Hannah Brencher's Blog, page 2

Aphorao: A Reminder for the Distracted Soul

My mom finds God in sunsets, and I see him in language.

In rich sentences strung together. In beautiful phrases. In words that make you want to crack them open– dig beneath the surface– to see if something unexpected might be waiting for you.

My friend Jane Johnson taught me this. Nearly a decade ago, I heard her speak for the first time from a stage, and I remember thinking, “I want that. I want what she has.”

It wasn’t in a jealous way. She simply had this thick, palpable passion for the Word of God. She spoke about God like they had secret handshakes and miles of history marked by prayer journals and hidden places.

Over the days to come, Jane taught me how to study the Bible for the first time. I remember feeling like something had been missing my whole life, and suddenly, I was holding this essential piece. She gave me the tools to crack words and phrases open—in Hebrew and Greek. She taught me to follow cross-references around the Bible like a string game in a cat’s cradle. And my life and my faith have never been the same since.

Just the other day, I was preparing a message on Hebrews 11 and 12 when I came across this line I’ve read countless times before in Hebrews 12:

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

But as I dug deeper into this verse– word by word– I caught a glimmer of something I’d never noticed before.

The phrase “looking unto” is a verb in Greek, “aphorao.” This is not the phrase for someone taking a picture and saying, “Look at me.” That’s not what the author is prompting us with here.

We don’t have a phrase like this in the English language. The closest we might get to it is the word “fix, ” meaning “to fix your eyes onto something.”

But this is something different. Something more tender and intimate.

 

Look at the literal definition of Aphorao from the Blue Letter Bible:

“To turn the eyes away from other things and fix them on something.”

This phrase is not about simply looking to Jesus. It is about actively removing one’s eyes from other things and fixing them back on Jesus.

Off of the status.

Off of the anxiety.

Off of the striving.

Off of the numbers.

Off of the distractions.

 

 

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I can’t help but smile over this detail. It’s almost like God knew that we’d drift. That we’d look away. We’d be distracted by other things- other gods- other golden-glinted spectacles. And so he encapsulated our distractedness into a phrase that gently tells the hearer: Aphorao, as in:

 “Hey- I know there are other things, and I know you’re tempted to keep your eyes on them because it makes you feel like you have more control, but the peace won’t come with your eyes in that direction.

Turn your eyes away from those other things and fix them back onto me. Keep looking at me. I promise it’s better.

When it feels heavy, bring your focus back to me.

When it feels impossible, fix your eyes back on me.

When you don’t know the next step, turn your gaze back to me.

I’m right here. I haven’t left. You’ve been distracted, but my focus has only ever been on you and how much I want to lovingly guide you into what’s coming next. I want to be with you each step. I want to stand with you in each fire. I’m not going anywhere. My presence is constant and overwhelming– it goes before you, follows behind you, and covers you like an oversized sweater.

Don’t be afraid. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. Peace comes from looking in my direction.

Take your eyes off that thing and fix them back onto me. I don’t care if you have to do this one, ten, or 52 times today. I welcome all the shifts because I welcome you. And I love you. And I want you to run from that place.”

p.s.

When God gives you an idea.

For the tired mama who is missing her quiet time.

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A Lesson in Molting: What Birds Teach Us About Letting Go

 

Years ago, while researching a creative writing project, I came across a concept called “molting.”

Molting is a fascinating biological process in which birds shed old feathers to grow new ones. Although many animals undergo this process, I first discovered it because of birds.

Over the seasons, their feathers become worn out and tarnished, so they shed the old in preparation for a new coat—for more durable feathers and the ability to keep flying.

I was immediately entranced by this concept—how animals have miraculous, regenerative functions laced into their DNA. If you look closely, it’s as if this whole world operates in cycles and seasons.

When I would pick a feather up off the ground as a child, I used to think it was a bird losing a part of itself. It turns out that the shedding is a surrender already hardwired into their system. Losing feathers is part of the process. When I see a feather, it’s a reminder that we all lose beautiful things. It’s a necessary part of the life cycle.

 

…

Birds need to molt once a year to remove old or damaged feathers.

What a redemptive idea—that the old and no longer usable would fall off to make room for something new, something coming up ahead. As the birds release one old thing, something new suddenly has room to sprout and grow. 

Yet here’s another bird tidbit I was surprised to discover: in some cases, when a molting is intense, a bird might temporarily lose its ability to fly. It’s grounded for a little while. This is called “synchronized molting,” where the bird is grounded for a season to grow new feathers. The grounding isn’t permanent– it’s a requirement for a fresh flight ahead. They mean even take to hiding away in a secretive place while the process occurs. But the shedding is critical for their survival.

 

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The moment I learned of molting, I thought to myself, “This is such a beautiful takeaway. Not just for the birds but for us.”

I love the idea that we’re not meant to be stagnant. We’ve been made for renewal. Renewal requires letting go of the old to reach the new.

Renewal sometimes means daring to shed what’s no longer for us– the things holding us back. 

Words spoken over our lives.

Outdated mindsets.

Misconceptions.

Expired opinions.

Fears and losses.

People we loved but who we can no longer carry.

Old storylines.

We’re changing all the time. Don’t you see how beautiful and terrifying that is?

We shed.

We peel.

We molt.

We cast off.

We release.

We transform.

But here’s the thing: birds will lose their feathers. It’s inevitable. What is no longer for them will be released through flight or nature. But we humans have a great propensity to hold on past an expiration. And so maybe that’s the invitation: that we would learn to release what is no longer for us– not in the standing still but in the moving forward- in the flight.

 

…

So this is where I lean in and I tell you:

I know it’s a little scary, but you can make room for new things to grow. You can believe something more is coming your way. And that might mean opening up your hands and releasing the grip to prepare for the great What’s Next.

And if you feel grounded right now– like nothing is happening and you’re off on the sidelines– take heart, little bird. This isn’t forever. This isn’t going to be your story for good. You might just be going through the molting– losing what you needed to lose to become who you’ve most needed to become.

So we shed.

We let go.

We sometimes feel a little grounded. But the little bird in us knows with great assurance, “This isn’t forever. This is just a season. I’m going to fly again soon.” 

May it be so for the birds.

May it be so for us, too.

p.s.

In need of a soul reset? Here’s my booklist.

Read me when you need a reminder that things fall into place.

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Need a Soul Reset? Here’s Your Booklist.

I had a reader reach out to me the other day to tell me she was going on what she calls a soul reset weekend and she wondered if I could recommend some books for her.

Can we all pause for one second and say that this idea of a soul reset weekend sounds so beautiful and glorious?!

Whether it’s a weekend getaway to escape the noise or a DIY recharge weekend at home, I’m entirely on board with the idea of a soul reset in our current cultural climate.

It reminds me of one of my favorite Anne Lamott quotes: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

In my mind, a soul reset weekend looks like resting, napping, unplugging, journaling, reading in the sunshine, reflecting, and all the things that we don’t get to do in the busyness of life. It looks like a coffee shop date with yourself and a fresh journal as you peek into the back end of your life and reevaluate or reprioritize some areas.

But back to the girl in my DMs who was going on her soul reset weekend.

She asked if I had any solid book recommendations, and I decided it was time to create a soul reset book list.

So, without further ado, here are the books I would recommend for a soul reset weekend:The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence

You can read this tiny book in under two hours, but it feels like an instant soul reset every time I pick it up. It consistently draws me back to what matters and why living awake and aware is the key to peace and deep joy. If I were doing a soul recharge weekend, this would be the first book I would start with.

Practicing the Way, by John Mark Comer 

Now, I have to be honest about this one. I have not personally gotten to read this book the whole way through, but my husband has, and I’ve read bits and pieces. I feel confident enough to recommend anything by John Mark Comer to be on this list.

While I may say The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry is the perfect title for a soul recharge, I feel like Practicing the Way carries the same kind of vibe, weight, and necessity as Comer’s other books. 

You really can’t go wrong if John Mark Comer is attending your soul reset weekend.

Take What You Need, by Aundi Kolber 

I love Aundi. I love her outlook on life. I love her grace-filled words. I literally got this book in the mail a few weeks ago, opened it up to a random page, and started reading. And I’m not kidding you—it was all about healing. It was the exact words I needed to hear on that specific day about my own healing journey.So, if you want little bits of good words and encouragement sprinkled into your soul, pick up this book by Aundi.

window.fd('form', { formId: '6735566c1000a77625171406', containerEl: '#fd-form-6735566c1000a77625171406' });Love Your Life, by Rachel Awtrey

This book doesn’t arrive til August, but I would be adding it to my cart right now if I were you. I love Rachel with my whole heart. I got the chance to do an endorsement for this book and I was taking furious notes from the start.

This book is perfect for anyone who needs a soul reset and a little more joy in their daily lives. If you really want to amplify your life with a little bit more color, this would be the perfect book for you. It is all about unlocking joy in life’s messy, mundane, and magnificent moments. Amen.

Ordering Your Private World, by Gordon McDonald 

I recommend this book every chance I get. It’s on every book list that I’ve ever compiled. I’m currently reading it for the 600th time. I’m just kidding. It’s not really 600 times (more like 10). But every time I read it, I find something new that applies to my exact season.

This book is perfect for the person who feels like life is overwhelming, chaotic, and disorganized right now.

There’s too much noise. You’re too distracted. Your inner world needs a tune-up, or, better yet, you need to create an inner world for the very first time.

If you’re tucking yourself away for a little soul reset weekend, this book will get to the heart of the question: What would it look like to step back into daily life, feeling like your time, stewardship, resources, and relationships are more balanced? And that all comes from ordering your private world.

The Unplugged Hours, by Hannah Brencher

This is a shameless plug for my book, but part of what I imagine goes into a soul recharge weekend is turning off your phone. We’ve become so addicted to noise that it is in literally every little thing that we do. And so, for many of us, that requires stepping away from the noise to get back to the person who was there before all that noise got in in the first place.

That’s why I recommend this book. If you want to examine the ways in which technology is distracting us and dig deeper to find the root of all the noise, this is the book you want on your list.

Come Away My Beloved, by Frances Roberts 

My friend Dawn gave me this book years ago when I was recovering from severe depression. All these years, it’s still one of my favorite devotionals. It’s literally one of those books you can open to any page, take what you need, and feel refreshed—be reminded that God loves you and that God is walking steadily with you.

It’s such a classic, and I recommend it for a soul reset weekend or just everyday life.

A Cry for Mercy, by Henri Nouwen 

This is actually a book of prayers, so again, there’s that same vibe of opening up to a random page and seeing what’s there for you.

But Henri Nouwen was among the first people I learned how to write prayers from. I would study his writing and how his prayers were so honest and real, and then I would script my own.

I imagine that during a soul recharge weekend, it could be a really helpful practice to take some of the things you’re dealing with, the heavy and the hard and the good and the great, and script them into honest prayers for God. This book will definitely help you get started in that area. It reminds me, whenever I flip it open, that I am allowed to be honest, messy, and real with God. He wants me just as I am.

The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri Nouwen 

At this point, it’s clear we’re not having a recharge weekend without Mr. Nouwen coming along. All in favor, say aye.

Another brilliant piece of work, this book actually comes from Henri’s private journals. It’s one to read in small doses—each tiny chapter is both a pep talk and a drink of water all on its own. These notes were written during a time of deep soul depression when Henri was struggling, and he wrote these words as imperatives—to remind himself of the goodness of God, the beauty of life, and the truth that he was stronger than his own thoughts and feelings.

This was one of the first books I picked up from Henri Nouwen, and it’s absolutely a favorite.

Create Anyway, by Ashley Gadd

This one is specifically for the mamas and anyone feeling creatively drained.

I love Ashley Gadd with my whole heart and soul. I would follow her anywhere and read her grocery lists.

This book will help you recharge your creativity and get back to the basics of writing, making, baking—whatever your creative practice looks like. I’m a big believer that we are all creative beings and that we should all be flexing these muscles, but if you need a guide in this area, Ashley Gadd is absolutely the one.

Anonymous, by Alicia Britt Chole 

Fair warning—this book feels like a demolition to your soul. It hurts SO good. If you’re in a season of grappling with feeling unseen or unnoticed, this book will feel like a balm to your weary soul. Every sentence will take you to church—trust me on this.

This book has changed my life more than once, and I have no doubt it will do the same for you.

Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Niequist 

Anything Shauna writes is pure gold. What I love about her writing is that she’s never trying to fix you or even necessarily change you. She’s just sharing stories from the heart; somehow, you find yourself in each one.

Shauna is one of the best writers out there. She’s so grace-filled and so kind, and she works so intentionally to fill her life with beauty. I can’t imagine a soul reset weekend without her words of wisdom.

p.s.

The Art of Turndown Service: My Nightly Ritual For More Peace + Coziness

Resources for Creating a Richer Prayer Life.

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The Art of Turndown Service: My Nightly Ritual For More Peace + Coziness

Several years ago, I started a nightly ritual in our home that I fondly call “Turndown Service.”

The inspiration came from a vacation I took years ago to a resort in Mexico where you were given a concierge to text whenever you needed something.

On the first day of the trip, I was introduced to the concept of “turndown service.”

After a day spent lounging by the pool, you could text the concierge to request turndown service. They’d send someone to reset the room—dim the lights, arrange the bed, and even draw a bubble bath on the patio if I wanted. Honestly, I still dream about that nightly ritual.

What seemed like the epitome of hospitality turned out to be a practice with much deeper roots. According to my research, turndown service dates back to the 19th century, when luxury hotels in Europe introduced it as a way to help guests unwind and retire for the night.

Back in reality—a world where I am, in fact, the concierge—I decided to start my own turndown service ritual, and it sort of just stuck. I loved the feeling of stepping into a space after it had been “turned down,” and I realized I could create that space for myself and others.

I even spotted the turndown service, perfectly summed up, while I was reading Wedding People (which was utterly fantastic):

“It is nice, this ritual. She likes that there is a specific phrase for it, this turning down of the room, this recognition that night is something we must prepare for. Because the night is hard.” -Alison Espach

Yes, this. Night is something we must prepare for.

We create some routines out of necessity, while others we have to work hard to establish. Then, some seem to come naturally—something deep within our spirit whispers, “I need this. This is important.”

That’s what turndown service is for me.

I go from room to room in the house, resetting and preparing for the night ahead.

I pick up and put away.

I tidy and wipe down.

I reset and set the space—turning on lamps, closing blinds, lighting candles.

We already love practicing hygge in our home, so this ritual feels like a natural extension. “Hygge is a Danish concept that captures a sense of coziness, contentment, and joy in life’s little pleasures. It’s not just a feeling—it’s a lifestyle. It’s about creating warmth and savoring simple moments like sitting by the fire, enjoying a cup of tea, or spending time with loved ones.

A Note on Adding New Routines

I have a lot of goals, visions, and “Heck, yeah, I want to do that” moments.

But if I’m being candid, left to my own devices, I wouldn’t follow through on any of them.

The power of routine-building and habit-tracking allows me to take these big, lofty visions and break them down into small, actionable steps every day. 

(p.s. There is NO shame if you struggle to create routines and habits. That’s many of us, and there’s a better, shame-free way to make them.)

I added turndown service to my habit tracker back on January 1 and haven’t looked back since. Does that mean I’ve never missed a day? Nope. Consistency isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up continually (even when you miss days).

For years, I’d dreamed of creating a tidy, cozy home—one that radiated peace and calm, where the door was always open for others to seek solace from the storms of life. I’m the type of person who believes that blankets laid out, tea brewing, and candles glowing can help create that kind of space.

But the reality didn’t match the dream. I’d spend hours cleaning, only to feel like it was never enough. I kept thinking that a new lamp or another set of clear organizing cubes from Homegoods would be the solution.

It wasn’t until I created a routine that fit the dream that the dream became a reality. And here’s the best part: that routine didn’t cost me a dime. It only required my willingness to stick with it.

As I began designing and following through on this routine, those overwhelming feelings of chaos started to fade. Now, whenever I feel weighed down by the state of the house, I remind myself, “I’ll handle that later in turndown service.”

window.fd('form', { formId: '673554f57d3f85bd8cd933e0', containerEl: '#fd-form-673554f57d3f85bd8cd933e0' });My Turndown Service Ritual

I don’t recall the exact first time I drafted my own turndown service, but I’m fairly certain I started with just a 15-minute window of time after dinner. I’m a strong believer in the power of 15 minutes, so I probably set a timer and began with a simple reset of the kitchen or living room after we finished our meal at the table.

I love to set the kitchen timer and tuck my phone away for the turndown service. I put on my sneakers—it’s a great way to get an extra bit of steps in, and I get to work.

Over time, the ritual has changed in a few ways:I typically do turndown service between 4 and 5 p.m, no longer after dinner. I like this time of day because it’s sandwiched between a busy work day and the evening ahead. Some might wonder why I don’t reserve it for a post-bedtime routine, but I believe the magic of the night—and the comfort it brings—is meant for all of us. You’re never too young to experience the coziness of turndown service.As for the routine itself, it’s longer now. When I slip into turndown mode at the end of the day, I set a 60-minute timer. I don’t always need the full hour, but there’s something about the span of that time that feels right. This ritual has oddly become my “me-time.” I look forward to it, knowing it’s my signal to slow down, step away from work, and reset for the night ahead.It’s also a chance to practice presence. To be honest, when I first started doing turndown service, I would plug into Crime Junkie or another podcast and multitask while tidying up. But lately, I’ve found that doing it unplugged brings me a sense of peace. It’s a time to pray, think, reflect, or just let my mind wander. It feels like a well-deserved pause from the noise of the day. Sometimes, I’ll play classical music or worship softly in the background while Novalee plays nearby as I go about my routine. It’s a flow of sorts.Some of the Tasks I Tackle in Turndown Service include:Putting stuff awayClearing off countertopsClosing blindsMaking beds (have I mastered the habit of making the bed first thing in the morning? Nope. Am I still a functioning human? Yup.).Putting on lamps + lighting candlesFolding blankets + clearing table topsUnboxing packagesMaking lunches for the next day

I try not to make this too rigid since every day has its own flow. These are just my go-to tasks. Some days I’ll add flowers to Novi’s room or tidy up my office. Other times, I might prep a care package or take a quiet moment for tea. It’s less about checking off a list and more about finding a rhythm. I don’t have a formal checklist for turndown service—my goal is simply to make the space ready for the night. Because the night is something we should prepare for. Because the night is hard. Because the night is the starting line for the day to come.

Quick Tips:For moms of little ones, this simple shift has been a total game-changer. I keep a wireframe basket tucked by our front door, and when it’s time for my turndown routine, I gather anything that needs to go upstairs—plastic dress-up shoes, magic wands, stray shoes by the door, even bills that need to make their way to my office—and toss them in. Once I’ve reset the downstairs, I bring the basket upstairs, unload it, and then repeat the process with anything that needs to come back down. This way, I’m not running up and down the stairs all evening, and as long as the clutter has a temporary home, it’s easy to drop everything where it belongs.For the items that don’t have a designated spot—mainly artwork, trinkets, and random art supplies—I’ll admit, I don’t have the mental energy to come up with storage solutions for everything. My daughter is a creative spirit, and if you have a little one like her, you know exactly what I mean by “things.” For now, I’ve repurposed a gift bag from my closet and use it to collect her latest creations and treasures. I leave it in her room, and in a few weeks, I’ll go through it and toss anything that hasn’t been used or touched. It’s a no-fuss way to manage the clutter without feeling overwhelmed.When I first introduced the idea of turndown service, I received a lot of questions about “What do you do about dinner?” I want to emphasize that what works for me and my family may not be the best approach for everyone. In our home, my husband does most of the cooking, but on the nights when I cook, I still do the turndown service before preparing dinner because I prefer to have a clean space. (Full transparency: I can get easily overwhelmed by cooking, so I usually go for a simple crockpot meal.) We typically eat dinner later and prefer having it after turndown service so we can relax while we eat, but it might make more sense for you to do it after dinner!

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My January Habit Tracker: What Worked, What Didn’t, and What’s Next

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while because I’m always asked about my habits, routines, and rhythms. I promise I’m not overly obsessed with them, but I do take them seriously—especially from a mental health perspective. Over the years, I’ve learned how crucial they are in helping me stay healthy and thrive, especially in managing depression and anxiety.

People might be surprised to know I’m not naturally disciplined. I have to work really hard to build self-discipline. I was joking with a friend recently that I’m definitely an ‘all or nothing’ person—especially as a creative. If I don’t track something—like my steps or how much water I drink—then I literally won’t do it at all. I can swing from a gallon a day to being my most dehydrated self in one day. But what’s helped me in this area is focusing on small, consistent actions I can repeat and track over time.

I’m growing every day, but I’m also working hard to shift away from the ‘all or nothing’ mindset that has driven me for so long.

And now, without further ado, here’s the breakdown of my habits for January 2025 with some habit formation notes sprinkled in:

The HabitsPrayer Journal- 93.5% (NEW HABIT)Dry January- 100% (NEW HABIT)Daily Step Goal- 87.1%

​​This one was pretty easy to maintain since I’ve developed the habit over the past two years of taking frequent breaks from work to walk around the block. It only got tricky on the really cold, snowy days in January, but I felt so empowered putting on my weighted vest and braving the cold to show up for myself.

Morning Meeting- 93.5%

You can learn more about my morning meetings here.

80 oz H2O- 87.1%Turndown Service- 80.6% (days I missed were typically weekends!)

I’m planning to write a larger blog post about our turndown service, but basically, it’s a nightly routine where we flip the house into ‘evening mode.’ It’s a time to clear clutter, put things away, light candles, and pull out the cozy blankets. We’re big on coziness in our house, and the turndown service is the perfect way for us to transition from work mode to rest mode.

Strength Training (3 x a week)- 66.7%

This one is still really tricky for me. I’m proud of myself for strength training, but there hasn’t been a single day where I’ve actually looked forward to it. Instead of trying to completely overhaul this area of my life, in December I committed to doing three strength training workouts a week. Aside from one week, I’ve stuck to that goal. Given how challenging this habit has been for me to build, I feel pretty good about that.

Practice Journaling- 93.5%

I’m not typically a journaler, which surprises a lot of people. But this month, I did something different: I shared my word of the year with ChatGPT, explaining why I chose it, and then asked for 31 journal prompts to help me explore it more deeply. I can’t recommend this enough. The prompts were incredibly inspiring—they got me thinking outside the box and made journaling so much easier because I had a clear direction to follow.

Read 50 Books this year- 100%Take Supplements- 90.3%Declutter- 83.9%

This habit worked really well for me because I didn’t feel the pressure to declutter an entire area every single day. The other day, I spent a few minutes organizing my Canva account and deleting old files. Old me would have never considered that decluttering, but current me is all about it. Every little bit counts!

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It’s honestly shocking to admit, but I’ve never done this before. I’m sharing this because this space is about being candid and honest with you. As someone who tends to think in ‘all or nothing’ terms, I’ve often approached habit tracking in the same way. If I saw a streak of missed days or a habit I hadn’t stuck to, I’d immediately feel like the whole month was a failure and I should just give up on tracking altogether.

But this year, I made a simple rule for myself: I would embrace an 80/20 mindset. I committed to cultivating my habits 80% of the time, allowing room for the 20%—for the days when life happens: sick days, days with less sleep, snow days.

When I applied the 80/20 mentality to a month with 31 days, it worked out to about six days where I could miss a habit without feeling like I was failing. So, for example, if my goal was to walk 10,000 steps a day, I could miss six days and still be living within that 80/20 mindset.

This has been a total game changer for me. I’ve always followed the 80/20 principle when it comes to diet, but I never thought to apply it to other areas of my life. As a mom with a million things on my plate, it’s unrealistic to think I’m always going to nail every day—to always hit my step goal or sit down for quiet time.

Since implementing this simple rule, I feel a sense of freedom I didn’t expect. It’s motivated me to keep going even after I’ve had days where I don’t feel like I’m showing up as the best version of myself.

Dry January

A dry January wasn’t even on my radar at first. I’m not a big drinker, but I enjoy a glass of red wine occasionally. Over time, I realized I had developed a habit of turning to wine or a cocktail to unwind after a long day. By the time December wrapped up—literally on New Year’s Eve—I felt like it was time to do a dry January. I didn’t expect it to have such a huge impact, but it’s honestly been one of the best decisions I’ve made for my mental health in a long time. Now, I’m even questioning whether I want to go back to drinking at all.

I’m curious to dive deeper into resources about sobriety. But for anyone reading this and wondering if they should take a month off alcohol, I can’t recommend it enough. The benefits are immediate and start to stack up over time. It takes your body a little while to detox from alcohol fully, and I’ve noticed the positive changes only continue to grow as the days go by.

Only One New Thing

Many of the habits I track are ones I’ve either got on semi-auto pilot or have been cultivating consistently for a few months. But this month, I challenged myself by adding ONLY one habit entirely outside my usual routine: writing in my five-year prayer journal. I got this journal back in 2023, and I’ve barely used it. But my friend Dawn has been faithfully cultivating this practice, and I’ve seen the amazing fruit of her consistency. She’s really building a beautiful, longstanding legacy of prayer.

What I love about this journal is its simplicity. It only asks for a small paragraph of prayer each day, and once you fill it out, you can check it off the list. It doesn’t feel overwhelming, just a brief but meaningful moment of reflection and prayer.

I’ve always been a big fan of prayer and love recommending prayer journals, but this year, I’m taking a little intermission from my usual practice to focus on this one. What excites me is that, with this journal, you can pray about anything, and I’m already getting giddy thinking about how cool it will be to look back on the prayers I’ve written a year from now. It’s like building a tangible record of God’s favor and provision in my life.

I think this is going to be a really sweet discipline for me. But I know it will take long obedience in the same direction, and I’ve never felt more ready for the challenge.

Things I Learned + What’s NextDay 19

OK, researchers weren’t kidding about this one. Day 19 is often where people start to fall off when it comes to setting resolutions, building new habits, or establishing new routines—and I can fully attest to that. Days 20 to 25 were especially tough. Maybe it was because January felt like it would never end, but that’s when I really wanted to quit. That’s when I was incredibly grateful for the 80/20 mentality. During that time, I felt not even compelled to track my habits.

So, if you’re trying to build new rhythms and disciplines, be warned: Day 19 and the following days are tough. Don’t be surprised if you feel like giving up or even want to quit altogether. Something in the air during that time makes it feel more challenging. But trust me, if you push through and stick with it past this threshold, the breakthrough is right around the corner.

No Business Goals?!

Full transparency: I didn’t set a single business goal. That wasn’t my intention, but every time I thought about it, I kept hearing my intuition telling me to just keep doing what I was doing—not to add anything else to the mix. I had planned to set a bigger vision for January, but that didn’t happen. January was about enough-ness and knowing when to say “no” to more things. I feel pretty good about that!

So, for February, I’m brainstorming some daily habits that will help me start moving the needle forward in my business, like growing my email list and finally diving into Pinterest.

I Want to Hear From You!

Overall, January was a really great month of habit tracking. I feel pretty proud of myself—if I can stick to these habits during a month that felt like it lasted 457 days, then February should be even easier! I’m already brainstorming new habits and getting ready to print out a fresh tracker for the month ahead!

If you want to track your own habits, you can grab my free habit tracker download. And if you have any questions about habit formation or discipline, feel free to leave them in the comments—I’d love to answer them for you!

One last thing: Did you enjoy this habit report? Would you like me to continue sharing them? I geek out over the data and genuinely enjoyed putting this together, but I always want to make sure my writing is helpful and serving those who read it. 

Let me know what you think!

Happy habit tracking!

p.s.

If you ever feel like you need a nudge in creating habits you love, tag me in. I teach you everything I know about habit formation and building dream routines in my course Your Routine Overhaul. I would love to have you in class! You can get started for $29 today!

The post My January Habit Tracker: What Worked, What Didn’t, and What’s Next appeared first on Blog.

Count the Ravens: A Note On Depending On God

Years ago, while battling severe depression, I came across the story of Elijah and the ravens for the first time.

Elijah was one of God’s prophets, and scholars often believe that he experienced depression throughout his ministry.

During a severe famine in the land, and after a difficult mission in which Elijah found himself hunted down, God instructed him to hide in the Karith Ravine, east of the Jordan River. There, God promised to take care of him. The ravine’s name comes from the Hebrew root Charith or Cherith, meaning “to cut away.” It signifies a time of separation for Elijah—cutting away from ordinary circumstances, a time of isolation and hiddenness. And it’s precisely in that cutting away that Elijah learned to depend fully on God’s provision through the ravens.

The text says that God commanded ravens to bring Elijah food. The ravens brought him bread and meat every morning and evening, and Elijah drank from the brook.

In His infinite wisdom, God could’ve chosen any creature to provide for Elijah. He could’ve sent doves or Harry Potter owls. But instead, He chose the raven—the most unexpected creature. A scavenger, often viewed as a symbol of neglect and carelessness, a bird known never to return to the same spot twice. Yet, God used this unlikely creature to bring about restoration and provision for Elijah.

It’s a powerful reminder that God is in the business of using unexpected elements—things we often overlook or people we might be tempted to write off. New graces and fresh mercies appear all the time, and it’s essential to train our eyes to see them in the unlikely things, to encounter the miraculous amid the mud.

…

This morning, a new layer of this story came to me that I had never seen before.

It’s the ravens, yes, but also the ravine. In my own depression, I started looking for the ravens—the unexpected blessings that came to me when I didn’t know where to turn. But I also began to understand the deeper significance of the Karith Ravine itself. This place of cutting away was where God didn’t just provide but taught Elijah to trust in the process.

…

In my own life, I started counting the ravens, just like Elijah:

The fresh autumn breeze, the peaceful night, the church service message, the text at 11 p.m., the acquaintance reaching out.

These were my ‘ravens’, unexpected blessings that kept me moving forward, providing what I needed to get through that day and night.

Right now, there are ravens in your story, even if you can’t spot them just yet. In your dark trenches, in your endless valleys, God is working. There are unexpected elements—things and people you might not even notice—that He’s weaving together to bring you through. Raven after raven, each one another sign of His provision.

One day, you might look back and remember these things—the cracks in the ceiling where the light poured through. One day, these ravens could be the evidence that you once walked through dark woods but came out on the other side.

Train your eyes to see the ravens, friend. Count them, whether you see them or not, because God is in this place. He’s coming through.

p.s.

A note for when the depression comes in waves.

p.p.s

A version of these words were originally published in my book Fighting Forward. You can find it here.

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7 Practical Mindset Shifts and Strategies to Thrive on Social Media as a Creator.

Two years ago, I shifted my mindset around social media and transformed the way I showed up online.

Several months into my unplugged year, I noticed that one area of my life wasn’t improving. That one area? Social media. The more and more unplugged I became, the more my disdain for social media grew. I would feel this anxiety forming in my chest every time I would step on the app, knowing I needed to post something but not feeling like I had any energy, stamina, or steam to post another thing or give another update.

At that moment, I made a crucial decision. I realized that I needed to step back and address this issue. I was prepared to leave the platforms for good if I couldn’t find a way to use social media without it draining me. This decision brought a sense of relief and freedom, knowing that I would finally take control of my online presence and the way it made me feel at the end of each day.

I stepped onto social media over a decade ago because it was fun. I loved engaging with people and sharing writing, thoughts, and pieces of my life. 

So, how did it become this mind-sucking scroll? And was there a way to reclaim social media?

Many of us have to use social media for our businesses; for many of us, it feels like a necessary evil. Some have said goodbye to social media for good, announcing their departure in a single post and never looking back. I greatly respect these people, but don’t believe I’m one of them.

I don’t know how to explain it fully, but I’ve always felt called to the Internet. While others were being called to stages or cities, books or universities, I always felt God calling me to show up online—to be a light and an encouragement in what can be a really dark space.

As a young believer, I felt that call tangibly and have never deviated from it. So long as I still feel that confirmation in my spirit, I will be encouraging and a light on the Internet. So, I had to find a way to do it without draining myself or losing myself.

How Did We Get Here?

When I think about how I got to this place with social media, it was a combination of many things. Where social media used to be about connection, it became about building a following. 

It started to feel like a competition. I always had to be creating something to keep up. Every time I would step on the app and see everybody else posting, and I would immediately thrust myself into this anxious place of trying to create something on the spot. 

Posting became a default setting for when I felt lonely, when I needed validation, and especially when I felt overlooked or like I was becoming a “has been.” I posted to stay relevant.

I’ve since learned that this can’t be the posture of my showing up online for many reasons. 

It will never fill you. 

You will always feel like you’re stuck on a hamster wheel. 

You will give unnecessary time and precious energy to an algorithm you can’t control. 

Everything changed when I took a step back and reclaimed how I was showing up on social media. I felt lighter. My numbers even grew after years of being stagnant or losing followers post after post. My engagement went through the roof. And, even more surprisingly, I was spending less and less time on the apps. This new approach to social media not only improved my mental health and overall well-being, but it also had tangible benefits for my online presence. I was creating more engaging content, connecting with my audience on a deeper level, and feeling more satisfied with my online presence. 

Here are the practical strategies and mindset shifts I made to reframe my relationship with social media:

001. Make Social Media Fun Again

This became my mission. I decided that if social media wasn’t going to be fun, I would no longer give hours of my day to it. 

To make social media more fun again, I had to stop viewing it through this all-or-nothing mindset. 

I had to stop thinking that every post I created had to be gold. I had to be willing to experiment. Experiment is the keyword. I started treating my social media presence as one big experiment, vowing to get more curious about what was resonating and what wasn’t.

I started digging into analytics and learning what my audience loved and then started serving them more. 

While I still posted to share writing and parts of my business, I treated my social media profiles as a complete body of work—a portfolio anyone could scroll through at any hour of the day.

I posted what I wanted– what brought me deep satisfaction. The pictures of my daughter brought me joy. The images of spots in my home and cookbooks and rhythms made it a space I wanted to return to again and again. I settled on a combination of encouragement and practical wisdom. I did giveaways just because it was fun to give things away. The more I experimented and committed to curiosity, the less I cared about the numbers or how a post performed. The experience was fun again, and I was excited to try new things.

window.fd('form', { formId: '6735566c1000a77625171406', containerEl: '#fd-form-6735566c1000a77625171406' });002. Make Engagement Intentional + Genuine

Ultimately, my purpose on social media is to connect with others. While I could view it as a tool for business or personal branding, I’ve always seen it as a unique opportunity to connect with readers daily. It’s a joy to serve others through these platforms, and it gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. 

When I was growing up, the only way you could engage with an author you loved was through mail. Yes, like snail mail, with a stamp and an envelope. Even with that way to contact your favorite author, there was never a back-and-forth dialogue. I think it’s such a privilege that I get to engage with readers and learn about them through what I write. And the best way to do that is through social media.

I stopped feeling like I had to respond to every message and every comment, but I set a few goals for myself:

When I’m on social media, I make it a point to engage with the people who support me, rather than mindlessly scrolling. This engagement is not about me but about valuing and appreciating the online community I’ve cultivated over the years.Whenever possible, I will reply to most of the comments left on my post.Whenever possible, I reply to messages. Often, I will just send a voice message to followers. It’s a personal way we can dialogue, making me feel like I’m not just stuck on my phone keyboard, which I hate. 

I think we get so numbed out to social media that we stop engaging and become lurkers in others’ lives. How do we fight the lurking? We engage thoughtfully. We cheer one another on. All you’ve likely ever wanted from the post you put out there is engagement, but do you engage with other people from a genuine and thoughtful place?

The experts say you must be willing to engage with others to grow, but I don’t engage with people on the app hoping to expand my accounts. I engage with others because people deserve to be engaged with, and social media is meant to be social.

I look forward to the updates of people I admire, my friends from college, and creators who inspire me and I make it a point to engage with their content to encourage them and push them forward. We all could benefit from more encouragement, and we can give it to one another.

003. Creation Over Consumption

This is a big one. I make it a point to only go onto social media when I have something to do, like post something new or engage with a past post.

I’m no longer on social media just to consume. Think about social media as a dinner party:

When you get invited to a dinner party, you bring something to the table. You don’t just show up empty-handed and mooch off of everybody else. You are a participant. So, I keep that same mindset when it comes to social media. 

I prioritize creating over consumption. I consume more consciously.I avoid scarcity and believe “there is enough room for everyone, enough to go around.”I live for creating things rather than consuming them. 

I’ve gone through different seasons where I’ve placed a boundary on myself, making a rule that I cannot consume anything online until I have created something myself. This is a great rule that has worked wonders in the past.

It doesn’t mean you have to create a piece of art. There are so many ways to create in your daily life. You can create an outfit, spend some time journaling, or make a meal. All of these things are forms of creation, but I prioritize the creation of my own life over the consumption of other people’s. 

004. Flip the Funnel

This concept is something I talk about with my writing students all the time. It has been an absolute game changer for me, and the reason why I can show up with so much content on social media. 

In the past, I would go onto social media to look for something to inspire me to post. This method never worked. It always left me comparing myself to others and posting in the moment, which never felt good. 

Flipping the funnel means that I took my eyes off of creating for social media, and I got my butt back into the writing chair to start creating in that space. 

Instead of dedicating myself to content creation, I dedicated myself to writing hours. I started to see so many ideas and pieces of content coming to the forefront. I would catch them in my notebook and dedicate time each day to writing. 

From that overflow, I created content for social media. 

Many writers in this digital age waste a lot of time building a social media presence, forsaking the most essential thing: your writing hours. 

By reclaiming my writing hours, I suddenly had more than enough things to post, and I watched my readership grow because I wasn’t posting threads of my life– I was taking the time to write and invest in what I wanted to share: my words. From the moment I started doing this, I haven’t deviated. 

My writing practice is my one thing in all seasons of life, a concept I learned from Jay Keller and Gary Papasian’s book The One Thing.

Out of that consistent writing practice, I build my content calendar.

005. Buy Real Estate 

Instagram will likely change its algorithm tomorrow. You can beat your head against the wall about it or start investing elsewhere. 

Social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are rented spaces. You pay for them, sure, but you don’t own them. The landlords can change the rules at any point and kick you out.

To avoid relying solely on Instagram for my writing, I started directing people to the spaces I actually owned. In a nutshell, I bought online real estate.

I sent people to my blog more. I asked them to join my newsletter. I created newsletter series like the Monday Club or Advent so that I could meet people regularly.I invest in intentionally marketing via my newsletter rather than hoping the algorithm will favor me on Instagram.

Do you know what happened? I became a much happier, less disgruntled human because I acted on my turf, cultivating my own space. Yes, I was still taking care of my rental properties, but I was ultimately using them to send people to places where we could actually build a sustainable connection that wouldn’t be banned by the government at some point in the year. 

If you don’t have an email newsletter but you’re thinking about building one, check out a few of these resources:

How to Create an Email Newsletter from ScratchTips for Writers in the Digital AgeWhy You (as a Writer) Need a NewsletterWhy You 100% Need a Blog If You Want to Be a Writer006. The Power of Generosity

It’s easy to get on social media platforms and think about ourselves: how we want to grow, how we want to be seen, and how we want to be perceived by others.

But can I be honest? This much focus on ourselves is not doing a single favor to our mental health. I don’t know about you, but it’s constantly exhausting to focus on myself in the way social media wants me to.

So, I flipped the script and decided to show up on these platforms to give instead of take.

I began sharing in ways that were helpful to people, solved their problems, and encouraged their souls. 

I chose not to gatekeep information and started to give as generously as I could.

The results have felt beautiful because I no longer step onto social media thinking, “What’s in it for me?” Now, I ask a better question: How can I serve today?

Out of that desire to serve, I post. I don’t expect these platforms to give me anything at the end of the day. I’m thankful for them because they allow me to reach others with my words, but I am no longer frustrated by them when they don’t serve me the way I anticipated. 

These social media platforms don’t serve; I’m not beholden to them, so I use them strategically to serve others.

007. Consistency > The Outcome

This was the most significant mindset shift for me. In the past, when I felt creatively drained by social media, I would create a post, put it out there, and then invest all my energy in its performance. 

If that post performed well, then I would be happy.

My emotions would have been everywhere if that post had not performed well. I would suddenly be irritated and angry and snap at my husband. Nothing has changed in my life; it was just that this digital little square of content didn’t do exactly what I thought it would do. This is a recipe for disaster; if this is you, I suggest changing things immediately.

The truth is, I needed to change my form of currency: the thing I was measuring. I had no control over how the post would do. (Evidence of that would be that in the decade I’ve been posting on social media, the most popular post I have ever produced has been literally about Passover lambs.) 

We have zero control over what goes viral. For that reason, virality and post-performance can’t be our metrics. Or they can be, and we can just be miserable the whole time.

I started focusing on consistency. I asked myself:

How many times do you want to show up this week? How many pieces of content do you want to build this month? What are the content pillars that you want to highlight? What would feel like a big and scary thing to post this week?

These new metrics allowed me to take my eyes off the numbers and fix them back on what mattered to me: creating an online space that left others feeling encouraged and less alone.

The same goes for any discipline you’re building. You can’t control if you lose 20 pounds, but you can control the number of times you go to the gym this week. You can’t control the outcome of your prayers, but you can measure how often you sit down with your prayer journal this week. 

Consistency trumps the outcome. I have a working theory that consistency eventually leads to the most beautiful outcomes. 

Whenever I post something, I immediately move on to the next thing. It became less about babysitting the stuff I was creating and more about being fueled and excited for the creation process. 

It was a combination of all these things: the willingness to experiment, the reclaiming of my writing practice, the building of a space that wasn’t on social media, the beauty of giving over getting, and evidence of consistency. These things allowed me to change my mind about social media, where I no longer get on the app and feel anxious. 

If I do, I take that as a sign to immediately get off the app and do something else. But most of the time, I’m excited to post, engage, and cheer others on in their journeys. 

I have reclaimed the beauty and power behind social media, and I’ve revived my creative spirit in the process.

Was there a point that struck you or inspired you? Share below!

p.s.

You might also love:

5 ways to shift the focus from “me” to “we” on social media.Three “pandemic habits” I’m absolutely done with.Reclaim your life: 3 solutions to limit social media burnout.When media stops being social. Pt. ILet’s face it: why my relationship with social media is changing.

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Read Me When the Sadness Feels Heavy

A reminder for when the sadness feels heavy:

t’s okay to have off days—days when nothing is technically wrong, but you still feel off. Somber. Out of sorts. Days when you wonder if you’re measuring up or feel like you should be further along by now.

Remember: Life is not made by going from mountaintop to mountaintop. It is shaped in deeper valleys and rugged off-roads, in winding, narrowly lit paths, and in the quiet of open meadows.

When I’m in this kind of slump, I need to hear someone say, “You’re okay. Feel your feelings, but don’t let them drive the car.”

Let the feelings out, but don’t let those feelings convince you that you’re standing in territory you’ve already reclaimed, in lies you’ve already wrestled down to find truth. Don’t allow those feelings to tell you you’re small, or going nowhere, or behind. Or that you’ll feel this way forever.

Sometimes, the best forms of self-care are the smallest acts of kindness to yourself: a snack and some sleep. This sadness will end. Make a cup of tea. Put down the phone— it’s a powerful tool, but it’s likely not what you need right now.

Meet yourself where you are today, not where you should be.

You’re okay. Get some rest. 

You’re okay. I’ll see you in the morning.

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Meet Flodesk: The Email Marketing Platform For Writers + Small Businesses

I always get asked: What email marketing platform do you use? The question alone makes me want to jump onto a couch like Tom Cruise as I belt out my answer: FLODESK. I USE FLODESK, AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Of all the tools I use in my business (and there are a lot of them), Flodesk is hands down my number one and my favorite pro tool.

I created my first email newsletter in 2013. At the time, the options for email marketing platforms were sparse. I settled on Mailchimp but spent many years unhappy with the look and feel of my emails. I value design, and I never felt like the look and feel of the emails matched the heartbeat behind my writing.

Enter FloDesk.

I learned about the platform from a girlfriend and I was instantly sold.

Beautiful emails?

Unlimited subscribers with one pricing model?

Women-owned start-up that was shaking up email marketing as we knew it?

Say no more. I’m in.

I signed up with Flodesk in 2019 and have never once looked back.

I cannot even begin to tell you how FloDesk transformed my email and business and saved me so much money. Sending out weekly emails used to be something I dreaded. I spent hours trying to improve them and never felt much progress. But with FloDesk as my email marketing platform, not only is there a beautiful interface that makes me feel organized when I’m working inside of it, but it also has gorgeous templates that don’t require any coding experience.

From day one, I created the kinds of emails I’d always wanted to make. Suddenly, there was the chance to make beautiful, aestehcially pleasing emails without needing a degree in coding. I no longer felt like I was drowning just trying to understand how all the buttons and whistles of the backend worked.

Another reason I love Flodesk? They never make you pay for the growth of your audience. You get unlimited subscribers under one pricing plan. Before signing up, I was always afraid of my email list growing because it meant more money out of my pocket for each subscriber. Now, I can enjoy the growth of my email list without feeling like its costing me. Flodesk is like an all-inclusive resort. You pay the one price and reap all the benefits for life. And trust me… the benefits are endless.

Emails you love pressing “send” on.

I was finally able to make the emails look and FEEL how I wanted them to be. Especially when you are creating a weekly newsletter for your readers– you want the experience to be enjoyable and aesthetically pleasing. Flodesk makes that so easy. Even just a simple “thank you” email is now more gorgeous than I could have ever anticipated.

I love making things look beautiful and I never had the ability to do that with email until I signed up for Flodesk. Before that, it was basic, bland emails that never really looked how I wanted them to look. NOW? I create gorgeous emails all the time and I think it adds so much to the email experience.

Just look at the last two templates I created for my annual Advent series. What would have been a boring text email is now transformed into a reading experience I feel proud to press send on.

An email marketing platform you actually understand.

With a simple and minimal interface, I was finally able to understand segmentation, easily build landing pages for my subscribers, and create effective funnels that didn’t break my brain in the process.

At the end of the day, I am not an expert in email marketing and I don’t have the time to be. What’s great about Flodesk is that it takes all that guesswork out of the equation and helps me focus on what matters most to be in my business: communicating with my readers effectively while creating emails that match my brand.

Where I used to avoid analytics at all costs, I find myself LOVING the process of digging into the analytics behind Flodesk. They’re easy to digest, understand, and learn from as you go on your email marketing journey.

Creating a landing page has never been simpler.

I am a big advocate for having a website to house your writing but, if you are not ready to build a website, Flodesk offers the perfect platform to start building a readership. Simply sign up, create your first landing page, and lead people there to receive your writing in their inbox.

What I love about Flodesk is that they’re always evolving and adding new features to their already amazing platform. Want to create a “Link In Bio” mini-website? No problem. Want to add a product and make it available for checkout? They have that, too!

Segmentation made easy.

I am constantly creating new segments based on what my readers are clicking and enjoying. This eliminates the guesswork of figuring out what email to send to which person and allows me room to experiment with different forms of content written for different audiences.

I often get asked why I would choose an email marketing platform over Substack (which is currently booming for writers). I’ll say this: I’m a fan of any platform that gets you writing and publishing your work for others to read. But, with that being said, I love that I have full ownership of my email list with Flodesk, and that I can customize and segment my readership based on their needs and the content that appeals to them while creating emails that match the look and feel of my brand through Flodesk.

Want a trial period? Take 50% off your first year of FloDesk with this link!

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Teacher “Favorite Things” Survey (Free Download)

TL ; DR : Download my Free Teacher’s Favorite Thing Survey below!

 

As Teacher Appreciation Week approached last year, I spent countless hours scouring Pinterest for the perfect teacher gift ideas. This year, I crowdsourced recommendations from my teacher friends on Facebook, asking: “What kinds of gifts do you actually like to receive from students?”

One suggestion really resonated – having students’ parents send a simple questionnaire at the start of the year to learn the teacher’s favorite things. 

The questionnaire was an inventory of all their favorite things— favorite coffee spots, restaurants, places to shop, and flowers. Getting that insider knowledge makes gift-giving so much more personal and thoughtful.

I created a free printable “Favorite Things” questionnaire template in Canva that I plan to use for years. Just download it below!

I sent my daughter to school with copies of the teacher’s “favorite things” survey, and they sent it back that day. Scanning over the answers, I was so happy I decided to get to know them better:

One teacher said she doesn’t drink coffee (that would have been my go-to gift card) but that she LOVES Dr. Pepper.Both teachers listed their favorite restaurants as local spots around where we live in Decatur– Kimball House and Victory Sandwich Bar. It’s a chance to support local businesses and love our teachers well!Another teacher mentioned her favorite flowers were lilies, so we had some fun chances to surprise her throughout the year!

I no longer have to bite my nails over Teacher Appreciation Week, holiday gifts, or “just because” gifts for the teachers we love. I have everything I need from the teacher’s “favorite things” survey to be thoughtful and intentional with our teachers this year!

Download the free printable teacher favorite things questionnaire below. It will be emailed to you! If you have any issues receiving it, email info@hannahbrencher.com.

Happy new school year!

p.s. Some lessons I’ve learned since becoming a mother and the mindset shift I had to make around motherhood.

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