M.J. Greenway's Blog, page 5

Life Lessons Learned From Felicity

Felicity originally aired in 1998, eighteen years ago. I watched it then and loved it. And recently I discovered all four seasons were on Hulu, so I started watching it again. It may surprise some to know it was created in part by J.J. Abrams, known for Lost, Star Wars, Star Trek and Alias. 

Felicity is a girl whose just beginning college in New York after following (stalking) a boy there. It's hard to blame her, Ben is nineties eye candy for sure. Those piercing hazel eyes, brilliant smile and floppy dishwater blond hair would drive anyone across country to be in his proximity. Not really, in real life, I'm proud to say I didn't follow any hot boy from high school to college. But then she befriends Noel, the geeky/hot RA on her floor. And he's no slouch with his soulful brown eyes, dimples and floppy brown hair. Each year follows Felicity as she cycles back and forth between these two guys and makes her way from freshman to senior. And then there's the time travel spell, what???

Life Lessons Learned from Watching Felicity:

1. If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. 
One thing this show does brilliantly well, is capture that gritty, real feel of living in NYC, unlike shows like "Friends." I say this based on my real life experience of living there for one summer when I was 20. It's all I could take. If the aroma of urine on the streets, crime and high rent can be tolerated, the culture and vibrancy of the city may be worth it. I did enjoy the Broadway shows. The point is, if one survives four years of college there, it's a real accomplishment and will make life in any other city seem a million times easier. IMHO. No offense to my New Yorker friends, my hat is off to you.

2. Hook up with the hot guy, marry the smart guy. 
This was my personal take-away. I will not comment on whether the main character learned this lesson or not. In the long term, I think it's important to have a partner who is smart and loyal and capable of making and managing money. When I first watched the show I was #TeamBen all the way. Now when I watch it, I'm totally #TeamNoel. And I hate to say that's based on age and experience.

3. C is for college, not for commitment. 
What other time in life will one be surrounded by so many easy dating opportunities? In an ideal world, one shouldn't have a boyfriend at all during this time. How about some safe fun with more than one boy? Because will likely have fun with another girl at some point. That said, there are some who meet the one they will marry in college, but in an ideal world, getting together with that guy would happen in the senior year, when sewing of oats has already occurred.

4. Enjoy being young and full of hope.
Did watching this show make me wanna go back in time? Not really. But I do miss that feeling of the whole world of possibility being open. For most in college, you don't know for sure what you'll do for a living, where you'll live or who you'll marry yet. And the elixr of anxiety and excitement is exhilarating and terrifying. I admit, viewing the show this time around, I yell at the TV as a mom who wants to save Felicity from the misery I can see coming, like that very bad haircut. But she's gotta learn on her own via "natural consequences" as all the parenting books say.

So as network shows go into hibernation for summer, if you are looking for a fun binge watching opportunity, I recommend Felicity. But I will warn you, two to three episodes in a sitting will guarantee angst filled dreams with these characters wandering around a gritty urban terrain, furrowing their eyebrows while holding cups of coffee.

Dating Maggie (the e-book) is FREE for 5 Days:)

MEMORIAL WEEK SALE:

If you haven't already read this romance about a struggling actress and a rancher who rocks her world, now is your chance. It may just help you fill those extra hours on the long weekend. If you've already read it, you could give it as a gift. Click this link to download from Amazon

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Giveaway ends July 04, 2016.

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4 Great Books on Writing

There are lots of choices when it comes to books on the "craft" of writing. Following are four of my favorites. I thought I would pass them along in case you are looking for a little inspiration.

1. On Writing by Stephen King
Let's just say it's everyone's favorite for a reason. I admit that this is the only book I've read by Stephen King, though having read it, it makes me want to read one of his novels. He interweaves his own story into tips on the craft of writing. He's often quoted for saying if you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write. And I have to agree with that.

2. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
The great thing about this book is that the writing is so good. It reads more like a beautiful work of fiction than a manual on writing. She shares some of the lessons learned from her own career as well as things she's shared with her class as a writing instructor. Her perspective grounds you in realism, especially the chapter on publishing.

3. Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maas
Written by an agent whose seen his share of manuscripts, Maas offers a lot of very specific advice on structure, plot and characterization that seem to be common in the novels that "break-out." Even if you aren't planning to write a break-out novel, the advice would be helpful to anyone trying to write a compelling book.

4. Manuscript Makeover by Elizabeth Lyon
There comes a time when the fun of a first draft is done. Then revisions must be faced. Sometimes as a writer, you know your manuscript needs a makeover but it's hard to know what or how to fix it. This book offers tremendously specific advice about how to polish your story to perfection before sending it out.

3 Places to Look for a Date

I'm married now, but when I was dating, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Let's just say new age workshops about "finding the one" are not attended by hot firefighters or billionaire CEO's or by any men for that matter.

These workshops were just filled with desperate ladies like myself that didn't yet understand that the time and money spent there would have served us better if we'd spent it at say, Home Depot. Which, as it turns out is number one on my list.

Now that I've had almost eight years of married life to study man-habits. I can so clearly see where I should have been spending my time if I wanted to meet someone like my husband. If you are single and on the hunt, I hope this will help you think outside the box.

If this list doesn't work, try this: imagine all the activities you like to do and don't do those for awhile, go places and do things out of your wheelhouse. If you love wandering around used bookstores, for example, imagine where a guy who hates to read might be, maybe a game store? Once you're married you can go back to spending your time doing stuff you actually enjoy, like your all-girl book/wine club.

So here's my list:

1. Home Depot  
Yes, you will have to glance at the ring fingers because a lot of married guys go to Home Depot too. But there must be single guys there as well and they teach classes on how to make stuff. You'll walk away with more than you'll get at one of those new age dating seminars. Disclaimer: If you see my husband there, stay away, the 6 ft. 4 engineer with the bag of fertilizer is all mine!

2.  Comic Con
Sure, I'd have no interest in going there but I love smart, geeky guys so it probably would've been wise for me to show up there in a Wonder Woman costume at some point.

3. Paintball or Laser Tag Place
Admittedly, this one might be best for the college-aged girls and still may seem juvenile, but there will be dudes there especially during an evening on a weekend. And if there is no one you like at least you'll be able to get out your aggression by shooting guys with balls of paint. That's not a waste of a Saturday.

Feel free to leave your favorite meeting spots in the comments section.

A Parable for Mother's Day

Now that I've become a mother, I appreciate my own mother even more. She was one of those June Cleaver's happily dedicated to motherhood and wife-dom. Some might think this type of person doesn't exist outside of fiction, but she does. And she came to all my choir concerts, boring plays, pasta nights, fun runs and talent shows.

So when my first grader came home inquiring about auditioning for an upcoming talent show, my gut knotted. The era of watching performances has come for me now. My kiddo wanted to sing a pop song that had some questionable lyrics.

And then I discovered that he'd already missed the deadline to try out. And I'm ashamed to admit I breathed a sigh of relief. But really my dander was up that he might be too much like me. When I see the engineer in him, like my husband, I'm thrilled. Discovering he might have a creative bent like me, plunged me into protective mom mode.

Pursuing a creative life can be a hard road filled with rejection and poverty and so I secretly hoped he wouldn't be like me. But he loved the first play he saw at school with his class. He volunteered to do an on-camera interview at his school. And I couldn't help thinking this is how my mom probably saw me. When I look back on what I enjoyed as a kid, not much has changed. And when I think of all the performances she had to sit through I feel guilty now. But she never seemed to mind.

Now my husband says not to worry, lots of people get practical jobs and pursue their creative stuff on the side. "I know, I was one of those," I said to myself. I guess the protective part of me wants to shield him from rejection and heartbreak. But I won't, I can't. He'll have to fail, make mistakes, get teased and get up, dust himself off and keep going.

And who knows, he could have some successes mixed in there too. I'm trying to teach him about the 10,000 hours rule that I learned after reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. Gladwell believes that after amassing 10,000 hours practicing something, mastery can be achieved. True or not, I like the idea. So by that calculation, I've accumulated about 25,000 hours of mothering practice so far. I don't feel like I've mastered it, but it does get easier every year.

All this to say, Happy Mother's Day to all the smothers and other mothers out there. We're in this to (worry) together!

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8 Great TV Shows that Inspire Me to Write

The Mindy Project
There's romance and humor. But I'm sad about how things went down with Danny. I hope Mindy can find a great new guy. I love Mindy Kaling and admire the fact that she writes and acts in the show.

The Family
It's so dark and disturbing but the way they build suspense keeps me on the edge of my seat. I want to stop watching because the subject matter is so dark, but I can't.

The Blacklist
The suspense, the plot-twists and James Spader keep me watching. Oh, and the guy who plays Tom, he's not bad to look at and he's a bad guy that's easy to love.

The Flash
This show has the appeal of a superhero story but it also has heart and not too much violence. And it's  a show my husband will watch with me, so that's a plus.

The Goldbergs
I was a kid in the eighties and I love how this show gets everything from the time period right, the costumes and the toys like Cabbage Patch dolls make it a nostalgic joy to watch. It's funny and touching and the acting is fantastic.

Modern Family
It's just my kind of funny. And the family drama and humor that abounds makes it a fun to watch. I hope it stays on the air forever! Cam and Mitch are my favorite and their whip smart little girl always has a dead-pan zinger that makes me smile.

The Middle
My husband says I remind him of the mom on that show and my mom says I remind her of Sue, the relentlessly optimistic daughter. Do I find both comparisons mildly insulting? Maybe. But there is so much to laugh about in the life of this family. The themes are pretty universal and the characters all come to life with their specificity. Brick and his head down whispering always get me.

Younger
A forty year old divorced mom passes herself off as 26 in order to get a job in publishing. It's a great premise and fills that Sex in the City void that I've felt for so long. It's chick lit come to life but with an older heroine. I hope it goes for a few more seasons, at least.

Enter to Win FREE Paperback of Sarah Starting Over on Goodreads

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Giveaway ends May 17, 2016.

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5 Surefire Ways to Avoid Writing

It's been a busy year. I wrote three books, one of which was co-authored by my writing partner Amber Roshay. But I'll be honest, I enjoy a little break time in between big writing projects. So I thought I'd share ideas for things you can do when you are blocked or needing a break and you want to avoid writing all together for a little while.

1. Take a Walk
It's just become evident that it's spring around here in the Portland 'burbs. The sun is out occasionally and the tulips are in bloom. I'm lucky because I have to walk to the bus stop to drop off and pick up my kiddo five days a week. So I'll just head out a little earlier and look around the neighborhood. Recently I spotted two chickens squaking around in someone's front yard. Hey, maybe that will spark a story idea, ya never know.

2. Bake
The other day I was mulling over the storylines in my books wondering if there was a commonality. And then I realized they all have some areas where food is the focus. The hero in Dating Maggie loves apple pie. And my heroine in Sarah Starting Over works at a donut shop. I started that story in the winter when all I could think about were these pumpkin cake donuts that you can buy inside our public library. I'm not even sure I've ever gone there just for the books, or if "reading" is just my thinly veiled excuse to eat something cakey and pumpkin spicy. In The Proposition, the hero makes a signature marinara sauce. Is there anything sexier than a man who can cook? Is there?

3. Play a Game 
Sadly, for my kiddo, and my sister-in-law, I'm not a big fan of games. But I will play Jenga, checkers and love a good game of Scrabble. This weekend I played Jenga with my son and though the tower didn't stand for long, that's one thing I like in a game, one that's not long. Don't even get me started on Monopoly.

4. Call a Friend
Having a family can sometimes get in the way of connecting with friends, but I think it's so important. Even though I'm a bit of an introvert, I need my girlfriends. And in the age of texting, it's really nice to just talk on the phone sometimes.

5. Volunteer
Recently I went on a field trip with my six year old's first grade class. They were seeing a play downtown based on the Bad Kitty Books. My group of five kids kept me on my toes and I felt a great sense of accomplishment when we all made it back to the school in one piece.

Now that I've done these things, it's time to get back to work, er..writing. What do you do when you need a break?