Scott Burtness's Blog: Scott's Thoughts - Posts Tagged "pizza-is-awesome"

One thing I'm always amazed by is how wonderfully diverse this country is. Seriously, it's a veritable cornucopia of everything. Wander from coast to coast, Canada to Mexico, and you can't help but be astounded by the richness of cultural experiences you can dive in to.

I think the best example of this is pizza. I mean, c'mon! There is nothing more American than pizza. That's right. Pizza. A cheesy, doughy, sauce-laden melting pot of all that makes this country great.

Let's start in New York City. In fact, it's such a great starting point that many people never leave. Why do they stay? Some might point to the world-class museums, historic neighborhoods, Broadway, Central Park, the Status of Liberty, blah blah blah. They might talk about any number of things that are 'oh so great' about NYC, but when you get down to the brass tacks, what they're really staying for is the pizza. It. Is. Awesome. Big triangle slices the size of your head. So much grease. And the pepperoni. Wow, the pepperoni. Fold it in half, shove it in your face, and die happy.

*bliss*

Now wander down to old Chi-town. That thin, floppy crust? Gone. Now you're going deep, way deep into your deep dish pizza. You like sausage? You won't find sausage anywhere in the world like the sausage you'll get in your Chicago-style deep dish pizza. You like innovation? You're mind will be blown by the stuffed pizza. That's right. Chicago pizza craftsmen actually figured out how to get the toppings INSIDE the pizza and the sauce on top! It's mind-blowing. Like, step into an alternate reality and have an amazing slice of pizza mind-blowing.

*wonderment*

OK. It's Gateway to the West time. St. Louis knows a thing or two about pizza. Here you were thinking that pizza couldn't be pizza without a doughy crust and mozzarella cheese. Well, St. Louis begs to differ. You get your sauce. Check. You get your crust, but wait a sec - it's cracker thin! And if that wasn't enough to flip you on your ear, instead of mozzarella, you get Provel. "What's Provel?" you ask. Oh, you know. It's just a combination of CHEDDAR, SWISS and PROVOLONE! Boom. Take that, pizza with just one kind of cheese. St. Louis rocks it three-cheese style.

* total trifecta*

Now let the gradual slope of the country roll you west, all the way until your toes get wet in the Pacific Ocean. You know what Californians do with their pizza? Where do I even start? Goat cheese. Spinach. Avocado. Shrimp. And that's just the tip of the California-weirdo iceberg. Sick of marinara? Get a white Alfredo sauce instead. Feeling a little 'been there, done that' with your regular crust? Grab a pie with a bagel crust. That's right. Bagel crust. Let me say it again. Bagel crust. Wow.

*astounding*

And I haven't even touched on flat bread pizzas, French bread pizzas, squares instead of circles, pizza pot pies...

This truly is an amazing country. Wherever you are, grab a slice of national pride, take a bite and celebrate this amazing country.

Wait, what? Pizza's Italian? For real? Like, "from Italy" Italian?

Huh.

Hmmm.

Um.

Oh! I know! Nothing says America like French fries and gravy!

What? Canada!?!? Crappers.

OK. I obviously need to do a little research before my next blog post. In the meantime, though, one thing's for sure:

This post hasn't been even remotely helpful for authors.