Tony Fahkry's Blog - Posts Tagged "suffering"
Sometimes You Have To Go Through The Storm
“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” - Haruki Murakami
Life is unpredictable. No surprises there.
You never know what lies around the corner waiting to test your resolve.
Life’s challenges are part of the human condition and yet none are immune from the ravages of existence. They arise for reasons we cannot comprehend and leave us like a wounded pigeon, with broken wings. Yet contained within this knowledge and in spite of life’s upheaval, we are able to reconnect to our authentic power however uncompromising conditions appear. This quote by Haruki Murakami signifies our ability to assume control of how we interpret pain and suffering, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Through my own trials I now appreciate the supreme lesson that we are ultimately not in control. With this knowledge, we surrender to universal forces to imbue us with the experiences to shape our destiny. Surrender does not mean apathy, in contrast it means mental and emotional detachment from preferred outcomes. We allow the process of life to unfold through us and in doing so trust our needs are fulfilled at the right time.
You are never presented with an experience that is the sum of your conditioning. Each challenge stretches you to grow beyond your comfort zone. Comparable with the seasons which arrive and recede, your challenges serve a purpose. Sometimes it may not be obvious for a long time, yet everything unfolds in line with a supreme order. I am neither referring to religion nor spirituality, but an intricate universal order which governs the framework of reality.
There is an ancient Sufi passage that states, “This too shall pass.” Reflect on these words during your darkest hour. Pain and suffering recedes to give way to a harmonious solution. Painful challenges dissolve in the same way morning fog lifts to reveal a brilliant day.
Yield to your challenges by leaning in to them instead of opposing them. What happens when you move into your challenges than run away from them? You face them head on and build self-confidence. The storm represents your darkest hour amid the backdrop of uncertainty. Known as the dark night of the soul, the storm serves a purpose. It endows you with vital resources intended for your personal evolution.
It is by no mistake that the bigger we play, the harder we fall. Challenges can arise suddenly, yet lead us to a deeper knowledge of ourselves. Your personal growth is impeded were it not for the difficult times. Man does not rise to his best under the kindest conditions, yet in the harshest storm he discovers his true potential.
Do not merely embrace the good times, savour the difficult times as well since progress is realised under testing conditions. The happiest people are those who have undergone hardship to emerge with deep wisdom to share with others.
We prevail not in waiting for the storm to pass, but in proceeding through the storm. Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” You see, the storm shapes your inner landscape by exposing your strengths and weaknesses. It sharpens the saw as Stephen Covey reminds us in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
“If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.” - Mahatma Gandhi
If you are feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges, get back on your feet and persist through it. Acquire the lessons, experience the pain. We must venture beyond our comfort zone daily if we are to awaken our potential. Those who settle, burn out well before their time has come. It was George Bernard Shaw who said, “I want to be all used up before I die.”
Similarly, we must strive to nurture patience and self-compassion as we endure the storm. In doing so you develop a resilient sense of self. Consider your advice to a close friend or family member undergoing a similar trial.
The Buddha teaches the Four Noble Truths essential to his teachings. They apply to us if we seek to understand the nature of adversity and how to make sense of it in our lives.
If we wish to penetrate the true nature of our existence, we must develop a deeper knowledge of ourselves. Suffering is the threshold into one’s reality, perceived through the lens of adversity. The Four Noble Truths affirm that life is impermanent – everything is in a transitory state, even our pain and troubles.
Your response to hardship is measured by your attitude and mental resilience. Charles Swindoll said, “Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I’ve come that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.”
Therefore, it is not life’s volatility that is the cause of our hardship, yet how we interpret those events that shape our life. We have two choices in each challenge: rise to it and in doing so overcome it or retreat into despair. The latter invites more suffering and erodes our personal self.
We all suffer pain in one form or another, yet the degree to which we choose to suffer remains within our control.
Life is unpredictable. No surprises there.
You never know what lies around the corner waiting to test your resolve.
Life’s challenges are part of the human condition and yet none are immune from the ravages of existence. They arise for reasons we cannot comprehend and leave us like a wounded pigeon, with broken wings. Yet contained within this knowledge and in spite of life’s upheaval, we are able to reconnect to our authentic power however uncompromising conditions appear. This quote by Haruki Murakami signifies our ability to assume control of how we interpret pain and suffering, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Through my own trials I now appreciate the supreme lesson that we are ultimately not in control. With this knowledge, we surrender to universal forces to imbue us with the experiences to shape our destiny. Surrender does not mean apathy, in contrast it means mental and emotional detachment from preferred outcomes. We allow the process of life to unfold through us and in doing so trust our needs are fulfilled at the right time.
You are never presented with an experience that is the sum of your conditioning. Each challenge stretches you to grow beyond your comfort zone. Comparable with the seasons which arrive and recede, your challenges serve a purpose. Sometimes it may not be obvious for a long time, yet everything unfolds in line with a supreme order. I am neither referring to religion nor spirituality, but an intricate universal order which governs the framework of reality.
There is an ancient Sufi passage that states, “This too shall pass.” Reflect on these words during your darkest hour. Pain and suffering recedes to give way to a harmonious solution. Painful challenges dissolve in the same way morning fog lifts to reveal a brilliant day.
Yield to your challenges by leaning in to them instead of opposing them. What happens when you move into your challenges than run away from them? You face them head on and build self-confidence. The storm represents your darkest hour amid the backdrop of uncertainty. Known as the dark night of the soul, the storm serves a purpose. It endows you with vital resources intended for your personal evolution.
It is by no mistake that the bigger we play, the harder we fall. Challenges can arise suddenly, yet lead us to a deeper knowledge of ourselves. Your personal growth is impeded were it not for the difficult times. Man does not rise to his best under the kindest conditions, yet in the harshest storm he discovers his true potential.
Do not merely embrace the good times, savour the difficult times as well since progress is realised under testing conditions. The happiest people are those who have undergone hardship to emerge with deep wisdom to share with others.
We prevail not in waiting for the storm to pass, but in proceeding through the storm. Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” You see, the storm shapes your inner landscape by exposing your strengths and weaknesses. It sharpens the saw as Stephen Covey reminds us in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
“If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.” - Mahatma Gandhi
If you are feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges, get back on your feet and persist through it. Acquire the lessons, experience the pain. We must venture beyond our comfort zone daily if we are to awaken our potential. Those who settle, burn out well before their time has come. It was George Bernard Shaw who said, “I want to be all used up before I die.”
Similarly, we must strive to nurture patience and self-compassion as we endure the storm. In doing so you develop a resilient sense of self. Consider your advice to a close friend or family member undergoing a similar trial.
The Buddha teaches the Four Noble Truths essential to his teachings. They apply to us if we seek to understand the nature of adversity and how to make sense of it in our lives.
If we wish to penetrate the true nature of our existence, we must develop a deeper knowledge of ourselves. Suffering is the threshold into one’s reality, perceived through the lens of adversity. The Four Noble Truths affirm that life is impermanent – everything is in a transitory state, even our pain and troubles.
Your response to hardship is measured by your attitude and mental resilience. Charles Swindoll said, “Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I’ve come that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.”
Therefore, it is not life’s volatility that is the cause of our hardship, yet how we interpret those events that shape our life. We have two choices in each challenge: rise to it and in doing so overcome it or retreat into despair. The latter invites more suffering and erodes our personal self.
We all suffer pain in one form or another, yet the degree to which we choose to suffer remains within our control.
Letting Go Of The Person You Used To Be
“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” – Jack Kornfield
“In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are,” asserts Michael Singer in his acclaimed book, The Untethered Soul.
Our perception of self is a mental construct and does not represent who we are. The image of the Self is formed to preserve your position in the world and indicates who you represent.
From the moment of birth we identify with our human form and build an identity around it. As we mature from childhood to adulthood, this image is reinforced for the rest of our life.
Yet our lives are nothing more than the accumulation of past conditioning. You are not who you are today as a result of your past, but because of your past. By letting go of who you used to be, you allow the authentic self to emerge, instead of concealing it behind an imagined self.
In her book Mindfulness, author Ellen J. Langer states, “The more we realize that most of our views of ourselves, of others, and of presumed limits regarding our talents, our health, and our happiness were mindlessly accepted by us at an earlier time in our lives, the more we open up to the realization that these too can change. And all we need to do to begin the process is to be mindful.”
If you discard your identity, what is left?
The core self, the deepest part of your spiritual being.
How do you recognise this Self?
It has been with you throughout eternity and while you identify with your body and mind as separate, you disconnect from it.
We ignore our feelings by suppressing our emotions, to dissociate from painful moments. Our lives fall apart and we fail to see the writing on the wall, despite the obvious signs that we turn a blind eye to.
I want you to recognise your primary state is not one of anxiety, fear or stress. These are acquired states shaped through your environment. A child knows nothing of these ideas until attained through its learning. We are only the simple pure awareness at the core of our being.
Be vigilant against identifying with equivalent labels since it limits your evolution as a spiritual being. We erect a wall around us. Think of a baby elephant tethered to a stake in the ground. Whilst it matures to full-size, it remains unaware of its potential having accepted its limitations from an early age.
Similarly, we cannot assume our sole character will carry us through life and not be receptive to change. We must transform to cultivate our strengths. It is through experiencing pain that life offers us that opportunity.
“You’ve got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old – whatever “the old” means for you.” - Sarah Ban Breathnach
In their best-selling book titled The Tools, authors and psychotherapists Phil Stutz and Michels Barry impart their wisdom related to our pain story, “Your experience of pain changes relative to how you react to it. When you move toward it, pain shrinks. When you move away from it, pain grows. If you flee from it, pain pursues you like a monster in a dream.”
Letting go of who you used to be is comparable to the caterpillar’s transformation to a butterfly. Change is the principle of life - we reframe change to coincide with our evolutionary development instead of regarding it as undesirable.
In light of this, I invite you to connect with your deepest wisdom. While it may sound like New Age mumbo jumbo, at the very least it is your connection to your spiritual essence. Who is the person behind the beliefs, thoughts and ideas? If I asked who you are, you’d recite a list of your past achievements, where you’ve been and what you do for a living.
But who are you now, in this moment?
It commands courage to discard the old self since we don’t know who we will become. As children we adopt our self-image from trusted authorities. Yet as adults, the role is assumed by us, which means having to navigate the treacherous road to discover our self-identity.
What if we get it wrong?
What if we don’t like who we become?
What if change is painful and we want to go back to our former self?
We can take refuge as long as we are moving toward the person we wish to be, we are heading in the right direction. There are no assurances, yet knowing pain is temporary is testament to the purpose it serves, while unbeknownst to us.
Phil Stutz and Michels Barry remind us once more, “Pain is the universe’s way of demanding that you continue to learn. The more pain you can tolerate, the more you can learn.”
We must be careful to avoid settling toward the journey to wholeness. People assume, “This is who I am and I cannot change.” This is erroneous thinking since one’s identity is fluid, enduring constant change over the course of your lifetime.
Equally, character is shaped and formed from an early age, yet it remains malleable throughout life. We adapt to our environment in line with our changing needs. The individual you knew as single in your twenties, is not the same person as when you’re married with children in your forties. You believe your character is fixed and this misconception stands in your way of attaining inner freedom.
Ultimately, our willingness to let go of the person we used to be creates a space for the person we have been all along – the complete, wholeness of the eternal self.
“In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are,” asserts Michael Singer in his acclaimed book, The Untethered Soul.
Our perception of self is a mental construct and does not represent who we are. The image of the Self is formed to preserve your position in the world and indicates who you represent.
From the moment of birth we identify with our human form and build an identity around it. As we mature from childhood to adulthood, this image is reinforced for the rest of our life.
Yet our lives are nothing more than the accumulation of past conditioning. You are not who you are today as a result of your past, but because of your past. By letting go of who you used to be, you allow the authentic self to emerge, instead of concealing it behind an imagined self.
In her book Mindfulness, author Ellen J. Langer states, “The more we realize that most of our views of ourselves, of others, and of presumed limits regarding our talents, our health, and our happiness were mindlessly accepted by us at an earlier time in our lives, the more we open up to the realization that these too can change. And all we need to do to begin the process is to be mindful.”
If you discard your identity, what is left?
The core self, the deepest part of your spiritual being.
How do you recognise this Self?
It has been with you throughout eternity and while you identify with your body and mind as separate, you disconnect from it.
We ignore our feelings by suppressing our emotions, to dissociate from painful moments. Our lives fall apart and we fail to see the writing on the wall, despite the obvious signs that we turn a blind eye to.
I want you to recognise your primary state is not one of anxiety, fear or stress. These are acquired states shaped through your environment. A child knows nothing of these ideas until attained through its learning. We are only the simple pure awareness at the core of our being.
Be vigilant against identifying with equivalent labels since it limits your evolution as a spiritual being. We erect a wall around us. Think of a baby elephant tethered to a stake in the ground. Whilst it matures to full-size, it remains unaware of its potential having accepted its limitations from an early age.
Similarly, we cannot assume our sole character will carry us through life and not be receptive to change. We must transform to cultivate our strengths. It is through experiencing pain that life offers us that opportunity.
“You’ve got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old – whatever “the old” means for you.” - Sarah Ban Breathnach
In their best-selling book titled The Tools, authors and psychotherapists Phil Stutz and Michels Barry impart their wisdom related to our pain story, “Your experience of pain changes relative to how you react to it. When you move toward it, pain shrinks. When you move away from it, pain grows. If you flee from it, pain pursues you like a monster in a dream.”
Letting go of who you used to be is comparable to the caterpillar’s transformation to a butterfly. Change is the principle of life - we reframe change to coincide with our evolutionary development instead of regarding it as undesirable.
In light of this, I invite you to connect with your deepest wisdom. While it may sound like New Age mumbo jumbo, at the very least it is your connection to your spiritual essence. Who is the person behind the beliefs, thoughts and ideas? If I asked who you are, you’d recite a list of your past achievements, where you’ve been and what you do for a living.
But who are you now, in this moment?
It commands courage to discard the old self since we don’t know who we will become. As children we adopt our self-image from trusted authorities. Yet as adults, the role is assumed by us, which means having to navigate the treacherous road to discover our self-identity.
What if we get it wrong?
What if we don’t like who we become?
What if change is painful and we want to go back to our former self?
We can take refuge as long as we are moving toward the person we wish to be, we are heading in the right direction. There are no assurances, yet knowing pain is temporary is testament to the purpose it serves, while unbeknownst to us.
Phil Stutz and Michels Barry remind us once more, “Pain is the universe’s way of demanding that you continue to learn. The more pain you can tolerate, the more you can learn.”
We must be careful to avoid settling toward the journey to wholeness. People assume, “This is who I am and I cannot change.” This is erroneous thinking since one’s identity is fluid, enduring constant change over the course of your lifetime.
Equally, character is shaped and formed from an early age, yet it remains malleable throughout life. We adapt to our environment in line with our changing needs. The individual you knew as single in your twenties, is not the same person as when you’re married with children in your forties. You believe your character is fixed and this misconception stands in your way of attaining inner freedom.
Ultimately, our willingness to let go of the person we used to be creates a space for the person we have been all along – the complete, wholeness of the eternal self.
