Charles Purcell's Blog, page 15

People of the world, please think twice about killing that friendly neighbourhood spider on your wall

I’m not sure how to address this subject without sounding like a dick, so I’ll just jump in and say it: people of the world, please think twice before killing that friendly neighbourhood spider climbing up your wall.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics doesn’t seem to keep any figures on whether spider killing is on the rise, but judging on a purely anecdotal basis – the basis by which all the best columns are compiled, from your local rag to the New York Times – there is a rash of arachnid murder going on in the bedrooms of Australia.

Like the one-punch hoon rampage, maybe this has been going on for a long time and we’re only starting to notice it because it’s being mentioned on social media. Or maybe it’s become a thing because acquaintances are sending out SOS messages on Facebook asking what to do about the huntsman that has just climbed in through the window and has them climbing the walls in terror.

These Facebook and email exchanges always seem to end the same way: with the unfortunate demise of the invading pest. Splat.

But without getting on a high horse or anything, I’d like to play the part of devil’s advocate (or spider’s advocate) and urge womenfolk and dudes everywhere to think twice about hurling an ugg boot towards that huntsman. (It always seems to be hunstmans for some reason – I never see money spiders around any more, presumably because I don’t have any money. Boom, boom. I’m here all week. Try the chicken.)

I want them to think twice about splatting that furry thing with a copy of the latest Vogue or Obscure Sports Enthusiast Quarterly. Because that spider is just as terrified as you. No doubt more so. You’re like a giant to him. He or she is as scared of you as snakes are of other creatures. (I always think snakes get a bad rap, too. I cringe when mongooses attack them on nature docos. Incidentally, what is the plural of mongoose? Mongooses? Mongeese?)

And any spider you encounter is likely harmless. It’s not going to crawl up the doona in the middle of the night and eat your face off. It’s going to be too busy acting like an eight-legged can of Raid, snacking on all the troublesome insects hanging around the house. Really, you won’t even notice it’s there, until it decides to scurry up the white walls at 2am in the morning. (Why do they do that? Because they’re wacky that way.)

In fact, I like to picture these spiders as if they’re cheeky little chappies with a twinkle in their eye (or eyes). You know, lovable scamps like those dogs with one black patch over their eye like you used to see in old-time movies or Ginger Meggs comics. I imagine them saying stuff like, “Hey, how are you going, buddy? Don’t mind me – I’m just having a little snack up here. I’ll stay out of your way. You just continue whatever it is you’re doing and I’ll continue doing my job cleaning your apartment of flies and stuff.”

Maybe they’ll wave an arm like they’re performing a salute or something. It depends on just how much I’m willing to anthropomorphise them at the time.

If I could, I’d turn myself into some type of arachnid Santa, visiting homes everywhere and gently remove spiders by getting them to climb on newspapers or broomhandles and then depositing them on an outside bush or in the backyard. But I can’t. I don’t have the power to visit every home in distress. I doubt Batman (or Catwoman) does, either.

And why do I give a shit? Aren’t there bigger problems in the world I could focus on? Why yes, there are. But perhaps we could start with this smaller one – one that could save a tiny life without too much grief.

Now if I could just convince people to catch rogue mice in opened bags of corn chips left by the bed instead of using traps. But that’s another tale.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

New This Week: Ghost Town, Contagion, Broken Circle Breakdown, Lions for Lambs, Winners and Losers S4, Hall Pass, Dark Skies, Mighty Joe Young

Originally posted on The Presto Blog:

New this week on Presto

Highlight for the Week

Ricky Gervais is a man with a Sixth Sense to see dead people – and they annoy him. Ghost Town is a supernaturally good time

You’ll never want to shake hands with anyone again. A star-studded cast catch the flu in Contagion

Season 4 of Winners & Losers sees the girls attempt to have it all – but can they?

Check out the full list below:

New This Week

The 13th Warrior

An exiled Arab ambassador joins a group of brave Vikings who are travelling home to confront evil aggressors. What follows is a brutal adventure full of breathtaking battle scenes.

The Broken Circle Breakdown

It’s love at first sight. Elise has her own tattoo shop and Didier plays the banjo in a bluegrass band, but when an unexpected tragedy hits their new family, everything they love is tested.

Contagion

This…

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Terrorist sharks will have their citizenship revoked, vows PM

Addressing the subject of a mass terrorist shark attack today, the Prime Minister promised that any shark taking part in such an event as a “sharknado” would have its citizenship revoked.

“The public reasonably expects to be kept safe from giant waterspouts that lift sharks out of the ocean and dump them onto city streets to menace innocent civilians,” he said. “To this end, any Australian shark found to be participating in a ‘sharknado’ will have its citizenship revoked. No such shark will be allowed onto our highways and byways to menace voters.

“I have consulted extensively with King Neptune and he was assured me that such giant maneaters will be required to remain in the cold depths of his realm.

“Our top aquatic lawyers likewise assure me that such legislation is not only feasible but necessary to keep the public safe.”

The PM is also pushing through “dual realm” legislation that will require other dangers from the world of fantasy and literature to choose which realms they will live in – those of man or those of fiction.

“For example, vampires such as Dracula will be required to remain in their castles at night and not assume the form of a bat, fly into the bedrooms of sleeping, comely virgins and feast on their virginal blood. Particularly virgins in marginal electorates.

“Nosferatus of any nationality will be strictly monitored under our new proposed laws.

“Zombies will be required by law to wear electronic ankle bracelets to monitor their activities. Once they complete their shifts in low-skilled, mundane and repetitive jobs in factories, clothing stores and supermarkets, they will be expected to return to their primary residence of deserted barn or abandoned prison. Under no circumstances will they be permitted to feast on ‘brains’, no matter how many times they beg in their distinctive, guttural moans.”

Other beings, both supernatural and magical, are expected to fall under the purview of the new laws.

“Werewolves will be required to either live in the city or the woods full-time … and report to authorities on days of the full moon. Nor will they be permitted to slink off into the forest, rip off their shirts to reveal rapidly hairing chests, and cry ‘awooo’.”

The PM said the public will have a role in policing such activities under a program known as “work for the ghoul”.

“Ghosts will have their passports to the physical world revoked if they persist in haunting voters. To this end, we expect to train young unemployed adults and dogs that solve mysteries to police ghostly activities wherever they find them, be it at abandoned themeparks, haunted hotels or sinister castles.

“Criminals found to be masquerading as ghosts – for ‘shits and giggles’ or as part of unneccessarily complex plots over revenge or valuable real estate – will be subject to stiff penalties, as well as having their disguises torn off of them in public.

“As a visual reminder that the government is hard at work keeping the public safe, these teams will drive around in vans bearing colourful, cartoonish, psychedelic patterns.”

The PM added that rarer creatures such as dragons, skeletons and half-man, half-Frankenstein abominations of nature will be dealt with “on a case-by-case basis”.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is now available on Amazon.

“You know nothing, Jon Snow:” Take the ultimate Game of Thrones quiz

Are your friends “raven” about your fan knowledge of Game of Thrones? Or, like Jon Snow, do you know nothing about George R.R. Martin’s fascinating world? Take our GOT challenge and find out just how well you know Westeros and its stars.

What song did they play at the “Red Wedding”?

a) The Eternal Duty of The Knights Watch

b) Wrecking Ball

c) The Rains OF Castamere

d) The Bear And The Maiden Fair

What is Tyrion Lannister the unofficial god of?

a) Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things

b) Tits and Wine

c) Dwarves, Drunkards and Unwanted Sons

d) Disco

What are the names of the Stark dire wolves?

a) Donner, Blitzen, Dasher, Prancer, Rudolph

b) Rebel, Standfast, Lady, Proudmane, Osha

c) Toto, Astro, Cujo, Benji, Lassie

d) Lady, Ghost, Summer, Nymeria, Shaggydog, Grey Wind

Why does Jon Snow “know nothing”?

a) He never knew his real mother

b) He didn’t finish high school

c) He doesn’t understand women

d) Internet connections in Westeros are spotty at best

What does the “R.R.” in Game of Thrones creator George R.R. Martin stand for?

a) Ronald Reagan

b) Raymond Richard

c) Ronald Reuel

d) Richard Ryan

What does “Valar Morghulis” mean?

a) Valour is its own reward

b) Do you want fries with that?

c) All men must die

d) We are the watchers on the Wall

What is Ned Stark’s sword made out of?

a) Mithril

b) Adamantium

c) Damascus iron

d) Valyrian steel

Complete this sentence: “the night is dark and full of …”

a) Candy

b) Terrors

c) Turnips

d) White walkers

What are the names of the Khaleesi’s three dragons?

a) Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes

b) Sunfyre, Vermithrax, Ghiscar

c) Smaug, Toothless, Puff the Magic Dragon

d) Drogon, Rhaegal, Viserion

Who built The Wall?

a) Bran the Builder

b) The First Men

c) The Nights Watch

d) Pink Floyd

Answers: 1. C; 2. B; 3. D; 4. C; 5. B; 6. C; 7. D; 8. B. 9. D; 10. A.

10 right – Jon Snow

9 right – Tyrion Lannister

8 right – The Khaleesi

7 right – Cersei Lannister

6 right – Arya Stark

5 right – The Kingslayer

3-4 – Hodor

1-2 right – “Stupid” Ned

0 right – Reek

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Judas, thy name is Olly … aka why Olly is now the biggest shit in the Seven Kingdoms

George RR Martin has done it again. He has delivered a Game of Thrones season finale to rival the Red Wedding, delivered a masterful last episode to set the net on fire and remind us of the savage beauty and cruelty of the world he has created.

And he has now officially crowned the new biggest shit of the Seven Kingdoms – young Olly of the Night’s Watch. His participation in the assassination of Jon Snow – delivering the final dagger thrust and killing off GOT’s most beloved character – earns him an eternal place in the betrayer’s pantheon.

The reaction to Olly’s act on the internet has been passionate and visceral. Not since young King Joffrey has someone become so hated so quickly.

Yet why do we hate Olly so much? Why don’t we reserve our venom for, say, Ser Allison Thorne, who delivered the first blow? Why has Olly leapfrogged rapist, torturer and murderer Ramsay Bolton in the most-hated stakes? Why are photos of Olly appearing on more office dartboards than, say, Ellaria Sand, who delivered a Judas kiss of poison to the young and innocent Myrcella, or even Stannis “Father of the Year” Baratheon?

Because George R.R. Martin fully knows that the greatest betrayals don’t come from wicked or evil characters who act according to their natures … they come from seemingly “good” or “noble” characters who stray to the dark side in the most shocking of ways. They come from the people you least expect. Your best mates. Your blood brothers.

Just look at Judas, the original betrayer. He was one of the Twelve Disciples, paragons of virtue. You wouldn’t expect that someone who had the early foresight to see Christ as a godly figure would betray him to the ungodly Romans. For most of his life, Judas was probably a top bloke. “Judas?” Yeah, he’s OK,” you might say. “He helped me move all my stuff out of my flat.” Yet his moment of fear and weakness turned him into a hate figure for the ages.

Then there’s Brutus, co-murderer of Caesar. Brutus came from an upstanding family and was touted as the “most noble of Romans”. Even after Brutus sided against him in the war with Pompey, Caesar forgave him, welcomed him back into the fold … loved him like an adopted son. And yet, there was Brutus delivering the last stab in the Forum. “Et tu, Brutus?” Shakespeare has him saying as the quivering Brutus delivered the final blow.

“Et tu, Olly?” Jon Snow figuratively whispers as the boy he has nurtured and perhaps even loved delivers the killing blow.

Again, Brutus stands out as a treacherous prick of the aeons because he was a friend of Caesar and regarded as a man of fine character. We don’t single out Cassius as a betraying shit because, as Shakespeare wrote, he had “a lean and hungry look”. just the sort of wanker you knew not to trust. “Cassius stabbed Caesar?” you’d say in a pub. “Ha! I always thought he’d do something like that. Classic Cassius.”

But if you heard Brutus was involved, you might spit your beer out of your mouth across the room in shock.

And if someone told you Olly had helped kill Jon Snow, you might have the same reaction. For pity’s sake, the saintly Snow didn’t seek revenge after Olly shot Ygritte, the love of his life. A lesser man might have “accidentally” pushed Olly off of the top of The Wall. Yet, Christ-like, Jon forgave him.

Plus there’s something creepy about kids who kill. Like Joffrey. Or that brat from The Omen. It freaks us adults out. Young kids are expected to respect their elders, not knife them to death in the cold snow.

We can only wait to see if Jon Snow comes back to life in the next season. And hopefully this time he doesn’t turn his back on little shits like Olly.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is now available on Amazon.

An Open Letter In Defence Of George RR Martin’s GOT Finale By Way Of The Magna Carta

Eight hundred years ago, on June 15, King John signed the Magna Carta, a groundbreaking document that enshrined basic freedoms, put limits on the power of the crown and paved the way for modern Western democracy.

On June 15, the season finale of the fifth season of George RR Martin’s epic saga Game Of Thrones premiered in Australia.

Thoughtful folk have quietly celebrated the anniversary of the Magna Carta. Yet more vociferous folk have taken to the internet to bemoan and bewail the events of the GOT finale, as if Martin had somehow broken the words of his own Magna Carta, that being his A Song Of Ice and Fire series.

However, I would argue that Martin’s Magna Carta is radically different to that of 1215; and the author has, in effect, as stuck as firmly to his own beliefs as we have internalised those of the Magna Carta. (FYI: There are no GOT spoilers in this piece.)

The Magna Carta said that the king was not above the law.

George RR Martin said that whoever sat on the Iron Throne was their own law.

The Magna Carta promised us peace.

George RR Martin offered us excitement.

The Magna Carta said that any man who had not broken the law could not have his liberty or property removed by the state.

George RR Martin said that any man, woman or king could have their liberty, property – and life – removed at any time.

Life in the time of the Magna Carta was nasty, brutish and short.

Life in the time of Game Of Thrones is nasty, brutish and short.

The Magna Carta gave us trial by jury.

George RR Martin gave us trial by mad monks, trial by combat – even trial by one’s own father.

The Magna Carta led to Westminster.

George RR Martin led us to Winterfell.

The Magna Carta gave us a world fit for nobility.

George RR Martin gave us a world fit for heroes.

The Magna Carta gave us habeas corpus.

George RR Martin gave us walking corpses.

The Magna Carta contains some of the most famous words in the world, words that have inspired millions and stood the test of time.

George RR Martin’s books contain some of the most famous words in the world, words that have inspired millions and have stood the test of time.

The Magna Carta changed the world.

George RR Martin changed fiction … and television.

Excitement. Adventure. A world fit for heroes. A cruel, brutish world untouched by the sentiments of the Magna Carta. Anyone who has read Martin’s books knows what to expect from his works and his world … and to be surprised at this point by what may happen smacks of a certain naivete. The unexpected death of Ned Stark (well, for those new to the books) in season one set the tone; not to expect more thorns among those delightful red roses is just wishful thinking.

To quote another venerable cultural artefact – Flying High – we, as viewers and readers, have bought our tickets; we knew what we were getting into.

We can’t now complain if the plane crashes.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Rise of the machines … aka are soldiers of the future going to end up like John Connor in Terminator Genisys?

The stone. The club. The sword. The crossbow. The longbow. The gun. The battleship. The tank. The jet fighter and everything since then.

We’ve seen some amazing and sometimes frightening developments in weapons in the history of warfare.

And if the latest trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 is any guide, the speed of technological transformation of weaponry is only going to increase in the future.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 imagines a world where men themselves turn into weapons. Just look at that robot arm that becomes a mini-gun. Or the soldiers whose minds are all linked by chips in their brains. It’s all a little like that other future-shock video game Deus Ex: Human Revolution, where to survive one must upgrade to Human 2.0.

Yes, those men of 2050 believe they are still soldiers … but just for how long can they pretend to be human with all their assorted technological enhancements? When their bodies start to contain more metal than meat?

Is the destiny of the soldier to become something like John Connor in Terminator Genisys – neither entirely man nor machine but “something else”? Something … more?

I find this subject fascinating because it’s a subject my hero the Spartan confronts in my novels, particularly the sequel. The speed and growth of military technology is changing the face of warfare … and what it means to be a soldier. And, perhaps, what it even means to be a man.

For example, is there honour in war when one can devastate one’s enemies from thousands of kilometres away with drones? With robots tipped to become one of the growth industries of the future (they’re already building driverless cars), how long will it be before actual robots – and not just the SWORDS remote-control armed systems currently in use – enter the battlefield?

Is there any honour in commanding robots? Or fighting metal beings without a soul? Can you even make a heroic movie about drone operators or robot mechanics?

My question is: will we lose a little bit of our humanity every time we outsource part of our lives to machines? Will men be able to define themselves through warfare – the warrior being one of the standard archetypes for men for millennia – when robots are doing the fighting and mankind merely the controlling or button-pushing?

Or, perhaps more likely, men – and soldiers – will become part-man, part-machine … part John Connor 2.0. We will be enhanced through nanobots in our bloodstream, bionic limbs on our bodies and chips in our brains that could greatly enhance our memory and cognitive abilities.

The rise of the machines was a topic I reported on during my days at the Sydney Morning Herald. Take a look at my piece Android Apocalypse here.

One quote from Kevin Warwick, professor of cybernetics at the University of Reading in Britain, always stuck with me. We were discussing the pros and cons of being able to “upgrade” one’s mind and body when I asked him about the people who would want to remain totally human, who don’t want to plug into some grand network.

“They’ll be part of some subspecies,” he replied. “It’ll be up to them if they want to be bossed around and be second-rate.”

So there’s the choice … upgrade or become prey to the John Connors of the future.

The looming conflict between the augmented and non-augmented is something for other authors to explore. Yet my hero the Spartan can see how the future is shaping up – and is not happy about it.

Harking back to the military values of the past, he regards the future Augmented Age as a Cowardly Age.

“It was a sorry day when we started using missile weapons to fight our battles instead of hand-to-hand weapons,” he tells his commander, Colonel Garin. “Any coward can fire a gun or push a button.”

To which Colonel Garin replies: “The days of large standing armies duking it out among each other – with or without swords – is over, son. Warfare will be increasingly asymmetrical now. Expect more of this sort of thing.”

So we can expect more future shocks such as soldiers having guns for arms. Or some John Connor Frankenstein-esque amalgam of man and machine.

Whether that’s an exciting or scary prospect is entirely up to you.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Excuses used by acts for why they’re suddenly cancelling their Australian tour

“Due to unforeseen circumstances” – actually they could have been foreseen. No one wanted to see the one-hit wonder/ageing pop star/disco dinosaur/hasbeen comic/rock relic on a superannuation top-up tour. There was no demand. Hence no one bought any tickets. That didn’t require a crystal ball. Thus management have wisely pulled the plug, saving the star the ego-crushing sight of seeing more than half of the room empty as they perform.

“Contract negotiations” – the act and promoter are possibly suing each other.

“Issues beyond our control” – they include lack of ticket sales; lack of appropriate rider (“what do you mean, you can’t supply dwarves walking around with trays of cocaine on their heads?”); diva/male diva (devo?) suddenly discovering the distance between Australia and the US (“20 hours on a plane for a few grand? Screw that”); the star being arrested on drugs charges; the performer’s latest album flopping in the charts, perhaps due to the performer’s radical, possibly jazz-themed “new direction”; or that no one has actually been able to reach the act for weeks.

“Tour not cancelled, merely postponed” – sometimes indefinitely. Also see “Madonna”.

“Scheduling conflicts” – this excuse is often used when an emerging star suddenly becomes massive after already committing to an Australian gig, which compels them to pull out and concentrate on bigger markets than Australia. Often the star will supply a quote – possibly written by a PR flunky – saying how they’re sorry for “disappointing their Australian fans” (or “Down Under fans” for added familiarity) and promise to tour there next year, by which time most people would have forgotten said promise.

“Conflict over facilities” – the ageing Grammy winner refuses to perform in an RSL. Or even Penrith Panthers.

“Visa issues”  – act possibly refused entry into Australia for prior criminal conviction.

“The timing isn’t right” – when the tour was originally booked the Australian dollar was worth $1US. Now at 77 cents, that substantially reduced paycheque is looking less attractive … particularly in light of the aforementioned 20-hour flight.

“Personal reasons” – the band all hate each other and refuse to share a tour coach, let alone share a stage.

“Performer plays jazz” – say no more. To quote Frank Zappa: “In rock you play three chords to 1000 people; in jazz you play 1000 chords to three people.”

“They need to spend time with their family” – this is the excuse politicians typically use when they are forced to resign due to sex scandals. “I deeply regret the pain I have caused to my wife and children after being pictured on page one with my face in a stripper’s lap. I hereby resign to spend more time with my family.”

“Personal circumstances” – can literally mean anything.

“Medical reasons” – excuses range from a sudden lack-of-ticket-sales-induced chest ache to a genuine Meatloaf-esque heart attack on stage.

“We couldn’t sell any tickets” – an excuse you’ll never see.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is now available on Amazon.

Top 11 tips for surviving the zombie apocalypse

* Get a weapon – stay off the zombie lunch menu with a trusty boomstick or handy melee weapon. Just about anything can become a weapon: a tyre iron, a baseball bat, the collected (thrown) works of One Direction.

* Form a multicultural team with a wide skill set – not everyone on your team should be a killing machine … or a troubled former lawman with a Magnum and a Messiah complex. You’ll also need a cook, a medic, a mechanic, a redneck of ambiguous sexuality, a plucky youngster for comic relief, and at least one unpopular hysteric you can sacrifice when the cast of Thriller turns up at camp.

* Find a HQ that’s not about to be overrun by zombies – but rethink the choice of the mall: they’re a magnet for shuffling, mindless creatures in torn clothes aimlessly wandering around.

* Check your companions constantly for bite marks – much like trying to disguise a bad hickey after the school prom, your fellow survivors will often attempt to conceal their zombie cooties (see also: Ser Jorah Mormont on Game of Thrones). Catch them before they “turn” and make you deader than disco.

* Be prepared to shift alliances – your new zombiefied environment is like the ultimate game of Survivor, only with less TV cameras and Jeff Probsts. Keep yourself from being “voted of the island” by being sneaky and keeping your options open.

*  Realise that one day your best friend might become a zombie – see also: “For God’s sake, I don’t want to become one of them. Do it! DO IT!”

* Learn how to run – you don’t have to be Usain Bolt: just quicker than the person next to you.

* Beware of charismatic, cult-like leaders – it never works out well. See also: politicians.

* Never go anywhere alone – whether it’s an “abandoned” farm houses, a death-trap crawl space or that shadowy nook that new, suspicious hanger-on is just dying for you to check out. See also: any horror movie featuring oversexed teens.

* Realise that Twitter and Facebook will probably be down – :.(

* Try to have fun out there  – otherwise, what’s the point, right?

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Why The Flash is probably the best superhero show on TV

SUPERHEROES have had to wait a long time before they got the televisual treatment they deserved.

Early TV and cinematic versions of The Hulk, Spider-Man and Captain America were embarrassments to audiences, with feeble to non-existent special effects and rubbery props failing to do the source material justice.

Captain America’s mighty shield resembled an overgrown Frisbee, rather than a superhard weapon made out of vibranium that could knock you out – while Spider-Man was plain ridiculous pretending to climb walls in ultra-tight spandex.

And The Incredible Hulk? Its only saving grace was Lou Ferrigno ripping out of his clothes as he transformed from mild-mannered Bruce Banner into a giant green rage monster each episode … that was the visual gift that just kept on giving.

Only 1974’s Wonder Woman resisted the trend. The TV show was just plain fun. There’s something so appealing about Lynda Carter’s heroine – complete with spinning costume transformation and bullet-proof wristbands – that I can’t see any modern version being so groovy and iconic. Or that Gal Gadot can successfully fill Carter’s red boots. Sorry.

The Flash is a comic-book character even older than Captain America, first appearing in print one year before Cap in 1940.

Fortunately, the time has come for a Flash TV show … or, shall we say, another Flash show after the 1990 version. The Arrow spin-off has been a huge hit with the 18-49-year-old demographic, maintaining audiences and quality over an impressively long 23-episode first season.

Star Grant Gustin nailed The Flash’s appeal during a recent interview. “I feel so lucky to be on a show that has some of — if not the — best special effects that have ever been on television, really smart writing and really good characters,” he said. “We make people cry and have them laughing one second later.”

So The Flash has the holy trinity of great SFX (much needed if you want to credibly depict super-speed on screen), great writing and great characters going for it. And it has Gustin, whose built-in fan base as Sebastian from Glee couldn’t have hurt.

And his costume works, too … because that’s part of the battle right there, creating a costume that won’t test the audience’s credibility and interest.

(Am I the only one who hates TV Daredevil’s new costume? I see that as a serious impediment going into season two.)

And like the original Wonder Woman, The Flash is plain fun.

The Flash has a cool power, too. Super speed is one of those to-die-for powers. It’s a young person’s power. It’s a fun superpower. It’s a “zeitgeist-y” power. It’s the type of superpower you could bust out at a party and have everyone go “whoah”. It’s the power you’d want if you didn’t fancy being a giant green rage monster or having super senses at the expense of your eyesight.

Hell, it’s almost an app.

The Flash is a welcome and overdue addition to the pantheon of TV superheroes.

Now if they can only do the same thing for Wonder Woman.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.