Chris Rodell's Blog, page 70
November 5, 2015
I have the hots for angry traffic flag girl
(661 words)
I’m having mixed emotions about the pending completion of a pivotal bridge re-construction project. Sure, the resumption of normal traffic will be welcome.
But it will come at a cost.
I’ll miss micro-flirting with my angry flag girl.
The bridge between my home here in Youngstown and all the stuff I need to do in Latrobe has been under construction since about April. Crews
I’m having mixed emotions about the pending completion of a pivotal bridge re-construction project. Sure, the resumption of normal traffic will be welcome.
But it will come at a cost.
I’ll miss micro-flirting with my angry flag girl.
The bridge between my home here in Youngstown and all the stuff I need to do in Latrobe has been under construction since about April. Crews
November 3, 2015
Mailing Pennsylvania chickens to Texas
(667 words)
I didn’t expect when I entered the local post office yesterday I’d depart with a fresh brain barnacle, something I’ll remember for as long as I live.
A brain barnacle is useless trivia that a lobotomizing power sprayer could not scrub from your cranium.
Here it is:
It costs $234.12 to mail three live chickens to Texas.
I didn’t know you could mail live chickens.
And I had
I didn’t expect when I entered the local post office yesterday I’d depart with a fresh brain barnacle, something I’ll remember for as long as I live.
A brain barnacle is useless trivia that a lobotomizing power sprayer could not scrub from your cranium.
Here it is:
It costs $234.12 to mail three live chickens to Texas.
I didn’t know you could mail live chickens.
And I had
November 2, 2015
I am America's drinking buddy
(819 words)
I’ve been surprised by the surge of people who’ve approached me urgently wanting to know where I’m going to be drinking now that Pond’s re-opening is here.
Am I going to continue frequenting the Tin Lizzy?
Or will I return to The Pond?
I was flattered my recreational time was of such pressing interest to so many people.
Then I had a troubling thought:
What if they were
I’ve been surprised by the surge of people who’ve approached me urgently wanting to know where I’m going to be drinking now that Pond’s re-opening is here.
Am I going to continue frequenting the Tin Lizzy?
Or will I return to The Pond?
I was flattered my recreational time was of such pressing interest to so many people.
Then I had a troubling thought:
What if they were
October 30, 2015
The tweet that cost me a sensitive old buddy
Guess which incendiary @8days2Amish tweet cost me the Facebook friendship of a kid I’ve known for 30 years!
• I wonder if there’s graffiti on the outside walls by the pearly gates and if it says things like, “Angels suck!” and “Satan No. 1!”
• NASA plans asteroid killer to save the world. Don't they know they'll be saving our enemies, too?
• God helps those who help themselves.
• I wonder if there’s graffiti on the outside walls by the pearly gates and if it says things like, “Angels suck!” and “Satan No. 1!”
• NASA plans asteroid killer to save the world. Don't they know they'll be saving our enemies, too?
• God helps those who help themselves.
October 29, 2015
Our beautiful bullies
(1,021 words)
I guess they were what you’d call cool girls. Cool for 15. They were each attractive in their own way, supremely self-assured and clumped up all together in a little clique by the side of the high school pool.
There were four of them. Their practice started in 20 minutes.
It was a typical after school swim club practice, which meant I was sitting in the stands enjoying my
I guess they were what you’d call cool girls. Cool for 15. They were each attractive in their own way, supremely self-assured and clumped up all together in a little clique by the side of the high school pool.
There were four of them. Their practice started in 20 minutes.
It was a typical after school swim club practice, which meant I was sitting in the stands enjoying my
October 28, 2015
Is the Tin Lizzy haunted?
(835 words)
I’ve been here in the Tin Lizzy penthouse for three months now and have yet to see a ghost.
This is disappointing to many people who are either convinced or want to believe the building is haunted.
I can’t say whether I’m disappointed or not.
I guess it'd all depend on the kind of ghost.
A friendly ghost would be cool, as would a topless one. You never hear of nude ghosts,
I’ve been here in the Tin Lizzy penthouse for three months now and have yet to see a ghost.
This is disappointing to many people who are either convinced or want to believe the building is haunted.
I can’t say whether I’m disappointed or not.
I guess it'd all depend on the kind of ghost.
A friendly ghost would be cool, as would a topless one. You never hear of nude ghosts,
October 27, 2015
My compliments: my day with the PR&LA
(850 words)
Until very recently, most of the compliments people have said to my face have been rectal in nature.
It was like that in ’14 when I lost a bone-headed game of red light chicken with a monster truck near downtown Pittsburgh (link below). The wreck was my fault, sure, but the guy said he had no intention to escalate the legal or administrative stakes.
“I could tell just by
Until very recently, most of the compliments people have said to my face have been rectal in nature.
It was like that in ’14 when I lost a bone-headed game of red light chicken with a monster truck near downtown Pittsburgh (link below). The wreck was my fault, sure, but the guy said he had no intention to escalate the legal or administrative stakes.
“I could tell just by
October 23, 2015
Jonesin' for Xarelto: New Arnold Palmer ad
(798 words)
We’re putting an emphatic pause on this blog’s kneejerk disdain for pharmaceutical greed to celebrate some chest-thumping news here in Latrobe.
Our local country club is featured in what to me is the “Gone With The Wind” of pharmaceutical commercials, a 90-second epic of sweeping drama, humor and potential side effects which may include bleeding, fainting, itching, muscle
We’re putting an emphatic pause on this blog’s kneejerk disdain for pharmaceutical greed to celebrate some chest-thumping news here in Latrobe.
Our local country club is featured in what to me is the “Gone With The Wind” of pharmaceutical commercials, a 90-second epic of sweeping drama, humor and potential side effects which may include bleeding, fainting, itching, muscle
October 22, 2015
Beer madness: craft brew craze getting out of hand
(725 words)
I hate to start the day with such a potentially divisive statement, but I’m convinced things are getting out of hand. People are behaving irrationally.
Trump’s sustained lead in GOP polls?
Worse.
I’m about to say bad things about beer.
Let that sink in for a sec.
It’s like Roger Goodell admitting every NFL telecast is 90 percent commercials, shots of people standing/
I hate to start the day with such a potentially divisive statement, but I’m convinced things are getting out of hand. People are behaving irrationally.
Trump’s sustained lead in GOP polls?
Worse.
I’m about to say bad things about beer.
Let that sink in for a sec.
It’s like Roger Goodell admitting every NFL telecast is 90 percent commercials, shots of people standing/
October 21, 2015
Elton vs. Billy Joel & writing way too much
(911 words)
I don’t pay much attention to celebrity news about people I don’t consider to be celebrities. I’m talking about the Khardashians.
But I’m always intrigued anytime big rock stars get bitchy.
So I for years have followed the bitter back and forth between Billy Joel and Elton John, two artists I greatly admire for both their music and attitude.
Both have influential catalogues
I don’t pay much attention to celebrity news about people I don’t consider to be celebrities. I’m talking about the Khardashians.
But I’m always intrigued anytime big rock stars get bitchy.
So I for years have followed the bitter back and forth between Billy Joel and Elton John, two artists I greatly admire for both their music and attitude.
Both have influential catalogues
