Amanda Cook's Blog, page 8

There She Goes!

I’m dropping a quick note here to say that I haven’t forgotten the blog. Summer’s almost over as is my self-imposed writing break. Last week, my family and I spent a much-needed vacation in the Charleston, South Carolina, area doing what we love to do on the coast: swimming in the ocean and eating a ton of seafood. It was a total vacation for me, with hours of reading and no laptop mutely accusing me of being a terrible author for not having done any “real” work in months.

 

We came home on Saturday, but will only be here for four days before we leave again. Tomorrow, my husband and I head up to Indianapolis for “The Best Four Days in Gaming” (TM), Gen Con, one of my favorite times of the year, right up there with Christmas and Halloween. There will be much gaming, cosplaying, and shenanigans as we meet up with friends from both near and far. I don’t have a new book to promote this year, so I’ve decided to spend my con experience exclusively as an attendee, wearing costumes Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and in plain clothes on Sunday. If you happen to run into me, feel free to say hi! I’d love to meet you. I’ll probably be found hanging around my friends’ booths in the vendor hall (like Zombie Orpheus Entertainment, Booth #114) or at any number of seminars, workshops, panels, or film screenings. As much as I love to play board games, it’s just as fun to try out some of the other events happening around the con.

Gen Con ends on Sunday, and my boys go back to school on Monday. Next week will be a week of reckoning, the week to prove that I can spend time away from a project and get back into it with little difficulty. I hope to have revisions done on my sci-fi novel and back to my editor by the end of August, but that will depend on how quickly those revisions go. There may be a long period of silence on the blog while I work, or I may go ahead and start posting the prequel short stories to The Golden Orb here. We’ll see how everything goes as I try to strengthen my flabby writing muscles.

As always, I appreciate your patience. It’s been a fun summer break, but I’ve been itching to get back to writing. Stay tuned for when things start getting done!

Thanks for reading,

A. Cook

Filed under: cosplay, gaming, Gen Con, self-published novel, vacation, writing Tagged: Charleston, cosplay, gaming, Gen Con, vacation, writing break

Cover Reveal! (And A Bit On Empathy)

Lazy summer days. That phrase is an oxymoron.

Is it really summer? The humidity level says it is, but otherwise, I’m not quite convinced. Our area has had a few spots of blue sky accompanied with the usual summer heat, but for the majority of our waking hours (and many of our sleeping ones), the hills of Indiana have been swathed in gray clouds and rain. Buckets of rain. You’d think we were living in the Tropics. I managed to tame my jungle of a lawn in the few minutes of dryness we experienced yesterday, and it may have been some sort of record for the week, both the amount of sunlight and my race to finish mowing before it started raining again. As I write this, there’s been a break in an hour long downpour, but the timpani beat of thunder continues to rumble in the distance, promising more.

Also, as lazy as I have been in regards to my writing, everything else hasn’t slowed down much. Since last weekend, my husband and I renovated a bathroom in our house (wall paint and vinyl self stick floor tiles are the superheroes of the home improvement arena), and our boys are a bit more knowledgeable in the ways of swimming. They have four more lessons to go, but so far they’re showing amazing progress for their ages and abilities. Between driving them back and forth to the pool and running miscellaneous errands and hosting our weekly board game group one evening and sewing costumes for upcoming conventions, I haven’t exactly been lazy. This has been the first morning that I’ve been able to sit for a long while and catch up on a few Internet things, which is probably why I suddenly felt compelled to write a blog post.

It’s going to be a short(ish) post, because I need to get back to sewing. With a food festival tomorrow, Father’s Day on Sunday, and date night tonight (we’re seeing a local production of “Hairspray”!), there are going to be only so many hours in which I can hole up in our basement and work at my sewing machine — after I play with the boys, of course. So without further ado:

Blog Post, Part the First:

I’d like to direct you to this amazing article on empathy by musician/songwriter/wonder woman Amanda Palmer. Her words stuck in my brain and have not let go. They are reshaping the way I look at conflict.

Which leads into a video I shared on my personal Facebook page this morning about racism in America as it pertains to recent events (with my own text and a link to the video in quotes below):

“Jon [Stewart] always knows what to say, and he says it here brilliantly. And I may get some flack for this, but I’m trying to empathize as much with the young man who committed this heinous act as with the families who were devastated by his act, if only because I do not want to forget that he’s a human being too. A misguided, morally reprehensible human being, but a human nonetheless…just as every other terrorist is on this planet. And when we forget that and scream out for more violence to be perpetrated on them, it doesn’t make us any better than them.

Okay, I’m done.”

Jon Stewart is my spirit animal.

Okay, now I’m done.

Blog Post, Part the Second:

So, that science fiction novel I had been feverishly working on since November and now am slogging through to get revisions done … you know, that one?

It has a cover.

Yes, it’s not even close to being published, but let me say that again.

IT HAS A COVER!

My awesome, amazingly talented friend, Devin Night, who did the cover for The Golden Orb as well as the map of Ouestfold agreed to do a cover for my sci-fi novel, and like him, it is awesomely amazing. (Of course, I may be biased.) He’s given me permission to share it before I publish the novel, so here it is in all its beauty:

By Devin Night at http://immortalnights.com

I am in awe of how Devin can take the notes I give him on my stories and create images that are much more beautiful than what I see in my head. He may make a few tweaks to the cover to fit the trim size of the finished novel, but otherwise, this is it. Those are my main character’s hands, by the way. What she’s using is a memopad, like a futuristic iPad/tablet. And that logo for the Terran Alliance, my futuristic world government? I gave Devin a single sentence from the novel as well as a few more details describing it. Again, just astounding work. If you like the cover design, you can check out more of Devin’s work at immortalnights.com. He makes digital character tokens and maps for virtual role-playing games (RPGs that you play on your computer), and they’re just as fun to look at as that image above. Hopefully, posting the cover here will motivate me to get down to work myself.

But not now. Now it’s lunchtime for me and the boys. And I have some serious sewing to get done this afternoon. And it’s raining again.

Thanks for reading.

A. Cook

Filed under: empathy, parenting, sci-fi, self-published novel, writing Tagged: Amanda Palmer, book cover, buckets of rain, cover reveal, Devin Night, empathy, Jon Stewart, lazy summer days, more rain, motivations, rain, Self-publishing, sewing, writing

I’m Not A Feminist’s Feminist Anymore

First, a little update for those few who read this blog: Yes, I am writing. Not everyday, but I am writing. Slowly.

My boys started their summer vacation last week, and I decided at some point during the school year that this was going to be the most low-key summer yet. Last year, they spent June and July enjoying summer camp after summer camp after swimming lessons after God only knows what else. Then we went on our annual family vacation to the beach. Then we celebrated our older son’s birthday. Then the boys went back to school. It felt rushed. It felt tiring. It was not a true break. Even though I had mornings to myself while the boys were in summer camps, I was still working on publishing The Golden Orb. No, it was not a break for any of us.

Then they started school again, and I spent the better part of ten months getting them there. One boy in half-day preschool, the other in full-day elementary. Back and forth three times a day, five days a week, plus any errands or meetups or anything else I needed or wanted to do. It was a lot of traveling, and by April, I was pretty much done with it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love their school. It’s a private, parent-run Montessori school with an elementary program, which is why neither of them rides a bus. We have happily traded the bus-riding experience during their primary years for a wonderful individualized curriculum. Our school community is amazing too, so I try not to complain about the excess driving and constantly remind myself that we only have to do it for a couple more years, when our youngest will be in school all day.

Still, I’m glad it’s summer break, when we don’t have to feel rushed in the morning to get out the door. And this year we’re doing two weeks of swimming lessons. THAT’S IT. No summer camps. Our family vacation to the beach isn’t until the middle of July, and as soon as we get back, my husband and I will be going to Gen Con. Other than that and my birthday weekend, we have a whole lot of nothing planned.

Even with all the time ahead of us, I don’t foresee the science fiction novel I’ve been feverishly working on since January getting published until late summer or fall. Why? Well, because I want to enjoy our summer break. I do plan on writing, but I don’t want to spend the majority of the next two months hunched over my laptop while my boys are playing Plants vs. Zombies in the other room. Last week, I allowed them screen time in the mornings while I did some revisions, and with as much writing as I got done — which, granted, doesn’t seem like a whole lot —  I felt guilty that I wasn’t giving my sons my full attention. We spent quality time in the afternoons and evenings together, but now that they’re home all day, I feel my motherly responsibilities glaring down on me like the hot July sun.

The novel will get done. Despite the soul-crushing, mind-numbing bouts of self-doubt I’ve had recently, thinking I’ll never meet my editor’s high expectations, the novel will get done. It’s been difficult after reading a “Wow. Just wow” critique from her, knowing I’ve done my best work yet, also knowing that there’s still more work to do. To make the story flow and the characters’ relationships believable, I have a lot of revision to do. It’s just that I’m having trouble getting motivated to do it. Once I sit down and start writing, I’m okay. Before then, I cringe at the amount of revision ahead and worry about my ability to do it well.

So, this summer, to keep myself from burning out, I’ll keep writing, but I’ll take it slow and spend the majority of my time doing the other things I love to do: playing with my kids and hanging out with my husband, my friends and my family; sewing and reading lots of books. (It’s amazing how many books I’ve devoured over the past few weeks. I started with The Fault in our Stars and have barely let up since, continually reminding myself that reading will only make me a better writer.)

All of this sort of brings me to the title of this post.

Besides playing with my kids and sewing and all the other things, I’ve thought about taking a break from the Internet for a bit. I doubt that’s actually going to happen, but I’ve thought about it. It started when I got trolled over the picture of my hamster, but then, this happened, and the idea of leaving the Net for a while seemed even more appealing.

Joss Whedon is one of my favorite screenwriters/directors. His female characters — hell, all of his characters — are my favorite portrayals of human beings (and some non-humans) on-screen. To have such animosity directed at him over one film just blew me away. I mean, I can understand the trolls were being trolls and some of the die-hard comic book fans were angry or disappointed about how their favorite fandom was “ruined” in some way. I saw Avengers: Age of Ultron. I loved the film, but even without having read the comics, I could see how the most fanatic of comic book readers would want to argue about it. Because they always argue. Film is a different medium than graphic art. Scenes aren’t always going to work on film the way they do on the page. But that’s another post for another day.

What really got to me wasn’t the trolls or the comic book fans, but the militant feminists. I can understand being disappointed with the lack of Black Widow merchandise available and how she was depicted in the film in certain scenes (although, I still think she’s the most bad-ass Avenger around and I loved her portrayal, personally), but I can’t understand the rage. The sheer rage. The sheer INFANTILE rage over a movie. These feminists called Joss all kinds of names on Twitter and said some awful things to him, claiming he’s no longer a card-carrying member of their group, because of this one. Freakin’. Movie. One movie that he didn’t have complete creative control over. I think they may have forgotten that he didn’t make the film on his own. There were studio heads above him telling him how to do things too, how to make the movie “better”. Although, my idea of “better” and Hollywood’s idea of “better” don’t always sync up, and I’m fairly certain Joss feels the same way. Yet, he had to endure the brunt of the feminists’ (and trolls’ and fans’) ire. He has since said that he didn’t leave Twitter because of the backlash. He left because the Internet was getting too loud and he wants to concentrate on his writing. Honestly, I don’t blame him for that.

But that was only the beginning.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted this article on his Facebook page. I didn’t have the time to read the essay that the professor wrote, but I read the article, and I just sat there thinking, I don’t think I want to be a feminist anymore.

I know. That’s silly. I’ll always be a feminist. I’ll always promote and root for gender equality, for reproductive rights for women, for equality for anyone who feels disenfranchised, because that’s who I am. That will never change.

What has changed, I think, is society’s definition of what it means to be a feminist … or at least, Internet society’s definition. It seems to me these days that in order to be associated with certain groups, you have to be loud and crude and downright hostile to other people, even those who have obviously agreed with your sentiments before, but may have suddenly done something you disagree with. “No, you’re wrong, and here’s why …” seems to be the mantra of the day. You can’t be considered as such-and-such unless your beliefs align EXACTLY with the group’s mindset and mentality. Basically: “All MRA’s hate women.”; “All feminists hate men.”; “All GamerGaters are chauvinist harassers who believe GamerGate is about ethics in journalism.”; “All SJWs are shallow brown-nosers.” Etc. etc.

As much as I agree with feminism in general, I can’t consciously agree with today’s version of feminism, or at least that group of feminists who would take one look at me and rip my Feminist Card apart right in front of my face. I’m a stay at home mom who chose parenting over a career in which I could have made an income independent of my husband. Why? Because my husband and I agreed that one of us should be as involved as possible in our boys’ lives, and with my his erratic, time-consuming job as a physician, the lot of full-time parenting naturally fell on me. But I CHOSE to do it. I chose to stop working, so I could play an important role in my sons’ lives. That, right there, would probably drop me points in the feminist category according to some of today’s feminists.

Also, I enjoy occasionally baking and I love to sew, two very traditional “womanly” occupations, although sewing has become a very chic hobby of late for both genders, what with the rise of cosplay and the maker-crowd. But still, I’m sure there is someone out there ready to shout, “You’re not a feminist! A true feminist breaks down stereotypes! A true feminist doesn’t become one!”

Okay, I’m over generalizing here, but isn’t that what all of the Internet noise truly is, just over-generalizations? Isn’t that what’s happening when we read something, and think, “Well that person can’t be a feminist, because s/he believes such-and-such or said such-and-such or did such-and-such.” Why can’t I be a feminist AND enjoy being a full-time parent? Why can’t I be a feminist AND disagree with these people who raged at Joss Whedon over the choices he made (or, the choices that were made for him) in his film? Why can’t I be a feminist AND disagree with how that professor was treated after she wrote about feminism? Maybe I don’t disagree with everything they’re saying, but I definitely disagree with how they’re saying it. And if that’s what it means to be a feminist — to shout and name-call and threaten and rip people’s lives apart because they did something I disagreed with, something that didn’t exactly fit my belief system — then I don’t want to be one anymore.

Yeah, I think Joss had the right idea. This Internet is getting a bit too loud for my taste.

Maybe it’s time to go play with my boys.

Thanks for reading. Trust me, there’ll be more here to read later.

Eventually.

A. Cook

Filed under: feminism, kids, parenting, self-published novel, trolls, Uncategorized, vacation, writing Tagged: comic book fans, feminism, feminists, Joss Whedon, self-doubt, Self-publishing, summer vacation, trolls, Twitter, writing

Hey, Troll! Does Your Mom Know?

Yesterday, I got trolled.

Now I concede that, even at almost 38 years old, I’m still slightly ignorant of certain functions of social media. I can’t remember when or why I decided to make my posts on Google+ public, but I did. Normally, if anyone comments on those posts, they’re friends or acquaintances, and I’ve never had more than one or two people “+1″ my pics, the Google+ equivalent of “liking” something.

But a few days ago, I posted this:

 

along with the caption: “Welcome to the newest member of our household: Skye, the Hamster.”

At the time of this writing, the number of +1s on my innocuous photo of our new little bundle of joy was 133, and I have no idea who almost all of these people are. Apparently, members of the Google+ community like them some cute pics of furry animals.

Along with the +1s came the comments, because of course people wanted to comment on the adorableness of our new pet. Some even gave a bit of advice, which was helpful. We’ve never owned a hamster, and caring for a hamster is not the same as caring for a cat or a dog.

Then yesterday, out of the clear blue, for no other reason than to be an utter … I don’t know, I can’t come up with a good enough description … a random troll wrote this comment: (Warning: Bigoted Language After The Jump)

WHAT A FAGGOT

At first, I just stared at the words, wondering if (and then, realizing) it was some kind of sick joke. A couple of well meaning young ladies further down the thread commented about the fact that whoever this person was who decided to be a troll was doing it wrong. I had to agree with them. Sure, I would have expected such a comment if I had posted something about GamerGate or MRAs or White Supremacists or any other groups who have organized themselves with the purpose of attacking and/or marginalizing others. But this wasn’t the case. It was just a picture of a hamster.

I also know from others’ experiences online that YOU DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS. Instead, I reported his/her ass using Google+’s handy “Report This Comment” function. (I will make no assumptions that this person is a male, even though s/he used a male-sounding name in his/her fake account name. It very much could be a male, given that it seems most trolls are from the male persuasion, but it could also be a female. You never know. I don’t.)

The comment has since been deleted — by Google+ or by the original poster, I do not know. However, being the curious person I am, I decided to click on his/her username, which was mentioned in one of the replies of another poster, one of the well-meaning young ladies. (I know. I shouldn’t have clicked on it. I’m the same kind of person who knows not to read the comments under certain anger-filled, finger-pointing articles, and yet I do. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s just to observe the train wreck from afar.)

I’m not going to descibe what I found on this person’s account, but … wow. Just. Wow.

Later, I told my husband, and he had the same reaction as I did after I reported the comment: if only we could have told that troll’s mom on him/her.

I’m a mom. I have two young sons. They’re not old enough to have social media accounts. I monitor their YouTube and Netflix-watching habits as much as I can. (Thank God for YouTube Kids.) When my oldest son plays Minecraft, he plays offline. Any other online games, especially those on our tablet, are played against the computer or have no chat function available when playing with other people. Anonymity, at least on our end of the Tubes, is the order of the day. I do all of this for many reasons. Mostly because I want to keep my kids safe as much as I can, but also because I know they are not mature enough to deal with the shadier, more malicious side of the Internet.

The troll who decided to attack the photo of my hamster yesterday — s/he did not attack me; I will not give him/her the honor of that privilege — attacked it anonymously. I have no clue how old s/he is. Judging by the comment, I would have said a tween or teenager. His/her words (and lack of punctuation) had that same ring of maturity level behind them. But when I went to the poster’s account, all notions of age and maturity flew out the window. I had no clue. The posts on his/her account were angry, vicious, racist. I didn’t scroll down very far before I had to close the tab. I kept wondering, Who is this person? Why is s/he so angry at the world?

 And where is his/her mother?

Everyone has a mother, whether biological or adopted or foster. I know many children never get adopted and many live on the streets without parents, but everyone came from someone. Everyone has someone in their life who is/was responsible for their care, responsible for teaching them how to treat other people. Where are the parental figures in these trolls’ lives? Where are the women (or men) who had the responsibility of teaching these misguided souls manners and decency? Where are the people who should be stepping up and saying, “Look. I know you’re angry. I know you want attention, but this is the wrong way to go about it. Just because you’re miserable, doesn’t give you the right to make others miserable, too. You have a choice of how you make people see you, you know”?

Because the truth is for the troll, it’s all about getting attention. It’s all about making others see him/her. Yes, I’m well aware that I’m calling out my singular troll just by writing about him/her, which is probably what s/he wants. And maybe I should be giving him/her attention. Maybe that’s what s/he craves. Maybe that’s what s/he needs.

I just finished John Green’s achingly beautiful novel, The Fault in Our Stars, and one of the main characters’ biggest fears is of oblivion. He wants to be remembered for doing some grand, heroic gesture and never quite gets around to it. I think that maybe this is what all the trolls’ hate-filled, bigoted, sexist, whatever-ist language is all about. They fear oblivion. They fear they’ll be forgotten. They fear losing the attention they so desperately crave, because maybe they’re not getting that attention from their mothers or fathers or siblings or spouses or from anyone. But on the Internet, they can rail and whine and scream and get attention, and their words last forever. Oh, comments may get reported and deleted, but somewhere, hidden among all the 1s and 0s, the words live on.

Words hold power. Read any fantasy book and you’ll see what I’m talking about, especially when spells are involved. Words have the power to build up or tear down. They can make us laugh or cry or scream or think. They pull us in or push us away. Written or spoken, they hold power. (Funny that when my kids are angry or scared about something, I tell them to use their words.)

And that’s what the trolls want. That’s what the GamerGaters want. That’s what the MRAs want. That’s what the White Supremacists and all their ilk want. That’s what any group of people with the same mindset and agenda wants over the groups who don’t share their mindset and agenda. They want power. And even though many of them already have a modicum of power and privilege, they don’t want to share it. They want to keep it for themselves. They observe the world changing all around them, and they’re not ready to change with it. They’re afraid.

They’re afraid of oblivion.

A few hours after reporting my troll’s comment, I watched a video of a mother in Baltimore pulling her son away from a riot. She had discovered him throwing rocks at police along with a group of other rioters, and she pulled him out, slapping him and yelling at him, telling him to get back home where he belonged. I don’t condone beating children for any reason, but then again, I don’t know that I wouldn’t have reacted as Toya did if I caught my sons doing the same thing. There is a time to be mad and frustrated with the world, and I understand the frustration that young man had, but violence — whether physical or verbal or written — is never the answer. Toya was scared for her son, and I don’t blame her. I would be scared for mine too.

I would also be angry as hell with them, because I’ve been trying to teach them to choose words — respectful words — over violence. I want them to grow up to be compassionate, respectful young men who understand that other people, regardless of their race, gender, ability, whatever, have a right to live their lives without fear of violence or the repercussions of hate and ignorance. I want my sons to understand that humans make mistakes, but that violence in any form is not the answer. Violence only begets violence. Hate only begets hate. And until we realize that the only way to solve our problems with each other is to sit down and have a civil discourse about them — no name-calling; no talking over others; just listening and hearing what the other side has to say and compromising when necessary, then, moving on with life — the violence will continue. The violence of words will continue, until we’re all left wondering how we got to where we are, going nowhere but in a circle of words.

So, my dear troll, I want to ask you: Where is your mother? Where is that figure in your life with the responsibility of caring for and raising you? Where is that person who reminded you of the Golden Rule? I know s/he is out there. Maybe you’re old enough to be on your own. Maybe your mother figure has long since passed. Still, there has to have been someone in your life who once looked over your shoulder and said, “Um, yeah. That’s not how we treat other people. Try again.” Because I want to believe that somewhere deep down you know what you’re saying and doing is hurtful and hateful. I want to believe that one day you’ll regret your hurtful and hateful words and actions. That one day, you’ll truly see the humans on the other side of your Veil of Anonymity.

I want to believe this, because I fear a future filled with hateful, hurtful people. I fear a future that’s lost its humanity.

I fear a future without mothers.

And now that I’ve said all this, let the trolling begin. (Civil discourse is always welcome, but I reserve the right to delete hurtful and hateful comments and report your ass, because I’m a mother and I care about you and the other people commenting here.)

Thanks for reading.

(Even you trolls.)

A. Cook

Filed under: kids, parenting, trolls, Uncategorized Tagged: GamerGate, hurtful and hateful comments, kids, mothers, MRAs, parenting, trolling trolls, trolls, trolly troll trolls, White Supremacists

Time Flies When You’re Making Art

Actually, time doesn’t seem to fly when I’m writing because I’m such a slow writer.

Regardless, I’ve been MIA lately because I’ve been busy working on the sci-fi novella I wrote in 2013 and then handed off to an editor earlier this year. The editor, Bree (who is wonderful, by the way), sent back an in depth critique that intimidated me for about a day — enough time for me to see the story that needed to be written. And that story was finally written. It took eight weeks, but it did indeed get written. Now, the manuscript’s back with Bree so she can do her wizardly editing magic. Meanwhile, the first of the short stories I wrote in November as a prequel to The Golden Orb is with the editor for that novel, Holly (who is also wonderful, by the way), so she can do her wizardly editing magic, too. Huzzah for wonderful, brilliant women who help make my stories better!

While words are being read and cut and criticized, I’ve been catching up on other life things, like taking a much needed vacation with my family. The vacation actually happened before the novella rewrites were finished, but it was still much needed. Being forced to be screen-free for a week because of lack of affordable wi-fi and no cell reception did wonders for my head space. I came back home refreshed and ready to finish that novella!

(We went on a Disney cruise, by the way. I highly recommend it if you ever get the chance. Disney knows how to do vacations, especially if they include fabulous food, excellent entertainment, and beautiful beaches.)

 

One of the few pictures of me from the entire trip, because I’m generally the family photographer.

 

The other photo taken of me along with my oldest and a certain swaggering pirate. He called me “Love”. Swoon.

 

My youngest in the ocean. That’s what pure joy looks like.

 

One of those moments that can only be captured in the morning on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

 

The other thing that’s taking up my time — besides being a mom and a wife and a friend and helping organize my local moms group and helping at my sons’ school — is my sewing. I just started working on a retro-style dress for a friend, which was put on hold during the novella rewrites. The pattern was chosen because I wanted to challenge myself as a seamstress and see if I could make a garment for someone else without doing a fitting first. Once the dress is done, I’ll move on to a few costumes I’m planning on cosplaying at a couple of conventions. Here’s a sneak peek at two of them:

Can you guess what book/TV series this costume will be based upon? Four words: Scottish historical fantasy romance.

 

I was so excited to find this vintage suit (from the 40’s) in a thrift store in my hometown. And it fits.

 

This is going to be worn with the suit above. Can you guess who I’ll be? Hint: a Marvel agent. A bad ass Marvel agent, at that.

 

So that’s all I have for now. I’ll try to have another update soon on the sci-fi novella and the short stories. The plan is to post the short stories here or on another website in serial form, eventually putting them together in an anthology. As for the sci-fi novella, I hope to self-publish it, but I’m not sure when that will happen. I’m waiting to find out what Bree has to say after she’s done with it and what kind of revisions the manuscript will need. And if I’ll feel confident enough to publish it at all.

In the meantime, thanks for reading.

A. Cook

 

 

 

The Soundtrack of My Soul

I love music.

I love to listen to it. I love to sing to it. If the occasion arises, I even like to dance to it. Sometimes, I don’t even mind if a certain song or melody gets stuck on repeat in my head. Like right now as I listen to Coldplay sing “A Sky Full of Stars” just to me. (It was one of the last tunes to pop up on my playlist as I mall walked this morning. Yes, I mall walk. Don’t judge.)

I also love to watch movies, but even more than that, I love listening to the soundtrack playing behind the scenes as I’m watching. (Unless there is no soundtrack, which can sometimes do more for a scene than music can. For example, the soundtrack to the Harry Potter films has become iconic and is very connected to the film franchise. If you hear just the first few bars of the franchise’s theme music, you know exactly what you’re about to see on screen. However, in the last two films, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 and 2, there are scenes–quiet scenes, scenes of desperation–during which no music is playing at all. While watching these films, I’ve found the lack of music not only disconcerting, but also a scene strengthener. The audience must engage with the characters’ emotions through the lighting, the scenery, and the actors’ faces and voices alone. There is no music to help us feel what we’re supposed to feel. It’s downright haunting and one of the reasons I love those films so much.)

As a child, I watched a lot of movies, especially musicals. I spent numerous hours singing “Tomorrow” and “Maybe” from Annie–mostly to myself. I had a cassette tape of the complete soundtrack to Disney’s The Jungle Book that I would listen to for hours on end. In elementary school, I was picked to sing the first line of lyrics from An American Tail‘s theme song “Somewhere Out There” to a huge gymnasium full of people. Even with my transition to pop music as a teenager and classical music in college, movie and musical soundtracks still held a special place in my heart, and they continue to do so today.

As an author, I sometimes lose myself in wondering what soundtrack I would create if the piece of writing I’m working on at that moment were ever adapted to film. There is already a growing playlist of songs on my phone entitled “GO Soundtrack”, a list of music that I would love to have playing throughout an imagined screen adaptation of The Golden Orb. Yes, I know it’s usually not the writer or screenwriter’s job to choose the music for films, but a girl can dream (or become a film producer, thus being able to make some of those more important decisions, like creating the soundtrack). Just to give an idea of the type of music I like and what I think would work well for The Golden Orb, here is a list, in no particular order, of some of the songs I’ve added to the Golden Orb Soundtrack playlist:

–“Please Stay” and “Soul Swimming” by Beecake, an up and coming band, whose lead vocalist is none other than the very talented actor (and singer) . Many people know him as Pippin from the Lord of the Rings franchise. He gave us a taste of that luxurious voice of his in The Return of the King when he was asked to sing for the Steward of Gondor. What many people may not know is that Billy actually wrote that short melody for the movie and was then asked to write another song, called “The Last Goodbye”, to play over the credits of the final film of The Hobbit trilogy. All of Beecake’s music is amazing, but the two particular songs I listed have certain lyrics that echo some of the themes in The Golden Orb. In “Please Stay”, the protagonist of the song says, “You say we should walk when it calls/Just move on don’t stop, or you’ll fall”, which could describe Gabby’s fear of abandonment and her difficult relationships with others. In the main chorus of “Soul Swimming”, Billy sings:

“I feel the doubt ripping strips from my heart.

While my imperfections they threaten to tear me all apart.

Somebody help me, is there someone out there?

Someone console me and show me that you care

Because I’ve dived too deep and I’m trying

I’m tryin’ hard just to breathe.”

I feel like Gabby struggles with doubt a lot in The Golden Orb, and near the end of the book, she literally has a hard time breathing.

–“Drive” by The Cars, an oldie that reminds me of my childhood listening to 80’s rock in the car with my parents. The entire song is filled with questions (mainly, “Who’s going to drive you home tonight?”), and it fits perfectly with the scene near the beginning of The Golden Orb when Gabby must rely on Lucas for a drive home. Plus, the entire song speaks volumes about Lucas’s willingness to take care of Gabby, even though she continually tries to push him away.

–“Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane. There are two lines in the song that immediately made me want to add it to the list: “I came across a fallen tree” and “Is this the place I’ve been dreaming of?”. They fit so perfectly with my book, either describing particular scenes or just conveying the mood of the fantasy setting. Also, “So why don’t we go/Somewhere only we know?” describes Gabby’s occupation as a Fae Agent to a tee.

–“Fix You” and “Paradise” by Coldplay. I’m such a fan of Coldplay. I love both their lyrics and their offbeat music. These two particular songs could be thought of as the basic heart of The Golden Orb. Their lyrics and overall sound have a haunting, fantastical mood that’s perfect for the Fae Realms and Gabby’s many struggles.

–“Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence. Basically, the whole “Wake me up inside” chorus of the song is a description of the climax of The Golden Orb, when Gabby is sort of awakened in a rather violent, but meaningful way.

There are more songs on my list, but these are the first that come to mind. I just finished revising a science fiction/speculative fiction novel recently, and it’s being sent to beta readers and an editor as I write this post. While waiting for it be reviewed, edited, and commented upon, I’ve been thinking about what songs might go well with its imagined film version. Coldplay and Beecake are already on the top of the list.

And as for the musical score of The Golden Orb (or any adaptation of my work), I would ask my friend to compose for me. As part of the core of The Dead Gentlemen crew, Steve composes the music for most of their productions. He has a wonderful ear for the dramatic as well as the fantastic. Just listen to the soundtracks to The Gamers: Hands of Fate (especially starting at 8:53 of episode 13) and JourneyQuest, and you’ll understand what I mean. I once told him that if I ever needed a soundtrack for my life, I’d have him write it.

As for my life anthem or the song I would want playing over my final credits, I think it will forever be “Let it Go” from Disney’s Frozen.

Now that you’ve had a glimpse of my music playlist, what are you listening to at the moment? And if you could put together your own film soundtrack, what songs would you choose?

Thanks for reading (and listening).

A. Cook

Twelve Days ‘Til Christmas “Buy for Charity”

 

It’s December 13th, which means Christmas is just twelve days away! Santa’s coming! Santa’s coming! Hooray!

Can you tell I’m excited?

In the spirit of the Season of Giving, I would like to play Santa myself to those who are less fortunate than me. From now until December 31, 2014, all royalties received from my book, The Golden Orb, will go to two charities of my choosing — one in my local community and one that helps those in need around the world.

The first, Shalom Community Center, is an organization that was created to help the homeless in my hometown. It is “the only safe, daytime resource center in Monroe County for people who are living in poverty and experiencing its ultimate expressions: hunger, homelessness, and a lack of access to basic life necessities”. Shalom provides those in need with shelter, food, social services, and even showers and laundry facilities. I have visited the center twice in the past to drop off donations from my mom’s group, and the number of people being helped there is truly astounding. Every little bit from the outside community helps Shalom help those in the most need.

The other charity to which I would like to give is Heifer International, an amazing organization fighting to end world hunger and poverty. (Catching a theme, here?) Heifer does this by providing families in need with livestock and/or farming implements along with the education to care for their animals and land, thus creating a sustainable living through the profits they receive from the meat, vegetables, wool, etc. they produce. One proponent of Heifer International is to empower women living in poverty worldwide, from helping them to launch their own small businesses to sending their daughters to school. I have been giving to Heifer at Christmastime for a few years now, and I will continue to do so, because I believe in their mission of empowerment through sustainable living.

So, dear readers, I’m asking for your help. If you feel either or both of these charities are worth a bit of your time and money, please take a moment to go to http://acooksbooks.com/buy-the-golden-orb/, and buy a copy of The Golden Orb, either for yourself or a friend. Or, if you already have a copy, please share this post on all your favorite social media sites. It doesn’t matter if you buy a hardcover or one of the eBook versions. ALL of my December royalties will go to Shalom and Heifer, divided equally between the two. I’ll keep track of sales throughout the rest of the month, and after the New Year’s celebrations die down, I’ll send out a check (or PayPal payment) to each of the organizations.

Thanks, in advance, for your support and for reading. Happy holidays, dear readers.

A. Cook

Why I Write

Even though I’ve been writing seriously–as in, other than just for myself–for about six years now, I’ve always enjoyed writing. I chalk it all up to one beloved elementary school language arts teacher, Mrs. Hall, who asked her fifth grade students to write their own stories and critique them in small groups. I remember that mine was all about how my family spends Christmas together. It wasn’t Pulitzer material, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. Since then, I’ve written down words in some form or another through journaling, research papers, poetry, blogging, or even Facebook and Twitter. Yes, I do count those as writing. Tiny outbursts of writing.

So, why do I do it? Why does anyone do it? Yes, writing’s a form of communicating our thoughts in a concrete way, but why do some of us go the extra step? Why do we create whole worlds with just our words? Why are we content to be stuck in our own heads for a while, emerging hours later with pages brimming with our characters’ adventures? Where does that itch to write come from?

I’m not a philosopher, and I can’t answer for the rest of the world’s writers, but I think I’m beginning to understand why I do it, why I feel the need to create in word form. It’s a means of escape for me, much like reading or watching movies or even sewing to an extent. It’s almost a zen thing, although quite a bit of concentration is involved, so it’s not completely meditative.

Funny that I say that. Generally, people want to get out of their own heads when they want to escape. Escaping means not thinking, or at least, not worrying about anything. Escaping means bliss and ignorance of what’s happening around themselves. Escaping means white sandy beaches and crashing ocean waves and warm salty breezes. At least, to me it does. So, why would I go chasing my own thoughts?

Because it’s another way for me to ward off the shadows, a kind of self-therapy if you will. This time of year is especially difficult, when the sun hides behind snow-laden clouds and darkness comes too early and stays too late. When we’re stuck inside where illness loves to play, bringing colds and pneumonia and stomach bugs to render us useless and listless. When our holiday expectations are always too high, and we end up disappointing someone yet again, whether it be our kids, our spouses, other family members, or even our friends. When we’re reminded everywhere we turn that the world is a harsh place to live in, and will you please give of yourself to those in need this season? (That last bit I do wholeheartedly. I know how lucky I am to have the life I do, to be able to fritter away on my laptop every chance I get. And every chance I get, I try to remember those who aren’t so lucky.)

So, while others might drink or immerse themselves in the Internet (I like to do that) or read or watch TV (love to do that, too) or do whatever it is they like to do to escape, I write. I write to free my mind of the characters waiting to have their voices etched in digital stone. To free my head of the plots and schemes ready to be fulfilled, the settings impatient to be designed and constructed. I write to free myself of my own anxieties, because as I write, a little piece of me gets left behind in my words. Sometimes, they’re obvious, and sometimes they’re not. Sometimes, they’re just the gray of snow-laden clouds or the dry brown of dead winter grass.

But other times, they’re the bright turquoise of the Caribbean sea as white gulls glide over, rising on gentle updrafts.

And that’s when you know I’ve truly escaped.

So, dear readers, what do you like to do to escape? If you like to write, what kind of writing helps you break out of your own head?

Thanks for reading.

A. Cook

And The Winner Is …

Woo Hoo! I won! I did it! Yaaaaay! *cue blast from confetti gun and rain of glitter from the sky*

Okay, maybe I wasn’t that excited when I validated my word count last week and discovered I had surpassed the goal for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short (because it’s so much more fun to say). I was definitely relieved, though. The last four days of the month could have been spent padding that word count, but after six stories–a couple of which are probably closer to novella length–I was done. 52,560 words and six new stories out of my head and on my computer. Yep. I’ll claim that as a victory for the year.

Winning at NaNoWriMo isn’t exactly like winning a race or Jeopardy or even a hot dog eating contest. There isn’t a massive audience cheering you on or huge prizes waiting for you at the end, although winners do receive nifty digital badges to display all over social media as well as discounts on writer tools and software. And I don’t know a whole lot of people who celebrate hard after the month is finished. My writing group has been known to have T.G.I.O. (“Thank God It’s Over”) parties in the past, but those usually involved hanging out at our local Barnes & Noble sipping coffee in the cafe and discussing what we were going to share at future meetings. Still, it was a great way to wind down from a month of hard work.

And I do mean HARD work. Yes, I spent most of the month lounging in our comfy recliner with tea at hand and my laptop nestled upon my knees, but there was definite work involved. It was just invisible to the outside world, all of it occurring inside my mind until I could form it into readable words. There were plots to devise, characters to build up and tear down, settings to design. Plus, because I was writing short stories based in worlds I already created in The Golden Orb, I needed to go back to what I had previously written to check for continuity. Boy, was that tough. It made it even more difficult to remember the NO EDITING AT ALL FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH rule of NaNo. I found myself going back to previous days’ work, changing things here and there to make certain I hadn’t inadvertently opened up a major plot hole in The Golden Orb, a book I do not plan to rewrite. Ever. Yes, November’s work can all be “fixed in post”, as my filmmaker friends like to say, and it will be revised eventually. But knowing my brain, if it’s not already written down, I’ll probably forget it.

So, that was my November. I managed to write while having strep throat, tackling an intimidating sewing project, getting my kids back and forth to school, and single-mommying it for about a week while my husband was away at a conference, and I still hit the goal for the month.

Seriously, dear readers. If I can do it, anyone can do it, and I encourage anyone to try, because it is an amazing creative outlet that just might lead to a publishable novel someday.

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo this year? If so, let me know how you did in the comments below.

Thanks for reading (and writing).

A. Cook

Where Did September Go?

It’s been a while since I last updated the blog.

Normally, here’s where the obligatory apology goes, but you know what? I’m not going to apologize for being silent. Over the past several weeks, this little space I’ve carved out for myself on the Internet has been the furthest thing from my mind. Between being sick (twice in a matter of weeks; once during Gen Con even, which made for a fun con this year), having a sick husband and sick kids (we’re pretty sure our youngest had that nasty enterovirus thing), and being on call for jury duty for the ENTIRE month of September, I’ve had a lot on my plate.

(Speaking of jury duty, I’m one of the lucky ones who’s been summoned three times so far, in three different cities no less. I’ve only had to appear once, and I actually sat on a trial and deliberated and everything. That was when I was younger and didn’t have any children. Being a stay-at-home-parent with a spouse whose job has erratic hours and doesn’t allow him to just leave at the drop of a hat makes being on call for jury duty a whole new level of heart attack-inducing stress. I didn’t have to appear at all, but having to wait to call the jury line almost every single night to find out if I needed to make arrangements for my kids almost drove me insane. Being sick for half the month and having sick kids as well didn’t help my anxiety either, and I felt terrible that I couldn’t plan a bigger birthday party for my youngest. Still, it turned out fine, he had fun, everyone was happy, and I got through the month. End of rant.)

So, yeah, if you’ve been reading this blog — and THANK YOU if you have — and have been wondering what I’ve been doing, that’s about it. I have been writing and am almost done revising the short science fiction novel I started last Mother’s Day. It should go out to beta readers in another week or two, especially if I can crack down and finish revisions during my kids’ Fall Break.

As for NaNoWriMo, I think I’m going to revise my plan for the month, partly because of September’s awfulness and partly because I’ll be traveling two weekends in a row in November and am not sure how much writing I’ll get done during that time. So, for now, the sequel to The Golden Orb is being put on hold until I can write the “prequel” — the short stories detailing Gabby’s first jobs in the Fae Realms. Using NaNoWriMo to finish those shorts will be a better use of my time than trying to hash out a 60,000+ word first draft. That can wait until I have more free time and the ability to do a little editing as I go, creating a solid first draft that should allow me to publish the finished book in less time than it took me to publish The Golden Orb. I hope.

That’s all I have for now. Hopefully, in a few weeks, a short story will magically appear here instead of another update. Trust me, the wheels have been turning, and I’m really excited to jump back into Top Hat’s crazy little schemes.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

A. Cook