Alexi E. George's Blog, page 52

4 Reasons We Get Trapped by Our Choices

“You people die healthy, I'm gonna die happy.” This was the response of a young man enjoying a fat greasy burger, fries, and a large drink. He was sitting in the employee lounge with a group of people who were mostly eating healthy food. When they told him about the benefits of eating healthy, those words were his response.

I just read a quote on Zig Ziglar’s Facebook page that says “You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.” Perfect timing since I was about to write on Hosea 8:7a “For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.”

From ancient days, this truth has been a standard. This concept was probably developed from the agricultural past of our ancestors. Even now, this remains true, and we still struggle to live by it. It seems we are trapped by our choices. Here are four reasons why we seem to fall into this trap.

1. We think choices imply permission

This may be a logical fallacy on our part. In essence, “what else is a choice for but to take it?” We assume that if the option is open and available, then it is there for our purpose. We jump to a conclusion and make the choice without thinking through the consequences.

2. We have not been taught how to make choices

This is a common struggle of people who had parents who were too controlling. Many domineering parents are like that for the good of their children. They want to protect them from harmful decisions. But this approach makes them unable to make intelligent choices as adults in the future.

3. The losses we face cause us to think we deserve some things

Those who experience numerous losses in their childhood may grow up with a scarcity perspective. So, when choices are available for them, they jump to decisions without sufficient thought. It is as if these are opportunities to make up for the losses they have faced.

4. Consequences are not clear to us 

We may be blinded to negative consequences due to various reasons such as inexperience, lack of good advice, or simply ignorance. Such a lack of clarity about the consequences of our choices will definitely make us vulnerable to making the wrong choices. We may opt for whatever appeals to our senses at that moment in time.

As God’s creation, the choices we have in life are a gift to us. The world was created with plenty of variety and choices. Make sure to avoid the dangers and stay away from the traps. But feel free to explore your choices and take your liberty.

Shallow, Lifeless, Pop Style, Self Help, and Self Centered Preaching

The struggle continues every time I begin planning for my next sermon. Deciding on a topic or developing the sermon is not a problem for me since I’ve been doing this for more than three decades. But I must come to a decision if this sermon should target the general crowd or the believers/disciples in the crowd.

After some study of the Bible and some soul searching, the answer I’ve come to is “Yes.” I want to preach for both the crowd and the believers. I’m pouring through the 13th chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, and I believe I do need to study it further. But for now, here are my thoughts on this important issue.

1. Your message will define your audience

When you direct your messages to a general audience, you will attract more people who will benefit from your teaching. The people in your congregation will be encouraged to invite their friends. They will be confident that if their neighbor or co-worker comes, there will be a message that will benefit them. But if your messages are only for believers, you limit your reach. You will not be able to reach out to a hurting world as Jesus wanted you to.

2. The crowd won’t benefit from messages meant for disciples

If your messages are directed to believers, the crowd will not benefit. The topics are designed for those whose level of interest and commitment are beyond that of the crowd. The language and tone will be irrelevant to the crowd. They’ll vote with their feet and will not come back.

3. Disciples can benefit from messages designed for the crowd

Designing messages for the crowd can be a great creative effort. Deal with the practical aspects of life and finish with a Biblical perspective. This obviously will require topical sermons rather than textual, expository, or exegetical types.

For most of my years of preaching, I’ve focused on the latter types of preaching (textual, expository, and exegetical). But after taking a close look at the approach of Jesus, I’m going through a shift. I believe I’ll be writing more on that in later posts.

4. Give separate classes for Disciples to go deeper

Those who have made the commitment to become a disciple of Jesus are ready for deeper levels of teaching. Such teaching is necessary to keep people firmly rooted in the faith through proper, logical, and exegetical study of the Bible. I also believe the teaching should be doctrinally in line with the historical faith of the church as they have also interpreted the Scriptures and lived the Christian life.

Deeper teaching should not end with the lesson, but must lead to action. Believers should be on the quest to be like Jesus, speak like Jesus, and to do the works of Jesus. That should be the aim of the deeper teaching we give to the Disciples of Jesus today.

5. Go after the crowd

So, how did you like my title “Shallow, Lifeless, Pop Style, Self Help, and Self Centered Preaching”? These are the words of criticism I hear so often when people preach to the crowd. It’s a tough call, but I’ll have more on this later.

For now, don’t ignore the crowd. Jesus didn’t. He preached for them. He invited them. Some of the deeper stuff didn’t sit well with the crowd, but he still continued to focus on the crowd. Then he told his disciples – us – to go after the crowd.

Roles of a Leader in Small Group Discussions

Under the guidance of a skillful leader, small group discussions can be effective. Effectively led discussions can change hearts, minds, habits, and attitudes.

Be The Leader

Whatever your topic of discussion, make sure you have a goal in mind for the discussion. Have a clear idea of what you expect to accomplish. As the leader, it is your job to set the goal. Without a stated goal, the discussion becomes aimless and ultimately boring.

Make sure that goal is clear, practical, and measurable. When it is clear, people will be able to visualize the outcome. When it is practical, it is something useful and desirable for the members of your group. They will want to move in the direction of that goal. A measurable goal provides a clear way of knowing that you have attained it. For a small Group meeting, you'll have to make the goal simple and small enough to be attainable in a short 15 minute discussion. For example, you can't make your goal something broad like "Spiritual Growth" as it is just too vast and not measurable for a short discussion.

Be The Guide

With the goal in mind, constantly be in a guiding mode. You don't need to control every aspect of the discussion. Be careful not to dominate and overpower the group members to force them toward the goal. Gradually guide the conversations in a meaningful way that will lead to the goal.

In other words, just make sure the discussion is moving in the right direction. As long as the direction is right, you will get there. Whenever the interactions seem to move away in a different direction, patiently redirect them back toward your goal.

Be The Facilitator

Along with being the leader and the guide, you are to facilitate every aspect of the discussion. Take all the preliminary and ongoing steps to make sure you will have a meaningful discussion.

Minimize distractions by paying attention to the various aspects of the room and group dynamics. Be sure to have something for small children to keep them occupied and comfortable. Ensure sufficient lighting for the group members to connect with each other. Try to arrange the seats in a circle so everyone is at least "visually" part of the discussion.

During the discussion, encourage the silent and timid ones to participate. Then, skillfully handle the talkers who seem to dominate every discussion. You don't want to silence them, but skillfully leverage their boldness to keep the discussion moving, while including the quiet ones.

Facilitate the balance between the theoretical and practical. Bring in a sufficient amount of Biblical and other theoretical material, but make sure to keep it focused on the practical benefits of knowing the theory. Make sure it does not become a Bible study for the sake of a Bible study. Make the practical aspect the main aim of your discussion.

Be The Learner

Never present yourself as the expert. We are all on the same path as learners. By not presenting yourself as an expert, you allow for more participation from the group. But in the presence of an "expert," the people simply become spectators.

Of course, you may be more knowledgeable and experienced than many of the people in your group, but that must be secondary. Your primary task is to be a co-learner who wants to benefit from the discussions as much as anyone else. This allows for the most productivity from your discussions.

If you currently lead a small group, I commend you for the awesome responsibility you take in God's Kingdom. Be on a quest to do your task better every time. May the fruits of your work show up as changed lives.

For more on this topic, read one of my previous posts, Seven Things I've Learned About Leading Discussions.

How to Nurture New Believers in Small Groups

Becoming a child of God is the greatest privilege one can experience. Accepting the invitation through faith in Jesus is not a religious decision but a relationship. It is that relationship that needs to be nurtured.

Mentoring

Because a new believer has begun a new relationship with God, they are best nurtured through relationships. This person’s relationship to the small group and to a local church is vital for their growth. Effective nurture can be pursued through one person who can be a mentor to this person. Clearly identify a mature person who can relate and faithfully guide this new believer.

Guiding

This mentor can be the key person to guide the new believer through three important aspects of this new relationship. This person needs a healthy relationship with God, other believers, and the community. Without a proper relationship in these three areas, the new believer’s faith becomes shallow. Their most vital relationship is with God through faith in Jesus Christ. Their relationship with God is evidenced through a proper relationship with other believers. When these two relationships are genuine, the love and concern for the community will be natural

Modeling

In the small group, make sure to model these three relationships. Let people see what it is to develop an ongoing personal relationship with God. Give opportunities for them to relate with other believers in a casual, friendly atmosphere. Bring in actual stories of how the community is impacted through relationships from this small group.

Let the caring relationships within the group be the launching pad for this new believer. As they navigate through the painful and difficult circumstances of life, the mentor along with the group will help his person to keep their eyes on Jesus.

4 Steps to Training Small Group Leaders

Those who have been part of a vibrant, active, small group can share how that group has helped in numerous ways. For some, their lives were completely transformed as a result of being part of a small group. For others, the small group sustained them through some of the fiercest storms in their lives.

For a group to sustain itself and stay vibrant for the long haul, it is vital to continually develop new leaders. For every new leader you develop, you’ll gain ten new people. Its not a numbers game, but an opportunity to impact more people with your life changing message.

Here are four things you need to develop as you train new leaders.

Heart – Vision

Develop within their hearts a vision that will become their passion. They need to develop a vision about themselves and others.

Themselves as enablers.


Others as prospects for a better life.


Feet – Experience

As soon as people catch the vision within their hearts, give them opportunities for them to get involved in leadership tasks. While they are involved and gaining experience, teach them so they will have the knowledge and the necessary skills.

If you try to teach them all the necessary knowledge and skills before they begin taking responsibility,  you may lose them before they begin. Let them start, then teach them incrementally.

Mind – Knowledge

Gradually work on developing their knowledge. A new leader needs some basic knowledge about worldviews, life, the Bible, and about things that are important to people in your group.

Get them on the track of being a reader. Develop an interest in them to be a lifelong learner. Resources are freely available now, and can be accessed from almost anywhere in the world. Get them on the learning track.

Hands – Skills

Some basic skills of leadership must be taught to them in the beginning. As you invite them to share the burden of leadership along with you, they will be full of questions they never had. This is an opportunity for ongoing training in leadership skills.

A Lifelong Privilege

I believe leadership is a privilege that God has given his people. We are a “Kingdom of Priests” called by God. All of God’s children are given this opportunity. Some are willing to take the bold step into leadership.

See it as a lifelong privilege. As a leader, make it a priority to continuously develop leaders.

Your Best Social Connection

Reaching Out in Distress

Remember these posts? “Feeling lonely,” “Feeling depressed, angry, gloomy…” These posts on social media are often followed by responses from readers with sympathetic words. The list of responses are often quite long. Do these words have any lasting impact? Is the person’s condition improved by the words offered by sympathetic fingers as they type away on their keyboards or phones?

It’s healthy to have friends you can turn to in times of deep sorrow. But turn to God first. He will strengthen your heart with his Spirit, and enlighten your mind with His perspective. Your friends will give you advice based on their perspective which may come from their own brokenness.

God is Waiting for You

When the people of Israel experienced extreme suffering, they refused to turn to God. He commented about their condition and said: "They do not cry to me from the heart, but they wail upon their beds; for grain and wine they gash themselves; they rebel against me" (Hos 7:14).

It seems we turn everywhere else but to God. Israelites did that too. But God is waiting for you to reach out to Him in your distress. He will be your strength when you have none left.

Skip the Social Media and Friends

You need the encouragement and companionship of friends, but they must come second. Allow God to impact your heart and mind before anyone else does. When the struggles of life cause you to cry out in pain, bypass your friends and social media and go directly to God. He is ready to help, and he is waiting. Will you go to him first?

When you turn to God first, He will impact your thinking about your situation. When you approach your friends, each of them will have their own ideas based on their hang ups. On social media, you'll get advice that spans the entire spectrum with no limits. So give God your first priority and allow Him to direct you.

The New You…Sure, Assertive, Trusting

"You? You won't amount to much." “Since you’re a poor student, you won’t be able to do much with your life.” “Are you sure you can handle that? You’re to skinny.” “Isn’t that motorcycle too big for you?” Those words and others similar to that pierced deep into my being. I never thought much of it through the years. But several years ago I began to understand the extent of the damage.

The Trap

The constant onslaught of negative comments with little or no positives have an impact much beyond what we can imagine. The pain of negative words continue for some time, but after a while, the pain goes away. The pain is replaced by a certain numbness to those situations and negative words. But the roots of negativity go deep and continue to influence the person all through life.

These roots cause various problems in different people. Some deal with a constant sense of inability to make decisions. Low self esteem becomes the guiding principle underneath this person’s behaviors. Fear of being rejected by others will cause them to cave in and not excel in most things they do in life.

This person may have some dreams, but they never expresses those dreams. They cannot imagine that their dreams can ever be fulfilled. Thus they never take the steps necessary to live out those dreams. Its a trap that keeps them from moving forward.

The Turn

For such a person, the change will come only with a dramatic impact through personal experiences, or a divine intervention. Sometimes, colleagues and friends take an interest in the person and help them to refocus.

But refocus is too simple of a word for someone who has been conditioned by decades of thinking that they can’t live their dream. Their past failures also attest to this negative concept that has held them back.

In essence the mind has to be reconditioned to think differently. Negative thoughts need to be replaced by positives. Thoughts of failures must be replaced by dreams about life and how there is hope for the future.

Most of all, this person must come to grips with the reality of their negative influences. Acknowledge the damage that has been done to your thought processes. Then make a decision that by God’s help, you will be able to reverse the negative effectives into positives.

Trust that God believes in you and has your best interest in mind. Oh, you’ve always known that, but you’ve never accepted that for yourself. It was a reality for others and not for yourself. But God wants to do this in you. He has an awesome dream for you and wants you to live it out.

So, acknowledge the negative effects of the past and understand that God’s dreams for you can be lived out. Daily, pray and commit yourself to God’s dream for you. Allow your thinking to be transformed and subsequently, your words and actions will begin to change. With God’s help, you will think His way and begin to live differently and confidently.

More sure of yourself

Once you understand yourself from God’s perspective, you will see yourself differently. Your timid and fearful nature will begin to gradually change to confidence. This gradual shift to confidence will be a great asset.

When you are more sure of yourself, you can dream God’s dreams. Big dreams. Your thinking begins to expand and the horizon of the future looks entirely different. New possibilities begin to appear in your mind like never before.

Initially you may suppress these dreams because you have been conditioned to think less of yourself. But as the transformation progresses, you become more sure of yourself. This feeling of confidence will be uneasy to you at first as you feel unworthy of such thoughts. Just allow God to work within you and replace the negative thoughts with His thoughts, GOD size thoughts. You will notice yourself becoming more sure of yourself.

More assertive

Eventually the confidence within you will express itself outwardly. In your interpersonal relationships, you’ll be more assertive than ever before. You will notice the growing assertiveness and may want to pull back because of your years of negative conditioning. But now, God is working in you a conditioning that is different from the past.

Others will notice your new level of assertiveness. Especially when you have never behaved like this before. Your bold steps and words will be noticed by others.

I believe the greatest impact of your assertiveness will be in your performance. You continue to do the same work you’ve always done, but now, everything changes. Once your attitude changes from fear to confidence, and you begin to be more assertive, you will see greater results. Get ready for a change in your direction and future.

You don’t have to revert to the ideas and whims of others. You can listen to God’s voice and move forward; bold and assertive.

Quiet trust

The confidence and assertiveness you sense must not be just a general sense of positive thinking. A clear trust in God and his dreams for your life needs to be the foundation. God’s dreams are the fuel behind your confidence and assertiveness.

You are replacing fear and timidity that has controlled your thoughts and actions most of your life. This can be done only with a quiet trust in God. He will live His dreams through your life.

You’ve not had much trust in yourself and your abilities, but now you replace that with a trust in God.

4 Fears of a Church Planter

Let’s get real. Church planting sounds awesome when we talk about creating space for a move of God in a new community. But all the words of hype and glamour fade once you get into the reality of committing five to ten years of your life to an idea.

Then fear sets in, and you begin to ask questions. Once the loneliness begins, and you don’t seem to get the results you wanted, things begin to get scary. Here are four questions that I’ve asked, and continue to ask.

1. Do I have what it takes to plant a church?

During my days as a seminary student, I was glad to prepare myself for the ministry that God had for me. But once I stepped into church planting, everything changed. All of a sudden, I’m not sure what I’m prepared for.

The tasks were numerous. It began with having to create a broad five year plan and a detailed one year plan. After moving to the new location, we struggled with our focus on planting while looking for a job, a place to live, and all the details of settling into a new community.

The next step was to gather a core group and begin to share our vision for the new church. Vision? I was busy with Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek, and other important things to get me “ready” for the ministry. But how do I plant a church?

All my reading on church planting seemed to have dissipated into thin air. Facing the heat of the situation, I was not so sure of myself anymore. Can I do this? Do I have what it takes to plant a church?

2. What if no one shows up?

The first few small group meetings were tough, but the toughest ones were after the newness dried off. Will they continue to come? Are these groups truly meeting their needs? They seem happy, but happy enough to come back?

The same struggle was there when the worship services started. It started well with lots of motivation and excitement. The question always remained in my mind: Will these people come back next week? Is there anything going on in these meetings for these people to show up again?

Then it happened.

There were those meetings where no one showed up. We continued to call, encourage, and meet new people as if nothing went wrong. But that fear of empty seats was as real as ever.

3. Will I have enough money?

Our own tithe and some offering money is all that came in. The financial stretch was tremendous, but we held on. Borrowing was out of the picture, but we had to have more. Outreach and other programs cost money, but I was not the “asking” type.

You hope people would catch the vision and begin to give more. The greater hope is that they would Make a firm commitment to this new venture and begin to tithe. Waiting for people to respond can be a great challenge.

I was really intrigued by a statement I heard from Steve Nicholson: “Money follows vision.” I had a vision, but maybe I didn’t have enough confidence in that vision. Yet God provided at the right time.

4. Am I wasting my time?

How much time should be devoted to the process of planting a church? I used to think that five years is enough to get things up and running. But to get things going in the direction you want for the church, I would suggest committing at least ten years or more to the process.

But this was the problem. I kept wondering if my time was better spent somewhere else doing something different. Maybe I would have accomplished much more if I would have invested these years at another location. Am I wasting my time?

The fear that settles all other fears

Whenever I  think of doing anything else, I fear being out of God’s plan for my life. You see, for this season of my life (long season), God wants me to dream, start, and create. This is what I enjoy, and this is what drives me. Until I sense the release from that calling, I must continue. Fears will always be there. The risks are outrageous. Yet I know that God is faithful.

Do you know someone who is in the process of planting a church at this time? Talk to your pastor and get the contact information for someone who is planting. Call them or email them with some encouraging words. As pioneers on the front lines, bless them. If you’re not able to get information on church planters, I’ll get you connected with a few. Just email me using the contact form on this website. 

Thanks for caring and encouraging.

What? Another New Church?

Who needs another church?

We have planted churches in cities and towns where churches already exist, and sometimes the obvious question arises: Why another church? Aren’t there enough churches already? Here below are some of the reasons for new churches.

Vibrancy

Newly planted churches experience more vibrancy than older ones. People are motivated as a new community begins to form. They’re motivated towards action, since this new movement demands action. In a new church plant, there’s no time for discussion over various issues of the faith. Just simple, pure, action is required to get this movement off the ground.

Outreach

As the new church reaches out to the community with the love of Jesus, more people are touched. Jesus went out from village to village and town to town with the message of the good news of God’s Kingdom. Along with teaching about the Kingdom of God, he performed the works of this kingdom as well. The “words” and the “works” went side by side.

Ultimately, this is the best method that anyone can suggest. Teach the words of the kingdom, and do the works of the kingdom. Your community needs this good news now more than ever. The good news that God is not all about having some philosophical discussion, but He is a God of action. He wants to step into your life and bring firm and lasting change. Effective outreach into the community demands truly changed lives.

Involvement of more people

Every aspect of the new church requires the involvement of more people. People are needed to set up chairs, banners and signs, to pray for people, to counsel people, and to do a host of other tasks that are needed for the new church. In existing churches, there are plenty of people already active in those roles. Others are simply watching these people do the work and wondering how they can be involved. Although there is no objection for people to get involved in existing churches, but there just seems to be no space.

A new church plant creates that space naturally. People don’t need an invitation to get involved. They simply recognize that there is more space, and move into those spaces. They see the need and feel the freedom to fill those needs.

Leadership Development

More leaders are needed as the new church develops. The new organization naturally requires people to take responsibility in various ways. Naturally, as more people get involved, more will be developed as leaders. Much of this will emerge according to need. You will be able to distinguish those people who are ready to move into leadership roles. These are the people who take action before they are asked to. Others look at a challenging situation and will begin to make suggestions for improvement.

These are the people who are ripe for development as leaders. Without assigning titles, allow them to function in roles that benefit the new church. Eventually, you can add titles as the need arises.

So there are numerous reasons why your community needs another church. Maybe you are one of those reasons. Maybe you are the person who needs the love of Jesus to penetrate your troubled life and make an impact. Or you may need to be inspired by the challenge of a new community. Some people need an opportunity for involvement, and others are ready to step into roles of leadership. You may not know that you are ready for leadership, but as you step in and get involved, you will notice the flow.

And if you are in the first category of needing the love of Jesus to penetrate your heart and life, feel free to contact me. Use the contact form on the website www.barnabas.in/email and I will reply to you. I would love to speak to you. Allowing Jesus to come and take a prominent place in your life will be the most rewarding step you will ever take.

3 Reasons Why Some Church Planters Fail

After struggling with failed church plants, stalled attempts, and some successes, I've had the privilege of helping several church planters. The road has not been easy for any of these people who have put themselves on the front lines.

Some of them bailed out after several years of struggle, and others press on. It has been painful for me as I begin to wonder how I could have been a better support for them. The questions are endless, and the answers few.

Through all of this, here are three things that failed church planters struggle with, and how you can help.

1. They don’t feel loved.

These planters are often living in a new place, far from friends and family. They long for deep relationships. This is part of the risk they have taken, but it is certainly an important need for them.

Find ways to reach out to them in genuine love. Regular phone calls are the best if you are far away. Even if they don’t call you, call them. Periodic emails telling them you remember them in your prayers. Give them updates about their home church and the people they know.

Whenever possible, visit them and pray with them and for them. Lay hands on them and bless them in the name of Jesus. In such a tangible way, express your love for them. Then, figure out a way to have a meal together with them.

2. There’s no one to believe in them.

Whatever happens, through success and failure, believe that they will succeed. Especially when there are failures and setbacks, express your confidence in them to hear God’s voice and to move in the Spirit.

When you believe in them, it will come through your words and actions in a powerful way. This will be a refreshing gesture that they desperately need.

Having people who believe in them will certainly build their confidence and enable to step out in faith and believe God. The Kingdom of God will do its work in the gradual process that Jesus taught. They just need to hang in there and trust.

3. No one is there for them when they are in a bind.

These people are taking some of the greatest risks they have ever taken in their lives. Having a consistent, supportive backup for them is a great asset. It impacts the level of risks they will take, and the level of confidence they will have.

In times of emergencies such as hospitalization, unexpected and expensive car repairs, and other surprise expenses, open your hearts and pockets and help them. Let it be a gesture of your support of their passion for the lost.

Have a listening ear. Sometimes, you may need to write an email or call them and offer to listen to them. I remember when my father passed away, so many sent their condolences by email, Facebook, and twitter. One of my college buddies wrote and said, “Hey, if you just need to talk, just call me.” At that point, that sounded like a refreshing offer and I took him up on it. I don’t remember the conversation, but I talked, and he listened.

A rare breed

Church planters are a rare breed. Be sure to love them, believe in them, and be there for them. It will pay back much dividends for God’s Kingdom in your favor.

Do you know a church planter? Check with your pastor and get information on a church planter that your church supports. Then love them, believe in them, and be there for them.