Stephanie Jankowski's Blog, page 33
December 2, 2014
The Time I Ruined My Own Engagement & The Dog Ruined Christmas
A few days before Christmas 2004, my boyfriend of two yearstook me to a Christmas lights display. It’s no secret that I’m like a toddler in an empty refrigerator box when it comes to Christmas, so the venuewas perfection. The icing on the cake was that a portion of the entrance fee went to local […]
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December 1, 2014
Impressing My Kids, 140 Characters At A Time
Know what I hate? Talking on the phone.Text me, email me, knock on my front door (after you’ve texted or emailed that you’ll be knocking on my front door), but for the love of everything holy–if you can avoid calling me, DO IT! It’s not that I don’t care about you–I do!–it’s just that I […]
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November 18, 2014
Oversharing: Gifting Porn To My Dad
I once colored a picture of crabs carrying sand buckets, wrote acaption underneath it, “Now I have crabs, too!” and gifted it to my dad. Because of his t-shirt, “I got crabs in Ocean City, Maryland,” I knew he would just LOVE my picture. Problem was, he didn’t realize I was too young to know […]
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November 12, 2014
Oversharing. I Naired My Face: A Cautionary Tale
You may remember Amanda from her last guest postwhereupon she shared her “little” story with us. Teehee. Little. Aaaanyway, she’s back today with another Oversharing that is bound to have you clutching your chinny chin chin hairs in horror. Read with caution. You have been warned. ********** It’s an ordinary day. And like any other […]
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November 11, 2014
No More Empty Freezers
Recently, I shared a picture of ouralmost-empty freezer on my Facebook page, citing LMLP (Long Month, Late Pay) as the culprit for its sparsecontents. I initially meant it to be a joke, and captioned it with “Cereal for dinner!” But what happened next wasn’t funny. So many of my readers admitted that they struggle, much […]
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November 10, 2014
It’s Your Birthday, Husband!
Hiya, honey! Yesterday was technically the big 3-6 for you, but I had to publish a sponsored post, and since you like saving money and stuff, I figured you wouldn’t mind. Having said that, I do want to officially wish you a happy birthday. And it’s not official until it’s on the blog. Obviously. You […]
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November 9, 2014
Finding Balance at the MomCon in Pittsburgh
Women have a lot on their plates, and I’m not just talking about my soon-to-be birthday plate that had better be overflowing with lasagna, cake, and ice cream. I’m basically the human version of Garfield the Cat. Anyway, no, I’m talking about our proverbial plates that are piled so highwith responsibility and worry that we […]
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November 5, 2014
Shopping with Kids: One Mother’s Victory
I love shopping. LOVE. IT. I do not love shopping with my kids. DO. NOT. Children can’tappreciate the beauty of purchasing new shoes; they much prefer to put the beautiful, knee-high, leather (okay, fake leather, #broke) boots on their arms and pretend they’re monsters. Nor do these small humans understand a woman’sinnate need for quiet […]
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November 4, 2014
Oversharing: The Chicken Cutlets
I’m not a fan of fantasy orsci-fi for the very reason that I suck at suspending my disbelief; I just can’t get with fairies or spaceships or what have you. That said, The Hunger Games is my shiz, so you explain that one. The point I’m trying to make is that I find reality provides […]
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November 2, 2014
If Toddlers Chose Their Own Consequences
The concept of time Cause and effect Putting on one’s shoes These are some of the abstract ideas that completelyelude toddlers. It can be maddening trying to reason with their pint-size persistence, and despite very clear explanations, they tend to miss the mark like their preschool counterparts miss the toilet: completely. 3y/o: […]
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