Shirley Roberts's Blog
March 3, 2014
A Business Approach to Caregiving, in a Nutshell
At some point, most caregivers will face the heart-wrenching dilemma of how to take good care of their ailing parent or spouse and still have a life of their own. Family-care leadership and care-team operations are the two fundamentals of the Doris Inc. caregiving approach that will solve caregivers’ stressful predicament.
My brother, David, and I became equal partners at the helm of Doris Inc. We proactively planned and managed all aspects of our mother’s care and well-being, and always spoke with one unified voice. As family-care leaders, we became knowledgeable about our mother’s medical conditions and care needs, and we scheduled, coordinated and monitored her care.
We assembled three care teams that worked collaborative to anticipate and meet Doris’ needs as her health declined. Our family caregiving team consisted of David and me. We played a dual role of managing care and providing care. In our caregiving role, we were responsible for ensuring that all of Mom’s needs and wishes were met, because we knew her best.
Our health care team was responsible for Mom’s medical care and eventually her nutrition and hygiene care. The team changed as her needs changed, but included her family doctor, a home health care service provider, various medical specialists, and eventually a nursing home.
Our caregiver-companion team was responsible for Doris’ happiness and comfort, and eventually for helping her to eat. We started by hiring one companion to work three two-hour shifts a week. Once my mother reached the middle stage of Alzheimer’s disease she needed as much care as companionship, and a lot more shifts, so I changed the job to caregiver-companions. Even if a family can only afford to hire one caregiver-companion or use volunteers, just a few times a week of personal attention will give an elder a diversion from his or her illnesses, and their family caregiver a much needed break. I will discuss the role of caregiver-companions in a separate blog post.
Doris Inc. worked beyond our wildest dreams. My mother was happier, no longer lonely, and she was receiving much better care. We had created a loving home environment for her, with professional, attentive and compassionate care. We also had developed a great back-up system for us. By sharing the care, I had more personal time and I was able to find a state of equilibrium where my mother’s needs and mine were both being met.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
My brother, David, and I became equal partners at the helm of Doris Inc. We proactively planned and managed all aspects of our mother’s care and well-being, and always spoke with one unified voice. As family-care leaders, we became knowledgeable about our mother’s medical conditions and care needs, and we scheduled, coordinated and monitored her care.
We assembled three care teams that worked collaborative to anticipate and meet Doris’ needs as her health declined. Our family caregiving team consisted of David and me. We played a dual role of managing care and providing care. In our caregiving role, we were responsible for ensuring that all of Mom’s needs and wishes were met, because we knew her best.
Our health care team was responsible for Mom’s medical care and eventually her nutrition and hygiene care. The team changed as her needs changed, but included her family doctor, a home health care service provider, various medical specialists, and eventually a nursing home.
Our caregiver-companion team was responsible for Doris’ happiness and comfort, and eventually for helping her to eat. We started by hiring one companion to work three two-hour shifts a week. Once my mother reached the middle stage of Alzheimer’s disease she needed as much care as companionship, and a lot more shifts, so I changed the job to caregiver-companions. Even if a family can only afford to hire one caregiver-companion or use volunteers, just a few times a week of personal attention will give an elder a diversion from his or her illnesses, and their family caregiver a much needed break. I will discuss the role of caregiver-companions in a separate blog post.
Doris Inc. worked beyond our wildest dreams. My mother was happier, no longer lonely, and she was receiving much better care. We had created a loving home environment for her, with professional, attentive and compassionate care. We also had developed a great back-up system for us. By sharing the care, I had more personal time and I was able to find a state of equilibrium where my mother’s needs and mine were both being met.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
Planning for the ‘Not So Golden’ Years
When my mother was 80, she suffered a life threatening mishap, a punctured lung, during surgery to insert a pacemaker. Her recover took eight months and left her very frail. In hindsight, I realized that my brother and I were completely unprepared to support our parents through their declining years. Fortunately, I discovered that there are predictable stages of decline that will help us plan for our parents,’ our spouse’s and our own increasing care needs, living arrangement changes and eldercare costs that will probably be necessary.
With advancing age, we step onto a ladder that only goes down, as physical and/or mental health decline. There are typically four stages of decline. Not everyone will go through all four stages, and the length of time spent at each stage will vary greatly. However, the need for increasing care in the final years of life can reasonably be expected.
With time, seniors’ joints become stiffer, they lose bone and muscle mass and stamina. Their reflexes, flexibility and balance aren’t as good either and their eyesight and hearing often diminish. Welcome to the supportive living stage, when seniors typically need a watchful eye from family members, neighbours and friends and ongoing help with chores. Living arrangement options are to stay at home with help, move in with family, or move into a retirement residence or seniors’ housing.
The risk of a medical emergency, such as a bad fall or a stroke, increases on this steadfast stepladder of decline. This may be a temporary setback, but most often it is the beginning of a more rapid decline in health. With increasing inactivity and frailty, and cognitive and/or multiple health problems, seniors decline to the assisted-living stage. They usually can no longer drive, cook, or take care of their home and may need help with a bath or getting dressed. Accommodations options are to stay at home with more help, move in with family, or into an assisted-living retirement residence.
When illnesses grow more disabling and complex, seniors become totally dependent on their family and health care professionals for their care and well-being. In this dependent-living stage, they will need 24-hour nursing care, an on-call physician, and assistance with most activities of daily life. The two most common living arrangement options are a nursing home or moving in with family, supported by health care professionals.
When a loved one becomes terminally ill, and close to the end of life, they have reached the palliative care stage. Medical supervision by an on-call physician for pain management, as well as 24-hour nursing and personal care are typically needed. Comfort care, and emotional and spiritual support help to provide a good death. The accommodations options are a nursing home, an acute or palliative care unit in a hospital, living with family supported by health care professionals and hospice, and a hospice residence.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
[1] Roberts, Shirley. Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for your Elderly Parents. John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd. 2012. P.62. Print. Included with permission of the publisher.
With advancing age, we step onto a ladder that only goes down, as physical and/or mental health decline. There are typically four stages of decline. Not everyone will go through all four stages, and the length of time spent at each stage will vary greatly. However, the need for increasing care in the final years of life can reasonably be expected.
With time, seniors’ joints become stiffer, they lose bone and muscle mass and stamina. Their reflexes, flexibility and balance aren’t as good either and their eyesight and hearing often diminish. Welcome to the supportive living stage, when seniors typically need a watchful eye from family members, neighbours and friends and ongoing help with chores. Living arrangement options are to stay at home with help, move in with family, or move into a retirement residence or seniors’ housing.
The risk of a medical emergency, such as a bad fall or a stroke, increases on this steadfast stepladder of decline. This may be a temporary setback, but most often it is the beginning of a more rapid decline in health. With increasing inactivity and frailty, and cognitive and/or multiple health problems, seniors decline to the assisted-living stage. They usually can no longer drive, cook, or take care of their home and may need help with a bath or getting dressed. Accommodations options are to stay at home with more help, move in with family, or into an assisted-living retirement residence.
When illnesses grow more disabling and complex, seniors become totally dependent on their family and health care professionals for their care and well-being. In this dependent-living stage, they will need 24-hour nursing care, an on-call physician, and assistance with most activities of daily life. The two most common living arrangement options are a nursing home or moving in with family, supported by health care professionals.
When a loved one becomes terminally ill, and close to the end of life, they have reached the palliative care stage. Medical supervision by an on-call physician for pain management, as well as 24-hour nursing and personal care are typically needed. Comfort care, and emotional and spiritual support help to provide a good death. The accommodations options are a nursing home, an acute or palliative care unit in a hospital, living with family supported by health care professionals and hospice, and a hospice residence.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
[1] Roberts, Shirley. Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for your Elderly Parents. John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd. 2012. P.62. Print. Included with permission of the publisher.
March 1, 2014
An Introduction to My Blog Posts
Welcome to my Doris Inc. blog. Let me begin by telling you a little bit about my caregiving journey that eventually led me to write this book.
When my father died suddenly in 2002, I became the primary caregiver for my mother, Doris, a role I held until she died in 2009. I did the best I could for Mom, but I was torn between my conflicting roles. I wanted and needed to spend more time with my mother, but I also wanted to keep my consulting business going. For a year and a half, I tackled her health and loneliness issues using what I called a solo-firefighter approach to caregiving, focusing only on her crisis of the day. My approach failed miserably, and left me feeling exhausted and no longer in control of my life.
When my mother was hospitalized after a bad fall, she became totally dependent on me for her care and well-being. At that point, I realized I urgently needed to find a better approach to caregiving. My brother and I instinctively drew upon our extensive business experience and applied business disciplines to caregiving to solve our problem. We found a way to provide top-notch and loving care for our mother while still having busy lives and careers of our own. We affectionately called our venture Doris Inc.
While caring for my mother, I discovered that our society’s crisis-driven approach to caregiving too often results in neglected elders, burnt-out caregivers, and stalled careers. This disturbed me greatly, and inspired me to share the strategies that worked so well for us. My goal in writing this series of blogs is to empower families to handle the many challenges of the golden years in a prepared, informed and proactive way. In my upcoming blog posts I will:
1) Share practical tips from my book that address the tough issues aging families face.
2) Take you on my journey since writing Doris Inc. as I uncover new insights.
I hope you will subscribe to my blog and provide me with your feedback. Your comments will help me focus on topics that are the most helpful to you.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
In 2014, some of my blog posts will also appear on Crossroads360.com
When my father died suddenly in 2002, I became the primary caregiver for my mother, Doris, a role I held until she died in 2009. I did the best I could for Mom, but I was torn between my conflicting roles. I wanted and needed to spend more time with my mother, but I also wanted to keep my consulting business going. For a year and a half, I tackled her health and loneliness issues using what I called a solo-firefighter approach to caregiving, focusing only on her crisis of the day. My approach failed miserably, and left me feeling exhausted and no longer in control of my life.
When my mother was hospitalized after a bad fall, she became totally dependent on me for her care and well-being. At that point, I realized I urgently needed to find a better approach to caregiving. My brother and I instinctively drew upon our extensive business experience and applied business disciplines to caregiving to solve our problem. We found a way to provide top-notch and loving care for our mother while still having busy lives and careers of our own. We affectionately called our venture Doris Inc.
While caring for my mother, I discovered that our society’s crisis-driven approach to caregiving too often results in neglected elders, burnt-out caregivers, and stalled careers. This disturbed me greatly, and inspired me to share the strategies that worked so well for us. My goal in writing this series of blogs is to empower families to handle the many challenges of the golden years in a prepared, informed and proactive way. In my upcoming blog posts I will:
1) Share practical tips from my book that address the tough issues aging families face.
2) Take you on my journey since writing Doris Inc. as I uncover new insights.
I hope you will subscribe to my blog and provide me with your feedback. Your comments will help me focus on topics that are the most helpful to you.
By Shirley Roberts, Author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
In 2014, some of my blog posts will also appear on Crossroads360.com
February 28, 2014
Build a Safety Net for Your Aging Parents
Osteoporosis Canada and the Kingston, Frontenac, Lennox & Addington Chapter of the Alzheimer Society both ran a longer version of the excerpt below in one of their newsletters. The passage is from the chapter called “Elder Proofing to Reduce Preventable Crises” in my book, Doris Inc. I think it is an important message for current and future family caregivers that can save them tremendous anxiety and regret.
“What would happen if your aging parent fell down a flight of stairs and was knocked unconscious, or had a stroke when they were alone in their house? How would your mother or father get emergency help? How would you feel if you couldn’t reach your parent several times on a day when you expected them to be home? Where would you turn for help to determine if they were in danger?
Having a safety net in place for seniors before a life-threatening emergency occurs ensures that they have immediate access to medical attention, which can prevent catastrophes, such as a person not being found for days. A safety net reduces complications by getting them the help they need quickly, while at the same time providing peace of mind to all family members”
“Seniors also need ready access to assistance when they have questions or concerns, or are unable to handle a problem on their own. Finding a neighbor to do odd jobs around the house, such as replacing a light bulb in a ceiling light fixture, can prevent a fall and injury, which is especially important when a senior lives alone.”[1]
The following list provides more practical tips to create a safety net for your parents:
Install a 24-hour a day personal emergency-response system.
Arrange regular checks by phone or in person by family, friends and neighbours.
Give house keys to trusted neighbours.
Buy a phone specially designed for declining vision and hearing abilities.
Buy a cordless phone that can be taken outside to prevent running for the phone indoors.
Compile a phone directory in large print of the important people and organizations in your parents’ lives.
Arrange for a MedicAlert bracelet if a senior has allergies or a medical condition that puts them at risk in an emergency.
Putting a safety net in place is the first important step to creating a safe home environment for your parents. I will cover other ways to create a safe home environment in subsequent blog posts.
By Shirley Roberts, author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
[1] Roberts, Shirley. Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for your Elderly Parents. John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd. 2012. P. 112. Print. Included with permission of the publisher.
“What would happen if your aging parent fell down a flight of stairs and was knocked unconscious, or had a stroke when they were alone in their house? How would your mother or father get emergency help? How would you feel if you couldn’t reach your parent several times on a day when you expected them to be home? Where would you turn for help to determine if they were in danger?
Having a safety net in place for seniors before a life-threatening emergency occurs ensures that they have immediate access to medical attention, which can prevent catastrophes, such as a person not being found for days. A safety net reduces complications by getting them the help they need quickly, while at the same time providing peace of mind to all family members”
“Seniors also need ready access to assistance when they have questions or concerns, or are unable to handle a problem on their own. Finding a neighbor to do odd jobs around the house, such as replacing a light bulb in a ceiling light fixture, can prevent a fall and injury, which is especially important when a senior lives alone.”[1]
The following list provides more practical tips to create a safety net for your parents:
Install a 24-hour a day personal emergency-response system.
Arrange regular checks by phone or in person by family, friends and neighbours.
Give house keys to trusted neighbours.
Buy a phone specially designed for declining vision and hearing abilities.
Buy a cordless phone that can be taken outside to prevent running for the phone indoors.
Compile a phone directory in large print of the important people and organizations in your parents’ lives.
Arrange for a MedicAlert bracelet if a senior has allergies or a medical condition that puts them at risk in an emergency.
Putting a safety net in place is the first important step to creating a safe home environment for your parents. I will cover other ways to create a safe home environment in subsequent blog posts.
By Shirley Roberts, author of Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for Your Elderly Parents
[1] Roberts, Shirley. Doris Inc.: A Business Approach to Caring for your Elderly Parents. John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd. 2012. P. 112. Print. Included with permission of the publisher.
