Scott Burtness's Blog: Scott's Thoughts - Posts Tagged "double-standards"

Con life

Ah, conventions. Generally speaking, a room full of people trying to sell their stuff at the same time would drive me to drink.

Awww, who am I kidding? I don't need to be driven to drink. I just drink.

But seriously - have you been to a convention? I've been to a lot. My "professional" experience covers a lot of industries, and apparently every industry, no matter how esoteric, has conventions.

Ugh, they're awful. You have to schlep in all this stuff. Then you have to set up the equivalent of a Venus fly trap made out of a folding table and a wrinkled table cloth, and cover it with a bunch of brochures, samples, and some kitschy grab-items that were most likely manufactured by child labor in an overseas factory that has no regard for human life or the environment. You have to hang a banner with some bold, catchy slogan that a highly-paid marketing exec squeezed out of a bunch of unpaid interns, and then force a smile onto your face and repeat said slogan six-hundred and forty-seven times a day. At the end of the day, you sleep on a hotel bed, in sheets that have caressed waaaaaay too many ass-cracks and hairy backs, and the next morning drink that terrible instant coffee in a little Styrofoam cup while sitting on a lumpy chair beneath a flickering floor lamp with a cheap fluorescent bulb while trying not to think of what that stain is on the carpet.

Yep. Conventions. They are the pits.

Except horror cons and comic cons.

Those, I frickin' love. The people. The cosplay. The celebrities that always seem to be a cross-section of some of my favorite pop-culture icons. The vendors are always awesome. Talented artists, curio purveyors, creepy film makers, creepier authors, odd-ball owners of specialty stores that throw their doors open wide and welcome in all who dwell in the Land of Geek.

I kid you not. Horror cons and comic cons are some of the best people-watching and people-meeting in the entire flippin' world.

Given my love for horror and comic cons, I think it's safe to say that 2017 is going to be a damn fine year. I've already been to a cool comicon, and I have two awesome horror cons on deck. I can't wait to schlep in my books, set up my table, sling mini-candy bars at passer-byers like its some weird live-action carnival game. I can't wait for those creepy hotel sheets, and that stain on the hotel room carpet is guaranteed to inspire something for my next book. I can't wait to see old friends, meet new ones, and just let the whole experience wash over me like a wave of fake blood and Fresca.

Huh. I have no idea where that last simile came from.

Anywhoo. Let's sum up, shall we?

Conventions? Boo.

Horror and comic book conventions? Yay!

See ya at the con!
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Published on June 27, 2017 15:52 Tags: convention, double-standards, nasty-hotel-sheets

Scott's Thoughts

Scott Burtness
Whatever you find in this blog, one thing is for certain - it all came from my brain.
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