Kern Carter's Blog, page 71
December 3, 2021
December 2, 2021
Editor Picks — Our Favourite [Interviews]On CRY
Image by: KPG_IVARYAnother week, another round of editor picks. We have so many stories to choose from, so this week we’re taking it back to our favourite interviews. Yes, we used to do interviews on CRY (we might bring it back next year). Anyways, check out our favourite interviews and let us know what you think. Also, let us know if you want to see more interviews.
KernSo I’m going to cheat a little bit and choose two interviews instead of one. My first favourite is Kayla Greaves from InStyle Magazine. She’s a bit of a big deal as far as editors go, but she’s so real that I forgot I was interviewing her. Our conversation was smooth and free-flowing and Kayla was open and honest with her answers. My favourite part of the interview:
“I just don’t have time to be fighting people on social media. Like I just want to watch 90 Day Fiance and go to sleep, quite frankly.”
My next favourite part:
“And I think people are kind of forgetting that opinions are not facts. Especially when we have people who are becoming legit celebrities on platforms like Twitter. And if you disagree with such person, then you’re wrong, you’re trash. I think that’s very dangerous.”
The other interview I really enjoyed was with Publisher, Olivia Taylor Smith. She gave us insight into what authors need to know about pitching manuscripts. Running her own indie imprint, Olivia gave useful and actionable advice about pitching publishers:
“Editors and agents will always notice when writers have done their research. Take your time, and instead of only focusing on whether your work is right for someone, make sure that the press or agent you are querying is also going to be a good fit for you. It works both ways.”
And when asked about how much weight publishers give to an author’s platform, here’s what Olivia had to say:
“Having a network of support is essential especially as book promotion has moved online for the foreseeable future. Being engaged with a community, whether through writer’s groups, an MFA or workshops, or activism and community involvement, is very important. Know your local bookstore and booksellers, you can still engage with them online while stores are closed. Share book recommendations and be a part of the eco-system because we are all in it together. I think social media is less about the amount of followers you have but how you are using it, and if you are using it correctly by being genuinely supportive of other writers and the literary community, the amount of followers/contacts will grow.”Safia
I absolutely loved connecting with Visual Artist and Author, Reyna Noriega. Between the vibrant images she creates that powerfully showcase women of colour, the community of followers she has cultivated online, and several brands she has partnered with, I was curious how she got started. In our interview, she talked about the leap she made from teaching to full-time artist and shared advice on how to make a living as a creative.
My favourite piece of advice:
My suggestion for making money off of art is a little unconventional. I say, don’t focus on the money. Focus on building character, building trust, building your skills, your confidence and building your worth.
Another great part:
As a creative, my hardest challenge was thinking that my work had to be based on my pain and on experiences that were rooted in trauma. I realized that I could also touch on struggles that I went through, but it didn’t have to be the basis of what I created. There was a time when I felt that people only related to struggle — the heartbreak, the failures, the pain and things like that.
Check out more of our interviews on CRY.
[image error]Editor Picks — Our Favourite [Interviews]On CRY was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
To When You Were:
Poem manipulated digitally by the author.To When You Were:
It’s the sudden remembrance
of forgotten promises
made
when you wouldn’t
.
.
The times spent
unsure
of how the future
played out
.
.
With an icy jolt to the core
of who you are
Or rather, were
Friend or foe, who was to know?
.
.
[image error]To When You Were: was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
December 1, 2021
“meet me happy; leave me happy”
Photo by Aaron Barnaby on UnsplashMy partner likes to repeat this phrase to me:
“You meet me happy; you will leave me happy!”
I know, because she has explained before, that she doesn’t mean it the way I take it; but that doesn’t stop it from bothering me.
I don’t know if it is logical efficiency talking or my emotional inadequacy. Perhaps both. In either case, it begs the question:
My emotional self is screaming, “I would be devastated if you leave me; how could you be happy?”
My logical self is opining, “If my presence does not make you happy, then why am I here?”
What she means is that I shouldn’t stay if I am only staying for her. She will be okay no matter what I do. I should do what is best for me.
I get that and I’m okay with that. I would be okay, too. Okay in the sense that I would be emotionally disemboweled but functional.
Unfortunately, being the literalist that I am, I can’t get past the word choice. Happy. I suppose I could take to looking at it like:
I met her happy
I made her happier
I leave her happy
That way my presence made a difference, even if it’s just an “er”.
I don’t consider myself insecure but this particular phrase just plays whatever insecurities I do have like a fiddle, every time. It’s not so much that I want her to cry over me. I think about my death often and I have no feelings towards whether people miss me or not (see my piece about the phrase, ‘I miss you’).
I think it is because she means so much to me that the thought that I’m just an ‘er’, makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. I know I’m not inadequate within myself; but, maybe, I’m inadequate for her. She deserves an epic kind of love!
I know she loves me and that I do make her happy; but she deserves more than just ‘er’. She deserves ‘est’!
I suppose even then my departure will still mean a reversion to happy. So maybe it is a mute point. I have no plans on leaving her now or anytime in the near or distant future, but I suppose the statement can also infer that she leaves me. That terrifies me!
She often jokes that if she dies first, she will haunt me in my sleep. Honestly, I think I’d love that. But we aren’t talking about death as much as departure and now that I think about it, I wouldn’t want her pining after me, prolonging her pain, anyway.
I love her and want what’s best for her so, for her sake, maybe I should settle for being an ‘er’. Who knows? I might even make an ‘est’ out of it.
One can only hope.
© Ryan J. Pearce 2021
[image error]“meet me happy; leave me happy” was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
November 30, 2021
Hope, Actually, Is All Around
Photo by Matt Collamer on UnsplashWhen I read the news I feel as though there is no escaping humanity’s demise. I am no longer surprised by the negativity. The reels of natural disasters brought on by climate change, which our species caused. The constant barrage of hate crimes, war crimes, death, and destruction. As the saying goes, “Same shit, different day.” All of the doom and gloom fills me with dread. I feel defeated. Hopeless.
We humans have always been divided on anything and everything. But in this technological age of connection, we feel more divided than ever. For example, I am friendly with my neighbors. While we chat in the driveway of our homes, the kids frolic around us. We laugh together, connecting on our common ground of parenthood, weather, local sports, or school. You know, “safe” topics. Then, inevitably, we become Facebook friends. That’s how I learn that my driveway friend voted for Trump. Yikes.
It’s not that we are learning secrets about people, but rather we are learning things about them all out of order, and in such an impersonal way. I’d much rather talk to my Trumper friend about politics in person. She may roll her eyes at the futility of it all, and explain about picking between two evils. Something a meme on Facebook could not convey. Or maybe not. Might be, she is a super fan of his. If I learned this in person, I could speak to why I am a super not-fan of his. There might even be a mutual respect between us. Instead of a Me vs. Her agenda. Sure, it would be uncomfortable, but not any more uncomfortable than avoiding her because of a stupid meme she shared a year ago.
I follow a few “good news” accounts on Instagram. Such as Upworthy, Good News Movement, and Wholesome Meets The Internet. I like to supplement stories of love and humanity into my daily feed. Perhaps this is my privilege, but rarely have I encountered someone who was rude or mean to my face. In those rare occasions that someone was rude or confrontational, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt. They could be having the worst day of their life. You do not know what shoes someone is walking in.
As a former Pediatric ICU nurse, I have been with people on such days. As unbelievable as it seems, the world keeps spinning. They have to grocery shop, pay bills, eat, and fill up on gas just like the rest of us. The most profound thing one of my former patient’s parents said to me was: “When you cherish what you have, you honor what I have lost.” They do not want you to help them. They want you to love the shit out of what you already have.
Speaking of terrible days, I do not watch cable news anymore. Like my fellow Millennials, I stream everything I watch. The only time I consume news is through social media. I know, I know. It’s not the most reliable place to get your news, but hear me out. I have actively sought out news outlets that have consistently polled as unbiased. I follow National Public Radio, Associated Press, and Public Broadcasting Service News. The stories they share are still full of gloom and doom, but at least I can count on it being factual. With as little a bias slant as American media can muster.
While I doom scroll, I come across feel-good posts by the aforementioned accounts. Every time, they fill me with hope. My heart swells. My eyes tear up. I cannot help it. Because deep down, we know, people are good. Especially in this season of cozy holiday tidings, I am all aglow. The Christmas movie that epitomizes that glowing warmth (in my humble opinion) is Love Actually. In the final scene, the narrator’s words voice over scenes of people meeting at the airport. He says:
“When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge — they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love, actually, is all around.”
I have an abundance of love in my life. If you look for it, you will see that we all practice acts of kindness, compassion, and love. And that, gives me hope.
[image error]Hope, Actually, Is All Around was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
