Dylan Malik Orchard's Blog, page 30

Soon to be extinct…

A random image for the day by Andy Council

Crashed America – Coming Soo-…

… oh wait, it’s already arrived. Yes folks Crashed America has been up and available for nigh on 24 hours now and, as the sky hasn’t fallen and I haven’t thrown myself out of the window in despair I’d say it’s all going fairly well. Of course as I live on the ground floor that doesn’t necessarily mean much.

Today and many days to come are set to be consumed by frenetic attempts to spread the good word and get people to check the book out. I’m already practising my Evangelical preacher’s perma-grin and gradually building up to the point of standing up on buses and asking rush hour commuters whether or not they’ve heard the ‘good word’.  So keep an eye out for that on your way back from work and be sure to ask for a signed copy before I become ‘awkward’ and they have to throw me off.

Work wise I’m thinking on what to do next, a podcast/radio short is in the pipeline as well as some short stories that fit somewhere around Crashed America but too soon to say which’ll come first. For now though, back to that proselytizing…

Crashed America is… HERE!

Crashed America is formally, finally and irrevocably available from a retailer near you as of today! Available as both an ebook and paperback you’re (almost) spoilt for choice when it comes to reading what critics are calling ‘a book, definitely a book‘. And at the low low price of $3.99/£3.08 (ebook) or $9.99/£7.99 (paperback) you’d literally be ruining your own life if you didn’t get it.  Hell, the last person who didn’t buy this book ended their days in a flop house in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania – a needle in their arm, a dope fiend stealing their shoes and the last traces of hope shattered in their crying eyes. And you wouldn’t want that now would you?

You can find Crashed America in your format of choice at:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

Smashwords

Amazon (Paperback)

When Joe sets off for those United States of America he has a whole list of plans, dreams, schemes and delusions to be lived out against an idealised Americana backdrop. Killing Jesus isn’t exactly among them but, as ever, life does its own thing. 

After crashing in Alabama Joe finds himself caught up in the prelude to the End of Days, with the Devil on one side, a Hillbilly clan on the other and the whole spectrum of crazy in between – from a Satanic Reagan to good old boys Waco and ET. None of which makes any sense to him, or his new found companion the born again atheist Father Fitzpatrick but with enough moonshine, guns, nuns, demons and backwoods mysticism he might just make it through. Although the rest of the world might not. A mix between dark comedy, absurdity, explosions and the obligatory sex and drugs ‘Crashed America’ is my debut (full length) novel.

And, to make a struggling Indie writer happy, be sure to spread the word on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and your social outlet of choice (maybe even the real world?). As well as reviewing it if you like it, following me and signing up to the mailing list. These things, whilst quick and easy, make all the difference.

So, to mark the occasion have some Johnny Cash, because you deserve it.

Crashed America – 1 DAY!

Rumour has it that the ancient Celts predicted that the end of the world would come on May 1st 2014 – they were at least part right. Momentous things are a’coming; times they are’a changing, a bad moon is rising, God’s gonna cut you down, the Devil really has gone down to ‘Bama and heavenly hosts have started sharpening those flaming swords and getting ready to kick ass and chew gum. And they’re all out of gum, until they go to the shops at least.

No, the world isn’t ending, reading the entrails those wily Druids saw nothing mentioned about that but the release of Crashed America on the other hand was writ large amidst the blood and guts. Exciting, no?

Exactly what comes after the novel is shrouded in mystery. For me, I suspect, many weeks of sending e-mails, harassing strangers and nail biting uncertainty as to how things are going. And for you, if you buy a copy or have had the good (mis?)fortunate to see an advance – well if you’d do a struggling writer a favour it’d be much appreciated. Write a review, mention it on Facebook/Twitter/Google+/Pinterest/latest-social-media-site -I-don’t-understand, tell a friend and shout it from the rooftops. For any Indie writer this is the exceedingly hard part and any help you can give makes you a better person, or at least a less bad one.

Anyway, on to today’s musical accompaniment which today comes courtesy of a band who were a very long way from Alabama but who had at least a little Americana in their veins. It’s the 22-20s from Sleaford, Lincolnshire (no, me neither) with ‘Devil In Me’ – which seems pretty fitting for a book about Jesus getting got and the Devil getting his due (or not).

Crashed America – 2 Days

Today – The Fugs. Coming out of the same era as Tim Leary, Robert Anton Wilson and a shitload of Acid, The Fugs are a long running favourite of mine. Tuli Kupferberg, lyricist and poet, had a knack for the sublime, the surreal and the nonsense, which is pretty much the perfect blend as far as I’m concerned. Only tenuous links to Crashed America the story but the spirit of the music is one I’d like to think my writing shares, although you’ll have to judge that for yourselves.

If you like what you hear and find yourself looking for more I’d recommend their ‘First Album’, especially ‘Nothing’, ‘Defeated’ and ‘Couldn’t Get High’, none of which would qualify as upbeat lyrical ditties but all of which have something to them. Almost makes a soul want to turn Discordian.

As for the novel, soon come brethren. ‘I’s are dotted, ‘T’s are crossed and now it’s just a couple more days until I go on a heroic celebratory drinking binge and you buy it. I hope… if you don’t mind…

Crashed America – 3 Days

If you’re on a Country kick then it’s bound to happen sooner or later. You can amble far and wide, from Bill Monroe to the Old Crow Medicine Show but like an addict reaching for that bottle there’s an inevitability about these things. Eventually you will end up with Hank Williams Senior (seriously, screw Junior). Not only is he the legend amongst legends but his brand of of heartfelt, human Country remains arguably the most affecting and emotive out there. Plus he made some straight up cool songs, like the one below.

On the Crashed America front today marked the confirmation of the print copy, with all the myriad pitfalls of pricing it (still a bargain, don’t worry) and the doing of mundane things which were of very little interest to me let alone anyone else. So a bit of Hank should ease the boredom nicely…

Crashed America – 4 Days

4 days? Has a slightly terrifying ring to it eh? More final checks today, weeding out minor mistakes, smiling at my favourite bits of the book – and then being slightly surprised that I still have favourite bits after reading it 50 or so times. Not a bad position to be in I reckon.

Anyway today’s musical interlude is brought to you by a jet powered mandolin and one of the finest musicians to ever pluck a string – the late, great Bill Monroe. This is one of those fine songs which both makes you wish you could play an instrument and delivers the decisive hammer blow of letting you know that you’ll probably never, ever be as good as a true master. The lyrical subject is based in some aspect of way back American politics that I know nothing about, despite being able to make a solid attempt at remembering all the words when I’ve had a drink or two and the mood is on me. But when it comes to music a lack of understanding should never be viewed as a problem.

Bill Monroe died only a few years back if memory serves so whilst it doesn’t amount to much I’d like to dedicate this little post to him. As well as attributing a small portion of my ability to soldier through the creation of Crashed America to his work and the effect it had on my weary, word blind brain.

Crashed America – 5 Days

Now granted I’m more of a rum drinker but on those rare occasions where I feel the need to glare through the bottom of a glass/bottle of whiskey this is the music I do it to. I was introduced to Murder by Death by a good friend of mine whose mind is, for the most part, sitting outside a cabin in the back of beyond sipping some bourbon and fingering a Smith & Wesson just in case the gubment come calling. But then he is a writer and his physical form is generally stuck in front of a screen grinding his way through his (long awaited) magnum opus, which just goes to show that the mind is bigger than the moment. The bourbon part, however, he has done to a fine, drunken art.

Today I’ve mostly been shirking responsibility and glancing admiringly at the proof copy of Crashed America. I find it’s far easier to do that than open it and start getting actual work done but with just 5 days to go I’m going to have to leap into action soon enough. For now though, a glass of something and a song…

Crashed America – 6 Days

A twofer in the countdown today because I started listening to the New Lost City Ramblers and in their ocean deep catalogue of nearly lost American folk it’s hard to pick a favourite. Plus this afternoon I received the proof copy of Crashed America after obsessively tracking it through Cincinnati, Charleston, Birmingham, Heathrow and finally into my own two hands – a cause for celebration if ever there was one. That it took me about two seconds to notice a superfluous apostrophe is just an added bonus of course. And beyond that it’s looking mighty fine, mighty fine indeed.

In recognition of yesterday’s Brad Paisley fuelled pessimism I’ve mixed it up today by having one slightly grim tune followed by some random fiddlin’ and gleeful nonsense. Both worth hearing in their own way. I’d also recommend delving further into the New Lost City Rambler’s archives for more oddities salvaged from the olden days. Including the always questionable ‘It’s a Shame to Beat Your Wife (on a Sunday)’, the no money lament ‘How Can a Poor Man Stand Such Times and Live?’ and ‘Bill Morgan and his Girl’, a lesson to us all in the virtues of being tight.

Likes Liquor Better Than Me by The New Lost City Ramblers on Grooveshark

Johnny Get Your Gun by The New Lost City Ramblers on Grooveshark

Crashed America – 7 Days

A lot of Americans seem to intensely dislike Brad Paisley and I have no idea why. Granted all I know about him is that he’s apparently bought himself a Wrestling federation and that he made this song which appears frequently in the TV show Justified. For all I know he might have a sideline in drowning babies and kicking puppies but fortunately that doesn’t make this any lesser a song.

I know there’s no shortage of heart string tugging nostalgia and romanticism here. But given the history of Harlan County and the depredations visited on it by the rich and the powerful a bit of emotional grandstanding is fair enough. And if you don’t know the history I fully recommend delving into the background around the miners’ strikes and pursuit of unionisation that took place there. Some very proud and very neglected parts of American history buried in there.

Anyway Crashed America is set the in the true South – Alabama, in a town called Hetsaw. So the musical connection in this instance is a slightly tenuous one – but some spirits work equally well whether you see them from the darker parts of history or the darker and stranger parts of fiction. Although I can guarantee with at least 97% certainty that there’s more laughs to be had from the book than from this song which I was once told is the most miserable ever made. Although I disagree with that to this day.