Andrea Pflaumer's Blog, page 5

31 Days of Self-Care: Day 16, Be Inspired

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The phrase “finding meaning and purpose” comes up pretty consistently when psychologists talk about things that promote longevity and overall happiness. If we want to be inspired about life we need to feel like there is some meaning and purpose to it.

Inspiration can take many different forms and come from many different sources. Sometimes we have to just get out of our rut to see it. (That’s why I posted on Day 14 “Go Somewhere.” The act of changing your environment helps to be re-inspired about life and the world again.)

Getting Inspired By Others

So where can you find inspiration when your enthusiasm is flagging? One way is to find someone who knows how to do something you think is kind of “cool.” If you watch a person who enjoys what they are doing alone that might inspire you to try it yourself. Or, it can re-kindle enthusiasm about something you tried in the past. Maybe once upon a time you sketched, played an instrument, knit, wrote a journal, took up weightlifting, swimming, tried learning a new language, etc. Maybe it’s time to revisit those things.

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Another way to get inspired is to help someone else learn how to do something. That could include anything from mentoring a young person in a skill you have, helping a person who is going through a difficult patch that you have been through, or even helping a friend set up their wi-fi system. In my experience, teaching or sharing with clients and then watching as they “own” that knowledge is one of the most fulfilling things I can imagine. That’s also why I love interviewing experts. What I learn eventually gets incorporated into my own basket of knowledge to share.

Learning new things is a very tangible way to stay inspired. And it also adds your self-confidence bank.

Write It Down

How else can you find inspiration? Keeping a journal is a great and very enlightening way. Two of my favorite books, Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and the Right to Write enabled me to change career directions in my 50s. Cameron describes what she calls “morning pages” – writing your thoughts down in stream-of-consciousness form, without premeditation or censoring. That daily practice of just letting it all spill out on the page inspired me to do things I had never tried before. One of those things was writing. And I landed a regular editorial spot in a local magazine by doing so.

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But when it came to trying a bigger project, my first book, I needed a formula to frame that work. So years ago a friend, Hank Olguin, taught me a terrific method for starting a new project. It utilizes a similar process. Whenever he had to inspire the staff at this public relations firm he took out a white board, gathered everyone together, and had them throw out their ideas and suggestions about how to do the project. Nobody was allowed to comment or say, “that idea sucks.” He wrote every comment on a sticky note and pasted it on the white board. Then the group looked for something valuable in every idea, and then put the ideas in a workable order.

These processes of throwing ideas out and then ordering them engage both the right and left brain. Often, when we feel overwhelmed or uninspired, it’s because one side of our brain has taken over. We need both creativity and an orderly process to bring things to fruition.

Inspiring Material

One of my favorite things to do is to read a little bit from an inspirational book right before I go to bed. It seems to disengage me from the day’s responsibilities, concerns, and pressures. It also sets me up for more peaceful sleep. Sometimes I just open to any page and something jumps out that speaks to an issue I had been thinking about. A lot of people have told me they have had this same experience.

Inspirational reading material can be spiritual or mundane, religious, or funny. And you can also find a lot of inspiration from podcasts, YouTube videos, or films. As for books, in addition to religious texts and spiritual books, I asked my readers for some that they would recommend. Here are just a few. (I would love to know of any you have found inspiring.)

Walking in wonder: Eternal Wisdom for a Modern World by John O’Donohue The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman Hidden Solutions All Around You: Why Some People Can See Them and Some Can’t by Dan CastroAnd this one is for anyone who is embarking on a new creative project. It’s just delightful, inspiring and full of great little gems: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

I think we could all use a little more inspiration these days.

 

 

[As an Amazon Associate I may earn a small referral fee if you purchase anything from any of these links.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 16, Be Inspired appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

31 Days of Self-Care Day 13: Detoxify Your Wardrobe

In Chapter 10 of my book, Shopping for the Real You, I wrote about closet clearing. That advice still stands. Today I want to approach the subject from a different perspective. Since detoxification is a big part of self-care let’s consider some new ways to “detoxify” your wardrobe.

This is a good practice to do periodically for several reasons. An over-stuffed closet makes it very difficult to actually see what you own. Also, if you hang any wool or cashmere items in there they will become a more favorable secret breeding ground for moths. And, items that tend to wrinkle need space to hang without being squished together. So let’s look at how to detoxify your closet to get the most mileage out of your clothes.

Does This Suit My Current Age and Lifestyle

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You may have heard from a life coach or read in a self-help book that you should dress for the life you want to live. Or, you may have heard that you should dress for how you want to live five years from now. Those experiments can be fun. But life changes, and we change, and what may have been a priority, or a dream, or a goal five years ago may have nothing to do with who you are now and what your priorities and goals are now.

I think a better way to approach this is to look at the things in your closet and assess whether they reflect how you want to be perceived now, at this stage in your life, at this age of your life. One of the things that color and style analyst Hella Tsaconas advises in order to determine if some article of clothing or an an entire outfit works is to ask: “Where am I going and how to I want to be seen?” That’s often a more successful way to determine whether you should keep or toss an item of clothing.

How Happy Do I feel When I wear This?

When you spend months and months wearing sweats or just not getting dressed up much at all you can tend to lose enthusiasm for the joy of fashion. I think that’s a shame. There is nothing wrong with getting joy out of material things. But they should elevate us in some way, either aesthetically, or psychologically. What we wear should make us feel happier, healthier, more beautiful, more engaged, more current and more alive. That’s the purpose and the value of fashion.

And don’t think that if you love something you can’t wear it on repeat. When you have a beautiful garment that is  flattering to your coloring and your personal style, every single time you wear it you will feel uplifted. I always encourage clients to buy the best they can afford. But that does not mean you have to wear expensive clothes. One of the most fashionable dressers I knew was an Italian woman who always looked like she had just stepped out of Bergdorf’s. She actually did a lot of her shopping at Target. And she always looked joyful in everything she wore no matter how many times she wore it.

So if you are harboring things in your closet that don’t make you happy, it’s wise to give them away.

How Comfortable Am I in This?

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This one should go without saying, but I have heard too many women say that you have to suffer for beauty. I think after a certain age we realize that’s nonsense. The idea of comfort should be applied to everything you wear or carry. (As for the latter, a beautiful but heavy bag won’t likely get used as much). My sister had a gorgeous pair of embroidered heels that she wore to an awards event. They sat on a pedestal in her closet for a long time, just glorifying the space. But at some point she let them go. She knew she would never wear them again. It was not a hard decision.

Additionally, if you have put on some weight, or lost a lot of weight, evaluate how comfortable you feel wearing things that you used to wear. Our clothing shouldn’t own us or make us feel uncomfortable. If anything you wear does, ask yourself how happy you really feel wearing it.

I hope these tips give you something practical to go on. Sure, you can use the standards of ditching things that are worn out or no longer in fashion. But if you apply these three ideas to your keep-or-toss decisions you can’t go wrong.

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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31 Days of Self-Care: Day 11, Do Something Decadent

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Yeah, I know, decadence is a dirty word these days, especially when everyone is pushing you to go all minimalist in your closet, your kitchen, your vehicle, for the environment, for the planet, etc.

But I’m not talking about  the kind of indulgence that inspires laziness or depravity. I mean the kind that allows you to feel a little sinful…without actually being sinful.

Think about the things that you would love to have, to do, to eat, but deny yourself regularly because they are (choose as many as apply) fattening, too expensive, not available locally, out of your comfort  zone, not on your health regimen, or that if you try once you’re afraid you’d get hooked.”

Silk and Wool Shawl on Amazon

Or maybe just things that your friends, family or religious institutions “just don’t do,”

I want to give you permission to be decadent. Here’s what I mean.

How to Be Decadent, Without Being Decadent

Indulge. Buy that gorgeous shawl, even if you only place it somewhere to look at it on the wall or love seeing it in your closet.

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Eat that one éclair, or luscious pastry. (I did say “one.”) And thoroughly enjoy it, every single bite. Eat it as if every morsel was manna from heaven, nurturing your every cell.

Take something you regularly launder to the cleaners and let them do it for you. Hire someone to do something that is becoming difficult, annoying, or just plain unpleasant for you to do.

 

 

Go get a manicure or pedicure. Really can’t afford it? Then put it on your wish list for your next birthday or special occasion – ask for a gift certificates for it for your next birthday.

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Do you see that a cookie, sandwich, piece of chicken, or a last banana that you were saving for someone else to eat? Eat it. Sit down, take a breath and enjoy it. Nobody will die if you do this. This is especially important if you tend to be the martyr in the house. It tells the other members of the family that you matter too.

But, I Just Can’t…

Yes, I hear some of you: “with the kids and our budget and my responsibilities, these are impossible.”

OK, then simply carve out the time to do any single one of these other things.

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Make yourself a cup of tea, coffee, or pour yourself a glass of wine, shut a door, grab a cozy wrap, and sit down with a book you have been wanting to read. Or put on your headphones and listen to your favorite music or a podcast you have wanted  to hear.

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Or go somewhere, alone, without a “purpose” other than to spend time enjoying yourself. Walk slowly, as if you had all the time in the world and nothing else to do, nowhere pressing to go. Indulge” in every beautiful, interesting, joyful, unexpected thing you see or person you encounter. Walk into that interesting store that you have passed and wondered about. Sit down in a café or park and people-watch.

How It Changes Your Life

I think you get the idea. This form of “decadence” puts you more in touch with your body and less “in your mind.” Letting go of the “shoulds, musts, or have tos” from time to time releases you from a lot of physical and psychological tension. You will feel more relaxed. A practical benefit is that you will make decisions from a more relaxed state instead of from a worried, anxious, or pressured one. That’s because, unlike the way mind often fools us, the body doesn’t lie.

When you create a sense of luxury in your life, starting with even little luxuries, eventually a more luxurious life becomes your reality.

I would love to hear what your form of “decadence” might be!

 

 

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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31 Days of Self-Care: Day 9, Laugh Every Day

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Just as the universe loves a cheerful giver, the world loves a person who can laugh. Laughter is one of those things that can be had for next to nothing. Anyone who has toddlers or little kids or pets probably laughs every single day. (My husband and I often said our dog was put on earth with one job: to make us laugh every day. She excelled at that.)

The benefits of laughing are very wide-ranging: physical, mental, emotional, and social. So let’s look at the many benefits to be had from laughing regularly, and then some of my suggestions for how to get a good laugh.

 

Physical Benefits of Laughing

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For starters, laughter is both stimulating and relaxing. Some of its most notable benefits are found in the area of cardiovascular health. A hearty laugh causes you to take in more oxygen-rich air, stimulating your lungs, heart and muscles. It improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow. And, it releases endorphins, those “happy” hormones that lower your blood pressure and can relieve physical pain. All of that can help protect you against a heart attack and numerous other cardiovascular problems.

Not only does it flood the body with more happy hormones, it also releases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies. Stanford University Medical School researcher, Dr. William Fry, discovered that people who laugh release more disease fighting T-cells from the spleen into the bloodstream. And in Norway researchers found that people with a good sense of humor tended to outlive more dour folks. This was particularly true for cancer patients.

And here’s one you might really appreciate: laughter helps you burn calories! In one study researchers discovered that laughing for 10 to 15 minutes a day can burn about 40 calories. Assuming your weight is steady, you could lose three or four pounds a year by just laughing! Also, it reduces the stress hormones that can contribute to weight gain.

A good hearty laugh will also relax your muscles for a good 45 minutes.

Laughter as a social connector

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It’s not always easy to see the humor in difficult situations. But I have always admired friends who are able to do this. It is extremely disarming. It’s also pretty hard to be angry at someone who can laugh at themselves and their own foibles. Granted, you need the “funny” gene to pull this one off consistently. But if you can see the funny side of a problem or conflict, you can rapidly de-escalate it. And when you both can laugh at it, voila! Problem solved. Laughter can help you release anger and feel more stable.

People tend to gravitate to those who are more cheerful. That’s because those with chronic emotional conditions like depression and anxiety have a much harder time forming and keeping relationships. If they are regularly are exposed to funny situations, movies, books, etc. they become easier to be around. And they will be happier in themselves as well. The hormones associated with laughter can also diminish a person’s stress levels, improving how they feel about themselves.

Nothing to laugh about?

Alright, I hear you saying that we haven’t had much to laugh about for a while. But that’s all the more reason to laugh. You just have to create an opportunity to laugh. I recently polled some of my friends and readers for their favorite laugh-out-loud movies. Many people suggested the same ones. (I tried to do the same with book recommendations, but they were all over the map. People have wildly differing opinions about what is a funny read.) Here are those that Bravo thinks are the 100 funniest comedies.

And here are some of the ones my readers and friends suggested:

Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein

Caddyshack

Best in Show

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

A Fish Called Wanda

Pink Panther

Hail Caesar! (VERY quirky but hilarious)

Talladega Nights

Anchorman

This is Spinal Tap

Blazing Saddles

Coming to America (the original)

Bowfinger

Airplane

Galaxy Quest

I hope some of them get you laughing. And if you have some others, let me know!

 

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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31 Days of Self-Care Day 8: Skin Care From the Inside Out

Suzanne Blons, the Beauty Shaman

Today you are in for a real treat. My YouTube guest is Suzanne Blons, The Beauty Shaman. Suzanne began her career as a professional model for Elite Modeling Agency in New York, where she worked with some of the greatest international fashion photographers of the era. You might remember her as the Charlie Girl for Revlon. She eventually turned her attention to studying beauty and skin care.

Now she has developed one of the most popular beauty websites and is the Makeup Department Head at Gaia TV, an online consciousness media network based in Boulder, Colorado.

On her wildly popular YouTube channel she offers educational content for the mature woman. In our interview she shares her expertise about essentials for creating healthy skin and the importance of building the “scaffolding” first.

Toward the end of the segment she describes a few products that she personally recommends. Now, before we ever spoke I wrote to her to explain that I never recommend products that have parabens, toxins, allergens, or any other funky stuff.  She was exactly on the same page. She absolutely agrees, and says that these products are “clean.” I was just so delighted. She is a delight.

I know you will love this interview. Here’s the YouTube link.

Here are the supplements she described that benefit the skin: Vitamin C and Omega 3-6-9. They are generally considered safe supplements, but I encourage you to do your own research into the dosages that would be right for you.

And here are the products she likes:

 

C Serum from Truth Treatment Systems

Truth Treatment Systems C Balm

Truth Treatment Systems Retinol

 

 

 

Stay beautiful – inside and out!

 

 

[I receive no compensation from any of the products shown here.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care Day 8: Skin Care From the Inside Out appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

31 Days of Self Care – Day 6: Using Both Sides of Your Brain

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We have all heard about people who were either “left-brained” or “right-brained.” In general, the left hemisphere of our brain governs our logical, analytical and objective thinking and the right hemisphere governs creative, emotional, and intuitive thinking. There are great advantages to developing both.

One benefit of using both sides of the brain is that it makes the ability to focus and recall information easier. Also, because of their opposite qualities, as you engage both sides of your brain you will find your mind becoming both more powerful and more peaceful. That means that you might respond with less anxiety, anger or depression. You will start feeling happier and more optimistic.

Another major benefit is that you will develop more holistic insights into people and the workings of the world. Here’s a great example from a very successful ivy league grad I know. When he applied for his freshman year at Princeton he learned that he was expected to take many humanities courses before diving deeper into his engineering major. The university administration simply wanted their students to become well-rounded human beings, not just people who were good at regurgitating facts and data. He felt that his exposure to those other disciplines back in college profoundly impacted the way he approached the development of his award-winning engineering projects.

Synchronizing our Brain Hemispheres

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There are many ways to balance your brain hemispheres. You may have read that doing crossword puzzles, word games or math exercises will do this. But depending on which side of your brain is dominant, those may simply be reinforcing abilities that you already have. The key is to do something that is challenging, something that requires a new skill.

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The best skills will require using both sides of the brain. One of the most important developmental skills for a baby is to learn how to crawl, placing one arm and the opposite leg forward, and then repeating the action on the other side. That simple movement engages both brain hemispheres. So consider the various physical exercises one can do that require both sides of the body. Dancing is great for this. Learning to play an instrument is another. Every musical instrument – from keyboards to strings, from wind instruments to percussion – require using both hands, and in the case of pianos and drums, the feet as well!

Speaking of feet, an exercise that both my chiropractor and physical therapist recommend is to stand on your less dominant leg while doing things like washing dishes. Or, try writing with your non-dominant hand. A man I know who has a PhD in Psychology, has also become a fine artist. He often practices drawing by first using his right hand, and then his left.

Other Ways to Balance the Brain

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But yes, puzzles and games will also help synchronize the hemispheres of the brain. Again, pick something that you’re not good at. So if you like word puzzles and games, try a math puzzle instead. Or take up juggling, and start with your non-dominant hand. Or try taking a different route to a destination than your usual one. Or just start singing! If you think you’re not very good at it, all the more reason to do it!

Learning a new language is considered a left-brain activity. But recent research indicates that babies begin learning language by identifying basic sounds. That process of distinguishing the acoustic details of the sound requires engagement of the right brain. So now’s a good time to take that language class or use that series of Italian language DVDs you bought but never opened!

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Another method is a “pranayama” breathing technique. (“Prana” in Sanskrit roughly translates to “breath” or life force.) This one is really simple. You just cover one nostril with your thumb and inhale through the other nostril, hold the breath for just a few seconds, then switch; cover the other nostril with your index finger, exhale, and then inhale on the open side, hold that for a few seconds, switch sides, and repeat. You just do this for a few minutes daily.

And of course, meditation is a powerful way to balance the hemispheres of the brain. My own practice is Transcendental Meditation® which I have been doing for 50 year. There is ample research to support that this technique is integrating to all the quadrants of the brain.

Neuroplasticity: Saving our Brain

This is one of the very hot topics in science these days. “Neuroplasticity” is the brain’s ability to form new neural pathways and connections when we learn something new. It’s a subject that is particularly important for anyone who has had a stroke or who has any form of cognitive impairment. Dr. Norman Doidge wrote a wonderful book about it called The Brain That Changes Itself.

His numerous case studies describe people who had received pretty hopeless diagnoses after an event that caused them brain damage, but recovered through a variety of forms of sensory input. So practicing any of these brain-balancing games, processes, and skills can deliver ongoing, long-term benefits. They balance the brain hemispheres while at the same time creating those new neural connections. That’s a win-win for both: mind body integration and staying mentally sharp.

We live in a time when the left brain dominates many of our most powerful institutions and the right brain seems to dominate the emotions of the rest of the population. Seems like we could all use some hemisphere balancing!

As the saying goes, use it or lose it.

 

 

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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31 Days of Self Care: Day 4 – Connect With Your Senses

A Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman

If you’ve somewhat isolated the last two years you may have become a little bit numb to what you are feeling at any moment. If we fear mingling in crowds, going to public places, even seeing friends and relatives, our senses tend to shut down.

But we have physical bodies for a reason. We are “fed” through all our senses. We ingest and nourish ourselves through what we hear, see, touch, smell, and feel. There are many things we can do in our own environment to awaken our senses. A lifetime is short, in the larger scheme of time. Enjoy the senses you have while you have them.

If you want a place to start I can highly recommend Diane Ackerman’s Natural History of the Senses. It’s delightful and enlightening.

 

 

Smell

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The sense of smell can evoke wonderful memories; the aroma of an apple pie baking in the oven on a cold winter day, the invigorating scent of pine trees on a mountain trail, or the fragrance of the salty air wafting through the breeze on a seaside vacation. Someone’s personal scent (we all have one) or their perfume or cologne can trigger our subconscious attraction to them.

This is why the loss of smell that has been experienced by some people who contracted Covid was devastating. Our sense of smell is a very fundamental and visceral part of life because it connects us with our limbic system, the region of our brain associated with memories. Whether you choose incense, essential oils, food, or plants, make fragrance a part of your life.

Buying yourself fragrant flowers is a lovely way to nourish the sense of smell.

 

Touch

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Human touch calms the central nervous system and slows down the heart rate. It lowers blood pressure and triggers oxytocin, the hormone that helps us bond with others. Lack of touch can shorten a life. Covid has made that painfully evident.

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In the years that I taught movement therapy and fitness to seniors at a local hospital, I made it a point to physically touch a lot of my students; a hug, a gentle touch of the arm, a pat on the back. Many of them were widows or widowers who hadn’t had any physical contact for months or years. Whether or not you are fortunate to have a loving family or group of friends around who you can hug, you can still receive the benefits of touch; getting your hair washed and your head massaged at a hair salon and getting your head massaged or getting bodywork are options. And if all else fails give yourself an oil massage before taking a hot shower. It’s an excellent form of self-care. Ayurvedic practitioners recommend it as a daily process.

 

Taste

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How much do you really taste your food? How present are you when you eat? Do you savor each bite? Or do you just scarf it down quickly? When we actually take time to eat with awareness every bite becomes more enjoyable, and more importantly, more digestible. One of the best lessons I ever learned was from an Ayurvedic doctor who told me to chew each bite 20 times. He said, “your stomach doesn’t have teeth!” When you honor what you are eating, you are honoring the person who made it, the farmer who grew it, the person who delivered it to the market, and most of all, yourself.

Photo by Kraken Images on Unsplash

Enjoying what you eat makes the process of eating a holy event. And when you share that with friends, it doubles the enjoyment.

 

 

 

 

Hearing

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This is one that I have personally had to come to terms with, as I started losing my hearing about 15 years ago and have now lost about 80% when I’m not wearing my hearing aids. One of the hardest things to accept was that I can no longer hear musical notes. The way the brain works with hearing loss is that if you have heard a song from your youth, your brain remembers what it sounded like and you will still be able to hear the notes even when your hearing goes south. But anything new or highly digitally manipulated simply sounds like static.

Our sense of hearing is a very significant part of our life’s story: the gentle sound of the rain on the roof, a baby’s gurgling or first words, the soundtrack of our lives through the popular music at various phases of our lives. Protect your hearing – and encourage the young people in your life to wear earplugs when they attend loud concerts, or turn down the volume on their digital devices.

 

 

 

Sight

What we see – and what we choose to see – is “ingested” as much as anything we eat. It might inform, shock, soothe, inspire, calm, or agitate us. When we look for the beauty in our surroundings, choose films or videos with beautiful scenery, go to museums or art galleries displaying beautiful images, we are feeding our very souls. What do you make a regular part of your visual “diet?” And how does it affect you?

Make it a habit to connect with your senses. It is very grounding, and well…satisfying!

 

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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31 Days of Self-Care: Day 3: Your Financial Well-being.

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Financial security is a major part of self-care. And, one of life’s biggest stressors is financial well-being. It impacts just about every area of our lives and many of our relationships.

If you’re fortunate and/or were foresighted enough to have invested wisely over the years it’s likely less stressful. But fortunes and circumstances can change. So here are some basic ideas about how to allocate your resources, and how to create more.

When it comes to fashion, I always encourage my clients to buy only what they need, buy the best quality they can afford, and then wear those items on repeat. That way you never feel deprivation. Those items will always make you feel (choose a few) confident, beautiful, comfortable, elegant, or elevated when you wear it.

Buying and Selling

Of course, keep your eye out for sales. But if you can’t afford something at the full price and your size is gone when the sale comes around, don’t make that a source of regret. Some things are just not meant to be. In the grand scheme of life, that nice sweater or handbag means next to nothing.  Now, some amazing finds can be discovered at vintage shops. But if you just don’t go there, make sure that what you already own is laundered and in good repair.

Photo by Sarah Brown courtesy of Unsplash

But, maybe you can make some money by freeing up space in your closet. Do you have some nice quality clothing or home accessories that you are thinking of parting with? Learn how to sell things on resale sites like eBay. Tell friends or neighbors that you can do this for them. Also, contact real estate agents. They often have clients who are downsizing and would be delighted to pay you a portion of the proceeds by selling items they aren’t planning to take to their new home.

Using the Skills You Already Have 

Ekaterina Bolovtsova on Pexels

If you’re thinking about how you might be able to generate more income, look to your own experience and the things you love doing. Maybe it just requires marketing a skill you already have, like starting a cake or pastry baking service for friends, neighbors or local organizations.

Or maybe you can make casseroles for full-time working couples in your building or neighborhood. Or daycare for a local family. Can you do simple – or even complex – tailoring from your home?

Are you good at organizing, or do you know how to use financial management software like Quicken? Could you help out some elderly neighbors who might need help organizing or putting their accounts in better order. Do you have an eye for style? Can you confidently advertise to your community that you do this?

Making Life Changes

Sometimes having a better economic outlook might require bigger adjustments. Might you consider moving to where the cost of living is less expensive? Have your ever visited somewhere and felt charmed by the area? (I have several friends who have moved to Mexico, Canada, New Zealand and Great Britain in the last few years.) Do your research, ask friends who might live there, determine how much you will have to give up, and what you will gain.

And then maybe you just need to improve your ability to market yourself by taking new classes at your local adult school center to upgrade your skills. There are classes in so many marketable areas: languages, fitness, computer and finance skills, web design.

And don’t be afraid to ask for professional help from people who are already doing what you are considering. Ask successful people. They are often very generous with their advice and might be able to to advance your career or help you make some connections.

Job Interview?

Eileen Williams of Feisty Side of Fifty – Interview

Now, if you are confident in your skills and are simply thinking of applying for a job somewhere, prepare yourself as best you can to make the best impression. I very highly recommend watching this interview I did with Eileen Williams for my first series, Vital, Vivacious and Visible after 50. She is an expert in this area and offers some very valuable and absolutely practical advice.

Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash

But if you balk at any of these suggestions, maybe it just comes down to budgeting more carefully. And maybe you can simply re-think what actually nourishes you and your family, not just nutritionally, but also emotionally, such as the things that serve as your entertainment. A family day trip to the beach or mountains can reset your whole perspective on the blessings in your life. If you want to read more, there are neighborhood library boxes that people set out in front of their homes, and of course, there is the public library. You can find a world of entertaining videos and educational films at your local library. And gratitude for what you already have is the gateway to more abundance in your life.

Give to Receive

Finally, many people encourage others to start saving, even a little bit, every month. Although that is a good idea, a very wise friend of mine suggests this counter-intuitive advice: regularly donate to an organization that is materially helping people in some way. He has seen it work in his own life, and in the lives of hundreds of people he knows.

It can be as little $5 a week or a month. But be consistent. And keep giving. He has seen repeatedly that over a period of about 18 months (and often less) people start to receive monetary blessings. Now, if even that is a stretch, donate your time.

Giving makes you feel abundant. And Nature loves a cheerful giver.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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Day 1, 31-days of Self Care: Moving At the Speed of Nature

Louise Hay

To start off this month of posts and emails I want to talk about something that has been a life-long challenge for me. To frame that, let me tell you a personal story.

About 40 years ago, I did part-time bookkeeping and business organization. One of my clients was a beautiful and interesting woman who was just starting out her career. Her name was Louise Hay. Louise had overcome many personal challenges and traumas, including sexual abuse as a child and uterine cancer developed in her teens, from which she healed herself without medical intervention.

She wrote a book about how our belief systems contribute to illness – and to our health – that became a best seller (Heal Your Body) and started her on the lecture circuit.

 

 

 

She eventually founded a company called Hay House, the most successful self-help publishing company in the world. And she published two more books, You Can Heal Your Life, and a workbook entitled Love Yourself and Heal Your Life.

 

As a partial payment for my employment, Louise offered me some private healing sessions. I can’t remember exactly how the subject came up, but one day I mentioned an old electric blender that only worked at the very lowest setting and the very highest. Everything in between was inactive.

Louise looked at me and in no uncertain terms said: “Throw it away! Buy a new one.” She then suggested that the blender was a perfect metaphor for how I was living my life: either at high speed or at complete exhaustion. I bought that new blender, but for a long time I was resentful: “why waste money on a new one if that one at least does the job?” (She also worked with me about healing from poverty consciousness.)

And of course, she was right. I was running on empty, almost all of the time. And I knew it. I knew that someday it would catch up with me. I came to understand that my “zoom/crash” MO was simply a form of avoidance. I was avoiding just being in the moment and experiencing what was happening.

Instead I camouflaged it with a flurry of activity or I completely zoned out. But eventually, I came to deeply appreciate the lesson. I figured if SHE could sit with her feelings, I certainly could sit with mine.

Photo by Joshua Yu courtesy of Unsplash

What Louise opened my mind to that day was the idea of living and moving at the speed of Nature. Doing this is a way of honoring life and the natural rhythms in our lives. It took me many, many more years to fully embrace that lesson. But it made me a much more balanced person, physically and emotionally.

I have made “moving at the speed of Nature” a very big priority in my life. I walk more slowly because doing so keeps me connected with my soul.

I have learned to eat more slowly. That has made my food more delicious.

I have learned to pause and think before I speak and act. My speech has become more effective. And that has made my relationships better.

So, where in your own life might you overworking? Do you just call it “multi-tasking?” Or have you also learned to connect with Nature’s rhythms? Has that been easy or difficult? In what way? Do other people in your life respect your “rhythm”? Drop me a line. I’d love to hear your answers and know if this resonated with you and why.

Here’s to a beautiful New Year and a month of self-care.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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Gift Ideas for Different Style Types

Photo by Drazan Zigic

An old friend told me that she gave gifts to people that she, herself, liked. She cited the tenet: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I thought this was a kind a flawed idea for gift-giving.

What if the person is nothing like you in taste, style, or preferences?

As someone who advocates seeing and appreciating the uniqueness of each human being, I thought I would do a quick run-through of the main style types with a few ideas for gifts that might appeal to those people.

Keep in mind that these are single, pure style facets, and that people are multi-faceted. But these suggestions might point you in the right general direction.

Things? Or Experiences?

Note: This year a lot of my friends have suggested the value of giving experiences or consumables, things that aren’t necessarily “things.” It’s a way to use fewer resources and create lovely memories. So I’ll also list some of those for each style type. And please remember the people in your life who are alone this year. The holidays can be especially difficult for them.

For convenience I am listing several things from Amazon (I am an affiliate and my book is only available there.) But I strongly encourage you to shop at your local independent book stores or gift shops for similar or identical items. Small retail has gotten crushed in the last two years and this would be a good time to put in the extra effort to support them, especially the ones that don’t have an online presence on Amazon, Etsy, or eBay.

You’ll see several suggestions from Gold Belly. They are a food and gift aggregator site that features a fabulous selection of specialty foods from hundreds of independent mom and pop food stores around the country, many of which ship overseas as well. (Warning: a friend just turned me on to this site and you can get lost there!!)

OK, let’s start. We’ll go from the most “yang” type to the most “yin” type.

 

Dramatic

Our Dramatic-type friends express yang energy in the sense that their image and their demeanor, is dynamic, often commanding. They like to go places where they can see people and be seen, and be in environments where their dynamic energy is reflected back to them.

So what might make them visible? For starters: look for anything that shines or sparkles.

Linen Poly scarf

Snoozies Ballerina Bling Slippers

A shiny scarf in a bold color (most Dramatics have a fair amount of bold coloring, but some shade of gold will work for almost everyone.) It comes in 21 fabulous colors and prints.

If they enjoy lounging at home, a pair of sequined slippers could be fun! These come in six colors.

As for food, make it something that says “luxury.”

Vosget Chocolate Tower

 

Frances Hayes’ Always Italy

Dramatics have really felt the effects of the lock down, not being able to be out in the world. They love dramatic experiences. We’re not talking about roller coasters here, but events like live theater, musicals, concerts, opera, and intimate club performances. Tickets to any of those events would be a wonderful gift for a Dramatic type.

 

Dramatics often love travel, and they like dramatic places with natural and man-made beauty. So a beautiful coffee table travel book, an exciting tale about a foreign adventure, or a foreign food book might fill them with lovely memories or help them make plans for future trips.

Food Trails from Lonely Planet

The Rocks by Peter Nichols

 

Natural

Frankly, Natural style types are possibly the easiest people to shop for. Their priorities include things that are practical, usable, and/or bring comfort or enjoyment on a sensual level: flavor, aroma, or feel. So the possibilities are endless.

As “nature” children, they would appreciate anything that references nature. If they are avid gardeners they might like something like a gardening apron, gardening gloves, a unique plant for their garden, or a collection of planted herbs.

The Grommet Garden Tool Apron

Harry and David Herb Garden

Gardening Gloves

And of course, any home-made treat, such as jam you make yourself from your own trees, or a baked tart, sweet or savory, would be a beautiful way to show your appreciation.

Bird scarf from Walmart

doTerra Petal essential kit

In terms of fashion, something that reflects nature is also a good bet. This one comes in three colors. And everyone could use some calmness and upliftment these days. Essential oil kits are a wonderful gift for a Natural. This one contains a diffuser, lavender oil (great to rub on your feet at night to help with insomnia too) and wild orange oil that has purifying and stimulating qualities.

 

Rivers and Tides by Andy Goldsworthy

And as for the wonders of nature, nature-related videos are another wonderful gift. This one is both full of natural beauty. wonder, and very artistic.

Phot by Ivan Samk on Pexels

But almost more than anything, Naturals also need human connection. Inviting them over for a meal or for a walk through beautiful scenery at the beach or in the park, and then stopping for coffee and a chat creates a longer lasting “gift” than anything material that you could give. And according to all the research, that human connection is the single most important factor for our longevity.

 

 

High Spirited

High spirited types also long for human connection. But that would likely have a different quality than a Natural’s version. These are people on-the-go. And, like Dramatics, being locked down has been pretty hard on them. So any gift that can take them on an adventure, actual or virtual, or get them moving would be a delight.

Journeys of a Lifetime form National Geographic

And like Dramatics, they LOVE to travel. But they are more interested in adventure than drama. So fun books about travel, dvds, or actual trips would fit the bill. Also, quirky films of any kind might delight them, like this.

Many High Spirited types love to dance so send them this link and they will dance along with these videos or come over to their place for a dance party! Bring along some fun socks for dancing barefoot!

Make Your Own Fortune Cookies Kit

Barcelona Silk Scarf

Or bring over ingredients to make something together. This one could also be hilarious because you can write your own fortunes. (I don’t “get” the edible pen that comes with it, but whatever…)

As for fashion items, High Spirited types like things that have a sense of motion or playfulness in their design or construction. A tasseled scarf could be a wonderful option, or a charm bracelet.

Shashibo puzzle

 

And this award-winning magnetic puzzle  can create 70 different shapes would give them hours of enjoyment and delight.

 

 

 

Classic

Classics love anything that is useful, simple but with a touch of elegance. Actually, they just like high quality things in any category.

Truffle goat cheese wheel Cheese from Cypress Grove on GoldBelly

Jacques Torres Signature chocolates

For the culinary Classic on your list, this award-winning truffle goat cheese wheel would make quite an impression, as would these Jacques Torres chocolates.

Classics tend to like Classic entertainment. That might include classic vintage movies, but also anything about the royals, real or fiction. Also, Downton Abbey fans will be queuing up to see the next sequel, coming out in March. Until then, pick up the latest version or offer to take them out to the theater when it arrives.

Downton Abbey complete set

They also have refined taste and often love books about beautifully appointed homes. So a book about classic architecture or interior design is a good option for them. They might also love books about architecture of interesting interior design.

By Design: The World’s Best Contemporary Designers

Leather Gloves at Lands End

Pashmina scarf from Sunrise Pashmina

As for fashion, a pair of leather gloves would be a beautiful gift for a Classic type, and these ones are on sale at Lands’ End right now and come in eight beautiful colors. And a pashmina or silk/pashmina mix scarf is a perfect gift for a Classic. This company works directly with the grower/supplier in Nepal and has incredible prices, but there is a $85 minimal order, so get something for yourself too!) The scarf is only $19.

If you know the person well enough and are close, an engraved signature bracelet or necklace would be a very meaningful gift.

Eve’s Addiction engravable inital gold necklace

And an invitation to a formal (or semi-formal) dinner would be a wonderful gift for a Classic. Be sure to set the table with candles and flowers!

 

Romantic

Russ and Daughter Babka

Vosges Truffles

Luxury and sensuousness are part of a Romantic’s life. If you stick with those two themes you can’t go wrong. So consider about something fabulously decadent to eat, like this chocolate babka or some Vosges chocolate truffles.

And anything soft and fluffy that makes them feel romantic and sexy is a good bet, like these Nap loungewear pompom slippers or a faux fur collar.

Pompom slippers from Nap Loungewear

Chico’s pull-through faux fur scarf

Uma Pure Bliss candle

Fancii LED lighted travel Mirror

Romantics are natural sybarites and love spas. So anything that might help them create that at home for an at-home spa day or just to bring a lovely fragrance, like a scented candle, is another perfect choice for a Romantic. This one natural oils scented candle from Uma has a 75 hour burn time and is free from any synthetic fragrances.

Romantics often love to travel, and they want to look beautiful wherever they are. A travel mirror could make a lovely gift. Or take them on a “travel” adventure to Italy in Laura Morelli’s Night Portrait or to the city of Eternal Love.

Night Portrait by Laura Morelli

Rome: Portrait of a City

If you really want to treat your Romantic friend, invite them out to a lavish meal at a really nice restaurant.

 

 

 

 

Youthful

The holidays are probably a Youthful’s favorite time of the year. So you pretty much can’t go wrong by getting them almost anything as long as it has pretty wrapping. They just are delighted by having presents to open.

Kalimba thumb piano

Walmart Soprano Ukelele for Beginners

Youthfuls can get lost in playing – that means playing music, playing a game, or working on a puzzle. You might consider getting them a new and relatively easy-to-learn instrument, like a thumb piano (it comes with instructions) or a ukelele (be sure to also buy the music book if they are a beginner.)

21 Songs in 6 Days by Jenny Peters and Rebecca Bogart

Bits and Pieces 1000 piece puzzle: Savannah Animals

Bouchon Bakery Macarons

And a jigsaw puzzles, could be a great gift. Youthful types often have a soft spot for animals, so this one could be fun. Now, when it comes to food, think of something fun and bright like a collection of colorful macarons.

For clothing, some fun socks to wear while joining their High Spirited friends for a dance party, or just to wear on their own, would be a terrific gift.

Hotsox anklets for women

Loaded Questions Family version

Lawrence Frames Paw print frame

And they love to laugh, so a fun and funny game that can be played with multiple people can be a terrific gift for them. This comes in many versions, but the “family friendly” one is this one. Also, Youthfuls are sentimental at heart. If they have recently had a new addition to the family, human or animal, or a special event, a picture frame would be a nice gift.

 

But to warm their heart and uplift their spirit, take them out for an entertainment event, like a Disney movie, or on a trip to an amusement park or zoo!

 

Angelic

Crystal prism

This type lives in a more rarefied world, emotionally. At least that’s how they appear (they can actually be some of the strongest people!) Something that speaks to their love of all things ethereal, angelic or otherworldly might delight them, such as this prism that reflects light everywhere. It could bring them years of enjoyment.

Many angelic are really into healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. Buy them a pass to your favorite yoga studio and go with them.

Portable smoothie blender

A personal smoothie maker could be a good choice, especially if they travel and want to be able to eat healthily wherever they are.

Signature Salted Apple Caramel Pie, Four and Twenty Blackbirds

But when they fall off the wagon, this is what one my my Angelic friends picked out for herself from the Gold Belly site, and this is what she said about it: “A delicious twist on classic apple pie. Elegant apple with an invigoration infusion of Caramel. French vanilla ice cream too for an angelic addition of creamy goodness.” (Drooling over the thought…)

As for clothing, Angelics typically can wear shimmery (but not too shiny or sparkly) textiles and those that are very fine and delicate. This scarf would work beautifully for them.

 

 

Betsey Johnson moon and stars earrings

 

Go to Your Happy Place – Mountain earrings from Morgan Lane Tanner

And dangling earrings with a celestial motif are another great choice. Also, as Angelics can often wear ombre designs, these earrings (on the right) could be lovely on your Angelic friend.

 

 

 

Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements

Religious or spiritual books that have an uplifting message are another great option. Here are three options: Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s Classic tome, Science of Being and the Art of Living, and Byron Katie’s A Thousand Names for Joy.

Science of Being and the Art of Living: Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

A Thousand Names for Joy by Byron Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

y

Local Hero

The Secret of Roan Inish

The same is true for movies that inspire or transport them to another time or place.

 

 

 

 

So I hope that gives you some ideas and some clues about what each style type might like. If you want to know more about your own style, and how it is revealed in all aspects of your life, I invite you to check out my new course, Discovering Your Inner Style: an Adventure in Dressing Authentically. Learn about it here. For you, my dear readers, I’m offering a discount of 15% off through December 8, with the coupon code GIVE 15.

Have a beautiful and fulfilling holiday.

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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