ve asked to be included in all our team huddles when we’re debriefing progress and today’s assignments. The meetings rarely have engagement and you end up walking everyone through how to do their work.Follow up with a question that allows mutual room for improvement.

After you describe the objective facts, ask a question that creates space for both of you to learn or grow. These questions allow the manager to share genuine concerns, but also cause them to reflect on why they are micromanaging. If you can get that concern into the conversation, you can address it.

Examples (combined with the “I’ve noticed…” statements):

I’m noticing that you’ve asked for an update on that project five times in the last two hours. How can I help get you what you need so you’re confident and I can focus on getting it done?I’ve noticed you’re walking me through the steps of this process that I’ve done many times before. Is there something I’ve missed that’s causing you concern?I know that you’ve asked to be included in all our team huddles when we’re debriefing progress and today’s assignments. The meetings rarely have engagement and you end up walking everyone through how to do their work. Do you have a concern about how I’m leading those meetings or our project status?Ask Your Micromanager for What You Want (with their concern in mind)

Once you’re aware of your manager’s concern (or that they don’t specifically have one if they’re acting out of habit), it’s time to ask for what you want.

Examples:

“I’m hearing that the EVP is requesting frequent updates because the Board is concerned about our progress. Can I make a commitment to brief you in writing on Wednesdays and in writing and verbally on Friday before lunch? We’ll be able to make faster progress if we’re not pulling up to provide frequent updates.”“When we do these projects, can we focus on what a successful outcome will achieve and any specific criteria that need to be met. I’ll ensure the team achieves them. For the first one, how about we do a one-week progress check so you’re confident of where we’re going?”“I want to try two weeks of huddles where I lead them on my own so we can focus on peer-solution-sharing. Can you and I set up a quick meeting at the end of each week to see if you have any concerns and make sure we’re on track?”Your Turn: Your Micromanager Success Story

Your micromanager boss might be stressed, insecure, victim to a bad role model in their leadership development – or they might be giving you the genuine training and help you need to succeed. After you honestly assess your performance and feel confident you’re doing what you know to do, a conversation can help you both.

You’ll either learn about your manager’s performance concerns and how to be more effective – or you’ll help the two of you navigate an improved relationship that improves both of your lives. And yes, with a couple of these conversations, you’ll also discover if you’re working with a manager who you’ll never satisfy or doesn’t want to stop micromanaging. When this happens, you have a foundation for making other career decisions.

We’d love to hear from you: Have you ever successfully navigated a relationship with a micromanager? What conversations did you have? What were the results?

You might also want to check out:

12 Powerful Phrases to Help You Navigate Challenging Workplace ConflictHow to Avoid Micromanaging Remote EmployeesHow to Provide More Meaningful Performance FeedbackThe Secret Ingredient to Master Delegation

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Standing Still

What does it feel like to move at 58,000 miles per hour? Well, it turns out we all know the answer and that even when we’re standing still, so much more is happening than what meets the eye.

 

 

Hey, it’s David, and you’re listening to Leadership Without Losing Your Soul. Your source for practical leadership, inspiration tools, and strategies you can use to achieve transformational results without sacrificing your humanity or your mind in the process. Thanks for joining us for another episode. We are getting close to the end of season 11 here, and we have a couple more interviews coming up. But before we do those, I wanted to share another selection from Tomorrow Together: Essays of Hope, Healing, and Humanity. I’m sharing this one because as we head into the holiday season all of the different elements that can creep up, the stress and the rushing around, and all the different aspects of things combined with the normal stress of leadership, perspective is so important. Maintaining a perspective that helps us keep our sanity and helps us remain human-centered for ourselves and for everyone else around us is important.

Today it’s all about perspective. John Green, the author of a great book, The Anthropocene Reviewed, has an essay where he says, “from the cork to the Super Nova, the wonders do not cease. It is our attentiveness that’s in short supply, our ability, and our willingness to do the work that awe requires.” So what does it feel like to move at 58,000 miles per hour? Well, we do know the answer. We actually know more than that. Our Sun is moving through space at 58,000 miles per hour, or for our metric friends around the world, that’s 93,342 kilometers per hour. That speed is hard to wrap my head around.

But then you realize the entire solar system that’s orbiting the sun, all the planets and moons and asteroids are also flying through space at 58,000 miles per hour as they stay in orbit around the sun. And while we’re standing still, we’re not done yet. Then there’s the planets movement to consider. Earth revolves around the sun and it’s moving fast, traveling around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour or 170,000 plus kilometers per hour. So Earth covers just under 100 million miles in one year. That’s wild, right? And we’re still not done. The Earth is also spinning. If you were standing on the equator, that’s another 1000 thousand miles per hour of rotation.

Let’s put it all together, if you’re standing still on the equator. You’re spinning at 1000 miles per hour traveling around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour in an entire solar system that’s moving through space at 58,000 miles per hour, 1000 miles per hour, 67,000 miles per hour, 58,000 miles per hour, and all of that motion is pretty much impossible to sense. We only become aware of it if we pay enough attention over time. When I think about that, it makes me wonder what else is happening that we don’t notice.

From a leadership perspective, my goal here in sharing this is not to make you dizzy, thinking of us whirling around through space, but it’s to recognize how much is happening even when it feels like we’re standing still. So pause, take a deep breath and take a moment to recognize all that is happening in your team, in your leadership, in your business, and in yourself.

Until next time, be the leader you’d want your boss to be.

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What’s one piece of career advice you wish you had learned sooner?

Career advice you wish you had learned soonerOn this week’s episode of Asking for a Friend, I interviewed Kathryn Heath and Brenda Wensil, authors of I Wish I’d Known This , about the career advice they have after years of professional coaching.  In their book, they share some of the masterful methods they wish they had known earlier in their careers – specifically for women. This conversation can absolutely apply to everyone…so, all genders, listen in!Invest in peer relationshipsFor me, there’s no question…my smartest career advice is to “invest deeply in peer relationships.” It took me a minute to truly understand that, and once I did, it was a game-changer. I also wish I’d been more deliberate and intentional about my EXTERNAL network during my time at Verizon. I was so focused on internal team relationships that I didn’t build my professional network and connect with peers outside the company as much as I would have liked.  Building deep, trusting relationships with other leaders across the globe has been one of the true joys of doing the work I do now — I wish I’d had that perspective and those friendships sooner. Career Advice: Have a posse and know your personal brand

In their book, Kathryn and Brenda share their career advice for woman leaders…and here are a few:1. You need a vision, strategies, and a plan. 2. Know who you are and how you land with others, or personal brand. In their book they call it “reputationality” and it includes all things YOU. Match it up with your personality so you get to be you in your career. Ask yourself, what do you want to be known for?  3. Get known for something and tell your story. 4. Install a career GPS, an internal strategic system for navigating where you are, where you want to be and how to get there.  5. Be strategic about the outcome you want. 6. Assemble a “posse.” A community of people from whom you can get career advice. Also, share your ideas with them, talk about your vision, and reflect on your ideas.Your turn! What’s one piece of advice you have that you wish you had learned sooner in your professional life?Related Articles to career advice you wish you had learned sooner:

Executive Presence in a Virtual World: What Matters Now

Career Growth: How to Be More Creative as You Develop Your Team (Video)

Leadership Support: How Do I Get More Executive Attention?

How to Build a Better Network of Peer Relationships

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Performance Review: How to respond to frustrating or lazy performance feedback

Speak Up to Get Better Feedback in Your Next Performance Review

A few years ago, I wrote “Avoid These Infuriating Phrases in End-of-Year Feedback” to encourage managers to stop making stupid comments when giving a performance review.

This heartfelt post came from years of listening to high-performing employees vent their frustrations about the things their managers said.

If you’re a manager preparing to write a tricky performance review for an employee on your team, I highly encourage you to ensure you’re not falling into one of these frustrating traps.

One of the easiest ways to tank employee engagement is to screw up an end-of-year review.

And, if you’re preparing to RECEIVE your next performance appraisal, this article is for you.

How to Respond to the Most Infuriating Kind of Performance Review

So as we head into performance management season, I’m sharing the companion piece to my popular “infuriating phrases” article, just in case your boss missed the memo or is struggling to navigate an old-school performance management system.

1. “I don’t have much end-of-year feedback for you. You know you’re doing great.”

Ohhh, I hate this one as much as you do. Because if you’re hearing this, yeah, you probably are doing great, but it doesn’t give you much to build on or improve.

Some options to start your empowered response:

“Wow, thanks so much! I appreciate your support. This year, I feel particularly proud about __________ (insert that accomplishment you expected them to bring up). I’m curious about your perspective on that _______(project, strategy, accomplishment). Why did that work from your perspective? What made that work so well, and how might I bring more of that into my work?”“Thank you! You know, one area I’m really working to improve on is _________. What is one suggestion you have for how I can be more effective in that arena?”“Thank you! I’m curious about what specifically you appreciate about what I’m doing here. I’m very focused on ensuring next year is even better, and I’d love your help in knowing what I should continue doing and ideas to help me really differentiate my performance next year.”2. “I rated you as meets expectations for your end-of-year feedback. Your performance really was an “exceeds” but I had to make the math work out.” Or, even worse, “I could only have one person in that category.”

Okay, you have a serious right to be ticked off here. I’ve been there, on both sides of this awkward conversation.

And it’s probably too late to change the math or the rating. I know this because as a Verizon executive I’ve fought this battle many times for the high-performers on my team, and the answer was “pick one.”

Your manager may be as (or even more) frustrated than you.

In my article on infuriating phrases, my advice to your manager is to stay focused on results and behaviors, rather than the rating. And, to be clear about the criteria that they used to calibrate performance and where you met and exceeded those criteria and opportunities to improve in the future. To stay away from comparisons to other employees, or blaming other people for the rating they received.

And now, some options to start your empowered response: 

“Oh, wow. That must have put you in a difficult situation. And, I’ve got to tell you, that makes me feel really ___________(insert emotion here, but try not to scream or cry).”“I’ve worked incredibly hard this year and I really don’t want to be having a similar conversation this time next year. Can we outline what I need to do for next year to make ‘exceeds’ (or whatever your rating equivalent is) the obvious rating? I’d love to build a plan to ensure I have the success I’m looking for.”“I really appreciate your support. And I’ve got to tell you I’m pretty frustrated. This affects my compensation too (if that’s true). I’d really like to talk to HR to express my concerns about this.”3. “I know we haven’t talked about this before, but _____”

This one’s tricky because your manager certainly shouldn’t blindside you this way in your performance review. There are a few angles you might choose to take. If they’ve put something in writing that’s coming out of the blue, you might request to have that removed, requesting a fair chance to address it before it turns up in the documentation.

And, here are some empowering phrases that might be useful.

“I appreciate your feedback and your desire to help me improve. I’m wondering what we could do to set up a more regular cadence of feedback throughout the year, so there are no surprises next time.”“I’m a bit surprised by this feedback and would like to take some time to digest it. Let’s set up a follow-up in a week to talk a bit more.”“Since this is the first time I’ve heard this feedback, can you please give me some time to address this before you put it in the formal review? Here’s my approach to improving in this area.”4.”I don’t really have any specific examples, but it’s become a real issue.”

If you hear this in your performance review, and you can’t think of any examples either, I’d recommend you push for some examples.

“I’m deeply committed to improving my performance in this arena. And, it’s really hard to understand what needs to change without some concrete examples.”“I really would like to understand this more. I’m struggling to come up with examples too.”“Can you please tell me more? I’d really like to get a better understanding of your concern here.”5. “I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from other people about your performance in this arena. Who? I’m not at liberty to say.

As with most of these awkward performance review phrases, I would start with a gut check. If your manager is raising an issue and it feels true to you, then your best bet is to own it and work on it.

However, if this third-party performance review feedback feels unfair, then I would press for more information.

“Hmmm. That’s tricky. I don’t see it that way. It would be really helpful for me to talk directly with those concerned. Can you please ask them to come to me with their concerns so I have a chance to talk with them directly about it?”“Have you noticed this issue yourself? Does this seem like something that’s consistent with what you’ve observed?”“I’d like a chance to better understand this issue. Who do you suggest I talk with to learn more?”6. “Just write up your accomplishments and I’ll sign it.”

It’s a great idea to submit your accomplishments. After all, you’re closer to the work you’ve done and the impact you’ve made.

Say yes, and then…

“I’d be delighted to write up my accomplishments (see How to help your boss give you a better performance review for tips on how to do that well).”“I would also really appreciate your feedback and perspective on my performance this year. When would be a good time for us to talk through my performance review?”“Here you go (hand them your accomplishments). I’m also really interested in your feedback on how I can make next year my best year ever. I got this great development discussion planner from Let’s Grow Leaders. I’d love to schedule some time to go through that.”

The best performance reviews are future-focused conversations. If your manager struggles to do this well, show up helpful, and do what you can to get the feedback and development you need.

Related Articles

12 Powerful Phrases For Navigating Challenging Workplace Conflict

How to Make No-good, Useless Performance Feedback Helpful

How to Help Your Team’s Performance Stand Out for Better Recognition

Avoid These Infuriating Phrases in End-of-Year Feedback and Performance Appraisals

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How to Be an Inclusive Leader with Jennifer Brown

What does it mean, practically, to be an inclusive leader? And what happens to your business, team, and leadership when you embark on the journey?

In this thoughtful episode, Jennifer Brown takes a deeper dive into what it takes to be an inclusive leader and examines the challenges and mindsets that continue to hold many leaders back. Combining nearly two decades of professional DEI expertise with personal experience and reflection, she tackles complex topics such as identity, privilege, and systemic inequities. Brown makes the journey to becoming an inclusive leader accessible and actionable.

Whether you are well on your inclusive leadership journey or just beginning, Jennifer meets you where you are and equips you to take action.

How to Be an Inclusive Leader

4:35 – The power of realizing your leadership deficits

7:43 – Walking the talk of inclusive leadership in her Jennifer’s leadership role

9:25 – What it means to be an inclusive leader and practice inclusive leadership

14:13 – Why it’s important to recognize the cultural pace of change when it comes to leadership and why you can’t possible know everything all the time (and to be okay with that and approach everything with curiosity).

17:46 – The power of recognizing your own identities.

22:24 – Some of the persistent leadership challenges where bias fuels decisions.

26:32 – The challenge of finding comfort in sameness and how you can overcome that constraint to being an inclusive leader.

30:30 – Why leaders can and should share what’s on their heart, what troubles them – and tapping into that fuel to change the system.

33:18 – How to help people feeling a sense of loss reframe cultural transformation and step into the value of it for them – and everyone else.

39:05 – The false promise of “meritocracy” and how to balance in favor of fairness.

40:15 – Tips on creating an inclusive culture with remote teams.

Connect with Jennifer

LinkedIn

Get the Book

 

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How to Ask Powerful Questions for More Connection and Engagement

How to Ask Powerful Questions for More Connection and Engagement

A few months ago, I had Chad Littlefield on Asking for a Friend talking about the art of powerful questions. Specifically, the importance of shifting WHY questions to WHAT and HOW questions for more connection and engagement. 

If you missed that conversation, catch it right here.  

This week on Asking for a Friend, I share more of our interview and Chad talks about how to ask powerful questions without triggering defensiveness.

Powerful Questions Begin with Genuine Curiosity

 

Chad shares that when you’re about to question WHY someone did something…use this litmus test:

Are you inviting some of their story and perspective into the conversation?Are you creating an open space to listen to them?

Or…

Are you pushing them into what Chad calls “the land of rationalization and defensiveness?”

If you’re pushing them into rationalization and defensiveness, using a WHAT or a HOW question might be a better option. And try to make sure it’s not just a WHY question in dressed up disguise!

Chad challenges us to “double your count.” Meaning ask double the number of questions in your day. Did you know that adults only tend to ask 6-12 questions per day?!? And our research here at Let’s Grow Leaders for our book Courageous Cultures revealed that 49% of employees said that they are not regularly asked for their ideas!

What do you think? Can you double your daily question count to 12 – 24? Flex your curiosity muscle…and ask more powerful questions! 

Your turn. I would love to hear from you! What is your favorite approach to asking better, more powerful questions that encourage connection and engagement? 

Related Articles to Help Your Team Ask Powerful Questions and Increase Connection and Engagement

How Do I Ask Better Questions to Create More Psychological Safety?

Braver at Work: Questions to Inspire Your Next Courageous Act

Courageous Questions: How to Make It Easier to Get Better Insights

9 Questions to Help Your Team Solve Problems On Their Own

7 Icebreaker Questions to Melt Frustration and Build Trust

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Why Your Team Can’t Innovate When You Want Ideas and Try to Help

When Your Team Can’t Innovate It May Be Because of Your “Help”

New ideas have a life cycle. Many senior leaders jump in to help their teams refine, grow, or prune an idea before they’re ready – and as a result, their teams can’t innovate at all.

Idea Killer?

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been an idea-killer.

It’s not that I don’t want new ideas, solutions, and innovation. I didn’t callously shout “that’s not how we do it!” No, my problem was different.

It came from trying to help in the wrong way at the wrong time. Someone would bring me an idea and I’d jump in with all the possibilities. The three distinct problems we’d need to solve. How we had similar solutions already in place. Most of the time, that was the end of the idea.

And I know I’m not alone. Many leaders and managers, in their desire to be helpful, show off their vast knowledge, or shortcut to a faster solution, will give quick answers when team members ponder “what-ifs.” I’ve done this more times than I care to admit.

How Well-Meaning Leaders Extinguish Ideas When Teams Can’t Innovate

As we work with leadership teams to help them build a Courageous Culture filled with teams of innovators, problem-solvers, and customer advocates, we’ll often hear that their teams won’t solve problems on their own and lack creativity.

When you watch what happens in these organizations, people will often have ideas—and then senior leaders swarm that seedling of an idea and pick it apart, tell the team what they’d missed, and what’s already happening. The swarm of input crushes the idea and spirit behind it before the team can learn more or experience the joy of innovation.

And I get it—from an experienced leadership perspective, you want to help. There are five different perspectives you’ve learned through your experience that are relevant and that the team hasn’t considered. You can see the potential in version 3.0 of their idea, and you jump to that, asking if they’ve considered incorporating x, y, and z. You’re also sensitive to time—after all time is money and if you can shorten the learning curve and get to a better idea, faster, doesn’t it make sense to get there as quickly as possible?

Not necessarily.

Or at least, not now.

When Your Team Can’t Innovate—Pay Attention to Idea Life-Cycle

When your team’s new ideas meet with a flurry of input, criticism, or overwhelming additions, they can’t innovate. The new idea drowns before it can grow. And people give up—it’s just not worth it to try.

Think of ideas like an apple tree. When the seed first sprouts, that tiny seedling needs enough room to grow, put out a few leaves, and get some roots down to anchor it in the soil. It wouldn’t make sense for you to prune or shape a seedling or look for apples. It’s not ready yet.

Give that tiny seedling time to grow, however, and it will develop strength as it faces wind and rain. Eventually, it will be big enough and strong enough that you can shape it and prune it—and doing so will make it healthier and help it produce more apples.

Nurture the Birth of Ideas

Your team and their ideas have a similar life cycle.

When your team can’t innovate, pay attention to what happens in the early stages of ideation. Is there room to explore and grow an idea? Can they experiment and try ideas at a small scale to see what works, what they hadn’t considered, and how to get the information they need to contribute better solutions? To make mistakes that won’t cripple the business, but that help people learn and grow?

Real learning grasps the essential elements, understands “what happens if,” makes new connections, finds new solutions, and creates new visions. Be careful not to squelch creativity and risk-taking by trying to help too much or jumping ahead too soon.

Recently I interviewed Olankunle Soriyan, author of A Love Affair with Failure, and he captured this tendency to paralyze ourselves or our teams by focusing on perfection before we’re in motion. “If you wait to release an iPhone 14 and all the features it has today, you’ll never release the first edition.”

“If you wait to release an iPhone 14 and all the features it has today, you’ll never release the first edition.”

-Olankunle Soriyan, A Love Affair with Failure

How to Help When Your Team Can’t Innovate

Here are three strategies to help nurture new ideas and people who are learning how to innovate:

Provide context and clear criteria

When someone on your team has an idea, they likely are thinking only of what the world looks like from their perspective. Help them grow and make it more likely their idea can have a meaningful impact by sharing context and clear criteria. What is happening in the organization, the environment, or the industry that they need to be aware of? What are the boundaries within which they can play as they implement their idea? Where do you or the organization most need a good idea?

One of the most powerful ways to equip your team with criteria to help them contribute meaningful ideas is with our I.D.E.A. model. What makes an idea interesting? Doable? Engaging to stakeholders? And what are the next specific actions they recommend?

Learn more about the I.D.E.A. model here.

Respond with Regard

How you react to incomplete, unusable, or half-thought-through ideas has a huge effect on whether you’ll ever get useful ideas. When your team can’t innovate, pay attention to your response to the ideas you hear.

Start with gratitude for the act of contributing. For example: “Thank you for thinking about how we can improve in this area.” Note: You are NOT thanking them for their specific idea or even telling them it’s a good idea. Celebrate their effort.

Next, add information – this might be additional criteria, context, or even how their the idea is already in use. Give them enough information that they can continue exploring, growing, and making connections, but not enough to drown them. (Think of that apple tree seedling – it needs water to grow, but not too much.) If their idea can’t work right now, this is the time to let them know why.

Finally, invite them to continue thinking, contributing, and to refine this idea. This is critical to give people the same chance to learn and grow that made you the expert you are today. As they gain experience and think through their concepts, they’ll gain strength and be ready for the pruning and shaping stage of innovation.

Here’s more on how to: Respond with Regard

Reward Failure

This may sound strange, but let’s think about the concept of rewarding failure for a moment.

If your people take a risk, but you only reward the risks that succeed, what will happen?

People will naturally stop taking risks.

By their very nature, risks mean uncertainty of success. By only rewarding the risks that work out as hoped, you communicate that you don’t actually want creativity and innovation; you communicate that you’re only interested in a “sure thing.”

Avoiding loss is human nature. Most people in your organization will therefore choose to do nothing, rather than risk your censure for a creative idea that doesn’t work.

The solution to this problem is to reward behaviors and attempts. Some organizations take this concept to a grand conclusion and annually give an award for “The best idea that didn’t work.” Others describe every new initiative as “an experiment” – a term that clearly communicates the desire to learn from the effort and acknowledges the reality that it may or may not work out as intended.

Your Turn

When your team can’t innovate, but you really want new ideas, make it safe to experiment and take risks. Avoid the temptation to swarm a new idea with too many corrections and criticisms. When you celebrate creative behaviors, attempts, and even failures, you make it OK for the effort to not work and for everyone to learn something along the way—and you’re that much closer to the game-changing ideas you do need!

I’d love to hear from you: what’s your most effective way to help new ideas thrive?

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Make Change Work: How to Translate Your Vision to Practical Behaviors (Video)

Help Your Team Make Change Work: One Behavior at a Time

Helping your team make change work is tricky. It’s easy to talk about empowerment, taking appropriate risks, or showing empathy, but it’s quite another to translate those concepts into practical daily actions.

In today’s Asking for a Friend, I  share a very practical technique you can use to help your team identify the behaviors that will have the biggest impact.

This exercise works well for several reasons. First, it starts by giving everyone a chance to really consider the behaviors for themselves. This ensures everyone is thinking about it and gives your more introverted team members a moment to think before participating in the group conversations.

Then, the group conversation helps to quickly general conversation at a very practical level about what the team can actually do. The dialogue is always so rich.

And finally, the prioritization process helps to identify specific next steps the team can agree on. The most important thing to remember here is to keep the list practical and short.

Isolate a few key behaviors that are observable. The best way to make change work is one behavior at a time.

Helping the team to (1) understand what behaviors matter most

(2) and picking a few to practice consistently can make all the difference.

Use this Practical Technique to Help Your Team Make Change Work

Related articles to help your team navigate change and uncertainty.

How to build a strong team vision

How to build a high-performing team, 10 vital conversations

Leading through change: Inspect what you expect (with curiosity and compassion)

How to help your team navigate their concerns about culture change

Your Turn.

What would you add? What are your best practices to help your team make change work at a behavioral level?

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