R.P. Andrews's Blog, page 58

Series: “Inside The Mind of A Writer” Begins This Thursday on My Author Site and New FB Page

Series: “Inside The Mind of A Writer” Begins This Thursday on My Author Site and New FB Page

This Thursday, April 16, I begin my new ongoing series, “Inside the Mind of a Writer” on my author website, gay-erotic-fiction.com, and new FB author page – RP Andrews – where I’ll talk about why I want to write, publishing vs. self-publishing, writers who influenced me, character and plot development, and a whole lot more. I also welcome other writers out there to share their perspectives.

RP Andrews

When Sex was Easy (or at least Easier) …

When Sex was Easy (or at least Easier) …

Back in the day, bars were for cruising and bath houses for fucking. Then came one of the first hook-up sites, Manhunt, in 2001, and in short order, the idea of lining up a guy from the comfort of your living room bred a zillion copycats. And once our cellphones became smartphones, a second generation of hook-up possibilities blossomed as phone apps.

But what was supposed to be a means to an end – connect with a guy electronically to meet later in the flesh – morphed over time as an end in itself. Banter some dirty talk, swap hard cock or butthole pics, maybe even Skype, and bingo, bango, you both get off without having to even use mouthwash. Or just flirt, or exploit a guy’s profile pix as your own custom porn site, without him ever hearing from you. Or else use what were designed as hook-up sites to cultivate virtual buddies from across the country or around the world.

Nice, and maybe even a lifesaver for guys who live in the middle of nowhere or in a country where they’d cut your dick off if they knew you liked men, but, sorry, I’m on these sites for the real thing, not to swap Christmas cookie recipes or hear about your shitty day. (Do you really wanna hear about mine?).

A few years ago a buddy of mine and I went down to Key West, armed only with our laptops, and in the space of three days together turned twenty one tricks. And once a year, when family from back North was visiting in Tampa, I would hike up their way to say hello, and after my social obligations, would line up seven or eight guys over the long weekend to corral back at the gay guesthouse I stayed at in St Pete’s. I also used the web as my pimp when I took “whore” vacations to places like Chicago, or L.A. or Atlanta.

But those days of low hanging fruit are over. Now, I would never entertain doing one of these junkets – that could cost close to a thou or more – relying on the web to find sex. It just ain’t happening, even at home, at least not in the free and easy quantities that it did in the day.

So okay, the bars are now mostly social and bath houses refuges for the Denture Creme generation, and the web as a vehicle for finding in-the-flesh sex is largely fucked.

Ah, but for a few of us lucky folk who live in cities with sex clubs, where you can walk around in your jeans and T-shirt and whip out your cock or drop your underwear to have fun, there’s still hope in humanity and gaydom.

When I still lived in NYC, (I left in 2002 for Ft. Lauderdale), my favorite hangout on a Wednesday or Sunday nights (the only nights frankly it was open), was Wally’s, a warehouse-size club in the West 20’s where for the price of what it costs for a rum and coke today you could rummage around hottie territory, blow or get blown or even get it in the rear and in an hour leave like a choirboy with some cum dripping from your beard or some residual lube in your hole.

Well, down here in Lauderdale, we have a place called Slammers and Friday I’ll give you a blow-by-blow rundown about a typical Friday night at my weekend oasis. And on Wednesday, look for another installment of my advice column, “Go Ask Daddy.”

Interesting Results on Monday’s Poll: Should You Trust Him?

Interesting Results on Monday’s Poll: Should You Trust Him?

Monday, I talked about several recent studies which indicated, pretty conclusively, that there’s none, not even a slight chance, that a HIV negative guy can get HIV from a poz partner IF the partner’s viral load, is “undetectable.”

Now I have to say from the get-go, the vast majority of my respondents were over 40 so these results reflect the behavior of older gay men.

On the question, “Do you bareback,” 46% said yes, and 30% responded most of the time. Juxtapose this to the next question, “Does the sex not happen if you or the other guy wants to bareback and you or the other guy wants to play it safe or does one of you usually give in to the other’s wishes?” where 2 out of 3 said somebody would give in. (Given hormones and lust, I wonder who.)

Mixed results in a sub-culture which has kept preaching use of condoms for over thirty years.

Yet there remains some stigma against poz guys since 40% of neg guys claim they only play with other neg guys; 30% say they don’t give a shit.

While most poz respondents claim they disclose their status to their would-be bed partner, most neg guys say they would not fuck with a poz guy with an undetectable viral load on the first date, but 1 out of 3 said might on the second once they got to know the guy.

My conclusion: the “safe sex” world is not as solid as we like to think it is.

So where do you fall, huh, buddy?

Another Installment of My Gay Advice Column, “Go Ask Daddy”

Another Installment of My Gay Advice Column, “Go Ask Daddy”

Buddy: I haven’t been in a relationship for a while now. Am I doomed to be single forever?

Daddy: Maybe. Things could be a lot worse. Ask my buddy Vinny, handsome, intelligent and permanently paralyzed in the space of one weekend by a rare viral infection.

“Maybe” is a limp dick response and I know one that you don’t wanna hear. But I think we live in the Teflon era of relationships, where that big word “commitment” is not part of most gay men’s vocabulary.

You didn’t say how old you are, but I hate to remind you we are in a hopelessly youth-obsessed sub-culture. Most young tend to go for young unless they want someone to take care of them, and not all, but many over 40 guys, like me, that I find attractive want ‘em young too.

Also a lot rides on where you live. If you’re in the burbs or the boonies, virtual lovers may be all you can hope for. Most long distance in-the-flesh romances (whether the guy’s forty miles away or across the country) are hard to sustain. But don’t envy us city folk. Too many guys to choose from can be just as bad. Like down here in gay vacation destination SoFlo, where the new meat syndrome is epidemic, trying to cultivate a fuck buddy is like going for two root canals in one day, and where everybody is waiting for the next hottie off the next plane. Plus you’ve got all those partnered-up guys just looking for a NSA good time, not a new love.

But, okay, if you’ve sown your oats for the fifteenth time, you’re not the one night stand type of of guy or fuck buddy material, or have had it with the tinsel, liquored up, partied up gay lifestyle shoved down our throats, and seek a quiet, unassuming, yes, even slightly boring relationship with another guy, the brutally hard truth is, before you recite your Santa Claus list of what you want in your man, you need to look at yourself first.

I mean, what are you bringing to the relationship table?

Do you believe in yourself or do you need someone else to keep telling you ain’t a piece of shit?

By the same token, do you show an interest in what’s happening to other people, or is your CD player’s laser reader stuck in the “me, me, me” groove?

Do you think great sex is the be-all and end-all in a long term relationship?

Are you waiting for the unattainable and passed up a dozen would-be suitors because they didn’t have blue eyes? Listen, I’m a hairy guy, in decent shape, who’s into other furry, in-shape guys. So who do I fall in love with? A smooth guy in a wheelchair. Go figure.

Are you financial stable or looking to sponge?

Even if the Gay God didn’t deal you the right deck of genes, do you at least attempt to make yourself look marketable to the kind of guy you wanna attract, and not wear your hair like you did in your freshman year in college or because Adam Levine is sporting that cut, or dress like you were going shopping for mothballs at K-Mart?

Do you have bad habits that may turn a potential paramour off, like chain smoking, 4-for-1, happy hour drinking binges, or snorting half the money you make up your nose?

Are you interesting? Can you carry on a conversation that goes beyond yesterday’s headlines on “Entertainment Tonight?”

Are you cautious about throwing your heart on the altar of love until you get to know the guy and start discerning the real from the BS? Sadly, most of us have to graduate from the Gay School of Hard Knocks before that happens.

(Now forget what I just said if you and/or the guy you want is a Bitchy-as-Betty-Davis, chain-smoking, meth-darting, Beyonce-spouting, Details-magazine-addicted, wanna-get-hurt kind of gay guy. Hey, different strokes for different folks.)

Seriously though, if you do click with a guy, don’t start talking matching diamond-studded cock rings from the get-go. “You know, I’m really searching for someone I can spend the rest of my life with…” – I’m gonna puke – and the two of you haven’t even seen one another’s dicks yet. If the sex sucks, the rest ain’t gonna happen.

If you’re cock-sure you’re going to find Mr. Right on one of those hook-up sites or phone apps, there’s some used condoms I’d like to sell you. Dating sites can be dicey – there are guys who pretend they’re looking for Mr. Right but actually all they want is Mr. Right Now. Or the supposed match-ups are AM and FM; an over 40 successful real estate agent buddy of mine, looking for another mature successful guy, got matched up with a thirty old professional student (still working on his graduate degree in advanced basket weaving.)

Okay, so what the fuck do you do then?

If you can’t bring the horse to the water bring the water to the horse.

Get involved!

Look into activities where the potential for meeting a quality guy is at least possible. Volunteer. Join a club. Become an activist. Get into some kind of jock or nerd activity, maybe one you actually enjoy. Join a men’s chorus. Check out local mixers. Be open to suggested dates from trusted buddies.

But just remember one thing: no matter what happens, self-confidence and self-reliance can be the sexiest part of your persona. Once you know that, you’ll realize that finding Mr. Right be not be the most important thing in your life. And guess what? Bingo! That’s when HE will be smiling at you in the ten items or less aisle at Wal-Mart.

Take My Poll: Should You Trust Him?

Take My Poll: Should You Trust Him?

A recently released study, completed by the Aussies, (what better place to do a study on gay sex than in the Land of the Hotties?) which involved sexually active gay men from Down Under, Asia and Brazil, says that there is no – not slight – but no chance that a negative guy can get HIV from a poz partner. That is, IF the partner’s viral load, in the verbiage of the hook-up profiles, is “undetectable.”

This study’s findings match those of a study conducted by the Brits which followed couples in 14 European countries. In both studies, the men did not use condoms and the HIV negative partner was not on Truvada or any of the highly toated pre or post-exposure prophylaxis. Over 30,000 sex acts (were those boys busy!) revealed ZERO transmission. The poz guys have been on antiviral meds for at least five years and ninety percent had healthy T-cell counts.

Okay, so if you’re neg and you like, really like a poz guy online whose profile says his viral load is “undetectable,” should you bareback, which as I’ve said in previous blogs is making a comeback, not only in the privacy of the bedroom but the public arena of gay porn.

I mean, should you believe him? I’d like to hear from you on this.

Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll



Take Our Poll

“The Czar of Wilton Drive” Book Tour Starts Monday

Upcoming Book Tour for The Czar of Wilton Drive” Starts Monday



Hosted by IndiGo Marketing and Design, this Guest Blogger Book Tour for my latest novel, “The Czar of Wilton Drive’ begins next Monday, April 6 and runs through Wednesday, April 15.

Here’s the Tour Schedule, in case you wanna check in:

4/6: Erin McRae and Racheline Maltese http://avian30.com/ – The leather scene and why it may be dying

4/7: JP Barnaby http://www.jpbarnaby.com/ My experience being a rentboy and porn actor in my sixties

4/8: Prism Book Alliance http://prismbookalliance.com/ – Is Gay Marriage All It’s Cracked Up to Be?

4/9: MM Good Book Reviews https://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com – How to Tell If You Partner or Fuck Buddy’s on Meth

4/10: The Novel Approach http://thenovelapproachreviews.com/ – Kinky Sex

4/11: My Fiction Nook http://www.myfictionnook.com/ – Male plastic surgery, testosterone therapy

4/12: TTC Books and more http://www.ttcbooksandmore.com – The Top Ten Worse Gay Habits: In and Out of the Bedroom

4/13: Hearts on Fire Reviews http://heartsonfirereviews.com/ – My affair with wheelchair bound guy

4/14: Literary Nymphs http://literarynymphshotlist.blogspot.com/ – Interview Questions

4/15: Love Bytes Reviews http://lovebytesreviews.com/ – Gay Relationships – traditional, threesomes, fuck buddies

“The Czar of Wilton Drive” is the story of Jonathan Antonucci, a 21 year old, barely-out-the-closet gay man from suburban New York who overnight finds himself a multi-millionaire, thanks to a bequest by his late gay great uncle. Uncle Charlie has unexpectedly died of a heart attack, leaving him the sole owner of several of the most successful bars in Wilton Manors, Fort Lauderdale’s gay ghetto, making Jonathan the Czar of Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors’ main drag.

Flying down to Lauderdale to claim his bequest, Jon encounters Uncle Charlie’s dubious friends and business associates, and is immediately submerged in Lauderdale’s scene of unbridled sex and heavy drugs. He also discovers his great uncle’s memoirs which reveal truths not only about Jon’s own past but also what may have really happened to his uncle.

“Czar” is available through Kokoro Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

The Indiana Mess

It isn’t just Indiana’s since a number of states are contemplating or have already passed similar laws.

But why are both mainstream and gay media making it just a gay thing? What’s stopping a business that, say, is Jewish from barring Catholic or Muslim customers, or vs. versa (i.e., nineteen thirties’ Nazi Germany), or discriminate against Mormons or biracial couples, or Asians because some practice Buddhism? I mean where would it stop? The discrimination lottery has as many permutations as a Vegas slot. And many of the businesses behind this nonsense are politically Republican. Is this how the Grand Old Party is trying to show us they’re more “inclusive?”

Thank God for Wal-Mart. For all its warts, Wal-Mart, which just so happens is Arkansas’s largest employer – its world headquarters are based there – basically told its state legislature contemplating a similar law to shove it

I worked at a Catholic health care system but as a Protestant did not believe in many of its views, particularly when it came to abortion. But when I had my ID card on, I towed the company line. And when the City and State of New York that held multimillion dollar mental health contracts with Catholic facilities demanded the inclusion of an anti-gay discrimination clause in its contracts going forward, the Archbishop balked, but did a back pedal when the City and State threatened to transfer those contracts to non-sectarian entities.

Which brings me to a point I’ve made before and will say again: Businesses, especially if they out to make a profit, are secular enterprises. If you want to wave the Separation of Church and State card in front of me, stop taking all the business deductions on your federal tax returns.

You can’t have it both ways.

P.S. There are plenty of other places who would just love my Disney dollars.

Introducing My New Advice Column: “Go Ask Daddy”

Introducing My New Advice Column: “Go Ask Daddy”

Okay, I admit it. I’m an advice column junkie. I read “Dear Abby” religiously for years, and continue to eat up the advice columns in my local str8 paper and local gay rags. And while I’m sometimes enlightened, often times I’m shaking my head. Like the fellow college profs I associated with while I was teaching who never worked in the cut throat business world like I had, I often wonder if the persons writing this bullshit ever got fucked. Literally and figuratively.

Hey, I’m a gay lifer, have experienced the high highs and the low lows of this lifestyle, had my share of seven minute romances, two week affairs and decades-long relationships, platonic and otherwise, and have had enough buddies cry on my shoulders about their love lives to fill an ocean. No, I ain’t a sociologist or psychologist, but I am a people reader. A damn good one. So what better guy to bring your relationship woes to for at least a second opinion than your Daddy?

I’ll kick off “Go Ask Daddy” with an issue a current gym buddy and former fuck buddy recently came to me with. See what you think …

Buddy: After being solo for years, I’ve found a guy who’s on my wave length emotionally, sexually, the whole package. One problem: he’s still with his current partner of fifteen years but tells me they’re breaking up, though he also says they’re giving counseling one last shot. Should I hang in there or move on?

Daddy: Current partners can mess up the love waters, can’t they? Remember, what counts is what guys do, not what they tell you they’re gonna do. If you feel this guy is “The One,” tread cautiously but don’t start searching for those matching diamond studded cockrings just yet.

It’s up to you, NOT HIM, whether you want to continue fucking him, which can be fun, or whether that will only put you on some emotional roller coaster ride. If you haven’t been there yet, let me tell you, it ain’t pretty. So if a fuck ain’t worth the potential heartbreak, quietly distance yourself and wait to see what happens. Who knows, they may have been talking break-up for the last ten years and you’re just the latest in a line of jilted hopefuls. Guys together for more than a few years frequently have a lot of shared experiences (health issues, family dying, pets) and excess baggage (shared real estate, drug rehab relapses) that may actually get in the way of them ever really breaking up.

And how well do you know your beau? Maybe the other guy has been trying to wean him off a drug or alcohol habit and your beau wants to continue his merry ways. Or the other guy may be your beau’s “Sugar Daddy.” When to comes to a choice between love and money, money usually wins.

So tell your beau you’ll be happy to stay in touch but (a) you’re not going to be the sounding board for every little twist and turn in his current relationship angst, and (b) when he’s really ready to consider you in a serious way, well, that’s why God created smartphones.

Just remember, once a guy is out of a long term link-up, he frequently wants to go back on the market and sow his proverbial oats for the fifteenth time, not instantly get locked into another “marriage.” Maybe he’ll wake up and realize what you mean to him, or maybe not.

In the meantime, don’t pine like some prom girl and wait for that fateful text. Indiscriminate sex is good for the soul, and, who knows, you just might run into somebody who’s as free as a bird as you are, and like you is tired of all that excess data usage bills for those cockteasing apps.

Got a question for “Go Ask Daddy?” Send it to str8gay8@aol.com.

I’m a Guest Blogger Today on Author and Reviewer Vanessa Sims

It’s a prequel to a week-long guest blog book tour for my last novel, “The Czar of Wilton Drive,” starting next Monday, April 6.I’ll be talking more about the tour on Friday; for the schedule, check-out my Facebook author page, RP Andrews. And to check my blog today on Vanessa Sims,use link http://wp.me/p4HpVc-6x

Hear Abut the new “Hello Barbie” Doll? The Hell With That! I Want “Hello Ken!”

Hear About the New “Hello Barbie” Doll? Fuck that – I want “Hello Ken”

To reverse its sagging sales – Mattel’s revenue dropped 59% the last quarter of 2014 which should have been its most profitable time with Christmas – and to attract the techno-savvy kids of today, the company is reinventing its flagship toy, Barbie, and made her interactive. The doll works by recording children’s speech with an embedded mike and then sends that info over the Web where it is interpreted as Big Sister Barbie learns each child’s preferences and then comes back with answers to fit the kid.

In a demo, a child told the doll about her interest in dancing; later the kid asks Barbie what she should be when she grows up and Barbie answers, of course, totally non-sexist: “Maybe a dancer? Or a politician? Or maybe a dancing politician?”

The doll ain’t even on the shelves yet but parents are complaining about invasion of privacy, and how this is a sinister way for the company to identify their kid’s interests for marketing purposes. But fuck Barbie and parents. I want a Ken doll that’ll give me advice about my shopworn love life, boost my ego, you know. To chat with Barbie, the kid has to push a button located on Barbie’s belt buckle; I’d put Ken’s on his crotch.

Ray: Hi Ken.

Ken: Hi Ray, how’s tricks?

Ray: Not too good, I feel like box office poison lately.

Ken: Why Ray? You look kinda hot to me, stud.

Ray: I get all these hits on the web but they go nowhere.

Ken: It’s their loss, not yours.

Ray: Yea, but I got all these hot tops who hit me up, see, I’m a top too, but they still wanna fuck me.

Ken: Have you thought of breaking in your butthole with a dildo? You might like it.

Ray: I don’t know.

Ken: Fort Troff is having a sale. Check ‘em out.

Ray: I don’t want to spend any more money. I spent enough on you.

Ken: Wanna use me then? You can use silicone lube – I’m water proof. Check out Condom World – they have plenty of lubes to choose from. Licorce flavor’s my favorite. And there’s an outlet near you. I can pull up Mapquest for directs if you like.

Ray: Wait a minute. What the fuck happens if you get stuck up there? What the fuck do I do then?

Ken: There’s a great gay doctor on Wilton Drive. I’ll even dial him for you – that is if you yell loud enough so my embedded mike hears you while I’m stuck up your ass.

Then all of sudden the “Recharge me” light flashes. So much for Ken. It’s like watching porn on your laptop in bed and just as you’re getting to the good scene and ready to shoot your load, up comes the “Three minutes of power left. Please connect with power source.”

Fuck technology!