Helen H. Moore's Blog, page 964

October 31, 2015

This is why Jonathan Franzen infuriates: Breaking down the suspicious intellectual loner, the mainstream writer, the despised cultural magnet

Who is Jonathan Franzen and what is the comedy of rage? The first question is easy. Franzen is perhaps the best-known American novelist of his generation, all but uniquely capable of reaching both highbrow sophisticates and less demanding mainstream readers. A visual answer to the first question is even easier. Seen by untold numbers, the image of Franzen that filled the cover of the August 23, 2010 edition of Time Magazine (“Great American Novelist” plastered on his chest) is mesmerizing. Tousle-headed, bespectacled, looking away from the camera (guarding his privacy), the fifty-year-old Franzen wears a gray shirt and three-day beard. His face and body look outdoorsy, rough-hewn, vaguely all-American. He has the look of a serious (even severe) man, and this cover announces his status as national celebrity—virtually a fetishized idol.

For more than a decade (ever since the publication of his National Book Award-winning The Corrections), Franzen has been a prominent player on the US cultural scene. His notorious flap with Oprah (2001), his frequent New Yorker pieces, and his three books of personal essays—"How to Be Alone" (2002), "The Discomfort Zone" (2006), "Farther Away" (2012)—have guaranteed that he remains emphatically visible. His second blockbuster novel, "Freedom" (2010), gained for him a readership even larger than the huge one for "The Corrections." The two novels, taken together, took on the status of a phenomenon to be reckoned with—one that Time duly acknowledged by putting him on its cover as “Great American Novelist.” Since then, Franzen’s fame has remained at a high, at times almost unbearable, pitch. A number of his peers—notably women novelists—have complained in public that the lion’s share of attention devoted to him distorts the literary picture. It conceals from public view others’ no less remarkable work. Franzen agrees. The avalanche of attention is beyond his control, and he might have been as surprised as he was gratified. How did an insecure, introspective child and morbidly suspicious young intellectual—a figure adamantly distrustful of popular culture and its blandishments—become a twenty-first-century mainstream cultural magnet? More to the point, how do the suspicious intellectual loner and the mainstream writer idolized by millions (and despised by sizable numbers) come together as one person?

The answer to the second question posed earlier—what is the comedy of rage?—emerges as a response to the first question: who is Jonathan Franzen and what gives him his extraordinary hold on contemporary readers across the globe? To work out this answer properly is the task of my book. We can begin by noting that, deeply embedded in Franzen’s sense of himself (inculcated there during his childhood, his adolescence, and his elite college experience), there lodges a skittish and corrosive skeptic. This is a “liberated” mind that looks upon much of the human drama around him—both zoom-lens specific and wide-angle general—with scorn, even rage. Why, such a mind often wonders, are people so foolishly caught up in routines that a modicum of self-awareness might save them from? Why do they seem to be sleepwalking through their lives? Before dismissing as mere misanthropy Franzen’s urge to critique and decry, we might note that it gives his work its negative energy, its edgy charge and verve. It also has ensured (less pleasantly) that Franzen’s relation to himself and to the world at large is riddled with distrust. This is a man who can take little for granted—certainly not himself—and who has had (slowly and painfully) to learn the cost of his own estrangement.

During the mid-1990s—through a process that is ultimately mysterious, though I shall do my best to unpack it—he manages to analyze the distress caused by his relentless critical energies. He becomes capable of granting that the elements of his world (including himself in it) are all right. Troubled and troublemaking, but all right: deserving to exist, even to be loved. Franzen comes to recognize that, however defective, he (like other men and women) has not only been given love by others but is capable of giving it as well. “What I came to consider [as] the money in the bank,” he told me in an October 2013 interview, “was that people loved me, and that came to seem like the key to everything. Not merely creating characters who could function as psychological objects, but making sure that love was implicit in the relationship between the author and the character.” The oppositional encounter of rage and love produces—as Franzen’s novelistic signature—the inimitable comedy of his work. Franzen’s comedy unfolds (in the writer, on the page) when the corrosive insights of rage and alienation, accommodated and made bearable by the generosity of love, grasp the human drama (his own, that of others) in its comic pathos.

His novelistic signature, yes, but an inherently unstable one. Each of the two stances toward the world that enable Franzen’s comedy—rage and love—threatens to take over the writing enterprise, to register an indiscriminate No (rage) or Yes (love). Indeed, love is a latecomer to Franzen’s sense of himself and understanding of his work. No reader of Franzen’s first two novels would identify love for his cast of characters as a driving energy. Corrosive rage (as I shall show later) holds sway. Moreover, his stance of radical critique—an inexhaustible dislike of what he finds all around him—does not simply mellow out in Franzen’s later years. "The Kraus Project" (Franzen’s last book prior to his just-appearing new novel, "Purity") is studded with Swiftian diatribes against the mindlessness of online American culture. (An instance: “The actual substance of our daily lives is total electronic distraction”: no need for nuance here.)

No less than rage, love is also susceptible to overreach, at risk of turning into an all-accepting sentimentality or problem-eluding refusal of distinctions. In his desire to reach a broader mainstream audience and have them love him, Franzen sometimes allows his later fiction—especially "Freedom"—to make reader-currying moves he would not have permitted earlier. Rage (the energy of attack and critique) and love (the energy of acceptance and embrace) drive Franzen’s work, giving it both power and instability. Let me put the point more forcefully. These impulses are as incompatible as they are constitutive: without the tension between them there would be no body of fiction to consider. Without his exceptional alertness to nastiness (what his newest novel treats as “impurities”) in all its forms, Franzen’s Yes would lose its bite and bracingness. It is a Yes that has come through countless wars of No.

"The Comedy of Rage" seeks to unpack Franzen’s developmental arc as a person and a writer. It moves from his ultrasensitive, no-one-understands-me St. Louis childhood through his spectacular ascent into today’s literary pantheon. This arc passes through Franzen’s heady years at Swarthmore College and his subsequent marriage with a gifted college classmate, Valerie Cornell. Both of them—would-be writers by the time they were twenty—committed themselves, all but religiously, to undergoing the lonely apprenticeship required to write the Great American Novel. Within a dozen years their joint project had run out of air, collapsing under the weight of its incessant and estranging idealism. Miserable, his marriage in ruins, Franzen managed to eke out two brilliantly rage-driven, critically acclaimed (though hardly best-selling) novels. By the mid-1990s, though, his most deeply held ideas about who he was—as husband, writer, and citizen—had become bankrupt. Angry and depressed by the consequences of his own life choices, he began to reassess himself: to see through the stance of superior alienation from the commonplaces of mainstream culture—a stance that he had long taken as a requirement of genius itself. In short, Franzen could no longer afford to remain the person he had worked hard to become.

Throughout the later 1990s, Franzen struggled to reconceive himself. More, he sought a writerly stance that might more generously accommodate both himself and his world. Arduously correcting himself, he achieved his goal with "The Corrections" (2001). A self-corrected man, yes, but certainly no poster child for the blandishments of mainstream culture. The literature of bathos, of easy pleasures and commercial, market-driven solutions to human dilemmas, did not serve as a mirror in which he could recognize his own labor and ambition. No surprise, then, that a little later in 2001 came the misunderstanding with Oprah. Having invited him onto her TV show because of "The Corrections" (it was too winning to ignore), she swiftly disinvited him after hearing of his supposed concern about her middlebrow aura. She was not misled. He had expressed to various people his anxiety about being “Oprah-ed” (my word, not his). He was uneasy about being linked indiscriminately to other novelists she had anointed but whose work he did not respect, and she got wind of his discontent.

Notorious now as The Man Who Dissed Oprah, Franzen became public property. Without having to pass through the experience of reading his books, great numbers of Americans felt entitled to a view of him (usually astringent: he was not forgiven for crossing Oprah). From being relatively unknown, he became, almost overnight, glaringly well known: well known as a young man so self-engorged that he could not find it in himself to accept without quibbling a TV invitation from Oprah Winfrey. Franzen thus became a writer whom countless readers pegged as someone they would need to come to terms with, would have to figure out. Many assumed they would not like what they came up with, but his treatment of Oprah made him distinctive, even unique. He would spend the next decade trying to explain/explain away this flap.

Indeed, no one has abetted the journey of figuring Franzen out more than Franzen himself. Ever since 2002, he has sought to reveal his thoughts and feelings—the becoming of Jonathan Franzen—in a stream of personal essays and interviews. These revelations have been at once intimate and artful. The person on the autobiographical page does not coincide with the one in the living body. The one on the page is a persona—Franzen exposed, but also Franzen masked by Franzen’s words—as he explained to me: “And paradoxically, I really was trying to restore a sphere of privacy by writing autobiographically. Like I’m going to put the official narrative, I’m going to order it, I’m going to put it out there, and it will become a bulwark within which I can continue to have a private life."

This thoughtful remark answers one question even as it raises another. The easiest way to “continue to have a private life,” one would think, is to avoid “putting it out there” for others to read about. It follows that working out the ratio between the intimately revealing and the artfully disguising in Franzen’s nonfictional writings has been a challenge throughout the writing of this book. As mentioned earlier, I have personally known him for over two decades, ever since his returning to Swarthmore College to teach creative writing in the early 1990s. From that point on, we have communicated intermittently about his novels, and I interviewed him in late 2013. Yet the portrait of the writer and his novels that I put forth here builds largely on materials he has provided in published essays. More importantly, I make no claim that he would endorse my way of construing either his life or his art. The secrets on offer here have for the most part remained hidden in plain (and public) view.

Once more, then, who is Jonathan Franzen? He is the fifty-year-old Olympian writer on the cover of Time Magazine, sufficient to himself, needing no one. He is, no less, the “fundamentally ridiculous person” (his phrase) of his childhood: insecure, misunderstood. This little boy (and the young adult he becomes at Swarthmore) failed to “score” (his term, again)—as dramatically as the figure on the cover of Time has won all the prizes. In between is the angry young man dedicated to an emotional and artistic pathway whose elitist isolation threatens to shut it down.

He pursues these ideals as long as he can, straining and eventually ruining his marriage. He publishes two alienated, tricky novels—both premised on the idea that America is hopelessly blind to the damage wrought by its capitalist greed, its soulless culture. He brims over with frustration and discontent: why is everyone else so stupid? Then, his back to the wall, he begins to grasp the sources of his own unhappiness—that stupidity starts with himself, with his relation to the world. A new Franzen begins to surface in the 1990s, writing two magnificent novels in the first decade of the new century, revisiting—by way of intimate essays—his own life story, and (during much of 2011) revising "The Corrections" for an intended TV miniseries.

Franzen the loner has told us, in intricate detail, how he had to disable his computer so that it would stop receiving all those unwanted calls from the ambient culture: would stop so that, finally, he could remount his own imagination and find, latent there and waiting for him (once the noise died down), the two big novels that have made him famous. “I worry that the ease and incessancy of communication with electronic media short-circuits the process whereby you go into deep isolation with yourself,” he told Manjula Martin in “The Scratch Interview” (October 13, 2013); “you withdraw from the world so as to be able to hear the world better and know yourself better, and you produce something unique.” Franzen the loner is, as well, Franzen the birder (he travels the globe as a bird-watcher). Whatever else this passion signifies, it testifies to a desire to escape human company, to leave the teeming urban scene, to exit for a while from the routines of social performance. Birding may best embody his idea of “how to be alone,” as the following panegyric to unbridled selfhood suggests:

To be hungry all the time, to be mad for sex, to not believe in global warming, to be shortsighted, to live without thought of your grandchildren, to spend half your life on personal grooming, to be perpetually on guard, to be compulsive, to be habit-bound, to be avid, to be unimpressed with humanity, to prefer your own kind: these were all ways of being like a bird.

Would you please let me be my warts-and-all self, in all my creaturely (in)difference, so such a passage pleads.

Yet, Franzen the anonymous global wanderer is also a highly visible New Yorker. He writes regularly for the city’s most prestigious magazine; he gives interview after interview; he wants to be known. We possess his vignette of the disabled computer only because Franzen has chosen to pass it on to us. His desire to reach out to his limitless readership equals—if not trumps—his concern to remain invisible. That desire carries, as well, an inchoate longing to be loved for who he really is, and thus he tirelessly corrects mistaken notions of his identity. His Freedom website has an enormous number of hits. His Facebook page has untold numbers of followers and a dashing photo of himself. He has been invited to the White House and met President Obama! So willing has he been to share his intimate thoughts and feelings with his fans in mainstream culture that he has proclaimed (publicly enough for it to have been emblazoned in bold letters on his website) that “Shame made it impossible for me to write for a decade.” Shame? Or is such a proclamation of shame something closer to shameless? Or do we need another term altogether in order to characterize a reaching out to one’s public that is, if not shameless, then, say, Dickensian in its conviction that he (the writer) matters to them (his readers) so much that he must cue them in to his actual thoughts and feelings? Something like this conviction surfaced in my interview with Franzen when I asked him why he would ask his readership to take on something as esoteric and daunting as his translation of Karl Kraus’s venomous essays written a century ago. He replied: “The impulse behind it ["The Kraus Project"] is, if I have that, how can I not show it to the reader? That’s the compact with the reader. I’m not going to hide from you.” That last you is the reader: how can I not show you what “I have” in me, Franzen was claiming. In his mind, he owes it and his reader wants it.

Franzen has been immersed to the hilt in the mainstream culture he so long despised. That he was not planning to exit soon from this immersion is revealed by his having agreed to screen-write an HBO production of "The Corrections." Yet there are numerous indications that the coterie writer in him has not disappeared. He alludes, often and revealingly, to his friendship with the mandarin writer David Foster Wallace, whose suicide he has lamented in print—lamented so insistently as perhaps to imply to his host of readers: yes, I am the mainstream writer you trust, but I am also—and just as importantly—the soul-mate of David Foster Wallace, the nonpareil genius of our time. Jonathan Franzen continues to bristle with contradictory leanings, his elitist allegiances still messing with his populist desires.

Such contradictions are only underscored by HBO’s decision, in May 2012, to cancel their commitment to "The Corrections," despite a fortune already spent and a crew to die for. Even for someone with Franzen’s remarkable appeal, attempting to fuse the complexity of a postmodern novel with the mainstream transparency of a TV series carried a risk too sizable for the money-men. Freed from the TV contract, Franzen turned immediately (with huge relief) to a book-length translation of the “untranslatable” (his term) essays of the early twentieth-century Austrian intellectual Karl Kraus. Could any project—proceeding by way of gargantuan footnotes and centering on Kraus-and-Franzen’s scathing indictments of modern technology—differ more provocatively from writing a mainstream TV adaptation of "The Corrections"?

Moving back and forth among Franzen’s essays and novels, I propose to chart a single writer’s odyssey. In so doing, I broach a larger inquiry into the dilemma of the contemporary American novelist’s stance toward his audience. Does one write (affectionately, transparently, close-up) for the masses who populate mainstream culture or (critically, estrangingly, at a distance) for the elite who make up mandarin high culture? What does it mean to want to write for both audiences at the same time? Franzen’s life and career, this book argues, oscillate abidingly—and often incoherently—between the polar orientations of rage-driven highbrow critique and love-energized mainstream appeal. He continues to fascinate his immense readership—and to infuriate his considerable body of critics (Franzen-haters, it is fair to call them)—not least because he is engaged in a high-wire act of reconciling what perhaps cannot be reconciled. We might figure these orientations as a circle that, for the past two decades, he has been working hard to square.

Excerpted from "Jonathan Franzen: The Comedy of Rage" by Philip Weinstein. Published by Bloomsbury Academic. Copyright © 2015 by Jonathan Franzen. Reprinted with permission of the publisher. All rights reserved. 

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Published on October 31, 2015 12:30

Casualties of the vanishing West: How monied interests are forcefully evicting wild horses

Chief, a Kiger mustang born in the remote wilderness of Utah, lives with 400 other rescued wild horses and burros in a 1,500 acre sanctuary, hundreds of miles from his original home. Years ago the stallion was captured in a round up led by the Bureau of Land Management. After a long helicopter chase, he ended up in a government-run holding facility for years before being adopted by Return to Freedom Wild Horse Sanctuary in Lompoc, CA. Not all horses rounded up by the BLM are as lucky. The majority of captured equines remain stuck for years, if not for the rest of their lives, in cramped holding facilities that are quickly running out of space. As of July 2015 the facilities held 47,000 wild horses, and the BLM’s holding capacity is set at 50,929. Yet the agency is planning to remove another 2,739 wild horses and burros this year at a taxpayer cost of $78 million. An example of an emergency holding facility for excess mustangs is a cattle feedlot in Scott City, Kansas. In 2014, a BLM contractor leased the feedlot, owned by Beef Belt LLC, to hold 1,900 mares. The horses were transported from pasture to corrals designed for fattening up cattle. Within the first few weeks of their arrival, at least 75 mares died. Mortality reports acquired from the BLM through the Freedom of Information Act show that as of June 2015, 143 more horses had died. The facility is closed to the public. BLM’s management of American wild horses and burros has several tales of mismanagement and animal neglect like the one above. Since 1971, the BLM has removed more than 270,000 wild horses and burros from public lands, in what it says is an effort to avoid overpopulation and “to protect animal and land health.” Ideally the rounded up animals should be adopted or shipped to long-term pastures, but in the past several years the number of horses being adopted have fallen dramatically. As a result, every year, more and more of these animals end up languishing in what are supposed to be temporary holding facilities. Over the past four decades the BLM has eradicated or moved to holding facilities more than 70 percent of the country’s wild horse population. According to BLM’s current estimates, there are only about 48,000 horses remaining in the wild.

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The Bureau of Land Management is mandated by law to protect the future of the wild horses and burros of America. In 1971, in response to growing public protest over the indiscriminate capture and slaughter of wild horses by ranchers and hunters, President Richard Nixon signed the Wild and Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act, making harassing or killing feral horses or burros on federal land a criminal offense. The law recognized the animals as "living symbols of the historic and pioneer spirit of the West.” In 2004 the Act was stripped of its central purpose when Republican Senator Conrad Burns of Montana prepared what is now widely known as “the Burns Amendment.” Taking advantage of his position as chair of the Interior Appropriations Subcommittee, Burns slipped his bill in with complete secrecy, knowing that committee reports cannot be amended. The bill amending the 1971 Act was never introduced to Congress; it was never discussed or voted on. The amendment allows the BLM to sell older and unadoptable animals at livestock auctions. These auctions often draw ‘kill buyers’ who seek horses for slaughterhouses, as the LA Times reports. The Burns Amendment overruled critical sections of the Wild and Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act, and overturned 33 years of national policy. "The law was one of the few ever passed unanimously by both the House of Representatives and the Senate. To ignore the democratic will of the general public of the US in order to favor certain minority vested interests, mainly rich individuals and corporations, is a true perversion of democracy and a shameful betrayal," says wildlife ecologist and author Craig Downer. Before becoming an advocate for the wild horse and burro cause, Downer worked for the BLM. He conducted stream site inventory and assessment work in their Nevada chapter. During his time at the agency, he learned that wild horses and burros weren’t the animals that were causing stream and lakeside habitat degradation in regions where they roamed free. ”Overwhelmingly it was the livestock, chiefly cattle, that degrade the vital riparian habitats. They are post-gastric digesters while the other large North American grazers are almost exclusively ruminant digesters. Horses and burros also disperse their foraging over vaster areas and into more rugged terrain than cattle," he says. Here’s how Downer explains it further. (Excerpted from his presentation at the Wild Horse Summit in 2008):
"Being much less mobile than wild horses and burros, livestock concentrate their grazing pressures in certain areas, especially in and along species-rich stream, marsh, or lake shore habitats known as riparian (which I have experience monitoring with the BLM). Cattle and sheep have destroyed these riparian habitats on a large scale by overgrazing throughout the West — as throughout the world, especially in arid and semi-arid areas, and thus are responsible for the extinction or near extinction of literally thousands of species of plants and animals. The wild horses, on the other hand, do not linger at watering sites or along riparian areas but disperse their grazing pressure much more broadly in the arid to semi-arid West; and as a consequence they greatly reduce dry parched vegetation. Their post-gastric digestive system is perfectly suited to taking advantage of this drier, usually coarser vegetation, as such does not entail as much metabolic energy involved with the more thorough breakdown of this food when compared with ruminant grazers: cattle, sheep, deer, elk, etc. Their digestion also favors the dispersal of the seeds of many native plant species that are not as degraded in passing through their digestive tracts. These involve species that have in many cases co-evolved for millions of years with horses and even burro-like Asses, developing many mutually beneficial symbioses in the process."
According to the BLM, there is an overpopulation of horses on public lands.  The agency states that because of federal protection and a lack of natural predators, wild horse and burro herds can double in size about every four years, which leads to habitat degradation and unhealthy herds. Yet the agency allows millions of cows to graze on the same lands where wild horses were previously removed. Cows originate from Europe and thus are adapted to riparian meadow areas. Their grazing can be devastating for dry Western ecosystems, especially in many areas wherethey outnumber wild horses 50 to 1.  According to Downer, well-managed wild horse populations can contribute positively to ecosystems that they have adapted to due to their evolutionary past. "Restoring the missing ‘equid element’ with its post-gastric digestive system works wonders for the plains and prairies as well as the drier regions further west," he explains. But it is not only cattle that are granted right-of-way on public lands. In 2010, a controversial round up held in the Calico Mountain Complex of Nevada removed 2,500 horses from their habitat. The round up caused 160 horse deaths, including those of two foals who were chased on icy terrain until their hooves had sloughed off. The eradication of a healthy horse population from such a remote location raised questions. There were allegations that the removal was initiated to make way for a multi-billion dollar corporate project, the Ruby Pipeline, a natural gas pipeline that traverses through northern Nevada on its way from Wyoming to Oregon. The BLM denied any connection, but Pipeline construction began four months after the round up, and the natural gas line now runs through the mountain complex. BLM spokesperson Greg Fuhs says the agency does not give away rights-of-way to companies. “The BLM authorizes specific pieces of public land for certain projects and charges rent for such use,” he says. “The BLM collects forage fees for livestock grazing, conducts oil and gas lease sales, and requires payment of an annual maintenance fee (unless labor is performed or improvements are made) on mining claims.” The BLM’s management of wild horses has long been under scrutiny.  In 1994 Jim Baca, then director of the BLM, started an internal investigation into illegal practices within the agency. He found that BLM employees were selling wild horses to contractors for slaughter. The scheme involved the use of satellite ranches and so-called horse sanctuaries set up to hide the horses. The US Attorney’s Office in the Western District of Texas wanted to bring criminal indictments against BLM officials, but the case was closed in the summer of 1997 after federal officials in Washington DC, including officials not involved in the investigation, intervened. "I believe that my investigation was obstructed all along by persons within the BLM because they did not want to be embarrassed,'' the prosecutor, Mrs. Alia Ludlum, wrote in a memo that year, a copy of which, along with thousands of other grand jury documents, was obtained by the Associated Press. “I think there is a terrible problem with the program and with government agents placing themselves above the law,” Ludlum wrote. According to Baca during the investigation, Bruce Babbitt, then Secretary of the Interior, told him to back off. Baca left office the same year. "The wild horse and burro program has always been answerable to only the livestock industry and their political power over Western Senators and Congressmen. All of the administrations bow to that power, ” Baca says. According to Baca, in failing to understand the importance of western public lands, administrations continue sacrificing them for special interests. "They don’t see any gain to their political careers by rocking the boat.” Baca believes the horse numbers should be controlled, but they should not be on a slow course to extinction. "Every horse not on the range means another cow and calf that will be. BLM has always been a step child to the whims of the oil, gas, coal, mining and livestock industries.” Baca believes the idea of special sanctuaries on the range is promising.  "The wild horses should be allowed to exist for future generations to appreciate. A wild horse crammed into a corral is nothing more than a life sentence to misery.” The BLM’s annual wild horse and burro round up is already underway this year (see reports here and here). Wild horse and burro advocates say if the animals are not rounded up, but instead have their numbers managed via fertility control methods, maintaining them would cost virtually nothing – providing a solution for the program’s inefficiency and high cost. About 60 to 70 percent of the BLM’s Wild Horse and Burro Program budget is spent on roundups and holding facilities, while only 6 percent is spent on fertility control and keeping horses on the range. (In 2014, holding horses in off-range facilities cost more than $43 million, which accounted for 63 percent of the Wild Horse and Burro Program’s annual budgetThe total lifetime cost for caring for a captured animal that’s not adopted is nearly $50,000.) Redirecting federal funds from costly and traumatic round-ups to in-the-wild fertility management could save taxpayers millions. That, however, would require the BLM to stand up to the industries it is supposed to regulate, Baca says. Historically, the BLM and the Department of Interior have had deep ties to the industries they administer. Former Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar, for instance, comes from one of the oldest cattle families of Colorado. The current director of BLM, Neil Kornze, has ties to the mining industry. Son of a Barrick Gold Corporation employee, Kornze worked as a natural resources staffer for Harry Reid, a politician supported in part by mining industries. An article in the  Las Vegas Sun also alleges Harry Reid gave his approval for the Burns Amendment before it passed. Recently the agency has been making efforts to chart a new course for managing wild horses and burros. In a July statement, the bureau said it would “initiate 21 research projects aimed at developing new tools for managing healthy horses and burros on healthy rangelands, including safe and effective ways to slow the population growth rate of the animals and reduce the need to remove animals from the public lands.” BLM spokesperson Greg Fuhs says the bureau is looking into fertility-control vaccines and spaying to help slow the wild horse population growth. “Research projects will begin with “pen trials” to evaluate methods, such as spaying, on a small number of animals in a controlled corral or pasture setting. If a pen trial yields promising results, then a “field trial” will further evaluate some methods in the natural setting of a Herd Area,” he says.

***

Neda DeMayo, the president of Return to Freedom Wild Horse Sanctuary, says the public is generally unaware of the wild horses and burros, and of how the public lands are managed. She believes education to be the key in the survival of the wild equines. Some still believe the wild horse to be an invasive species in North America, brought to the New World by Conquistadors from Spain. But a 1992 study conducted by Helsinki University Zoological Institute estimates E. Caballus, the modern horse, originated from the North American continent 1.7 million years ago. The finding, based on molecular and paleontological evidence, has been further supported by Michael Hfreiter, of the Department of Evolutionary Genetics at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig, Germany. Chief, the stallion captured years ago by the BLM who now lives in DeMayo’s sanctuary, is a Kiger mustang and as such a carrier of the ancient Iberian Sorraia horse’s bloodline. There is evidence that the BLM is managing the horses at such a low level their genetic viability might be compromised. According to The BLM’s lead equine geneticist, Dr. Gus Cothran’s DNA analysis, a healthy population size should consist of 150-200 animals to prevent inbreeding. Currently only 25 percent federally managed wild horses herds meet that demand. DeMayo is committed to preserving the wild horse with its diverse bloodlines for future generations. Working with the issue for almost 20 years, she has learned that the real fight is about economics. The problem, she says, is that the wild horse doesn’t make any money. "As long as the only value put on wildlife is money, nothing will change."Chief, a Kiger mustang born in the remote wilderness of Utah, lives with 400 other rescued wild horses and burros in a 1,500 acre sanctuary, hundreds of miles from his original home. Years ago the stallion was captured in a round up led by the Bureau of Land Management. After a long helicopter chase, he ended up in a government-run holding facility for years before being adopted by Return to Freedom Wild Horse Sanctuary in Lompoc, CA. Not all horses rounded up by the BLM are as lucky. The majority of captured equines remain stuck for years, if not for the rest of their lives, in cramped holding facilities that are quickly running out of space. As of July 2015 the facilities held 47,000 wild horses, and the BLM’s holding capacity is set at 50,929. Yet the agency is planning to remove another 2,739 wild horses and burros this year at a taxpayer cost of $78 million. An example of an emergency holding facility for excess mustangs is a cattle feedlot in Scott City, Kansas. In 2014, a BLM contractor leased the feedlot, owned by Beef Belt LLC, to hold 1,900 mares. The horses were transported from pasture to corrals designed for fattening up cattle. Within the first few weeks of their arrival, at least 75 mares died. Mortality reports acquired from the BLM through the Freedom of Information Act show that as of June 2015, 143 more horses had died. The facility is closed to the public. BLM’s management of American wild horses and burros has several tales of mismanagement and animal neglect like the one above. Since 1971, the BLM has removed more than 270,000 wild horses and burros from public lands, in what it says is an effort to avoid overpopulation and “to protect animal and land health.” Ideally the rounded up animals should be adopted or shipped to long-term pastures, but in the past several years the number of horses being adopted have fallen dramatically. As a result, every year, more and more of these animals end up languishing in what are supposed to be temporary holding facilities. Over the past four decades the BLM has eradicated or moved to holding facilities more than 70 percent of the country’s wild horse population. According to BLM’s current estimates, there are only about 48,000 horses remaining in the wild.

***

The Bureau of Land Management is mandated by law to protect the future of the wild horses and burros of America. In 1971, in response to growing public protest over the indiscriminate capture and slaughter of wild horses by ranchers and hunters, President Richard Nixon signed the Wild and Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act, making harassing or killing feral horses or burros on federal land a criminal offense. The law recognized the animals as "living symbols of the historic and pioneer spirit of the West.” In 2004 the Act was stripped of its central purpose when Republican Senator Conrad Burns of Montana prepared what is now widely known as “the Burns Amendment.” Taking advantage of his position as chair of the Interior Appropriations Subcommittee, Burns slipped his bill in with complete secrecy, knowing that committee reports cannot be amended. The bill amending the 1971 Act was never introduced to Congress; it was never discussed or voted on. The amendment allows the BLM to sell older and unadoptable animals at livestock auctions. These auctions often draw ‘kill buyers’ who seek horses for slaughterhouses, as the LA Times reports. The Burns Amendment overruled critical sections of the Wild and Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act, and overturned 33 years of national policy. "The law was one of the few ever passed unanimously by both the House of Representatives and the Senate. To ignore the democratic will of the general public of the US in order to favor certain minority vested interests, mainly rich individuals and corporations, is a true perversion of democracy and a shameful betrayal," says wildlife ecologist and author Craig Downer. Before becoming an advocate for the wild horse and burro cause, Downer worked for the BLM. He conducted stream site inventory and assessment work in their Nevada chapter. During his time at the agency, he learned that wild horses and burros weren’t the animals that were causing stream and lakeside habitat degradation in regions where they roamed free. ”Overwhelmingly it was the livestock, chiefly cattle, that degrade the vital riparian habitats. They are post-gastric digesters while the other large North American grazers are almost exclusively ruminant digesters. Horses and burros also disperse their foraging over vaster areas and into more rugged terrain than cattle," he says. Here’s how Downer explains it further. (Excerpted from his presentation at the Wild Horse Summit in 2008):
"Being much less mobile than wild horses and burros, livestock concentrate their grazing pressures in certain areas, especially in and along species-rich stream, marsh, or lake shore habitats known as riparian (which I have experience monitoring with the BLM). Cattle and sheep have destroyed these riparian habitats on a large scale by overgrazing throughout the West — as throughout the world, especially in arid and semi-arid areas, and thus are responsible for the extinction or near extinction of literally thousands of species of plants and animals. The wild horses, on the other hand, do not linger at watering sites or along riparian areas but disperse their grazing pressure much more broadly in the arid to semi-arid West; and as a consequence they greatly reduce dry parched vegetation. Their post-gastric digestive system is perfectly suited to taking advantage of this drier, usually coarser vegetation, as such does not entail as much metabolic energy involved with the more thorough breakdown of this food when compared with ruminant grazers: cattle, sheep, deer, elk, etc. Their digestion also favors the dispersal of the seeds of many native plant species that are not as degraded in passing through their digestive tracts. These involve species that have in many cases co-evolved for millions of years with horses and even burro-like Asses, developing many mutually beneficial symbioses in the process."
According to the BLM, there is an overpopulation of horses on public lands.  The agency states that because of federal protection and a lack of natural predators, wild horse and burro herds can double in size about every four years, which leads to habitat degradation and unhealthy herds. Yet the agency allows millions of cows to graze on the same lands where wild horses were previously removed. Cows originate from Europe and thus are adapted to riparian meadow areas. Their grazing can be devastating for dry Western ecosystems, especially in many areas wherethey outnumber wild horses 50 to 1.  According to Downer, well-managed wild horse populations can contribute positively to ecosystems that they have adapted to due to their evolutionary past. "Restoring the missing ‘equid element’ with its post-gastric digestive system works wonders for the plains and prairies as well as the drier regions further west," he explains. But it is not only cattle that are granted right-of-way on public lands. In 2010, a controversial round up held in the Calico Mountain Complex of Nevada removed 2,500 horses from their habitat. The round up caused 160 horse deaths, including those of two foals who were chased on icy terrain until their hooves had sloughed off. The eradication of a healthy horse population from such a remote location raised questions. There were allegations that the removal was initiated to make way for a multi-billion dollar corporate project, the Ruby Pipeline, a natural gas pipeline that traverses through northern Nevada on its way from Wyoming to Oregon. The BLM denied any connection, but Pipeline construction began four months after the round up, and the natural gas line now runs through the mountain complex. BLM spokesperson Greg Fuhs says the agency does not give away rights-of-way to companies. “The BLM authorizes specific pieces of public land for certain projects and charges rent for such use,” he says. “The BLM collects forage fees for livestock grazing, conducts oil and gas lease sales, and requires payment of an annual maintenance fee (unless labor is performed or improvements are made) on mining claims.” The BLM’s management of wild horses has long been under scrutiny.  In 1994 Jim Baca, then director of the BLM, started an internal investigation into illegal practices within the agency. He found that BLM employees were selling wild horses to contractors for slaughter. The scheme involved the use of satellite ranches and so-called horse sanctuaries set up to hide the horses. The US Attorney’s Office in the Western District of Texas wanted to bring criminal indictments against BLM officials, but the case was closed in the summer of 1997 after federal officials in Washington DC, including officials not involved in the investigation, intervened. "I believe that my investigation was obstructed all along by persons within the BLM because they did not want to be embarrassed,'' the prosecutor, Mrs. Alia Ludlum, wrote in a memo that year, a copy of which, along with thousands of other grand jury documents, was obtained by the Associated Press. “I think there is a terrible problem with the program and with government agents placing themselves above the law,” Ludlum wrote. According to Baca during the investigation, Bruce Babbitt, then Secretary of the Interior, told him to back off. Baca left office the same year. "The wild horse and burro program has always been answerable to only the livestock industry and their political power over Western Senators and Congressmen. All of the administrations bow to that power, ” Baca says. According to Baca, in failing to understand the importance of western public lands, administrations continue sacrificing them for special interests. "They don’t see any gain to their political careers by rocking the boat.” Baca believes the horse numbers should be controlled, but they should not be on a slow course to extinction. "Every horse not on the range means another cow and calf that will be. BLM has always been a step child to the whims of the oil, gas, coal, mining and livestock industries.” Baca believes the idea of special sanctuaries on the range is promising.  "The wild horses should be allowed to exist for future generations to appreciate. A wild horse crammed into a corral is nothing more than a life sentence to misery.” The BLM’s annual wild horse and burro round up is already underway this year (see reports here and here). Wild horse and burro advocates say if the animals are not rounded up, but instead have their numbers managed via fertility control methods, maintaining them would cost virtually nothing – providing a solution for the program’s inefficiency and high cost. About 60 to 70 percent of the BLM’s Wild Horse and Burro Program budget is spent on roundups and holding facilities, while only 6 percent is spent on fertility control and keeping horses on the range. (In 2014, holding horses in off-range facilities cost more than $43 million, which accounted for 63 percent of the Wild Horse and Burro Program’s annual budgetThe total lifetime cost for caring for a captured animal that’s not adopted is nearly $50,000.) Redirecting federal funds from costly and traumatic round-ups to in-the-wild fertility management could save taxpayers millions. That, however, would require the BLM to stand up to the industries it is supposed to regulate, Baca says. Historically, the BLM and the Department of Interior have had deep ties to the industries they administer. Former Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar, for instance, comes from one of the oldest cattle families of Colorado. The current director of BLM, Neil Kornze, has ties to the mining industry. Son of a Barrick Gold Corporation employee, Kornze worked as a natural resources staffer for Harry Reid, a politician supported in part by mining industries. An article in the  Las Vegas Sun also alleges Harry Reid gave his approval for the Burns Amendment before it passed. Recently the agency has been making efforts to chart a new course for managing wild horses and burros. In a July statement, the bureau said it would “initiate 21 research projects aimed at developing new tools for managing healthy horses and burros on healthy rangelands, including safe and effective ways to slow the population growth rate of the animals and reduce the need to remove animals from the public lands.” BLM spokesperson Greg Fuhs says the bureau is looking into fertility-control vaccines and spaying to help slow the wild horse population growth. “Research projects will begin with “pen trials” to evaluate methods, such as spaying, on a small number of animals in a controlled corral or pasture setting. If a pen trial yields promising results, then a “field trial” will further evaluate some methods in the natural setting of a Herd Area,” he says.

***

Neda DeMayo, the president of Return to Freedom Wild Horse Sanctuary, says the public is generally unaware of the wild horses and burros, and of how the public lands are managed. She believes education to be the key in the survival of the wild equines. Some still believe the wild horse to be an invasive species in North America, brought to the New World by Conquistadors from Spain. But a 1992 study conducted by Helsinki University Zoological Institute estimates E. Caballus, the modern horse, originated from the North American continent 1.7 million years ago. The finding, based on molecular and paleontological evidence, has been further supported by Michael Hfreiter, of the Department of Evolutionary Genetics at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig, Germany. Chief, the stallion captured years ago by the BLM who now lives in DeMayo’s sanctuary, is a Kiger mustang and as such a carrier of the ancient Iberian Sorraia horse’s bloodline. There is evidence that the BLM is managing the horses at such a low level their genetic viability might be compromised. According to The BLM’s lead equine geneticist, Dr. Gus Cothran’s DNA analysis, a healthy population size should consist of 150-200 animals to prevent inbreeding. Currently only 25 percent federally managed wild horses herds meet that demand. DeMayo is committed to preserving the wild horse with its diverse bloodlines for future generations. Working with the issue for almost 20 years, she has learned that the real fight is about economics. The problem, she says, is that the wild horse doesn’t make any money. "As long as the only value put on wildlife is money, nothing will change."

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Published on October 31, 2015 10:00

Jeb! Agonistes: Being the sad and gruesome history of a frontrunner who never was and the GOP’s zombie apocalypse

Watching Jeb Bush beached amid the flotsam and offal of this week’s gruesome Republican debate on CNBC, looking less like a deer in the headlights than like some rubbery deep-sea creature out of its element, severely decompressed and struggling to breathe, I almost had an emotion. I’m not claiming that the GOP frontrunner who never was merits our pity or compassion, and I don’t want to default to clichéd utterances about how Jeb! seems like a decent guy despite his disagreeable positions and sinister backers. He doesn’t, actually. Bush’s record as a capable administrator within the crocodile-infested swamp of Florida politics has been greatly exaggerated. If he were such a good guy, maybe he’d have walked away from his family dynasty and the political party it has perverted and done something useful with his life. Still, there was something interesting going on during and after Wednesday evening’s dreadful spectacle, something beyond the apparent end of the Bush family’s quest for a third president and the anointment of Marco Rubio, Jeb’s Sunshine State nemesis, as the new favorite of the Republican establishment. (That’s conventional wisdom, not a prediction of any sort. I have no clue what will actually happen in the Monster Raving Loony Party’s primaries, and neither does anyone else.) Let’s call it pathos. We don’t have to like Jeb Bush, or agree with anything he has ever said or anything he will ever do, to see him as a doomed literary character blinded by pride and arrogance, abruptly forced to recognize (too late!) that the fate written in the stars for him is not the one he expected. Bush has been compared to Charlie Brown, after the second or third time Lucy offered him that football, and to Richie Rich the Poor Little Rich Boy, and in both cases the resemblance is striking. On a more elevated level, since Republicans claim to know the Bible so well (except for that one guy who’s been too busy playing the role of Moneychanger in the Temple), Bush suggests the enfeebled and self-pitying Samson, at least as depicted in John Milton’s “Samson Agonistes,” after he’s had his hair cut off and his eyes gouged out. His God-given strength has turned out to be an illusion, and the supposedly indomitable warrior finds himself “Blind among enemies, O worse than chains.” Milton’s chorus intones, “Thou art become (O worst imprisonment!)/ The Dungeon of thy self,” subjected “to th’unjust tribunals, under change of times,/ And condemnation of the ungrateful multitude.” Changing times and ungrateful multitudes are precisely Jeb’s problem. As Frank Rich observed earlier this week in New York magazine, the would-be strongman of the GOP field apparently hadn’t noticed until now that this isn’t his father’s Republican Party anymore. Enormous piles of money and the promise of “electability” – just enough primary-season red meat for the right-wing zealots, just enough so-called moderation to compete with Hillary Clinton in the swing states – were supposed to quiet the grumbling and smooth the path to victory, as they had for Mitt Romney and John McCain, not to mention Jeb’s supposedly dumber and less adroit big brother. But Romney and McCain never came close to being elected president, despite all the vigorous election-season “unskewing” from Republican spin doctors, and the most active and devoted loyalists of the GOP base hated their guts all along. Jeb Bush entered the 2016 campaign as the living embodiment of a compromise that has made the angriest white men of the Angry White Men’s Party increasingly bilious: Swallow the smoothed-out candidate sold to them by the fat cats in New York and Washington as the only Republican who can win, and then lose anyway. If only, some of those guys are still telling themselves, we had gone with Rick Santorum last time. (Who is actually still running or has recently quit, but in either case no one noticed.) Or with Pat Buchanan, back in whatever-the-hell year that was! We might just about have saved America by now. I'm sure some of them are still chewing bitterly on the fact that Phil Gramm never got the nomination. Those are terrifying delusions, but the point is that exactly nobody believes that Jeb Bush will save America. Including him, I would venture. Donald Trump’s jibes about Bush’s “low-energy” campaign have hit home, in a way they haven’t quite with Ben Carson, because it’s so obvious the poor bastard’s heart isn’t in it. At least George W. Bush rebelled against his dad by getting high and going AWOL and playing the role of Texas hell-raiser; the best Jeb can manage is a sad-sack symbolic rebellion in which he blows a kazillion dollars challenging Rick Perry and Fred Thompson for the title of Worst Republican Candidate Ever. I would love to believe that there’s something not just pathetic but noble about Jeb’s self-immolation, and that he’s either deliberately or unconsciously choosing to stage the Bush family’s Götterdämmerung on a grand scale. But he’s probably just a clueless, entitled dweeb who got sandbagged by history. As Rich notes, much of that history is recent, and stems from the four presidential campaigns waged by his father and his brother, in which Lee Atwater and Karl Rove (respectively) sought out and galvanized the most retrograde, most atavistic and most paranoid tendencies in the Republican voter base. But the GOP overlords could only control or channel the zombie virus they had unleashed for so long, and at some point – we could argue about when exactly this happened – it invaded the Republican brain and took control of the organism. What Jeb has failed to grasp, in his Samson-like blindness and self-imprisonment, is that today’s Republican Party bears almost no relationship to the reasonably coherent center-right pro-business party of Nixon and Eisenhower (and, for crying out loud, of Jacob Javits and Edward Brooke). Sometimes it strikes the old poses and murmurs the old catchphrases, but whenever it opens its mouth to speak, all you can hear is a horrible insect buzz. Seen in those terms, Jeb’s apparent downfall -- along with those of John Boehner and Kevin McCarthy and the near-implosion of the Republican congressional caucus -- is a classic case of reaping as you have sown. But to understand the GOP’s internal contradictions, and the dangers posed by its rotting, shambling undead carcass, I suspect we need to reach even further back. All the crazy stuff found in the 21st-century Republican Party – the racism and the anti-immigrant fervor and the hyper-patriotism and the mistrust of big cities and big government and the perverse idolatry of capitalism among the white working class – goes way back in American history. None of that started with the Reagan Revolution or the emergence of the New Right in 1964 or Joe McCarthy. But the evil, self-destructive zombie magic genius of the new GOP lies in the fact that those things had never been combined before. As historian James McPherson describes the pre-Civil War political climate in his magisterial “Battle Cry of Freedom,” all those ingredients were present. The Whigs, who were soon to split over slavery and give birth to Abraham Lincoln’s Republican Party, were the party of bankers and capitalists – but also the party of a strong central government and massive public investments in railroads, canals, highways and public education, which they saw as the engine of social and economic progress. They opposed the spread of slavery and, at least in theory, supported civil and political rights for free African-Americans. On a less savory level, the Whigs also had pronounced overtones of white Protestant nativism and anti-Catholic bigotry, as McPherson puts it, and reflected elite concerns that the newcomers flooding into America’s cities would change the nation’s fundamental Anglo-Saxon character. On the other side stood the Democratic Party molded by Andrew Jackson, which embraced the new arrivals from Catholic Europe and championed the cause of industrial workers and small farmers against the “bloodsuckers” and “parasites” of monopoly capitalism and the New York banks. Democrats stood with the “outsiders” who had been left behind by the Industrial Revolution, and angrily denounced the worsening economic inequality that left the top 5 percent of the white male population holding 53 percent of the wealth in 1860, while the bottom half held just 1 percent. (I know, right? The whole situation is like a Philip K. Dick novel, uncannily familiar yet totally off.) In most material respects, those Democrats were much further left than today's attenuated, conflict-averse, Wall Street-friendly party. Yet as McPherson acridly observes, the Democrats’ “professed egalitarianism was for whites only”; they were viciously and overtly racist in the North, and vigorously supported slavery in the South. Ultimately the conflict between the Whig-Republican and Democratic worldviews of the mid-19th century led to the bloodiest and most dramatic war in American history. Whether that war actually resolved that conflict – and whether, in a certain sense, it ever ended – is open to debate. Chattel slavery is no more, but its legacy lingers on and the underlying cultural and political questions that divided the nation 150 years ago still plague us today. Our problem now is that the Republican Party has managed to position itself on both sides of that ideological divide, as impossible as that sounds, while the Democrats do not clearly represent either. Jeb Bush, as I said earlier, got sandbagged by history. He thought he was running for president in the boring, hawkish, sanctimonious and innately cautious Republican Party of his parents and grandparents, the one favored by generations of bank vice presidents and hardware-store proprietors and Presbyterian ministers. Or, more likely, he pretended to think that, and believed that his plutocrat backers could stuff the empty carapace of that party with enough money to make it look somewhat convincing. Jeb’s pathetic fallacy lies in refusing to see or admit or confront the true consequences of the change that has been a long time coming, a change that his caste and his family did much to create. Perhaps it has dawned on our rather dim pathetic hero, after his CNBC Waterloo, that the old Republican Party has been entirely devoured from within and replaced by a hybridized Dr. Mengele concoction that combines the worst populist currents of both the bygone Whigs and the Jacksonian Democrats. It loves big banks and big corporations, but yearns to demolish the central government and defund the public schools. It is nativist and racist, with equal fervor. It claims to represent those left behind by economic change and the downwardly mobile working class, but only if they happen to be English-speaking whites who agree that their problems stem not from unfettered corporate greed and oligarchic rule but from the deranged priorities of big government and the depraved conduct of other poor people. One might suggest – as even a number of non-insane Republicans have suggested -- that a party so enthusiastically committed to all the most hateful and destructive tendencies in American politics, even when they overtly contradict each other, is a nonsensical and incoherent enterprise that’s doomed to fail. To which I say: Sure, I guess. This is America, folks: Incoherent nonsense is the specialty of the house. All politics are driven more by passion than by reason, and ours more than most. Liberals have been confidently forecasting Republican doomsday for decades now, while the reanimated GOP, stuffed with Kochian cash, has built an impregnable congressional majority, paralyzed the legislative process and pushed the national policy agenda ever further to the right. To the zombie party, impending doom is a great victory, and the political corpse of the last Bush is its greatest trophy.

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Published on October 31, 2015 09:00

Wall Street is just this dumb: “There are traders who are smart, though not many”

Though the principles of the banking trade may appear somewhat abstruse, the practice is capable of being reduced to strict rules. To depart upon any occasion from these rules, in consequence of some flattering speculation of extraordinary gain, is almost always extremely dangerous, and frequently fatal to the banking company which attempts it. ADAM SMITH, The Wealth of Nations, 1776 The year is 1995, and I am sitting at a massive octagonal table on the top floor of the large modern building that dominates the town of Halifax, West Yorkshire. The location is the boardroom of the Halifax Building Society. The proposal before the board was that Group Treasury, which managed the cash held by the Society from day to day, should no longer simply serve the needs of the business—taking deposits from savers and making loans to home-buyers. Treasury should take active positions in money markets, and become another profit centre. The plan was to trade debt instruments: usually either government stock or the liabilities of other financial institutions. The Society would take full advantage of Lew Ranieri’s revolution in the promotion of markets in fixed-interest securities. Nick Carraway had given way to Sherman McCoy, and the Halifax was lusting after its share of the action. In the years that followed, many financial institutions continued (and still continue) to report profits from their trading activities. The mainspring of investment banking profits in recent years has been trading in fixed-income, currency and commodities (FICC). But the aggregate value of debt securities and currencies is fixed, and although commodity prices fluctuate, the long-run trend has been downward. Individual businesses and traders can make profits at the expense of each other, but this cannot be true for the activity taken as a whole. That raised a question in my mind. Where would Treasury profits come from? Who would lose the money we expected to make? The reaction to my question was not polite. I was sent for re-education so that the traders could resolve my confusion. I did not find this experience enlightening. We would make money, I was told, because our traders were smarter. But the people I met did not seem particularly smart. And not everyone could be smarter than everyone else. Still, some people plainly are smarter, and in a variety of ways. There are people who are good at understanding the fundamental value of securities: traders who are adept at predicting the changing moods and mindsets of other traders; individuals who are skilled at analysing the massive volumes of data generated by securities markets. These three broad styles of financial intermediation may be respectively described as investment, trading and analytics, and the groups of people who engage in them as investors, traders and quants. Stock markets provide the clearest, and perhaps most important, illustration of these approaches and the changes in the nature of intermediation in the era of financialisation. Warren Buffett is the most successful investor in history, having parlayed modest beginnings into a fortune that has made him one of the richest men in the world. Berkshire Hathaway is now one of the largest US companies. Berkshire Hathaway owns the world’s largest re-insurance company, GEICO, businesses as diverse as Netjets (which charters executive jets), Equitas (the insurance company created to handle the fall-out from the Lloyd’s débâcle) and See’s Candies. Berkshire also holds substantial stakes in major quoted companies, such as Coca-Cola and Procter & Gamble. Buffett is distinguished by the extreme simplicity of his methods, his disdain for the conventional wisdom of the finance industry and his refusal to invest in anything he finds difficult to understand. Buffett describes his investment philosophy in folksy, annual letters to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders, written in conjunction with Carol Loomis, a doyen of business journalism. He has said his favorite holding period is for ever. There are some comparable European businesses. The Swedish company Investor AB, the investment vehicle of the Wallenberg family, owns a similarly wide range of businesses, including substantial stakes in most global companies with Swedish roots (such as AstraZeneca, Ericsson and ABB) and, somewhat improbably, the NASDAQ exchange. Buffett’s success has not provoked significant imitation, however, in Britain or the USA. The most successful of those investors who stress fundamental value are those who, like Buffett, have a deep knowledge of and engagement with the companies they choose. Stock-pickers have more modest aspirations, but nevertheless base their decisions on thoughtful assessments of the prospects of companies. Bill Miller and Peter Lynch acquired stellar reputations with sustained out-performance of market indexes through successful stock-picking. But both have retired (and Buffett himself is now over eighty). The era of the superstar stock-picker seems to be at an end, although a few individuals—such as Dennis Lynch— maintain strong reputations. But there are few instances of sustained long-term success in stock-picking, and the number of fund managers is so large that a few will seem to demonstrate sustained success through chance alone. The reputations even of Peter Lynch and Bill Miller had faded somewhat by the time they left the investment scene. Analysis of the performance of mutual funds—which offer small investors diversified stock portfolios— show not only that they on average under-perform the market but that the degree of persistence of out-performance is very low. Almost alone among the legendary hedge-fund managers who emphasize economic fundamentals in their judgements, George Soros has been persistently successful. Julian Robertson and Victor Niederhoffer, who had made billions for their clients and themselves in the 1990s, were eventually burned by substantial losses. John Paulson, whose famous ‘big short’ earned billions by anticipating the collapse of sub-prime mortgages in the global financial crisis, subsequently made large losing wagers on the price of gold. Buffett has said that he buys stocks on the basis that he would be happy if the stock market shut down for ten years. Buffett himself can get away with it because his track record is so lengthy and impressive, but his successors cannot. While the fundamental value of a security determines the returns available from it in the long run, over shorter periods the returns depend on the assessments of other traders. As the value horizon—the time taken for an event to be accurately reflected in the value of a business—has lengthened, with business becoming more complex, the performance horizon—the period of time over which the performance of asset managers is measured—has shortened. Hence the rise of the trader chronicled earlier: the smartness that is rewarded is the smartness of the person who is adept at predicting the changing moods and mindsets of other traders. Simultaneously, the distinction between agent and trader, between broker and dealer, was eroded and effectively eliminated. The new ‘smartness’ was located, not in the service of investors through the medium of asset management firms such as Fidelity (which had employed Peter Lynch) or Legg Mason (Bill Miller), but for the benefit the investment banks which had come to dominate market-making. The shift fed into the behavior of companies. The market impact of imminent announcements mattered to traders; the competitive strengths and weaknesses of the business mattered little. Companies became locked into the activity of quarterly earnings guidance and earnings management, in which business was directed towards ‘meeting the numbers’: achieving results slightly ahead of market expectations. This cycle of guidance and management became more and more divorced from the underlying realities of the business. Investors look at economic fundamentals; traders look at each other; ‘quants’ look at the data. Dealing on the basis of historic price series was once described as technical analysis, or chartism (and there are chartists still). These savants identify visual patterns in charts of price data, often favoring them with arresting names such as ‘head and shoulders’ or ‘double bottoms’. This is pseudo-scientific bunk, the financial equivalent of astrology. But more sophisticated quantitative methods have since proved profitable for some since the 1970s’ creation of derivative markets and the related mathematics. Profitable opportunities may be provided by arbitrage: observing regularities in the price movement of related securities. Rather obviously, for example, the price of a derivative based on a stock will follow the price of the stock itself. Arbitrage involves taking matched positions— buying one security, selling another, when the price differential moves outside its normal range. Such arbitrage strategies were widely used by Long-Term Capital Management, the hedge fund that collapsed spectacularly in 1998. LTCM, best known for its association with the two Nobel Prize-winning economists Robert Merton and Myron Scholes, was founded by John Meriwether, who had headed the trading operations of Salomon Bros in the 1980s (those described by Michael Lewis in his book Liar’s Poker) which pioneered the explosive growth of FICC trading. The fund was largely staffed by his former colleagues, and insiders often described it as ‘Salomon North’. In the end, the LTCM trades were settled profitably by the investment banks which had taken them over: a telling illustration of Keynes’ (possibly apocryphal) dictum that ‘markets can remain irrational for longer than you can stay solvent’. More recently, the mathematical analysis of trading patterns has enabled some algorithmic traders to make returns from minute movements in the prices of securities. The most persistently successful of these quantitative-oriented funds are the Renaissance Technologies funds of Jim Simons, which have over more than two decades earned extraordinary returns for investors while charging equally extraordinary levels of fee. Simons was a distinguished mathematician before taking to finance. The early and successful practitioners of this quantitative style could use sophisticated methods to identify recurrent patterns in data, and arbitrage anomalies in the manner of LTCM. High-frequency trading uses computers to make, or offer to make, small trades at very frequent intervals. It may be illegal to trade on the basis of actual knowledge of the buying or selling intentions of other investors, but it is legal if you do not know but guess, or if your computer can deduce their intentions from their responses to the trading offers it makes. All the dealings of these funds are undertaken by computers, and the skills of the traders, which are considerable—the typical employee will have a maths or physics PhD—lie in programming the algorithms that the computers employ. Analysis of price data can, by itself, yield no information about the underlying properties of the securities—foreign currencies, commodities, companies—which are traded or on whose values the derivative products that are traded are based. Although speeding the flow of information from Chicago to New York by a millisecond may be privately profitable, so long as this access can be sold selectively to enable some traders to profit from their exclusive access, the world as a whole derives no benefit from this infinitesimal increase in the speed of dissemination of information. Since FICC trading, taken as a whole, cannot be a profitable activity, the profits of the traders who are recipients of the information are necessarily earned at the expense of other market users: in effect, these profits represent a tax that other users can best avoid by keeping trading to minimal levels. So what was to be the source of these Treasury profits? Competition ’We must have a bit of a fight, but I don’t care about going on long’, said Tweedledum. LEWIS CARROLL, Through the Looking Glass, 1871 There are traders who are smart, though not many: Buffett, Soros, and Simons are people of outstanding intelligence who have used that intelligence to earn billions in securities markets. Many others have simply been lucky. The extraordinary sums that the most successful investors have earned have encouraged many others of more modest talents to enter the field. This gives rise to a paradox. The profits of the smart are the losses of the less smart. But the existence of some smart people in the financial sector may increase profits for everyone—whether they are smart or not. Here’s why. When you buy some products, you want the best. As the surgeon picks up his scalpel, you may regret having searched for someone who will do the job more cheaply. If you plan to sell your house, it is worth paying extra for a negotiator who will get you a better price. If you risk a long term of imprisonment, you want the best attorney. You can’t be sure you will survive the operation, get the best price for your house or stay out of prison by paying more, but you suspect that you have a better chance. For many such products, haggling over price appears not only unseemly but unwise, implying that the purchaser does not really want a top-quality job. In activities like these, a business strategy that emphasizes cheapness is not likely to be successful. If some people have skills that are worth paying for, but it is difficult to determine who they are, everyone will be able to charge more. This mechanism is part of the explanation of high profits—and high remuneration—in the finance sector. Price competition is also often ineffectual when the item in question represents only a small part of the overall cost of the transaction. People will drive to another store to save a few pounds on their grocery bill, but not to save the same amount on their furniture. When you think it through, this makes little sense: but it is certainly the way many of us feel. Yet small percentages of very large amounts can be large amounts. You might not think a 1 per cent annual fund management charge is very high—and by current standards it is not—but 1 per cent of $100,000 is $1,000. On a $50 billion takeover bid, a fee equivalent to one quarter of 1 per cent seems insignificant but amounts to $125 million. Fees of this level would not be unusual: chief executives want the best, and generally what they are spending is other people’s money. Yet perhaps the most surprising source of high fees for corporate advisory work is in the new issue market, since the percentages are not small and the money often comes from the pockets of founders and early shareholders. In the USA, 7 per cent is a standard fee for an IPO (initial public offering), and rarely discounted (European fees are typically lower and more variable). But no evidence of a cartel has been produced, and probably none exists—there is simply a strong perception of collective interest in maintaining the status quo. Regulation is often the enemy of competition. Where regulation prescribes the conduct of business in considerable detail, it is inevitable that all firms will behave similarly: a particular conception of ‘best practice’ will be shared between regulators and regulatees. Incumbent firms with close links to agencies may use regulation to resist innovation and raise barriers to new entrants. Moreover, there are economies of scale in managing regulation. Established firms employ professional regulatory staff: a large bank may have tens of thousands (J.P.  Morgan reported hiring an additional 11,000 compliance and regulation staff in 2013 alone), and smaller firms can access this expertise only to a limited extent by hiring consultants. Similar economies of scale apply to lobbying regulators and legislators. But simple consumer reluctance to switch providers is a major obstacle to competition in retail financial services. It is a well-known joke in the industry that customers change their spouses more often than their banks. They all seem the same: why transfer your loyalty from Tweedledee to Tweedledum? This inertia on the part of retail buyers is common across all financial products. Credit cards have consistently been one of the most profitable retail banking products. Bank of America, ‘first mover’ in this industry, continues to hold a strong position, despite aggressive attempts by entrants to solicit new business. Many people just do not like buying financial services, and minimise the time and effort they devote to their purchase as a result. The days when retail customers of financial services were rewarded for their loyalty are long gone. The replacement of a relationship-based culture by a transaction-based one means that the best deal is almost always obtained by shopping around aggressively rather than by building trust. Customer perceptions have lagged behind this harsh reality. But the profits of customer inertia and price insensitivity were not enough—and certainly not enough to seem to justify high levels of remuneration for senior employees. The aim of most financial companies has been to increase profits by establishing ‘the Edge’ in wholesale financial markets. This was the aim of the discussion around that Halifax board table. Excerpted from "Other People's Money: The Real Business of Finance" by John Kay. Published by PublicAffairs. Copyright 2015 by John Kay. Reprinted with permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

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Published on October 31, 2015 08:59

October 30, 2015

Living the Halloween dream: The fragile beauty of trick-or-treating, the last of our great compulsory community acts

“Fresh Off The Boat”’s first Halloween episode, “Halloween On Dead Street,” focuses on the Huang family’s first Halloween in the suburbs, after years of living in Washington, D.C.’s Chinatown. Louis (Randall Park), the dad of the family, is even more excited for Halloween than the kids. The kids have drawn out a map so they can hit the best candy streets, but Louis has bought matching Mr. and Mrs. T costumes for he and his wife—because while the kids are out getting candy, he’ll be at home giving out candy, and for him, this is a dream. In D.C., he threw candy out of his third story window to passersby below, with mixed results. Now that they live in the suburbs and own a home, he can fulfill his particular version of the American dream. But the Homeowners’ Association wants to go lights-out for the holiday. Two blocks down, on Highland, the Disney Imagineers (remember, this is Orlando) go all-out for Halloween — as one neighbor puts it, “It’s their Super Bowl.” Louis is nearly stymied. In an impassioned speech to his neighbors, he argues:
Look, Halloween isn’t about a bunch of Imagineers spending a bunch of money. It’s about the one day a year where you can lose yourself and create a whole new identity. It’s a chance to forget that we’re a lower middle-class neighborhood living under the flight path of the Orlando airport and trick people—haha, trick. People.—into thinking we’re a scary upper middle-class neighborhood that people would want to visit and get candy from! Ladies, if we build it, they will come. If we build it, they will come.
(Yes, the last line is from “Field Of Dreams.” But because that movie is about “ghost baseball players,” Louis classifies it as a Halloween movie.) Louis’ ultimately successful speech is very funny, as is “Fresh Off The Boat,” an homage-filled rap-music driven sitcom set in the ’90. But Louis’ comical struggle to make Halloween mean something for his Taiwanese-American family strikes a timeless and universal chord. Trick-or-treating is part of Halloween, but it’s a much more complex and delicate tradition than just dressing up as Kanye and Kim and going to a costume party. It takes place in our neighborhoods, on our streets, literally in our backyards — making questions of who is “one of us” and who is an “outsider” particularly relevant, as neighborhoods either turn their lights off early to shoo away strangers or hire “safety officers” to keep the peace. Louis yearns for a regular Halloween that is the suburban birthright — even as his moving to the suburbs complicates that sense of community for the neighbors, those power-walking women who have never been able to befriend his wife Jessica (Constance Wu). What strikes me about the “Fresh Off The Boat” Halloween episode — which is echoed in Halloween episodes throughout sitcom history, but especially several that aired this past week — is how one of the most perplexing things about the modern era is not so much that Halloween upends the status quo of who’s in charge, but also that the holiday upends the status quo of our very American social fragmentation. As was observed most famously (and also controversially) in Robert D. Putnam’s “Bowling Alone,” civil society in America shows evidence of significant decline, especially when it comes to voter apathy. And while the rise of the Internet has probably moved a lot of community building to cyberspace, you can’t exactly trick-or-treat on the information superhighway. Perhaps it is no surprise at all that Putnam’s first article on bowling alone and the first season of “Fresh Off The Boat” both date back to 1995. Unlike her husband Louis, Jessica Huang (Constance Wu) hates Halloween. (If you’ve seen the show, you probably would not be surprised to hear that Jessica dislikes any day where rules become optional.) And in “Halloween On Dead Street,” this takes the form of guarding her investment property — just listed! — from a group of loitering, laconic teenagers with skateboards, who through total disdain manage to terrorize everyone around them. When Jessica runs afoul of them, they threaten to egg her house. Jessica can’t get into the fun spirit of the evening because she’s too busy grappling with the chaotic element that’s threatening her livelihood — she has hundreds of thousands of dollars sunk in that house, and repairing an egging would put her in debt. It’s a delicate note to strike: The day opens up this potentially incredibly enriching public space, but that space can be leveraged all too easily by bullies. Jessica’s fear is the least campy, least gory fear of all; she’s afraid of crushing debt that would ruin her children’s lives. It’s hardly the kind of controlled Halloween fear of spooky monsters in the dark that you might expect. But the implication of the show’s comedy around Hollywood is a little disturbing — that which makes the day so wonderful for Louis is exactly what makes it so terrible for Jessica. That same act of throwing open the doors and engaging with the community can let in both really wonderful and really terrible things.

* * *

There are a lot of Halloween episodes in the world, and a lot that aired just this past week; many, not just "Fresh Off The Boat"'s, tackle the complicated interplay between property, family and safety. "Black-ish" did a brilliant episode this Wednesday on the Johnsons' poorer cousins from Compton — on how alienated both families feel from each other even as they both attempt to engage with the communal group activity of trick-or-treating. "The Goldbergs" depicted mom Bev (Wendy McLendon-Covey) struggling to adapt to doing Halloween without her grown-up kids — and then leaping to their aid when a haunted house gets a little too scary. "Bob's Burgers" Halloween episode last Sunday is entirely about the family trying to scare Louise (Kristen Schaal) for the first time by giving her a fright that is real but not too real, and in order to do so, they have to pull in the neighbors, a few random acquaintances and someone else's house. The politics of trick-or-treating are built in the subtext of the holiday, because it's about the bait-and-switch of fear and fun.

But this Halloween, "Fresh Off The Boat"'s delicate treatment of both the joys and perils of investing in a community seemed to mirror some of my own current lines of thought. This week, bullies in a different neighborhood disrupted two panels at Austin’s major tech and music festival, SXSW. SXSW canceled the panels because of undisclosed threats against both panels, and has now offered up another type of event in their stead, and this is the topic of much important discussion.

The conference's problem is, like Jessica's egging teens in "Fresh Off The Boat," both rather niche concerns, for specific denizens of a specific community. But they are both part of the same universal concern, which is about what it means to have a public space, and what it means to make it safe. In this country in just the past few years, we have struggled with safety in airports, on campuses and now online, because the actions of a very small minority can destroy those spaces for everyone else.“Lone gunmen” attack our schools and universities; anonymous threat-makers get public events canceled and send forums for open discussion into hiding. In the extreme and hopefully never repeated example described here by Kevin Roose, two victims were harassed with hundreds and hundreds of pizzas being delivered to their door, or SWAT teams that are sent to their houses because of phony calls to 911. Neighborhood trick-or-treating, to my mind, is both a beautiful expression of the joys of public space and a reminder of how those spaces can be made vulnerable, too. There's a real fear underneath the costumes of grim reapers and vampires, about what it means to have and celebrate community. Yes, in “Fresh Off The Boat,” the Halloween-ruiners are just a few bullies on skateboards, dispatched with some help from a squad of shit-talking girls wearing glow-in-the-dark lipstick. But the ruiners are out there, the show observes, and you have to figure out what to do with them.

“Fresh Off The Boat”’s first Halloween episode, “Halloween On Dead Street,” focuses on the Huang family’s first Halloween in the suburbs, after years of living in Washington, D.C.’s Chinatown. Louis (Randall Park), the dad of the family, is even more excited for Halloween than the kids. The kids have drawn out a map so they can hit the best candy streets, but Louis has bought matching Mr. and Mrs. T costumes for he and his wife—because while the kids are out getting candy, he’ll be at home giving out candy, and for him, this is a dream. In D.C., he threw candy out of his third story window to passersby below, with mixed results. Now that they live in the suburbs and own a home, he can fulfill his particular version of the American dream. But the Homeowners’ Association wants to go lights-out for the holiday. Two blocks down, on Highland, the Disney Imagineers (remember, this is Orlando) go all-out for Halloween — as one neighbor puts it, “It’s their Super Bowl.” Louis is nearly stymied. In an impassioned speech to his neighbors, he argues:
Look, Halloween isn’t about a bunch of Imagineers spending a bunch of money. It’s about the one day a year where you can lose yourself and create a whole new identity. It’s a chance to forget that we’re a lower middle-class neighborhood living under the flight path of the Orlando airport and trick people—haha, trick. People.—into thinking we’re a scary upper middle-class neighborhood that people would want to visit and get candy from! Ladies, if we build it, they will come. If we build it, they will come.
(Yes, the last line is from “Field Of Dreams.” But because that movie is about “ghost baseball players,” Louis classifies it as a Halloween movie.) Louis’ ultimately successful speech is very funny, as is “Fresh Off The Boat,” an homage-filled rap-music driven sitcom set in the ’90. But Louis’ comical struggle to make Halloween mean something for his Taiwanese-American family strikes a timeless and universal chord. Trick-or-treating is part of Halloween, but it’s a much more complex and delicate tradition than just dressing up as Kanye and Kim and going to a costume party. It takes place in our neighborhoods, on our streets, literally in our backyards — making questions of who is “one of us” and who is an “outsider” particularly relevant, as neighborhoods either turn their lights off early to shoo away strangers or hire “safety officers” to keep the peace. Louis yearns for a regular Halloween that is the suburban birthright — even as his moving to the suburbs complicates that sense of community for the neighbors, those power-walking women who have never been able to befriend his wife Jessica (Constance Wu). What strikes me about the “Fresh Off The Boat” Halloween episode — which is echoed in Halloween episodes throughout sitcom history, but especially several that aired this past week — is how one of the most perplexing things about the modern era is not so much that Halloween upends the status quo of who’s in charge, but also that the holiday upends the status quo of our very American social fragmentation. As was observed most famously (and also controversially) in Robert D. Putnam’s “Bowling Alone,” civil society in America shows evidence of significant decline, especially when it comes to voter apathy. And while the rise of the Internet has probably moved a lot of community building to cyberspace, you can’t exactly trick-or-treat on the information superhighway. Perhaps it is no surprise at all that Putnam’s first article on bowling alone and the first season of “Fresh Off The Boat” both date back to 1995. Unlike her husband Louis, Jessica Huang (Constance Wu) hates Halloween. (If you’ve seen the show, you probably would not be surprised to hear that Jessica dislikes any day where rules become optional.) And in “Halloween On Dead Street,” this takes the form of guarding her investment property — just listed! — from a group of loitering, laconic teenagers with skateboards, who through total disdain manage to terrorize everyone around them. When Jessica runs afoul of them, they threaten to egg her house. Jessica can’t get into the fun spirit of the evening because she’s too busy grappling with the chaotic element that’s threatening her livelihood — she has hundreds of thousands of dollars sunk in that house, and repairing an egging would put her in debt. It’s a delicate note to strike: The day opens up this potentially incredibly enriching public space, but that space can be leveraged all too easily by bullies. Jessica’s fear is the least campy, least gory fear of all; she’s afraid of crushing debt that would ruin her children’s lives. It’s hardly the kind of controlled Halloween fear of spooky monsters in the dark that you might expect. But the implication of the show’s comedy around Hollywood is a little disturbing — that which makes the day so wonderful for Louis is exactly what makes it so terrible for Jessica. That same act of throwing open the doors and engaging with the community can let in both really wonderful and really terrible things.

* * *

There are a lot of Halloween episodes in the world, and a lot that aired just this past week; many, not just "Fresh Off The Boat"'s, tackle the complicated interplay between property, family and safety. "Black-ish" did a brilliant episode this Wednesday on the Johnsons' poorer cousins from Compton — on how alienated both families feel from each other even as they both attempt to engage with the communal group activity of trick-or-treating. "The Goldbergs" depicted mom Bev (Wendy McLendon-Covey) struggling to adapt to doing Halloween without her grown-up kids — and then leaping to their aid when a haunted house gets a little too scary. "Bob's Burgers" Halloween episode last Sunday is entirely about the family trying to scare Louise (Kristen Schaal) for the first time by giving her a fright that is real but not too real, and in order to do so, they have to pull in the neighbors, a few random acquaintances and someone else's house. The politics of trick-or-treating are built in the subtext of the holiday, because it's about the bait-and-switch of fear and fun.

But this Halloween, "Fresh Off The Boat"'s delicate treatment of both the joys and perils of investing in a community seemed to mirror some of my own current lines of thought. This week, bullies in a different neighborhood disrupted two panels at Austin’s major tech and music festival, SXSW. SXSW canceled the panels because of undisclosed threats against both panels, and has now offered up another type of event in their stead, and this is the topic of much important discussion.

The conference's problem is, like Jessica's egging teens in "Fresh Off The Boat," both rather niche concerns, for specific denizens of a specific community. But they are both part of the same universal concern, which is about what it means to have a public space, and what it means to make it safe. In this country in just the past few years, we have struggled with safety in airports, on campuses and now online, because the actions of a very small minority can destroy those spaces for everyone else.“Lone gunmen” attack our schools and universities; anonymous threat-makers get public events canceled and send forums for open discussion into hiding. In the extreme and hopefully never repeated example described here by Kevin Roose, two victims were harassed with hundreds and hundreds of pizzas being delivered to their door, or SWAT teams that are sent to their houses because of phony calls to 911. Neighborhood trick-or-treating, to my mind, is both a beautiful expression of the joys of public space and a reminder of how those spaces can be made vulnerable, too. There's a real fear underneath the costumes of grim reapers and vampires, about what it means to have and celebrate community. Yes, in “Fresh Off The Boat,” the Halloween-ruiners are just a few bullies on skateboards, dispatched with some help from a squad of shit-talking girls wearing glow-in-the-dark lipstick. But the ruiners are out there, the show observes, and you have to figure out what to do with them.

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Published on October 30, 2015 16:00

I wanted to go as Daenerys Targaryen or The Bride — but, apparently, badass costumes are not for fat girls.

I wanted to saunter through the party in the Bride’s iconic yellow-with-the-black-stripe jumpsuit, pointing my plastic katana at the boys who struck my fancy and—emboldened by portraying such a beautiful badass (if only for a night)—playfully taunt them with her most poetic threat: “Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.” This was Halloween 2003: "Kill Bill Volume One" had only been in theaters for a few weeks, but I could already count my viewings on two hands. The sword-swinging heroine didn’t just resonate with me, she echoed through my bones: Nobody has ever put a cap in my crown, but I have been beaten up and bullied, and as I watched her cut her way through the people who hurt her, the pale embers inside me were stoked into a blade of flame. So, when my friends decided to spend All Hallow’s Eve as The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad—or, rather, when I, the woman has always called Halloween her High Holy Day, the one who starts sniffing out parties in early September--decided that we would go as the DiVAS, it was only right that I should wield the Hattori Hanzo steel.  Or, it seemed only right until a friend of a friend asked me if I really thought I could pull off that skin-tight yellow tracksuit. I should have lobbed back a sharp, “you know, for a second there, I kinda did.” 

But she’d poked her fingertip into a spot that was already purpled and tender: Sojourns to the Halloween store yielded nothing except my sword and a blond wig; though the Bride was a popular costume that year, there were no versions of it in my size at the time, an 18-20. And the pickings online for a simple yellow jumpsuit in plus-sizes were similarly slim. On Halloween, a day where we’re told to become our fantasies, however glossy or lewd, in fabric and grease-paint, I was left to rat up some old clothes and rub kohl around my eyes as a zombie—a far cry from the deadliest woman in the world. For years, the shapeless undead would be my go-to Halloween look, even as pop culture grew more fertile with heroines to channel via costume: from Harley Quinn to the Black Widow, Daenerys Targaryen to Katniss Everdeen, Hermione Granger to Imperator Furiosa. But no matter how much I related to these characters for their ferocity and vulnerability, and no matter how much I aspired to be as cunning and brave as they were, I would never look like them, I could never wear their clothes. None of these roles had ever, or would ever, be played out by the fat girl.

My very real love for, and desire to pay tribute to, these fictional women, birthed a casual interest in cosplay, or “costume play,” dressing up like favorite characters (though I’m truly a tourist in the land of geekdom; I’ve only been to one convention)—but there seemed to be no room for me in this kind of make-believe. A quick perusal of the Spirit Halloween website’s plus-size section yields only six pages of options for women, mostly variations of pirate wench, busty fortune teller, and naughty witch. The “regular-size” section boasts eight separate categories for costumes, and within those categories, there can be up to 15 pages of lithe cuties modeling everything from the Bride of Frankenstein’s elegantly tattered bridal-wear to short dresses ornately patterned to look like a Monarch butterfly wing. The film and TV-inspired costumes offer anyone (below a size large that is) the chance to be Daenerys, Wonder Woman and Maleficent. The message is as clear as one of the rhinestones glittering on Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s platform high-heels: Fat women can dream it, but we can’t be it.

“I couldn't find anything decent in my size, at all. If I even found it in my size that is,” says Katt Martin, a plus-size cosplayer with an affinity for the gonzo voluptuosity of Harley Quinn’s approach to life. But fully embodying that affinity has been challenging: “The only item I found that fit me were the shoes … It really frustrated me.  I'm pretty sure I became so stressed that I cried.” The cosplayers in her acquaintance told Martin that her only option was to make her own costume, and though she feared she “lacked the talent or creativity to do it,” her passion for the character prompted her to try. “I like looking at my costume and knowing that … I made that awesome outfit,” she says. Martin has turned a work-around into a new creative outlet, but the shadow of size-based stigma still falls long and cold: “A lot of people think that you should have the same exact body of the character you're cosplaying,” Martin says. “But that just isn’t so.” 

Heina Dadabhoy, who has cosplayed as Carmen Sandiego, has a life-long love of costume and “over the top make-up” but, as a plus-sized woman, struggled to find “affordable, quality ready-made costumes.” Since she has not yet learned to sew, Dadabhoy must pick characters “whose signature looks can be assembled out of streetwear with minimal fuss.” Still, for fat women with a fashion sense, “minimal fuss” isn’t rich irony, it’s a mouthful of curdled milk. Certainly, learning to put an ensemble together piecemeal, or make it from scratch—whether you want to be the Bride, taking down a yakuza syndicate, or just yourself, dazzling in the boardroom—can be an exercise in ingenuity. But when that ingenuity becomes mandatory, it starts to feel like a scavenger hunt through a dark maze: We can hope each turn will take us to the exit, instead, it leads us to bargain racks filled with coats we can’t button, rows of boots that won’t zip around our calves, and skirts that might fit in the waist but ride up the ass.   

As a fat child who became an even fatter woman, my life was defined by limitations. Whenever I walked out of a department store with only earrings or (yet another) scarf, I was acutely, minutely aware of everything I couldn’t be (until I lost 20 pounds) and shouldn’t feel (until I lost 10 more pounds after that): glamorous and powerful, sweet and cute, punkish and raw—able to define and express myself in clothing and make-up. For too long a time, I only knew these joys of ornamentation in the weeks before my crash diets inevitably crashed and burned. I took diet pills that turned my pulse into a tap dance, binged and purged and went hungry until my stomach felt hollowed and slack like an old balloon, and ground away at exercise that made me feel awkward and estranged from my own body—until I wearied of waking up with the taste of ash in my mouth.

I discovered “fatshion,” tumblrs and blogs and instagrams (oh my!) run by women who share my wide, unwieldly ass and eye for color and form. These women aren’t interested in slimming their hips or covering their arms, they wear dresses that caress their bellies in bold patterns and bright color, and they share the names of/links to the places where you too, sister in size 24, 26, size 30, can find that ’50s-style swing dress. So, now a size 24/26, I play with a matte red lip and a chic black trenchcoat, purple bangs and Pepto-pink motorcycle jackets, kimono tops and dresses patterned with sugar skulls—and I feel, for the first time in a long time (maybe ever), beautiful, but more than beautiful; I find power and purpose in extending the creativity I’ve always applied to my writing and visual art to ornamenting—and truly owning—my body.

In having choices, I can be just like every other woman, and yet indistinguishably myself. Even though most stores have limited plus-size options (rarely going above a 14/16), or have relegated their plus sizes to an online boneyard (here’s lookin’ at you, Old Navy), I’ve seen the options for plus-size clothing expand dramatically since I was that college girl who had to forgo visions of epic badassery and spend her Halloween in a dirt-smeared tent-dress: I’m usually only a Google search away from a particular garment, and several local malls house Torrid and Lane Bryant (which has finally caught up with the trends); I have even seen Tess Holliday, who shares my doughy belly and dimpled thighs, on the cover of People magazine as the first “size 22 supermodel.” And yet there is still one place where fat folks aren’t allowed to flex their imaginations—back at the Spirit Halloween and the Party City and the Target (anywhere mainstream, really, where costumes are sold).

The only alternative seems to be getting acquainted with a Singer sewing machine, or learning the fine art of hand-stitching—but what if you’re all thumbs with a needle? “There's not a lot of good midrange cosplay that comes in plus sizes, so you have to either make your own or shell out for something dead-on accurate,” explains Kitty Stryker, a cosplayer who counts Tank Girl, the glitzy-punk warrior queen of a comic dystopia, as one of her favorite costumes. Stryker, who describes her style as “high femme,” was inspired to play with make-up and fashion as a young Ren Faire attendee enthralled with her favorite performer, “the fierce and devious Captain of the Guard.” Her girlhood love of “Halloween and theater and dressing up” survived the inevitable lurch toward adulthood, kept lit and dancing on its wick by fitting “colors and patterns” together with a painterly flourish. Still, she concedes that the work “can feel disheartening sometimes, especially if, like me, you're not a great sewer or pattern maker.”

I am not a great sewer, or even, honestly, a competent one (the kindly neighbor who helps me fix loose buttons on my favorite black trench coat can attest to my ineptitude); I have, however, become an amateur expert in all kinds of make-up: from putting on a nude eye for day-to-day, to using liquid latex and brown powder to make rotting decay. Over the years, my zombie looks became more intricate and sculptural, but they did not reflect what I wanted to be—and, in time, who I knew I really was: a woman who was intelligent and self-contained, dynamic and, yes, beautiful. So, last Halloween, I put away the fake blood and resurrected myself (my real self) in a white-blond wig: I went out as Daenerys Targaryen. I stood taller, walked with a longer, more imperial stride; I waved my hand and (with each drink) bellowed words of Dothraki; and I felt, for the most part, more connected to one of my onscreen inspirations and all the power and glamor she embodies. For the most part, but not all the way: The wig was iconic enough to make me recognizable; still, I couldn’t find any of Dany’s most famous outfits, like that midriff-bearing halter-dress from her days with the Dothraki or the royal blue cape and gown she wore when acquiring her army, in my size, and the plain-Jane maxi-dress I settled for could never approximate their billowy grandeur. For the most part will never be enough.

This Halloween, I will suit up in Katniss Everdeen’s Mockingjay costume—but only because I’ve luckily reconnected with a friend who is a great sewer and pattern-maker and employed her kind of witchery to fashion a black breastplate and shoulder armor out of an old leather jacket. Though I’m grateful for the help in getting beyond “for the most part,” I know how close I came, yet again, to relying on a wig to carry me. When I debut my Mockingjay in public at a few “Halloweekend Spooktaculars,” I know that I’ll give many a three-fingered salute, and attempt (badly) the Mockingjay whistle. Most importantly, I will move with a steeliness, a purpose and poise that our culture doesn’t believe that fat women are capable of. Sometimes, now, if I have a day that makes me ache like an old fracture, haunted by the cold, I find myself slipping on the armor and standing in front of the mirror. I see a woman who did not get to be the Bride, but who still wears the clothing of a heroine.

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Published on October 30, 2015 16:00

Not just “Dead Man’s Party” on a Halloween mix: Oingo Boingo deserves more respect than this

Feel free to use the following controversial statement to bolster your own superior music taste if it’s to your fancy: Oingo Boingo is one of the best, most rewarding and ingenious bands of all time. Disagree with me? I’m not surprised. But if you do agree with me, I believe you hold to every element of the above “controversial statement.” Oingo Boingo is a band you either adore with frenzied joy or one you don’t care about at all and maybe even deride people for touting. If you don’t mind, I’d like to try to get you to be the former if you’re the latter. It’s Halloween — bear with me. I’ve got a long history of being the only guy in the room who loves this band. In sixth grade, I’d yet to hear any song of value outside the pre-’80s albums my parents played in their cars. I was sitting in my computer class, feeling as much social anxiety as an 11-year-old probably can, when I heard the horn blasts calling my name. I mustered up the courage to ask my teacher, Mr. Colwell, what and whom I was hearing. He said, perplexed but smiling, “'Dead Man’s Party' by Oingo Boingo.” Before I sat down, he amended his initial information by saying the "Boingo Alive" version was better. It was the first song I ever bought on iTunes and I listened to it more than 300 times in the first year I owned it. Since then, I’ve had a lot of favorite bands. Right now, the one I tell people is my number one — and am mostly sure actually is — is Pavement. I only say “mostly sure" because always lurking in the shadows are the specters of Danny Elfman’s wild and skeletal new wave band. I saw a Facebook friend post a status saying he’d have a harder time giving up Boingo than the Beatles, and I think I feel the same way. It’d probably be easier to just come out and say they were my favorite if it weren’t for the fact that when I’ve done so, the statement has been met 45 percent of the time with “who are they?,” 45 percent with outright pretentious laughter and derision, and only 10 percent with a similar level of enthusiasm to my own. I don’t mind those who haven’t bent an ear to the band’s freak-outs, but the critics drive me nuts. Upon pressing them, it becomes apparent they’ve only heard three songs by the group: “Little Girls,” “Weird Science,” and/or “Dead Man’s Party.” Let’s take this apart. “Little Girls” is the only one I’d understand causing such disdain. It’s a satirical, bubblegum song about pedophilia. I completely understand why someone wouldn’t want to listen to songs about pedophilia, satirical or otherwise, and it would be remiss of me not to say I feel weird about that song too. “Weird Science” is the theme song for a second-tier John Hughes movie about teenage boys inventing the perfect woman. If you have a problem with the misogynist content of such a film and do not like Oingo Boingo as a result, I understand, but would politely hope you can someday divorce the movie from the song in your mind. However, if you’ve heard “Dead Man’s Party” at a Halloween party and thought it was no good, there is no hope for you. You are most likely an unethical and frustrating person to be around. The strength of Oingo Boingo doesn’t even remotely reside in those few singles, anyway. The fact of the matter is they’ve got a no-misfire ’80s discography. Okay, fine, "Good for Your Soul" leaves a little to be desired, but just swap it out for "So-Lo," Elfman’s solo album, recorded with his Boingo cohorts to get out of a label dispute, and we’re back to a par for the course. Each album, from 1981’s "Only A Lad" to 1987’s "Boi-Ngo," is attacked from a different vantage point with the same weapons: Elfman’s witty lyricism and madman vocals, Steve Bartek’s remarkable guitar work, Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez keeping the drumbeats dancey and dark all at once, a continually inspiring horn section and rotating bass and keyboard players who always found a way to perfectly gel with the band’s escape-the-asylum sound. "Only a Lad" was their first statement as a new wave rock band after a few years of performance art expressionism as the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo. The only real issue with their debut album is that it sounds a lot like Devo. You know how Devo did that really bizarre cover of the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”? There’s a similarly deconstructionist cover of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me” on here. The overall sonic palate of their debut wears a red helmet. If you can get past the closeness of sound to Mark Mothersbaugh’s, you start to really appreciate Elfman’s ear for satire. Yes, the troublesome “Little Girls” is on here, but so are the less offensive (at least to those of a leftist bent) “Capitalism” and (at least to those who don’t take their more private vices too seriously) “Nasty Habits.” The best songs, though, are the furious title track and “On the Outside,” the perfectly-orchestrated ode to being a square peg everyone’s trying to shove through a round hole. 1982’s "Nothing to Fear" sees Elfman and company divorcing themselves from any discernible Devo copycatting. This is where Oingo Boingo really started to sound like their own band. “Grey Matter” starts things out with a spookier synthline than you would’ve found in any other new wave material, and yet sillier than you would be able to locate in post-punk bands of the same time. “Insects” sounds like a band playing punk in a house filled with bees and “Private Life” is equal parts depressing, disturbing and delightful in its depiction of a social outcast who doesn’t seem to have much of a public life. Plus, you know you’re dealing with a pretty subversive band if “Wild Sex (In the Working Class)” is actually one of your least provocative songs. 1983’s "Good for Your Soul" sounds like Danny Elfman splitting himself into two different vocalists: the madcap yowler of the first two records and the earnest songbird of the band’s remaining records. The album’s opener, “Who Do You Want to Be?” is business as usual, insofar as business usually entailed music akin to blowing up your office building. But the title track has Elfman losing the shrieking intensity of “Who Do You Want to Be?” and supplanting it with a more conventionally pretty voice. It’s ultimately a better way to convey how frightening he finds daily life. “Good For Your Soul” is the first Oingo Boingo song that seems to ask the listener to take it seriously. As mentioned earlier, the fourth Oingo Boingo album is actually the first Danny Elfman “solo” album. Due to a label dispute, 1984’s "So-Lo" was attributed to the front man alone. Funnily enough, this is where I’d point most Boingo deniers to begin their journey. The arrangements on songs like “Gratitude” and “Cool City” share far more in common with Elfman’s future as a film composer than with any new wave music of the period. His voice soars skyward instead of slipping into insanity, and the music itself enters a level of complexity you’d have a hard time finding with other pop bands of the period. As far as pop goes, Elfman’s genius lies in his ability to amp up both the intricacy of his composition and the catchiness of his choruses in equal measure. Things seemed to reach critical mass with 1985’s "Dead Man’s Party." Their most popular songs are both here: the title track and “Weird Science”. But if you can make it past the opening synth marimba (yes, marimba) riff accompanied by Elfman wearily intoning, “There’s life in the ground,” without feeling an immense amount of dopamine coursing through your system, Halloween may not be the holiday for you. Other ways to gauge whether you should ever attend a costume party again include whether you don’t start dancing like a maniac to “Heard Somebody Cry,” singing the chorus of “Stay” by the end of the first listen and playing air guitar to “Help Me.” If you can’t get behind the experience this record offers, I’d hazard a guess you don’t like "Ghostbusters" or carving pumpkins, either. It’s fine if that’s the case — it just isn’t something I’d bring up on a first date, if I were you. Most Boingo fans I’ve spoken with point to "Dead Man’s Party" as the pinnacle of the band’s career. It’s their best-known album, the songcraft is top notch and their sound is as developed as it ever would become. But I’d have to give the honor of best Boingo album to their somewhat self-titled 1987 release, "Boi-Ngo." It sounds quite a bit like its predecessor; all the elements that made the former great are here, too. But this is, ultimately, the trump card for any Elfman apologist. Almost every song on "Boi-Ngo" is a ten out of ten. “Home Again” reminds the listener immediately why this is a band so intertwined with October 31st. “Where Do All My Friends Go?” is a vocally layered, alternately sparse and lush song as friendly to new wave as it is to doo-wop and “Elevator Man” is a dance-as-you're-driving song if there ever was one. “New Generation” is perhaps the weakest offering here, but my two favorite songs in their catalogue follow it: the mortality-obsessed yet joyful ballad “We Close Our Eyes” and the ecstatic, organ-driven love song “Not My Slave.” Closing out the set are the resigned yet hopeful “My Life,” the nutcase guitar-and-horns blast of “Outrageous” and the altogether perfect “Pain.” After this, Oingo Boingo lost some steam. Danny Elfman was gaining notoriety as a film composer and it seems like most of his ingenuity ended up getting channeled in that direction. Their last two records, 1990’s "Dark at the End of the Tunnel" and 1994’s "Boingo," sound like a far less dedicated band recorded them. They flirt with the strains of alternative rock popular throughout the early '90s, and the dalliance doesn’t have quite the same impact. After developing such a unique sound, it’s hard to enjoy when a band goes back to parroting what’s popular. Perhaps I’ve been too harsh. You may have perfectly valid reasons to not enjoy Oingo Boingo beyond the ones I’ve already listed. Ultimately, everyone’s taste is subjective and different. But for anyone who ever felt like they were “on the outside looking in,” to borrow a phrase from the band, these guys are the whole package. Their early work is the best kind of furious parody, denigrating the straight-laced and counterculture alike for their judgments toward any given misfit, which makes the emotional maturity and authenticity of their records from 1984 on seem a little more pure. All this to say: If you’ve got an open mind and an ear bent toward the eerie and enjoyable, Oingo Boingo is worth a listen if you haven’t heard them beyond the basic Halloween party mix. If you still think they’re just some ridiculous novelty band, that’s fine too. Just remember Danny Elfman wrote some fantastic songs about people just like you.Feel free to use the following controversial statement to bolster your own superior music taste if it’s to your fancy: Oingo Boingo is one of the best, most rewarding and ingenious bands of all time. Disagree with me? I’m not surprised. But if you do agree with me, I believe you hold to every element of the above “controversial statement.” Oingo Boingo is a band you either adore with frenzied joy or one you don’t care about at all and maybe even deride people for touting. If you don’t mind, I’d like to try to get you to be the former if you’re the latter. It’s Halloween — bear with me. I’ve got a long history of being the only guy in the room who loves this band. In sixth grade, I’d yet to hear any song of value outside the pre-’80s albums my parents played in their cars. I was sitting in my computer class, feeling as much social anxiety as an 11-year-old probably can, when I heard the horn blasts calling my name. I mustered up the courage to ask my teacher, Mr. Colwell, what and whom I was hearing. He said, perplexed but smiling, “'Dead Man’s Party' by Oingo Boingo.” Before I sat down, he amended his initial information by saying the "Boingo Alive" version was better. It was the first song I ever bought on iTunes and I listened to it more than 300 times in the first year I owned it. Since then, I’ve had a lot of favorite bands. Right now, the one I tell people is my number one — and am mostly sure actually is — is Pavement. I only say “mostly sure" because always lurking in the shadows are the specters of Danny Elfman’s wild and skeletal new wave band. I saw a Facebook friend post a status saying he’d have a harder time giving up Boingo than the Beatles, and I think I feel the same way. It’d probably be easier to just come out and say they were my favorite if it weren’t for the fact that when I’ve done so, the statement has been met 45 percent of the time with “who are they?,” 45 percent with outright pretentious laughter and derision, and only 10 percent with a similar level of enthusiasm to my own. I don’t mind those who haven’t bent an ear to the band’s freak-outs, but the critics drive me nuts. Upon pressing them, it becomes apparent they’ve only heard three songs by the group: “Little Girls,” “Weird Science,” and/or “Dead Man’s Party.” Let’s take this apart. “Little Girls” is the only one I’d understand causing such disdain. It’s a satirical, bubblegum song about pedophilia. I completely understand why someone wouldn’t want to listen to songs about pedophilia, satirical or otherwise, and it would be remiss of me not to say I feel weird about that song too. “Weird Science” is the theme song for a second-tier John Hughes movie about teenage boys inventing the perfect woman. If you have a problem with the misogynist content of such a film and do not like Oingo Boingo as a result, I understand, but would politely hope you can someday divorce the movie from the song in your mind. However, if you’ve heard “Dead Man’s Party” at a Halloween party and thought it was no good, there is no hope for you. You are most likely an unethical and frustrating person to be around. The strength of Oingo Boingo doesn’t even remotely reside in those few singles, anyway. The fact of the matter is they’ve got a no-misfire ’80s discography. Okay, fine, "Good for Your Soul" leaves a little to be desired, but just swap it out for "So-Lo," Elfman’s solo album, recorded with his Boingo cohorts to get out of a label dispute, and we’re back to a par for the course. Each album, from 1981’s "Only A Lad" to 1987’s "Boi-Ngo," is attacked from a different vantage point with the same weapons: Elfman’s witty lyricism and madman vocals, Steve Bartek’s remarkable guitar work, Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez keeping the drumbeats dancey and dark all at once, a continually inspiring horn section and rotating bass and keyboard players who always found a way to perfectly gel with the band’s escape-the-asylum sound. "Only a Lad" was their first statement as a new wave rock band after a few years of performance art expressionism as the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo. The only real issue with their debut album is that it sounds a lot like Devo. You know how Devo did that really bizarre cover of the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”? There’s a similarly deconstructionist cover of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me” on here. The overall sonic palate of their debut wears a red helmet. If you can get past the closeness of sound to Mark Mothersbaugh’s, you start to really appreciate Elfman’s ear for satire. Yes, the troublesome “Little Girls” is on here, but so are the less offensive (at least to those of a leftist bent) “Capitalism” and (at least to those who don’t take their more private vices too seriously) “Nasty Habits.” The best songs, though, are the furious title track and “On the Outside,” the perfectly-orchestrated ode to being a square peg everyone’s trying to shove through a round hole. 1982’s "Nothing to Fear" sees Elfman and company divorcing themselves from any discernible Devo copycatting. This is where Oingo Boingo really started to sound like their own band. “Grey Matter” starts things out with a spookier synthline than you would’ve found in any other new wave material, and yet sillier than you would be able to locate in post-punk bands of the same time. “Insects” sounds like a band playing punk in a house filled with bees and “Private Life” is equal parts depressing, disturbing and delightful in its depiction of a social outcast who doesn’t seem to have much of a public life. Plus, you know you’re dealing with a pretty subversive band if “Wild Sex (In the Working Class)” is actually one of your least provocative songs. 1983’s "Good for Your Soul" sounds like Danny Elfman splitting himself into two different vocalists: the madcap yowler of the first two records and the earnest songbird of the band’s remaining records. The album’s opener, “Who Do You Want to Be?” is business as usual, insofar as business usually entailed music akin to blowing up your office building. But the title track has Elfman losing the shrieking intensity of “Who Do You Want to Be?” and supplanting it with a more conventionally pretty voice. It’s ultimately a better way to convey how frightening he finds daily life. “Good For Your Soul” is the first Oingo Boingo song that seems to ask the listener to take it seriously. As mentioned earlier, the fourth Oingo Boingo album is actually the first Danny Elfman “solo” album. Due to a label dispute, 1984’s "So-Lo" was attributed to the front man alone. Funnily enough, this is where I’d point most Boingo deniers to begin their journey. The arrangements on songs like “Gratitude” and “Cool City” share far more in common with Elfman’s future as a film composer than with any new wave music of the period. His voice soars skyward instead of slipping into insanity, and the music itself enters a level of complexity you’d have a hard time finding with other pop bands of the period. As far as pop goes, Elfman’s genius lies in his ability to amp up both the intricacy of his composition and the catchiness of his choruses in equal measure. Things seemed to reach critical mass with 1985’s "Dead Man’s Party." Their most popular songs are both here: the title track and “Weird Science”. But if you can make it past the opening synth marimba (yes, marimba) riff accompanied by Elfman wearily intoning, “There’s life in the ground,” without feeling an immense amount of dopamine coursing through your system, Halloween may not be the holiday for you. Other ways to gauge whether you should ever attend a costume party again include whether you don’t start dancing like a maniac to “Heard Somebody Cry,” singing the chorus of “Stay” by the end of the first listen and playing air guitar to “Help Me.” If you can’t get behind the experience this record offers, I’d hazard a guess you don’t like "Ghostbusters" or carving pumpkins, either. It’s fine if that’s the case — it just isn’t something I’d bring up on a first date, if I were you. Most Boingo fans I’ve spoken with point to "Dead Man’s Party" as the pinnacle of the band’s career. It’s their best-known album, the songcraft is top notch and their sound is as developed as it ever would become. But I’d have to give the honor of best Boingo album to their somewhat self-titled 1987 release, "Boi-Ngo." It sounds quite a bit like its predecessor; all the elements that made the former great are here, too. But this is, ultimately, the trump card for any Elfman apologist. Almost every song on "Boi-Ngo" is a ten out of ten. “Home Again” reminds the listener immediately why this is a band so intertwined with October 31st. “Where Do All My Friends Go?” is a vocally layered, alternately sparse and lush song as friendly to new wave as it is to doo-wop and “Elevator Man” is a dance-as-you're-driving song if there ever was one. “New Generation” is perhaps the weakest offering here, but my two favorite songs in their catalogue follow it: the mortality-obsessed yet joyful ballad “We Close Our Eyes” and the ecstatic, organ-driven love song “Not My Slave.” Closing out the set are the resigned yet hopeful “My Life,” the nutcase guitar-and-horns blast of “Outrageous” and the altogether perfect “Pain.” After this, Oingo Boingo lost some steam. Danny Elfman was gaining notoriety as a film composer and it seems like most of his ingenuity ended up getting channeled in that direction. Their last two records, 1990’s "Dark at the End of the Tunnel" and 1994’s "Boingo," sound like a far less dedicated band recorded them. They flirt with the strains of alternative rock popular throughout the early '90s, and the dalliance doesn’t have quite the same impact. After developing such a unique sound, it’s hard to enjoy when a band goes back to parroting what’s popular. Perhaps I’ve been too harsh. You may have perfectly valid reasons to not enjoy Oingo Boingo beyond the ones I’ve already listed. Ultimately, everyone’s taste is subjective and different. But for anyone who ever felt like they were “on the outside looking in,” to borrow a phrase from the band, these guys are the whole package. Their early work is the best kind of furious parody, denigrating the straight-laced and counterculture alike for their judgments toward any given misfit, which makes the emotional maturity and authenticity of their records from 1984 on seem a little more pure. All this to say: If you’ve got an open mind and an ear bent toward the eerie and enjoyable, Oingo Boingo is worth a listen if you haven’t heard them beyond the basic Halloween party mix. If you still think they’re just some ridiculous novelty band, that’s fine too. Just remember Danny Elfman wrote some fantastic songs about people just like you.Feel free to use the following controversial statement to bolster your own superior music taste if it’s to your fancy: Oingo Boingo is one of the best, most rewarding and ingenious bands of all time. Disagree with me? I’m not surprised. But if you do agree with me, I believe you hold to every element of the above “controversial statement.” Oingo Boingo is a band you either adore with frenzied joy or one you don’t care about at all and maybe even deride people for touting. If you don’t mind, I’d like to try to get you to be the former if you’re the latter. It’s Halloween — bear with me. I’ve got a long history of being the only guy in the room who loves this band. In sixth grade, I’d yet to hear any song of value outside the pre-’80s albums my parents played in their cars. I was sitting in my computer class, feeling as much social anxiety as an 11-year-old probably can, when I heard the horn blasts calling my name. I mustered up the courage to ask my teacher, Mr. Colwell, what and whom I was hearing. He said, perplexed but smiling, “'Dead Man’s Party' by Oingo Boingo.” Before I sat down, he amended his initial information by saying the "Boingo Alive" version was better. It was the first song I ever bought on iTunes and I listened to it more than 300 times in the first year I owned it. Since then, I’ve had a lot of favorite bands. Right now, the one I tell people is my number one — and am mostly sure actually is — is Pavement. I only say “mostly sure" because always lurking in the shadows are the specters of Danny Elfman’s wild and skeletal new wave band. I saw a Facebook friend post a status saying he’d have a harder time giving up Boingo than the Beatles, and I think I feel the same way. It’d probably be easier to just come out and say they were my favorite if it weren’t for the fact that when I’ve done so, the statement has been met 45 percent of the time with “who are they?,” 45 percent with outright pretentious laughter and derision, and only 10 percent with a similar level of enthusiasm to my own. I don’t mind those who haven’t bent an ear to the band’s freak-outs, but the critics drive me nuts. Upon pressing them, it becomes apparent they’ve only heard three songs by the group: “Little Girls,” “Weird Science,” and/or “Dead Man’s Party.” Let’s take this apart. “Little Girls” is the only one I’d understand causing such disdain. It’s a satirical, bubblegum song about pedophilia. I completely understand why someone wouldn’t want to listen to songs about pedophilia, satirical or otherwise, and it would be remiss of me not to say I feel weird about that song too. “Weird Science” is the theme song for a second-tier John Hughes movie about teenage boys inventing the perfect woman. If you have a problem with the misogynist content of such a film and do not like Oingo Boingo as a result, I understand, but would politely hope you can someday divorce the movie from the song in your mind. However, if you’ve heard “Dead Man’s Party” at a Halloween party and thought it was no good, there is no hope for you. You are most likely an unethical and frustrating person to be around. The strength of Oingo Boingo doesn’t even remotely reside in those few singles, anyway. The fact of the matter is they’ve got a no-misfire ’80s discography. Okay, fine, "Good for Your Soul" leaves a little to be desired, but just swap it out for "So-Lo," Elfman’s solo album, recorded with his Boingo cohorts to get out of a label dispute, and we’re back to a par for the course. Each album, from 1981’s "Only A Lad" to 1987’s "Boi-Ngo," is attacked from a different vantage point with the same weapons: Elfman’s witty lyricism and madman vocals, Steve Bartek’s remarkable guitar work, Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez keeping the drumbeats dancey and dark all at once, a continually inspiring horn section and rotating bass and keyboard players who always found a way to perfectly gel with the band’s escape-the-asylum sound. "Only a Lad" was their first statement as a new wave rock band after a few years of performance art expressionism as the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo. The only real issue with their debut album is that it sounds a lot like Devo. You know how Devo did that really bizarre cover of the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”? There’s a similarly deconstructionist cover of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me” on here. The overall sonic palate of their debut wears a red helmet. If you can get past the closeness of sound to Mark Mothersbaugh’s, you start to really appreciate Elfman’s ear for satire. Yes, the troublesome “Little Girls” is on here, but so are the less offensive (at least to those of a leftist bent) “Capitalism” and (at least to those who don’t take their more private vices too seriously) “Nasty Habits.” The best songs, though, are the furious title track and “On the Outside,” the perfectly-orchestrated ode to being a square peg everyone’s trying to shove through a round hole. 1982’s "Nothing to Fear" sees Elfman and company divorcing themselves from any discernible Devo copycatting. This is where Oingo Boingo really started to sound like their own band. “Grey Matter” starts things out with a spookier synthline than you would’ve found in any other new wave material, and yet sillier than you would be able to locate in post-punk bands of the same time. “Insects” sounds like a band playing punk in a house filled with bees and “Private Life” is equal parts depressing, disturbing and delightful in its depiction of a social outcast who doesn’t seem to have much of a public life. Plus, you know you’re dealing with a pretty subversive band if “Wild Sex (In the Working Class)” is actually one of your least provocative songs. 1983’s "Good for Your Soul" sounds like Danny Elfman splitting himself into two different vocalists: the madcap yowler of the first two records and the earnest songbird of the band’s remaining records. The album’s opener, “Who Do You Want to Be?” is business as usual, insofar as business usually entailed music akin to blowing up your office building. But the title track has Elfman losing the shrieking intensity of “Who Do You Want to Be?” and supplanting it with a more conventionally pretty voice. It’s ultimately a better way to convey how frightening he finds daily life. “Good For Your Soul” is the first Oingo Boingo song that seems to ask the listener to take it seriously. As mentioned earlier, the fourth Oingo Boingo album is actually the first Danny Elfman “solo” album. Due to a label dispute, 1984’s "So-Lo" was attributed to the front man alone. Funnily enough, this is where I’d point most Boingo deniers to begin their journey. The arrangements on songs like “Gratitude” and “Cool City” share far more in common with Elfman’s future as a film composer than with any new wave music of the period. His voice soars skyward instead of slipping into insanity, and the music itself enters a level of complexity you’d have a hard time finding with other pop bands of the period. As far as pop goes, Elfman’s genius lies in his ability to amp up both the intricacy of his composition and the catchiness of his choruses in equal measure. Things seemed to reach critical mass with 1985’s "Dead Man’s Party." Their most popular songs are both here: the title track and “Weird Science”. But if you can make it past the opening synth marimba (yes, marimba) riff accompanied by Elfman wearily intoning, “There’s life in the ground,” without feeling an immense amount of dopamine coursing through your system, Halloween may not be the holiday for you. Other ways to gauge whether you should ever attend a costume party again include whether you don’t start dancing like a maniac to “Heard Somebody Cry,” singing the chorus of “Stay” by the end of the first listen and playing air guitar to “Help Me.” If you can’t get behind the experience this record offers, I’d hazard a guess you don’t like "Ghostbusters" or carving pumpkins, either. It’s fine if that’s the case — it just isn’t something I’d bring up on a first date, if I were you. Most Boingo fans I’ve spoken with point to "Dead Man’s Party" as the pinnacle of the band’s career. It’s their best-known album, the songcraft is top notch and their sound is as developed as it ever would become. But I’d have to give the honor of best Boingo album to their somewhat self-titled 1987 release, "Boi-Ngo." It sounds quite a bit like its predecessor; all the elements that made the former great are here, too. But this is, ultimately, the trump card for any Elfman apologist. Almost every song on "Boi-Ngo" is a ten out of ten. “Home Again” reminds the listener immediately why this is a band so intertwined with October 31st. “Where Do All My Friends Go?” is a vocally layered, alternately sparse and lush song as friendly to new wave as it is to doo-wop and “Elevator Man” is a dance-as-you're-driving song if there ever was one. “New Generation” is perhaps the weakest offering here, but my two favorite songs in their catalogue follow it: the mortality-obsessed yet joyful ballad “We Close Our Eyes” and the ecstatic, organ-driven love song “Not My Slave.” Closing out the set are the resigned yet hopeful “My Life,” the nutcase guitar-and-horns blast of “Outrageous” and the altogether perfect “Pain.” After this, Oingo Boingo lost some steam. Danny Elfman was gaining notoriety as a film composer and it seems like most of his ingenuity ended up getting channeled in that direction. Their last two records, 1990’s "Dark at the End of the Tunnel" and 1994’s "Boingo," sound like a far less dedicated band recorded them. They flirt with the strains of alternative rock popular throughout the early '90s, and the dalliance doesn’t have quite the same impact. After developing such a unique sound, it’s hard to enjoy when a band goes back to parroting what’s popular. Perhaps I’ve been too harsh. You may have perfectly valid reasons to not enjoy Oingo Boingo beyond the ones I’ve already listed. Ultimately, everyone’s taste is subjective and different. But for anyone who ever felt like they were “on the outside looking in,” to borrow a phrase from the band, these guys are the whole package. Their early work is the best kind of furious parody, denigrating the straight-laced and counterculture alike for their judgments toward any given misfit, which makes the emotional maturity and authenticity of their records from 1984 on seem a little more pure. All this to say: If you’ve got an open mind and an ear bent toward the eerie and enjoyable, Oingo Boingo is worth a listen if you haven’t heard them beyond the basic Halloween party mix. If you still think they’re just some ridiculous novelty band, that’s fine too. Just remember Danny Elfman wrote some fantastic songs about people just like you.

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Published on October 30, 2015 15:59

“Douchebag says what?”: Stephen Colbert unloads on CNBC, GOP crybabies

Stephen Colbert joined the list of people blaming the CNBC moderators for asking the GOP uncomfortable questions at the debate on Thursday night's "Late Show." From the very beginning, Colbert says it was a shitshow -- because the panel asked the one question that no single person in human history has ever answered honestly: "What is your biggest weakness?" "When I interviewed for this job I said that sometimes I work so hard I forget to cash my paychecks." But of all the crappy answers, it was Ted Cruz who Colbert said was "the most, least." Cruz answered with his now famous comment that he isn't the guy you're going to grab a beer with, but he'll drive you home. "That's a great appeal to the voters," Colbert said. "Ted Cruz 2016: Get in the car." From that point on, it was CNBC who showed us all how to conduct a debate, unburdened by any respect. But, let's be honest, respect is something this GOP primary hasn't had that much of so far anyway. Whether it was tanking poll numbers for Bush or why Fiorina got canned, Colbert said it was the most impolite set of questions "since the Lincoln-Douglas debate started with 'Mr. Lincoln, douchebag says what?'" Of course, these terrible questions perpetuate the "liberal media" bias that the Republicans love to tout, and they did so with gusto each time they got a question that challenged their campaign narrative or ideology. Even Chris Christie called the moderators rude at one point, saying that people in his state would find it abhorrent, which is really saying something. "Yeah! Listen to the governor of New Jersey," Colbert said. "He knows the people in his home state act like animals! Closing statements in Newark get chopped up and dumped in the Meadowlands." But after a few of these long-ass debates became overwhelming to the candidates, Donald Trump went to make a deal. Not for him of course, because he can go all night even without debate Viagra. It's the American people Trump sought to save from three hours of nonstop questioning like it some kind of Benghazi hearing or something. That was the point that Colbert joined the Trump campaign. "Donald! You saved us from another hour and a half of that debate! You truly are a great leader and you have earned my vote. As long as you can negotiate your presidency down from four years to .... ya know, two hours feels about right." But even before the debate began, the complaints were pouring in from the Republican candidates. Debate green rooms were not created equal. Trump's and Cruz' looked like a movie theater and Fiorina's had a jacuzzi in it. Rand Paul's pretty much was a jail cell and Chris Christie got a closet with a toilet in it. "Maybe it wasn't an insult. For instance, the RNC might have just wanted Chris Christie to be closer to where his campaign has gone." Check out the rest here:

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Published on October 30, 2015 13:57

Carly Fiorina doesn’t know what she’s talking about, part (we’ve lost count): How her latest Hillary Clinton swipe diminishes women

In all the fussing over whether or not CNBC ran a fair debate for Republicans on Wednesday night, some of the actual claims made by the candidates got somewhat lost in the shuffle. (Which is no doubt the reason for the faux controversy about CNBC's moderation.) But now the fact-checkers, who had a hell of a job to complete after the candidates dropped bucketfuls of lies on the audience, are finally getting the hard work of correcting the record done. One of the biggest lies of the night, unsurprisingly, came out of the mouth of Carly Fiorina, when she let loose with this statement, which has so much falseness that it's hard to unpack it all:
Becky, it is the height of hypocrisy for Mrs. Clinton to talk about being the first woman President, when every single policy she espouses, and every single policy of President Obama has been demonstrably bad for women. 92 percent -- 92 percent of the jobs lost during Barack Obama's first term belonged to women. Senator Cruz is precisely right. Three million women have fallen into poverty under this administration. The number of women living in extreme poverty is the highest level on record.
Every single policy? Oh really? Even setting aside the economic questions, Fiorina's statement assumes that reproductive choice, greater access to birth control, access to health insurance under Obamacare, and increased access to justice if you're sexually harassed or assaulted on campus is somehow bad for women. In the world of demonstrable claims, the opposite is clearly true. On the economic front, Fiorina was not telling the truth. The fact-checking hardly needs to be done---most readers can guess that the job loss she's talking about is due to the horrible recession that Obama inherited and had to spend most his administration trying to turn around---but Think Progress nonetheless has a careful breakdown of how wrong Fiorina was. The 3 million figure appears to be made up whole cloth. While it is true that more women (and men) are living in extreme poverty, much of it has to do with restrictions on welfare, which is a conservative policy idea, even though some Democrats have gone along with it.  The job loss figures are the result of seriously massaging the statistics:
Employment data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that women lost 362,000 jobs between January 2009 — Obama took office on January 21 — and March 2012, the timeframe originally cited by Romney and the Republican National Committee to get to the 92 percent figure. There were 303,000 jobs lost overall during that period. But women’s job loss was following a decline that began under President George W. Bush. Between their peak in January of 2008 and when Obama took office a year later, women lost 1.13 million jobs. The recession, which was causing everyone’s job losses, didn’t begin under Obama’s watch.
If you look at the overall job losses that are due the recession -- which is Bush's recession, not Obama's -- instead of merely assuming that Obama started the recession by entering office, the numbers show that men lost a lot of jobs, as well. So this is a multi-faceted lie that lies by blaming the recession on Obama and by skewing the statistics on job losses to make it look like women were the primary victims when they were not. As Think Progress notes, "women and men have nearly identical unemployment rates — 4.6 and 4.7 percent, respectively, as of September". But what makes this talking point interesting, beyond just being false, is that it builds off a larger rhetorical strategy that Republicans have been using to deflect accusations that they are waging war on women: Suggesting that it's unseemly and somehow inherently reductive to speak of women's issues outside of economic concerns. For a couple years now, Republicans have argued that if you support a woman's right to contraception and abortion, then you are saying that this is only thing she could possibly care about. Mike Huckabee used it in 2013, when he argued that being pro-choice means you somehow don't believe women are "far more complicated than their libido and the management of their reproductive system". Republicans also shamed Mark Udall for being pro-choice in his run against Cory Gardner for Colorado senator by calling him "Mark Uterus." Dana Loesch of Breitbart frequently equates being pro-choice to "reducing" women to their "vaginas." Andrea Tantaros of Fox News, upon finding out that the majority of women voted for Democrats, argued that it is because they are "one-issue" voters who only care about "free birth control." Obviously, it's barking madness to argue that support for reproductive health care access somehow means you don't care about issues. In fact, if anyone is obsessed with women's bodies, it's Republicans, who have spent the past few years obsessively attacking abortion access and throwing nationwide temper tantrums over the idea of treating contraception like it's a normal part of women's preventive health care. But there's a reason that this talking point makes emotional sense to conservatives, even if it doesn't make logical sense to anyone. The underlying assumption driving this talking point is that there are two kinds of women: Women who have sex for pleasure instead of procreation (or at least admit to doing so) and women who deserve respect. Because pro-choicers take it as a given that women have sex, conservatives assume they are insulting them. To the conservative mind, it's simply impossible to treat a woman like a full, complex human being with many political concerns while assuming she's sexual. This talking point is pure projection, of course, since the only people who can't grasp that a woman might want reproductive rights and a job and an education are Republicans. This talking point is what Fiorina was eluding to with her weird claim that "every single policy" Clinton espouses is somehow bad for women. Through conservative pretzel logic, defending reproductive rights is somehow bad for women because it assumes that women might be having sex, which is supposedly an insult to women. This talking point also assumes that there's a conflict between wanting women to have reproductive health care and wanting women to have jobs. In the real world, these goals all work together, particularly since being able to choose when you give birth makes it easier for women to plan out their careers successfully. The fact that Republicans keep going to this well, acting like there's some kind of conflict between wanting women to be treated like equals in the workplace and wanting women to be able to have sex on their own terms, says a lot more about Republicans than it does the Democrats they aim to criticize.

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Published on October 30, 2015 13:11