R.P. Andrews's Blog, page 59

Bits and Pieces …

Bits and Pieces …

What Else Can You Do?

First came the metal detectors, then the scanners, then the shoes off, then liquids in a separate bag and yes, even gender/racial profiling of passengers. But after it came out the co-pilot – supposedly okay upstairs and one of us – brought that German airliner down in the Alps, with the pilot who had left to take a leak locked out of the cockpit by the very security gizmos meant to protect us, what the fuck else can you do??

Have a pina colada on the beach and your last fuck before you drive to the airport, that’s what.

A Pic Is Worth a Thousand Words

I was flipping through our weekly gay rags and it stood out like a Trimix-injected dick at our male strip club, Swingin’ Richards. There were pics of Miami’s notorious White Party which generated a record one million dollars for the AIDS Task Force, about the same amount of drugs that went up participants’ noses or in their veins, and just about everybody in those pics was buffed, lasered and young – definitely under 40. Three pages later were pics of those who participated in the South Florida AIDS Walk – all gray, wrinkled and over 40.

Does that tell you something about the Great Generational Divide not just in age but in thinking this “community’s” got going on??

Distracted Cruising

Seems distracted driving – mostly texting while driving – is the number one killer of teens in the U.S. I’m sure adults won’t be far behind. But when it comes to their smartphones, gay boys hold the record for distracted cruising. Instead of gawking at all the pecs on the beach, in the gym, or the bars like the old days, bois are staring at their phones, no doubt, searching for Mister Hot One on one of the GPS driven phone apps.

I saw one guy just today at Crunch who did absolutely nothing but pace around the gym for an hour, babbling on his phone. But the topper was the twink I spied a few months ago bobbing in the ocean off Lauderdale’s gay beach, yep, on his friggen penal substitute.

Some enterprising cellphone manufacturer should make a model in the shape of a dildo – that way the boys could store it up their ass, ear plug hanging out of their hole, Goggle glasses on so they could see their would-be suitor’s profile, and vibrator mode set way up.

Who’d need the real thing then?

Censorship, Sex and Our Way of Life

Censorship, Sex and Our Way of Life

We do it all the time. Watch porn or drool over hard-dicked, cheeks-spread pics on line or on our phone and even order boy toys to spice up our bedroom antics and never think wise. We have our own club districts and circuit parties and festival events like the White Party here in Miami or the International Mister Leather Contest in Chicago or the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco and by the crowds of sweaty men you’d think the whole world had gone gay. Meanwhile same sex marriage is on the books of most states and the way it’s looking, probably will be the law of the land by spring’s end.

Well, guess what? In the lifetime of many of us, it was a whole different world.

The first historic crack in the dam came with books like “The Tropic of Cancer,” a wild novel by Henry Miller written back in the thirties but banned for publication or sale in the US for its “obscenities” until the Supreme Court in 1961 ruled against all the naysayers and Bible Belters.

Interestingly, it was actually a few years before that that “One” won its own day in court. First published in L.A. as a self- described “magazine for homosexuals” which was more literary than illicit in tone, “One” went through a series of its own court tests. Again, and this may be hard for you under 30’s to believe, but homosexuality was illegal in the entire country and just writing about two men in love was a crime. (As you know, I write gay erotic fiction so who knows, it might have been more fun being thrown into prison then beg a guy on line. Just joking.) It would take the law and its view on our behavior decades to change, but in 1957 the Supreme Court ruled “there is no way proper to describe a love affair between two homosexuals as constituting obscenity.”

If you wanna get a taste of what it was like back in the day, check TCM or Netflix for the 1961 British film, “Victim,” historic for its blatant theme of homosexuality and the fact it was the first film to actually use the word in dialogue. For that it was banned in the U.S for years and almost didn’t see the light of day in its home country. (One of the lines of dialogue the censors wanted cut but failed to from Dirk Bogarde, a lead character who hide his gay side in real life: “I wanted him.”)

The film focuses on prominent and not so prominent Brits who closeted their homosexuality since it was illegal in Britain at the time and would lead to not only a prison term but the death of their professional careers. Besides crashing cinema closet doors, “Victim” helped to change the laws in Great Britain and no doubt helped plant the seeds of equal rights we enjoy today.

So the next time you bitch about some flake who stood you up on “Scruff,” just remember it could be a lot worse – ‘cause it was.

My thanks to Fort Lauderdale’s weekly newspaper, “Agenda” and its article about the “One” saga that inspired me to write this blog.

I’m Letting My Beard Grow Long. Any Grooming Tips?

I’m Growing My Beard Long – Any Grooming Tips?

I grew a beard in my twenties to look older and never looked back. Now that I’m just old, I keep it half out of habit, but mostly because I like the look – both on myself and my men.

I’ve usually kept it white collar office trim (even if I’ve used enough “Just for Men” over the years to fill a fair size warehouse). But now suddenly inspired by some guys in the gym and in the bars and their hillbilly looks, I’ve decided to let it just grow. Hey, I ain’t got no job to go to anymore, and I don’t give a fuck if I end up looking like a cross between a homeless guy and a younger Charlie Manson.

Normally when I hadn’t trimmed for about a week it started getting itchy, but I found dandruff shampoo and a good moisturizing body wash has helped me avoid that. And a bearded buddy at the Ramrod, our leather bar, educated me about beard oil you can order online to keep it kissin’ soft.

But how the fuck do you trim a wooly beard without fucking it up?

I googled “trimming a long beard” and came up with a video that instructs you to use a comb and scissors. But that’s too much fucken work. I have a beard trimmer and put it on its lowest setting and clipped a few of the stray hairs, but I don’t know if that’s gonna do the job long term.

So, you guys out there who grow it long – any suggestions?

The Results Of Monday’s “Is Bisexuality” To Be Envied?” Survey

The Results Of Monday’s “Is Bisexuality” To Be Envied?” Survey

On Monday I asked you guys if you thought bisexuals were for real or closet cases. And while the overwhelming number of you identified yourself as gay, 60% of you thought bisexuals were genuine versus 40% who agreed with my take that they’re mostly BS.

However, what was most interesting is the fact that those who ID’d yourselves as gay were not envious and had no interest in playing both sides of the fence, and the 8% of guys who identified yourselves as Bi were comfortable in your own skin.

No hang-ups! To that I say “Mazel tov!”

As I explored in my blog, “The Pan Sexual Generation” many Millineas, the twentysomethings of American society, unlike us Baby Boomer gays who felt we had to choose a gay lifestyle, are no longer compartmentalized in their sexual or social lives. They have gay friends and str8 friends and fuck women and fuck men. Maybe in the end, is this a healthier way to look at sex and gender relationships?

Who knows?

Three More Months Till The Gay Marriage Soap Opera Ends Its Run?

Three More Months Till The Gay Marriage Soap Opera Ends Its Run?

I hope so. Just like I hope the series “Revenge” that I’m terminally addicted to does. The Feds have thrown their hat in the ring and recently announced the U.S. Department of Justice will be filing a brief with the Supreme Court opposing statewide bans on marriage equality as a matter of equal protection under the law. It will be butting heads with the chief attorneys of several states who view marriage as a states rights issue and have asked the Supreme Court to make up its mind – once and for all.

It’s heartening to hear, considering all the Religious Right and political action groups against us, that thousands of others are filing briefs with the Court supporting gay marriage. Businesses like Microsoft, Facebook, Apple, Coke, and Johnson and Johnson, religious groups, advocacy groups and politicians, including mayors from over two hundred cites across the country, and even sports teams like the Tampa Bay Rays, New England Patriots and San Francisco Giants.

I know I sound crazy but when some guys take porn to bed, I, on occasion, like to read the U.S. Constitution. (Yea, I’m a nerd at heart.) Despite its lofty, almost religious elevation in our society, it is a remarkably brief, sometimes contradictory and intentionally ambiguous document.

Now all of us gay marriage proponents, str8 and gay alike, are hanging our case on the Fourteenth Amendment, which states “ no state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens … nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Case closed right?

Maybe, maybe not.

For nowhere in Article I of the Constitution which talks about the powers of Congress, nor Article II which addresses the powers of the Chief Executive or President, nor Article II which outlines the powers of the Supreme Court is marriage ever mentioned.

Now flip to Amendment Ten: “Powers not delegated to the United States (meaning the Feds) by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states are reserved to the states respectively or to the people.”

Could this mean the Supreme Court might, just might throw the whole SSM issue back in the hands of each state’s voters?

Stay tuned. It’s gonna be one hell of a ratings buster Season Finale.

Take My Survey At The End Of This Post – Play It as It Lays: Is Bisexuality Something To Be Envied?

Take My Survey At The End Of This Post – Play It as It Lays: Is Bisexuality Something To Be Envied?

The title of the Joan Didion novel published in 1970 and set in the late 60’s crazy, anything goes world of Hollywood came to mind when I read about Kate Brown becoming the nation’s first openly bisexual governor. (Unless all you listen to is Beyoncé, you should have heard about the jerk she replaced, former Governor John Kitzhaber, who was forced out when it was discovered his wife-to-be was pushing clean energy policies at the same time she may have been accepting money from the companies most likely to benefit.)

Surveys are only as good as the honesty of the people surveyed, but according to a 2013 study conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control, about 1.6% of the American population identifies itself as gay, while less than 1% classify themselves bisexual. Twice as many women are bisexual than men, maybe because it’s a lot easier to hide a sexual relationship with a girlfriend than a buddy.

First off, I think a lot of you share my view of bisexuality. Is it for real or only a closet gay cop-out? Even if you’re truly aroused by both sexes, wouldn’t you be more attracted or feel more comfortable with the sex that has the same equipment as you do?

Yet, deep down I have to admit, at times, I’m actually jealous of fucks who can fuck both ways, even have deep emotional relationships with both sexes, or as in Didion’s title, “play it as it lays.” Lately I’ve run into some younger guys who represent members of what I’ve labeled the Pan Sexual generation. Again, they have male lovers and female lovers and str8 friends and gay friends and never think twice about it.

A healthy way of looking at sex and life?

Maybe.

Like many guys my age and probably many even today, once we knew who floated our boat, we were forced to make a choice of either shamming a str8 existence or choosing, in the words of poet Robert Frost, “the road less traveled.” Many of us then and many guys even in today’s enlightened times decide to “play” str8 and marry – a woman – and have kids because they think it’s the right thing to do or because of family, ethnic or peer pressures. They are either successful at sublimating their “deviant” desires or at some point go off having “Down Low” encounters or even relationships with other married guys, or lose it all and rape some kid, or just blow the closet door off its hinges and after forty years of wedded bliss, leave wifey and become gay blades. Hell, a retirement haven and gay party town like Fort Lauderdale has a shit load of ‘em, enough to fill the Titanic. (These are the naïve bastards who you read about getting rolled by young hustlers – or worse.)

But what I found most fascinating about Kate Brown’s experience is that she herself admitted, “Some days I feel like I have a foot in both worlds, yet never really belonging to either.” And when she came out to her parents, their response was particularly bizarre: ”It would be much easier for us if you were a lesbian.”

So it could be my perceived envy of folks who can “play it as it lays” may be misguided. And studies by the CDC validate that bisexuals tend to suffer from more “serious psychological distress” than str8’s and even gays.

Maybe the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Or as Shakespeare put it, “to thine own self be true.”

But what do you think? I wanna hear from you on this one. I’ll report on the results of my little survey in a future post.

Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll

There’s Stupid. Then There’s Real Stupid!

There’s Stupid. Then There’s Real Stupid!

This ran in the “Letters to the Editor” in my local paper yesterday here in Fort Lauderdale, Home of the Gay Retired Lonely Hearts:

“Sorry, but I had to laugh when I saw the story about another man being robbed by someone he just met and invited into his home.

Come on guys, how many men has this happened to just in the last six months? Do you really think that this young, pretty hooker really wants a lasting relationship? Bringing someone who you just met into your residence is dangerous and stupid.

The detective that was interviewed called the crime a confidence crime. I do not agree with anyone stealing from another, but in my opinion this was a stupidity crime all the way.”

You go girl! (The author was a woman.)

The same can be said for these idiots who use the N word in public (the latest being those moronic college kids in Oklahoma) and think nobody (like a 13 year with his smartphone) is watching. Hey, you can’t legislate people’s attitudes, but come on, if you spit out a racial or gender or hate slur in a public place and think you won’t get caught, think again.

BTW, that’s why, with all my scandalous writing and all my scandalous pics on FB, I’ll never run for President. But hell, my campaign might fetch me a few hotties.

Huh, whatya think?

Bear Nite at Swingin’ Richards

Bear Nite at Swingin’ Richards

My other half George and I have visited Swinging Richard’s, Lauderdale’s male strip club (actually located in an industrial park in Pompano Beach), more than half a dozen times, and he fell in love with the dancers there at first sight, though the real fantasy is he thinks they like him, really like him too. But why bust his bubble? After all, if you dig ‘em young, these mostly smooth, mostly built and mostly hung men are, for many, the epitome of male beauty as they cavort the stage in all their haughty nakedness. Me? I like ‘em more seasoned, bearded and definitely furry. So when Swingin’ Richard’s held its first ever Bear Nite over last month’s Presidents Day weekend, my response was:

“About fucken time!”

G, with his fascination with watching young men’s pubic hairs grow in, wasn’t interested, so after hitting Slammers , our sex club, where the feeding frenzy for hard cock rewarded me, I decided to swing by Swingin’ Richards where I ended up parking on the grass. The place was mobbed, more mobbed than any night we had gone. The crowd ran the gamut from thin twinks to hot fuckers to middle aged men, some of whom looked like they were about to give birth to twins. But we all shared one common trait – a lust for beefy, furry men.

Recognizing many of the dancers on stage as the club’s smooth regulars, I thought at first the place was pulling some bait and switch game, but then up on the stage popped the kind of guys I had forfeited a second blow job at Slammer’s for. Some super musclemen, others just beefy, a few even with pot bellies, ah, but unlike Swingin’ Richard’s usual photoshopped fare, they were all pure sex for me because they were REAL.

As I cruised around with my Bud Lite in hand – there was no place to sit – I had the honor and the privilege to chat with two of them, both of whom , if the stars had been in alignment, I would have bought for the night. Short like me, humpy, hairy, bearded. And, since I had already seen them naked – well endowed.

The first named Matt recognized me from my Facebook page, infamous for my provocative selfies, and he jokingly promised to message me for some of my “private stock” of pics. (Wanna trade, handsome?) And then there was Bill who I knew from Crunch, our getting-gayer-by-the-day gym, and the Ramrod, our leather bar, where he worked as a bartender on Underwear Night. He was definitely one of those guys who looked better with no clothes on, and trying to keep my hard-on in my jeans, I asked if the dancers received a base salary. “No, just tips” he said, flashing his killer smile, as he gestured to the Caesar salad of dollar bills bulging from his arm bands.

The narrow hall which led to the VIP rooms where guys could be treated to a private dance by their favorite man – for $150 for fifteen minutes of course – was like a highway at rush hour. And it wasn’t just old men who were taking advantage of the club’s “hospitality” – many were also real young like the twenty-five year olds who keep hitting me up on Adam4adam and Daddyhunt.

Even I was tempted. Hell, if my credit cards weren’t loaded with some out-of-the-blue home emergency bills, I would have loved to deposit some money on Bill, either in his flashy PA. Or where the sun don’t shine.

Ain’t fantasy grand? And I ridicule my other half for wet-dreaming.

Raymond, wake the fuck up.

The Results of My Survey on Phone Apps and Their Public Service Announcements Mixed

The Results of My Survey on Phone Apps and Their Public Service Announcements Mixed

March 4th I posted a blog, “Rearranging the Deck Chairs” which questioned the value of public service announcements re. HIV testing on the notorious hook-up phone apps. Well, the results of my survey that followed, instead of pointing in one direction, were kinda mixed. You know, like a pretty man with a small dick or a homely guy which one down to the floor.

Seventy five per cent of the respondents as I kinda expected were over 40, 25%under 40. Those of you who used the phone apps most of the time were virtually tied with those of you who said you used them rarely. When you did use them, 60% of you said you checked them out at home which blew a hole in my assumption that most of you were using them to scope guys on the run. But the good new is the overwhelming majority of you -75% – said you’d pursue a guy you dug, not just use the apps for another jerk-off session.

As for checking out the public service announcements like the ones run by HIV organizations, the vote again was split. Almost 50% of you said you read them, the other half said you rarely did. But when it came to acting on their advice or thinking them of value, a slight majority of you said you would and thought they were a good thing.

So, like advertisers say, sex sells, in this case, getting some worthwhile info out there after you drool over “Mr. Right Now.”

Please, Please Cross Ben Carson Off The List of Presidential Hopefuls!

Please, Please Cross Ben Carson Off The List of Presidential Hopefuls!

Look, I know that most of us gay guys would probably vote for Hillary in a heartbeat, but her star is starting to get tarnished with all that Benghazi-private e-mail bullshit that the Republicans would love to hang her on. And who knows, she might not run at all, figuring the cards are stacked against her with a Republican controlled Congress. (I’m sure the negativity towards Obama has an undercurrent of racism in it, as would the negativity against Hillary for being female.)

Meantime you got most of the Pub Presidential hopefuls like Walker, Rubio, etc., all coming out for traditional marriage. But who gives a fuck? However the wind blows, it will be up to the Supreme Court to decide come June.

Now, the first time around I voted for Obama because his Republican opponent John McCain appeared to have one foot on the banana peel, and I sure as hell didn’t want gosh darn Palin as President. But I must confess I’ve been grossly disappointed in the President since then and voted for Romney, for all his conservative views, the second time around since I felt we needed a decisive business-oriented guy in the White House. You may not agree, but subsequent events may have proven me right.

Okay, but getting back to the Pub views on SSM: being a marriage traditionalist is one thing, but saying being gay is a choice is another. And coming from the mouth of a supposedly highly educated man like Dr. Ben Carson, a retired neurosurgeon, makes that remark even crazier. He also claims that going to prison as a str8 guy makes you gay by the time you come out. Oh, but Dr. Carson has told reporters that his opposition to same sex marriage doesn’t mean he’s anti-gay, but he was sure to mention pedophilia and bestiality in the same breath to explain why he thinks gay marriage is wrong.

Huh??

Just another hopeful that will fade into the background, like Christie who scored zilch at the CPAC conference?

Well, not so fast.

Carson’s in the top fourth or fifth place when it comes to potential candidates conservatives like. Should Bush, who’s considered a moderate, get the nomination, the Republican leadership, to placate its Tea Party members, and knowing that it needs to court the minority vote the next time around, may give Carson, who’s black, the VP nod.

But, looking at the bigger picture, what does all of this say about a big chunk of the American public?

That a lot of folks stlll think we walk into a voting booth at twelve and a half and choose our sexual orientation.

Scary, real scary.

Post Script: in response to the expected harsh reaction his remarks created, Carson came out with an apology: “I regret that my words …were hurtful and divisive … I am not a politician and answered the question without really thinking about it thoroughly.”

You believe him? Not me.