Amanda Cook's Blog, page 6

Making Art in Times of Crises

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I’m kind of done right now, folks.

Mostly, I’m angry and frustrated and sad. At individual people. At the world in general. At myself. I tend to hide it well, but the roiling writhes deep.

I’m not going to name names. I’m tired at everyone blaming everyone else. I’m tired of feeling like there’s no hope of changing minds, that every day there’s a fresh new horror to deal with. That my friends and their families and countless other people across the globe are experiencing crises and situations I could never understand, no matter how much I try.

I told my husband last night that I want to be out on the “front lines” in some way, but I feel like I can’t because our boys still need me alive and unarrested. “But maybe my lily-white ass just needs to stay out of it anyway,” I said, because really, mine isn’t the voice that should be among those leading the charge. Because there are people more qualified than me to tell it like it is. Because I’m in constant need of checking my privilege.

What was it Anansi the Trickster said in the Starz version of “American Gods”?

“Angry is good. Angry gets shit done.”

Except when it doesn’t because you’re so freaking overwhelmed you don’t know which shit needs to get done first.

I guess I’ll #MakeArt instead. That’s something I know I can do, even when I’m tired. Especially when I’m tired.

Here. Two poems I wrote while sitting on the beach this summer:

 

By the Sea Reading L. M. Montgomery, July 21, 2017, Folly Beach, SC

Jade steel raiment brushes azure hat above,

Cream sugar socks rolled to its ankles.

It bends its neck, touching its floury feet,

Pirouettes, its tragic shoulders enveloped in silk foam and salt tears.

Curses.

Howls.

Nips

At the soles of those who dare tread its powdery toes,

Crossing its threshold of rot-filled pain.

It roars at the feathery clouds, anxious

For its bride hiding behind starlight,

She who, clad in ebony velvet,

Waxes and wanes with her love.

She throws her fickleness upon her beau like the beacons ornamenting its feet,

Her white, pockmarked face.

Beau, sensing her near,

Offers up diamonds and curtains of frothy lace,

A veil to hide her visage when she’s particularly shy or moody.

Every evening, it reaches for her,

Leaving life

And death

In its treacherous wake to appease a greedy goddess.

And every evening,

She glares down her nose,

Except when she hides

Sullen-like

Behind the star’s shadow

Where she waits

For her beau’s vehement offerings,

Mute.

Their dance continues to the break of day.

 

Top,

 A Conversation with My Son

The world is like a spinning top, he told me,

Eyes hazel and sparkling with eleven years of dreams.

It must stay balanced.

He shows me with his tanned fingers

Erect as tiny soldiers on his open palm.

If it tilts

Just a little one

Way or the other,

His fingers wobble

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

It falls.

And we’re all doomed.

We all fall down.

 

Thanks for reading. Go out and make art today if you can. Get shit done.

A. Cook

Filed under: poetry, Uncategorized, writing Tagged: beacons of hope, get it done, make art, poetry, prose poetry, rambling, sotired, tired, writing

Post Gen-Con, Almost Autumn Post

The summer has flown by and autumn is almost here. Our annual family vacation to South Carolina happened in July, my oldest son turned 11 years old (!) at the beginning of August, school started for both my boys, and both Gen Con 50 and an eclipse happened. It’s taken me several days of getting back into the swing of things (and getting over con crud, which I seem to still have) to feel like writing anything of worth.

Really, this is just an update to let you know I’m still alive, as these things tend to go anymore. I will say that I received my copyeditor’s notes right before we went on vacation in July and worked on my last round of revisions and fixes as soon as we got home. It took me about a month, which is the fastest I’ve ever revised a full-length novel before. My copyeditor now has the final draft of When We Were Forgotten in her capable hands. Once she’s finished working her editorial magic, I’ll get to work on the interior layout, pick a trim size for the printed book, and upload the mf-er to CreateSpace.

At Gen Con, a well known fantasy author advised me to check out a certain publishing house that likes feminist science fiction. I’ve thought about submitting my manuscript to them, but after three and a half years of working on the story, I just want to get it out to all you lovely readers. I’m tired of waiting on other people to tell me it’s not what they’re looking for at this time, and I’m not ready for someone to say, “We like it, but it needs this and this and this before we’re willing to publish it.” Plus, I love the cover my friend, Devin Night, did for me. So, look for the print version of the novel to be published within the next month or so. EEEEKKK!

I think a round of pictures taken at Gen Con would be the best way to liven up this post. Here ya go:

My version of Castiel from “Supernatural” was well received on the Friday of the con, and my friends and I had so much fun cosplaying the Scooby Gang in Victorian/Steampunk fashion on Saturday (I was Daphne, swathed in so much purple satin). I also spent four hours on Friday playing one of my favorite games (Marrying Mr. Darcy) with one of my favorite authors (Mary Robinette Kowal) for charity (Worldbuilders). All in all, it was the best Gen Con experience I’ve ever had . . . and not just because of the awesome costumes this year.

I’ll let you all know when the next book is released.

Until then, thanks for reading . . . and waiting.

A. Cook

Filed under: cosplay, fantasy, Gen Con, sci-fi, self-published novel, Uncategorized, updates, writing Tagged: cosplay, costumes, editors, fantasy, feminist science fiction, friends, fun, Gen Con Indy, Harry Potter, Indianapolis, novel, rambling, science fiction, Self-publishing, soon, travel, updates, writing

Get The Golden Orb For Free!

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The Golden Orb Cover Copyright (c) 2014 Devin Night, http://www.immortalnights.com

In honor of both my 40th birthday and America’s Independence Day, I’m running a free promotion on the Kindle version of The Golden Orb for the next five days. Click here to get your free copy and enjoy some light fantasy while you soak up the sun during your upcoming summer vacation or over a lazy weekend at home.

On a writing-related note, When We Were Forgotten, my new speculative fiction novel, is currently with a copy editor getting all polished up and ready for publication. I’m hoping to have it out by the end of the summer. Check back here for an update on its release!

As always, thanks for reading!

A. Cook

Filed under: free promotion, self-published novel, Uncategorized, updates, writing Tagged: ebook, fantasy, free promotion, Kindle, new adult, novel, Self-publishing, summer reading, updates, writing, young adult

When Moms Play…

I’m dealing with the quintessential convention hangover today: tired, but the good kind of tired; missing all the wonderful people I saw, met, and hung out with; checking all the social media platforms for posts about the con to relive every moment as much as possible. No con crud (that I know of) yet, which is good. I’m bummed it’s over, but so happy to have had the experience.

A little context for you: almost a year ago, after my friend (and fellow mom, writer, and cosplayer) Rhonda and I had finished and worn our “Once Upon A Time” costumes to Gen Con, we discovered a company called Creation Entertainment was going to throw a huge convention devoted entirely to our favorite show. Our mutual friend, Meagan (also a mom, writer, and cosplayer who happens to love the show too), jumped on the bandwagon with us, and we decided to have a much-needed girls’ weekend in a Westin hotel in Chicago. That weekend just happened. It was glorious.

I can barely string two words together today, so I’ll let all these photos I took tell the story of our time together.

It was the best, most epic of times. We saw so many incredible costumes and met the loveliest people. All the actors from the show had thought-provoking, fun Q&A panels. And the karaoke night and concert were both super amazing. I’m running out of superlatives. Anyway, as if you can’t tell, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

For now, this mama needs a little break.

Thanks for reading.

A. Cook

Filed under: cosplay, fan convention, fantasy, Once Upon A Time, Uncategorized, vacation Tagged: Belle, Chicago, cosplay, costumes, fairy tales, fan convention, fun, Girls' Weekend, Granny, Happy and Grumpy, Hook, lots of pictures, Once Upon A Time, OUAT, OUATchi, Prince Eric, Princess Jasmine, rambling, The Evil Queen, The Wicked Witch, travel, updates

Update: I’m Still Here

 

Wow. It’s June. We’re halfway through 2017 already, and I haven’t been on the old blog in almost six months. So, what’s been happening in my little corner of the world?

The biggest news I can share is my science fiction novel – the one I’ve been working on for the past three years and counting – will not be traditionally published. On May 30, I received a rejection letter from the publisher I submitted my manuscript to way back in January. They said my novel is not right for them at this time. I’m both disappointed and relieved. This means I can self-publish as I had originally planned, and I won’t have to change a thing (except grammar mistakes) because the subject matter might not “be right” for the publisher’s audience. I’m currently waiting to hear back from a copy editor. Once the manuscript is polished and to my liking, the final book will be released into the wild. Hopefully, it’ll be done by the end of the summer, but that will depend on copy editing, formatting, and uploading everything to CreateSpace/Amazon.

Another big thing: my husband and I bought ten acres of land at the end of March. It’s a beautiful lot that backs up to a development, and it’s all forested, which means, once our new house is built, we’ll feel like we’re living in the middle of nowhere while still being a few minutes from our closest neighbors and the rest of civilization. We’ve already chosen the building site – in front of a lovely limestone ravine – and yesterday, we met with our builder and a draftsman to start working on house plans. This is a huge adventure for us, one I wasn’t sure we’d ever experience. It’s been fun, so far, with only a few minor hurdles to jump. We’ll see if it’s just as fun a year or so from now when we’re waist deep in construction. In the meantime, this is what we get to look at when we visit:

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Besides not being traditionally published, my only other disappointment for the year is we’re not going to Great Britain for my birthday. The new property took a large chunk of our savings, and although we could still make the trip, I’d rather save the money and use it toward the new house. Plus, there’s a lot of uncertainty around relations between the United States and Europe. I’m not sure it’s the right time to be crossing the big pond. One day, we will cross it, and it will be glorious.

We may not be going to England, but 2017 will still be the Year of Travel. My family and I already spent Spring Break in Washington, DC, as these photos will attest:

And in a couple of weekends, we’ll be back in DC to celebrate a cousin’s high school graduation. Next weekend is Creation Entertainment’s Once Upon A Time Convention in Chicago. Two of my best girlfriends and I will be attending the con together for a moms’ weekend away, cosplaying as Snow White, Regina, and Belle from the show. There will be panels and photo ops with the show’s cast. It’s going to be epic. And, of course, we have our annual family trip to Charleston, South Carolina in July.

Oh, I almost forgot. We got a new dog.

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Our poor little hamster, Skye, passed away the day we closed on the new land. The boys were devastated and immediately wanted a new pet. Since we’d been talking about getting them a dog for a long time, we decided to take a look at our local animal shelter. There’d been no plans to bring home a puppy right away, but it just so happened little Chewie was at the shelter waiting to be loved. He’s a Chihuahua/miniature pinscher mix, eight months old, and feisty. I’ll be enrolling him in puppy school soon.

I think that catches you all up to what’s been happening at Chez Cook since January. Despite looking forward to some relaxation, it’s still going to be a very busy summer for me. I recently joined a local chapter of NOW (National Organization for Women) and hope to steer some of my frustrated-with-world-events energy into supporting causes dear to me, like reproductive justice. I’ll also be more involved in my sons’ school starting in the fall as I step into the role of vice president of the board of directors. And there will be Gen Con in August, and more sewing and writing throughout the rest of the year. Lots and lots of both, I hope. Perhaps more of the Golden Orb prequels will make their way onto the blog soon. I’ve been shopping them with my new writing group, and they’ve been well received.

But for now, I must go, because there’s a child’s birthday party and a high school graduation party to attend simultaneously. Fun times, ahead!

Have a great summer, dear readers! See you around the blog.

As always, thanks for reading.

A. Cook

 

Filed under: cosplay, Gen Con, housebuilding, kids, nature, new pet, parenting, sci-fi, self-published novel, Uncategorized, updates, vacation, writing Tagged: blogging, cosplay, crazy busy life, Gen Con, housebuilding, new land, new pet, NOW, Once Upon A Time, parenting, science fiction, Self-publishing, sewing, summer, travel, updates, vacations, writing

This Post Has No Title … Or Answers

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“Homecoming (Bluebirds)” by Charley Harper, Cincinnati, Ohio

*Warning: Possible Rambling Ahead. *

Yesterday was the Women’s March on Washington, although it wasn’t contained to DC. By the time I checked my Twitter feed at dinnertime, cities all over the world were filled with people marching in solidarity in the name of women’s rights and basic human rights. It was moving to see all the photos and read the numbers of people who participated. I so wanted to join them.

Why didn’t I?

Oh, I had all kinds of excuses. There was a march in my hometown on Friday evening (Inauguration Day), but it happened during dinner and I wasn’t feeling well. Yesterday, it looked as though all of Indiana showed up to march for women in Indianapolis. I seriously thought of going, but I was afraid of getting lost in the crowd, of not being able to find my way back to my car, of what might happen if the march grew violent. Etc. Etc. Etc.

So, where did I end up? Hiking around a ten acre lot with my family and our realtor, trying to decide if it might be a good building site for our future home.

Yes, that’s right. While people were marching for the rights of women and the underprivileged everywhere, I was traipsing around in the woods, wondering how many trees would need to be cleared in order to fit a two-story house with a full, walkout basement and a bit of a yard. Trust me, I see the irony.

The guilt has been around for a while. It’s been making itself quite comfortable in my head for some time now.

My biggest excuse–the one I keep telling myself is my best reason for avoiding marches and protests–is my family. I’m a wife and mother, and I worry about what would happen to them if I were to get arrested or injured. But that’s really not a good excuse, because there have been countless women all over the world who have sacrificed themselves for the greater good. They didn’t put their families ahead of their fight for justice … or they did put their families first, because that’s what they were fighting for. Or maybe they didn’t even have a choice in the matter. Maybe they were just fighting to survive.

I’m sitting here on my soft bed in my comfortable home typing these words after millions of people risked themselves yesterday to show our new administration they will not accept who and what has been voted into office. I feel pathetic. I should have been there with them. Yes, I sent a donation to Planned Parenthood on Inauguration Day as my own protest, but no excuse should have stopped me from joining in yesterday.

And yet …

Today, my Twitter feed exploded with people praising the marches, but also reminding everyone it was only Day 1. There is still so much fighting to do. Several people pointed out how very few, if any, arrests were made. Several other people pointed out the low arrest rate was due to the majority of protesters being white women. Police policed differently yesterday because of racial bias. I totally got that. In fact, one of my favorite science fiction authors shared several tweets about the differences between the policing of the marches yesterday and the police brutality of past Black Lives Matter rallies. I, thinking I was extending some sort of … hell, I don’t know what I was trying to do, tweeted her the following message:

“I wanted to go to our local BLM rallies and Women’s March. Found excuses not to go to either (my kids, my health). Feel guilty [about] it.

Happy New Year!

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It’s January 12, 2017. A new month. A new year. And what have I been up to lately? Here’s a handy list:

Not long after my last post, I decided to quit Facebook. I’ve dropped in occasionally over the past week, but I’m still not on it a lot. It was a good decision to quit at the time. My levels of stress, depression, and anxiety diminished considerably without it in my life. Quitting had a lot to do with the presidential election and some of the incredible stuff showing up in my timeline. All the anger and sadness and fear on one side and the victorious smugness on the other. I couldn’t handle it, so I became a snail, curled into my own little shell. It was nice. It still is. I’m keeping up with things, but in my own way. Okay, mostly through Twitter, but that site doesn’t seem to affect me the same way Facebook does/did.
I had two suspicious moles removed in December, one on my arm, the other on my collarbone. Tests on both came back benign. Whew.
Back in October, I saw my obstetrician to have my Mirena (an intrauterine device, or IUD) removed. My husband and I are done with having kids and have taken the proper steps to make that choice permanent. However, the Mirena has been so convenient over the years. While on it, I never had to remember to take a pill every morning. I stopped having monthly cycles. There was zero cramping or stress about remembering to have pads in my purse. Truly, it was a dream. I had one inserted after my first son in 2006; it was easily removed in the office a few years later, so I could have my second son in 2010. I had another Mirena inserted soon after he was born. Although FDA recommendations may be changing as I write this, when my second IUD was put in, I was told it should come out in five to six years, when a new one could be inserted if I wanted. It’s been over six years. I saw my OB in October, and she tried to remove it in the office. Standard procedure, but it didn’t happen as it should have. The little piece of plastic had embedded itself in my uterus and just didn’t want to come out. Afterward, I spent some time waffling between going back into the office to try to have it removed in a slightly different way (with no guarantee it would come out and enduring more pain in the process), or just putting me under with general anesthesia in the hospital, hoping my body will relax enough to release it from my uterine lining. I chose the latter. The procedure happened this past Monday. It was outpatient, fairly quick, no pain at all, and I was told the IUD came right out. I’m glad I did it. Will I get another Mirena? We’ll see. Maybe having a monthly cycle again will nudge me in that direction, because it was so convenient before.
The holidays came and went. We ended up staying home on Thanksgiving, because my poor husband got sick and my van needed a piston repaired. On the other hand, Christmas 2016 was probably the least stressful holiday I’ve ever experienced, and that’s saying something. We managed to see almost all our family in the span of two weekends. There was some traveling involved, but we also had family at our house on the holiday, which was nice. We invited friends over for our annual New Year’s Eve gaming party. Lots of party games were played that evening, and we managed to extend the party (after everyone got some sleep) into the following day.
 I was invited to join a new writing group. It’s small, and I’ve attended two meetings so far. Everyone is lovely. They even liked the short story (one of the Golden Orb prequels) I shared with them, which I hadn’t touched since 2014. Which leads into:
BIGGEST NEWS EVER: I AM DONE WITH REVISIONS. Let me scream that aloud again, in case you didn’t hear it right. I AM DONE WITH REVISIONS ON When We Were Forgotten! (Also, see image above.) It took me a long time to finish this last round of edits. I had several moments of doubt, of wanting to bang my head against a wall trying to get the ideas to come together, of wanting to just quit. With help from both my editor’s notes and a friend of mine who had great ideas regarding certain technology in the story, I was able to finish … the day before I had my outpatient procedure (#4 above). Because, I thought, if I’m going to go under for this procedure, I should probably have the book done the way I want it. That way, if something should happen to me, I’d have one less thing to worry about. It can be published in it’s current form, and I’d be content. A bit too morbid, perhaps? Perhaps, but I’m sure I’m not the only writer who’s had thoughts like that. Which leads into:
The book will be published some time this year, hopefully within the next six months. I’ve been thinking about finding a copy editor to make certain it’s polished. I already have a cover, so once it’s exactly as I want it, I’ll go through the whole Createspace publishing process. I have a friend who can do the ebook formatting for me, so it’ll probably be in print version first. Or I may wait until she’s done, so I can release it in all formats at once. I had the thought throughout the revision process of querying agents to shop the book around to more traditional publishers, but … eh. I think I just want to get it out into the world. It’s taken three years, off and on, to write. I don’t want it to take three more years to be read by people other than me and my editor and my beta readers. In the meantime:

I have several short stories to revise and post here on the old blog. One should be up soon, so look for that.

Cosplay ideas for Gen Con 2017 are coming along nicely. Pattern drafting may be involved this year. My Evil Queen/Regina cosplay from last year will get another wearing at a “Once Upon A Time” Convention in early June, too.

I turn 40 in late June, and the only thing I want for my birthday is to go to Great Britain with my husband. London, actually, and the surrounding areas. Plans are already in the works for that. It’s a big request, but something I’ve always wanted to do.

I’ll continue to work on our school board this year and next. I may even do some volunteering around town or get a part time job when my youngest is in elementary school. Unless this whole writing thing pans out. Who knows?

We may move to a new house this year, or we may buy a lot and start building. It’s all up in the air at the moment. Big changes, though.

And I think that’s it for now. There will be more happening as 2017 rolls along, but that’s the gist of what’s going on in my life. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are enjoying the beginning of the new year as best you can. Thanks for your continued patience as I slogged through my own writing process. I promise, this will be the year another book comes out! And soon!

As always, thanks for reading.

A. Cook

Filed under: cosplay, election, Gen Con, holiday greetings, kids, sci-fi, self-published novel, short story, Uncategorized, updates, vacation, writing Tagged: blogging, cosplay, editors, games, gaming, Gen Con Indy, goals for the year, Great Britain, Happy New Year, holidays, IUD, kids, London, medical procedures, Mirena, motivation, Once Upon A Time, publishing, school, short stories, updates, vacation, writing

My Little Safety Pin

From Wikipedia:

“The safety pin is a variation of the regular pin which includes a simple spring mechanism and a clasp. The clasp serves two purposes: to form a closed loop thereby properly fastening the pin to whatever it is applied to, and to cover the end of the pin to protect the user from the sharp point.”

Begun in the UK in reaction to the increase in discriminatory behavior against immigrants and other minorities after Brexit, the wearing of the safety pin is a signal to those who are most vulnerable that the wearer of the pin is a safe person to sit with, talk to, be around. The wearer of the pin is a “safe” ally, a “safe space.”

Today, I fastened a pin to my sweater and a pin to my coat, because it was a layering sort of day, and because, being a seamstress, I have all the pins. It’s a simple gesture, but one I plan on doing for as long as necessary, until we find a way to come together as a country, as a world, as the human race. My little pin will let others know that I am an ally, their “safe space,” and I will “fasten” them with love and light whenever they need it.

My little pin sits close to my heart, a simple reminder to be kind. To be compassionate. To listen. To empathize. To connect. To bring peace whenever possible. To protect others from the sharp sting of hatred and bigotry.

Maybe in my lifetime, my little pin will go back to holding up the strap of a dress. But only when it’s no longer needed to help hold someone together with love.

Have courage. And be kind.

Thanks for reading,

A. Cook

Filed under: empathy, kindness and understanding, racism, Uncategorized Tagged: ally, be kind, bigotry, empathy, hatred, have courage, kindness, love, peace and understanding, safe space, safety pin

What I Have Learned

I went to bed last night with a headache from grinding my teeth and keeping the tears at bay. I’d already cried a little when my state’s election results were posted earlier in the evening. Of course, I shouldn’t have been surprised. My state has almost always gone to the Republican party. Still, I had hoped my voice was heard a little. (It had been heard in local elections, but again, that wasn’t a surprise. The city I live in is a tiny blue dot amidst a sea of red.)

This morning, I woke up with a stomachache and more news that the Republican nominee for president won. I have been since trying to keep more tears at bay. This blog being my safe space on the Internet, I felt it was the best place for me to purge some of my fear and doubt.

Mostly, I want to make something clear.

There are people close to me who wanted change, and they believe the person who will be our next president will give it to them. I grew up in a small, blue collar, predominantly white, conservative town in the middle of a mostly blue collar, conservative state. I understand where my close family members and friends are coming from. Life has been tough for them recently. The economy has failed them. They are done with career politicians and the Washington elite and the status quo. They want change. Again, I understand where they’re coming from. So, why am I so disheartened this morning?

Because the candidate they believe will bring that change ran on a campaign full of hateful rhetoric and bigoted speech. A candidate who demeaned women to their faces, who promoted sexual assault with his very words, who disrespected People of Color and Muslims and Jews and members of the LBGT+ community and people with disabilities. He brought out the worst in our country. And (dare I say it?) the worst in some of my loved ones.

Maybe they don’t feel the same way as their soon-to-be president. Or maybe they don’t believe everything he said during his long campaign run. Maybe they only voted for him because they thought he was being funny or that it was all just talk. That he couldn’t be serious. They’re only words, after all. When he becomes president he won’t do any of that, but he will Make America Great Again. Maybe that’s what they believe.

But those words of his, they’re words that hurt. They are words that cause pain. They are words that hold promise, just has much as the promises he made to bring more jobs to the country and make the middle class stronger.

I woke up this morning frightened for my friends of color and in the LGBT+ community. And (dare I say it? Me, a white, cis, upper middle class woman?) I am frightened for myself and my family. I am frightened that he has normalized bullying and sexual assault. He has normalized hate speech. He has normalized hatred for diversity.

My husband is an OB/Gyn. It wasn’t so long ago that physicians in his field were being shot and bombed because they were just trying to give their patients the care they wanted or needed. Not so long ago, one of my husband’s former coworkers would wear a bulletproof vest into the clinic where he worked sometimes. Things have changed a little since then, but not by much in the state we live in. With this new normalization of bullying and hatred, there may come a point in time when my husband and his coworkers must choose to wear a bulletproof vest when going to work. When they must kowtow to laws that strip women of their reproductive rights. When they must make the choice between giving up their Hippocratic Oath to do no harm or putting their patients’ lives and health above their own.

You may think I’m joking. I can’t possibly be serious, you say. That can’t possibly happen in 2016. But it did happen in the not so distant past. And in the more recent past, when certain laws were being bandied about the state capitol building, it almost happened again, which means it may very well happen in the near future given our current climate.

So, to my friends and family who are hoping for change: I hope you’re right. I’m going to try to give your president a chance. I love you, and I hope real change comes of this election for you. Real, positive change.

I just hope it doesn’t come to the detriment and expense of the rest of us.

Thanks for reading, and remember: Have courage, and be kind.

A. Cook

Filed under: election, empathy, kindness and understanding, racism, Uncategorized Tagged: change in all forms, election season, human rights, LBGT community, peace and understanding, PoC, positive change, trying to be empathetic, women's rights

In Between Times & Ocean Poems

I’m writing this blog post when I should be mowing the lawn or cleaning the hamster tank or a million other things that need to be done after returning from an out-of-town vacation. I had been mowing the lawn, but now I’m writing this post instead, because two bees stung me (or one very angry bee stung me twice), and I panicked and called 911.

In 2004, I’d had an instantaneous allergic reaction to a bee sting. My face and tongue swelled. My arms broke out in hives. It wasn’t pretty. Because of that reaction, I carry an EpiPen with me where ever I go, including when I mow the yard. I haven’t been stung since.

Until today.

I saw the bees buzzing through the grass as I pushed the lawnmower around the front yard, but I always see bees this time of year. They don’t frighten me much anymore. What I’m sure I saw were harmless bumblebees; I didn’t notice their angrier brothers until one or two of the yellow bastards decided they had had enough of me in their territory and jabbed me through my sock.

There wasn’t the immediate tang of metal in the back of my throat or the feeling of things swelling up (except my ankle), but I decided to make the call anyway. The Dispatcher and the EMTs were all very kind and helpful. The EMTs checked my vitals as I sat outside on the front steps while my boys sat inside distracted by screens. Truthfully, they’d been distracted since before I started mowing. I have a feeling they never actually heard the words bee or sting or ambulance when I yelled about my predicament from the kitchen. That’s perhaps for the best. Mama got stung. It wasn’t a huge deal this time. Their world goes on like nothing happened.

I, on the other hand, am full of Children’s Benadryl (it’s all we had) and have an ice pack on my extremely painful ankle. We’ll see if I can stay awake long enough to finish this blog post.

As I said, we were on vacation last week. We went to our usual family vacay spot: Isle of Palms, South Carolina, a barrier island just outside of Charleston. It was mostly relaxing with lazy days spent on the beach, evenings spent eating tons of fried seafood, and the occasional Pokemon hunt. (My husband and I joined the gleeful masses on Pokemon Go. We love the game. I’m Team Blue, by the way.)

Here are a few pictures to prove we were there:

That image in the bottom left hand corner is of a worker from the aquarium in Charleston helping three juvenile sea turtles find their way back to the ocean. We were so lucky to have the opportunity to watch such an amazing event unfold. The sea turtles had been taken in by the aquarium and nursed back to health from various injuries. Since they had grown to a certain size, and thus, are better able to steer clear of predators than if they had been hatchlings, they were released in the morning in broad daylight. It was an awe-inspiring sight. Later that afternoon, I was stung by a jellyfish as I was making my way out of the ocean and back onto the beach.

Nature. It’s beautiful, until it isn’t.

And I think I feel the Benadryl kicking in.

Anyway, my family is sort of in a weird “in between time.” We just got back from vacation on Saturday and unpacked, only to have to repack for Gen Con Indy, which starts on Wednesday, August 3. My husband and I will be there on our own for the first few days, playing games, attending panels and workshops, and celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary. Our boys will be joining us on Sunday. At ten and five years old, we’ll see how they handle being surrounded by approximately 61,000 people trying to live and play in the same one to two mile radius.

If you happen to be one of my readers and will be attending Gen Con as well, feel free to say hi if you see me. From Thursday to Saturday, I’ll look like one of these people:

After Gen Con, school starts up again for my sons. They’ll both be in school all day this year, so my plan is to get right back into revising When We Were Forgotten. I had hoped to have the novel published by now, but such is life. The upcoming days of silence in the house will be a big motivation for me to just get the thing done already.

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a poem I wrote in my new birthday journal while on the beach watching the tide roll in. And then, I will shut my eyes and take a little nap, I think, because Benadryl.

Chalcedony Secrets

Where polished chalcedony meets milky quartz, the clouds whisper without words to the roaring, gray-green waves. They’re angry, those waves tinged with cloud-jealous foam. Eventually, their raging subsides to soft shushing against the flour beneath my curling toes.

A bold breeze brings salty caresses, children’s laughter, the cries of calling gulls overhead. It blesses my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, my tongue, each new gust beating at my ears. The thrumming of incessant drums. The rhythm of my heart. Eventually, the wind subsides, leaving me to contemplate the sea’s secrets.

That’s all for now. Have a great end to your summer break (if you get one), and I hope to see you at Gen Con Indy 2016!

Thanks for reading.

A. Cook

Filed under: cosplay, gaming, Gen Con, kids, nature, poetry, Uncategorized, vacation, writing