Bryan Parady's Blog, page 36

What Does It Take To Win?

What does it take to win? To be successful in life?  Is it being born into the right family?  Having money?  Having tons of talent?

What makes some successful and others average?  Why do some win nobel peace prizes, and others are doing good to get employee of the week.

It all boils down to your focus.  If you focus on things that don’t matter, trivialities, and minor details you will struggle with getting ahead.

In our day and age there are probably more distractions than there have ever been since the beginning of time.  If our phone’s not buzzing, our tablet is chirping, or our laptop is blasting something, or our TV is desensitizing us.  Social media keeps us in a constant frenzy of having to “stay in the loop” which in reality keeps us more out of it than anything.

So what does it take to be successful?  It takes focus.  It takes hard work, every single day to fight distractions, fight things that are unnecessary for you to obtain your goal.  It takes being hard core when it comes to saying no to trivial things.

Focus on the goal, and don’t stray.  That is how success becomes obtainable.  Go for it.

Acting and Singing Doesn’t Make You a god

There are few things that get me as worked up as when actors, musicians, or famous people are idolized. It just gets me so worked up.  But let me explain.

Actors and musicians play roles in moves and play songs that are written by people who know what sells. They know that playing on your emotions and making you feel good sell. So they write heartfelt songs and movies that tug on every possible human emotion, and then we readily buy into it and somehow relate the person we see on the screen as truly being just like he or she is in the movie or in the song.

But this simply is a false reality.  We get so caught up believing that if an actor acts such romantic roles or actions packed roles, then they must be a true romantic or a adrenaline junkie in real life.

But the people that we idolize are anything but. They have the same fears as you, they get in the same fights with their spouse, have the same heart-wrenching divorces, and have just as many if not more social and substance abuse problems.

When we idolize these actors and musicians we are living in a fantasy realm, much like people who live and breathe online video games.  It’s an alternative that gets them feeling good and makes them feel happy, but it’s all fake.

Keep your focus on your life, and on what is real and true in this world we live in.

You’ve Got This

What does it mean to be a winner? Does it mean you come in first?  Does it mean you beat everyone else?  Or does it mean something entirely different?

Winners are those who continue to fight, continue to bust through brick wall obstacles despite the pain.  Winners are those who may never actually win 1st place but still get up every day and run the race.

It’s not about simply winning the medal it’s not just about being the best.  It’s about trying again, and again, and again.

A winner is someone who looks at rejection and rather than quits, uses it as motivation to try even harder. A winner is someone who falls on their face, bloodies their nose, gets hurt, but still gets up and keeps moving with a dead-lock on the goal.

Winning doesn’t mean you always comes in first, it means if you come in dead last, you keep trying, and you keep going.

That is the true essence of a winner.

Run Your Path

You know what you have to do. It’s been eating at you for some time now.  Something is not quite right. You wake up wishing for it, but have to keep it quiet and shuffle through your hum drum day.  You go to that job you are thankful for but don’t love.  You wish deep down there was something different….something more.

In reality you’ve always known.  Ever since you were young you wanted this.  It may have come out in different forms, but it was there.

Aren’t you ready?  Aren’t  you sick of shutting it up deep inside, only to save face, and appear to be living the dream (though it’s the dream of someone else).

It’s time to throw off the hand cuffs of mediocrity.  Shout from the rooftops.  Go do your daring adventure starting TODAY.  Not tomorrow, or next year, or when this happens or that.

Now.  Do it. You know what passion lies in you.  You know exactly what dream you have. So quit living a fake life.  Bust your butt, ignore what everyone says you “should” do and start living out your dream.  Be creative, work hard, follow YOUR dream.  Prepare for failure it will come, but get right back up and learn from it.  You can, and you will achieve your dream if you chase hard enough.  Don’t give up, and for goodness sake start today. You’ve got one life.

Make the most of it and run, don’t walk.  You were born to chase your dream.

Don’t Relax

 

 

For many of us the weekend is a time to relax, sit back and well…do nothing.  But what if you approached your weekends differently?  What if you viewed those 2 days as the only 2 days you have in your week to get closer to your life goal?

What if you viewed them as an opportunity to get out of your 8-5 Monday through Friday job.

Ask yourself if finding out what happens on Dr. Who or The Walking Dead is really going to better your life or not.  In a couple years no one will even be watching those shows anymore.

So start making some steps today towards your goal.  Stop wasting your weekends away and start living out your dream.

 

Quit Your Diet Fad

If all these amazing diets and workout plans that came out actually worked why is there a need for more?  Go into any bookstore and there is an overwhelming supply on how to work out and how to diet, what to eat what not to eat.

There are wraps, pills, patches, and a hundred other things that offer quick fixes to getting in shape.

There is no quick fix.  Sorry if I bursted any bubbled there. You want to get into shape? Go to a gym, take the stairs, run, lift weights, bike, swim  You don’t have to go through a 12 step program.

Quit eating fast food, stop buying frozen pizzas. Bake home made foods, limit red meat. Eat plenty of fruit and veggies, put down the chocolate bar and ice cream.

There is no substitute for working hard at something.  If you want results you have to make sacrifices, you have to choose to make a sacrifice, living your life the same way you’ve always lived it and throwing in 30 minutes of some new workout program isn’t going to give you lasting change.

You have to adjust your lifestyle.  But you can do it.

 

Leading What Matters

What does it mean to lead your children?  Is it having it all together?  Is it being able to provide every wish and desire?  Is it making all the right decisions?

While leadership consists of many factors, the above are not the answers when it comes to leading your kids.

Kids need direction.  Psalms talks about children being arrows in the hands of a warrior. What are arrows designed for?  They are meant for war, they are placed on a bow string and flung into the distance to strike fear in the hearts of enemies.

I have my child for 18 year or so.  And in that time she has to learn how to live life.  She won’t hit 18 and have all the answers of life, but I have to provide her with the knowledge of how to find the answers for herself.  How do I do this?  Well how do kids learn?

My daughter is two and she mimics everything.  I can sing a song and dance like a crazy man around the room, and she will do her best to dance just like me.  Why?  That’s how she learns.  I can’t sit in a chair and tell her to dance silly around the room, just doesn’t work that way.

I have had many argue with me and question whether I or my wife do to much now that we have a child.  The answer, no.  I don’t think we do.  Between the two of us, we have a full time job, a self-owned business, both are college full time, we both blog, we travel constantly, and much more.  We fight for our marriage which includes making sure we have alone time together to build that relationship.

So what do I want to impart to her?  I want her to know she should life to the fullest.  Life doesn’t consist of watching tv all day, or playing games in a fantasy world all day.  It consists of getting out in the world, chasing your dreams, your goals, your passion full heartedly especially when it’s hard and you are tired and worn out.

The best way I can teach her that is through my own actions and chasing after those things myself.  And I can rest assured that she is watching.  She is learning how to fly on her own.  How to make a difference in her world, how to serve.

Don’t Overthink It

George Patton said: “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.”

We can get caught up in making plans.  Don’t get me wrong it’s great to plan.  But it’s far more important to create goals.  You can’t plan for life, you can’t plan out how you will exactly get from point A to point B because life happens and things change and the route you thought you were going to take may disappear entirely.

Goals set our hearts ablaze, it ignites our souls.  Dream big and make huge goals.  And make plans, but small ones, step 1, step 2.  Don’t worry about step 54, because by the time you get there, it will have changed anyway.

Start with step 1.  Follow it through, then worry about step 2.  Be faithful today.  Keep your goal always before you, but don’t get lost in the thought of how long or what it will require for you to get there.  Dig in and do step 1.  If you can’t start with that step, and just plan, and deliberate, you will never reach your goal.

Start small, and end big.

What’s the Point of Church?

What is the purpose of the church?  I  mean really?  I find myself asking this question a lot lately.  I honestly don’t know what the church should like.  Based off scripture there wasn’t any such thing as church, at least in a good sense.  The rabbis of the day who worked in the temple a.k.a “ministry” were leading the people astray.

Church looks and sounds nice, and it may even make us look distinguished showing up in our frilly dresses, jeans and sports coats, but does it matter?

Even in Acts when the “church” started it wasn’t church, there wasn’t someone preaching with people sitting in pews.  It was just people getting together and sharing stories of what Jesus did.  People ate together, prayed together, worked together, and all pitched in to help those in need.

Now I know there are some great qualities in church, but I often wonder what would happen if we took the 82 + billion dollars that churches take in each year, and built wells, provided replenish-able food sources, and then went and turned the buildings into shelters, foster homes, and work training facilities.

I would have to argue that I think the impact and effect that would have would far surpass church services that only attract Christians to begin with.

I don’t know if church is the answer to all things turning around, I wonder if it acts as a hindrance in keeping people from truly serving in the way it needs to.

Church was made into an idol at one point in history, and Jesus shook all of that false theology. Has it gotten to that point again?  We read about how Jesus cleared out the money changers in the temple and we shake our head wondering how people could have stooped that low.  But are we any different?  I mean really?

I don’t have the answers but am simply asking some hard questions.

 

What is Marriage?

What is marriage?  I mean if someone were to ask you what it is what would you say?  I imagine most would have a different answer things like, friendship, love, sex, misery, no more fun.

I think it’s really easy to forget what marriage actually is.  God set up marriage as a vow. He set it up so that we would have to make a commitment before others.  Why is this?  Why can’t we just say I do in our living room with no one around?

Because marriage can be extremely hard and it’s vital for us to have taken a vow in front of others to remind us that we are committed to each other.

In dating we see primarily all of the good in our significant other.  Then once 2 people get married, the walls come down, and the secrets come out, the dirty laundry has to be aired, and the annoying habits come out of the closet.  For many this is scary and it causes people to run, some may think they’ve made a horrible decision or married the wrong person. But this simply isn’t true.

The same things happens with everyone.  No matter who you marry, there will be arguments, disagreements, hurt feelings, and frustration.  That’s simply part of it.

But marriage ultimately is an act of service.  Think about it.  How much less would you be disappointed in your marriage if you completely stopped seeking to gain things from it, and instead focused all that negative thinking on ways to give to your partner.

We live more than ever in a “what’s in it for me society”.  This is detrimental to marriage, because it turns us into selfish people that focus only on our own needs and wants.

Marriage is about giving more thought to your spouse than yourself.  If you are struggling in your marriage, try getting the focus off you, start studying your spouse again, seek to cheer them on, uplift them, and make them happy.

You might just find things can change and turn around.  Remember you made a vow of commitment.  Remember you married your spouse because of deep feelings you had towards them.  Feelings change yes, but your love and friendship towards them doesn’t have to.  That’s a choice.  What are you choosing?