Tony Fahkry's Blog - Posts Tagged "ego"
Will The Real You Please Stand Up?
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” - Brené Brown
The Master was never impressed by diplomas or degrees. He scrutinised the person, not the certificate. He was once heard to say, "When you have ears to hear a bird in song, you don't need to look at its credentials."
The passage from Anthony De Mello’s book, One Minute Wisdom underscores the message that brilliance always seeks its own path to reveal itself.
Ask anyone, “Who are you?” and they will reel off a list of attributes relating to their occupation, education or familial status. “I am an architect, husband, father, mother, accountant, etc.” What you do in your waking hours encompasses one facet of your life. It holds significance we identify with but it doesn't tell us who we are at a deeper level.
Take a moment to consider who you truly are, beneath the surface and irrespective of your title or status. Who is the person you call the Self? The person you identify with as “I?” A facet of your being prevails beyond the individual you recognise in the mirror or see in photographs. This Self, although having transformed its external form over the years, remains the same.
In his book The Mind-Body Code, clinical neuropsychologist Dr Mario Martinez seeks to discover the key to longevity through interviews with centenarians. Having traversed the globe to uncover the secrets to long life, the common denominator among those who live beyond 100 years is the person they call “the Self” remains much the same.
Reflect on that for a moment. The person you know as “I” remains the same throughout your life because of your self-constructed image. Whilst your external façade may change, the essence of the “Self” is unchanged.
“Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.” - Eckhart Tolle
There is an underlying quality to your existence entrusted in goodness and recognised as the authentic self. Beneath your conditioning, the authentic self emerges to reveal the core self – the spiritual part of your nature. The authentic self is the embodiment of your soul nature – the immaterial Self which exists beyond the physical space-time continuum. This Self is not bound by the demands of our collective culture to conform by way of rules and regulations. It is boundless, transcending the limitations of time owing to its essence as simple awareness.
Equally, we recognise inauthenticity in others by labelling them as “fake.” However, we are less likely to detect the same flaws in ourselves. This is because we associate with the dominant egoic self which strives to achieve more and is never fulfilled until it gets what it wants. Thus we buy into its false demands needing more to survive.
In contrast, the authentic self does not support the same needs as the ego. Through a quiet stillness, it communicates to us in silent whispers. The authentic self can be drowned out by the voice of the ego. Many people fail to merge with their deeper wisdom due to the overpowering ego which dominates their life.
The American mythologist Joseph Campbell wrote, "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." The authentic self is concealed beneath the formed image of the Self whilst serving to obscure your spiritual nature. To realise the core self requires shedding the false image of who you think you are and allowing the real self to emerge.
As we strive to assimilate within our collective society, to venture beyond the pale as Dr Martinez describes, we risk being excluded from belonging. Those who embark on a journey to realise success in the world are no longer considered part of the tribe. Our social need to identify with our tribe is an acknowledgement of our belonging.
This begs the question, how do we unite with our authentic nature, concealed under the weight of our conditioning?
To reveal your authenticity means honouring the wisdom contained within the core self. At the deepest level, the soul’s yearning to express itself through you remains vital to your personal evolution. The authentic self honours the wisdom that you are more than your thoughts that relate to yourself. You created your image of self to exist and survive in the world, yet the eternal self does not associate with this likeness.
An authentic life requires you live according to your highest truth. It means embodying your innermost values which serve as guideposts for genuine living. Those who live an inauthentic life are prone to life’s struggle contained within the states of: boredom, mid-life crisis, addictions, infidelity, etc. They stray from their authentic self by buying into the false belief they are lacking in this respect.
Life succeeds through contrasts. It was Shakespeare who expressed through Hamlet that “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Whilst unsettling, life’s conflicting nature highlights our inner struggle to make sense of the world. This becomes clear as we dip our toes in the water to experience the other side. Thus a mid-life crisis becomes a call to heal unpleasant emotional conflicts we have abandoned. To stay stuck in a mid-life crisis however becomes a healing crisis vying for our attention.
As we merge with the authentic self, our problems, pain and struggles give rise to inspired living. We harmonise with our essential-self by integrating our highest values into the core of our being.
Self-analysis is a means to reawaken the authentic self by making conscious what was unconscious. I use reawaken since your default state at your conception is one of innocence and pure awareness. Byron Katie’s program The Work is a valuable healing and transformation tool which offers powerful insights for enquiring into unconscious beliefs to awaken the authentic self.
As you unite with the authentic self, a greater wholeness emerges to reveal the core self.
To appreciate a bird in song requires one to recognise the same tune within their own being. It is then our story of wholeness emerges out of the fog of separateness.
The Master was never impressed by diplomas or degrees. He scrutinised the person, not the certificate. He was once heard to say, "When you have ears to hear a bird in song, you don't need to look at its credentials."
The passage from Anthony De Mello’s book, One Minute Wisdom underscores the message that brilliance always seeks its own path to reveal itself.
Ask anyone, “Who are you?” and they will reel off a list of attributes relating to their occupation, education or familial status. “I am an architect, husband, father, mother, accountant, etc.” What you do in your waking hours encompasses one facet of your life. It holds significance we identify with but it doesn't tell us who we are at a deeper level.
Take a moment to consider who you truly are, beneath the surface and irrespective of your title or status. Who is the person you call the Self? The person you identify with as “I?” A facet of your being prevails beyond the individual you recognise in the mirror or see in photographs. This Self, although having transformed its external form over the years, remains the same.
In his book The Mind-Body Code, clinical neuropsychologist Dr Mario Martinez seeks to discover the key to longevity through interviews with centenarians. Having traversed the globe to uncover the secrets to long life, the common denominator among those who live beyond 100 years is the person they call “the Self” remains much the same.
Reflect on that for a moment. The person you know as “I” remains the same throughout your life because of your self-constructed image. Whilst your external façade may change, the essence of the “Self” is unchanged.
“Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.” - Eckhart Tolle
There is an underlying quality to your existence entrusted in goodness and recognised as the authentic self. Beneath your conditioning, the authentic self emerges to reveal the core self – the spiritual part of your nature. The authentic self is the embodiment of your soul nature – the immaterial Self which exists beyond the physical space-time continuum. This Self is not bound by the demands of our collective culture to conform by way of rules and regulations. It is boundless, transcending the limitations of time owing to its essence as simple awareness.
Equally, we recognise inauthenticity in others by labelling them as “fake.” However, we are less likely to detect the same flaws in ourselves. This is because we associate with the dominant egoic self which strives to achieve more and is never fulfilled until it gets what it wants. Thus we buy into its false demands needing more to survive.
In contrast, the authentic self does not support the same needs as the ego. Through a quiet stillness, it communicates to us in silent whispers. The authentic self can be drowned out by the voice of the ego. Many people fail to merge with their deeper wisdom due to the overpowering ego which dominates their life.
The American mythologist Joseph Campbell wrote, "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." The authentic self is concealed beneath the formed image of the Self whilst serving to obscure your spiritual nature. To realise the core self requires shedding the false image of who you think you are and allowing the real self to emerge.
As we strive to assimilate within our collective society, to venture beyond the pale as Dr Martinez describes, we risk being excluded from belonging. Those who embark on a journey to realise success in the world are no longer considered part of the tribe. Our social need to identify with our tribe is an acknowledgement of our belonging.
This begs the question, how do we unite with our authentic nature, concealed under the weight of our conditioning?
To reveal your authenticity means honouring the wisdom contained within the core self. At the deepest level, the soul’s yearning to express itself through you remains vital to your personal evolution. The authentic self honours the wisdom that you are more than your thoughts that relate to yourself. You created your image of self to exist and survive in the world, yet the eternal self does not associate with this likeness.
An authentic life requires you live according to your highest truth. It means embodying your innermost values which serve as guideposts for genuine living. Those who live an inauthentic life are prone to life’s struggle contained within the states of: boredom, mid-life crisis, addictions, infidelity, etc. They stray from their authentic self by buying into the false belief they are lacking in this respect.
Life succeeds through contrasts. It was Shakespeare who expressed through Hamlet that “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Whilst unsettling, life’s conflicting nature highlights our inner struggle to make sense of the world. This becomes clear as we dip our toes in the water to experience the other side. Thus a mid-life crisis becomes a call to heal unpleasant emotional conflicts we have abandoned. To stay stuck in a mid-life crisis however becomes a healing crisis vying for our attention.
As we merge with the authentic self, our problems, pain and struggles give rise to inspired living. We harmonise with our essential-self by integrating our highest values into the core of our being.
Self-analysis is a means to reawaken the authentic self by making conscious what was unconscious. I use reawaken since your default state at your conception is one of innocence and pure awareness. Byron Katie’s program The Work is a valuable healing and transformation tool which offers powerful insights for enquiring into unconscious beliefs to awaken the authentic self.
As you unite with the authentic self, a greater wholeness emerges to reveal the core self.
To appreciate a bird in song requires one to recognise the same tune within their own being. It is then our story of wholeness emerges out of the fog of separateness.
Discover Your True Identity
“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” - Thomas Szasz
What is lost can never be found, what is found can never be forgotten.
So echoes the quest to realise your true identity.
I remain convinced you do not discover your identity in as much as evolve into it. As you discard the image of the formed self, you allow the authentic self to emerge. According to author Neale Donald Walsch, “Your soul is who you are. Your body and your mind are what you use to experience who you are in the Realm of the Relative.”
A strong identity is upheld by the capacity to realise your life purpose and live it. Those who stray from their purpose lose their identity and later strive to assign meaning to their life. People in intimate relationships refer to similar feelings of losing their identity. These examples highlight the cause of attaching one’s identity to action – i.e. being, doing and having does not define identity. The ego adds a layer to the formed self to keep it safe while safeguarding its position in the world.
What if you failed to realise your purpose or if your relationship dissolved - what is your identity then? This is a common experience for those who endure a similar fate.
It begs the question - Who am I? If I am not my insert title here then who am I? Allow me to persuade you that a title does not make up your identity, it adds a layer to it. A relationship does not define you, it complements you – it draws out the best in you. If the relationship ends, it does not mean a part of you is lost. The relationship revealed aspects of your identity by adding a piece to the puzzle.
The perceived self is a façade owing to your past conditioning.
Reflect on that for a moment.
Who are you if not for the sum of your past? I.e. family, schooling, friends and life experiences. Who is the person you call “I” after all?
Allow me to cite a personal example. Over a decade ago I formed an image of being a successful fashion designer working abroad. My father was a tailor and mother trained as a dressmaker. Meanwhile I gained a B.A. in Fashion Design at university and fulfilled my dream to work in Europe prior to my realisation.
Yet the image of a successful designer was an identity I created to convince myself that a tailor’s son had made it big. Yet many years later when my father passed away, I recall that image perish along with him. I abandoned the identity of the successful designer since it was not what I desired after all.
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” - Buddha
So we must venture beyond who we think we are to allow the authentic self to reflect our identity. We should dare to step outside our comfort zone, to peer through an alternate reality if we wish to discover who we really are. Your true identity may be found somewhere between your imagined self and outside your comfort zone. It was Bruce Hood author of The Self Illusion: Who Do You Think You Are? who states, “Who we are is a story of our self – a constructed narrative that our brain creates.” Whilst it may appear clinical to consider your self-image representative of your brain activity, I am inclined to believe this to be true on an inclusive level.
It beckons the question: why do we form an identity? Known as individuation, a Jungian term which refers to transformation of the psyche by uniting the personal and collective unconscious into conscious. It is the awareness of oneself to discover your true identity. Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist, proposed we undergo eight stages to psychosocial development throughout our life. Self-identity then is seen to be an evolving process over the course of your lifetime.
In keeping with this understanding, make it a lasting priority to discover your essential self to avoid living an inauthentic life. Once realised, strive to live according to those values and principles by embodying them at the deepest level. Be wary though of associating conduct with identity given its inaccurate measure of character. Behaviour is fluid and changes as you grow and evolve.
True identity is formed through self-awareness, by letting go of conditioned thoughts and beliefs. At this level your choices are in alignment with your true identity. You challenge long held beliefs, by choosing to retain thoughts that resonate with your deepest self, while discarding others. As your life circumstances change, you integrate those experiences into your identity.
To strengthen one’s self-identity is commensurate with acting according to your formed image. Your self-esteem is reinforced when you uphold this image. As you look past inherited cultural identities e.g. tough, emotional, sensitive, brave, etc. you discover your own identity. Cultural identities diminish overtime while the authentic self is timeless and not bound by labels. The authentic self is often obscured beneath the veil of an imagined self which thrives due to the reinforced image of self.
Acknowledge your limitations while working within your perceived boundaries, by directing your attention towards your passions and interests. You let go of outdated beliefs to make room for actions that emanate from your authentic self. To discover one’s identity becomes a journey of self-exploration. You might venture from one extreme to the other while finding your true identity lies somewhere in between. Hence, once you have determined your values, abide by them. Whenever you violate your values, you weaken your sense of self.
To discover your true identity, surrender the formed image of self while allowing the authentic self to emerge. The authentic self cannot be weakened or destroyed since it remains the essence of your being at the core level.
Similarly, discard ideas, beliefs and destructive emotions which no longer serve you. Release them so your essential nature merges to replace the formed identity which you have given power to.
Once found, your true identity can never be lost since it has been present all along. It merely impersonates itself as the ego to help you find your place in the world.
What is lost can never be found, what is found can never be forgotten.
So echoes the quest to realise your true identity.
I remain convinced you do not discover your identity in as much as evolve into it. As you discard the image of the formed self, you allow the authentic self to emerge. According to author Neale Donald Walsch, “Your soul is who you are. Your body and your mind are what you use to experience who you are in the Realm of the Relative.”
A strong identity is upheld by the capacity to realise your life purpose and live it. Those who stray from their purpose lose their identity and later strive to assign meaning to their life. People in intimate relationships refer to similar feelings of losing their identity. These examples highlight the cause of attaching one’s identity to action – i.e. being, doing and having does not define identity. The ego adds a layer to the formed self to keep it safe while safeguarding its position in the world.
What if you failed to realise your purpose or if your relationship dissolved - what is your identity then? This is a common experience for those who endure a similar fate.
It begs the question - Who am I? If I am not my insert title here then who am I? Allow me to persuade you that a title does not make up your identity, it adds a layer to it. A relationship does not define you, it complements you – it draws out the best in you. If the relationship ends, it does not mean a part of you is lost. The relationship revealed aspects of your identity by adding a piece to the puzzle.
The perceived self is a façade owing to your past conditioning.
Reflect on that for a moment.
Who are you if not for the sum of your past? I.e. family, schooling, friends and life experiences. Who is the person you call “I” after all?
Allow me to cite a personal example. Over a decade ago I formed an image of being a successful fashion designer working abroad. My father was a tailor and mother trained as a dressmaker. Meanwhile I gained a B.A. in Fashion Design at university and fulfilled my dream to work in Europe prior to my realisation.
Yet the image of a successful designer was an identity I created to convince myself that a tailor’s son had made it big. Yet many years later when my father passed away, I recall that image perish along with him. I abandoned the identity of the successful designer since it was not what I desired after all.
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” - Buddha
So we must venture beyond who we think we are to allow the authentic self to reflect our identity. We should dare to step outside our comfort zone, to peer through an alternate reality if we wish to discover who we really are. Your true identity may be found somewhere between your imagined self and outside your comfort zone. It was Bruce Hood author of The Self Illusion: Who Do You Think You Are? who states, “Who we are is a story of our self – a constructed narrative that our brain creates.” Whilst it may appear clinical to consider your self-image representative of your brain activity, I am inclined to believe this to be true on an inclusive level.
It beckons the question: why do we form an identity? Known as individuation, a Jungian term which refers to transformation of the psyche by uniting the personal and collective unconscious into conscious. It is the awareness of oneself to discover your true identity. Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist, proposed we undergo eight stages to psychosocial development throughout our life. Self-identity then is seen to be an evolving process over the course of your lifetime.
In keeping with this understanding, make it a lasting priority to discover your essential self to avoid living an inauthentic life. Once realised, strive to live according to those values and principles by embodying them at the deepest level. Be wary though of associating conduct with identity given its inaccurate measure of character. Behaviour is fluid and changes as you grow and evolve.
True identity is formed through self-awareness, by letting go of conditioned thoughts and beliefs. At this level your choices are in alignment with your true identity. You challenge long held beliefs, by choosing to retain thoughts that resonate with your deepest self, while discarding others. As your life circumstances change, you integrate those experiences into your identity.
To strengthen one’s self-identity is commensurate with acting according to your formed image. Your self-esteem is reinforced when you uphold this image. As you look past inherited cultural identities e.g. tough, emotional, sensitive, brave, etc. you discover your own identity. Cultural identities diminish overtime while the authentic self is timeless and not bound by labels. The authentic self is often obscured beneath the veil of an imagined self which thrives due to the reinforced image of self.
Acknowledge your limitations while working within your perceived boundaries, by directing your attention towards your passions and interests. You let go of outdated beliefs to make room for actions that emanate from your authentic self. To discover one’s identity becomes a journey of self-exploration. You might venture from one extreme to the other while finding your true identity lies somewhere in between. Hence, once you have determined your values, abide by them. Whenever you violate your values, you weaken your sense of self.
To discover your true identity, surrender the formed image of self while allowing the authentic self to emerge. The authentic self cannot be weakened or destroyed since it remains the essence of your being at the core level.
Similarly, discard ideas, beliefs and destructive emotions which no longer serve you. Release them so your essential nature merges to replace the formed identity which you have given power to.
Once found, your true identity can never be lost since it has been present all along. It merely impersonates itself as the ego to help you find your place in the world.
