Kern Carter's Blog, page 116
July 10, 2021
July 9, 2021
It Can Be Hard to Handle the Fears and Doubts When It Comes to Writing
However, it doesn’t have to be
There are most days when I find it hard to write. I’ve been in a writing rut for the past two weeks. Am I dealing with passion burnout, my insecurities, or my doubts that I’m not good enough?
Every time I try to submit an application to writing jobs or submit pitches for freelancing work, the fears and doubts creep in and say, “Are you even good enough?” or “Are you even qualified for handling the tasks at hand?”
These two thoughts cripple me, not even to try to submit for fear of rejection or to get an interview thinking I have the job but find out they’ve chosen a more qualified candidate. I have handled rejection, but the fears and doubts seem more intense.
It’s hard when you’ve tried your best and written a great piece only to have it turned down. If anything, the rejections should keep me motivated to keep trying and learning more about being an efficient writer. For me, however, it has sent me to passion burnout.
What is passion burnout? According to this article on Theshineapp.com, “Passion burnout is when that quote — ‘do what you love…’ — goes totally haywire, and you end up dreading the thing that you fell in love with because of mental and physical exhaustion.”
In the pursuit of being such a great writer, I put pressure upon myself to keep going and going until I couldn’t. This tactic can cause anxiety and depression, and already having both illnesses, I wasn’t helping by making it worse. The fear once again took over about not making it and if I ever will.
I had my aim and motives all wrong.
I had to remember why I fell in love with writing. In the beginning, I didn’t write for an audience or to become a famous writer. Instead, I wrote because I loved expressing how I feel and to help others. Whether or not I made it as a writer didn’t matter at the time. So I wrote without fears and doubts and when those feelings did come, I’d, you guessed it, wrote about it.
I’m taking breaks from long writing projects to maintain my mental health and I’m starting to feel much better about handling my fears. Rejection is hard, but it shouldn’t stop you or me from doing what we love.
Getting over your fears is a part of the human experience and I won’t let it define me as a writer. Whether I get published or not or get full-time employment as a writer doesn’t matter anymore. What truly matters is that I’m enjoying the writing process and that I feel okay about it.
It Can Be Hard to Handle the Fears and Doubts When It Comes to Writing was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 8, 2021
Freelance Writers — This One Is For You
We want you to be your best, and that means having the resources to advance your skills and take advantage of opportunities to share your work. With that said, we want to share a couple of resources that can help elevate your game as a freelance writer:
One More QuestionOne More Question is the newsletter for freelance writers that won’t let you quit! This is a place for the resources and support you need to make it work as a working writer. Even when it’s really hard. From pitch calls to Q&As to essays on the writing life, you’ll have motivation and inspiration in your inbox 2+ times a week.
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Lit Mag NewsThe Lit Mag News Roundup is a bi-weekly newsletter intended to provide writers and editors with all the latest goings-on in the world of lit mags. Subscribers will learn about exciting new magazines, calls for submissions, job and fellowship opportunities, interviews with editors, grant opportunities, trends in lit mag publishing, as well as controversies, scams, and the occasional smidge of lit mag gossip.
These are two newsletters that we support and subscribe to ourselves at CRY. Trust us when we say they’re worth it.
That’s all for now. Till next time.
CRY
Freelance Writers — This One Is For You was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 7, 2021
July 6, 2021
Fear Has Secrets Too
By Joe Pearson on Unsplash.
Fear,
Is like the bully,
That only picks on you,
When his friends around.
Because he knows,
That after a while,
His scare tactics,
Become predictable.
Like the monkey on my back,
Or the shadow to my past,
You saw all the times
My chin dropped.
You saw all the times,
That I lost hope.
You saw the times,
I blamed myself.
So,
Of course,
You know,
How to keep my greatness chained.
Show me the things,
Nobody else knows.
Like how I still cry,
Over family I can’t get back.
And how running from heartache,
Burned me to the bone.
How I strived,
And failed,
Then called out to God.
Prayed for change,
Yet still felt lost.
You hold all the memories,
I try to forget.
You know all the battles,
I’ve fought.
But,
Fighting,
Has since,
Lost its style.
Surrender,
Is how I’m winning now.
I don’t resist,
Or think about what
could
be next,
My experience taught me,
That I’ll always be…
The greatest work,
I’ve ever shown,
Always came from vulnerability.
I don’t need confidence,
To show up authentic.
Courage,
Has always led the way.
So,
The next time,
You show your face,
You’ll be surprised,
When you’re embraced.
Because fear,
Is just my inner child,
Craving the reassurance,
That he’ll be okay.
Fear Has Secrets Too was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 5, 2021
Call For Submissions: How do you handle fear when sharing your work?
How do you not let fear control you?
We’ve all been there. Staring at a completed piece wondering how the world is going to react. We’ve written and rewritten that thing so many times that we can recite it by heart.
But it’s time to hit publish and you’re worried about the reaction. Or maybe we take a step back. Maybe your fear prevents you or makes it difficult to even get started. Whenever it kicks in, fear can be debilitating.
So how do you handle it? What do you do to alleviate your fear? Do you think a little bit of fear is healthy for a writer or creator?
NEW RULE:You can submit to this or ANY of our past writing prompts. Just scroll through our previous newsletters. They’ll be marked “Call for Submissions.”
Same rules still applyIf you’re already a writer for CRY, go ahead and submit.If you’re not a writer for CRY but would like to submit to this request, let us know and we’ll add you ASAP.Be as creative as you want in your submissions. As long as you stick to the topic, we’ll consider it.Just because you submit doesn’t mean we’ll post. If you haven’t heard back from us in three days, consider that a pass.Please reach out if you have any questions at all. If you are new to Medium, here’s how you submit a draft to a publication.
Call For Submissions: How do you handle fear when sharing your work? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 4, 2021
July 3, 2021
Anxiety Vs. Writing
For as long as I could remember, writing was a part of my life. I fell in love with writing in the first grade. It was my sanctuary as it gave me space to create what I wanted without judgment. I could bask in the limitless worlds of fantasy, magic, and creating different characters in my control. I breathed in these stories as if I was in the shoes of the people I created. As a kid, I was less worried about how well it would be received. It was mainly for the love of it.
As I approached adolescence, that feeling of passion started to subside.
A string of thoughts started to flood through my mind.
I began worrying about other writers, established or not. I worried about them being better than me in terms of skill and that nobody would bat an eyelash at my work. That I would never be good enough for any publisher. This does include all the list of requirements big-name companies expected of writers or if my work was even valuable enough.
I didn’t want anyone to think I was chasing after something impossible. It even more difficult when the people in my life were even doubting me. I was being told that it was hard, to begin with, or an unrealistic goal. To some, it only mattered if I was actively working a well-paying job. One particular comment from my teacher really stuck out to me. I remember them telling me to consider another career path or that the road ahead wasn’t going to go smoothly. It was a way to discourage me. The fear of their student becoming a starving artist in a world uncaring.
It became a battle between my passion for writing and my anxious state of mind. Some days I would procrastinate and let the fear consume me entirely; laying on the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. It seemed much easier than facing the deadlines ahead. Especially after a big writing project, my energy would decrease. Afterward, I felt as if I was a failure to everyone around me and they would hate me for it. I couldn’t break that thought of being rejected and told passive-aggressively it was horrible. It sounds quite cruel to think that about yourself.
But this is my reality.
I am not my mental illness; I know that for sure. However, it doesn’t change the fact that it is an imperfect side of me. It’s complicated when you choose a field in the arts and watch as everyone around you succeeds faster than you. Sometimes I ought to wonder if this was really the right choice. It worried me that I am in fact faking all the achievements I worked hard to rightfully own.
One of the most painful thought processes is staring vacantly at a word document.
I’m wholeheartedly expecting the ideas to flow through my brain. The motivation slowly turns to dust as whatever I start to type gets deleted several times. I second guess everything that is written.
Too cliché.
What kind of character speaks this way?
This idea feels as if I have stolen it.
None of this makes any sense.
I’d email a friend telling them in detail why this story or poem is a horrible idea to begin with. I would make sure my computer was out of sight. The thought of it in view made me believe the ideas would only become worse. I’d have a mourning period where I thought I could never craft a new piece together. I was possibly wasting every minute of my life not writing. Even if I took time to rest, reflect and spend time with my loved ones.
Then I learned that taking time is just as important as the writing itself. Sounds crazy to beginners. When in this situation, I must treat writing as if it’s a snake plant for example. As I own one myself, I must not overly water nor give it a lot of sunlight, as it takes a few days for the plant to absorb what it needs. If I tend to it every day, it will feel the effects of being overstimulated and grow poorly. Same with writing or any other kind of art.
Allow yourself to take breaks and the quality of your work will improve. Resting doesn’t mean you are lazy and having an anxious mind makes the process feel like a chore. Rest is necessary and I can’t stress it enough, even as creatives. It will be much easier to create all those spectacular things you dream of.
Anxiety is normal. But know that it isn’t forever. Even in my own dark space, it is temporary. As always, I made it on the other side. I promise you the view is beautiful.
Anxiety Vs. Writing was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 1, 2021
Your Only Competition Is You
Photo By Matthew PompeyHow To Deal With JealousyEveryone has been jealous of someone, whether they want to admit it or not. My experiences with jealousy have been out of frustration and entitlement. I saw other’s accomplishments and wished it was me in their place instead, not understanding the work, discipline or sacrifices needed to get where they were.
At first, my jealousy served as a motivator because I was constantly comparing myself to other creatives, which is a terrible idea because we all have different journeys. Some people receive validation for their progress earlier than others. As I started receiving validation for my work, I realized the people I was jealous of had merely fallen into their purpose earlier than me. Instead of focusing on my weakness, I leaned into my strengths. I focused on mastering what I was good at and saw my opportunities as preparation for the journey ahead.
I didn’t know what it took to achieve those accomplishments. I thought people just got lucky, and if I hung out with them, it would eventually expedite the process for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to work hard; I didn’t want to start over. I felt too much time had passed and I was looking for a shortcut. It wasn’t until I connected with one of my mentors and learned about her journey.
After she told me about all of her failures and expressed how nothing happens overnight, that’s when I realized there are no shortcuts on the road to success. I saw the people I was jealous of differently when I understood what it took to get where they were. That’s when my jealousy faded and when I realized that I had to work harder.
It took my mentor a decade to get where she is today, and when I look at the journey of Tyler Perry and Kenya Barris, I learned that it’s never too late to start over. There are no deadlines for what God has in store for us, and nothing that God has for us can be taken away. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. All the skills that we learn before fulfilling our purpose are part of the preparation of our journey. Understanding this is how I deal with jealousy. I look at my peers’ achievements as what is rightfully theirs and remind myself of that whenever I start feeling some type of way.
The people I was once competing with became my allies when learning from their mistakes. I saw them sharing their experiences with me as a way to minimize my mistakes and prepare me for the opportunities ahead. I saw anything that I wasn’t achieving now to prepare for when I was ready to achieve those goals.
You can’t manage something big unless you start small. I got over my jealousy by stepping my game up and focusing on getting better every day. I started investing in myself by researching. It consisted of reading, watching videos or asking people who had found success questions. This lead to my relationships with my mentors.
Everyone wants success, but no one wants to deal with the issues that success brings. Like happiness, success is a state of mind. You can find success in your growth both professionally and personally. Personal development is the most important, but it doesn’t get as much praise as professional growth because of what professional growth brings, e.g. money, fame, real estate.
The truth is everyone has the capability of achieving the same goals. We limit ourselves after we fail because we don’t look at those experiences as lessons. Our jealous moments are usually a result of stagnation, procrastination or lack of effort.
When you start putting in the work, there are many days of doubting and criticizing yourself. The obstacles you face can make or break you. How you handle them determines how long you last. The road to success is all about endurance. Whoever works the hardest and stays the most discipline reaps the rewards.
Your Only Competition Is You was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
