Daniel O'Brien's Blog, page 33

I've gotten to the point where I hear news about presidents getting kicked off of money and my first thought is "I wonder what Dan's opinion on this is?"

Great question. None whatsoever! When there was talk of taking Andrew Jackson off the $20, I got a bunch of messages and Twitter… “at’s,” from people who really wanted me to be outraged, like they would feel better (or more “right”) if I got actually mad along with them. A whole lot of “Sign this to keep Jackson on the $20, LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE″ petitions were sent my way.

And I just suuuuuuuper don’t care. Not just because it’s the future, which means I’m almost exclusively on checks and plastic cards and rarely actually handle physical money, but because it wouldn’t really make a difference to me personally who WAS on the twenty dollar bill. It’s not like every time I’ve looked at a twenty in my life I’ve thought “Mmm, yes. Jackson. The way it OUGHT to be.” My thought (if I had any) was probably “Mmm, yes, twenty dollars that belongs to me. This will be a fun afternoon, indeed.” 

I don’t care because there are ACTUALLY important (and fun!) things happening in the world and getting outraged over the face on the twenty is an empty distraction. It’s a really simple thing to get angry self-righteous about if what you’re looking for is an excuse to get angry and self-righteous without having to dig too deep or confront anything too real. Why would anyone, today, care that Jackson was on the twenty and hold onto it like it’s gospel, or like it represents America’s history? It’s meaningless. No one actually knows why Jackson ended up on the bill, those records are [i]gone.[/i] Historically, Lady Liberty has been on the front of the twenty. And Alexander Hamilton. And Stephen Decator and Daniel Manning, and I don’t even know who the crap those two are. In 1905, George Washington was on some twenties. Grover Cleveland was on it.

Andrew Jackson has been on the twenty since 1928. We still have people around today who were alive in a time when Jackson [i]wasn’t[/i] on the twenty.

[Also Jackson hated banks. Just hated ‘em.] 

Hahaha okay thanks Rorschach.

Hahaha okay thanks Rorschach.

Look how easily I was cut out of Fast Company’s write up on the show I created!

Look how easily I was cut out of Fast Company’s write up on the show I created!:

2ndguesscorrect:

gibblertron:

Here’s the original article.

And here’s my email to the woman who wrote it (’cause I don’t bow down to this kind of treatment and no woman should)

Hi Rina,
I have to say I’m pretty shocked at this article. Not only were my own efforts on the show totally left out of the narrative, so were…

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  GET IT GIBSON!

Balls.

Balls.:

nickkocher:

So two summers ago, I acted in a movie with a bunch of my best friends. It was called INTRAMURAL and it’s a comedy about the incredibly high-stakes world of Flag Football.

The movie screened at the Tribeca Film Festival last year and was subsequently bought by MGM. Which was great!

Except that…

taliabobalia:taliabobalia:my gramma really has a ronald...

taliabobalia:

taliabobalia:

my gramma really has a ronald reagan app on her phone

yes

Ronald Reagan didn’t shoot anyone for Jodie Foster. Your friend person who I am not interested in meeting has grossly misunderstood that specific event in history.

Jurassic Park: Muldoon's Company-Wide Email Following the Death in the Film's Opening

Jurassic Park: Muldoon's Company-Wide Email Following the Death in the Film's Opening:

patrickcassels:

To: all@jurassicpark.co.cr
From: robert.muldoon@jurassicpark.co.cr

G'day team,

Last night there was an accident at the velociraptor paddock and Geoffrey was eaten. I think we’ve been getting reckless around the dinosaurs lately, so I’m making the following changes to park protocol:

Do not…

Pat made a funny thing, but it also reminded (maybe for the first time in like twenty years?) that there’s a guy in the beginning of Jurassic Park who dies and I, as a child, on the spot, immediately believed that that guy was Muldoon’s best friend. I don’t know where this notion came from and there’s no evidence of it in the movie. But for roughly twenty years if you had asked me to explain the plot of Jurassic Park in detail, I would have said “Well in the beginning they’re trying to secure the raptor cages in like the middle of the night which to begin with seemed like a strange idea, and then the very smart raptors seize on an opportunity with a well-timed cage-charge. Then Muldoon’s best friend falls down and the raptors get him and his helmet falls off and he’s scared and Muldoon springs to action because they’re the greatest of friends. Like Muldoon got that guy the job because he couldn’t stand the idea of taking a job on this remote island away from his friend. And while their friendship is strong enough to withstand anything, Muldoon himself is not strong enough to save his friend.  We see his best friend’s hand slip away and we cross-fade to the next scene while ‘Shoot her’ echoes in the background. The guy never says ‘It’s not your fault, Muldoon,’ because it isn’t, but Muldoon will always blame himself anyway. We won’t see Muldoon again for a little while, but this explains why he spends the rest of the movie sad. He perks up a little bit when Grant shows up because he’s the first guy he can talk about dinosaurs with in a long time, but it’s still too soon to call them friends. Muldoon has a picture in his wallet of he and his friend playing soccer.” Past Daniel instantly made the opening of the movie more tragic than it needed to be. What a weird little guy.

Anyway read Pat’s thing it’s hilarious.

Agents of the Internet Apocalypse, Book Trailer

Agents of the Internet Apocalypse, Book Trailer:

wgladstone:

Please watch and share the trailer for AGENTS OF THE INTERNET APOCALYPSE. Then you can check out Chapter 1 for free and order yourself a copy!

Thank you, all.

cracked:“Again, it’s a drug that forces you to have erections...

cracked:

“Again, it’s a drug that forces you to have erections that are less sensitive than natural erections and could last so long it becomes a medical emergency. But most men prefer them to no erections at all.”

If Erectile Dysfunction Ads Were Honest

I wrote this thing.

Thoughts On a Tiny, Meaningless Moment from the Broadway Musical Rent

Mark: “I hear there are great restaurants out West.”

Roger: “Some of the best.”

You heard that, Mark? When did you hear that? How could that have possibly come up? You were having a conversation with a human being and you mentioned that a buddy of yours was moving to “out west” and they were like “Oh, there are good restaurants there”? “Hey my friend is moving across the country; you’re from there, do you have any advice?” “The restaurants are good.” “Thanks I’ll pass that hot tip along.” That’s a conversation you are claiming happened? And now you think it’s useful smalltalk? That this is a meaningful way to say goodbye to your roommate and friend? “I’m really gonna miss you, but I heard that there are good restaurants 3,000 miles away from here.” It’s empty. Even if you hadn’t heard that, it would still be a statistically safe thing for you to claim. The probability is high, is what I’m saying, that there will be great restaurants somewhere on the other half of the country. You should have done some research and provided a list of restaurants you think Roger will like, based on his interests.

When I moved from Jersey to California, my guitar-playing roommate printed out maps showing that there were no Dunkin Donuts in Los Angeles (at the time). He knew that information would be important to me, and he knew it would be better if it didn’t come as a surprise. And then he bought me a flask with a cozy that had little skulls on it. THAT is how you send off a roommate.

And Roger? “Some of the best”? Don’t say that. Don’t act like you know.

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