Charles Purcell's Blog, page 14

Happy Back To The Future Day!

We all dress like this in the Year of Our Lord 2015.

Musings on an American holiday

So begins my belated recollections of my holiday to the US … first up, the view from my hotel window at the Paris in Las Vegas. I am impressed by the quality of the pics you can take on the iPhone.

Why I love ninjas – and why they should make a comeback

I love ninjas.

There – I’ve said it.

I love those men and women in black from yesteryear.

I grew up in what you could arguably call the Ninja Spring, when ninjas exploded onto our screens in the 1980s. Climbing castle keeps, breathing underwater with bamboo reeds, jumping backwards up into trees – the shinobi were everywhere, delighting a Western audience already primed with the likes of Shogun, The Samurai and Kung Fu.

I was there with the rest of the schoolkids as we all followed the craze. We harvested metal in our backyards to make home-made shuriken (maybe one in 10 flew straight). We jumped off of trees and small buildings, believing if we just “bent our knees” like the ninjas did we could land safely from great heights. We frequented martial arts stores to buy small-and-medium size ninja suits, much to the bemusement of the store owners, who knew better than to ask questions. We laughed as kids brained themselves with clumsily-made nunchuks … or cried if we were the ones getting brained.

We spent enough 20-cent pieces for a 1980s house deposit playing ninja games at the arcades. We learnt the weapons of the ninja – “No, the ninja sword is the ninjato. The samurai sword is the katana” – as well as their mystical beliefs: “The ninja fears nothing except the failure of a mission.” For elite level nerd points, some of us even knew that “nunchuks” were actually “nunchaku”.

Our merry band of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crept around schoolyards trying to sneak up on each other like our ninja hero Sho Kosugi, who was to ninja films what Bruce Lee was to martial arts movies.

For a while it seemed as if ninjas really were unkillable – at least the ninja movie genre, anyway.

Ninjas were just another reason why the ’80s were awesome. (You could chuck in the Atari 2600, Rubik’s Cubes, Walkmen, the films of John Hughes and New Romantic music into that list, too, but that’s another article.)

And then, like their shadow warrior namesakes, movies about ninjas disappeared.

Kids stopped taking ninjutsu classes or making aeronautically challenged shuriken. Fewer children required first aid for nunchuk wounds or darts to the neck spat from PVC pipes. There were fewer reports of students jumping off canteen roofs.

What followed was the age of Tolkien, of hobbits, of Marvel superheroes and special forces soldiers. Ninja retreated back in the shadows to trouble samurai lords and multiplexes no more.

Yet ninjas still have their aficionados. Hugh Jackman put them in his second Wolverine installment – and what a treat it was for all good children of the ’80s.

In fact, I love ninjas so much I’ve put them in my sequel to my ebook military thriller, The Spartan. An immovable object inspired by ancient Greek history will meet an unstoppable force from the mists of Japan.

There will be swordfighting. Shurikens. Assassinations. Ancient swords. Stealth attacks. Disguise and deception. Death.

Plus the eternal enemy of the ninja – samurai.

Mmmm …nostalgia.

Let the battle commence.

And welcome back into the light, my sweet shinobi.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Why videogaming is just crying out for an Assassin’s Creed: Westeros edition

So … exciting news today that Maisie “Arya Stark” Williams has been filmed doing Assassin’s Creed-type stuff during the shooting for season six of Game Of Thrones.

Yet I think whoever wrote that headline in The Independent has stumbled across something unexpectedly magical. Because there should be more Westeros-style antics in the Assassin’s Creed series.

In fact, I would go even one further: an Assassin’s Creed: Westeros edition would be fantastic.

All the elements are already in place for an amazing AC-style video game. Spectacular, rich, well-fleshed-out characters – check. A fascinating, intricate, ancient world full of magic, legends and wonders to explore – check. The potential for epic quests, large-scale battles, drama, pathos and heroism – check.

And dragons. Lots of dragons.

Because dragons make everything better.

Obviously, the first choice would be for gamers to play as the series’s “assassin”, Arya. We can follow her progress – her skilling and levelling up, as it were – as a young child in Winterfell. Arya progresses in lethality as she trains under her dancing master Syrio Forel, learning new techniques and weapons and mastering her sword Needle.

In the meantime, there is huge scope for side quests, leaping off the top of roofs and climbing the buildings of King’s Landing much in the same way that Ezio scaled and explored 15th-century Venice. (Such was the superb detail of Venice in Assassin’s Creed II I feel like I have already toured the city.)

Arya’s dealings with The Hound and Jaqen H’ghar further push along the plot and her skills and weapons. The Hound can teach her to use heavy weapons or ride a horse (level up!), while H’ghar, the grand master of the game, can instruct her in the highest-level assassin skills, including being able to transform her appearance and take on another’s face (stealth mode?).

The size of Westeros would allow AC: Westeros edition to become a giant sandbox game much in the manner of Grand Theft Auto or Metal Gear Solid. Arya could travel the land, having adventures and taking on the odd assassination, running, tracking or spying side mission.

Perhaps, when she reaches higher levels and has learnt everything H’ghar has to teach her, she could recruit killers for her own guild in the same way as the Assassin’s Creed games.

And, of course, there would be the main quest, the assassination of everyone on her list: Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, Meryn Trant, The Hound, Walder Frey and more. Once they’re all dead the main quest is over, but one would still be free to complete other side quests in the manner of Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim.

There could also be downloads/mods where you could play the game as Ned Stark, Sansa, the Khaleesi, Jon Snow (he’s still alive, you know) or perhaps even Tyrion.

And for lovers of big battle simulations like Total War, imagine fighting the Battle of the Blackwater or taking on giants and wildlings in the Battle of Castle Black.

Awesome.

Sure, it’s a dream at this stage … but what a dream.

And imagine what a huge crossover audience there must be between gamers and Game Of Thrones devotees: huge, I reckon.

So game developers, please take heed of the secret desires of gamers everywhere and commission an Assassin’s Creed: Westeros edition.

Because we all know it would be epic.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Happy 20th birthday, Mortal Kombat … aka why it’s still the best fighting franchise ever

I love how you can rip out a man’s spine and show it to him.

I love how shouting “finish him” is applicable to real-life situations.

I love how it spells “Kombat” with a “K”.

I love how kicks to the stomach finish off just about every opponent.

I love it when you hear the words “flawless victory” (again, words applicable in real life).

I love how Thunder God Raiden is laissez-faire with the fate of humanity.

I love how Johnny Cage is actually an actor with $500 sunglasses.

I love all the fatality finishing moves.

I love how Sub Zero can freeze a dude and then smash him into tiny pieces.

I love the graphics and the fast-paced fights.

I love the gritty feel … far more epic than Street Fighter.

I love how it broke the fighting videogame mould in the arcades with its over-the-top violence.

I love anything with ninjas.

I love the sly humour (come on … ripping out an opponent’s heart is such a martial arts cliché it’s kind of funny).

I love how the first movie is perhaps the best videogame-to-movie adaptation ever.

I love the movie soundtrack.

I love how both Cameron Diaz and Brandon Lee almost appeared in the movie.

I love how the plot of the game makes little sense … but you don’t care.

I love how critics thought its bloody violence was once again another sign of the moral decay of the West.

I love when random dudes scream “Mortal Kombat” in popular culture and everyone gets it.

I love its ports to gaming console and PC … and the evolution of the series.

And I love how we’re still talking about it 20 years later.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Four reasons why the Fantastic Four movie was destined to fail at the box office

The superhero movie genre is a fickle one. There is a fine line between the success of the Avengers and the calamity of Green Lantern, the heights of Batman and the lows of Catwoman.

And yet, it didn’t take much of a crystal ball to figure out that the new Fantastic Four movie was going to find it hard-going at the box office.

For simplicity’s sake, we can boil down the failure for four things:

Where’s the buzz?

The fan boys and comic-book lovers went into overdrive over the footage for the upcoming Batman v Superman movie at San Diego Comic Con. If that buzz is any indication, we’re looking at $500m at least at the box office, if not a cool billion.

Consider it an example as how advanced buzz can be a good indicator over whether people really want to see a new film/reboot/sequel/re-imagining.

Yet where is the buzz for a new Fantastic Four? Where is the cultural zeitgeist, the excitement, the amusing memes that suggest people are paying attention? The original fan base still buying the comic books?

Yes, there is a built-in audience for Marvel superhero movies … but not necessarily for a FF movie. I feel FF falls between the cracks of the teen comic-book buyers and the more mature crowd now into graphic novels like Sandman.

It’s probably also not a good sign that the director tweeted: “A year ago I had a fantastic version of this. And it would’ve received great reviews. You’ll probably never see it. That’s reality though.”

How can audiences relate to them?

OK, so the Fantastic Four go into outer space and come back as altered beings. Yet what are they? They’re not the X-Men, mutants defending the rights of mutants to exist in a world that hates and fears them. They’re not the Avengers: spies, soldiers, industrialists, rage monsters and sky gods tasked to protect mankind from both earthly and intergalactic threats.

They’re not Daredevil or the Punisher or Superman or any hero that’s easy to understand. (Or, indeed, heroes you’d want to “be” – sure, it might be cool to be Wolverine, with the claws and the healing powers, but do you want to be a talking slab of rock? Or a giant Gumby doll? Or a dude on fire?)

In fact, if you asked a group of cinemagoers what the Fantastic Four “stand for” – what there “mission statement” is – they’d find it tough to answer. Are they the heroes you call when the Avengers or the X-Men are busy? Do they make wisecracks to hide the pain like Deadpool? Or are they all business like Batman?

Are they light or shade? Fish or fowl?

If you can’t understand them, you can’t relate to them. And if you can’t relate to them, you probably don’t want to watch them.

The main enemy is Victor Von Doom … again

We already saw that in 2005. A Galactus taking up the whole screen would have been more interesting (imagine Galactus in IMAX!).

We’re seeing the beginnings of “peak superhero”

The superhero franchise has moved on considerably since the first FF outing. Better scripts, better special FX, better acting … and audiences with greater expectations.

Tim Burton’s Batman probably wouldn’t fly today after Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins. We savaged the Daredevil movie. Green Lantern might have been a hit if it had run in the 1990s rather than this decade.

Or maybe we’re finally seeing the signs of “peak superhero”. We’ve just watched so many films about mutants and flying gods and spider-men, we’ve become a bit tired and jaded. Only something truly amazing will get us excited again.

And something just “fantastic” simply won’t do.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

How The Power Of The Meme Brought Down Bronywyn Bishop

My article for the Walkley website on how memes brought down the Speaker during Choppergate. Read it here and enjoy!

Charles

Mourning over the death of Cecil the lion … aka why I hate video games about hunting

I grieve with the rest of the world over the death of Cecil the lion. The idea of hunting a semi-tame lion – or “canned hunting”, as such faux hunting is called – sickens me. But the worldwide uproar over Cecil allows me to bring up another bugbear of mine: why I hate videogames about hunting.

I am a lifelong gamer. I’ve played all the controversial videogames: Doom, whose graphic, explosive violence made it instantly controversial; Grand Theft Auto, which allows you to rob virtual hookers and run over policemen; Mortal Kombat, where you can rip out your foe’s spine; Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, with a mission that includes a massacre at an airport.

I’ve seen dragons tear people apart, aliens shot by lasers, soldiers blown to pieces storming beaches in World War II and watched entire civilisations been destroyed, all without shedding a tear.

I’m even the author of an ebook military thriller, The Spartan, which has no shortage of violent action. Hence you could say I’m not particularly squeamish.

I have resisted the calls to ban certain video games, and applauded moves to create an R18+ rating for games in Australia, which allows older gamers such as myself to purchase games with more “adult” themes. I always viewed the linking of games to violence or anti-social attitudes with a jaded, suspicious eye, particularly when such views form part of some politician’s crusade to scare the public and win votes.

Largely, my only real objection to video games, apart from the usual moral qualms against excessive levels of violence or tasteless sexual titillation, is whether a game is “crap” or not.

Yet there is always one genre of games that triggers an instinctive revulsion in me whenever I see it: games that glorify the hunting of animals. It disgusts me to walk into a pub and see a hunting video game positioned in the corner, plastic gun mounted on the console inviting drunken patrons to shoot defenceless animals.

I’m amazed when I go into stores and spot hunting games for sale to anyone, including teens. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a bigger outcry against a genre that thinks there’s something cool or brave about gunning down rare or even endangered creatures for “sport”, when we should have morally evolved past that point.

Reading the blurbs that come with such specimens as Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2012 brings a sick taste to my mouth. “Can you outsmart the true-to-life animals that can now see, hear and smell you” goes one such blurb, which claims that “to bag your trophy, you must avoid detection through cunning skill and deception”. The idea that such a hunt is some kind of grand battle of wits is nauseating, particularly when the gamer is armed with a high-powered rifle with telescopic sight.

What is the particular trophy on offer? The head of a bear or the antlers of a dear, procured by our hero after sniping creatures going about their daily foraging? Perhaps a bogus element of danger is introduced to make the game seem fair – as if the gamer is in “imminent threat” after the beast detects his presence.

It reminds me of the South Park episode where Uncle Jimbo gets around the hunting laws by claiming that every creature they face is some imminent threat. “He’s coming right at us!” he cries as he shoots a Rocky Mountain Black Bear, “one of the few remaining of its kind”, as it sits there minding its own business.

Fortunately the genre appears to be dying out for videogame consoles, with few examples on offer at Sydney’s gaming stores. Likewise, the video games at the pub are also becoming extinct, making way perhaps for pokies.

Or maybe people are too interested in playing games on their iPhones and iPads than spend money on coin-operated machines or consoles.

Unfortunately such blood-spattered fare has found a second life in the world of apps for the iPhone and iPad. There is a plethora of games available for the iPhone, many of them free, such as Deer Hunter Reloaded, Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter, Deer Hunter 3D, Real Trophy Hunting, Bird Hunter, Big Buck Safari, Ace Duck Hunter Lite and High Caliber Hunting.

For the most part they are simple point-and-shoot games, as suited for a medium without an Xbox-style controller or large keyboard. Some might say their intent is no more sinister than Pac-Man: no actual animals were harmed during the game, merely pixels.

Yet what remains objectionable is still the idea that hunting wildlife for sport – or “trophies” – is somehow OK, particularly as we live in a world where the need to hunt food for basic survival has long since vanished. And because of their cheap price and the popularity of the iPad and iPhone, hunting games have a potentially larger reach than ever. They might even act as a soft promotional tool for the acceptance of hunting.

So why the specific objection to the shooting of animals in games as opposed, to, say, the shooting of humans, you ask? Because animals are powerless against humans: all they can do is run and hide. Because there are already hunters claiming the lives of rhinos and elephants and pretending that it’s some jolly, post-colonial wheeze, as if it was a match of wits rather than one scared beast facing a human armed with Satnav and a gun. Because trying to turn such a travesty into some game where the odds are supposedly “equal” is about as distasteful a spectacle as promoting bullfighting as an equal contest.

Because there’s nothing really “fun” about shooting a harmless, unarmed opponent … or seeing some tool posing next to an elephant he has just gunned down as he lives out some Great White Hunter fantasy.

We live in a world where the mass extinction of species is already a fact of life. The idea that it is somehow acceptable to blow away endangered lions or bears for sport is morally reprehensible, whether in the real world or in the electronic realm. We should cherish these great animals before they disappear, rather than subject them to a virtual charnel house.

Some things – whether the real-life death of a magnificent creature such as Cecil or its pixelated equivalent – just aren’t worth turning into a game.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

Why the world needs a new Punisher TV show

So … exciting news this week that Marvel’s favourite anti-hero the Punisher might be getting his own TV show.

It’s welcome news on the back of the announcement that the American vigilante will feature prominently in the next season of TV’s Daredevil.

For many, former soldier Frank Castle – aka the Punisher – is the most interesting of Marvel’s Heroes That Kill. The other big star in this category is, of course, Wolverine. Yet while Wolverine was served masterfully right out of the gate in his first movie appearance by Hugh Jackman – whose acting chops skilfully allowed us to forget that the Wolverine was in fact a five-foot-something Canadian rather than a six-foot-plus Australian actor – the Punisher’s on-screen exploits have been, well, mixed.

So far we’ve had three actors play the Punisher in movies: Dolph Lundgren in 1989’s The Punisher, Thomas Jane in 2004’s The Punisher and Ray Stevenson in 2008’s Punisher: War Zone.

Interestingly, I would say the best movie has been the one with the least budget and worst actor: 1989’s The Punisher.

Mean Swede Lundgren really seems to tap into the soul of a formerly good man turned vigilante after the murder of his family by mobsters. His Punisher is surly, taciturn and dark, with no irritating attempts at “humour”. And it doesn’t hurt the many fine action scenes that Lundgren is a black belt in real life (and, for those who think he’s just a brainless himbo, is actually a Fulbright scholar with a degree in chemical engineering).

And the worst Punisher movie – although it pains me to say it – is Ray Stevenson’s outing: a shame, because he is the best actor of the lot. Just check him out as Titus Pullo in Rome.

In Stevenson’s case – and in the case of the others – the resulting script let the movie down. For some unknown reason the writers have failed to capture the essence of the dark vigilante knight, failed to transmit Castle’s aching, ongoing pain at the loss of his family, pain he can only temporarily alleviate with gun-toting, goon-killing rampages.

Whatever the dark recesses of Castle’s soul, the movie creators have not fully taken us there. The box office has followed in kind.

And yet, movie makers are still fascinated by the prospect of getting the Punisher RIGHT. It is the great white whale of action movies … a decent Punisher film that will satisfy the fans and the multiplexes.

What we need to make Castle sing on either the big or small screen is to draw upon the darker material: in particular, The Punisher MAX series. There are two series under the MAX banner that best depict Castle. Firstly, The Punisher MAX 1-22, which begins with the rise of the Kingpin and Bullseye trying to fully understand what makes Castle tick (and where we discover something truly shocking about that day in Central Park where mobsters killed Frank’s family), through to his last confrontation with Fisk and ninja assassin Electra.

Start there, I say.

The Punisher: MAX: In The Beginning is also essential source material, featuring his old associate Microchip and the latter’s attempt to get Castle to work for the CIA.

To me, these are the source material equivalent of what The Dark Knight Returns, Batman: The Long Halloween and The Killing Joke were for Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.

Start there, and perhaps we can finally have a movie or TV show worthy of Castle. Because his is a story that deserves to be told … and told well.

(Note for the hard-core comic fans … and if they ever want to do an “Old Man Logan” treatment for the Punisher, they should look to The Punisher: The End, featuring an ageing Castle plying his trade in the ruins of World War III.)

It is an encouraging sign that Jon Bernthal will play Frank Castle in the second season of Daredevil, particularly considering his great work in The Walking Dead.

It will be fascinating to see how Castle clashes with Daredevil. One kills. The other doesn’t. And yet, by not killing, Daredevil allows monsters such as Wilson Fisk to go free.

It’s the same dilemma faced by Batman, another member of the Thou Shall Not Kill Club, who constantly bangs up the Joker in Arkham Asylum only to watch him escape and commit murder again and again.

Therein lies the crux of Daredevil and the Punisher’s eternal philosophical and violently physical argument, played out many times in the Marvel comics. It’s one of the great grudge matches in comicdom. Sometimes Daredevil, with his ninja training and heightened senses, wins. Sometimes former special forces soldier Castle wins. But the reader wins every time.

Can’t wait to watch it all play out on the small screen.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

What second-act life choices Atticus Finch could have made besides “arthritic racist”

Town crier

Leaf blower

Parking inspector

Cage fighter

Fan dancer

NASCAR driver

Life coach

Karaoke singer

Renaissance scholar

Eccentric, wisdom-dispensing hobo

Stand-up comedian

“The game”

Bible salesman

Tattoo artist

Local kook

Interpretive dancer

North Korean Times

Live tweeter

Full body masseuse

Q&A comment contributor (Australia only)

Priest/nun

Pirate

“Pundit”

Poodle walker

Freelance iconoclast

Mad scientist’s assistant

Pinball wizard

Hairdresser to the stars

Balloon sculptor

Lego artiste

Barber-shop quartet

Cult member

Crank

Eurovision judge

Police informer

Gluten inspector

Jazz enthusiast

Binge watcher

Angry, self-funded documentarian

“The grift”

ASIO/CIA

Twitcher

Vandelay Industries

Lottery winner

Sexologist

Civil War enthusiast

Brain surgeon

Policy wonk

Pilates instructor

Flunky

Avocado/marijuana farmer

http://www.catphotos.com

Test subject

Mason

Supreme Court Judge

My ebook military thriller The Spartan is out now on Amazon.