Rebekah Jonesy's Blog, page 15
May 30, 2015
Do Over
After way too long I have a new book coming out. Do Over will be hitting Amazon Monday. A romance about second chances and not letting obstacles stop you from getting what you want.
March 4, 2015
Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know
I think this is something a lot of couples need to read. If you spend the majority of your time mentally checked out from your relationship, don't be surprised when your SO decides to check out completely.
Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know
Be sure to check out Part 2 and 3 as well.
Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know
Be sure to check out Part 2 and 3 as well.
February 24, 2015
50 shades is not bdsm romance, it's rape porn
One of my first reviews compared my book to 50 Shades of Grey. I was impressed at the time because it was such a well selling book. I figured that if it was so popular it had to be a good book. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to sit down then and read it. With all the hype from the movie and the various blog posts about it, a lot of them being negative, I decided it was time to sit down and actually read it for myself before making a judgement call.
Now I really wish I hadn't. I just finished reading it and I want to go take a hot shower because I feel so unclean. Deliverance wasn't this unsettling, but then that movie about rape and torture wasn't touted as a love story either. And it had a happy ending with the bad guys getting what they deserved. There is no happy ending with 50 Shades.
Normally I am a fast reader. I read about a page a minute. But this book, a little over 500 pages, has taken me weeks to finish. It's stilted and not very descriptive. The first half of the book has confusing wording and I had to reread some lines multiple times to figure it out. The pace isn't constant and jumps around, leading to even more confusion. It's just not good writing. The main characters are introduced and they have no redeeming qualities. They are rude, thoughtless, immature, and selfish.
He is abrupt, shallow and condescending. Grey wants a Master/slave relationship but he never explains that fully. What he does explain shows that the author has no understanding of BDSM in any of it's forms. He thinks his constant brain washing and rape techniques will shape her into the emotionless object he wants to enjoy fucking and beating.
She is stupid, spineless, and bizarrely insulated. Steele wants a high school romance but never really asks for it. She seems to think the magic of her vagina and inner goddess will win him over "into the light" and out of his darkness. And then
They both try to settle for a relationship where neither one of them gets even close to what they want. What. The. Hell?
Just that is enough to make me want to never read the next book. But the ick factor doesn't stop there. Grey is also a victim of abuse/neglect (from his biological mother) and sexual assault from the friend of his adoptive mother. He has serious Stockholm syndrome and still cares for the woman that raped, beat, and enslaved him when he was a teenager. He sees nothing wrong with it and is thankful to the woman. She allowed him to love in a way he was comfortable with, he says.
Steele is told repeatedly that Grey is no good for her. She even tells herself that he is no good for her. She acknowledges that his actions (the stalking, coercive sex, fucking her into submission, the over the top gifts, the physical pain and emotional manipulation) are all bad. But he makes her inner goddess happy. In other words he gave her orgasms. So she keeps agreeing to see him. She tries to make him happy, so he won't be so abusive. But she can't. So he stalks her, threatens her, rapes her, embarrasses her, and keeps her confused. All while constantly demeaning her and telling her it is for her own good and explaining how she hurts him when she doesn't go along with what he wants. So in order to not hurt him, because he has been hurt so much in his dark past, she agrees to things she does not like and does not want to do.
That is not a bdsm relationship. Uninformed consent is not consent. Steele does not know what she is getting into, what is going to happen to her, or what is expected of her. Grey doesn't care, at least not enough to slow down and introduce these things to her slowly so she can understand them. He tells her to accept it and be willing to enjoy it. Because that is the only way he knows how to get off, and he really wants to get off with her. His erection demands it and he does not like to be denied. But then she does deny him. She closes her legs so he can't play with her pussy while at the dinner table with his family. So he takes her outside, jerks her around, yells at her, throws her over his shoulder and carries her to the boathouse. Then he fucks her and threatens her with punishment if she orgasms. She doesn't know what she has done to merit the abuse, he doesn't bother to explain. He even tells her that it was hot the way she defied him. But he still punishes her for it.
And that is the sum of their "relationship". He decides when she has broken a rule that she doesn't understand and then punishes her in ways she does not like. Any time she tries to end things or slow them down, he coerces her into trying again. And again. And again. That is the definition of an abusive relationship.
A bdsm relationship is about trust and respect. Trust is built on communication and time. The dom has to trust that sub knows what they want and how much they can take. The sub has to trust the dom to abide by the agreement and not to go farther than agreed but to still go as far as they want. Being a dom entails a ton of responsibility, especially when the sub is new to it. You must have good communication in order to establish those bounds. And both parties have to understand what they are talking about and what everything entails. Those things take weeks and many long talks and probably a few demonstrations. A single strike so they know what it feels like. A slow build up, with comforting words and open talks. Making sure your sub is in the right head space to enjoy what is happening. And constantly making certain, every step of the way, that the sub understands what is happening and what is expected.
Grey can not communicate, or is completely unwilling to. Steele does not understand any of it and is apparently too stupid to do more than read a wiki article about it. (Which still puts her one step up from the author, who it seems didn't even bother doing that much research.) So they both go in, flogs swinging, and they both get hurt. And it's being called an erotic bdsm romance, except it's not bdsm or a romance. It's rape porn with a fantastic PR campaign.
Now I really wish I hadn't. I just finished reading it and I want to go take a hot shower because I feel so unclean. Deliverance wasn't this unsettling, but then that movie about rape and torture wasn't touted as a love story either. And it had a happy ending with the bad guys getting what they deserved. There is no happy ending with 50 Shades.
Normally I am a fast reader. I read about a page a minute. But this book, a little over 500 pages, has taken me weeks to finish. It's stilted and not very descriptive. The first half of the book has confusing wording and I had to reread some lines multiple times to figure it out. The pace isn't constant and jumps around, leading to even more confusion. It's just not good writing. The main characters are introduced and they have no redeeming qualities. They are rude, thoughtless, immature, and selfish.
He is abrupt, shallow and condescending. Grey wants a Master/slave relationship but he never explains that fully. What he does explain shows that the author has no understanding of BDSM in any of it's forms. He thinks his constant brain washing and rape techniques will shape her into the emotionless object he wants to enjoy fucking and beating.
She is stupid, spineless, and bizarrely insulated. Steele wants a high school romance but never really asks for it. She seems to think the magic of her vagina and inner goddess will win him over "into the light" and out of his darkness. And then
They both try to settle for a relationship where neither one of them gets even close to what they want. What. The. Hell?
Just that is enough to make me want to never read the next book. But the ick factor doesn't stop there. Grey is also a victim of abuse/neglect (from his biological mother) and sexual assault from the friend of his adoptive mother. He has serious Stockholm syndrome and still cares for the woman that raped, beat, and enslaved him when he was a teenager. He sees nothing wrong with it and is thankful to the woman. She allowed him to love in a way he was comfortable with, he says.
Steele is told repeatedly that Grey is no good for her. She even tells herself that he is no good for her. She acknowledges that his actions (the stalking, coercive sex, fucking her into submission, the over the top gifts, the physical pain and emotional manipulation) are all bad. But he makes her inner goddess happy. In other words he gave her orgasms. So she keeps agreeing to see him. She tries to make him happy, so he won't be so abusive. But she can't. So he stalks her, threatens her, rapes her, embarrasses her, and keeps her confused. All while constantly demeaning her and telling her it is for her own good and explaining how she hurts him when she doesn't go along with what he wants. So in order to not hurt him, because he has been hurt so much in his dark past, she agrees to things she does not like and does not want to do.
That is not a bdsm relationship. Uninformed consent is not consent. Steele does not know what she is getting into, what is going to happen to her, or what is expected of her. Grey doesn't care, at least not enough to slow down and introduce these things to her slowly so she can understand them. He tells her to accept it and be willing to enjoy it. Because that is the only way he knows how to get off, and he really wants to get off with her. His erection demands it and he does not like to be denied. But then she does deny him. She closes her legs so he can't play with her pussy while at the dinner table with his family. So he takes her outside, jerks her around, yells at her, throws her over his shoulder and carries her to the boathouse. Then he fucks her and threatens her with punishment if she orgasms. She doesn't know what she has done to merit the abuse, he doesn't bother to explain. He even tells her that it was hot the way she defied him. But he still punishes her for it.
And that is the sum of their "relationship". He decides when she has broken a rule that she doesn't understand and then punishes her in ways she does not like. Any time she tries to end things or slow them down, he coerces her into trying again. And again. And again. That is the definition of an abusive relationship.
A bdsm relationship is about trust and respect. Trust is built on communication and time. The dom has to trust that sub knows what they want and how much they can take. The sub has to trust the dom to abide by the agreement and not to go farther than agreed but to still go as far as they want. Being a dom entails a ton of responsibility, especially when the sub is new to it. You must have good communication in order to establish those bounds. And both parties have to understand what they are talking about and what everything entails. Those things take weeks and many long talks and probably a few demonstrations. A single strike so they know what it feels like. A slow build up, with comforting words and open talks. Making sure your sub is in the right head space to enjoy what is happening. And constantly making certain, every step of the way, that the sub understands what is happening and what is expected.
Grey can not communicate, or is completely unwilling to. Steele does not understand any of it and is apparently too stupid to do more than read a wiki article about it. (Which still puts her one step up from the author, who it seems didn't even bother doing that much research.) So they both go in, flogs swinging, and they both get hurt. And it's being called an erotic bdsm romance, except it's not bdsm or a romance. It's rape porn with a fantastic PR campaign.
September 10, 2014
Free Book
I have recently changed my book Plans Revealed to be a free book. Follow the link if you would like to get it. And as always I appreciate any reviews. Happy reading!
August 22, 2014
Take Charge comes out
My latest book, Take Charge, is out at Smashwords. It will be available soon on Amazon as well. It's a story about a wife who is fighting with herself about what she should want, as opposed to what she does want. And what she ends up getting, when she does find the strength to ask for more. Because husbands have needs as well. And there is give and take in any good relationship.
August 14, 2014
Where to find me
The great thing about the internet is that it is such a huge and tiny place. It is just as easy to find something online as it is to get lost. To make sure I don't get lost I thought I would post a list of where to find me on various websites. So here it is, in no particular order.
Smashwords (Ok, this comes first because I love them so much)
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Goodreads
iTunes
Scribd
Twitter
App Annie
Facebook
Kobo
Smashwords (Ok, this comes first because I love them so much)
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Goodreads
iTunes
Scribd
App Annie
Kobo
August 11, 2014
Coming Attractions
I know I haven't published in a while, and that really sucks. It's been months now. But I have been working on it. So I thought I would give my followers a little sneak peak.
"Ruth is a normal wife, living a normal life. She has everything she has always been told that she needs. A husband she loves and who loves her back, two healthy and happy children, a beautiful home and a fulfilling job. So why does her body and soul seem to yearn for more? Why does she seek out a certain kinky type of book to read when her husband is sleeping at night? When she reads one of her favorite blogs, Candy Land, she thinks she might have found a way to get that bit more that she craves. All she has to do is work up the nerve to take charge, and hope that her husband is willing to do the same to her."
August 7, 2014
The Unexpected
One of the greatest joys in my life, that I never knew existed till recently, is hearing back from people that read my books. When I put out my first series, Safely Begun, I heard a lot of feedback from it. Most of it was word of mouth. My friends read it they said they enjoyed it. Some were even shocked by what I wrote. I didn't really understand the shock from the sex scenes, but to each their own.
I was thrilled to hear that people liked it. But considering most of those people were my friends, I thought it was best to take it will with a grain of salt. After all, Mark Coker warned writers about that very thing in his marketing guide. The people that know us are more likely to be impressed that we wrote anything at all.
But two reviews really struck a chord with me. One was from a stranger, hphsophia on Smashwords about the first book of the trilogy. She wrote, "Jesus H Christ this makes SOG look like Wuthering Heights. Some of the best described scenes I have ever read. And an actual story to boot. Please write more quickly." As soon as I read that I called my mother, all excited. Then I had to explain to her what Shades of Gray was. That was fun. But I was still really excited about it. It was my first stranger review and it was a good one. I was so thrilled that I immediately did what she asked and wrote more quickly.
However it was the second review that really got to me. My friend, Amber, called me up. She had been helping me spread the word about my books. She's awesome like that. One of the women she had told about my books contacted her. She told Amber that she liked the book. A nice pat on the back for me, but nothing too terribly exciting, even if it came from an unbiased person. Amber hadn't told her that she knew the author. But about a week later, the woman's husband called as well. He told her that he didn't know what his wife had been reading, but it had made a huge change for them. In fact, he told Amber, it had probably saved their marriage. I don't know what it was about the story that got to her. But something that I had written had drastically changed the sexual relationship she had with her husband, which was the root of their problem. I had tears in my eyes when I heard about it. And hearing that made me want to write more.
It was one thing to get a review written on a website. But to hear that my story may have saved a marriage... I was in awe. So to those people I did not know, and still don't know, I hope you are doing well. And I hope you have many happy sexy years together. This writer will keep doing what she has been doing, and hoping that more people embrace their own sexual selves. Just keep it safe, sane, and consensual.
I was thrilled to hear that people liked it. But considering most of those people were my friends, I thought it was best to take it will with a grain of salt. After all, Mark Coker warned writers about that very thing in his marketing guide. The people that know us are more likely to be impressed that we wrote anything at all.
But two reviews really struck a chord with me. One was from a stranger, hphsophia on Smashwords about the first book of the trilogy. She wrote, "Jesus H Christ this makes SOG look like Wuthering Heights. Some of the best described scenes I have ever read. And an actual story to boot. Please write more quickly." As soon as I read that I called my mother, all excited. Then I had to explain to her what Shades of Gray was. That was fun. But I was still really excited about it. It was my first stranger review and it was a good one. I was so thrilled that I immediately did what she asked and wrote more quickly.
However it was the second review that really got to me. My friend, Amber, called me up. She had been helping me spread the word about my books. She's awesome like that. One of the women she had told about my books contacted her. She told Amber that she liked the book. A nice pat on the back for me, but nothing too terribly exciting, even if it came from an unbiased person. Amber hadn't told her that she knew the author. But about a week later, the woman's husband called as well. He told her that he didn't know what his wife had been reading, but it had made a huge change for them. In fact, he told Amber, it had probably saved their marriage. I don't know what it was about the story that got to her. But something that I had written had drastically changed the sexual relationship she had with her husband, which was the root of their problem. I had tears in my eyes when I heard about it. And hearing that made me want to write more.
It was one thing to get a review written on a website. But to hear that my story may have saved a marriage... I was in awe. So to those people I did not know, and still don't know, I hope you are doing well. And I hope you have many happy sexy years together. This writer will keep doing what she has been doing, and hoping that more people embrace their own sexual selves. Just keep it safe, sane, and consensual.
July 30, 2014
Change of scene
I have spent the last few days updating book covers and adding in links to all my stories. I thought my old covers were okay, but they didn't seem to have the punch of some I saw online. Girding my loins I took a deep breath and opened GIMP to try my hand at something new.
I went from
to
Plans Revealed, the second book about Brandy, didn't sell well and that made me sad. I thought it was a sweet and sexy book that I wanted more people to enjoy. I'm hoping that it will catch more readers with the updated cover because it was a really fun story to write.
But even my top seller Safely Begun got a new look with
If you like the new covers, please let me know. I really enjoy getting feedback. If you want to see all of my new covers, check them out at Amazon or your favorite online retailer.
I went from
toPlans Revealed, the second book about Brandy, didn't sell well and that made me sad. I thought it was a sweet and sexy book that I wanted more people to enjoy. I'm hoping that it will catch more readers with the updated cover because it was a really fun story to write.
But even my top seller Safely Begun got a new look with
If you like the new covers, please let me know. I really enjoy getting feedback. If you want to see all of my new covers, check them out at Amazon or your favorite online retailer.July 24, 2014
A new chapter
For the past ten years I have been following my husband around the country, from base to base, living the military life. I knew what I was signing on for, but I never realized how hard and exciting it would be. The hardest part was not having a steady job. I've always been a hard worker and thought I could just transfer with my job to wherever we moved. But during that first move my company went out of business and I was left unemployed in a town that didn't trust hiring military spouses.
Instead of working a 9-5 job I found myself working small part time jobs, picking up whatever I could. We didn't really need the extra money, we got by on his wages. It was more that I needed something to do with my time. For a long time I was catering food to the men my husband worked with. I love cooking for people that appreciate good food. And a lot of our guys in the military miss home cooked meals. Some of them had never even had scratch made cookies before. I made sure everyone had at least one taste before my husband's orders were up.
When we moved to a smaller location catering was no longer an option. And once again, neither was finding good steady employment. So I turned my hand to gardening and learning some new types of cuisine. After unpacking our library for the sixth time I also started looking into ebooks. That led me into a whole new world. I had a lot of free time so I began converting our library. Then I began converting some of the stories I had written. Then I learned about www.smashwords.com.
After careful research, and reading Mark Coker's guides, I formatted and published my first book Keep Her Safe. It was a story I had written, for myself and a few friends, years before. My husband was once again deployed and I decided it was time to settle myself down and build a solid work from home experience. The last year has been a real eye opener for me. I've learned so many things and had so much fun. I plan to continue with this career path for as long as I can, and my husband fully supports my plans. Now I can work from wherever we live, or even from my smartphone. I've published several books now, including two sequels to my first book. I have had a lot of fun writing all of them, and hearing from the people that have read my books.
My husband will be returning soon and we are both looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. He also says he is greatly looking forward to helping me edit my books, and try out anything I want to write about. I hope everyone that follows me also enjoys my books, and sympathizes with my husband/test subject. After twelve months of separation he is in for a serious cardio workout.
You can find my books on Smashwords or Amazon.
You can also follow me at Twitter or Facebook.
Instead of working a 9-5 job I found myself working small part time jobs, picking up whatever I could. We didn't really need the extra money, we got by on his wages. It was more that I needed something to do with my time. For a long time I was catering food to the men my husband worked with. I love cooking for people that appreciate good food. And a lot of our guys in the military miss home cooked meals. Some of them had never even had scratch made cookies before. I made sure everyone had at least one taste before my husband's orders were up.
When we moved to a smaller location catering was no longer an option. And once again, neither was finding good steady employment. So I turned my hand to gardening and learning some new types of cuisine. After unpacking our library for the sixth time I also started looking into ebooks. That led me into a whole new world. I had a lot of free time so I began converting our library. Then I began converting some of the stories I had written. Then I learned about www.smashwords.com.
After careful research, and reading Mark Coker's guides, I formatted and published my first book Keep Her Safe. It was a story I had written, for myself and a few friends, years before. My husband was once again deployed and I decided it was time to settle myself down and build a solid work from home experience. The last year has been a real eye opener for me. I've learned so many things and had so much fun. I plan to continue with this career path for as long as I can, and my husband fully supports my plans. Now I can work from wherever we live, or even from my smartphone. I've published several books now, including two sequels to my first book. I have had a lot of fun writing all of them, and hearing from the people that have read my books.
My husband will be returning soon and we are both looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. He also says he is greatly looking forward to helping me edit my books, and try out anything I want to write about. I hope everyone that follows me also enjoys my books, and sympathizes with my husband/test subject. After twelve months of separation he is in for a serious cardio workout.
You can find my books on Smashwords or Amazon.
You can also follow me at Twitter or Facebook.
